Well........

It's gonna boil down to "Bitch, get out of my chair."

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>>52881397
Replace "goddess" with "god" and I already have this covered.

>well i just saw a painting of you in the local temple and i lobbed my own head off with my vorpal sword because girl you look positively divine
>*nervously roll for seduce*

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>52881397
I attack the Goddess of Death and Judgement.

>>52881397
He won't stay there for long.
Phylactery.

>>52881439
>>52881485
>>52881494
>>52881497
Eternal suffering and torment.

Next.

>>52881397
"I felled a barony for the sole purpose of creating a place where I could control enough land and people, and have enough willing minions so as to provide for me a safe haven to continue my research into warping the fabric of life itself as I willed it. In the process I deposed a slaver, and killed his rabble, and led a tribe of cowed humanoids to reclaim a former glory, as well as to make peace between them and their ancient enemies. It took hundreds of deaths, some magical brainwashing, and countless hours of research, but it was all worth it. My apprentice will carry on my work, and eventually overcome his own needless boundaries, in that his race cannot cast magic, to become the mage he always dreamed of being, and to liberate the relics of his past from the despotry of his people's sad superstition.

Judge as you will, lady. I regret nothing."

>>52881585
Asha will cause creation to suffer for this.
GG bitchy.

>>52881610
Sentence: Eternity in the domain of his chosen God.


Next.

>>52881397
"I died during sex with a Seraptis demon. I actually nailed the seduction roll and she was into it, but I miscounted my modifiers and it turns out that I couldn't actually survive sex with her. I thought my body was ready, but it really wasn't."

I shall explain nothing to you, false god.
A true god of judgement would be an embodiment of the eventuality of justice.
And justice would not matter to the dead, for justice is served.

Where is the god of justice? I wish to complain for this injustice.

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>>52881397
Probably in a stupid accident.

>>52881397
I have traveled the land with my companions, defending those who could not from those men and unholy abominations that would prey on those who cannot defend themselves. I gave gold and the gift of healing to the poor of the city streets. I slew undead, and slew those who would raise them.

I kept one of my comrades, a half-orc, from straying down a path of dark violence, bringing him back to the light and guiding his fury towards evil.

My life was given freely to defend my comrades while we fought an unholy demon. I shielded them from the worst of its magic, which killed me in the process.

My only regrets are that I cannot be there for my friends and my lover, to give my life once more for them, and that I will not be able to raise my lover and I's child.

>>52881763
To eternal torment...quickly before I vomit.

>>52881740
>>52881857
Sentence: Eternity with the God of your choosing.

>>52881817
Sentence: Reincarnation. Try again.

>>52881397
Politely stall for time with random adventuring stories while waiting for my clone to activate.

>>52882110
Eternal torment and suffering. Oh, and destroy the clone.

"In life, I cared for nothing more than gambling and competition. So when I and my allies defeated a demon at the request of one of his victims, I converted his den of greed into a temple of Kurgess. In my carelessness, I was felled by one of the local savages. I suppose some people cannot be helped."
I played a Summoner that loved gambling and jousting and summoned a horse-shaped Eidolon in imitation of that, and so worshipped Kurgess (god of Do You Even Lift?) despite being a spellcaster.
The final foe of the campaign was a Jewish demon that ran a synagogue/bank in a place called 'Shankswood'.
We decided that with a name like that it was filled with Mexicans (ents) and black people. My character tried to make a temple of Kurgess/gym out of the demon's lair. Going along with our established stereotyping, the locals shanked my character in the Epilogue.

>>52882133
>Eternal torment and suffering. Oh, and destroy the clone.
Alright m'am, that seems fair.
>Get sent to eternal torment, one of my MANY clones finally activates.
>I swear, once I get a few divine ranks I'm going to punch that bitch in the face.

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I was oiling my abs in the name of the emperor.
.....and then I slipped and fell into the webway portal.
.........and then Chegorach told me a joke that made me laugh for a whole month.
..............and then I slipped again and fell on a squad of Eldar Harlequins.
You can figure out the rest.

>>52882174
>>52882325

Sentence: Eternity in the domain of the God of your choosing.

>>52881397
>which character is standing before the Goddess
The one that can't die due to setting bullshit. Checkmate.

>>52881397
I had sex with the wrong goddess that night. Now that I think of it, it might have been a god.

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>>52882174
>>52882373
>eternal arm-wrestling with Kurgess
True happiness.

>>52881397
I spent my life on 12 hour days in front of computer screen. I died choking on pork rinds and week old soda that had been left in the sun.

Do your worse.

WAKE ME UP

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>>52881397
Waiteth a second, didst thee sayeth "gods"? mine own mistress, th're is only one god, thou art but a m're pretendeth'r. Prepareth to kicketh the bucket wench!

>>52882794
Yes!
One God!
And his name is Ralph!

>>52882813
I thought his name was Lionel?
I rather thought I'd like to get along well with a god named Lionel..

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>>52881397
This is a violation of the Pax Arcanum.
>Uses Practice of Transfiguration to put upstart goddess in her place.

>>52882836
No!
Only One!
And his name is Ralph!

but i'm rather found of the name Lionel..

Ayiyiyiyiyiyi! You will die for insulting Ralph!

>>52882794
Christ that early-modern was awful.

>Hold! Dist thou sayeth "gods"? Mine own mistress, there be only one God, thou art but a mere pretender! Prepareth thyself to kick yon bucket, wench!

You learn the weirdest things, watching FiM

>>52882752
I feel like eternal torment would be a step up.

Sentence: Reincarnation, try again

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>>52882920
How dareth thee fig me knave! I shall alloweth thee knoweth yond i useth https://lingojam.com/englishtoshakespearean to translateth mine own w'rds to fusty english!

>>52882920
>>52882857
>>52882848
>>52882836
>>52882813
>>52882794
>>52882762

Eternal Torment and suffering.

Next.

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>>52881397
Well, let's see. I scared away a barbarian army by leaving half of their alive and crucified prisoners in their marching path during the daytime, and the night before the battle I set alight the other half of the prisoners and sent them screaming into their camp. I guess after that they figured they'd had enough and most of the men had deserted the barbarian chieftain by dawn.

>>52881397
The love of my life was dying painfully of illness so I killed us both on the same sword.

>>52883067
Thy word processor earlier produceth the word "pretendeth'r" as a noun. Yea, I tell thee that the "-th" ending be applied only to the second person singular of a VERB.

Thy translator be lacking, fool.

Also in early-modern English and actually until about the 19th century, "be" was used rather than "is".

I encountered an Orc infant, and I thought, it is dishonourable to kill an infant, yet I must destroy evil.
So, under my supervision I raised the infant, knowing one day I would have to destroy it to fulfil my oath.
That day has passed.

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>>52883249
>dishonorable to kill an infant
Sir Anon, please, when you kill vermin or crush a spider you don't worry about whether the animal is a baby, you kill it no matter the circumstance.

>>52883084
AHAHAHAHA
No.
>Transfiguration (Any ••••• ••••) The archmaster gains complete control over anything under the Arcanum’s purview

>>52883319
But those creatures hold no importance in my quest to destroy evil.
H-have I disgraced my order's code?

>>52881397
The last character I played was a noble who went into self-imposed exile to protect her lover. She basically wandered around fighting evil until she found out she might be able to find her ancestral sword and go home.

During her roving she slew a demon and stole its magic ring, drove a band of brigands from a fort and saw to its restoration as a way of protecting the local people, and restored a noble man to his rightful throne.

She died in order to free her ancestors from an ancient curse, allowing them to return home after hundreds if not thousands of years being frozen in stone.

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>>52883354
Unfortunately yes, sir anon. You have vowed to destroy evil, yet what you failed to understand is that evil can take many forms, even the form of a young child. Orcs are evil to the core, no matter the gender or age. You assumed that you'd be able to kill the Orc when he came of age, but what if you weren't able to? What if the Orc was just biding his time to kill you? Well then you would be dead, and he would be free to roam and breed, leaving more death and destruction in his wake.

>>52881397
>I swore to protect the innocent and destroy monsters! I spent my life traveling the realm to do just that, and I died to give my dearest companions a chance to escape the clutches of a misshapen demon!

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>>52881397
I really wanted a crown.

Really really.

Can I have yours?

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>>52883443
You're a horrible father.

>>52883327
>Dominate ••••• •••••: Plot Device

Caine says no.

>>52883443
I can see where this is going.....
I could've used a psionic or a seer but no, I am now stuck here, with an obviously vain and prideful wench of death itself.

>>52883508
Practice of Transfiguration is from New World of Darkness anon.

>>52883327
No.

Your in the God of death's domain. She makes the rules here.

>>52883481
>>52883471
>>52883389

Sentence: Eternity with the God of their choosing

How did I get here I was on the way to the kitchen to get a push pop I think I may be in the wrong place

>>52883993
Sentence: Reincarnation

>>52883837
>Vicissitude ••••• •••••: Plot Device

That's okay. Caine doesn't mind.

>>52884097
Caine's a total bitch, though. He wouldn't do anything besides mope. Pick a weaker but more dynamic vamp, like Saulot or Ashur, m8.

>>52881397
I lived as a holy paladin who saved the lives of innocent people.

I died to save the world.

>>52883898
>Your in the God of death's domain. She makes the rules here
I usurp her with Mage Supremacy. Removing another Supernatural's powers is a mere Practice of Excision, and it works on everything with the right Arcanum, from lowly Ghosts to Old Gods. Hell, Transfiguration is probably overkill anyway, as Practice of Entities is explicitly able to alter the laws of regions of the Underworld.

I find it very funny that OP has just taken his goddess thingy to be unstoppable.

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>>52884183
>dying to save the world
Why can't you paladins ever die to save some small village no one cares about? Good gracious, what happens the day one of you fails to save the world?

>>52884148
>He wouldn't do anything besides mope.

Actually in the one Gehenna scenario where he definitely shows up, "Fair is Foul", Caine makes a point of showing up during the world-ending catastrophe that Lilith is causing in order to prevent it, all the while grumbling about the fact that everyone else is apparently so incompetent that he has to deal with things himself.

This implies to me that if anything is going to change the world in any drastic way, Caine gets himself involved and prevents it. An archmage trying to unseat the Goddess of Death probably qualifies.

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>>52881397
The enemy had more cannon than we realized and had placed them with better skill than my generals thought due. I was putting my saber to them when the battery they had concealed opened up on my company of cuirassers.

My explanation done, do what you will. I, like an ant would to myself, care not for your doom.

>>52884258
Crucible of God was my favorite because I'm a total fag.

>>52884198
SEE >>52883508

>>52881397
"isn't it your fukken job to know that already without me telling ya? Or is my promise of eternal torment until the day of reckoning embodied by havven to look at you while you ask me stupid fukken questions?"

>>52884253
A. Saving the world saves ALL the villages.
B. The party member being shielded can be the next to save the world.

>>52884258
>An archmage trying to unseat the Goddess of Death probably qualifies.

Caine is in oWOD, my guy is in nWOD. Normally, I would have the Exarchs and other Archmages after me if I went around bullying Gods, but this is a clear case of self defense.

>>52884198
You didn't expect to end up here so you haven't had a chance to research, much less procure, whatever quintessence you'd need for an Imperial working, if you could even land it on what's clearly one of the more powerful Old Gods.

"A mere Practice of Excision"... I swear, new archmages never used to be *this* arrogant. I blame all these whiz kids beelining straight for ascension, the enlightened in my day understood you need to see a bit of the world and spread your arcane experience around so you have some context for what you're rewriting.

I, Gaius Aurelius, am a God of the Sword. Why the hell are you asking me to tell my life's story for judgement?

You aren't hitting on me are you? Don't bother. Yrel and Lorianna would probably murder you in a jealous rage if they thought someone else was trying to get in my trousers.

>>52884324
>Caine is in oWOD, my guy is in nWOD

Hence Vicissitude 10: Plot Device. Caine transmutes himself into nWoD.

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>>52881397
I died fighting a lich who out smartest us, he gave me a choice kill my friends or kill a group of villagers. I chose to strike him instead of fall for his trap and hope my friends could run. Do what you must I have held to my oaths and fear not whatever judgement is to be past.

>>52884507
>>52884295
Sentence: Eternity with the God of their choosing

>>52884356
>>52884320
Sentence: Eternity of torment and suffering

>>52884183
Sentence: Reincarnation

>>52884550
Look here woman. You can't sentence a GOD to an eternity of torment and suffering. Don't make me get Old Man Li on your ass.

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>>52884550
Well, let's see. I scared away a barbarian army by leaving half of their alive and crucified prisoners in their marching path during the daytime, and the night before the battle I set alight the other half of the prisoners and sent them screaming into their camp. I guess after that they figured they'd had enough and most of the men had deserted the barbarian chieftain by dawn.

>>52884569

Sentence stands.


Next

>>52884579
Our records show that you fell down the stairs.

Sober.

Sentence: Reincarnation as a housecat

>>52884601
Yeah sure, lady. Well, I'm bored. I'm gonna go kill some Outsider gods.

>>52884338
>You didn't expect to end up here so you haven't had a chance to research, much less procure, whatever quintessence you'd need for an Imperial working, if you could even land it on what's clearly one of the more powerful Old Gods.
I'll come back later then. What I do have is a way to get out of the Underworld by retreating to the golden road, or, if that doesn't work, using an Artifact that I made and always bring along for these kind of trips that transports the user from the depths of the Underworld to a safe location in the material world. The Paradox hurts like a bitch though.

>>52881397
"Never liked Gods. See when I was a kid, I was kept locked up in a small room, just enough room to pace, Enough room to wear out the floor with some pacing, nearly nothing else. Found out about gods, Prayed to every damn one I knew of to get out. Even you. Nothing. Since that day, I've never prayed to a god in my life. Years passed, I learned how to get out of places I didn't want to be in, mostly on my own, some from my Aunt, our family's Spymaster, who was grooming me to take over for her. At least originally, mum took me and turned me into a Drider. Something in the ritual went pear shaped, I went nuts, started eating family members and fled off into the Underdark. I know it's not SUPPOSED to happen, but the drider form sort of..wore off as I got further and further away from home. Eventually, I came to the surface and freaked the fuck out. You gotta understand, I lived in a dank ass cave my entire life. Light, Shadows, Trees, it was all fucking weird. But fascinating. Thing that fascinated me the most was the Sea. Lady, if ever there was an antithesis of the Underdark, wide open spaces on all sides, light above and below. It was the only place I could stand to be.
I can't actually say how I died. Just that, odds are it was doing something really foolish, for what I hope were the right reasons."

>>52884531
And if I choose none of these gods? I shall not. Let the multitudinous gathering wager for my soul, and give me a misty, pale horse and the keenest saber, I shall not beg 'Pray, let me into your paradise'; you must petition me.

I thought i was the quickest blaster in the outer rim, turns out i was wrong, as the last thing i remember is looking down the barrel of a hold-out after a preticualrly lucrative game of sabac

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>>52881397
>Dying to begin with
Huehuehuehue

>>52883508
Better link this to the CoD general so you can get flooded with posts about just how wrong you are

>>52881397
"My life wasn't anything spectacular. I died because I challenged a dwarf to a drinking contest. Can I just wait around for a few? I'm sure my party is on their way to resurrect me as we speak. If you overlook this, I promise that my death will be much more interesting next time. We're planning to go fight some uppity, klepto-gnomes tomorrow!"

>>52881397
I starved along with a girl. Did she get to the town?

Desert survival is cruel

>>52881397
I managed to take down 217 skeletons, 114 zombies, 3 wraiths, a banshee, 4 ghouls, and finally fell to some modified 10 ft. tall Death Knight with full plate and a tower shield. I'm sorry I couldn't finish the job, that damned lich had a long time to build his army before we find his little hidey-hole.

>>52881397
>embrace your sentence
I guess I write down the following, then hug the paper.
"Filled with curiosity I fell into a slime pit trap without checking the floor."

>"I got into a dance battle with a Force 12 Great Spirit."
>"I know they said his moves were so good it would blow your mind, but not literally lady. Seriously, should've been there to see it."

>>52881397
Ate too many dicks, I reckon

Do you have any settings apart from reincarnation, eternal torment, eternity with god of choice?

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Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>Kenku Bard

Lemme smash

I killed myself in an elaborate ritual to this very moment where my body will become a vessel of eternal piss, shit, and vomit. I will drown the afterlife in putrescence.

>>52887809
So literal shitposting ritual.

Shitrit?
Shrit?

"I've wanted to die for a long time, but now that it's happened I find myself with work left unfinished. If you can send me back just long enough to complete my task, I'll happily accept an eternity of torment in your halls.

I just really need to cockblock that mouthy lesbian"

>>52884507
I remember your thread anon

You did good <3

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>>52881397
I traveled far and wide across the lands of Golarion, seeking the truth of my heritage and carving the swansong of my lost clan in to the annals of history.

I dealt out justice divined by my hand alone, unbound by creed or law. I consorted with dragons, priests, cultists, criminals and the spirits of the dead to further my only goal. By spell and blade I ended many. Man and beast, abomination and undead, deserving and innocent. All my deeds remain unatoned for, and I shoulder that burden willingly.

My only regret is that I stand here as the destined champion of the Serpent of Secrets, the song of my people yet unsung, the serpent unawoken from nightmare.

>>52881397

I was banished for “murdering” thief to the land above and had to live amongst the pink and tall people called humans. Good riddance, those fuck’rs just slaving and rotting away in their mines. It was’n much of a punishment of you ask me.

Up there on the surface world I met this young man, or a boy to be honest. It was cute, him thinking himself a man and all. He showed me the ropes. I protected him in return. We became friends – I would even say brothers aye. Gon’ miss that fuck’er! God damned was he a piss poor mage – but he could fight like the best of em. A true swords master – and perhaps a better warrior than me to be honest. I was the better at messin people up. Him being a pink skin and all. He could even rip a man’s arms of and beat him do death with em! HAHAHA

Sorry, mam – getting a lill of track ere. We traveled the world, took what we needed when we needed it - or in my case; when I wanted it. We fought evil when we saw it, took the treasures when we found them, drank all the bear that could be dranked, ate all the food that could be eaten, we bathed in troll blood – most types of blood to be honest, sometimes blood of good men as well I bet, you should know! I send a load of fuck’rs down to ya after all. You member when we met that time hon? Back when we wandered the lands of the dead looking for some trinket or another to do some elvish trickery? You know, that time I SAVED THE WORLD from that chaos god?

Dying was a bit of a bummer. I drowned in a swamp. Turned out I wasn’t that good a swimmer with full plate armor. I guess that most men aren’t. Especially when being dragged to the bottom by the undead. Whats so freaking hard to keep the dead dead? Isn’t that like yer fucki’n job hon?

All in all. I lived free, I died free, WET, and with friends. My beard cought on fire. I punched some people. I saved the world – and I got drunk.

Was that what ye wanted to hear hon?

>>52881397
Committed Sudoku.

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>>52881397
Well, I slaughtered dozens of villages, kidnapped an Elven Princess for a necromantic ritual, proceeded to raise said Elven Princess as my undead bride, conquer a greater portion of the Dwarven Kingdoms through the raising of their ancestors (Seriously, they bury EVERYONE in the same area. Too easy.)

I scared the piss out of the other kingdom's too, especially when the elves came for revenge and my wife tied down her own living brother in front of his cowed army and, er, that's probably not something to say in polite company.

As it turns out though, dragons are quite effective at killing the Undead. Who knew? And after they tried burning my army out they had the gall to send in some pissant adventurers. Killed all but one of them, and then the epiphany hit me that I'd never actually died. Sure the ritual to become a lich 'kills' you but you never get to see the Afterlife. Figured I might give it a try, so I let him get a good hit in and act like a hero.

Well, this has been fun and all, but I think I hear my phylactery calling. See you soon.

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>>52881397


"When I first began. I was nothing. I possessed no power, no allies, no House. I stood among my people as a nameless face, as a nobody. In time, they learned of my crimson robes. Of my growing power with each kill. I was branded by the High Priestess within the week, her symbol carved into my forehead with a dagger. She foretold that I would become the strongest male in the Underdark. That I would do great and terrible things."

" So I culled the weak. I weened out those unwanted of Lolths favor. Those who acted... oh so Human. Those who fornicated with their Elven Slaves instead of sacrificing them. I murdered dozens. It didn't matter who. Any who would rise to the challenge of questioning me. Any who would call me 'Heretic'. "

"They could never understand. I was a Selvegartlin, a Judicator of Selvetarm. One of two in the History of their encampment. Yet I was never good at Sava. Never one for Politics. My Weapon and Faith spoke for me. I judged those who needed to die. Those who sought superiority in Numbers, or believed I would spare them for their looks over their weakness."

" I looked after my own House of course. I did what was... Correct. For its members. I looked after my own close allies of Faith. Even when i was oh so close to sacrifice myself. When the Church itself questioned my motives. I stood beside my brethren. I never broke. I never swayed. Selvetarm taught us brotherhood; Valor through combat. Honor through Death. Lolth taught her children to backstab and kill. To betray their own blood."

" In the end, I killed the Elonus, The "God Eater' they called it. A Demi-god who was imprisoned within my closest 'Ally'. I saved all of those who questioned me. I saved the camp. Yet I never received a simple thanks, or a not of the head. I never expected such. "

" They were fools. All of them. Yet they will remember me through the physical and emotional scars I created in my time there. "

"Judge me as you will."

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>>52881397

All I can say is that I lived as I died : dissatisfied, drinking coffee, and smoking quite a lot.

So many things I could have done. So many things to share, to write and draw.

And there's this sweetheart that I left behind, who's heart I broke for good. Even though she said that I'm forgiven, I'm sure she never would have given me a second chance.
Too much time had past, and she moved on for someone else. But maybe I should have tried a little harder, to win her back ? No, no way. Who am I even joking.
And the worst in this whole mess, is that I'm the only one to blame.
At least she's happy, that's all that matters.

Too much sadness in my heart. And so many regrets.

I like your tiger, by the way. Mind if I pet him, before my judgment ?

>>52883327
>>52884198
>>52884728
M8 souls (might) go to the Supernal Realm after death in the setting. An Archmaster is still weaker than an ascended Supernal god of death. Nice go at blowing your chance at possibly ascending after death.

Also, your chantry is broken off and not connected to the supernal world anymore after your death.

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>>52881397
My people were banished from hell due to mistakes made during the Great Fiend War. I, one of the last remaining nobles and descendants of the survivors slaughtered the rest of my family for their incompetence and set out to find a way back to hell where none had succeeded.

I met with a group of foolhardy peasants and uncovered the truth of a murder, recovered some of warrior-slaves belonging to my family and fought back a fey invasion using objects of Power and subterfuge.

In the end, Guided by the knowledge of Ioun... I made it back to hell, slaughtered the rest of the faux-nobles in their seats of power and was in turn, betrayed by the party of peasants that I had grouped with. One in particular served the final blow, a fellow tiefling. I never really trusted her and we never got along, I should have killed her, but her peasant lover, the "bard" got in the way.

>>52881397
It was just banter, lad.

Killed by ghouls while trying to save a foolish thief in over her head. Over all our heads, really.

>>52881397

>I can't seem to recall. I set off from my home plane to find a new, less madness-inducing home for my family after grandpa Nykur started thinking he was a jar of thermite. I found a lot of good worlds, but each one had some subtle failing that i couldn't approve of.
>In the end, i do seem to recall i ended up forgetting i'd already lost 8 of my 9 hearts when i body blocked an arrow headed for our cleric.
>Either way, i doubt i'll be permitted to stay here for long, our cleric seems to always resurrect me first for some reason. Heh. I swear, if i didn't know better, i'd think she was attracted to me!
>Anyway, i'd like to formally apologize for wasting your without a doubt precious time, and, uh...here. If you ever need some help with something beyond your power, my party is lways up for a challenge.
>Oh, looks like she's calling me already. MY apologies.
>Yes, darlin-

>>52881397
All I wanted was immortality, to ressurect my old friends and to exterminate the elves.

My organic body died when my brain was vivisected to insert the electrodes necessary for downloading my personality out of it. I should have ended up in the CPU of the specially prepared robotic body. What am I doing here?

>>52884728

You're dead. That artifact is on your corpse, wherever that is. You ever hear the phrase 'you cant bring it with you'?

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>>52881397
>"My name is Milo Whistlewheat. I grew up learning songs from travelers and helping my five siblings with the housework. When I took to the road, I decided to investigate an ancient ruin - an emerald spire where strange and wonderful things lurked. I died with companions I had only recently met, a song on my lips and a sword through my lung. It was a short life, but mostly a peaceful one."

>>52881585
>Infinite punishment for finite wrong doing
>Infinite punishment for petty shit
Welp, time to kill a clearly evil goddess.

>>52881397
Fuck off, demon. You have no right to judge me. My soul goes to Gorm. I will give the account of my life to Crone, Gorm's servant, at the gates of Gormontontr. Crone will judge me, not you. It is written.

Would prefer eternal non-existence desu senpai.

Death caused by a magical experiment to combine an elemental and mortal into a single form. The experiment in question went on to burn the country side. A success, if not for my demise!

>>52897706
Based on what the punishments were for, I'd say petty over evil. You know, like MOST gods.

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I got ensnared by a voodoo'd cell phone game, and then involved in a fender-bender.

Unfortunately, I wasn't in a car at the time.

>>52881397
Well, I died in a suicide specifically to meet you and admire your alleged divine beauty that everyone is raving on about back in the living world, but looking at you know, I fail to see the appeal.
That little goddess in the distance looks cute, though. Who is she? I'd like to know more about her.

>>52881471
This is some purebred autism.

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>>52881397
Who are you wench and why aren't I in front of my creator ?

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>>52881397
"I was, or perhaps I should say am, a Disciple of Her Grace and sworn servant of the Light, and I fell saving a local cluster of realities from falling to the fell powers of Evil. Countless myriad abominations of all forms surging forward to devour the breath of life, and my fellow Disciples and I stood to hold back the surging tides of the Dark, all whilst the so called "gods" of that reality cluster screamed and shrieked in terror. I stood against more horrors than could ever be named, and I fought them back. Indeed, it was by the power of the Light that my companions and I fought off the hordes, and charged towards the center of the demonic forces. There we faced the source of the Evil plaguing this part of Creation, a terror without form or name, something that could unmake even gods with the merest brushing of it's many vile limbs against the crystalline shell of their domains. We slew the fiend, but not before it cast a final curse with it's dying breaths. My physical form collapsed, and my eternal spirit forged by the Light, and molded by the arms of Her Majesty made it's way here.

Judge me as you will, dear lady. But know that I regret not what I have done in my quest for the protection of existence, and that I shall stand in the defense of all the people who inhabit the length and breadth of Creation. I shall always return to protect the people of all realms, not even a thousand deaths could stop that."

>>52881397
It would definitely be my Skyrim character. As a middle aged man he dies in the arms of the love of his life, Zora, due to wounds he sustained fighting a sabre cat. He had ventured the length and breath of the wild with lady Fair-Child but as they aged felt they needed to settle down. They rebuild a small ruined farm near the Western Watchtower. They live a little of what normal crops they cultivate and game they hunt around the plains. As the years pass by a little girl is born to them and with it the dream of Zora's field is re-ignited. My character is attack seeding the fields behind the house with tundra cotton. He was not armed with more then a shovel but still faces the beast as he shouts that there is a sabercat to warn his family. Zora comes running with her old greatsword in tow but when she finds him and fights off the creature it is already to late. Of this my character would tell the gods. He lived a good life and died for his family, building a dream for them.

>>52894732
>What I do have is a way to get out of the Underworld
Reading comprehension. Practice of Excision, Death, explicitly makes you immortal. My character regularly explores the depths of the Underworld for insights, quintessence, and possible deals with the locals.
This time around, the locals decided to be dicks.

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>>52881397
Well lady; the last thing I saw was a Hierophant charging over the hill.

This is the God Emperor's table, right?

>>52899385
Well you're dead now so presumably someone used a Practise of Entities spell to give you back mortality. Alternatively, someone travelled back in time to kill before you Excised death from yourself.

>>52899010
>In the distance you see the other Gods gathered, waiting.

Reading comprehension. Presumably, this is just an angel or something before hand.

Ah. So this is probably about the fifty or so times I've cheated death and risen from the grave as a pumpkin-headed pyromancer-zombie, isn't it?? Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Most of you stick-in-the-mud psychopomps aren't big fans of my whole Peace and Love, Eternal Life and Love plans. I've heard all the lectures and threats, believe me man. But, like, my good buddy Saif's got this scroll I made, and we've only got, like, five minutes tops before he cracks that thing open and raises me back from the dead once more, so if we could just skip the lectures this time, that'd be great, 'cause I ain't letting The Man take my soul, ya know??

(I may or may not be currently playing a necromancer hippie)

>>52881397
I died at the hands of my own party as my many months of traveling the lands as a cleric of a god that I had invented to acquire wealth and to prove to my former paladin lady friend that blind faith can be dangerous. With hidden wands of cure wounds I preformed "healing miracles" on peasants and the faith of the people I had healed and the bystanders who observed my miracles or heard my preaching manifested the god and I became an actual cleric. The discovery that my faith was false and that I was in reality a rogue who tricked them all and was now becoming the avatar of a new god the party banded together to stop my rise.

>>52881397
Can I go back in time as a cool animated suit of armor to fight evil or something?

>>52881397
Cask like big kitty. Can Cask pet big kitty?

Oh. Cask sorry, Cask answer question now. Cask made out of metal by nice old man who want destroy world, but says Cask "Too stupid to be evil". Then old man choke on spoon. Sad day.

Cask find friends and help people, and find big town fighting demons so Cask help town fight demons. Cask charge into battle against demons...that last thing Cask remember.

Aawwww, kitty so cute...what kitty's name?

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>>52902568
Sometimes the simplest characters are the best.

>>52881397
>I shall judge you

Not your job bitch.

>>52898939
I'm sorry your characters have no existence beyond their character sheet and you've never considered what they might do when not killing monsters and taking their stuff, or planning to do such.

Not all people play characters like that, though. More to the point, sometimes opportunities arise in games that shouldn't be dealt with in the games themselves, since you don't want to hog the spotlight from other players or spring a left turn on the DM since it might not otherwise fit the tone or pacing of the campaign.

Such as, for example, what your character's spirit might do during the 24-ish hours between dying and being raised from the dead. When that happens, I like to fill in the blanks myself. Makes for a more complete character.

Plus it only took me, like, two hours to write, spread out over as many days.

>>52906121
She's the goddess of death and judgement, dude. It's a full half of her job description.

"The name's Fafnir the Enduring. And I'm not dead. I'm just here to kill yah and take your shit. Sup bitch"

>>52881397
Ask her if I can stand off to the side and watch what happens to the next couple of misogynists.

If yes, does she have popcorn?

>>52906167
She's not MY god of judgement. Gorm does not look like that.

She's a demon putting on airs, and subverting the rightful order. She can either fuck off or die. Either way works.

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>which character is standing before the Goddess
My cybernetically ressurected murder cyborg
>and how did he die?
Belatedly

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>>52881397
I thought I could make that jump..

>>52881397
"Oh, I'm just passing through. Got sworn to Freya as a holy sorcerer pretty early, and I've for a reserved seat in Folkvangr. Would you like a sweater or some cake before I go? I have plenty."

I-i-i'm a g-god! ok l-lady... I don't have to p-p-ut up with this *spaghetti spills out of my edgy costume*

Vecna worshiping necromancer deep gnome, probably died of a superior foe in the endless backstabbing web of betrayals that is the underdark.

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>>52881397
dice+1d100

YOU HOLD NO POWER OVER ME, XENOS WITCH OF THE IMMATERIUM

FACE THE HOLY FIRE OF THE ASTARTES

>>52908394
FUCK MY HANDS CANNOT ROLL DICE

>>52881397
My last character, an engineer turned combat pilot

How did I live? Trying to convince myself that anything I did I couldn't live with was done so that others wouldn't do far worse to innocents.

How did I die? I went back into the fight to make sure even if I had seen a world damned by my failures, I had done everything possible to save my family.

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>>52881397
I lived on the deal, and died on my first. I started as a city sheriff but would become a secret police spy master, a captain of wartime industry, and friend of the Golden Leaf Society (!Illuminati). I have raised 20 children, 19 adopted. I was killed by a woman I scorned 60 years ago. I promised that should she allow me to guard my family to my old age I would allow her revenge. And so I appear before you with a pound of buckshot in my head.

>>52897706
>>Infinite punishment for petty shit
Welcome to Gods 101, enjoy your stay

>>52881397
>Tell us, about your life, and and how you died, and embrace your sentence.
Eternal suffering and torment.

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>is essentially his own realms incarnation of death in the form of a shitty little rat skeleton

He probably awkwardly coughs and asks for the exit before discussion the weather.

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>>52881397
> So, adventurer, you met your fate in life. I shall judge your life and send you to your reward in death

>implying
Don't Stop Me Now starts crescendoing in the background, while the character fades away from the realm of the dead, returning back to life.
The only thing he says to the Goddess is "Hold the phone, I'm not done yet."

>Died in a dance-off with the Idea of Destiny.
>It was a poor loser.

>>52909566
What DM let you play as death of rats and how can I become as based as he?

>>52910767
Known him for years now, asked me and a couple of friends if we wanted to stress test out a new DnD setting for him that he had made, a year 20 lvl and four mythic tiers later the party is on the fast track to becoming the Four Horseman with all the god tier bull one has to put up with.

My shitty rat skeleton lich is finally starting up a cult to worship him.

>>52883327
>Playing Mage the Awakening
Eternal torment would be a step up.

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>>52881397
He's a human fighter. And he fucked her mother last night.