The Pranks War

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The defenses were pretty solid: Kilometers of trenches ran around the base, backed up by walls and bunkers. It seemed invincible. The Cyprians were known for their good defensive tactics and fortifications.

When the fight intensity decreased, the materiel stopped arriving at the base. So, the Guards got bored. Started to work up, game with cards and die, and losing time in general. That was annoying for me. But the Commissars couldn't care less. The Chaplain of the Regiment was lost for days, and the TechPriests started to make modifications to the few vehicles remaining, so they started working again.

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I tried to comply, but the Regiment Staff was pretty damn busy doing nothing, so they didn't even listened to me.

The thing was getting worse. The Chaplain was still lost, and the Regiment fell into lazyness. But one night...something amazing happened.

It was a mild night, as the others at the planet, and nothing but the sentries' footsteps was heard. The Regimental Staff moved first. And started what will be known inside the Regiment as the 'Prank Wars'

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#The Regimiental Staff placed some cardboard—made, Tyranid—shaped and drawn objectives in front of every single Window the Guard's Barracks had. The Sentries didn't even noticed. Then, the alarm was raised. The Guards, scared by the bugs and the alarm, quickly grabbed their flashlights and ran towards the 'Nids. Some fools charged to a 'Carnifex' placed in front of their Barrack's door. When the Guards realised they were made of cardboard, they were pissed off so much, that even the Angry Marines would be proud. This way, a cruel war begun.

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#The Guards got some Flash/Concussion Grenades and threw them into the Staff's bunker.

#The Staff banned coffee for a month. Except for themselves.

#The Guards changed the Coffee for dirty as fuck water. It's said that the General had diarrhea for weeks.

#As summer was coming, and so, diseases, the Medicae called the entire Regiment for preemptive treatment, in form of pills. The Staff changed those pills for salt tablets. Some Guards caught the Influenza that summer.

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#The Guards, seeing that the Staff loved salt, changed the sugar in their kitchen for salt. The first morning, everyone poured 'sugar' in the Coffee. They would never do that again.

#The Staff found the ones that did the prank, and made them try every single sugar bowl in the base. The salt was found, and the Guards enjoyed a salt—rich diet during 2 weeks.

#The Guards changed the Salt for Sugar. This time, nobody was able to eat the soup. And there was a fuckton of soup cooked with sugar instead of salt. The Guards enjoyed a hell of a lot of soup the rest of the rest of the month.

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#Summer came, and so, the heat. Everybody likes cold showers in the summertime. The Staff heated the water to ~40°C for 2 weeks. No Guard had the balls to take a shower. And, at last, the Commissars did something. If you don't take a shower, you feed the water heaters with timber.

#The Guards cut off the water supply of the Staff bunker, including the showers.

#The Techpriests cut off the energy of the whole base for an entire month because the boiling—hot water prank pissed them off way too much.

#The Guards loosened the screws of the Techpriest's beds. They fell to the ground in their sleep.

#The Staff changed their sacred lubricant oil for olive oil.

#The Techpriests blew up every single household appliances in the Staff bunker.

>>52690454
Salt in coffee actually tastes fine.

I'm assuming this ends with "The commissariat shot everybody on the planet".

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This Regiment is out of hand. I strongly recommend to terminate it whole as soon as possible.

#The Ecclesiarchy Priest showed up at last. He actually drank all the beer supplies of the Regiment.

#The Guards moved the Priests to the open field in the night.

#The Staff sealed every single door in the Guard's Barracks with silicon. Most of them had to get out the building through the windows. The others took down the doors.

#The Guards tied the Staff to their beds, and, in one instance, to his chair.

Guys, I'm going to bed. And as this is not going to survive 'till tomorrow, you can post whatever you want, prank—related. Let's try to make a list.