What is the worst fantasy/sci-fi book you've ever read?

Orcs

>>52801712
No way I love starwars

Worldwar series by Harry Turtledove, fuck that man could make any idea boring.

Probably the Posleen War series for sci-fi. Funnily enough I did like one of the spin-off books about one of the aliens (the ones who can't kill) but I don't remember the name. To this day I consider it the only tolerable book John Ringo has written.

Fantasy would probably be Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter, if it counts, couldn't make it through one book. Fuck whoever recommended it to me.

>>52801712
The one you posted, OP-

>>52801718
... well shit, this one was really bad too.

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>>52801712
The Undying Wizard.

I would read the whole Eragon series rather than that book again.
Literally the only fiction book I ever intentionally stopped reading.
When I picked it back up several years later, I had more patience.
But still...

"Excrescences of horripilation."
Both a quote from the book and my review of it.

>>52801712
Probably the Heritage of Shannara series, minus the druid book which was kinda enjoyable.

>>52801760
Sounds like Terry Brooks.

>>52801712
I've read a couple pages of this from the books of people sitting next to me on the train. Easily the second shittiest thing I've read and the absolute worst that was printed in a sensible font.

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>>52801896
You knew those people, right?

>>52801800
> CREATOR OF CONAN ROBERT E HOWARD'S OTHER GREAT HERO CORMAC MAC ART
> THE UNDYING WIZARD
> ANDREW J. OFFUTT

That's a lot to decipher.

Planet of the GAWFs wasn't great, but still kinda fun.

Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard.
Worst book ever by someone who could afford a ghost writer. The actual writing down words part was adequate, but 70's cartoons had better thought out stories.

There is a rule somewhere that the more made up words are in the title, the worse the book is.

Shannara books, the first was ....ok. After that, lame snoring.
The Xanth books quickly tuned horrid. probably the worst series that I read too many of.

There should be categories:
Worst ever made into a movie
Worst series that kept getting written
Worst book written by an published author who should know better.
A struggling writers first book should be given a little slack.

Caliphate. I don't even care about the politics, the writing was just laughably bad.

>>52801712
Everything by Mercedes Lackey. I do not believe that I will ever find a more rancid, stale, shallow, self-righteous and schizophrenic body of work. She is absolutely the worst fantasy author ever.

>>52801712
Well, I have read more mediocre stuff that truly shitty stuff, but I'm easy to please.
Still, I guess it would be between Eragon, Shannara or Ewilan. But I may have banned some books from my memories.

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>>52801817
Never actually read any of Terry Brooks, but if he's as bad as Harry Turtledove I'll make sure not to.
The bloke makes aliens invading during ww2 into such a boring snooze fest I'm actually impressed.

>>52802011
No.

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>>52801712
Btw, was there anyone who couldn't stomach reading pic related anymore after it turned into magical sex adventures with succubus fairy or whatever she was?

I mean I really fucking loved the books up until that point, think the worldbuilding is fantastic and love the magic system, but alas, once it got there... I kind of lost interest. It's sad that I read through a book and half in two days and now its just sitting on my shelf, untouched for about 3 years.

>>52801712
Unfortunately, I read Eragon when I was 12 and had shit taste. I know it's bad, but now nostalgia stops me from giving it the hate it deserves.

Except for the last book. That was a shit smoothie, even through nostalgia goggles.

>>52801712
Space Wolf by William King, hands down.

>>52802022
In hindsight, it's clearly a warning.

The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind. Most Mary Sue protagonist that ever existed

>>52802086
>I mean I really fucking loved the books up until that point
puking loli.png

It's not the worst I've ever read, but seriously.

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>>52801896
>>52802084
topkek, what an autist

>>52802086
Came here to post this

Fucking Kvothe

>>52801794
Any particular reason? I mean besides all of the characters being fairly boring caricatures?

>>52802101
Ragnar's Claw was a hundred times worse.

- "The hood, like a sail filled with the wind, was inflated by the brains splattered into it"

A quote from the book and a natural consequence of reading it.

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>>52802125
>constantly lauds Kahlan as so intelligent and wise
>literally everything she says is ignorant, uninspired, and just plain wrong in every situation

One of the Gor titles I guess
Decidedly unsexy

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>>52802131
I've got you covered, fampai

But yeah, I've never had any luck with fantasy books. I've read so many dreadful stuff that, trust me, it makes Kingkiller seem amazing in comparison.
On that topic, can anyone recommend anything worth a read?

>>52802093
ah Inheritance, when the author spent the last book tying up most of the story threads and so can just faf about in self indulgence.

>>52802178
Chronicles of Amber.

>>52802178
Jim Butchers Codex Alera is a nice read

>>52802058
Hah, I was gonna post to say that The Black Gryphon is the worst fantasy book I've ever read.

The two main plot arcs are "gryphons that are sentient constructs of THE GOOD WIZARD who is at war with the BAD WIZARD demand their reproductive rights!" And "Amberdrake is a paradox - a ripped beefcake with strong hands who's also a long haired bishie! Along with his lizard house-nigger (don't worry, his species has an inborn compulsion towards secretarial work seriously, he uses the power of massage therapy and literally being a man-whore to melt the icy heart of Winterhart, who though she is a STRONG WOMAN, is a mean stinky fash bigot who just views Gryphons as weapons! Oh well, it's just because she's in an abusive relationship (because all the officers in THE GOOD WIZARD'S army fuck each other, canonically) abd has a slipped disc from being thrown by a Gryphon! Nothing that Amberdrake's training as a kestra'chern, which combines the duties of magic healer, masseuse, and fuccboi can't cure!"

It's just... horrible shitty shalllw contemporary fantasy with a massive sloppy vagina, written by what I can only assume is what fat Wiccan high school girls eventually metamorphose into.

>>52802125
This. Whole series is just a test to see how long the reader can stand the protagonist being a massive asshole and still getting treated as the biggest hero the world could ever hope to have.

I still can't believe that shitshow managed to get a TV series based on it.

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Easily this load of piss.

>>52802178
With a single spell and everything in that setting is great. I assume you know that Pratchett is great. Warbreaker was interesting, and worth reading.

Joe Abercrombie's First Law series is great, though it is mostly LotR fantasy were magic is rare but powerful. I would almost class it in the same genre of GoT, but it is significantly better.

Obviously the Connan series is great, at least the few I have read. If you like more modern fantasy, and possibly even if you don't, the Cabal the Necromancer series is pretty great.

If you can stand "coming of age" stories, the nightangel series is pretty great as is the dark prism series by the same author. The latter largely for the magic system.

>>52802178
Sabriel or just the Abhorsen series in general, great magic system, great world building, great story. Don't touch the 4th book though, it's piping hot shit.

>>52802178
Fritz Lieber's short stories about Fafhrd and The Grey Mouser.

More on the end of pulp sword and sorcery than contemporary high fantasy, but that's one of the reasons I'm recommending it to you. Contemporary high fantasy is universally unreadable garbage.

Anyway, Fritz uses language in a joyous, playful way, his stories are more often than not humorous, Terry Pratchett is directly homaging Fritz's city of Lankhmar with Ankh-Morpork, Fafhrd and The Grey Mouser are endearing, the stories are cozy and episodic. You'll laugh, there will be a breddy gud episode of dungeoneering, and then the boys will set off for wine, whores, and their next adventure.

>>52801712
The Book of Mormon.

I couldn't even get past the first page without wanting to throw it halfway across the room into the fireplace.

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>>52802276
>Tfw Sabriel goes full tsundere in the bathtub

>>52802178
Keys to the Kingdom is hilariously silly and over the top in a fantastic way.

>>52802093
are you me? except I was 17 and had not excuse for my shit taste.

>>52802228
Wow, all those memories are coming back to hit me full force. And I *still* don't think The Black Gryphon was the worst book she wrote, although it certainly is a microcosm of all the things wrong with her stories. The later books in the gryphon series were the ones that actually made me angry, though.

I actually used to be somewhat forgiving toward her, because I assumed she was some teen whose parents paid to have her shit published, but now that I've looked her up, I realize that she was in her late 30's when she started writing. And her morals still change with every fucking book! The only message that remains constant throughout all her books (of which I have experienced depressingly many), is that it's perfectly fine to murder anyone she doesn't agree with.

Skimming the thread...
>>52802187
>Chronicles of Amber.
What the fu-
>>52802178
>On that topic, can anyone recommend anything worth a read?
Oh, okay then.
For a moment there, I thought Wayne Brady was gonna have to choke a bitch.

>>52802125
Oh sweet fucking Jesus that shit was bad. The writing style, the characters, the setting, the story everything about those door stoppers was bad.

And people bought it by the million. And it got a TV series. Why? How?

>>52802187
I must disagree. I got my hand on those books last year, and they were the most 5/10 thing I have ever read.

Admittedly, that's still better than most fantasy...

>>52802321
waifus

>>52802302
>Tfw Sabriel goes full tsundere in the bathtub
when was this? Did I miss it?

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>>52802321
>And it got a TV series. Why? How?
Something to do with sexy lesbian dominiatrix assassins I guess

>>52802276
>Abhorsen
Seriously in the running for worst fantasy ever. I gave up halfway through the first book, even though it was an audio book, and even though it was voiced by fucking Tim Curry.

The entire book was: problem comes out of nowhere, magical solution comes out of nowhere, rinse, repeat.

>>52802316
All I remember from the White Gryphon was the sadomasochistic serial rapist who it was obvious Lackey was flicking her rancid bean to because of her obvious tendencies towards dominant men. Like seriously I don't even remember what they were DOING in the book other than establishing their new genderqueer seaside cliff utopia or whatever.

>>52802353
>Tim Curry
Where is this anon? Did you have to pay for it? can you link it?

>>52802125
I remember the first book starting out all right, and then devolving into a hundred page bdsm sequence. I did not continue reading after the first book.

>>52802347
When they get to the Inn at the city and she gets in bathtub, then hears the person in the room beside hers getting a bit lewd with one of the maids, and she think's it's the dude.

The cat then comes in and points out that the guy's room is the one on the other side, likely with a shit-eating grin on his face.

>>52802353
Wait, what? You mean Sabriel, right? Because her not actually being able to solve the big problems is a bit of a theme.

>>52802355
The white gryphon triggered the fuck out of me. It starts with this long speech on how 1. when children are sent out on missions and die or disappear, we don't go to save them, and 2. how the king sends out his son to do this, and how he's gonna be the same as everyone else, how he knows the danger and how he's not gonna send anyone for his son if the kid disappears.

This is treated as right and just, and everyone admires the king for his strength of will and discipline. Obviously, the king's son goes missing. He responds to this by immediately threatening to murder all of his best friends unless they change the law and send out everything they have to go save the little shit. This is treated as right and just, and everyone admires the king for the strength of his love for his son. Even the best friends who he, again, threatened to murder (and they made it obvious that he meant it), think that all of this is totally fine, and don't bear the slightest grudge for it.

That was the worst part. Everything else was also bad, including the weak-ass, clichéd torture villain you mentioned.

Actually, that's one of the worst part of the Valdemar books in general, that if you're "good" you get a bunch of magic for free, you get slaves both mortal and elemental, and even if you break all your oaths and go on a murderous rampage, it's still okay because you're one of the good guys.

If you're "evil", though? Your magic just disappears. There's never any challenge for the good guys, because in every single book they're already set up to be vastly superior to the antagonists in every way.

>>52802377
I wish I had done what you did. I got as far as book 4. I kept expecting it to turn good at some point. I was foolish. The books were shredded and used by birds to make their nests.

>>52802125
Never read, so I went wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Sword_of_Truth_characters#Kahlan_Amnell

>[..]She has a kind and generous soul, remarkable for its resolution and devotion to her people, but only the brutal Mord-Sith have less pity for their enemies than does the Mother Confessor.[..]

>[..]She fearlessly leads them in the night while painted with white paint, and completely naked, and they are able to deal serious damage the Order's numbers. She is an extremely modest person[..]

>[..]When she returns from the initial fight, she leads the captain to believe that she was not really of any assistance in battle. Captain Bradley Ryan caught her in a lie[..]

DAFUK

>>52802421
was book 4 where he is in communistan and aids them via randian objectivism?

>>52802433
Wait till you get to the bit about the Ultimate Evil Chicken.

>>52802374
Don't remember where I got it.

Turns out I still have the whole series, though. Even though I hated it, I can't say no to a fellow Tim Curry fan. I'll see about uploading it somewhere.

>>52802390
I don't remember the details. All I know is I was bored out of my skull within a few chapters.

>>52802411
I like that you're offended by her shallow and hypocritical morality. I like that THAT pisses you off, more than the cringing elements that make it very clear the books are written by a sex-starved middle-aged woman with an obsession for new-age Wiccan hippy-dippery. That shit triggers the shit outta me.

>>52802178
PI Garrett is some decent stuff if you like hard boiled detectives, fantasy races, and magic and shit. Also same author as The Black Company which is way grittier faire that even has its own RPG book.

>>52802468
It was years ago when I read it and they're all blurring together into on shit BDSM singularity. I think it was the one with the magical plague.

>>52802433
I mean, again:

>Zedd's wizard powers are restricted to the additive side of magic and as a result, he is limited to adding to elements that are already present in the world (i.e. he can change one coin into 10 coins). He cannot negate elements; for example, he cannot make a coin disappear into true nothing; he can only move it to another location thereby making the coin only appear to disappear.

Emphasis on RESTRICTED
Completely balanced for a protagonist.

Or the hero:
>spent most of his life in the woods so that he would know ALL the plants by name or by sight.
>quoted by several women in the books that he is the most handsome man they have ever seen

Every time I read it, I get the whole OC-vibe

>>52802374
This.
There are certain voices that are worth hearing awful things said by them.
Tim Curry is such a voice.
Not sure I could listen to a whole book, but I might attempt it.

I once saw Christopher Walken reading Mama June quotes.
It was marvelously insane.
I might have watched that show.

>>52802349
Any sexiness that might have bee evinced by that was lost by how fucking lame and retarded it was.

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>>52802171

>>52802178

Discwordl is always an option anon.

Alright Anons, this seems like a good enough thread to get it out there. I want to write a book, a High Fantasy one to be precise, and I want to get the main points down pat first.

>Typical races with Humans, Elves, Orcs, etc.
>Elves and Dwarves are barely ever seen by humans, dwarves are only mentioned in the first while elves do have important roles
>Orcs are populous like humans, only geographically cut off a bit, though they're the two most commonly seen in human towns
>Races don't particularly hate each other, and tend to deal with their own issues by themselves, outside of some rare occasions.

>Elves all live high up in the mountains, lots to do with Lightning and Storms, lots of magic, led by demigods made by their Pantheon using the souls of great Elven heroes, a bit of Norse influence with Einherjar and Valkyries. Low-tech
>Dwarves are extremely secluded and almost always underground, no magic at all bu they utilize more conventional technology mixed with chemistry to make up for not having magic
>Orcs are all warring clans in plains and swamps, over usual resources and land, though it rarely spills out onto non-Orc lands. Lots of traditions, losing clans will typically be absorbed by the winners, though some will split off to become mercenaries or form their own clans.
>Humans are the most adaptable when it comes to magic, largest Pantheon of gods, and a solid hold on traditional resources, most populous race.

Back to the drawing board or should I go on?

>>52802623
sounds okay. What is your plotline?

My NaNoWriMo entry

>>52802480
Don't get me wrong, I hated that part too, just not as much. Her story structure, foreshadowing, characterization and so on are also awful, but not as fun to rant about.

>>52802591
>ZIPPERS
>I
>P
>P
>E
>R
>S

The visible not even a token effort to hide them zips on the costumes trigger the ever loving shit out of me.

>>52802660
One of my first excursions into fantasy as a kid was Tamora Pierce. Specifically, her series "The Immortals Quartet". Made a big impression on me as a kid.

Thinking back to what I remember, I'm so scared that if I ever re-read them, it'll turn out like Mercedes Lackey. I think just back then I was too young to tell.

At the very least, the protagonist is a massive Sue.

>>52802681
I loved the magic circle by here. I read it twice once when I was 13 once when I was 16 and I think it held up then. Whether it would hold up now is a different story

>>52802637
Paladin for the human God of Death (Typically Lawful Neutral, agents are typically called Shade Knights) goes rogue and begins slaughtering villages, one of which is the main character's who's a child at that time. He survives by hiding away, only for an Elven Warband to show up as he crawls out of his hole, led by one of their Demigods. He's blessed by her and told where to go to be safe (A neighboring village) as the elves resume chasing the Shade Knight. Years pass and the Shade Knight's antics have stopped for a time, only for him to suddenly reappear with an army of orcs, and a group of undead.

The Protagonist then gets involved in a group of soldiers trying to track down the Shade Knight and put an end to things, though the Elves get involved once more and it turns out the SK has a lot more going on that he's hiding from the world.

>>52802228
>written by what I can only assume is what fat Wiccan high school girls eventually metamorphose into.
My fuking sides

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>>52801712

>>52802790
Isn't that the game with "Hunts-in-Packs" or whatever that blatant OC wolf-woman thing was called?

>>52802681
I have similar fears about my childhood fantasy loves.

>>52802623
Buddy, this isn't worldbuilding general. Most readers don't give a fuck about what your setting is like, they wanna know what the *story* is like.

>>52802187
>>52802201
>>52802275
>>52802276
>>52802278
>>52802302
>>52802495
>>52802620
>All these recs
You're all too kind, anons. Damn, there's so much interesting stuff I don't even know where to begin. I know I'll be buying some books real soon.

>>52801712
The first was just star wars. Not great, but not offensively bad. The rest was trash though.

I will say that the parts that follow the cousin Roran are actually pretty good. A normal man beating the ever loving fuck out of monsters and magicians with a hammer. Sure he has magic boosts from others at times, but it's mostly him. The scene where he makes a wall of bodies to force a choke point? Kinda neat

>>52801712
free the darkness.
Got the audiobook recently due to good reviews and a seemingly interesting premise (the lone hero raised to be a warrior actually turns into a 'sperger due to lack of social contact), and Jesus Christ it was awful.
Without hyperbole, it contains the single worst Mary Sue I've ever seen in literature.
Yes, that includes Eragon.

Every single character bar one, who later comes round, is divided into three categories
1) character to fawn over the MC
2) character to be effortlessly humiliated by the MC
3) Character to be a cheerleader for the MC
ONE character in the entire book ever gives him pause, fucking one. Even he gets promptly worked around.
Every single token flaw is ignored when it could cause inconvenience.
For example, as mentioned earlier, he was supposed to barely understand social interaction, but then he pulls a mastery of mercantile and economic knowledge out of his ass to take over and manipulate a criminal gang.

I know a title like Free the Darkness was a massive red flag, but I expected funny campy edge, not the author masturbating in my face for hours on end.
It took me months to buy a book after that, and even then I had to cross check it endlessly.

>>52802827
>A normal man beating the ever loving fuck out of monsters and magicians with a hammer.
I'm surprised. Most of /tg/ seems to explode in fits of rage if you imply that a martial character does anything superhumanly badass.

>>52802178
I enjoyed everything by Brandon Sanderson. Give Mistborn or Elantris a shot

I present to you, Tim Curry: https://ufile.io/vzuxr

>>52802086
100% agree. The last half felt like bad eroticism written by a 13 year old boy.

God, I almost hope he never releases the third one, especially after his piece of shit novella.

>>52801718
The Orcs was horrible but I think it's my number two.

"Die Bedrohung" - "The Threat"? by Wolfgang Hohlbein was worse.

>>52802374
Series should be on Audible.
Curry's voicing of the undead in particular is absolutely God Tier; you feel like his larynx is actually rotting during it

>>52801712
Eragon was okay. Not amazing, but okay.

Everything after that devolved into shit. Showing that anyone can produce even one passable book with a good editor and passion.

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>>52802178
Don't mind me, just posting one of the best YA Fantasy series out there, that's aged pretty well regardless.

Don't know how the anime was, though.

>>52803078
It was pretty autistic "COLLECT THE MAGIC GEMS EACH WITH THEIR OWN POWERRRR" but breddy gud nonetheless.

Had an artbook as a kid from a book fair that was a catalogue of all the monsters - definitely liked that one.

>>52802125
Came here to post this. It's a fucking terrible book -- wait a second
>>52802229
It got a fucking TV series? What? How?

>>52802178
>can anyone recommend anything worth a read?
Red Rising trilogy is amazing.

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>>52803106
>It got a fucking TV series? What? How?
Legend of the Seeker, anon
Only ran for two seasons

>>52802316
I only read one of hers, and I also found the "slavery and genocide are just dandy if you're Good" thing fucking horrifying.

>>52802178
The black company series is pretty good. Covers a band of mercs from the POV of the company annals- medium fantasy I think- mages and magic stuff exist, but they really aren't that common.

>>52802884
Warbreaker is my favorite of his.

>>52802187
Fuck you
>tfw I will never be a shadow shifting Trump card communicating Prince of Amber or Chaos

The Eye of Argon

>>52803169
Wish he had finished them.

>>52802178
Scott Lynch- the Lies of Locke Lamora

>>52803128
Hahaha oh wow

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>>52803105
I mean this looks pretty alright. I wonder if it had the scene with the Rippers.

>>52802178
Discworld is always good for a fun read. The later books sadly got a bit preachy, but given circumstances that's forgivable.

Powder Mage trilogy and Temeraire series for fantasy Peninsular war with wizards/pissed gods and dragons respectively

Way of Kings for doorstopper with good worldbuilding and some characters that take a bit of getting used to. The MC being a moody cunt is actually treated as a bad thing, for example, even if he has good reasons.

Alex Verus series for Urban Fantasy with a low powered hero in a high power world.

Traitor Son cycle, but only if you drop it after book 2, since it quickly goes into sadly wasted potential.
Same with the Gentleman Bastards series.

>>52801712
>What is the worst fantasy/sci-fi book you've ever read?
If you judge by the number of times I've tried to read a book, but failed to get through it, The Two Towers holds the record at three. It's the worst because if it were worse, I wouldn't have kept trying to read it, and that would be better.

>>52802495
>The Black Company has its own RPG book
This is my favorite series of all time. Thank you for revealing this to me.

>>52803078
I liked it as a kid but I don't think I'll reread it as an adult. Didn't know there was an anime either. I'm just discovering all sorts of things today.

>>52802928
I have this problem that I have to finish book series even if they're terrible. I want him to publish the book so I can get it out of my system.

The worst series I've ever read is Eragon. That is the only series I've ever had to stop reading midway through because it was so bad.

>>52802093
>let me spend a chapter telling you how much I know about smithing, bet you're impressed, huh?

>>52803128
Mass Effect Andromeda, but in real life

Snow Crash. A book of cool shit happening with no resolution does not make a cool book.

>>52802093
Did anyone else read the second book and just skip the Eragon chapters, and realise that that actually made a more coherent and intriguing story?

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>>52801712
>Be me.
>Have a completely autistic habit of finishing a book series.
>No matter what.
>Pick up Sword of Truth series.
>Hey this starts off as OK.
>Awesome bdsm.
>Ok so Richard Rahl belongs to a bloodline of powerful sorcerers or something and the first bad guy is his brother

>Ok now, it's becoming political at this point.
>There sure is a lot of rapes in this series.
>Oh wow, the main character becomes this sort of worshipped hero by an entire nation, and his philosophy- no religion- is ABSOLUTE OBJECTIVITY imbued to him by a fucking sword.

>Further rapes
>Rape by proxy.
>Harry Potteresque Meme Magic School except its run by BDSM nuns.
>Lame Cold War Communism & Objective Reality analogy.

>MORE
>RAPES.
>OMG DID THE MAIN CHARACTERS COMMIT WAR CRIMES? THEY LITERALLY TORTURED THAT ONE SOLDIER JUST BECAUSE HE RAPED KAHLAN VIA THE MAGIC SENSE-LINK THE MONICA BELLUCI CHARACTER WHO KIDNAPPED RICHARD RAHL HAD.

I rode that series like a doomed Kamikaze plane.

>>52803078
The anime varied from "not too bad" to "kill me please".

>>52802093
I enjoyed it. Fuck you guys.

>>52803622
Nothing can top the Author engineering a situation where he can cheerfully massacre pacifists and feel smug about it.

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Oh, the Faerie War was a pretty bad series.

> Be me
> Wiki it to make sure you spelled the name right
> Sees that the series is still running
> Ohgodwhy.jpg

>>52802618
Fucking hilarious.

>>52803658
He even copied- word, for word- the chants of Vietnam War hippies, and then they were killed by a magical napalm, and all Richard had to say about that is "hurdurr serves them right for choosing not to fight a war they have no stake in, now let me tend to my beat up girlfriend."

>>52803653
Hey, I enjoyed it too! Just because it's bad, doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. I also enjoy modern 40k, D&D, and GURPS. They all have major major major major major flaws, but I still like them.

Because I have shit taste, and am fine with that.

>>52803128
>It ain't gonna suck itself

Game of Thrones and Word Bearers Omnibus

>>52802468
That's book six.

I read and own the whole series.

>>52802125

Is that the series where the main couple made some kind of statue and upon being gazed at it by anyone else they turn into some kind of libertarian?

>>52801712
The Witcher.

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>>52803754

>>52803735
Literally burst out laughing but close enough.

No, it was only the Main Character, who was kidnapped by an agent of the communis- the Empire, i mean. And then he lives abit in commu- Empire, land, and then he builds a statue and then everyone becomes a libertarian.

>>52802681
Pierce's books inspired me to build my own fantasy world, with characters that have evolved and changed with me ever since I was ten.

They're obviously kid-to-YA books, but if that doesn't bother you I think they hold up pretty well.

>>52801712
>Try reading A Song of Fire and Ice
>Found it a clusterfuck of too many characters, and barely any of them were likeable
>Try A Sword of Truth
>Complete garbage
>Read His Dark Materials for nostalgia
>Still enjoy it
Am I just a sucker for teenage fantasy fiction?

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As someone about to start throwing a Sci-fi book at publishers, how do you lot pick out what you're interested in reading?
What shit really puts you off buying a book?

>>52803802
Teenagers saving the world.

>>52803769
I'm not him, but the writing in the English translations was bad, the characters two dimensional, and while the setting was better than average, the author put too much effort in bucking the trends of the genre that it becomes annoying. I would later learn my problems with the writing was not a result of the translation.

If you want to read a good Polish series, try The Triology. With Fire and Sword is not only one of the best polish books ever written, but just one of the better books out there.

>>52803802
Chosen one stuff

>>52802178
DISCWORLD IS A GOOD SERIES GOOD ANON

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Riftwar.

"Arthurian England Versus Bug Riding Samurai Aztecs from Another Dimension, with plot based on a fucking tabletop campaign and some random cunt is given armor and sword by a dying dragon which enables him to become a hero and fulfil his Elf-fetishes by fucking the queen of the elves."

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pic very related, absolute garbage
No idea how its so popular

>>52803802
My Sci-if standards are different than my fantasy standards. I like everything from Carter to Rama to Starship Troopers. As long as the first chapter is well written and I like the concept, I'll read it.

Fantasy is when I get anal.

>>52803802
Have a reason for the main character to be.
If he is the chosen one, keep it so,
If he was the right man on the right place, keep him resourceful or what have you.
Nothing is worse than a main character who only exists ti be a reference point for the audience.

>>52803802
Avoid someone going "As you know, (Main Character)" To explain how the world works.

>>52802086
I read what...both of them? Start had so much promise, but I still wouldn't call it the worst thing ever. It's low on the totem pole though.


I remember really hating outcast of redwall

I've been putting off starting the Stormlight Archives for a while since I was never the biggest fan of Sanderson's stuff but I have a fan who swears by it as must-read stuff.

Is it worth checking out?

>>52803281
>Powder Mage trilogy
As a student of history, the Powder Mage strikes me as some Hungarophile Fantasy by some Hungaroboo of a magical Hungary succeeding in its 1848 revolution.

It doesn't help that everyone has Hungarian names and a lot of incidences remain similar to the irl failed Hungarian revolution (i.e. Big Empire comes to help the toppled monarchy = Russia coming to Hapsburg aid. Scenes from that one siege resembling the fighting at Budapest.

Did anyone else really enjoy His Dark Materials until about Halfway Through the Subtle Knife?

>>52803831
What could potentially make The Chosen One trope work well? Has there been an example in fiction where it worked?

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>>52803802
>really subverts the genre!
Like Game of Thrones with X!

>>52803900
Uuuhh... Ender's- no.
Harry Pot- Nope, that part was pretty bad.
Star Wa- No, not that.
The Giver? Is that a chosen one story?
The Lego Movie?

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>>52803897
Oh and I forgpt
>Adopest = Budapest.

>>52803802
Cast of unlikable characters. There's a big gulf between being dark and """"realistic"""" and being schmaltzy fluff.

>>52802178
Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser
Conan

In the area of sci-fi with fantasy elements:
Dune
The last books of the Foundation series
A Fire Upon the Deep

>>52803148
I'm having a hard time reading this one.
I'm halfway into the first book and it got me bored as fuck, literally used the book to help me sleep once. Also, the story is so edgy I could cut myself with it.

Does it get better later on?

>>52802093
Nah, I had fun with it, except by the end I wished Eragon would end foreveralone because he ticked me off too much. Also the little girl he fucked over was the best character.

>>52803990
I think the writing quality goes up.

It's one of my favorite series, but if you find it too boring and/or edgy that probably won't change.

>>52803078
>Don't know how the anime was, though.
It was a thing.

>>52802178
Discworld bro.

One of us, one of us

>>52803800
I only read YA fantasy at this point because most things above that level try too hard.

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>>52801712
Leviathan Trilogy by Scott Westerfeld.

To summarize: set in in a fictional WWI between Central Powers who are dieselpunk and Allied powers who use monstrous bioweapons.

Not really the worst, but so much lost fucking potential.

>>52804049
I think if I ever publish I'm going to publish YA because 1, it allows me to write without trying to emulate 'adult' novels, 2, kids don't really care as much about minutae as long as the story is fun, and 3, kids also don't care about 'not muh <X>'.

>>52802086

Which one of Rothfuss' books has the main character going "You might have fucked her brains out, but I'm the one she loves"?

>>52804123
>Which one of Rothfuss' books has the main character going "You might have fucked her brains out, but I'm the one she loves"?
Oh, I have to know the context of this.

>>52804163

It's spoken more elaborate, in a more flowery sense, like "You might have had her body, known the touch of her skin" and so on. Saw it mentioned once on /lit/'s general for fantasy and science fiction, but can't remember the exact quotation so I can't look it up in the archives.

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>>52802256

I mean, that's the second-worst book in the whole series, apart from Vox. I did like the world, though, it's like Leviathan in that I wish he'd just write books with no plot and just a massive guide to the setting describing everything.

>>52804092

Yeah, it's hard to find any good biopunk out there, and it was great fun, but got sidetracked for a massive romantic plot tumour instead of telling us more about the entire distinguishing feature of the books. And then ended after three short novels just as everything was about to get interesting, plus averting the war that everyone picked it up to see.
I am stealing so many elements of all the Darwinist shit for my biopunk Mechanicum army I'm making, though, whale-airship Lord of War included.

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>>52801712
Charlie Bone, since it was shat out during Potter Mania's height in the USA, and the cover art is done very similar to the harry potter books

>>52803990
>>52804009
Writing goes up, and it does get a bit brighter storywise in book 3 and the books of the south as the company is in a more optimistic role- they aren't always enforcers of the empire.

So I think you should try reading it, as there's a lot more to things and the characters in it that will get uncovered.

Like say, Raven. The epitome of cool edgy characters He's a fuckup who can't handle commitment and runs off whenever it looks like he's getting into a position where he'd have to really care about things.

I think that if I had to describe it, I'd say its dark, but not really edgy- people can and will do some pretty shitty things, but there's a lot of stuff in it about how real pure evil is really uncommon, its not an "everyone is a horrible person" series. I'd say that you should really try to keep going through the series, as its one of my faves as well.

>>52802747
>>52802623

I see nothing that would make me choose this book over any other generic fantasy. And that would assume I have no backlog of books that seem interesting.

You need more of a selling point.

>>52803900
Wheel of Time

>>52804223
>>52804092
Dis some real sunless sea shit.
Got me interested

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>>52804123
>>52804163
>>52804187

Found it!

>None were good enough for her, so I held them in contempt and hated them. They in turn hated and feared me.

>But we were pleasant to each other. Always pleasant. It was a game of sorts. He would invite me to sit, and I would buy him a drink. The three of us would talk, and his eyes would slowly grow dark as he watched her smile toward me. His mouth would narrow as he listened to the laughter that leapt from her as I joked, spun stories, sang...

>They would always react the same way, trying to prove ownership of her in small ways. Holding her hand, a kiss, a too-casual touch along her shoulder.

>They clung to her with desperate determination. Some of them merely resented my presence, saw me as a rival. But others had a frightened knowledge buried deep behind their eyes from the beginning. They knew she was leaving, and they didn't know why. So they clutched at her like shipwrecked sailors, clinging to the rocks despite the fact that they are being battered to death against them. I almost felt sorry for them. Almost.

>So they hated me, and it shone in their eyes when Denna wasn't looking. I would offer to buy another round of drinks, but he would insist, and I would graciously accept, and thank him, and smile.

>I have known her longer, my smile said. True, you have been inside the circle of her arms, tasted her mouth, felt the warmth of her, and that is something I have never had. But there is a part of her that is only for me. You cannot touch it, no matter how hard you might try. And after she has left you I will still be here, making her laugh. My light shining in her. I will still be here long after she has forgotten your name.

It's from Name of the Wind.

>>52803900
Dune

>>52804305
>all that shit
Holy fuck, NOBODY thinks like that. Is the character an insufferable dandy? He sounds like an insufferable dandy.

>>52804346

I think he's the setting's equivalent of a bard or something like that.

>>52804305
There aren't enough fedoras on earth.

>>52804305
God, I swear, it's become more of a cliche lately for 'mature' settings to go full HURR DURR DID NOT GET THE GIRL in the last 2-3 pages of a book and for her to suddenly be bullshit married off to someone else.
That bollocks really rumbles my bumbles. I swear, is NTR making its way into the mainstream without anyone noticing or some shit?

>>52804302
It's interesting, especially the first book where they don't fuck about with the love story, and the other two in the sections where they show you the new bits of setting - Ottoman Empire for the second, a whole mishmash for the third. Slightly glosses over all the downsides of a biological military and economy, but whatever, minor shit.

Worth a read, certainly, although I wouldn't go in expecting literary genius. I wouldn't be averse to trying to turn it into a campaign setting, honestly, if I knew a system that would work.

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>>52804382
>I wouldn't be averse to trying to turn it into a campaign setting
Yeah the plan was kinda stealing from it or in its entirety.
Thanks, will check it out when I have some time

>>52804376
Why not just have the partners be partners from start to finish instead of forcing a romance arc into the book or suddenly lolnoping it at the end?

>>52803900
>What could potentially make The Chosen One trope work well? Has there been an example in fiction where it worked?
I had a dream where I came up with a new, (imo) better tahe on the Eragon Skywalker the Chosen One story.
I am not sharing.
But it has a lot to do with how the true hero of Lord of the Rings was Samwise Gamgee.

>>52802790
Nigga come on its not a book.

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>>52804376

Nah, the author's just a genuine faggot.

>In high-school Pat was something of a class clown. His hobbies included reading a novel or two a day and giving relationship advice to all his friends despite the fact that he had never so much as kissed a girl. He also role-played and wrote terrible stories about elves. He was pretty much a geek.

>For the next seven years Pat studied anthropology, philosophy, eastern religions, history, alchemy, parapsychology, literature, and writing. He studied six different martial arts, practiced improv comedy, learned how to pick locks, and became a skilled lover of women. He also began writing a satirical advice column which he continues to this day: The College Survivial Guide. Through all of this he continued to work on his novel.

>Now Pat teaches half-time at his old school as an assistant-sub-lecturer. He is underpaid but generally left alone to do as he sees fit with his classes. He is advisor for the college feminists, the fencing club, and, oddly enough, a sorority. He still roll-plays occasionally, but now he does it in an extremely sophisticated, debonair way.

>>52803990
>edgy
>not liking the wizards playing pranks on each other all the time
>not liking the merc befriending and protecting a kid
I really don't understand some peoples versions of edgy.

>>52803802
Find and read the Limyaael rants.
Mostly about fantasy, but it touches on everything I could say.

>>52804355
He's an everything. Magical genius, fighting genius, social and diplomatic genius, musical super-genious, thieving genius. He's even a sex genius, to the point that his first sexual encounter in life is with a thousand-year old fairy sex goddess who kills the men she fucks, and she's so impressed by the sex that she doesn't kill him.

Oh, and he's also a gypsy. Gypsies in this setting are flawless, innately good beings that everyone is a racist jerk towards.

I read a book called The Dwarves, once. It was alright but pretty cliche. I likes the one eyed dwarf but he died.

>>52804460
I mean, there is the stuff with the rebel and that.

I generally take it as sorta- theyre hardened men, they don't really do nice things, but they aren't particularly bad people all things considered. It's just them vs the world, and the stuff they do is what they have to do to get by.

>>52804429
>>52804429
I want to find out where this guy is and make up an excuse to get a good shot in at him. He seems like the sort of douchebag who would accept a duel. I can just see him showing up with a rapier and nothing else, then balking after I rent some armor and meet him with a maul in hand.

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>>52804305
I think I liked Dave Thomas' version of that speech better.

>>52804469

> Gypsies in this setting are flawless, innately good beings that everyone is a racist jerk towards.

This is usually the point of view presented by idiots who never actually interacted with gypsies in their lives. Unless we're talking 1/80th gypsy American or something.

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>>52802093
Same my dude.

Whats some good literature with a dragon part of the protagonists ensemble?

>>52803821
>the author put too much effort in bucking the trends of the genre that it becomes annoying.
Being "clever" and "subversive" in a self-congratulatory way is basically the meat and potatoes of fantasy, though. Have you read any of those big fantasy books from the 70-80s? Even the good ones are always on about how all that bullshit the "bards" tell you about heroes and glory on the battlefield is all bullshit. And that's just scratching the surface.

>>52804257
>Wheel of Time
Not him, but I don't believe you, but then I couldn't finish the second book.

>>52804429
>For the next seven years Pat studied anthropology, philosophy, eastern religions, history, alchemy, parapsychology, literature, and writing. He studied six different martial arts, practiced improv comedy, learned how to pick locks, and became a skilled lover of women. He also began writing a satirical advice column which he continues to this day: The College Survivial Guide. Through all of this he continued to work on his novel.

Yeah sounds like he just dabbled in something for a bit ran into the next thing without being competent in it. It takes years to be good at one martial art let alone six.
Or just made all this bullshit up like his writing

>>52802623
That's not original at all.
In fact it is just yet another common generic tolkien-esque race scheme that every other fantasy setting uses.

I just want you to know that having a good setting has nothing to do with having a good story.
A good writer will make any nonsense generic setting with boring ideas look awesome and interesting.
And a bad writer can easily transform the best ideas ever imagined into a pile of shit.

So, you want an advice? Stop worrying about what you're writing and just write whatever you want. You will inevitably write a lot of shit right now ( the harder you try to write something good on your first try, the shittier your story will be ), whats important to you is to find your style and get some writing experience. You should only start worrying about writing something good after you get those.

>>52802157
That actually sounds pretty metal.

>>52804355
That's pretty accurate actually. He went crazy in the woods and learned how to play a mandolin or whatever like a god. Then he learned Alchemy But With Energy Instead Of Matter at the magic school.

>>52803078
Oh shit, i remember reading this as a kid. Theyre actually good? Radical.

>>52804554
Why doesn't that sort of thing turn into:
>Though the legends of a single man cutting through a horde of hundreds is rare at best, the horrors, trials, and tragedies of the battlefield set the stage for displays of uncommon courage from common men.

>>52804305
Holy shit it's like weaponized cringe.

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>>52802178
Redwall is pretty comfy.

>>52802623
>>52802747
Nothing objectionable.
Nothing that draws me in either.
Sounds like you have ideas and the MC might be good.
You might want a better concept but you need to learn how to sell your concept better.

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>>52801712
The Quest for Karn

All of the post-Lorwyn MTG fiction had been bad, of course, but Quest for Karn was the first one I was unable to read to the end. It was middle school level writing at best, even more disconnected from the plot of the set than Scourge was with none of the trippy fantasticalness to justify the deviation.

Since then I've entirely given up on the nuWalkers ever being tolerable. I buy a lot less cards, I avoid the new fiction, and I longingly await the day we get Time Spiral 2 and shove all these dull nuWalkers into time rifts and go back to the days of gods and heroes.

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>>52804615

Want some more?

>I managed very little sleep that night, and Losi came closer to killing me than Felurian ever had. She was a delightful partner, every bit as wonderful as Felurian had been.

>But how could that be? I hear you ask. How could any mortal woman compare with Felurian?

>It is easier to understand if you think of it in terms of music. Sometimes a man enjoys a symphony. Elsetimes he finds a jig more suited to his taste. The same holds true for lovemaking. One type is suited to the deep cushions of a twilight forest glade. Another comes quite naturally tangled in the sheets of narrow beds upstairs in inns. Each woman is like an instrument, waiting to be learned, loved, and finely played, to have at last her own true music made.

>Some might take offense at this way of seeing things, not understanding how a trouper views his music. They might think I degrade women. They might consider me callous, or boorish, or crude.

>But those people do not understand love, or music, or me.

Tom Kratman's A Desert Called Peace is much worse than the books posted here.

>>52804608
Ah, shit, that sounds bad now that I re-read it.
How about:
>Though the legends of a single man cutting through a horde of hundreds is rarely seen in practice, the horrors, trials, and tragedies of the battlefield often set the stage for displays of uncommon courage from common men.

>>52804638
Fuuuuck this guy, holy shit. I've never even dated and this guy is so eye-rollingly stupid its a wonder if he's ever even met a woman IRL.

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>>52804539
>I think I liked Dave Thomas' version of that speech better.
The Wendy's guy?

>>52804469
>Gypsies in this setting are flawless, innately good beings that everyone is a racist jerk towards.
I could forgive everything else, but not that.
Gyppos need to be purged on sight. There's a reason why there are secret cop pages over the world where they meet and vent over their absolute hatred of the fuckers.

>>52803900
To make the Chosen one work you need to give a reason why there is a chosen one.

Engineer the reason why the Chosen one is there to work.

Luke skywalker for example is a chosen one done right.

The Dresden Files.

Don't get wrong. I liked them at first, but "Dragon ball z but with wish-fulfillment autist wizard" gets old fast.

I think it was the sixth book that had the main characters quoting Monty Python at each other. I mean, Jesus dude, just admit you're out of ideas.

>>52804672

Read >>52804429

He's a skilled lover of women.

>>52801712
Probably Phillip Athans's novelization of Baldur's gate. It wasn't even entertainingly bad, it was just bad.

>>52802928
The novella was better than the 2nd half of his 2nd book though. It was a comfy slice of life story, I don't know what everyone's problem with it is

>>52804708

Can't be worse than Stephen King.

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>>52801712
>tfw I have two perfect examples for this thread, but the names were both so painfully generic that I can't actually remember what they were.

One of them had pretty badass retro fantasy coverart and was actually twenty/thirty years old when I read it. Dragonslayer something. Female witch and her dragonslayer ex husband have to go save the dwarves or the gnomes (it's one of the two, they live in a mountain kingdom, about all I remember) from a motherfucking dragon.

The plot is pretty interesting on paper (I can't be arsed to post the whole thing right night) but I've never read drier prose in a novel. And the moral dilemma at the end was shoehorned in and completely pointless.

Aaand I got lucky on a random title in Google and found the other one, pic related.

The prologue is the only good part of the series. Everything else is a collection of stock phrases and poorly implemented cliches. Also
>the villain likes rape
>like he really, really likes rape
>and all his shit is gold
>is it evil? then it's got more bling than a group of mexican cartel bosses trying to out-peacock each other with gold inlaid with gold inlaid with sapphires.
>also the main villain really likes rape.

Apparently this guy's done a whole fucking series. I don't understand how.

>>52803936
Dune?

>>52803936
>The Lego Movie?
Lego movie was pretty good t b h.

>>52804680
Tell me about it. I live in Sweden, the most gypsy-infested place on Earth. Even our SJWs (at least outside of Stockholm, where the real world has had no power until very recently) hate the fuckers, even if they don't admit it.

>>52804556
Not saying it doesn't have failings, but it handles the chosen one theme well.

>>52802101
came here to post this, he is the only writer from BL I honestly don't like reading.

>>52804554
>Being "clever" and "subversive" in a self-congratulatory way is basically the meat and potatoes of fantasy, though.

It's tired and cliched, and good authors can avoid it, but good authors can do well with it. I honestly don't mind a bit of low fantasy from time to time. That's also not what he actually did, he went to such effort to buck fantasy and myth cliches that he went full circle and is so "subversive" that it reads like a parody.

>>52804638
holy shit, what a creepy motherfucker

>>52804256
>not really edgy
I'd say the fucking cannibal Black Company cult in the South is pretty goddamn edgy. Or the "let's fill a street with boiling oil to greet our enemies".

The new book of Rick Riordan about norse mythology with the muslim valkyrie was pretty cringy

>>52801712
The Highwayman by R.A. Salvatore.

It's basically a Marvel/DC comic as a book, meaning zero research blended with shit awful writing.

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>>52804892
>Spoiler1
It's not really that edgy. The entire South is based loosely on random shit from Africa, where ritual cannibalism is still a thing even today.
>Or the "let's fill a street with boiling oil to greet our enemies".
But boiling oil was a common anti-siege tactic. What's the issue with that? (granted, I might be forgetting something important, it's been ages since I read Books of the South)

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>>52804888
Kvothe is really far up his own ass at all times.

>>52801712
Never read Eragon, although I did see the movie.
Even as a kid with no standards I left that theater thinking that it was a giant pile of shit and feeling like I had completely wasted my time. Its funny now to learn that the books were apparently trash too.

>>52804948
>The entire South is based loosely on random shit from Africa
And India, which also had some pretty fucked up traditions.

I guess this is what annoyed me most about Black Company, that he cribbed stuff straight from exotic Earth cultures without much change.

Still enjoyed the books, though.

>>52801794
>John Ringo

Paladin of Shadows is hilarious. It's about a GOOD Mary Sue serial child rapist soldier killing terrorists. They turn one of the child prostitutes they impound from their Johns into a cyborg assassin and take her along their mission later on.

>>52804904
>Rick Riordan
On a constant downslide ever since Sea of Monsters and stopped being anywhere near good at least half a decade ago.
The closest he got to catching the lightning in a bottle (If the Lightning Thief can even be called that) was the Egyptian series, and that didn't last more than a book.
He was already mediocre, he just got worse.

>>52801712
That one. Although the Sword of Truth novels certainly give it a run for its money.

>>52803725
Word Bearers was such a shit series holy crap.

It's pretty much nothing but the Word bearers gossiping like highschool girls, getting mad because one of them killed a bff and planning to backstab each other while saying to each others faces "grrr, hate you" "grrrrr, hate you too" "i'll keel you"

It did have some cool bits. The first book with the Militia falling to chaos and his building the tower. The Dark Mechanicus. But man, it was bad.

The ending to the, I want to say trilogy, is even Erebus telling the main character "lol, this was just me pissing about with muh bro Kor Phareon hahahahaha. That magical artefact you had was kewl but who cares lmao haha punked"

Sigvald is still the only good chaos book I've ever read that has some pathos in it.

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>Holy shit my roommate is such a slut
>Why did she sleep with Chad but not me?
>I really want to fuck her
>Oh no! We stumbled across a quantum computer and now we're shunting to parallel dimensions!?
>Rasputin is trying to kill us through time and space! I'm going to use this computer to save my roommate, maybe then she'll sleep with me.
>Fuck! Rasputin nearly caught me and I had to abandon my roommate in another dimension, what a bummer.
>Oh no! My roommate's cute sister is conversing with Chad!
>I'll be damned if I let Chad sleep with THIS one, better give her a piece of my mind!
>Aw, she got mad and now she won't sleep with me.

That's it. That's the whole book.

>>52805106
I like how HARD is emphasized on the title, since protag is clearly thinking with his cock.

>>52803029
Hohlbein got the tech down to a T, but he's kinda uninspiring. It's obvious in his non-YA fantasy, which usually have their story develop in a perfect classic dramatic arc.

Without a doubt: the Silmarillon.
Reads like the old testament. The boring parts. Not the hail of fire and brimstone bits.

>>52804552
The Temeraire series

>>52805171
>The boring parts.

I don't remember anyone in the Bible getting so mad that they march across a frozen ocean to stuff a couple of hundred spears up their asshole in the Bible.

The best we get is a group of guys getting lost for twenty or thirty years while they move their families from the center of the Empire to the pheriphery.

>>52802157
Describing gore can be done right

One of the things that stuck with me the most about reading Monkey (an abridged translation of journey to the west) was how graphic the violence could be. I don't have a copy right now but I remember early on when Sun Wukong crushes a tiger's head and it's described as squashing a pomegranate, with the teeth that fly off as shards of white jade

>>52801712
>Worst
Hard to tell, but on my birthday a friend got me the first book of a French scifi series called Latium, claiming he'd heard it was good and well-known.

It doesn't have a Wikipedia page, or an English translation, so it's moderately obscure. No wonder, it's a pretentious mess. Four hundred pages of purple prose laced with gratuitous latin/greek, where things take absolutely forever to happen.

I could post an excerpt but every second sentence comes with gratuitously uncommon French words and I can't be assed to look up the translation for each and every one of them.

>>52801712
Starship troopers. The movies were 100x better, and if I wanted to read monotone texts about how hardcore boot camp was I would have stayed in the military while reading /k/ recruitment threads.

>>52805171
I'm going to be honest here, I don't think you read the SIlmarillon.

It has more battles and conflict than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.

>>52805373
Thank you for your cervix, it's good to see we still pick the stupid ones for the armed services.

>>52805373
The movies were pure goofy kino.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMTz9nIUkGc

>>52805388

>for your cervix

The Forever War. It wasn't just that it was hyped up. I would have put that book in the trash if I'd bought it for $2 from a remains shelf.

The science is so bad it's cringey. The political commentary is pretty obvious. The entire premise doesn't even make sense. And that whole part about how in boot camp the female draftees are required to have sex with the male draftees was so fucking stupid and juvenile that I had to laugh.

>>52801745
good post

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>>52805388
So enlightened!

>>52805417
It's stupid fun laden with nothing if not a massive amount of satire, but considering who directed that's no surprise

>>52805425
I, too, am often thankful for cervices, among the other great internal sphincters.

>>52804376
Its stolen from 'Great Expectations' where our MC Pip doesn't get any girl because he sacrificed all relationships for 'success'.

>>52804305
how did this highschool crap get past any editor?

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>>52805388
He's right though. The books are just boring crap. The movies at least are entertaining crap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIsv1YOFNys

>>52805467

Not only that, but it actually sold enough to make the author fairly rich.

>>52805388
I am from a nation that conscripts on a selective basis you dumb nigger, not everyone that has """Served""" is an Muhreen/Americlap.

>>52805417
It is legitimately one of my top 5 films.

>>52802093
Same, but I guess it must have been shit, since I can barely remember anything about it.

What I do know however, is that the movie was the worst thing I have ever seen.

>>52803900
Dark Souls 1, but it turns out the whole thing is a scam by a servant of the gods, trying to trick undead into prolonging the Age of Fire. No such thing as a chosen one

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>>52805467
Might have been a vanity publisher
>pic related

>>52801718
I liked it when I was younger, now not so much. It falls apart very fast and the ending of the second trilogy was absolute shit? The most defining scene between the 6 books was probably the Licorn horn strap rape on a elf girl by the evil dominatrix emperess

>>52803850

Same for me.

Probaby the dullest book I have ever read.

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>>52805532
Kaathe, pls go.

>>52805532
>muh souls

I can't wait until this meme franchise fades from memory.

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All the negativity in this thread is hurting my soul. Why not revel in nostalgia instead?

>>52803710
>I like GURPS
>but GURPS is not perfect
What the fuck am I reading? A GURPS fan who isn't sure that it's a perfect system? Who genuinely enjoys other systems?

This changes everything.

>>52805592
MEMES DON'T DIE

>>52803678
At least doesn't mix with Touhou Fairy Wars.

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>>52801712
Quite new to the fantasy scifi stuff but this was pretty boring.

BIG GLOBULAR EYES

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>>52805626
Inkheart and Wolf Brother are garbage. Mortal Engines and Northern Lights are head and shoulders above the rest in terms of literary value.

Poison is the most /tg/ book ever written, though.

>>52805539
Name of the Wind is published by DAW

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This series by Karen Miller. After liking the first book quite a lot, the disappointment just kept mounting on.

Also I have to mention Trudi Canavan's Black Magician for its shitty ending and simplistic magic system.

And last but not least, The Soldier Son trilogy by Hobb, which I gave up after finishing the second book. It is one of the weirdest books I have read and I truly don't know how anyone could come up with such a story.

Perdido Street Station was great right up until that fucking ending.

The limpest, edgiest, most unsatisfying conclusion not written by Neal Stephenson.

>>52802058

Have you ever read Lilith St. Crow?

>>52805720
You have to admit that endings are one of the things most rarely done right.

>>52805735
There's a thought. What are some of the best endings in literature?

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>>52805373
I liked the animated series, the movies are just there for me. I haven't read the book, but considering all the things it inspired I probably need to read it sometime.
The third movie with religion was beyond goofy

>>52802101
>>52804860

Never read muh space wolf but William King Gotrek and Felix was best Gotrek and Felix.

>>52805626
>The Artemis Fowl Series
Only the first book was any good I'd say as I hated how they ended changing his personality so much as he went from a scheming motherfucker to a pathetic cuck.

>>52805633
Shit, I can't let people think we're reasonable.

You can play literally any type of game with GURPS and it will be far superior than playing that type of game in a different system.

>>52802178
The jhereg series. YW!!

>>52805662
The whole bit in the middle with the second MC was boring as shit but I thoroughly enjoyed the other bits when the dude in powerarmor was dropping flying knees on bugs at 114km/h

>>52805743
Offhand, I can think of the endings to A land fit for heroes, the Coldfire trilogy, Mistborn especially along with A Secret History and maybe Malazan although those books are more loosely connected as a whole.

>>52805796
this.
It started good and ended as a mess

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>>52805796
Why would you say that

>>52805743
Shizune's ending in the Katawa Shoujo demo

>>52805837
The way he was in the suit out the suit in the suit out the suit and almost every other human he encountered got killed straight away annoyed me it just dragged on

>>52805873
Because its true. As the series progressed he gained a conscience which lost the amorality which had made him so interesting in the first book. The environmentalism preaching also grew so much worse culminating in that shit finale in the final book.

>>52805725
At least the magic in that series was kinda interesting.

Otherwise, just Twilight with a demon instead of a vampire.

>>52804892
>>52804948
Spoiler 1 Well, the Nar were also throwbacks to the old old company, back when they were Kina cultists

And for the boiling oil If you're talking bout the point where sleepy died, that trap was meant for soulcatcher so I can't blame them for going OTT

>>52805720
I don't really understand why everyone seems to hate the ending so much. Isaac's girlfriend had just been beaten and abused until she's barely functioning. Do you honestly expect someone in his position to hear "you've been helping a rapist" and NOT try to distance himself from that?

Yeah, the Garuda guy had redeemed himself, but the series was never an optimistic I'm-okay-you're-okay sort of story. It was pretty much always about weird, uncomfortable shit from the beginning. Why would anyone expect the ending to be any different?

>>52805752
It was, but we got THE song and a pretty cool intro with the bunker, so it would have been sort of worth it if we got another sequel. The Japanese CGI movie was better at least, not too goofy and not to christian.

I am personally not a big fan of the CGI series as I didn't grow up with it, but the little I have seen of it is better than the book. I need to watch the anime though.

>>52805989
Hey, I love the books. And I get that, to some extent, those things were inspired by RL cultures and/or practices.

I still think it was kinda edgy. Riiiight on the edge of "this is pushing it a bit", but not full hedgeheg.

>>52805796
Personally I thought he was fine through books 1-4, and even a dash of 5, because his personality shifting was natural character development, but he never lost that spark of being a dick deep down.

6 was when it all went tits up due to the environmental message, already as subtle as a brick to the face, got amped up to 11, and also where the author started introducing and then promptly dropping side plots and characters.

>>52801712
I really disliked the earthsea series. Read the farthest shore when i was a kid, you think going to the land of the land would be fun but nope snorefest. The other wind i read like a third and was left it. The promised dragons did not arrive within a reasonable time frame to make up for the characters just having a non stop hippy natter.

>>52802178

I'd say the broken empire series and the red queens war is a fun take on (initially) low fantasy, although the first trilogy protag can be a bit edgy but it is explained why. The seer king trilogy can get a bit lewd but is a pretty decent epic arc of rise and fall ala napoleon

>>52805592
Shut your whore mouth.

>>52805796
I always felt the series should have ended at 3, read 4 and really didnt see the point in bringing the villian from 2 back. Left the series for a bit then came back and there were even more books, including i think time travelling elements, which never turn out good, and couldnt be bothered to read them at all

>>52806143
Opal only gets more obnoxious as time goes on.
At least 4 had the decency to make her flawed.

>>52801712
If you're looking for so bad its good 80's schlock in book form, read Beastmaker by James v. Smith

>>52805347
A guy shits his internal organs out because god got upset with him.

>>52805347
>a group of guys getting lost
>lost
You sure didn't read it.
One of them lost a penny.

>>52806299
Happened to folks all the time back then, even without god being cross.

>>52806237
She doesnt become a good guy by any chance?

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>>52806286
LOOK AT THIS SHIT

>>52806004
I meant the CGI roughneck chronicles when I said animated. Sorry for confusion.

I remember reading this in elementary school because my friends told me it was like lord of the rings. I've never felt so disappointed and betrayed in my life.

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>>52806419

>>52804305
Is this the cuckest passage in existence?

>>52806492
This monster rapes and impregnates all female mammals. Including humans

>>52806524
Then why isn't the tagline "IT LIVES TO FUCK!"

>>52806237
>Implying she doesn't go full batshit insane in the Opal deception and stays that way
I don't even know what the fuck Colfer got hooked on when he wrote the Lost Colony, but he apparently never quit.

>>52806564
Trust me, it kills more than it fucks

>>52806143
The time travel book is when all subtlety is dropped regarding Artemis and Holly. I think they actually kiss on that one. It's also the one where the main villain for a good part of the book is the leader of a literal "anti-ecologist" organization who purposefully hunt down and eat endangered species.

>tfw the Nicholas Flamel books had a solid premise for YA urban fantasy but literally forgets major antagonists between books

>>52806520
no wonder that nu-males love it

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>>52801712
this book. it could have been so much cooler but as it is it was just disappointing

>>52803078

Wow, I don't remember those covers being this hideous.

>>52801712
The Name of the Wind is the worst I've attempted to read.

>>52803899
>interesting worldbuilding
>slowly watch the series become Chridtian propaganda

I was pissed as a kid.

>>52806421
That is the one that I thought you meant.

>>52806794
Wasnt the series overwhelming a criticism of christianity seeing as pullman was raised in a really christian household? I mean they eventually find god, who apparently was only the first angel and took credit for creation, and watch him die

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>>52806794
but God isn't real

>>52804305
>yeah you might be fucking her raw everynight but I'm her special friend, checkmate

>>52806854
I thought it was supposed to be Gnostic or some shit.

>>52806057

Did you have a stroke writing this?

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Off-topic but did anybody else ever read this? I read it as kid and remember it being fucking rad as hell, but I've never seen it mentioned in any of these threads. Is it just really obscure or is it much worse than I remember it being?

>>52806635
>It's also the one where the main villain for a good part of the book is the leader of a literal "anti-ecologist" organization who purposefully hunt down and eat endangered species.
Honestly, that was so retarded it looped round into being funny

>>52806407
Oh fuck no

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the hyperion series mostly just after the first book though

iv read a lot of bad books though. lots of forgotten realms, star wars, and magic the gathering books

>>52806971
I think she almost drowns Holly in a barrel of rendered animal fat.

Shit, am I remembering that right?

>>52804678
Heh
That is why I included the pic.
SCTV Alum need more love.
I was thrilled when Eugene Levi rolled American Pie into a comeback.

>>52806913
I dunno, he has a fake catholic church i the first book and shits on them. Third book has sciencist lady figuring out dust evolution with the wheeled animals. Read an interview where they asked him if he would write around another religion such as islam, boy did he back track away from that rapidly saying he only writes what knows

>>52806935
Yes. Send help

>>52806989
The first Hyperion book is like a prologue though. We learn the story's background and then nothing happens.

>>52804998
As bad as the books were, the movie ruined the material from the books.
That movie was a lesson in how to kill a franchise before it starts.

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>>52801712
Couldn't get past the 100 page mark even. For me this book really epitomizes bad, trashy and wannabe-edgy dark fantasy.

>>52804519
My fucking sides

>>52804429
And to think this fucking moron is making bank off his OC mary sue

>>52805011
This doesn't even do the series justice. I'm still not sure if it's supposed to be hilarious, but it sure as hell is

>>52803900
Not a book, but Morrowind

>>52803936
>Lego Movie
Wasn't that a bit like Morrowind, in the sense of the Chosen one trope?

>>52807297
These series are worth reading for a special reason. The writer gets so much better with each book, that each one is incomparable to the next one.

And if you found this edgy you mustn't have read much.

>>52807372
>And if you found this edgy you mustn't have read much.
The first hundred pages has "LMAO CHILDHOOD BULLY RAPES/SISSIFIES THE PROTAG'S BEST FRIEND AND MUTILATES PURE MUTE GIRL" and then protag kills him so he can be a "BADASS MEDIEVAL NINJA ASSASSIN ANGEL OF DEATH". It's not even amusing edge like >>52805011
but as I mentioned, wannabe-edge. Like the author thinks he's being dark and edgy by adding dumb shit into the story but it's actually just dumb cringey shit.

>>52807297
>Starts off edgy
>Ending is the epitome of pure noblebright