>that girl that bakes cookies for the group

>no chicken tendies
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

My wife does this. That or always try to bring a 12 pack of soda for everyone.

We usually have people bringing things to sessions, too. I've got one guy who fairly regularly brings a bottle of wine for the host.

Never hurts to be polite.

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>>52687339
>allowing girls in your group

>>52687371
>My wife
That's gay

>>52687371
>12 pack of soda for everyone
FAT!

>>52687339
>>52687371
it's always nice to have the member who sincerely loves cooking. my friend's wife tends to badger us into coming out to the sticks to play D&D so she can cook for us.

Is this an effective way to make the other players instantly like me? Gotta keep this in mind when I join new groups.

>>52687428
Just don't make oatmeal raisin cookies.

>>52687455

That's for when you are friends breaking up with them.

>>52687392
Here's your (You) you were looking for

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>>52687339

>tfw a guy
>tfw I do this
Nigga people love my cinnamon oatmeal cookies. I bake a batch of those, a batch of chocolate chunk, and some PB cookies and bring them for the weekend. The house is crowded so I know they'll get eaten.

>>52687408
*to share
Although I will admit I drink way too much of the stuff.

>>52687421
We're the same way. Apartment is too small to host right now though, unfortunately.

Easy way to save a few bucks too if you're young and strapped for cash, too.

>>52687371
Regularly? Jesus, that's nice. I once brought my GM a bottle of rum to inaugurate a campaign, because he loves the shit out of rum.

I should learn to bake. Homemade cookies would have way more personality than a bag of chips.

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>>52687339
>That guy who makes his special brownie milkshakes

>>52687339
>that girl who sucks off the GM

>>52687641
Baking and cooking is easy, but I do it the lazy way, using Crock Pots. You toss a roast, some veggies, seasoning and water into the pot and let it sit there for a couple hours, then just make some gravy and you're good. Crock pot Brownies and Cobbler are also a snap.

>>52687641
Honestly, so long as you can follow a recipe and throw something in an oven for the correct amount of time, baking is usually pretty easy. I definitely recommend it to anyone who shows even the slightest interest.

I used to make mochi a lot for my groups. If you have a little bit of time and an open space to powder them, they're a fun and unique snack to bring, and they're super easy to make.

This is the recipe I used btw

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/31400/chi-chi-dango-mochi/

>>52687339
Surprised no one has posted the screenshot of the woman who kept putting her breast milk into the food/drink of a man she likes.

I think it ended up to being almost a gallon of milk. Oh and he never knew.

Our DM's grandma makes catfish and greens. Feels like a Tyler Perry movie but less gay.

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>>52687513
>some PB cookies
Why can you not get these ANYWHERE today, fuck.

>>52687689
Oh, yeah, somebody post the screencap. I need a good laugh.

Every Saturday I bake cookies. On Friday night I bring the dozen or so that are left for my gaming group. Then the next afternoon I bake a new batch.

>>52687513
my nigga

>>52687455
How about oatmeal chocolate chip? That is the kind I make. They are 1/3 chocolate by volume. My friends love them.

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>tfw baking scottish shortbread for your players with an old family recipe

Feels good.

I occasionally have a crock-pot full of spicy chili con carne for my players.

they never take any though so I end up eating pretty good for the rest of the week.

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>That DM that makes Cosmic Brownie milkshakes for the group

>>52687964

Recepie PLS!
I need to torture my group with it.

>>52687879
just make em! one of the simpler things to bake.

>>52687964
Aren't those really healthy?

>>52687455

Those are my favorite though :(

>>52688076
as I recall, it's primarily just pulverized Cosmic Brownie. that's the point

>>52687957
chili and character sheets just seems like a bad combo. soda is bad enough.

>>52688103
Yes.
I can allready hear their screams.

>>52688119
I keep up-to-date sheets digitally, and laminate hard copies

my old high school was replacing it's lamination machine and I got the old one and a shit-load of film free

>>52687339
On of the female players in my Group had baked cookies formed like the Faces of our Characters and drawed their faces on it with frosting. I dont remember the Story that well, something about a visit to a opera and some kidnapped Singers... If I remember correctly, the other Players that had found a tavern full of assasins and worse, and than accidently burned it down... Cookies and Fire, Friends,Cookies and Fire...

>>52687339
/fit-bro here

My lgs has this person. She's a little chubby, not overly so funny enough, but very cute in the face. DESU fan, she'd be downright hot if she lost 25-30lbs. She does it for her husband but the batch is always enormous so there's always leftovers. She comes around to the tables offering the cookies.

Kills my gains.

That feeing when looking at my shaker full of BCAAs and I see her bringing over the plastic tupperware full of cookies.

I want em but I can't. See everyone else chowing down on those cookies with big smiles... ...

Gotta keep my eyes on the prize. I can't break now.

>>52688187
>lamination machine
neat.

>>52687505
First thing I thought of as well...

>>52687482

stop doing this. just ignore them.

>>52687505
Came to post this

>>52688334
yeah.
it's old, and the laminates come off sometimes, but it gets the job done...usually.

>>52687339
Sounds like a best girl

>>52687455
Seems like I'm the only person who likes oatmeal raisin cookies and black licorice. I don't get it, they're delicious.

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What does /tg/ think of potato candy?

>>52688994
That's cool. You can have my share.

>>52688087
Until your innards explode out of your eyeballs, sure.

>>52689004
What now?

>>52689142
It's what poor people make when they can't afford good candy.

>>52689182
>potato candy
>not good
what crack are you smoking, and can you keep it away from me?

>>52689004
Looks good, but got the sensation i would get tooth rot from just one

>>52689264
It's potato, powdered sugar, peanut butter and vanilla to taste. What do you think?

>>52688255
You gonna make it brah.

>>52687849
Breast milk tastes like slightly sweeter skim milk. No one wouks be able to tell if it was added to food instead of cows milk.

>>52689004
Sounds disgusting, what are they like?

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>cookies
Homemade cheesecake senpai

>>52687849
>Oh and he never knew.
Maybe he just never said anything because it was his fetish.

When I host the dnd sessions i like to prepare theme appropriate meals. Often a stew i'll throw into the slow cooker the night before or selection of salami, hard cheese, rye bread and dried fruits. Done a big roast a couple of times for weekend long sessions we used to do.

Dig out the wooden plates and utensils i use for reenactment so we can basic larp it for lunch/dinner.

>>52687392
How many smug images have that girl? I swear I have seen like 4 depictions of her

>>52688994
Fucking doppelgänger
I'll fight you for the licorice and cookies

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>She often brings leftovers
>Tasty as fuck
>Always gives me the shits

I can't say no.

>>52687910

>dozen cookies left after 6 days
>probably not even fat

Nigga get out

>>52689880
I like oatmeal raisin cookies, but not licorice. Where do I fit in?

>>52689780
It depends on the person, I guess?

At its core, it's a mashed potato mixed with powdered sugar rolled over a thin layer of peanut butter (I prefer creamy but I've known people who like crunchy in their potato candy), then cut up into segments.

I and my entire family enjoy the heck out of it and often have it as a treat made for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Though, many of us are of Scotts-Irish decent so that may have something to do with it.

>>52689916
Anon, I think you're being poisoned.

I work at a cheese shop and can usually bring home some smaller and misshapen bits of cheese so I've brought those to our DnD sessions lately to share. It's pretty fun and Cheese platters are super easy to prepare/easy to snack on while playing.

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>>52687900
Here ya go

>>52687339
But Anon, I'm a boy!

>>52690097
Well, he DID lose 30 pounds.

>>52690174
Uwotm8

>>52690245
horse semen

>>52689623
No, he's not

>>52690174
The horse doesn't look into it at all

>>52687849
Ew. Single mom milk. Smells like entrapment and desperation.

>>52688255
You sound, and act like, a bitch.
Eat the fucking cookie, then run that shit off brah. One or two cookies is just 45 minutes with your weight vest on, going at easy 5.5 MPH pace.
Man up. Bitch.

>>52689004
Slav please go

>>52687339
>that girl who makes really shitty food and brownies for your group

Would have been top waifu material if she was any good at cooking

>>52690742
You get good by being shit for a while. My little brother used to try to bake for my group by eyeballing ingredients, which is a terrible idea because surprise surprise, baking is basically chemistry.

He eventually got good though, and now brings in ridiculous shit for his current group of high school kids every week, looks like a blast.

>tfw both groups you play with turn D&D night into feast.

>>52690649
>like potato candy makes me a slav.
Well, looks like I need to work on my squat.

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>>52687339
>girl

>>52689004
Confusing and arousing. What.

>>52689996
The trash, anon. The trash.

>>52690639
Dude. When you're at 8% and your goal is 5% or lower for a show, a cookie kills it.

Get on my level you muppet.

>>52690649
We don't have those things in Slavlandia.

>>52690649
Don't have it over here. I once tried American potatoes and guess what - they are sweet. How the hell do you even have a single non-obese person over there?

The best thing you can do with a potato is to hollow it out, fill it with cut pre-fried bacon bits, soft cheese, parsley and fried onions, then cover it with tinfoil and bake in coal. Me and my group game outdoors during summer and this is the perfect snack. Shame I have to sell my dacha.

>>52687339
>implying she isn't mixing her blood into the cookies to cast a spell on you

>>52687339
Every well-formed group has one. She's fat, ugly, has pink hair... but at least sge can bake

>That host that beats the vegan player to death with an iceberg lettuce

>>52691263
>girl(male)

>>52692498
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zYPvsNQg-ak

>>52691844
You sound like a shitty person to hang out with.

I bake all the time. Not always appreciated though.
Making Red velvet cupcakes with Butter cream frosting and Vanilla Cupcakes with a peach frosting for work sunday.
Last time I baked I made Mini keylime pies and Mini Cheesecakes with Cherries on top.
Everyone told me at work they loved Key lime pies, but the cheese cakes I brought on a whim disappeared in the first hour. (I brought 36 of both)

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>>52692498
Sounds hot desu.

>>52688255
Stay strong brah you don't need it

>>52689880
Nein zey ar mine

>>52691844
>a bodybuilder that plays D&D
What are the chances?

>>52689734
Anon how would you even --
Never mind.

Okay so real talk, can I impress my new boyfriend by making his group some good pies?

I've never played D&D but it looks fun so he invited me to sit in on the next session. I'm just worried about bothering them.

>>52694645
Cheesecakes would be more effective

>>52694706
There's about six or seven people in the group, I could probably bring cheesecake AND pie. The chocolate pie is an old family recipe and it's always the first thing gone at gatherings and potlucks.

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>>52687421
>not putting on a pot of chili or slow-cooking some pulled pork for your best bros

>>52687339
wait this actually happens.

I seem incapable of finding good groups in the bay area.....

>>52693418
Actually quite a few of us. I gave up on that after a few years, I hover around 8-12% to stay light for my martial arts

>>52694729
Do the family recipe, adding the personal touch is really nice.

As for the D&D, just try to relax and listen the best you can. My wife was super nervous when she first started getting her feet wet with us (she's terrible with numbers so that only added to it), but she stuck with it and now plays regularly with the group. It's a lot to take in if you've never played, but it's easy to learn when you sit down and take it step by step, so don't let your self be intimidated.

Also, don't force yourself to play if you end up finding it boring. Lots of people are interested in D&D from afar, but find it lacking when they sit down and play. Don't feel bad if you end up being one of those people.

Just my 2 cents.

>>52690588
He just feels used.

Thanks op you just brought back horrible memories of highschool where a kid invited me to come over and play videogames and i totally got some fucking sodas and snacks to bring over and went there and he never came to his door

Because he was asleep and completely forgot and blew me off

Fuck why was my childhood so full of autism and embarrassment.

>>52694645
Fuck that sound awesome. If you wanted to sit in on my group I guarantee everyone would be thrilled if you brought baked goods.

So yeah, that is an excellent idea.

>>52687641
Bruh, It ain't hard. Especially not chocolate chip cookies

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>>52687455
Fuck off and fuck out, bitch. Oatmeal Raisin are the superior cookie

>>52694864
>>52694898
Good to know, thank you anons.

>>52694930
Felix Colgrave is a very interesting man.

>>52694494
Every father has tried it.

>>52695314
WHYYY?

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>>52687339
>that girl that keeps trying to seduce every male member of a beast race she can find

>>52695336
because you're feeding it to your child and you wonder what its like.
In my case i tried some expressed milk that was left over in the bottle after my daughter finished a feed.


also it can happen by accident when you're being intimate with the wife.

>>52695336
Sometimes your wife is a weirdo and she wants you to drink it, claims it will make your bond with the baby stronger or some shit like that

>>52695336
Lactation is a patrician fetish and I will hear nothing to the contrary.

>>52695411
Leave the state.

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>>52694729
Could I get the recipe off of you, please?

>>52687339
You most likely have some form of mild autism.

>>52695514
Anon, we're on 4chan. We are all probably at least mildly autistic.

>>52694645
Can I be your new boyfriend?

>>52695549
Not me, I'm very charismatic.

>>52695499
Sorry friend, it's a secret even to most of my family. Myself and my aunt are the only ones who know how to make it, I haven't even told my mother.

>>52695559
No, but you can be impressed by my pie-making skills regardless.

>>52687910

>Oatmeal chocolate chip

Correct, these are high-tier cookies right there.

>>52694645
tits or gtfo

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>>52695632
... Well alright but I better not get banned for this.

>>52695586
Aw, okay. That's really impressive! Family recipes and delicious baked goods are the best!

I'm so lonely...

>>52695586
Gotta keep the bloodline pure. I still haven't shared my great grandfathers spotted dick recipe

>>52695653
T R I G G E R E D
SO GODDAMN HARD

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>>52695586
>not sharing your delicious recipe with the general populace so everyone can enjoy it.
The injustices of the bourgeoisie will not be tolerated! Soon enough the revolution shall occur, and you and your ilk will be gulaged for 1000 years for your insolence!

Peace, Land, Pie!

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>>52695710
>threatening a servant of the Emperor
Pray! Kill! Burn!

>>52695670
>spotted dick recipe
I think you should have that checked.

>>52695663
If you want to hang out my dude I would make you a pie just for reasons.

>>52687392

Who is this girl and why is she so smug?

>>52695884
She is clearly a slav. Smugness is in slav DNA.

>>52687691
>TFW I'm the girl (male) that sucks off the GM and occasionally a few of the players.

>>52695784
>If you want to hang out my dude I would make you a pie just for reasons.

T E X A S
E
X
A
S

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>>52695943
>>TFW I'm the girl (male)
>girl (male)
>(male)

I love cooking, and if I have the time I cook for the group when I'm hosting. In fact I am crash-testing all my new recipes on them. Usually the players bring the drinks and the appetisers.

Lately I made a leek pie façon tatin.

>>52695965
Not Texas. :(

>>52696043
Aw, I would've brought enchiladas or tikka masala or pancakes or something, too.

Oh well.

>>52696056
Oh damn enchiladas sound great.
Maybe if your lonely you can try getting into chats or something? Maybe you can find somebody where you're at to meet up with.

>>52696090
*you're
Fuck.

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>>52695965
Only two types live in Texas. Steers and queers. It ain't hard pickin' which one you are, boy.

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>that player that brings a case of La Croix to the game

>>52696123
Are you a peter puffer?

>>52696123
>Moooooo~

>>52696090
Maybe. I'll probably give it a shot. Just gotta get rid of the ex's stuff tomorrow and then I can reorganize my whole life!

>>52695989
I'm a girl when I have a skirt on. And when I'm under the table.

>>52696248
Anybody got that Rowboat Girlyman pic?

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>>52696223
Well good! Once the stuff's gone it'll be easier to move on without a constant reminder. Good luck anon.

>>52696317
Thanks! Pretty didn't work out; I'm hoping the next girl is cute instead.

>>52687339
So me, then.

I used to be super poor to the point where I could barely eat. That meant showing up to game night with nothing to contribute. Now I like to make up for it by bringing enough so no one even thinks about the other poor people there who couldn't

>>52696587
This might not be exactly what you want to hear, but personality carries are a thing. Go for a chill and confident chick, not a pretty or cute one. Most of the time you'll be getting women who are like 99% better.

>>52696645
>go for personality instead of someone attractive
Christ, what a cuck. One is worthless without the other. And if I have to pick one or the other, it's always the vapid pretty bitch before she hits the Wall and then you just replace her after she peaks. Then again, if you don't have money, that becomes slightly more difficult.

>>52696708
... I'm not a cuck, I'm >>52696317.
If what you want is a worthless bitch of a trophy wife purely to fuck, fine. But that's obviously not what >>52696223 is going for.

>>52696645
That's what I meant by cute. Endearing personality rather than someone riding their admittedly nice body through their own psych issues and trampling on people on the way.

I'd love someone to hang out with and hug and stuff. That would be really ideal.

>>52696744
Then here's hoping he doesn't mind settling for potato faces and fat chicks. And hey, the worthless bitches purely to keep your dick wet are simply part of the process. Maybe you eventually find one worth settling down with, but why the fuck would I settle for a woman past her prime while mine's still a decade or so away?

1) I'm the one who baked cookies for the group
2) I'm a guy
3) the person who ate the most of the cookies last time I made any, complained about how he didn't like that kind of cookie (everyone else liked them fine).
guess who doesn't bake cookies for teh group anymore?

>>52694645
>I'm just worried about bothering them.
My friends regularly have people around who aren't playing. When they start talking about non-game stuff, it will derail the whole night. When they focus on their phone, or just watch the game, everything goes fine.

Basically, the way to not bother them is to watch the game like a slow moving TV show. Don't be afraid to chime in or ask questions, just keep it on-topic. (In theory, at least. Depends on the people.)

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>>52687339
>tfw I tell the group I'm bringing cola so they don't need to
>I slam a pack of pepsi on the table and they look to me in horror

>>52695943
>>52696248
S-Storytime?

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>>52696844

>>52687339
>tfw live in a culture where soups and rice are a big deal at mealtimes
>tfw live in a country where people are too busy to actually game
>tfw live in a suburb backwater populated solely by middle aged couples and their twat kids

>>52687505
>/k/ meet ups

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>>52687339
I used to take these for tabletop sessions, they where great and pretty easy, but I can't find a place that sells rolo's unwrapped anymore so it's way too much hassle now.

>>52696844
>expect mediocre soft drink
>get something ten times better
Nice. You're a cool dude, anon.

>>52690174
For some reason my mind saw a cow... and then I looked again...

>>52687951
I desire this recipe

Make sure she doesn't put her blood in the cookies

>>52695943
>>52696248

Herefter I was, browsing teegee, and now I've got a boner.

At least do some story time, don't leave a guy hanging like this.

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>>52689852

>>52693418
>>52694859

Yet another /fit/izen reporting. I'm the DM of my group. 265 bench, 315 squat, 415 DL

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>Guy makes bomb ass nachos for the D&D sesh

good lad

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>mfw all my campaigns are online
>no sharing homemade food with bros

>>52696973
seconded

>>52687339
You just KNOW she had the perfect huge tits under that heavy turtleneck sweatshirt

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>>52696278
this one?

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>>52687339
>that GM that prepares food based off your last sessions encounters

I'll sometimes put a stew in the slowcooker before games at my house. Goes down a treat, and feels appropriate to a fantasy setting.

>>52695989
>>52696248
You are not a girl. You are a faggot

>>52698609
>ass nachos
ew

>>52687358
I don't get the appeal of chicken tenders, really. Why not have a wholesome chicken dinner instead?

>>52698092
4 ounces of sugar
8 ounces of butter
12 ounces of flour

Bake. Done.

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>>52699821
I'm with you bro

>>52699846
That's crumble topping my dude.

>>52699141
If a faggot baked you cookies, would you decline them?
I would do things for cookies.

>>52696587
What's the difference?

>>52696744
Hey fuck off, I've got a trophy wife and not only is she cute and down to fug any time, she's also supportive and a top-tier housewife.

Not all trophy wives are vapid lazy sluts

>>52696744
>trophy wife
>isn't actually any form of a trophy

>>52700084
What is trophy wife supposed to mean anyway ?

>>52699860
http://www.food.com/recipe/traditional-rich-scottish-shortbread-biscuits-cookies-264605

Alright, whatever you say my dude

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>>52696844

>>52700097
Insult made by shitty couples when someone they know finds a higher-quality woman.

Or if you're autistic like me, wife you found in your local hunting community, during a hunt (^:

>>52700098
You know it wasn't an insult or whatever, I used the same recipe yesterday to make a crumble topping.

>>52699985
Prove it. I bet your trophy wife is a garden gnome. Time stamp and date too, no plucking a photo off some random chicks Facebook.

>drinking soda
>eating sweets
>dating fat girls
As expected from grogs

>>52700114
Did you stuff her above the fireplace ?

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>dude trophy wives lmao
https://youtu.be/QDvQ77JP8nw

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>>52690174
Who says you can't milk horses

>>52693418
He never said he was a bodybuilder, only that he needed to drop to 5% for "a show".
Obviously he's a pornstar.

>>52700097
>What is trophy wife supposed to mean anyway ?
Hot young woman who married an older man because of the money, thus implying she's a "trophy" for being rich & successful.

>>52699738
'bomb ass' is an adjective used colloquially in place of 'very good.'

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>>52687505
That is 100% my fetish.

>>52696973
Thirded

>>52699870
>If a faggot baked you cookies, would you decline them?
It would be extremely homosexual.

>that player who brings a deck of cards and secretly plays another game with some of the other players

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>>52700354

>GM's wife son makes rice crispy treats for group
>All the minis get sticky

>>52700354
you can milk any mammal dunno what the surprise is

Could drink gorilla milk if you wanted

>>52700354
Horse women. Not even once.

>>52700354
Never noticed the huge cock until now

>>52700728
>milk
Anon...

>>52700757
is that a male horse? gross then

>>52700742
I'm no expert but for a horse that's rather average size.

>>52700665
I fucking hate baneposting

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>>52701066
You have bad taste

>>52698744
That's good but nah. It doesn't actually say who it is, it's this sketch with a kid inside of a rowboat talking about being a girl when he's wearing a skirt. I always thought it was Girlyman but I could be wrong.

>>52699985
Then you're really fucking lucky and found that 1%. I'm happy for you.

>>52700084
>>52700097
>>52700114
See
>>52700590

>>52694890
Seems like he's the one who should be embarassed, not you

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The only girls I have played with have either been weebs or vapid sluts.
Not really the cooking type.
Used to really appreciate the dude who brought pizza to every session until he decided to start bringing disgusting supreme shit even though he knows I won't eat it.
Fuck that guy.

>>52687339
>That guy who ate all the cookies made for entire group

>>52703979
>Cooking type
This might shock you, but adult people tend to cook just to survive, unless they are retarded or American, but I'm repeating myself

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>>52687339
>mfw I am that girl (male)

I can't think of a time when anyone has actually brought food to a tabletop session. We usually meet up, play a while, then go out as a group to grab lunch or dinner somewhere. When we're done eating and shooting the shit, we just head back and pick up where we left off.

>>52700144
I'm a grog, the only time I have soda is when there is nothing better to use as a chaser, I don't eat sweets and I date guys.
Where is your god now?

>>52704464
Cute guys?

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>>52704398
>unless they are retarded or American, but I'm repeating myself

>>52704398
Ah yes, I forgot all yuros are master chefs and there is no such thing as yuro who doesn't like cooking very much, right?

>>52703979
>guy brings me free food
>its not the free food i want
>fuck him
jesus christ the entitlement

This situation raises two conflicting principle.
One that food is a body-fuel, and to keep yourself running you should not eat junk or eat too fancy.
The other that thou shall waste not, neither the resource nor the opportunity.

>>52695565
Saying it that bluntly leads me to not believe you.

>>52704898
To be fair, he could have a high charisma and just suck or not give a shit about writing. People tell me that my writing is outstanding but I'm definitely not charismatic.

>>52687339
man if I had a weekly game of D&D to go to every week, I'd bring cake. I have a high-quality mixer at my disposal and the secret to a soft, voluptuous cake is in the mixing of the batter.

also I' bring wine for the host at least once a month

>>52687339
>tfw game night is also potluck night
>tfw DM brings roast lamb and good wine
>tfw ranger player is cookie girl
>tfw paladin player brings brick-oven pizza
>tfw druid player brings a fucking salad
>tfw the salad is actually pretty good
>tfw barbarian player brings beef wellington
>tfw weeb monk player shows up half an hour late with a trunkload of beer and soda

>>52695416
You are an exquisite gentleman, sir.

>>52687339
That girl'd be my girlfriend.

>>52687358
you didn't have enough good boy points

>>52705123
>tfw barbarian player brings beef wellington
Is this a meatbread joke?

>>52705123
If the GM decides to, or let another more capable player, prepare a meal it's absolutely amazing if it's something relevant to the setting of the game. Like, if you're playing medieval fantasy and he offers you a bowl of bread with meat stew together with Rauchbier. There's nothing better than that.

>>52704700
If you don't like cooking, you have three options:
- someone cooks for you
- you are still living with your parents and they do that shit
- you starve
Unless you want to blow your entire salary on eating in bars and such by middle of the month, that is.

And it's common knowledge Americans barely cook, but are so fucking insecure about their shit-tier cooking skills (which comes solely from lack of practice), the will shit on anyone who can make just scrambled eggs.

>>52687794
Sageworthy post

>>52706036
Bruh, why you gotta be a dick.

>And it's common knowledge Americans barely cook
I am actually curious where you are getting this from. Where does this stereotype come from because I've never seen it. I go out to eat probably once a week Saturday evenings, besides that I cook for myself. When I was a kid my family ate out even less frequently.

>>52706036
>Americans barely cook
Boy howdy, them's fightin' words, boy.

>>52706117
barbecue is not cooking

>>52706131
wait, then what is it?

>>52706107
I've spend 14 months on contract in States. The shit that passes as "food" out there is just amazing. And the constant surprise that I won't go to a dinner or similar shit, but make my own food was just plain annoying. When you can impress bunch of random people by the fact you can make a stir fry or bake without using pre-made industrial baking mix, you know something is seriously off.

>>52706153
Art

>tfw friends come tomorrow
>tfw spent 5h cooking
>tfw it all smells so delicious
the best feel

>>52706153
Not him, but the obvious answer is - cooking.

If you seriously don't even understand the difference between cooking and BBQ, the discussion is over before it even started.

>>52687339
M-made with special l-love juice

On that note, putting benevolent vaginal secretions into the cookie mix and then baking it, has anyone tried it? I know that semen only makes pastries sort of a dry salty taste.

>>52706036
>when you're this desperate to feel some kind of superiority over others to make up for being Eurocucked

lol

>>52706178
Now I know you're bullshitting to try and shit post because no one would be impressed you managed to not fuck up a box cake. Hell we made fun of my old room mate for using box cake.

Where in the states were you?

>>52706206
BBQ is a kind of cooking.

>>52706199
Gonna have to agree there.

>>52706107
>I am actually curious where you are getting this from. Where does this stereotype come from because I've never seen it
Not him, but all you need to do is opening any page containing recipes send by burgers and you will start question if people can really this bad at cooking.

>>52706206
Actually BBQ is a subset of cooking.

>>52706178
I'm american, and I can fucking cook. So can my dad, and his mother, and everyone on my mom's side of the family - we're cooks and bakers. Bitch I will fight you on this.

>>52706278
>American
Dropped

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>>52706234
>I know that semen only makes pastries sort of a dry salty taste.
>I know

>>52706256
>Talk about baking without use of baking mix
>HURRRRR HOW CAN YOU NOT FUCK UP USING MIX
Your reading comprehension is as "amazing" as American cuisine.

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>>52706288
>I don't want to talk to an American about American food, even though I'm trying to have a debate on it

>>52702195
For you.

>>52706265
See, I lived in London for a time, they were no better at cooking. I spent three months in germany, folks there weren't better at cooking than folks back home.

It just seems like people are desperate to find ways to feel better about themselves through some kind of national identity.

>>52706278
I'm a dirty Yugo and I find absolutely nothing impressive about a fact you can cook. That's one of a bare basic skills an adult person needs to exist.
But it fits nicely into the stereotype this anon >>52706036 posted. There is NOTHING impressive in cooking skills. It's existentional necessity.

>>52706344
If you have to stretch that much, it's not baneposting anymore.

Why are europeans so snotty and pretentious?
Why are they so on-board with ruining their own precious continent?

>>52706313
No I'm saying people will make fun of you for using box cake. No one cares if you manage to make something without box cake beyond the fact they're grateful you cooked for them.

People appreciate baked goods. People are more impressed you put in the effort to do something nice for them than with what you made.

>>52706351
You're right, it's not impressive. But he was saying that Americans, as in all or most of us, can't even do that.

>>52706345
>Seriously bringing Brits, out of all people, to discussion on cooking
Please tell me this is just bait and not genuine.

And the only people who need to feel always better and always superior are Americans, so I'm not sure where you are going with it. I get it, it's fun and dandy making jokes out of others, but why burgers stop laughing when they are the punchline of a joke? What? Lack of distance?

>>52706351
He's not talking about it being impressive or not, it's the assertion that americans can't cook.

>>52687964
>and the best part is they are really healthy for you!

how in god's green earth can those be healthy for you?

>>52706345
>See, I lived in London for a time, they were no better at cooking. I spent three months in germany, folks there weren't better at cooking than folks back home.
honestly food in Germany or Britain is really shit.

I did consulting work in germany and I remain convinced that anything more complicated than opening a bag of salami is out of bounds for them.

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>>52706234

>>52706380
you'll lose more weight than in a week of hard exercise

>>52689790
>cheese over crust
its shit.
just kidding, but i fucking love cheesecake

>>52688334
You can get one of those for like $30.

>>52706373
Nigga you're not making a joke, jokes are meant to be funny. You're just trying to get a sense of superiority over folks. Saying "it's common knowledge american's can't cook" isn't a joke, if you think it is you need to get your sense of humor checked.

I'm not looking to feel superior. I'm saying that saying "it's common knowledge american's can't cook" is a retarded generalization of a massive country.

>>52706345
>Food talk
>I lived in London
So you want to talk about cooking by bringing canned stuff and vinegar to it?

>>52696973
>>52698677
>>52700661
There's not really a story to tell. I joined a game with some cute guys and they knew I was a girl (male) and one night we drank a little and I ended up under the table and now it happens every few weeks. I like to dress extra cute for them now.

>>52688103

pulverized cosmic brownie wouldn't make people shit like that,would it?

>>52706385
British food is like their language, it incorporates the worst parts from countries all over the world.

>tfw you're a trained baker and your pies are so dank that people want to play D&D with you just to get a taste

desu though my group is usually 4/6 girls so we all bring baked goods and swap em while we play

>>52706417
>It's not a joke, when it involves Americans
It's still funny to poke about arrogant, obese cunts who are so insecure you can get them triggered by saying just about ANYTHING bad about them. Bonus round if it's true.

So keep crying

>most Michelin stars by city
>top 10
>3 japanese cities
>3 american cities
>1 french city
>1 english city
>1 chinese city
>1 belgium city

really scrambles my eggs

>>52706423
pics or didn't happen

>>52706451
Try harder yuropoor, I can't taste your tears over all this FRESH CALIFORNIA PRODUCE

>>52706451
Shit nigga, are you stupid? The fact it was about americans doesn't make it not a joke. The fact that it was in no way humorous. If you had put any out country in there instead it still wouldn't have been a joke.

>>52706376
Don't even. There's Japanese people right now who don't even have a kitchen.
Americans abolsutely can cook, they just aren't very good at it.

>>52706036
While this anon is being a dick, 50% of cooking is just believing in yourself and being willing to experiment45% is having an internet connection, and the other 5% is French cooking, where you actually need to know what you're doing
Also being able to afford ingredients

The system we use has descriptions of the food culture of the different regions and we have started trying them out.

So far it's very interesting and very good.

>>52706461
Michelin starts are like modern art, they're arbitrary measure of artificial value for snobs, and have no use for common man.

>>52706313

english isn't your first language, right? because i'm only getting poor comprehension of what's been written right here when i skim the thread.

Why are europeans so obsessed with the united stated? Why does it have to be an us vs. them attitude?

Shit it's not like I go out of my way to insult europeans. I think most of them are probably fine folks. Most everyone is a decent enough person.

>>52706461
>most michelin 3-star restaurant by country
>Japan
>France
>Germany

Most michelin star by country
>Japan
>France
>italy

>>52706358
>Why are they so on-board with ruining their own precious continent?
What do you mean?

>>52706487
wot

>>52706487
This. This I will concede. Most americans *do* cook, but we're not exactly shining examples of culinary expertise. It's why there's a fucking nation wide joke about the turkey always being too goddamn dry.

>>52706532
Even weirder when you realize that 300 years ago most "Americans" would have been Europeans.
I don't fucking know, dude.

>>52706540

that's probably a /pol/ answer and we are currently mirroring /ck/ so let's keep our priorities straight

>>52706522
>If I can't understand it, it means it's shit, wrong and bad
Typical pleb

>>52706497
I'm french, and I don't see how french cooking is harder than any other with an internet connection.
Unless you're speaking about fancy restaurant stuff, but every country has that (right? It's not just us and the Italians, isn't it?)

>>52706535
What year? I'm was pretty sure it was:
France
Japan
Italy
Germany
Spain
USA
UK

>>52690174
God damnit I have a boner now
Why am I fucked in the head?
Man I just wanted to find some cooking recipes

>>52706550
Well I'm American and my family is full of cooks who are fucking superb.

>>52706550
But turkey is a fucking dry bird. And that's a joke in every country that eats turkey for some holiday.

>>52706532
>Why are europeans so obsessed
>Obsessed
Since when poking fun out of yet another country means obsession?
The real question is - why Americans take it so damn fucking serious

>>52706451
So does whining about the big mean Americans make you feel better about your no-guns bin that knife nannystate that wants your family to be raped and murdered by muslims?

>>52706532
Success breeds jealousy and envy, of course they're obsessively butthurt about the best country on Earth.

>>52706577
Well, you can always go for a regular cake.
With special frosting.

>>52706497
>Also being able to afford ingredients
Well, fresh vegetables are cheap, spices and dairy as well. Meat is a bit more expensive especially if you want quality.

I don't spend more than 300€ per month in food and I cook every day. The secret is to go to farmer markets

>>52706573
Every country has that fancy restaurant shit, yes.
Except for America. Our food is mostly of the robust and meaty kind, so there's no room for gourmet style. Not that we can't make good or fancy food, it's just not our preference.

>>52706036
>And it's common knowledge Americans barely cook, but are so fucking insecure about their shit-tier cooking skills (which comes solely from lack of practice), the will shit on anyone who can make just scrambled eggs.
but that's wrong

>>52706585
>Since when poking fun out of yet another country means obsession?
I also post on /ck/. This shit doesn't often leak to /tg/, but it is common to point out how obsessed europeans are as there are absolutely constant threads made about it on /ck/, and people trying to derail threads into being about it. /int/ is the same way, but that's their board theme so I can excuse them.

>The real question is - why Americans take it so damn fucking serious
Part of this is american business culture, particularly east coast business culture. Though most of asia is much worse and eve more serious.

>>52706593
Who wants to play spot-the-/pol/tard lmao

>>52706593
See? Say something bad about Americans and they will act like a 5 year old.
Thanks for proving my point.

>>52706609
>Except for America. Our food is mostly of the robust and meaty kind, so there's no room for gourmet style. Not that we can't make good or fancy food, it's just not our preference.
I gotta say that's absolutely fucking wrong. I live in SF and people here are massive snobs about this sort of thing.

>>52706631
>>52706633
Cucks spotted

>>52706631
>>52706633
Say hi to ahmed for me, will ya?

>>52706575
2015

Do I bring homemade gaucamole or four cheese spinach dip to my next session, /tg/?

>>52706633
Some Americans. For fuck's sake, please don't lump me in with crazy redneck asshats. My country has normal people too.

>>52706641
But it's about other types of food, like Italian right? Nobody's getting super snobby over burgers and BBQ, even in SanFran.

>>52706497
>50% of cooking is just believing in yourself and being willing to experiment
I'm sorry to put a damper on your all-American "I can do this if I believe in myself" bullshit, so your biggest cooking achievement can be a "peanut jelly sandwich".

>>52706633
You're also acting like a 5 year old m8. This entire thread is a shit flinging fit.

Americans can't cook, europeans get raped by muslims, americans are a joke president, europeans live in big brother nanny states, americans clap and tip literally everyone, europeans can't help but sucking germany's leather phallus.

It goes round and round.

>>52706669
Belief is actually really powerful, just look at the placebo effect. Believe in it long enough and you, too, can be the star of your next family get-together.

>>52706665
>Normal people
>Americans
Pick one. If you don't like being lumped - you can always move out

>>52706665
>But it's about other types of food, like Italian right? Nobody's getting super snobby over burgers and BBQ, even in SanFran.
It's SanFran, people get snobby about fucking grilled cheese out here

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>>52706609
Well we do the robust and meaty kind too. Particularly in the northern/eastern parts of the country.
Hell, I recently went to a restaurant in Lorraine that specialized exclusively in cheese, meat and delicatessen.

>>52696124
If I bring a case of lacroix I plan to drink it all. If someone wants some I'll share but i use that shit to curb my soda habit.

>>52706691
>americans are all the same
I never really got where people think this from when they know multiple american stereotypes. Everyone knows New Yorker and Texan stereotypes even if you're not from the states because of the fact america makes most of the films people consume. If you know completely polarized stereotypes why do people assume they're all the same?

Besides, america is fucking massive.

It's easier to zero in on state level stereotypes.

>>52706690
>If I believe hard enough, I will magically develop skills
>As opposed to actually developing them
That's why American kids round in 20-25 range in PISA ability tests, but are always 1st in confidence in said abilities.
That's why everyone else loves to pick on American overconfidence.

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>>52706697
>Lorraine
>robust
>food
Try 450km to the south

>>52706744
>That's why American kids round in 20-25 range in PISA ability tests, but are always 1st in confidence in said abilities.
for this one I actually statistically blame african americans, who are proven to drag down the nation's scores on everything, sad but true statistics

>>52706691
Every country on Earth can be lumped into something and be generalized. I like where I'm at, faults and all.

>>52706697
Fuck, now I want delicatessen.
Anyway, French cheese and meats are different than something like burgers and fries. You can't really super fancy up a plain burger in the same way, you know?

>>52706744
>as opposed to actually developing them
Of course not you fucking idiot. I was saying you have to believe, but part of that IS working at it. If you try to work at and it don't think you can do it, you'll fail. You'll also fail if you believe and do nothing. That's a no-brainer anon.

>>52687339
>White people
Pastries, straight carbs, wine, salads
>Black people
Barbeque, liquor, soul food (fat and diabetics), junk food
>Yellow people
Curly Carbs, weird sea creatures, spice masters, herbs

>>52706729
Because nobody gives a fuck about local variables, you retard. It doesn't matter how big your country is.
>French stereotype
>Cowardish baguette eating mime from Paris, wearing stripped turtle-neck and berret
>German stereotype
>Sauerkraut eating Prussian bureaucrat in Bavarian lederhosen and silly hat
>Russian stereotype
>Ugly as night, constantly drunk guy that does punch-outs with a polar bear, when he doesn't get the bear drunk
And you are amazed that there is single, prevailing stereotype about Americans. Boo hoo! Absolutely normal thing, you stupid cunt, regardless of population, country size or anything else.

>>52706762
Funny, because this test is performed predominately on white kids in States, as you need to first QUALITY AT ALL to get on PISA test.
Where is your excuse now, white boy?

>>52706795
Those are funny and obviously too over-the-top to be serious. That's not the same as "you people can't cook".

>>52706780
>You can't really super fancy up a plain burger in the same way, you know?
burger with a toasted foie gras, an onion marmelade, a magret de canard instead of the steak. A crique cooked in the duck fat, hashbrown-style. balsam vinegar sauce with shallots.

I can already taste it.

>when you go to an American chain restaurant and then go to an American owned chain store to buy your American designed clothes that you can wear to watch your American made film before obsessively whining about Americans on American designed websites

Why can't other countries realize that they practically get down on their knees to suck on American product cock?

>>52706780
Eh, I'm going to assume you're american (sorry if you're not), so maybe it's the exoticism that makes this kind of food look fancier. I've eaten pretty nice burgers too. When I lived next to a bakery that did some very tasty burger bread, I usually did some every few weeks, with blue cheese, homemade fries, arugula salad, etc.

>>52706750
Post food or gtfo. Lorraine/Alsace portions are crazy big and tasty.

>>52706795
Russian stereotypes always were strange to me because of how fucking massive the country was, but I can rationalize it with how small the population and how much actual livable land there is.

>local flavors
But that's the thing, you know what a texan and a new yorker stereotype is, if you don't you likely don't consume much media (or make a point to not consume american media which is a glut of the media consumed world wide).

Germany only has a population of 80 million, France and UK around 60. Ireland only 6 million. Spain only 45 and Portugal only 10.


California is much large than spain geographically and doesn't lag much behind population.

>>52706812
>european
>not white
Ahmed pls.

>>52706691
>you can always move out
Are you fucking serious?

>>52706669
I'm Irish lad.As in this is posted from Paddyland, not Irish-American or any of that. I'm even drinking Guinness atm, completing the stereotype

I mean, I'm not going to say Irish food is great, cause it really isn't, but it's not like you can only make stuff that your ancestors made.
Chilli is my go-to easy comfort food, and most of the ingredients aren't even indigenous to the island!

That said, I do have a soft spot for Irish stew. It's nothing fancy, but it's filling.

>>52706573
I'm mostly memeing lad, but I'd say french cooking, or sauces at least, take a wee bit more effort than normal. Even then if you do it a couple of times it's the same as everything else.
Do love me a Bearnaise on steak though!

>>52706606
I remember hearing that fresh stuff is more expensive in the states? No clue honestly, only been over twice and I wasn't cooking either time

>>52706860
Oh... then yes, yes we do have that shit in America. And it's fucking good.

>>52706874
>exoticism
You know what, that's probably what this whole thing is about in the first place.

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>>52706874
Coq au vin maison.

>people say american's can't cook
>tfw live in one of the snobbiest for cooking areas in the US
And I fucking hate this city too.

>>52706867
>Made in China
Kek Delusional