What is the most fucked up thing you have ever seen a player

>>52725433
In or out of character?

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>>52725555
Both.

>>52725433
I once had a game where one of the characters, a rogue IIRC, had a background about his mother being literally a whore and him growing up in the streets and becoming a thug, and adventuring to try to get out of that life.

Later on, as he got more successful, they swung back to their hometown. He looks up his mother, and pays her pimp to force her to fuck his horse, all the while ranting about how she could have left all of this behind if she wasn't stupid and weak, as the money he needed to pay for this was an afternoon's earnings for him.

>>52725555
WASTE QUADS

>>52725555
Yes.

>>52725433
Slept with a girl at the beginning of a story arch, then gouged out her eyes and murdered her to pin the murder on someone else.

It was a bit of a honey-pot trap too. He asked her for help, lured her to an abandon building, then tied her to a chair, and stabbed her in the eyes. Didn't even kill her first. I think she bled out, or they killed her to stop the screaming.

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>>52725582

>>52725433
Invented a new warcrime. Fireboarding.

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Probably not that fucked up but my party once tied a gnoll chief up and left him in his own pit trap inside a murder forest. I remember giving them a fairly horrified look and asking if they really wanted to torture the guy like that but no one seemed to think it was that bad. I even had him beg them to just kill him rather than put him through waiting to either starve to death or be attacked by scavenger animals but they weren't having it. To paraphrase one of my players. "If I like the villain and he's fun to talk to then I don't want to kill them and will try and avoid it." Apparently leaving someone in a hole to starve doesn't count. I later had him come back as a ghost for a session seeing as apparently they liked him so much.

>>52725657
>fireboarding
I like the way you think, anon!

>>52725582
>>52725631
>>52725720
sounds like your average rogue/thief player to me

This is only a story I've heard, but apparently a guy shit his pants because he was too excited to leave when fighting some creature

>>52725433
Dismember someone and throw them in the oven. They were trying to get off of a space station.

>>52725723
It wasn't my idea, it was my party's.

>>52725773
Was a cleric for the gnoll one.

Encasing somebody in concrete but leaving air holes and nothing more

Caulking gun up the urethra.

>>52725720
I actually raped a gnoll once.

First some backstory: I was a fighter who believed that only strenght is respected, that a man should be an alpha. So we were told by the DM that a nearby gnoll tribe was attacking local villages. Before attacking them they told us that it was useless to use diplomacy since gnolls only respect strenght. Bad choice of words.

We captured a gnoll in one of the first battles who actually knew Common. After some 'helping' (torture for the more pure anons), he told us where his tribe was and also about their leader: a gnoll matriarch. Pretty interesting.

So we raided the village and managed to capture her and the several non-combatants in battle. One of the PCs suggested that we should just kill them all, but another said that it could bring us problem later. I told them that the best way of dealing with them was showing them who was the alpha wolf in this world.

I'm not really going to describe it, but I ordered the PCs to bring the entire captured village into a circle. Then I used my hopes to tie the matriarch hands and then spread her legs. Then I did the 'business' as they watched. My DM was like dumbstruck.

I didn't feel bad since gnolls were son of bitches who liked to eat and torture people anyway. But yeah, now looking back I cringe now.

...that still better than genocide. Maybe.

>>52725433
Turned an enemy into a clone of themselves, to keep for backup.

>>52725582
I've seen that before. You're either an Oldfag, or stealing someone else's tale.

>>52725582
The background itself is fine even if gritty but what the fuck?
Honestly the truly disturbing thing with it is that the most likely reason why someone could want to do that is as a revenge fantasy against his own mother because she ruined his childhood by being a trashy slut switching men all the time or even a literal whore.

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>>52725433
>Be raiders in a waterworld setting
>Get tasked to infiltrate a floating fortress spotted by our scouts
>Dive in at night using makeshift DPVs and do some recon
>Find local leader's shack first and decide to break in and coerce him to open the gates for our boys
>Find him with family of wife and two children, a young boy and a girl, all soundly asleep
>Raiders being raiders, before we actually get to coercing him we decide to just rape everyone a little bit first
>Commence two hours of brutal rape and acts so depraved I dare not repeat them
>Now need to find another way in for our boys seeing how everyone in here is dead

>>52726086
>Then I used my hopes to tie the matriarch hands

Now I know that's a typo and you meant ropes, but damn if that just doesn't make the story all the better

>>52726378
Ops. But yeah, it does make it better kek.

I've got a three way tie on my hands here anons.

>Twilight 2000
>Ran over a prisoner with a tank, inches at a time, starting with his feet, until he told us where the fuel dump was.

>Delta Green
>Bodies in a wood chipper.

>Black Crusade
>Anything involving the heretek.

>>52726086
>>52726275
Why do GMs put up with your edgelord power fantasies?

I wasn't hosting this one, but our party went through this mystical forest full of fey shenanigans and supernatural wood-monster bullshit.

Anyhow, we eventually find a bunch of silver artifacts that belong to some water nymph. One of these artifacts is a ring that, when "turned on," constantly spurts water out from its center. It shot water at a ridiculous speed and would just keep going and going. We realized at one point that, if the ring was turned on and hidden somewhere, we could essentially Noah's Ark this shitty Berserkian murder-world.

But instead, the rogue picked a fight with this human bandit miniboss guy later on. The guy started whooping our asses, so the rogue grabs the water ring, turns it on, and forces it down the chief's throat.

Eventually, the guy just falls back and starts screaming and clutching at his stomach. Water starts pouring out of his mouth, muting him. Water spouts out his nose and his eyes as he fell back. A minute later, his stomach expanded and exploded.

The rogue casually walked over to grab the ring and turned it off. The bandits all ran away.

Not really horrifying, but just really creative.

>>52726616
>Anything involving the Heretek

Do go on.

>>52725433
They started describing after-combat cannibalism in enough detail that it was obvious they were getting a stiffy from it. There's playing a monster race, and then there's that.

>Playing a rules-lite system for the walking dead (safe point).
>GM's interpretation of the setting so it's more like mad max 1, really.
>So far we've met amish cannibals, airsoft operators mormons and biker gangs, no nice people.
>we realise theses people always have gas because the gm really likes car chases
>we also realise the rules lite system is easy as fuck to abuse
>we never use guns anymore
>just run over anything that moves, human or zombie

>>52726635
Well, I don't think the DM was expecting this to happen.

I think in his original plan he would just attack the village, kill his NPC boss, burn it and then receive some xp and loot.

When we captured several gnolls alive however and one of the PC suggested to kill them all and another said it would be like genocide, he clearly got uncomfortable. So when I said I had a plan to break them without further bloodshed he got curious to see what I had planned.

He got even more uncomfortable.

>>52726616
>anything involving the heretek
you started something anon, finish it

>>52726767
How was the gnoll matriarchs 8 inch clitoris?

>>52726654
>Heretek Strogg started the game with the simple goal of reverse engineering the lost of of Thallax conversion. Pic related.
>He didn't have any real idea how to go about doing this, being the equivalent of a Magos biologis, but he wasn't about to let something as simple as a massive lack of knowledge stop him.
>Every living being that fell into his hands went under the knife/rotary saw/blow torch. While still alive. While awake.
>Some "useful data" was recorded during this process but his end goal eluded him.
>Eventually abandoned that line of research due to lack of progress and test subjects.
>The second point inspired his next line of reserch: ensuring a supply of warm bodies for his Great Works.
>Eventually settled on a process by which a female captives ovaries would "play host to a Legion of minor daemons."
>Some genetic tweaking and bam, from ovulation to birth takes about 3 hours, with the subject ovulating every 4 hours and the creatures born reaching physical maturity in 6.
>The quest for Thallax conversions has resumed.

She killed another player character's pregnant wife, assumed her identity and got pregnant by him herself, in a pretty ghastly ritual which basically stole his soul and forced him to reincarnate as the baby.

A worse step up where she did something similar before but used the baby as a voodoo doll against the father. Same thing wouldn't work on the player character, so she did the soul stealing thing.

>>52726816
That's not a complete list but I'm about to loose the ability to post. I'll continue later if this is still around.

>>52726086
So I'm assuming these gnolls were only slightly based on spotted hyenas since real female hyenas are impossible to rape (unless you go for the pooper I guess)

>>52726861
>So I'm assuming these gnolls were only slightly based on spotted hyenas since real female hyenas are impossible to rape

That's actually one particular kind of hyena anon, all others don't have the pseudo-penis.

>>52726807
It was pretty tight!

>>52726807
>>52726861

Okay, sorry for breaking the magic, but we didn't actually 'roleplay' it. DM just said 'okay you rape her as she curses you. You finish leaving her a mess, the gnolls looking at you horrified. You release her and them, they pick her up and leave running as fast as they can.'

So no idea if she had one or not. Seeing this anon >>52726883 I would say she probably didn't.

My games have been pretty tame. Most i've done is butchered the pope and an angel in the middle of the holy city of the setting.

I was basically playing Elric of Melnibone too being an elf with a cursed sword.

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>>52726816

>>52726883
Good thing I mentioned that specific species then!

>>52726912
>Good thing I mentioned that specific species then!
Yeah but you got it backwards.

Burlap sack filled with kindling and poison ivy. Hucked it into a cave system, blocked the entry.

Killed EVERYTHING inside.

Horribly.

Lots of XP for cleverness, but I was rewarded with looks of horror all around as I described what happens to living beings that inhale poison ivy smoke. It's not pretty.

>>52726976
Oops also inside the sack was alchemists fire. It was a BIG sack, too. My ranger builds them and calls them Bags of Fuck You. My DM calls them warcrimes.

>>52726990
Nice.

>>52727006
Clever rangers are fucking scary if you let em be. Nature is MEAN. Rangers learning from her can be way worse: every latrine I build is a punji pit. Every campsite has either nettles, poison ivy, or some other horrifying plant around it. Every trap I use is set at eye level, with spikes, or foot level with sharps to cut the Achilles tendon. So on and so forth. Fucker wants to be left alone, and no god can help you if you bother him.

>>52727058
I let the ranger in our group put leeches into the main water supply so we could find the vampire who wouldn't drink the water.
This successfully starved the vampire in the process, and later revealing her.

>>52727112
*revealed

>>52727112
>leeches
How did this out the vampire?

>>52726086

How did the gnolls react?

I'm genuinely curious.

>>52725582
Idiot shouldve made some brothers and sisters

>>52725433
Our GM ran a "multiple game worlds collide" game.

I gave Nanako of Persona 4 an evoker, enchanted to draw out Personas in the real world, and told her to show her dad that she could summon angels.

Note to self: Even if it is ultimately beneficial, do not have tell a little girl to perform what looks like suicide when her big bro is in town.

He was thrown into a TV, had the ever-loving shit beaten out of him, then left in a racy sailor moon costume hanging by his feet from a power pole.

Silver lining: The cute loli who could now summon angels healed him after he claimed to have been hit by a car.

>>52727173
he wasn't full of leeches

>>52727173
Prohibitionist dwarf island-fortress.

Like Ulthuan and Ireland in a blender.

The vampire was discovered to be the surgeon the entire time.

Siphoning her patients blood.

As soon as the hardcore alcoholics started drinking the leech infested water after swapping the barrels and kegs of beer with them.

Well, lets just say her meal bit back.

The fortress would've been better off if I didn't decide to murder her in cold blood however.

t. dwarf sorcerer.

>>52727314
When I say "it bit back" I mean "it bit her in the ass", metaphorically.

>>52725433
I once tested a potion on my familiar to see what it would do

>>52727193
Basically at the start of battle they were stunned by our successful sneak attack.

Then they started to battle furiously as the matriarch joined them.

When the matriarch was captured they lost morale, some of them fleeing. Then we started trying to bring down as many of them as possible.

When we rounded them up they were scared, probably wondering what we would do with them.

This next part was rushed by DM by obviously reasons. When I put the matriarch in front of them they got pissed, when I started they got horrified and when I finished they were like... broken. I don't blame them, she was not only their leader but the strongest. And she was defiled upon their very eyes.

After that we released them, they just grabbed her and left. They didn't even bother to grab their stuff from their village, leaving their weapons and some plundered loot for us to take.

They didn't come back until now either so I guess it worked. Or DM wants to act like that never happened.

>>52725433
Tortured a child molester/killer with a catheter and sulfuric acid to make a point to his boss.

Bound the soul of a dying little girl to a gem until I could make a new, cancer-free body for her. (Ultimately good, but still.)

Ran a website for bullied students that taught black magic.

Enchanted a bunch of dildos to follow and bludgeon funeral protesters.

>>52727387
I can't wait for you to encounter you half-gnoll son

>>52727404
>implying

None of those are bad, anon.

>>52727404
....technically all of those are Chaotic Neutral.....

>>52725433
Nothing super fucked up honestly. The worst it got was in a sort of superhero game where the one really nice one got pushed a bit to far. Basically at the end of the fight he transformed back to his normal self and finished it by just straight up choking the guy out.

I mind swapped myself with a few day old Time Dragon and accidentally killed most of my party and the BBEG mid speech in an attempt to age myself up to become more powerful.

>>52725433
I mercy-killed Jesus with a pistol.

It didn't have an in-game effect besides him being told that when his time finally came, it would be equally quick and painless.

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>>52727427
That would be pretty awkward.

I didn't even remember humans were compatible. But then humans are compatible with most humanoids.

Not especially, the worst I did surgically removed someone's skeleton, raised it as an undead, had it beat him within an inch of his life, then skinned him.

I wouldn't say I've had a PC do something especially heinous though.

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>>52725433
friend of mine played a minotaur that literally raped another party member and came on his fur (he was a catman)
he then tricked the catman to admitting he cleaned himself with his tongue
typing this out it sounds really magic realmy but i promise it was not

>>52727589
>but i promise it was not
Well maybe it's because I've gone cold turkey on fapping but color me aroused.

>>52725570

Girlfriend of one of my players joined for ~5 sessions where she acted out cheating on that player's character with another PC.. and then eventually with that player in RL

>>52727589
Was he a furry?

>>52727577
If you're missing your skeleton, I'd say you're already within an inch of your life, no beating required.

>>52727641
i don't think so, he is a black weaboo who at the time was a little socially maladjusted
great guy though
>>52727630
the only thing arousing about the minotaur was his scythe criticals

>>52727589
Why did he rape his friend PC?

>>52727719
a. minotaur player is an asshole
b. catman player is designated punching bag

the catman player didn't even realize the implications of cleaning his fur with his tongue until the rest of us started busting out laughing at what that implied

>>52727745
>minotaur player is an asshole
Kek.
>catman player is designated punching bag
Double kek.

>>52727430
>>52727476
Well, they were as close as I came to 2edgy4u.

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Tainted his mistress's medicine so that she would miscarry his unborn son that her infertile husband believed to be his so that her husband would have no male heir, only a psychopath daughter who didn't know the player was actually her father

>>52727826
I'll show you edgy!
>>52727837
I-I can't top this....

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>>52727837

>>52725433
This guy in my group jacked off into our mac n cheese snack before the game started.

>>52727895
There are very few times when the need for holy judgement manifests in our world enough to allow for a miracle, but this shit sounds like it needs a smitin'.

Sacrifice an orphanage.

>>52725433
It was a Kindred of the East game. she was playing a Devil tiger infiltrator, looking about 15. We had captured a hengeyakoi warrior, and needed to interrogate him.

She said she would take care of breaking him.

She started by taking off her leather catsuit. Then she flayed herself alive, taking aggravated damage for it. She flayed herself alive, sliced pieced off her internal organs, with just her hands, feet, and face having skin left, and laid out the sliced off bits around herself decoratively.

Then she said, "Your turn," as she played with her beating dead heart while it was still in her chest.

GM didn't even bother to fucking roll willpower.

>>52727970
>GM didn't even bother to fucking roll willpower.
I wouldn't either.

>>52727895
Are you the guy who gamed with virt?

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>>52725433
It's a second hand story from my friends group so I'm gonna hit the major points I can remember from what he told me. It was the worst story I have ever heard in my life.

>group makes characters in 3.PF
>they play normally for 6 months
>decide to switch to 5e
>decide they'll migrate their characters over to the new edition
>the way they decide to do this is with the some sort of conversion chart for monsters that one of them found on some fucking paheal image or something
>the paladin player ends up with game breaking powers because this doesn't work
>they roleplay the paladin being broken AF
>they roleplay gods giving him powers because he's already so powerful?
I don't fucking get it, don't ask me.
>gods give him the ability to turn into a dragon
>gods give him the ability to stop time
>gods give him the ability to eat souls
>game focuses on the """paladin""" doing edgy shit to/at/with gods while the other party watches him anime style
>one time he stops time while the party is resting at an Inn
>he rapes the female player's female character out of fucking nowhere
>the female player does not want to be raped in game
>the paladin and the DM role play the whole rape to conclusion anyway
>the paladin role plays being upset he raped someone
>the rape victim role plays being upset she was raped
>the game keeps going for some reason
>god(s)? come down and tell the player that his sin is too great
>taking the virginity of an unmarried woman is a sin in the eyes of the forgotten realms pantheon
>as punishment he must marry her or her soul will go to hell because it is unclean
>they role play a marriage
>currently they role play being a married couple while doing more, edgier, shit

All the original players are still in the group, and the female player is dating one of the other non-paladin players. I'm pretty sure most of these people have some sort of mental disorder since none of them has the will or desire to stop this evil. They deserve each other.

>>52728165
the fuck

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>>52728165

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>>52728165

What the fuck?

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>>52728165
What the blueberry fuck.

>>52728165
Anon.

You need to kill them.

You need to save them from themselves. Please.

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>>52728165
>the paladin role plays being upset he raped someone

>>52728287
this

>>52728165
Holy kek, are they muslims ?

>>52725972
Cannibal Corpse fan detected.

Man, everything I can think of feels downright tame compared to most of this shit.

Have had a furfag try to fuck his animal companion though.

>>52728455
do tell

>>52726275
You make Tyranids look fucking civilized.

>>52728469

Not much to tell, really.

Guy was playing a elf druid (female), GM declared that if he wanted his animal companion he would have to tame a wild animal, player tried to "tame" a wolf by trying to get it to fuck his druid. Everybody at the table have him the gaze of "dude, what the fuck?" So he gave up and we never spoke of it again.

>>52728367
I think the real question is; what's the difference between traditional conservative islam, and autistic role playing?

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My friend severed a female NPC's spine then knocked her unconscious and refused to play the game anymore after she woke up because he knew he'd have to face the consequences of his actions. It was a post-apocalypse campaign with all manner of weird cthuluoid creatures and different factions and cults (think Apocalypse World). I finally got them back into the campaign after almost a year, and he ended up giving her a folded up note saying he was sorry for what he had done to her. This was after she had found out she was crippled and shouted at the character about how "fucking sick!" he was then dissolved into crying.

One of the other PCs started taking care of her and there was a faint sense of romance. The character who did it to her eventually gave her a handwritten note saying he was sorry for what he did. Now she is dying of infection and the character is driven by guilt to try to save her.

>>52725433
As part of a ritual to an evil god, our evil cleric peeled a man's face off over the course of about three hours (in game). Not proud that I let that slide

>Playing 5e
>Grimdark 2edgy4u world
>After being captured by orc bandits, DM decides they want some of dat sweet half-elven bussy
>Upon penetration, I try to cast shocking grasp, using my asshole as a focus point.
>"Your hands are tied up, so you can't perform the components properly."
>Burn a sorcery point and use Subtle Spell.
>"The orc shaman counterspells you."
>He doesn't know I'm casting anything
>Electrocute his cock.
>Other player tells me I can make spell slots from points
>Dimension Door the fuck out of there.

>>52728664
At the time, I mean. He was basically on the end of a magical leash by the end of the campaign

A dwarf in my group after completing a quest for a family, murdered the father and daughter. cut off the girls face, and proceeded to fuck the dead father screaming whose the pretty princess.

>>52728701
while wearing the girls face"

Stood by as our elven cleric quite literally throat fucked the headless body of a head priestess in front of the shrine to her god, after we let said priestess get assassinated.

He wanted to somehow resurrect her into his sex slave too, didn't care if it was undead or proper resurrection.

>be Meat, a mentally handicapped amnesiac who was discarded from a magical super soldier experiment
>travel with Harkins, the magic academy dropout who broke Meat out of the bio department to use as a lacky
>time skip a month, in a mountain listed in some notes Harkins stole before leaving the academy
>joined by self conscious cleric with drinking problem and random merc #27
>it's a fucking cult compound, with regenerating grey skinned manlets and everything
>we had to either burn them alive or cut of all their limbs and chuck them down the mountain to stop them from coming back in the middle of it
>get to big ritual room, take out the tougher mooks defending the non-manlet summoner dude
>Meat is the only one still conscious at this point, summoner dude too busy with ritual to notice that guards are dead
>at this point I say fuck it, down half a jug of "swamp shine" (nat 20 when trading with lizard folk, amnesiac barter skills)
>fail constitution check, projectile vomiting into the ritual circle
>causes summoner to flip shit, goes on rant about centuries of lost progress
>still vomiting, curled up in fetal position
>summoner decides to rush it
>nat 1
>big ass void opens up, unspeakable monstrosity reaches out, grabs summoner, void closes

>>52728780
>head priestess

not anymore

>>52728861
u damn right it was funny as heell, DM gave party resurrection Macguffin, first thing Cleric asks? You can we res priestess? DM fed up retcons the whole event.

>be druid/warlock who learned how to animate dead
>had NPC group got friendly with and convinced to join us as a hireling fighter
>Have to deal with a trio of were-animals who were trying to raise an undead army
>NPC hireling gets killed and eaten by horde of zombies
>Get through quest, kill two of the lycanthropes
>Third, a wereboar, decided to mouth off and insult dead NPC
>I chained him up in silver
>Sealed him in a suit of armor
>Chopped off his hand, replaced it with a mace
>Told him he will spend his afterlife serving me
>Slit his throat with silver blade
>Cast animate dead, brought him back as an armored tank
>Served me well for almost two years worth of sessions, just recently died to a beholder's trap

>>52728800
This sounds like one hell of an adventure.

>>52728675
Hahaha holy shit

My group asked a kobold about who his boss was. Wouldnt talk. My dragonborn informed him that the dragonborn would eat him alive til he talked.
Kobold scoffs.
Lomg story short, there was a white dragon in the hidden last chamber, and my dragonborn got to fight it on a relatively full stomach

>>52729078
Hot.

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>>52728455
>Man, everything I can think of feels downright tame compared to most of this shit.

i'm kinda in the same boat here but i'll share anyway.

playing a literally retarded half-vamp gnoll. 5 int 30 str 12 wis, other stats unimportant. 3.5 if it matters.
was to stupid to realize killing was wrong and none of my party ever told me to stop in or out of character so being in town didn't stop me from getting my murder on to get my recommended daily dose of blood or food whenever i was hungry. out of courtesy, and cause gnolls are lazy shits, i'd often loudly announce that i was hungry or thirsty (in the vampy way) before going off to fix the problem myself, give them a chance to head of the problem before it started, they rarely did.
his worst acts were
catching random townsfolk and boiling them alive in the big cauldron he used for a backpack and using their screams as a pop up turkey timer. (when they stop they're done cooking)
killing guards that tried to stop me from "cooking".
breaking the virgin wild elf's pussy so hard even an NPC healer in town couldn't fix it without a regeneration (which the party did not shell out for, it was her own damn fault)
killing said cleric apprentice with surprise butt sex (not by choice but its a kinda long story i've shared before in other threads)
genociding an entire race (seriously fuck xenomorphs, don't even feel bad about it)
"peeling" a captive elf and rolling him in sand because he wouldn't stop talking shit about gnolls to my face. he didn't know i spoke elvish, know thy favored enemy.
numerous instances of slave taking and subsequent slave eating.

i can elaborate on any of these points if anyone's curious.

>>52725433
Our party ended up slaughtering a bunch of teenagers who were currently thralled by some vampires.
We were trying to push through them slowly using non-lethal attacks, but they knocked out Sorcerer prone and started stomping on him, so he cast Fireball and we just kinda went for it.

>>52728165
This entite pod$t

>>52725433
>Evil Campaign, 3.5
>party has a village of bugbear mouths to feed
>werebear attacks
>Hold Monster on the werebear
>party cannibal suggests they eat bear stew
>players ask if werebear turns back into a human upon death
>yes, so killing it would result in less meat
>party uses healing magic to keep it alive as they start cutting limbs for meat

Ate his own earwax.

In real life.

>>52728901
Honestly, this is my first dnd game and I've said about half the stuff that has happened up to this point. Which includes
>breaking out of the academy bio department right after character creation
>pissing of the orc pumped full of steroids in the cell next to Meat, which escaped to go on a rampage, killing the bio professor and an untold number of civilians
>Harkins stealing the professor's notes on our way to get smuggled upstream on a merchant barge
>defending said merchandise barge from a goddamn river wurm at 3 in the morning
>Meat trading the wurm corpse with some... friendly lizard folk without realizing what he's doing
>some river bandit shenanigans
>dicking around in town for a few days until we leave for the next one
>I think meat wrestled a bear around this point
>picked up Ralph, the sorriest excuse of a cleric you've ever seen, to escort him on his pilgrimage
>orc bandit shenanigans
>bribed a traveling dwarven merchant with swamp shine, apparently they can't handle it
>something something crazy elf thing that thought he was a reincarnated God (we let my little cousin play for a few sessions) that kept trying to snort random powders off of the ground
>somehow pissed off the local mob, they're holding our cart ransom (it's a nice, canvas topped one we got custom made on the fist town after mugging the river bandits)
And more to come

>>52726853
Sorry for being a newfag, but losing the ability to post?

>>52729550
Anon, I do that all the time.

>>52729769
He's probably going to work or something

>>52727404
>Enchanted a bunch of dildos to follow and bludgeon funeral protesters.

You must be the highlight of every session you're in.

Do go on.

>>52726149
Oldfag. I posted it, oh, must have been 3-4 years back by now, in considerably more detail.

>>52727745
>catman player is designated punching bag

Of course it was, the only reason Khajiit exist is so every other race has something they look down upon.

>>52728675
"...and from then on my pussy is called my spell slot!"

>>52729833
Clarification, the box of dildos was us botching a pickup of weapons- the GM was feeling particularly vindictive. We managed to get the stuff, but we had a box of dildos lying around regardless.

One of our clients, a nice guy and a gay man, had died due to an enemy hit. A westboro baptist expy was protesting his funeral. My mage took offense to this, but couldn't just start killing people.

Hence: Dildo swarm of vengeance.

>>52729120
Come on, elf pussy. It's /tg/ after all.

>>52726990
I need to start building these as my ranger

>>52727895
The guy in that group sounds like the guy on /k/ that fed everyone cum brownies in one of their meetups

>>52729972
"Dildo Swarm of Vengeance" sounds like some sort of Magical Realm spell.

Used the monster body shapechange and the rubber body spells to cum inflate an evil witch.

>>52730212
Such hotness in this thread.

I used the spells monster body and rubber budy to cum inflate an evil spellcaster to death.

>>52725843
So, run of the mill SS13 game.

>>52725433
My group recently stuck a candle of truth up a guys ass and interrogated him. It got results, but man that was just a weird game.

>>52730222
If you want details we were playing Wrath of the Righteous. I was playing a paladin tiefling and just we defeated Areelu Vorlesh.
My PC was so fucking mad at that bitch for what she did all her life and it was so obvious that she couldn't be reedemed that thought it was poetic justice she be executed through murderfuck so my PC transformed himself into a centaur after using enlarge person and then force that psycopath to drank the rubber body potion (all courtesy of our party's alchemist).

>>52725582
>I once had a game where one of the characters, a rogue IIRC, had a background about his mother being literally a whore and him growing up in the streets and becoming a thug, and adventuring to try to get out of that life.
Oh, hi Amos.
>Later on, as he got more successful, they swung back to their hometown. He looks up his mother, and pays her pimp to force her to fuck his horse, all the while ranting about how she could have left all of this behind if she wasn't stupid and weak, as the money he needed to pay for this was an afternoon's earnings for him.
WHAT THE FUCK AMOS

>>52730313
The thing is that when she was aboyt to blow she gurgled something on being back once her soul reached the Abyss.
Joke was on her as our party's wizard had ready a soul stone as well as a thanadaemon waiting to take such item back with him to Abaddon.

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>>52728165
>the paladin role plays being upset he raped someone
>the rape victim role plays being upset she was raped
What in the fuck

>>52728455
I wish I had stories to tell period

>>52728165
That can't be the only story you have from those lunatics.

>>52728602
>sever someone's spine
>feel guilty enough to apologise but not quite guilty enough to actually apologise to their face
>leave an A4 piece of paper with the words "whoops my b" on it
you can call me "Hand Grenade" because my sides just exploded

Black Crusade game, we had a Slaaneshi heretek who very interested in turning captives into servitors that mtached his bizarre aesthetic sense. He also kept some prisoners around as assistant, fitted with explosive collars that woudl go off if he died or they disobeyed him. He had also secretly fitted explosives to all bionics he had done for the rest of the group, which came to bite us in the ass when he got killed during combat and suddenly the party chaos space marine came down with exploding knee syndrome as both his bionic legs blew off.

>>52730356
>Amos
Who?

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Our party was tasked with hunting down Tiamat's cult. We found them, managing to stumble in as they were preparing to sacrifice a woman. Now I tell my party that we should save the woman, since it seems clear what the situation is: she's surrounded by guys with blades trained on her. My party members, however, insisted that she might be the ring leader since she was wearing the same robes and standing in the middle of them. Before we can formulate a plan, our ranger shoots and kills her. This summons Tiamat. I prayed to Bahamut to teleport us away so I can warn the nearby town, which fucks everything up in the process. See, she knew what all the followers of Bahamut were doing at all times and she used this to follow us. My party stood with me as I tried to fight her and prevent the town's destruction. We got blown up for our trouble.

Tl;dr: party completes ritual to summon evil goddess, resulting in the fantasy equivalent of Hiroshima.

>>52730212
>evil witch.
Should have switched sides.

>>52726650
To turn it on you had to lick it good, right?

>>52730518
Nobody is gonna call you hand grenade

>>52727427
>Not half-gnoll daughter

>>52725433

I've seen a PC break an enemy's fingers before putting a noose around his neck. Then the PC told him, with the surety of a complete prat:

> "Look, I'll give you a fair chance. Untie the noose, and I'll let you walk away."

Before he hauled on the rope, he went:

> "I'm disappointed, I guess you just didn't want it enough."

>>52725433

Call of Cthulu game. My players visited a town in Louisana, and investigated suspicious activity. It turned out that no, it wasn't cult activity, it was the KKK.

The real cult activity was taking place on a swampland plantation, with Deep One hybrids. The PCs rallied the KKK, and they attacked the plantation with a substantial force of Loyal White Knights, shotgunning and lynching everyone there for the crime of 'miscegenation'.

I just sort of sat back, awed.

>>52725433
An hour ago one of my players downed a Yakuza enforcer, coup de graced him with a car door, and proceeded to tear off his cybernetic jaw as a trophy.
A cybernetic jaw necessitated by a beating the PC themselves had administered two years prior.

>>52731999
I don't know, that seems like a pretty sensible course of action in the circumstances.

In order to interrogate a captive I first established he knew how to write then using healing magic and some pliers cracked open all his teeth, stretched and fused the nerve roots in order to form a 'fleshy harp' and 'played his screams' until he was willing to write down what he knew.

>>52731390
Half-succubus witch CE and devout of Deskari who open a wound in reality that did connect straight to The Abyss wrecking a noble savage nation. Nothing to convert here.

Party and me were lost in the woods trying to get somewhere, and got ambushed at night by a Drow hunting party. My character liked to climb up into trees or high places to sleep, just so I'd have a chance of not being seen in just such an event (ambush, not drow specifically).

They managed to not spot me, and everyone was at least able to get to their feet before they closed into melee thanks to the monk on watch warning us. So, their leader goes for the fighter, who was at the base of the tree, and without his armor on. I make my stealth rolls, climb down the back side of it, crawl behind some bushes to the next tree over where our horses were tethered.

So I got some rope, secured one end to the horse, and the other end into a lasso. I got lucky on my roll and got it perfectly around her neck and yanked, pulling her onto the ground. That was 2 rounds of combat already. The fighter knocked her ass back down when she tried to get up, and when my turn rolled around again, I slice the horse's tether with my short sword, slapped it on the behind as hard as I could, and yelled "HYAAA!", sending the horse off like a bat out of hell.

I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. DM ruled the remaining drow were demoralized from seeing their leader dragged off by the neck at high speeds, trying to scream, and were promptly mopped up.

Later we were worried that she might have survived and come back for revenge, but just a few hours later, the horse came back and caught up to us, still dragging the dead drow.

I was please with myself for being clever at the time, but only realized how that might be a little fucked up after the fact.

>>52729120
What were Xenomorph's doing in your fantasy world?

>>52725720
Anon, I'm pretty sure they were explicitly expecting him to escape somehow

>>52731958
>Take the Knot

We played a Dark Eldar raider campaign. 'Nuff said.

With another group, we played an upstart cabal of widely defined magic users and their enforcers. Think of Gangs of New York 2: Arcane Boogaloo, but with no good Irish boyos, and with freelance magic being outlawed due to pressure from the single ruling Magic Guild and The Church. So obviously at first racketeering, a little backstreet sorcery. But the appetite grows with what it feeds on, so after a while we were staging assassinations and burning down city blocks as deals with possibly demonic powers. Then came clashes with Church's paladins and Guild's mage hunters, who were supposed to deal with this kind of things. When they failed, the State stepped in. Then it got really fucked up, because we were too drunk on power and proud to accept Guild's offers of admittance, but also not strong enough to fend of the army, whitch came with it's own battlemages. So to win with them, we did what they could not, and that is summon barely bound manifestations of demons into our world.
It ended with the Guild being disbanded, us declaring the city as an independent city-state, and a nation-wide mage uprising. Thousands have died.

>>52731999
Now thats a fun mental image.

>need info from some noble's thug but he ain't talking
>torture him in a disused cistern, about half a foot of stagnant muck around our feet
>we go the whole nine yards, pulled out nails and teeth, cut skin between fingers and toes, put hot peppers in eyes, took off most of his skin, waterboarded him
>I heal him right back up, give him water food and a day of rest
>repeat the entire torture process
>heal him up again then we tried asking him for the info
>he spills guts
>we torture him the exact same way again and heal him up
>see if his story is the same
>it is
>leave him tied to a chair in the cistern

>>52725433
Rape the party's druid (male) and ranger (female) simultaneously while they were being gnawed apart by crocodiles.

>>52733262
Who were you during this? And how were you raping two people at the same time without being gnawed by the crocodiles also?

>>52725433
My players once dug up a messenger and cut up her belly to see if by any chance she'd swallowed the message she was supposed to deliver.

I set a wooden house full of goblins on fire and barricaded all the exits.

Warhammer RPGs (Dark heresy, Rogue trader, Only war, etc)
>nuked a hive because of bad intel
>Killed the last of a noble, proud and ancient race that only wanted peace.
>Melted mutants into red goo, used red goo to write message on the wall scaring the other mutants out of town
>Injected a Dark Eldar toxin into some POW's for shits and giggles and also to see what it did.
>Cleared an enemy stronghold with acid-gas, after welding the doors shut.

>>52733366
There's nothing wrong with killing greenskins unless their women are delicious busty shortstacks.

>>52725433
Dark heresy campain, it was comming to an end, out of an 8 people's group only 2 were remaining in the final fight against a necron lord. One of the two survivors was a Psycker, he decided to use the hardest spell he has while being wounded and on the bring of insanity. He even asks for me to do all the stupidest shit to him possible. Unsurprisingly the spell failed and opened a portal to the Warp that let out a Great Unclean one.

>>52733685
Oh... well then, How did your GMing lead to two of your player's characters being both raped AND eaten alive by crocodiles at the same time? Were the crocodiles raping them?

>>52733305
I was the DM, first time. I wasn't a very good DM, but I've learned from the experience. The player had beaten the crocodiles into submission which is why he wasn't in danger.

>>52733397
All perfectly reasonable Inquisitorial behaviour.

>>52726990
>bags of fuck you
>dm calls them warcrimes
my sides have officially left orbit

>>52733703
I'll elaborate: The party was sneaking along a shallow river to avoid raiders. At one point they accidentally bumped into and aggravated some crocodiles. Due to poor rolls, the ranger and druid were knocked unconscious. When it came around to the barbarian's turn, I let him know that he was strong enough to fight off the remaining crocodiles and suggested he stabilize his friends. Instead, he said "I rape them." As he did this, one crocodile tried to wrestle the druid away from him while the other attacked him. He continued his depravity without fighting back for a couple rounds due to lucky rolls, until he was finally hit, at which point he fought them off. After the ordeal, the the barbarian's player quit due to boredom, the ranger's player had his character commit suicide and rolled up a sorcerer, and the druid's player was only disappointed that they couldn't be friends with the crocodiles.

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>woman and man lovers PCs, roleplayed by guys
>both want to have a kid
>DM performs a immaculate conception at the female PC because why the fuck not
>joy
>has some wierd symptoms
>Turns out that she was actually raped by random incubus
>she is pregnant
>this thing grows so much that she passes out constantly because of the pain
>they decide to get rid of it
>try to get it out through the vagina
>too tight
>Caesarian operation with a sword
>pull out the demon\infant mutant
>kill it
>it dies
>sew woman PC's belly with an umbilical cord

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>>52729120
>literally retarded
>somehow a polyglot

>>52730010
well since you asked.
>find love potion in random loot
>party wizard pockets
>later gives to the only girl in party (in game and irl)
>drinks without question, thinking it was a cure for the zombie plague going around, which he then handed her so she didn't die.
>dm said it affects her and a person she can see of her choosing.
>she cant decide between the gnome wizard, half elf barbarian, halfling rogue or the slavering, bloodthirsty, 8 foot tall murder dog.
>labels us 1-4 respectively and rolls a d4
>4
>goes with it despite being able to chose otherwise.
>YouHaveChosenPoorly.jpg
>i'm given a will save which of course i fail, so the gnoll is smitten with an elf barely half his size (absolute low end of mid size whereas i was max for mid)
>fast forward to post crawl tavern
>elf and gnoll being nausiatingly cute
>sitting on his lap and feeding him
>party nervious for her since most things that get near his mouth die screaming.
>fears unfounded for once
>she leads him back to the bedroom
>no roll necessary to seduce
>with 5 int, 30 str cant justify tenderness, its just mating.
>what started as consentual sex is now rape
>she cannot escape the grapple monster
>party hears screaing and fears the worst.
>kick in the door
>see gnoll pounding the elf like a cheep, barely conscious fleshlight.
>the halfling vomits
>the wizard laughs hysterically
>the half elf picks the door back up and puts it back
>brain bleach for everyone
>she takes unarmed damage twice from the 30 str trip to pound town
>nearly kills her cause she didn't bother to heal after the dungeon crawl
>she took the knot wether she wanted it or not
>pussy has gone from virgin tightness to a wizards sleeve in less than one hour
>fast forward to the next moring
>cleric sees bowlegged she elf and asks whats wrong
>she shows him the still messy wreckage of her pussy
>to his credit, he does not vomit
>offers lesser restoration and a little healing for free out of sympathy
>can't unDonk her pussy

>>52725808
how long did that fight take?

>>52734485
Oh hey, I remember this. I think last time had a little more detail, but I'm not complaining.

>>52731943
I actually thought about this since other anon said. You know that's actually an interesting idea.

I will ask DM this, see what he thinks.

>>52732522
my DM was an old school grognard who was having issues throwing monsters at us that i didnt just hack down or grapple and suck dry. so instead of revising his stratagy of send single large enemys as bosses he watched aliens again and drew up what he called the barbarian trap to punish me and the half elf barb. in game it was justified as a simic experiment (gene splicing mad scientists for those not familir with MTG lore). big old building full of facehuggers that popped and delt acid damage if overkilled or hit with anything but bludgeoning, no save allowed just 3d6 ever. fucking. time. my poor gnoll got face raped a dozen times but never fell uncocious because of his monsterous fort save. the wizard was literally the only one who could kill these things without taking damage to body AND gear, again, no save just douchery. try to go outside and get a log to smash them with so i don't break every weapon i own. get attacked by a squad of clerics from a guild i'd majorly pissed off for daring to leave the tracks of the pain train. lure them into the facehuggers and other vaugely xenomorph themed enemy. kill them, kill the rest of the (abandoned) hive. dm kept dragging in more of these fuckers anytime he felt like screwing me over. eventually culminated in a battle with the queen the simic had bread. ungoddly overpowered, dropped me in 3 hits, no crits. had enough of his bullshit so once i got healed up stepped back and chucked a 4 charge necklace of fireball at her and detonated it with another fireball from the helm of brilliance i'd found as random loot. over 200 d6 later she was a smoking ruin and i was free to mop up ever last fucking egg she'd laid. felt good to be done with that shit.

>>52734044
you do know you can spend two skillpoints to learn a new language right? had to do that for common as well cause i started only speaking gnollish

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>>52732104
Jesuth chrith.

>>52733406
It's even better since goblins have fast conception.

>>52734652
yeah tried to keep it to one post this time. as often as i get asked to share that story i should really just pre type it and save it for consistency sake. seems one can't mention wrecking elf pussy on /tg/ without getting asked for story time, not that i mind sharing i just find it funny.

>>52734707
Why the fuck was your dm surprised your 30 strength character was literally steam rolling everything? That is literally godly strength. You could have punched gods to death. How did you cheat 30 str onto your character sheet with no one noticing?

Why weren't you a muscle wizard?

>>52726816

But Thallax aren't lost. They're still used in 40k. the heretek is literally wasting his life.

>>52734792
Started with 18 base from rolled stats.
+4 from gnoll
+2 from half vamp
+2 from size due to enlarge monster belt
+4 from stat increases due to leveling

Sometimes +4 from rage
So i guess i was only at a 28 while making elf pussy pudding cause i took of the belt that normally had me at about 16' tall and just under a ton. I'd have had an elf condom at that point and she most certainly would have died. Despite how murderhoboy Donk was I've never killed another PC and i really didn't want my only PC kill to be with my characters dick. Bad enough later that session the wizard used suggestion to make me go for round 2 on the elf. She pulled a disguise switcharoo with the clerics apprentice and i failed every single roll to recognize that. He was only lvl 2 so surprise buttsex killed the poor guy. He didn't even speak common. RIP little cleric, i didn't want to but the dice, the DM and the wizard made me.

>>52734792
Oh and donk thought he was a wizard if that counts. The wizard got posessed or something and tried to fireball us. I threw a magic peble that turned into a much larger rock, blocking his line of sight. Forever more donk thought he cast counterspell and grabbed up any idem that shot spells a knucklehead like him could use

>>52725433
There's only one thing that will top one player conning us into taking part in domestic terrorism to give him a power boost to be able to fight with the BBEG. And that's the other player knowing his plan, going along with it because "I'm lawful evil."

>>52725433
My only shadowrun character ever was a bored, affluent, rich son of a CEO who spent way too much time listening to metal/reading the anarchists cookbook. Most of the character was devoted to points in explosives and chemistry.
By the end of about 5 sessions, I had blown up an office building, a police station, a parking garage, a public library, several houses, a large section of freeway, and a hospital.
I also blew up part of a mental asylum but that was offscreen/in backstory during a timeskip.

>>52730925
>We found them, managing to stumble in as they were preparing to sacrifice a woman. Now I tell my party that we should save the woman, since it seems clear what the situation is: she's surrounded by guys with blades trained on her. My party members, however, insisted that she might be the ring leader since she was wearing the same robes and standing in the middle of them. Before we can formulate a plan, our ranger shoots and kills her. This summons Tiamat

Never fails.

>>52735296
Oh, I also blew up a high school, but no one was in it so it may as well not count

>>52732104
Holy shit thats brilliant. Stolen. Not sure for what yet, but stolen.

Maybe combo'd with that scene from Hannibal? the throat cello.

>>52726990
What ARE the effects of inhaling poison ivy smoke?

>>52736037
Fucking HORRENDOUS.

You know how people break out in a rash of blisters? "The blisters and oozing result from blood vessels that develop gaps and leak fluid through the skin." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxicodendron_radicans#Effects_on_the_body

Now imagine that in your lungs and respiratory tract.

>>52725433
Implicitly fucked up?
Star Wars: we (I was playing) set a ship to ram in to a planet at lightspeed. 300 tonnes converted into energy is a lot. 30,000,000,002 casualties. The 2? PCs, one of whom only died because the only 2 with piloting skills left him in the ship.

Explicitly?
ASOIAFRP: (I DM'd) player set a castle gate to fall on and crush a pair of lovers. Even dragged the woman under it as she tried to crawl away begging for the mother's mercy

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>>52729326

I see nothing wrong here

>>52736184
This guy had it right. Its HORRIBLE. And very very effective against everything that isn't a construct it undead. Everything needs to breathe. Just need a figure out more plants to derive suchlike things from. I can control the FUCK out of an area; wizard knows wind wall, which keeps us safe. How does one derive mustard gas from plants? Or just natural things?

>>52727895
hot

>>52736551
I've also presently got a shelleleigh with rust monster antenna attached at the top, and a magnet in the knotty bit. I call it my honing helmbreaker. Straight crippled a man with it by breaking his leg and the flipping it around and bending the broken metal into his flesh far enough to sever tendon.

>>52733753
Don't fuck with Galen. He'll share a meal with you and be nice for a while, but you better skedaddle after he's done with you, or you'll be done. He's the party Face too, for maximum irony.

In character:
>torturing an orc for information
>ripping out his tusks, gouging out his eyes, etc.
>he dies because of 6 people taking turns stabbing this dude
>the bard resurrects him so they could keep torturing him

Out of character: While I'm not a DM, I host the games at my house.
>New guy
>irredeemable weeb, treats 5e like its pathfinder
>group doesn't like the guy already
>gets caught fudging dice rolls one night
>enough for me and the DMs to start planning a way to get rid of this guy
>he starts making a weird noise
>like he's spitting
>one of the other players asks what he's doing
>he's been chewing his fingernails and spitting them out on my kitchen floor
>player who noticed goes off on him
>demands that he pick them up, calls him out for being disgusting
>I'm glad she did, I was too dumbfounded to say anything
>finish game
>immediately talk to dms about how we need to kick this guy out

>>52727970
As a KotE GM, I can say she was playing it entirely right. In fact, I wish my players would try to play characters with alien moralities like something more than just normal people who happen to be assholes.
The Devil-Tigers are meant to be like that. They're meant to elicit disgust and horror, because they see their Second Breath as a chance to explore every nook and cranny of wickedness and evil so they will never lose to those forces that actually wish to see the world destroyed or just spread suffering indiscriminately.
If a Devil-Tiger balks at something like that, she fears pain, she fears gore and she fears becoming evil. All those things are weaknesses in the Devil-Tiger worldview - you need to never flinch the slightest at the tricks of evil, then be able to throw that and more right back at them. Through understanding the ultimate evil, you come to understand what is wrong and what is regrettably needed, and you can use that to cut the true evil out of the world.
No fucking wonder everyone thinks they're lunatics. Also, no fucking wonder it's a White Wolf game.

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>>52729945
pretty good, anon

>>52725433

I had a player pretend they were being possessed by a demon irl. Probably the cringiest thing I've ever seen. We stopped hanging out with her.

Still not sure if she actually believed it or not

>>52725720
>Yiff in hell
Good end

>>52730645
Exploding Knees is my favorite Future Meme.

>>52730037
Yes you do. Cleverness > Strength

>>52728165
tell more.

>>52736729

>In character
Kinda edgy.

>OOC
Not edgy at all. Spitting on the floor is unsanitary even if it's your own home. But chewing up fingernails in addition to that? That's just disgusting.

>>52735000
>>52734485
It sounds like your party wizard is a scumfuck Blue Falcon.

This is meant to be an explicitly evil party, right?

>>52737265
And this was the second time he'd been in my house.

How the fuck does someone think that's okay?

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My half orc barbarian tortured an orc to death: after knocking him unconscious and tying him up against a tree, he kicked him in the junk and then proceeded to pulp his face with steel gauntlets, like in pic related.

He also captured a minotaur with the party and, after one of his teammates cut off the thing's horns, he taunted the cow with a translation spell cast, chopping off it's fingers with a hatchet and waking it with a red-hot iron poker when it passed out of pain and blood loss. Also gave it healing potions so it would last longer, while gouging it's eyes out and cauterizing the wounds on it's hands with the iron poker. In the end, he tied the beast upside down and drowned it in a barrel of water.

I had had a really bad day, sue me

>>52725843
Or Wednesday on SS13

>>52726086
Very CoC, matey.

When it comes to my own fetishes that's dynamite, in a public setting with friends? Shit nigger.

Did you at least subjugate the gnolls or was that it?

>>52726990
Probably gonna steal this anon. Hell, I'm half surprised it was never used during the settlement of north America.

I've only heard of it happening irl once or twice a And yeah, super nasty.

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>>52726990
>My ranger builds them and calls them Bags of Fuck You. My DM calls them warcrimes

>>52727404
>Chaotic Neutral
>Chaotic Neutral/leaning Good
>Lawful Evil
>Chaotic Hilarious

I believe you discovered a new alignment. Almost like Batman.

Got fed of one of the player's snowflake syndrome and had him stand on a fire with a command spell.
Got a nice roast, and when it ended, he tried to roll on the floor to put himself out of fire.
Not to say, I was expecting that, and honored him with a cast of grease. When he'ss finally nearing his last hp, I decide to aid him and toss one of our water skins. The dwarf's, obviously, which shortly after burst on his hands and finally died
Faggot was looking at me with a mix of hate and incredulity, the rest of the party was grinning, and DM's face let disappointment show.
I stand up and say "I'm not going to put up with him anymore, so you gotta kick one of us two"
And so, I got kicked.
Some time after, I get to talk with my former teammates, they tell me that the faggot eventually calmed down, that after I left, that faggot begged to the point of a serious offer to suck DM's dick if he let his character live, but DM was also tired of his shit, and told him that if he didnt behave, he's out too.
Eventually, DM invited me over as well, but at this point, I cant bear breathing the same air as that guy

>>52729945
"I got a metamagic rod for that spell slot..."

>>52728717
Just out of Nowhere? I mean, fuck that shit is sick.

>>52738723
Talk about bad GMing.

He should've kicked you out the moment you tried to misuse Command spell, obviously.

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>>52726897
>clitoris was pretty tight

Well, all my stereotypes about the type of people that hang out in /tg/ are confirmed!

>>52734485
>>she takes unarmed damage twice from the 30 str trip to pound town
>>pussy has gone from virgin tightness to a wizards sleeve in less than one hour
my fucking sides are gone

>>52739316
you're aware "tight" is also slang for "really good", right?

>>52736949
What did she do?

>>52740134
Chanted shit like

>"get out"
>"He knows"

Then she started clawing at people when we were packing up. Ended with her feigning amnesia and demanding we tell her what just happened.

>>52737539

surprisingly no, it started out neutral. everyone knew and was ok with me playing an evil character when we all rolled up together.
in the wizards backstory his father was known as nanfoodle the fondler and he, wizzy grabbyvalve, was a rape baby. used all fire spells when he could help it, hated being touched, liked burning whiskers and creaped on pixeys hard whenever possible. he was definitely an evil leaning character to begin with but aside from some collateral damage and the two incidents i mentioned he stayed true to his alignment pretty well.
though honestly i suspect the love potion was just a bit of lolrandom fun pulled on literal the dumbest woman i have never met. she out of game made donk look like a fucking Harvard grad with honors. the cleric's apprentice incident was pure out of game decision making on the wizards part. i was hanging my head, half in laughter half in shame for what i put the elf through when i muttered "oh this is gonna get so much worse." which the DM, who was drunk at the time, denied. wizzys player looked at him and said "wanna bet?" and thus a thousand exp for the whole party was wagered, suggestion was cast, the save was failed, donk got laid for the second time in as many days, the cleric died, we all got 1,000 exp and now i have this story to tell.
mow the part of all this that makes me the most uncomfortable is that the chick never once objected to this. i know some of you are thinking, beta chick, dumbfounded, but this girl had a serious crush on me and no tact whatsoever. on another night during MTG somehow we got talking about sexual encounters and i mentioned i'd never had my dick sucked. she blurted out loudly and excitedly "i'll suck your dick!" to which i had no polite response so i just kinda tried to laugh it off as she sat there with and expectant look on her face awaiting my answer to her proposition. let this be a lesson, you don't even have to stick your dick in crazy to have a bad time.

>>52738254
They were incapacitated but aware while I did it.

At the moment I didn't even think if it was hot, just of a way to put them down and show who was the true alpha.

It was very CoC indeed.

>>52741127
Fuck, classic 8th grade syndrome. You poor soul, I feel your pain. I too have encountered such dregs.

>>52734692
You should rape and impregnate her too!

>>52743376
Oh of course I will.

Nope. That was a cringe moment who I probably won't repeat. I'm just a sucker for consequences.

>>52738924
I'm pretty convinced he wanted his character to die too, otherwise the water jug wouldnt have exploded.

>>52725433
In-character? One guy mind-controlled another PC into being her french maid slut, forced her to stay home instead of going on the adventure and then raped her character repeatedly when they got back. A second guy murdered another PC by blowing up his helicopter with a brick of C4 stashed inside a wolf carcass. A third guy tried to make his Paladin a former mass murdering rapist with forty kids he walked out on and abandoned to die in the woods along with their literally hobbled mothers.

Out-of-character? One guy demanded the GM create a gay furry husbando for him and ranted that his character didn't have enough DPS, despite doing more damage than any two other PCs put together. Another guy assaulted me after the game because his character died. Two guys brought laptops and played WoW at the table instead of paying attention to the game.

I've had about 60% men, 40% women in my groups and I can say for sure that guys are way more prone to doing messed up crap at the table. The worst thing a female player's ever done in my presence is kill another player's character for OOC drama reasons, and she apologized after and we ret-conned it after the session.

>>52725433
I'm probably lucky in this regard, but here goes my worst:
>Running Savage Worlds fantasy campaign
>In the setting, goblins are more like classical goblins, short, ugly, and magical as fuck, but not necessarily green
>They are also a major sociopolitical force
>Civil traveling encounters with goblins are common, usually involving opportunities to trade or learn about local happenings
>I establish this for the party, as they are about to head through goblin country
>Party encounters a "short, ugly, human thing, with wrinkled skin and dark, beady eyes"
>"Hello," it sa-
>Barbarian: "I break its legs!"
>It is taken down in an instant without a fight.
>The goblin wails in pain, sobbing as it asks what it did to deserve this.
>The barbarian breaks its arms too and twists them around to turn the goblin into a living backpack.
>He proudly walks around wearing the wailing and sobbing goblin until it died of internal bleeding.
>The goblin was going to strike up a conversation about the weather forecasts.
>The barbarian continued to wear the freshly-killed corpse into a goblin town.
>"They will fear and respect me."
>No, the town guard will see you executed for your crimes.

>>52725433
Shadowrun. The party was investigating a Azlanti conspiracy and we ran into clone sacrifices. The rest of the party (barring one guy) and myself begin to chant "WAR CRIMES" when we wanted to wipe them out.

>>52743773
There's a lot of cringe and terrible things in this thread, but this one is the one that actually hurt me physically. It's legit sickening that people act this way. That goblin was going to be friendly, you supreme shitlord, and you desecrated his body. Fucking monster.

I hope you stopped playing with that person and no longer speak to them.

>>52743773
What

The

Fuck?

>>52727210
A real edgelord would have shown her how to use a persona with a training evoker, then gave her a loaded pistol and told her to show it off to her dad.

"Big Bro, watch what I can do! Perso(BLAM)"

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>>52728165
>>he rapes the female player's female character out of fucking nowhere
>>the female player does not want to be raped in game
He did it in the name of JUSTICE

>>52743773
When you say that, All I can think of is Killgar from starbarians doing that.

Kek'd hard

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>>52725433
We were playing a homebrew campaign which had the players in a ruined megacity filled with eldritch abominations and very little survivors. Party at the time consists of tiefling paladin,
halfing arcane trickster and ork barbarian.

The party adventures through a hidden passage which happens to lead into the ruined home of a family of sickly starving humans, who freak the fuck out at the sight of three filthy geared strangers popping into their home. The paladin attempts to calm them down, but the family is panicking and is obviously not in a good mental state, so the conversation leads up to the point where the father yells for his wife and kid to run. The halfling, deciding that letting them escape to the outside would only get them killed, responds by casting ray of frost at them to "slow them down". It kills the wife almost instantly, leaving her a dead frozen statue. The barbarian then decides to throw his harpoon into the son, who ran to his mother's frozen corpse, to reel him back. You can guess how that ended up. This all happens in a matter of seconds while the dad and the paladin watch, by the way. Deciding that he shouldn't leave a job unfinished, the ork breaks the frozen statue of the mother, and then executes the father after giving him a second to take in the sight of his family's corpses.

To this day I don't understand why the ork thought harpooning a frail human being was a good idea.

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>>52726976
>>52726990

I like your style and that reminds me of what happened at my last D&D session.

>playing 5e
>party is fighter, warlock, ranger, and rogue
>clearing out a bandit hideout and reach the boss of the operation and his wizard flunky
>win initiative, so I get to act first
>immediately dash in and action surge to tie up the wizard in a grapple
>he manages to teleport away a short distance
>I keep the bandit chief occupied while the rest of the party tries to deal with the wizard who is now gloating in his globe of invulnerability
>ask the warlock to blast the chief
>he gets knocked 20 feet back so I don't have to disengage
>have just enough move to reach the wizard and grapple/restrain
>search my character sheet for something to improvise a gag with
>pause as I see one particular item and get a better idea
>force a vial of alchemist's fire down his throat
>drag him out of the globe of invulnerability on my next turn while the ranger and warlock light him up
>bandit chief, due to being pushed back, did not have enough move to reach me and save the wizard

Playing a martial is actually fun this edition

He flayed alive a female werewolf in detail. While doing it, his character felt the presence of an evil god of hunt and bestial savager amused by this act and nodding in approval. He really enjoyed that.

Not yet, but I bidding my time to boil someone alive.

>>52727577
>>52727657

If you're missing your skeleton, I think you've already been skinned, also.

An old Aztec punishment: suspending a particularly hated individual over a fire stoked with chillis.

>>52747967
>not being able to remove someone's skeleton without destroying the skin
Amateur

>>52739316
Spotted hyena psuedopenises are not just clits, they in fact are basically penis-vaginas that the hyenas have sex with and give birth through,

>>52749058
You just didn't add that sometimes during birth they break open, which has a high chance of infecting and killing the hyena.

Hyenas were a mistake.

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Our party necromancer/lich nuked himself so the party wouldn't have to risk themselves fighting something ridiculously overpowered the gm was throwing at us

He handed his phylactery and magic gear to the rogue, threatened to haunt him for eternity if he broke anything, ran out of the secure bunker they were hiding in, and used the nustso anti robotics weapon they had found to cause a 10 story tall robotic golem to go nuclear and died with it, laughing

Suffice to say he got better, the gm needed to take a moment as he had wasn't really ready for the party lich to commit suicide just to show off the power of necromancy.

>That liches face when he eventually reformed

>>52729603
This sounds like a great adventuring group!

>>52749087
Oh yeah, that's the fun part. You can tell the hyenas that have given birth by their heavily scarred psuedopenises. How the fuck did they evolve those things?

>>52747967
>not teleporting their skeleton outside of their body as to leave their skin intact

During one of my first games as a GM, I've had a player play a 600 pound bounty hunter who actively hunted down a player for the soul purpose of cannibalism and possible sadism[\spoiler]. The session for the victim felt like alien isolation. He did everything from hiding in vents to squeezing in small places to get away from this abomination of nature. Everytime he tried to carry out a plan to get the fatass killed, he would fuck up his rolls and go back to hiding. At the end, he got cornered with a shotgun to his face and was dragged to a table. The space cannibal chopped his limbs off with a shitty cleaver and tossed his punished torso out of the airlock.
The victim said it was a fun game.

The word 'Rape' appears 29 times in this thread

honestly not nearly enough as you'd think it would

>>52749889
rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape

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We were playing 5e, had a Halfelf Paladin, a Half Orc Barbarian, and a Halfling rouge. We're on our merry way clearing out this bandit hideout, and we enter this room with three bugbears torturing a goblin in the center. Thinking it might have info, we decided to save it. We pull on this hella rad triple sneak attack on the BBs and kill two of them. We take the 3rd hostage because he said he was the leader and his eyepatch was cool. The goblin we rescue sees how hella rad we were and decided to help us by drawing a rough map of the dungeon. Paladin rolls for it to stay with us as an NPC and the DM allows it and we name him Lil' Goblin. So as we're exploring we use his kindness as our personal 10 foot pole. We send him to check doors and open containers. He even helps in combat once in a while by distracting enemies. A little later, we're in an empty hallway with a single door towards the end. Our Paladin laughs and says, "Lil' Goblin go lick that door and tell us what type of stone it is." Barbarian uses intimidation for extra encouragement. As he approached the door DM says Roll saving throw for goblin. Turns out there was a pit fall. He misses and lands 20 feet down. "Lil G? You okay?" Paladin asks. "I am injured, master. Come get me!" Barbarian interjects with a "Why?" Goblin' s voice comes up with something about treasure. Our Halfling says that we should see what it is. So barbarian ties a rope and climbs down to grab the stuff. "Where treasure?" "The treasure was the friendship we built today" Barbarian stops, puts the goblin back on the floor and climbs back up while glaring at Lil G and informs the party of what happened. Without a word the Paladin pulls out his flask of oil and pours it down the pit. The Barbarian pulls out a matchbox and lights one. DM says Roll to ignite because it's a long drop. Mother. Fucking. 20. LilG.Hiroshima is happening. We all just stare a while and then leave. Wr never speak of it again.

>>52725582
Cops called. Suppression juice acquired. Thread's over, everyone go home.

>>52725433
>Party is in town between adventures
>Kruush, half-orc barbarian, not like being in town
>Not allowed to smash in town
>So Kruush go to tavern by docks, shout "Give 5 gold to anyone who fight Kruush"
>Customers look at each other, then at Kruush's bigass flametongue greatsword
>"No weapons"
>Grizzled looking motherfucker stands up, scars on his hands
>"Shit, I'll wrestle ya for five gold, big man"
>Kruush win fight, break man's arm
>Man look down at arm, look at Kruush
>"Ah hell, not gonna be able to work for a while"
>"KRUUSH SO SORRY, KRUUSH HELP YOU"
>Take man to temple, pay for healing on arm
>Man grateful, invite Kruush to dinner at his house
>Man is fisherman, lives with wife and kids in hut next to river
>Kruush thinks nice fisherman deserves better life
>"Kruush buy you new house, nice fisherman"
>"Uh... what?"
>Take nice fisherman and family to posh part of town, far away from stinky docks
>Find big house for sale
>"You like house?"
>"It's, uh, pretty nice I guess, but of course there's no way we could afford - "
>"KRUUSH ALREADY TELL YOU KRUUSH BUY HOUSE FOR YOU"
>Nice house costs 20,000 gold, Kruush pay with shiny rocks from dragon cave
>Fisherman and family very grateful, ask how they can repay Kruush
>Kruush tell them Kruush part of their family now
>Kruush not have family for long time
>Promise to teach fisherman children to fight good like Kruush
>Kruush have smart magic friend who help new family "in-vest" money
>Kruush not know till now that can get more money by keeping it in his vest
>New family very happy
>Kruush also happy, promise to visit new family very much
>Smart magic friend say Kruush family make good "in-vest-meants", get lots of money
>Kruush have lots of money in his vest, not getting any more though
>Oh well, still plenty of money from dragon caves

the one-shot investigation campaign was "the war will end only if the prince will marry the princess, otherwise our kingdom will be 100% destroyed, but the prince has been kidnapped!"
the retarded plot twist was "the prince actually escaped because he didn't like the princess and royal lifestyle and wanted a life of adventure; intercept him and change his mind within 24 hours". the DM was reading straight from the book.

everything in the story made pretty clear that the entire kingdom would have been turned into ashes within 24 hours, and from a metagaming perspective it was pretty clear that there were multiple ending avaible(ex: impersonating the prince) and that having the prince escape the city was a fail state.
Despite that That Guy(who is playing as the party face and is the main character of the party because the prince is his cousin) is convinced that letting the entire kingdom be wiped out because his royal cousing wanted to be a free spirit is the right thing.He proceeds to split from our party, run into the puzzles/dungeon ahead of us, burn everything in his path so that we would have had an hard time following him and escape with the prince.
Given he was trying to ruin everyone's life and we actually were doing an excellent job as a party our DM let us reach them 10 seconds before they were to sail on a ship.
we convinced him and the prince to go back to the palace one hour before the time limit.At the palace the situation was pretty tense ( the story was a bit more complicated than that with multiple factions having their hands in the intrigue) and basically everyone was about to draw their swords and fight as we arrived.
But of course we had the solution in hand: we have the prince and the princess(who was about to murder our old ass king) in the same room, mission accomplished, right?
Well no; part 2 incoming.

Well there was that time when one of our PCs pushed two others into drinking the incredibly deadly mutagen, resulting in one dying horribly and the other merging with a tree spirit.

The first hint should have been that the PC that wanted them to do it was made entirely out of mushrooms. He used to be a tiefling

>>52753570
That guy proceed to escalate the situation explaining how third parties were motivated to kill the prince and how is cousin was better left free. with a natural 20 he convinced the prince to go back to his idiotic stance.
As we try to prevent the worst he just takes his fucking bow and shoot at the freaking princess.After almost everyone murdered almost everyone else in that room we menage to escape with invisibility potions as the entire party ( one was dead i think) the prince and That guy.
We sail away on the ship and a flock of elder dragons proceed to wipe us and the entire kingom as the worst ending prescribed. the fucking end.

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>playing Drow Warlock with a big emphasis on manipulation and possession
>party tasked with finding a way to ruin the reputation of a local cult gaining influence within the city
>said cult performs animal sacrifices during religious services, otherwise are very clean and professional,have dedicated places of worship, etc.
>poison the communal liquor with powerful hallucinogens
>dominate the mind of one of their clerics
>the next service turns into a bloodbath as this cleric begins stabbing people left and right during the sacrifice
>delirious crowds fly into hysteria and start attacking everyone
>all of this spills out into the streets, dozens more people caught up and a few more are cut down in the frenzy
>every cultist that showed up is dead, and about a dozen bystanders, with me commanding the cleric to openly slit his throat while singing praises of his god
>get paid a fat-ass sack of gold for my trouble
>the rest of the party has no idea it was me

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>>52727631
This is why you don't invite girlfriends to games, much less date hoes you can't keep hypnotized with that dick.

this comes from a friend of mine

He's a wizard, along with a barbarian, a paladin, and something else I can't remember, because they aren't important.

At the start of one of their sessions, they find themselves with a bag of Crystal (think cocaine if it were made by doomrider). Someone says "lets do drugs" and he agrees because of fucking course he does.

After taking a single pinky dab, failing the saving roll miserably, ending up with pins and needles all over his body, the barbarian, now to be referred to as fuckwit, slams the ucking wizards head into the bag of crystal.

One minute later they have a wizard casting auto tracking magic missiles at cantrip level every five seconds, while his eyes are on fire, screaming in infernal because for some reason he spoke infernal. What does my friend do? He asks for the nearest most populated area.

Long story short, he runs into a bazaar, kills around 100 people, and then ends up dying from the massive shock of coming down from that high. The rest of the party is executed by the guards. This was his first fucking campaign.

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>>52749353
>h yeah, that's the fun part. You can tell the hyenas that have given birth by their heavily scarred psuedopenises. How the fuck did they evolve those things?

Hyenas used to implant eggs into dead animal carcasses back when they were dinosaurs, the pseudopenis is a leftover of that process.

>>52753355
i don't understand

>>52754725
I think he misunderstood OP.

>>52754772
Is that it? Or did I understand OP perfectly well and just not give a fuck?

>>52754465
This is "horse anus screencap" levels of disturbing.

>>52753355
As much as I am enjoying this thread, this was a charming and welcome surprise

>>52753355
kinda cute

>>52725582
>>52726270
>most likely reason why someone could want to do that is as a revenge fantasy against his own mother
No, you are the truly disturbing thing ,how you can be so far up your ass that you had to armchair-psychologist the shit out off some edgy shit for no reason at all.

What the fuck is wrong with you, you walking mangina? Are you really this desperate to show off how sane you are compared to some made up shit on the internet?

>>52726635
Why are you bothered whether someone else does or does not live out his "edgelord power fantasies"
What is your issue with "power fantasies" on the first place? Its role-playing, power fantasies are a-okay.
And why are you triggered by people being edgelords? Did one fuck your mother or fondle your happysacks when you were a kid?

>>52725634
Now that's what I call STATING THE OBVIOUS. Thanks Captain, without your timely intervention the rest of /tg/ might still be clueless what is and isn't fucking edgy.

>>52755857
A. wtf, man can have a fucking opinion, considering why someone would want to do something is whiny and desperate? do you never use that brain to try and delve deeper in anything? Retarded.

B. You are correct that arm chair psychology is bull shit and he made a strong assumption. "most likely reason why" should be changed to "a potential reason why" but thats about it.

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>>52725433
Acquired an Elf Slave.

>>52756007
>do you never use that brain to try and delve deeper in anything? Retarded.

BUT HOW CAN MIRRORS BE REAL IF OUR EYES ARENT REAL
You really made me delve deep in something here, anon.

> You are correct that arm chair psychology is bull shit and he made a strong assumption
At least something you seem to understand..

>"most likely reason why" should be changed to "a potential reason why" but thats about it.
Or maybe he did that because he had fun doing over the top edgy shit. Why do you even care about it so much? Should we delve deeper into your issues about why do you care so much about some schmuck from a fake story on an image-board?
Is it because your favourite uncle used to play cave explorer with you and you only realized just know why there never was a cave?

>>52732340
Remember, the correct answer if you feel pangs of guilt is "Nah, fuck em"

>>52730718
Its a reference to the that book series/Sifi show The Expanse. Amos is an Earther from Baltimore that grew up in a brothel and left for the asteroid belt to get out of the gang life. He's one of my favorite characters from the series.

>>52756395
>How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?

Our eyes can be misleading; how do we know we see the "true" or "real" perception of a thing? Can we truly judge something based on such a biased, fickle, and wavering thing as sight?
Who are we to judge some one else's piece of art, when we cannot understand the work or love put into the piece?
The truth is, we do not know. Our eyes are not enough to truly see.
And if we can't even judge another, how could we judge ourselves? We are, after all, ourselves - we are all skeptical when it comes to the self. "That shirt looks like shit," or "you don't even know how to write," or "that was a dumb thing to do."

But if we can't trust our eyes to see the value of another - how can we trust a mirror to show us our honest and true flaws, free of that hateful voice in our heads?

Anon... how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?

>>52728550
It's...err...

>>52725582
I mean, technically, the money to pay for that was also an afternoon's earning for her, possibly less depending on how long it took to fuck the horse. not her fault the pimp takes most of her earnings. he should have killed the pimp and let her do her own thing.

>>52756666
Shut the fuck up Hyper Satan. This is why we don't invite you to house parties any more.

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>>52757061

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>>52728800
God bless Meat

>>52756666
>Who are we to judge some one else's piece of art, when we cannot understand the work or love put into the piece?
Post-Modernism pls go and stay go

>>52725433

Push a battered wizards wife and her baby out of a bed, cus' they were slightly justified in their fear of demons.

>>52757306
That's not post-modernism. Post-modernism says the exact fucking opposite thing.

Seriously, read Death of the Author. Post-modernism gives zero shits what the creator thought, said, or felt. The work is the work, and had damn well better stand alone.

One of my players tracked down and killed four children of the some bandit who also killed one of the player's love intrest

she managed to capture said bandit alive. He was imprisoned in an abandoned Shoette (floating cell blocks in the skies where the corpses of the dead usually have this echo effect...can be a scream, a song, some rambling etc). She strapped the dead children onto his body to remind him of his deeds.

>>52732668
>Dark Eldar raider campaign.

More please?

Our secret telekinetic (who was so secret nobody else knew in-character) gave a hysterical NPC a stroke to shut her up. It killed her, so I guess it worked.

>>52725433
9/11

>>52756666
What absolute dreck. Just because our measures and feeling are subjective and imperfect is no reason to say we can't Opinions on things. If perfection and absolute objectivity are the measures required for any form judgement Then humans will never be allowed to make any. So by your "logic" nothing is true because we are unqualified to make determinations. This pseudo "shadows on the cave wall" crap is the worst kind of philosophical drivel that keeps getting passed around like a disease of the mind. The assumptions and illogic that often stem from this produce nothing but navel gazing and pothead tier pholsophising. No useful output is produced, no insight into the nature of reality and the enviable conclusion is if nothing can be judged or decerned then reality is meaningless and everything is permitted because nothing can or should mater to anyone. So take your intro to philosophy bullshit, go and stay gone.

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>>52758156
I'll give you a second.

>>52758272
I missed sarcasm again didn't i? They really oughta make a font for that.

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>>52758458
Eh, it happens. That's a quote from Jaden Smith which is why I tried to give it a "deep meaning".
Look at this guy's face - I don't think he could have even come up with that much.

>>52725433
It was a hot summer evening. Muggy and shit, even with the AC blasting it was still shitty. Fucking everything was sweating. Thought it couldn't get any worse.

Then I saw our barb player put his dripping wet drink on the wooden table...WITHOUT PUTTING IT ON A COASTER!

>>52726086
I mean, I suppose this was the proper way to go about it, since female hyenas are the ones in charge?

>>52726816
Thallax aren't lost tho, the Ordo Reductor just gifts them to anyone they like.

>>52743773
That barbarian player is someone who I wouldn't trust at all in real life after that showing of true self.

>>52731999
I really like this post.

It just feels perfect, mang.

File: tastes like iron.jpg (43KB, 500x562px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 500x562px

I had my character eat the lover of someone we had captured right in front of them.

Spat their teeth out like apple pips, sucked the marrow from their bones, I mean right over edgy and into scary town. We got a little too into it.

To be fair, they both deserved it, and the group approved, for the most part, but it still brings back some uncomfortable feelings, IC and OOC.

>>52758588
I recognized the quote i just didn't realize you were Merely Pretending. Guess i should finish waking up before I post next time. I sincerely apologize for going off on you. I've had people unironicly argue that sort of viewpoint before. Intro philosophy with assassin's creed fans leads to frustrating class discussions. He just kept going on about how platos "shadows on the cave wall" proved nihilism and somehow stretched it to try and cover his "respect my special snowflake status cause your not qualified to judge me."

>>52736184
So... con damage with a low DC? Doesn't sound too bad.

>>52731680
I'll call him hand grenade tho anon

>>52730518
Oh you whacky hand grenade

>>52756007
u 8 the b8 m8