>Where exactly do you stand in the room anon?

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>>52793152
>What did you say to the king?

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>what was your dex modifier again?

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>anyone got some d6s I can borrow I need a few more

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>Well as long as you don't roll a one...

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>>52793152
>Umm, you did drink the potion first, right?

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>how close to the box did you say you were?

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>Are you absolutely SURE you want to do that?

>>52793152
>Show me how you go about disarm the trap. Yes, here, stand up here, show me, with gestures, how you try to disarm the trap.

>The bandit leader escapes through the front door.
>I baracaded it earlier.
>No you didn't
>Yes I did
>No
>whole party YES
>Oh. Well he used magic to unbaracade it and escapes.

>>52794076
I would quit. I would fucking shake my head, pack up my binder and sigh as I left out the front door.

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>I'm going to pickpocket that guard while you're asking him for help.

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>Hold up there. Show me the exact route you took on the map.

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>Roll behind screen
>"...huh."
>"What?"
>"Oh, nothing you need to worry about."

>>52794328
every time

EVERY time

>>52793152
>"You open the chest and..." [rolling]

>Which hand do you open the door with?

>When was the last time your character bathed?

>What order are you standing in?

>Is your character allergic to peanuts?

>How high up are you holding the torch?

>How much gold did you deposit in that bank?

>>52794486
>>When was the last time your character bathed?
During one of our sessions, we visited a noble, and our DM used this excuse why he treats us like shit.
Next campaign, we were really on the clock to visit a different noble, but we took our time bathing anyway. When we got to him, he also treated us like shit.

>>52794328
I do this for absolutely no reason other than to fuck with my players on a near-daily basis.

I love it.

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>>52794524
He is a noble, why would he not treat you like shit?
>Your job as adventurers is to literally get your hands dirty.

Somewhere I am politely out of the way of people needing to traverse the room, but with care to not be pushed into the margins.

You know, the way people who aren't socially retarded stand in a room.

>>52793319
>Gross fatty dyke
>Hillary pin
Pottery

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>You never said you bought rations or water

>>52794551
I do too, until this happened last week

>Roll behind screen.
>Me: "...huh"
>Player 1 :"what?"
>Player 2: "Oh, please, yours just trying to psych is out"
>Player 3: "Yeah, he does that all the time. Nothing ever happens."
>Me: "I need Reflex from, uh, (checks map) All of you."
>Players 1/3:".... Fuck."

I learned you gotta mix it up. This week, I took to rolling odds/evens on a d6. Odds=nothing, Evens=something.

> grabs a new book out of his bag with paper over the cover and 40 bookmarks in it.

I just wanted to try out my new sword, I didn't ask for this....

>>52794611
I need a square on the grid, anon.

>>52794744
Why is there paper over the cover?

>>52794486
The party order is fairly important in actual exploration, but it should usually be a no brainer.

The rest are quotes I have had the fortune of not hearing in any of my games. They are no brainers too, but they're also not really that important unless the DM is actually being a reeeal tricky dicky.
>>Which hand do you open the door with

>>52794782
Probably because the cover's falling apart, if it's used enough to have 40 bookmarks.

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>A group of prostitutes approaches the party.

>>52794908
also to hide what book is being used.

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>>52793152
>Hey, can you remind me again what living family members you character has?

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>>52794926
>Which way was the guy with Dark Vision looking?
>His penalty to Perception checks is HOW much?

>>52794274
>binder

Are you for real my niqqa

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>>52794274
>>52795013
>uses binder
are u like 50 my negro

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>how did you put on your shoes?

>sock shoe, sock shoe?
Or
>sock sock, shoe shoe?

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>placed immovable rod indoors

Which direction are you standing to the rod?

>pulls out compass

>>52797943
>This will determine if you have one, or two mimics for feet.

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>did you put the milk or cereal in the bowl first

>>52798037
Jokes on you, the socks are poison and the shoes are the antidote, you need to go sock shoe to stop the poison taking affect in time.

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>which way did you turn the key?

>>52798037
there was an issue of dragon magazine with glove mimics that would slowly drain your blood as you wore them but would also give you adrenalin spikes if threatened

>>52798128
>Things that came to mind in response to this
Loss of finger control.
Hold fire to the glove to control the spikes.
Sacrifice fingers to offset them killing you
Eventually they bite off your hands and BECOME your hands
Can be easily removed if held underwater

>>52794551
I do this too, but to add insult to injury, since we're playing on Roll 20, every time I roll my physical dice without prior comment, it's just to fuck with them, as I have all invisible rolls (like their passive spot/listen checks) tied to macros that make no sound for them.

>>52798121
>How many times do you turn the key?

>>52798408
>double ended key, one shaped like a duck, the other a chicken
>which end did you put in the lock?

>>52797863
How the fuck do you carry your loose papers? Just stuff them in your bag?

>>52797863
Not him, but binders are really good for RPGs. You get a folder for each system with all your sheets so you don't lose them, use the papers for notes and scratch paper, and have the obligatory pencil/eraser storage. You could also get multiple binders if you find one system is taking up a lot of space.

It helps you keep everything neat, organized, and in one place. It also lets you store pesky campaign documents and other extras.

With diligent note-taking, you could drop a campaign for years, then when you want to reminisce (or pick it back up), just open your binder to the relevant system and quickly catch up on everything that happened.

>>52801494
My man

>GM asks me what exactly I'm carrying while were on a boat

Well i sure as hell ain't wearing my plate armour you murderous fuck!

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>>52798408
I need to put a windup mechanism inside of a door sometime.

>Door is now fully armed.
>Will you turn the handle?

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>which exact passage in the grimoire did you read out loud?