That Guy/GM Stories Thread

I mean there's a point were you just might as well say screw the rolls and just give it to the players, they're just going to keep trying until they get it right if it isn't timed or dangerous.

File: 1491529806596.jpg (236KB, 882x1150px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 882x1150px

Fucking this.

File: 1491529806596.jpg (177KB, 1214x668px) Image search: [Google]

177KB, 1214x668px

>>52669930
Here's a version with the followup and without any autistic replies.

3 stories and already this shit's golden.

Bumping for new stories.

File: 1491537864766.png (15KB, 842x183px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 842x183px

>>52670527
Bumping this anons bump for new stories

Sort of related, depending on context

>>52671012
Last thread was a good thread.

Jack "aidsmoby" Packard in one of his recent Pre-Rec videos had a great story about being invited to play D&D for the first time, too bad I can't remember which video it was in.

>>52671042
That it was.

Looking through my unsorted images to see if i can find more

>>52671012
I've had that happen before. Sooner or later it pays off and people think you're some kind of mastermind for doing some common preparations.

>>52671012
>wizards tattooing spells on their bodies
I have to steal that concept.

>>52670038
Can't help but feel dude missed out on an opportunity there.

>>52671079

I can't stand that fucker. He sucks the fun out of videos with his strange aspie-mannerism and jokes.

>MHMM

Also, he really does look like he is on the verge of being hospitalized

>>52669775
My favourite is me being kind of annoying to the GM, but it just felt so good

>The team is non-magical
>Siergiei, god of Wolves pesters us for his amusement
>Decide that we don't want to live a life on the run
PlebsGonFightAGod.roll
>after some preparations, we go to a forest, set up and taunt the fucker
>"Howls die down, as you notice movement between the trees. Siergiei slowly walks out, his form somewhere between human and feral, wearing nothing save for a loincloth. He exits the forest in front of you, Anon, and strides forward, smirking. He brushes your boarspear aside and.."
>"Um, actually, When he walks to about a step in fron of my spear, I thrust with all my might. I aim for the solar plexus"
>"...Alright Anon, suit yourself. You lunge forth, putting all your weight behind that thrust. It feels like hitting a wall, the spear tip barely grazing the god. You see a small tricle of his golden blood, he stops and chuckles: 'I didn't expect you'd actually go through with this" and then slaps your spear aside and jumps at you"
cue epic fight scene

>>52671954
>"He jumps away from you, int the middle of the clearing. 'I see you are eager to fight. You could achieve great things, should you join me in my hunt' he says, looking at you one by one, 'I..'"
>"Does he actually look at us separately?"
>obviously annoyed "Yes Anon, he does"
>"Well then I stab him between his ribs with my spear while he isn't looking at me"
>"He's in the middle of the glade!"
>"I have a 2.5 meter boarspear"
>"Fine. 'I could give you great power, you know, you just need to' says Siergiei, but is interrupted by Anon's spear embedding itself between his ribs"
another fight scene, bitchboy teammate betrays us, and then another god, who has some beef with Siergiei and was somewhat friendly last time we met him shows up, and takes over the fight.

I talked to the GM and apologised for interrupting his BBEG speech. He said he understands, and that was consistent with my character. (Pokaj was a down to earth, jovial commoner, who, being a commoner, has no "knightly" honor. The Rational Gua, and apparently, leader of the group.)

>"Sorry, but this is the Tol'Calen Empire, not an anime"

>>52671954
>>52671978
wrong thread, choose an original image for once

>>52671978
>>52671954
I always hated when anime does that. People just stopping in combat to throw speeches at each other. Or a character that is supposedly moving faster than a bullet can speak entire sentences clearly even though it would physically take less than ten milliseconds to do that.

>>52671258

yeah wtf

>>52671012
I want to play that game.

>>52672669
She was German and in the Air Forcd, how the fuck do you expect that to work out?

>>52669775
How do you deal with a player who tries to break the game or fuck with it for the express purpose of his own amusement?

>>52672900
At 19, who fucking cares? Hit it like the fist of an angry god and piss off when she gets bored.

>>52673118
Kick them out

>>52673274
harsh but seems to be the only option left

>>52669775
>Its head its to big
You've been to grammar school, right? You know you have to bee 18 to post here, don't you?

>>52673340
>telling a guy off for adding a single wrong letter
Jesus dude that's nitpicking.

>>52673315
Also, you could hust tell them to not do what theyre doing

>>52673418
That's the thing, i've spoken to him about how his style of play is a detriment to the fun and cohesion of everyone's experience, and his only response is "i just like fucking with stuff man"

>>52673694
>"i just like fucking with stuff man"
Kick him from life.

>>52673721
The kinda dude that likes to burn stuff and uses nihilism as an excuse for chaos

>>52671258
>>52672669
Don't stick your dick in crazy, lads.

>tfw you have a ton of That Guy / That DM stories but you know those mother fuckers browse /tg/ too and you don't want to get caught talking shit behind their backs

>>52669853
Had a DM tell me in 3.5 that if a rogue failed an open lock check he couldn't try again for a year or a level. After reading multiple entries on "try again" and "taking 10" showing that, yes, it is perfectly allowable, I was told that I was rules lawyering and not invited back to the group. Apparently this guy had been playing 3.5 for years, and DMing consistently.

>>52672900
WITH AN AIRPLANE

>>52674350
Write the story down, then go over it again from another player's perspective

>>52672214
Yea. i fucking love jojo's bizzare adventure but every god damn fight scene has to explain every god damn thing.

File: 1447093559008.jpg (1MB, 1440x2017px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1440x2017px

>>52669775

>>52669775
>its dong is to big,
I would encase it in wax and mass produce giga dildos for ez money. Am I that guy?

Bampu

>>52671012
I always keep a enveloppe, sealed, with my everyday preparations. I've yet to be bested

>>52674683
Topkek, genius.

>>52669775

So he didn't give you any modifiers for it? Like, it wasn't Easy or Very Easy? I mean, I can understand making the craft check, but it should have at least been Easy or Very Easy.

>>52675488
I don't know whether or not I hope this is real. If it is, then autism greater than I ever imagined exists in this world. If it's fake, then that's a good story wasted.

>>52670038
>>52671258
I'm thinking she was not so great looking and probably a bit on the creepy side what with the werewolf rape and menstrual cunnilingus

File: Screenshot (315).png (281KB, 1367x625px) Image search: [Google]

281KB, 1367x625px

Here is the story I told of the second worst DM I ever had.

>>52674450
That was the rule in an earlier edition, as the original theif "skills" were all aparently spells.

File: 1484985942338.jpg (123KB, 374x470px) Image search: [Google]

123KB, 374x470px

>>52678689
>game with no alignments
>characters have to be a certain alignment

>playing VtM for the first time
>setting is dark ages
>create a combat-focused Gangrel orphan kid for simplicity and getting used to the system
>feeling OP as fuck with 7 dice for attack, 7 for dodge, 4 for soak AND feral claws at start
>pretty much shit in every other department though
>add couple of merits and flaws for spice
>fast-forward to first session
>find out two players jacked up their characters with over 20 merits/flaws
>one of them started out with 6 dexterity, 12 fucking dice for attack, unarmed aggravated damage, reduced difficulties for pretty much everything, only apparent flaw is that they're completely reckless
>nerdrage at broken chars, GM is totally fine with it
>says merits/flaws are meant to be used to deepen the characters
>broken chars pretty much one-hit nearly everything they touch

>roll with it, don't care anymore
>just waiting for my gruesome death when GM has to scale enemies to their broken levels and some guy sneezes at me

>>52673381
>Its head its to big, its dong is to big
Not the guy you replied to, but OP did it twice

>>52679160
>It happened twice, therefore I must nitpick.
Who gives a fuck, you breathing more than twice in your life was clearly a mistake.

>>52679416
>It happened twice, therefore OP doesn't know the difference
Likewise, buddy

It might be shit, but it's the best/worst one I got:
>Me: "We've gone down paths A through H, sent my familiar to scout above the maze, and have even gone through whatever portal was inside the sundial. I might stand to reason that we should try to enter the hedge itself. Who's with me guys?"
>Party: "Nah."
>Druid casts Conjure Animals and gets eight honey badgers.
>Druid commands the honey badgers to dig.
>The ground fills up and kills all eight honey badgers.
>Druid: "Well, they're fey, so it's not animal cruelty, right?"
>DM: "Right."
>Me: "I send forth my familiar to scout inside the hedge."
>DM: "Your familiar doesn't want to."
>Me: "It's not allowed to disobey, it says it in the spell description."
>DM: "It doesn't want to."
>Me: "Is there some sort of magic in the hedge interfering with my familiar right now?"
>DM: "Roll Arcana."
>Me: "31, natural 20."
>DM: "You don't know."
>Me: "I cast Detect Magic."
>DM: "You're blinded."
>Me: "I'm not going into that hedge not knowing what's on the other side. I tie my familiar to my staff and poke it through the hedge."
>DM: "Your familiar leaves you."
>Me: "I telepathically tell my familiar, 'You've have violated cosmic law! If you do not comply I will file a complaint to the Fey Courts and there will be repercussions.'"
>DM: "Your familiar isn't having any of it."
>Me: "Okay. Obviously the hedge is having some sort of effect on my spells. It might stand to reason that my familiar has been irredeemably corrupted, in which case I'll need a new familiar. I dismiss Headwig, permanently."
>DM: "He feels hurt. You just rejected him."
>Monk: "I thought you were neutral good. I'm starting to question that now."
>Paladin: "I know I nearly killed you in our last few encounters, and I said I was going to buy you healing potions to make up for that since you were the only person in the party without any. But now, I take that back."
>DM: "Yeah. In fact, wizard change your alignment."

File: 11times.jpg (13KB, 261x194px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 261x194px

>>52679585
>natural 20

>>52670038
>mfw reading that story
>mfw I have no face and I must scream.

>>52679634
What about the natural 20 was disruptive to the story, other than it being a cliche? It's not like the entire story hinges about that one roll, quite the opposite from most stories since it was simply brushed aside, which I think was the point.

File: Polish minister of defense.jpg (11KB, 174x321px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 174x321px

>Player has played multiple sessions of 5e.
>3 to be exact.
>Player still doesn't understand how chosen skills are proficiency + ability modifier.
>Player still doesn't understand the difference between attack modifier and damage modifier.
>Matter of fact, player barely understand anything on his character sheet.
>Player always plays CN.
>Player constantly gets in trouble in-game, like attacking a dude in the streets while guards are looking.

Forever DM who's a 3.fag vet, is there a way to fix this?

>>52679150
This is why I fucking hate power-gaming

>>52679585
Hahahaha what the fuck... You get shitted on because you dismissed your familiar, and no one bats an eye because to the druid that just killed 8 honey badgers

>>52679585
If a GM is hoping you roll badly so that they can blame their stubbornness on a dice roll, they're being petty and awful. If you're going to completely veto something, you should be open, honest and say "I'm afraid no matter how hard you try, that isn't going to lead to the right answer, but you have a sense that you will find out why soon enough"
Don't even get me started on forcibly changing alignments as a punishment, especially for trying to think outside the box and not walk straight into the obvious trap.

>>52680436
The funny thing was it wasn't even a trap. There was nothing dangerous inside the hedge. It was in fact, the correct way forward. The hedge wasn't having any effect on my spellcasting. The DM legitimately believed that what was happening was the correct interpretation of the rules under normal circumstances. Despite citations of the rulebooks to the contrary, the DM would counter with "I don't feel like it." I didn't walk out immediately because most DMs I've played under were like this, so I was under the false impression that this was supposed to be normal. I only walked out from that game when the DM later spazzed out for reasons I could not comprehend.

>>52679747
The player clearly isn't interested in the actual game, but only in what having a totally open/free video game.

Explain that it's not acceptable, that it hurts the game and kills enjoyment for yourself and/or others, and that it needs to change immediately or they are out.

>>52680636
>I only walked out from that game when the DM later spazzed out for reasons I could not comprehend
Details, anon.
Maybe we can help unlock the mystery

>>52674450
Those Guys who switch systems without reading the rulebook and hoping that their 10 year experience in aDnD is enough to play or GM anything.
> Come to WFRP3 game
> Start bitching when things don't work as they did in aDnD
> Refuse to acknowledge that they haven't even opened the rulebook

>>52679634
You shouldn't make players roll at all if they can't succeed. Therefore DM is a bitch.

>>52679747

I had someone like that. He based his expectations for tabletopping half on World of Warcraft, half on Game of Thrones. To the point that he would ask if going into a cave meant the party had "entered an instance". Early on in the campaign, he hired a prostitute to follow the party around and sleep with his character so he could father a bastard child because "bastards make good drama in fantasy." When he realized just how many sessions of real-time would need to pass for the whore to even noticably conceive, he murdered her in a nobleman's guest bed so he could take his money back. Then he objected loudly when the city guard came after him because I was being too strict with the realism.

>>52679585
Unbelievable.

I don't believe you.

File: IMG_0133.jpg (23KB, 356x256px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 356x256px

>>52680946
>he murdered her in a nobleman's guest bed so he could take his money back. Then he objected loudly when the city guard came after him because I was being too strict with the realism.
What the fuck.

>>52680946
wat de fug

>>52680802
By this point my wizard has committed suicide in effort to wake up from what he thought was a bad dream. I am now playing a fighter. Somewhere in a tower, directly after the maze, an efreeti is found trapped within a magic circle:
>Me: “Hello there.”
>Paladin: “What are you doing? Don’t talk to it. You’re going to get us killed.”
>Paladin holds me back.
>Efreeti: “Free me and I shall grant you three wishes.”
>Me: “Guys can we think about this?”
>Monk: “I’m neutral good, so I’m going to help him.”
>Monk tramples over the magic circle, destroying it. Paladin can’t stop him because he’s busy with me.
>Everyone rolls initiative.
>We down the efreeti in a single round, and by we, I mean everyone else because I don’t have any equipment yet.
>DM: “The efreeti disintegrates.”
>Me: “But genies only disintegrate when they die, don’t they?”
>DM: (Checks book) “Oh, then instead the efreeti falls unconscious.”
>Me: “Hey druid, isn’t Planar Binding on your spell list? And didn’t we find a jewel worth 1,000 gp in the previous room? Doesn’t the paladin also have holy water for a Magic Circle? Efreeti are often slave masters, so it would be a delicious irony for the slaver to be the slave.”
(Part 1/2)

>>52681234
>Party spends 10 minutes checking their spells because they’ve almost never cast a spell from level 1 to fraking level 13.
>Druid & Paladin: “So we do. Alright, let’s have at it.”
>Druid and Paladin spend five minutes preparing their spells while me and the Monk keep watch on the Efreeti.
>As they begin casting, the efreeti disappears.
>DM: “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
>Party: “What?”
>DM: “You guys have been discussing what to do for several hours in character. The efreeti was only pretending to be unconscious. Even if you did cast the spell on him, it would’ve automatically failed because I’m not going to let you guys run around with a fucking genie.”
>Druid: “I was just thinking about putting him to work on public works projects like I did with the last few guys we fought.”
>DM: “No fucking way.”
(Part 2/2)

The DM’s inanity had always been directed at me, so I didn’t notice it because I always thought I was doing something wrong. When the DM spazzed out at another player, I realized the DM was just a bitch, but the other players wouldn’t believe me, so I just walked out.

>>52681241
If he didn't want you players to draw from the deck of many things, he should not have given you it.

It was smart that you left when you did.

>>52675504
did he get the recepy?

>>52675264
>five seconds have passed

>>52680636
>the DM later spazzed out for reasons I could not comprehend.
>>52681241
>I’m not going to let you guys run around with a fucking genie.”
>I realized the DM was just a bitch
Sounds like you comprehend just fine.

As a GM, I love it when the players come up with crazy things like this.
And that was a lot better than most.

He sounds like he is just 100% unwilling or unable to improvise.
His responses show a lack of understanding of his own world as a functioning place.

In short, he sucks and reacts emotionally to anything that challenges his meager skills at GMing.

>>52670038
>party of five, two of which only were there once, one who never showed.
>we got through a few sessions.

so two person game then?

>>52681356
Good GM Thinking
>Okay, so I need to send a strike team to reclaim/destroy/free the Ifriti before they do too much with it.

Bad DM thinking.
>What's my excuse for saying no...

>>52678689
seriously what the fuck?

I have a friend that gets upset whenever we find a counter to his powergaming ways.

Says were mad.

>>52681816
Welcome to the club buddy

Somewhat unrelated to this thread, but I don't feel like shitting up the rest of tg with this question
What experiences have you had with literal autists in your games? Do they play differently than regular people?

>>52678031
Nope. +0. On a 15. On a d100 system.

>>52681862
It depends on how bad they are. I had one throw dice at another player because he made (obnoxious) dwarf jokes (the autist's character was a dwarf).
The other autist I've gamed with is fine but he likes to think that he knows all possible decisions the group, or specific characters, can take. He's always pleasantly surprised but still confused when something he had not expected happens. And he's not even the GM.

>>52679634
I thought natural 20s only applies to attacks and saves, when did it apply to skills?

>>52671227
There's a Pathfinder feat where a wizard can tattoo spells on their body and cast those spells as per the scroll rules.

>>52682251
iirc in 5e it adds a +5 to the check you were trying to do.

>>52671258
>>52672669
I don't know about you guys, but I don't want anything to do with a girl that has a fetish for drinking periods and absolutely zero sense of boundaries or what's socially acceptable. Yeah sure you can have a long distance relationship but I wouldn't want to be you when things inevitably don't work out and the crazy military chick gets mad.

>>52671954
Your GM seems like a good person at heart.

>>52669775
>we "accidentally" meet BBEG
if you reply with ugh you can kill yourself you fuck
>due to story reasons, BBEG is in a weakened state, and there is a hole in his plot armor
>I take advantage of it, and because the DM has forgotten it, I manage to coax the BBEG into wearing a cursed item of strangulation
>accidentally end up killing BBEG, as per RAW at least
>DM goes crazy and bans me from table
its no my fault you tried to kill me, and now I used the same dirty trick on your plot

>>52682251
It's a common enough house rule that 20s impact a variety of outcomes

>>52682251
A 1 and 20 have no special bearing on saving throws and ability checks in 5e. Even knowing that I still called it out because when the barbarian rolled a natural 20 with a -1 bonus on an Arcana check, he basically learned everything there was to know about the last place we were at, so I thought might include both the result and the unmodified roll to get a bit of extra credence before the DM, but to no avail.

>>52682623
It makes more sense to. Critical hits and misses are *barely* optional rules any more.

>>52681953

I know WFRP quite well, and honestly, the skill check you were taking was right to be Crafting of some description, but it should have been Easy (+20%) or Very Easy (+30%). It sounds like the DM had it out for you.

File: 1491748001669.png (187KB, 340x382px) Image search: [Google]

187KB, 340x382px

>>52673340
>you have to bee 18 to post
jesus Christmas anon. Bee? Fucking bee? Are you a 2 year old infant with the dreams of becoming a bumblebee because if not you might as well shoot yourself.

>>52682612
>BBEG
uggh

>>52681862
I had one who insisted I make him his own custom character from the ground up. I did this because I used to do it all the time and figured, "why not, could be fun" so I made his character with the page numbers next to all his abilities and powers and asked only that he read those things. He never did. Even a little. When called out on it he insisted that he read every page I sent. But somehow he has no idea that his character had any of the powers on his sheet. He constantly complained that we weren't playing mutants and masterminds and would use the one argument in favor of mutants and masterminds that makes me think people are so stupid I just write them off, "why do you want me to change the entire game and learn a new system in the middle of the game?" "Eh" seriously, you sound like a lazy cunt who can't even come up with a coherent argument in favor of yourself.

If you claim to gave read the books and get caught lying, fess up. Don't lie more, it only makes you look worse.
If you want me to change the game completely and shift everyone's characters into a new system, then give me a coherent reason.
If you haven't read the book for the system I'm running then don't complain about how the book is organized and the rules don't make sense, you haven't read it, what qualifies you to make this judgment?

>>52670038
Werewolf rape sex is surprisingly common among chicks as a 'hot' thing, but mense-drinking threw me for a loop.

>>52671433
AIDS moby isn't as bad as he used to be, and I suppose evert group needs SOMEONE like him.

>>52678689
I remember this, and remember replying with something like "with a gunshot wound."

>>52681862

I feel like I might be the autist of the group.

>>52672900
cam sex? I'm assuming that's what everyone is getting at

>>52681258
Not that anon, but funny you should mention that.
Just last night i had a run in with the deck of many things. Turns out all the luck i have been missing out on had been gathering for the card-draw, and now the gm is questioning himself if the deck was really the best item to be waving in front of my nose

>>52669775
OP here.
The GM just kicked me without saying a word. I din't even realized it until i noticed the Discord chat was missing. I checked Roll 20, and sure enough the game was gone.
So that's the end of my tale i suppose.

>>52670035
This is the way to do caps.
>>52669930
Never this.
We are better than this.

>>52685732
Since he's clearly browsing here, do we want to send him a message?

>>52687063
Yea.
You're a coward.
If you cant tell a player face to face that you got a problem with him, then you shouldn't GM in the first place. It takes balls, something you clearly don't have.
Go fuck yourself Fungod.

>>52682634
Why was a barbarian who was not proficient in Arcana even permitted to roll a check on it?

>>52687136
Bump for fungod to see

Not really all that bad but heres my little story.

>Playing RT
>Play the RT
>Find out our rival has been cutting into our business and attacking our ships.
>Get into vox communication with him.
>Attempt intimidation
>First, take a big step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!
>Chat is silent
>Precede to recite the entire Tropic Thunder speech.
>I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
>Roll time
>Any bonuses?
>+0
>Fucking really?

File: 1492096807950.jpg (200KB, 960x801px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 960x801px

>>52675488
I have infact met human beans who think that isn't the worst idea around.

File: 1491729554330.jpg (65KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 600x600px

>>52683355
Jesus

File: 1483623976070.jpg (388KB, 977x1210px) Image search: [Google]

388KB, 977x1210px

So the game was set in 1713 Nassau, mostly post-piracy era. Our heroes:

>Connor “Guy” Connington, a con man whose ultimate goal was to accumulate power and wealth in the new city.
>Sunny Winters, a sociopath with very little actual backstory.
>Lewis Trilby, a performer who wanted to open a circus in the new town.
>James the Builder - played by a guy named James who does construction work. New to tabletop.
Lastly, and most importantly for a /that guy/ story:
>Madame Beauregard, a wealthy French merchant girl who has a split persona that is super into fire and crime. She’s played by a guy who unironically enjoys sword art online and the sonic series.

Beau's player would throw fits about anything and everything, starting from session 1, where Beau would go up to everyone - be they player, NPC, enemy, humanoid-looking shrub - and try to sell her wares. It became a major impediment to the game. Beau would be somewhere trying to sell clothing for almost no profit while the rest of the players were progressing the plot. Beau's player was irritated that the party didn't like this, as "that's what my character would do!" (this became his catch phrase). Finally, I told Beau's player that I'd give him a chance at the end of the sessions to throw some merchenteering rolls and that they'd probably make more money that way.

I've got a lot more, anyone interested?

>>52688618
Why the fuck not.

>>52688618
I see how this could be annoying, but not really all that guy worthy. Do share more.

>>52671954
this is why you shouldn't let weebs play d&d

>>52688618
Other highlights from game 1:
>pulling a knife on a village girl who refused to buy her clothing, then getting angry when other guys at the bar rushed to defend the girl
>gave a shitload of money to Connor to guard her, then got mad when he ended up with more money

I asked for some direction so I could plan the next session, and the party decided that the first thing they wanted to do this time was attend the fight night in the basement of one of the sugarcane plantations. The party began to make bets and chat amongst themselves and the locals, but every time blood was shed, I made a roll for something to sense the blood. Before long, a smash is heard and cracks appear in the ceiling.

This next part requires some background. I hate tracking player experience, so there’s a mechanic I made up where everyone sends me a text about who the session MVP was. That person levels up and can increase a stat. Beau’s player was uppity about not being picked week one, stating that it was only because I did a poor job DMing. But this week Beau’s player wanted the MVP spot, so he decides the best way to handle this situation is to remove the beam holding the ceiling up, dropping the three into the basement for heavy damage. If i hadn't fudged some rolls, there would've been a 2KO right there. The beast is quickly finished off by one of the hunters, and Beau claims credit for the kill.

At a second plantation, the party begins investigating the origins of this monster. They learn exactly nothing because two rounds into the interrogation Beau sneaks upstairs to light a fire, which quickly spreads with the alcohol propellant Beau had taken from the slave fight.

Connor saves the family and the session was called there. I had a lot more material but none of it transitioned nicely from arson.

Beau’s player demanded the vote for MVP be held right there at the table, then bitched and moaned until two people to move their votes from Connor to Beau.

>>52688973
The party starts session 3 in the saloon, and some opium dealers enter the bar. Sunny and Connor have broken halos around their heads, and see these on others every so often. They have no idea what they mean, but the opium dealers have halos and also appear to know about them. They ask Connor to pick up their latest shipment of drugs and agree to give him information if he does so. He obliges, and I make a few IC and OOC attempts to get the party to go along because I had a few outcomes planned for the session, but they all involved the party at least leaving together.

Unfortunately for those plans, Beau’s player had looked at James’ character sheet and noticed that James had more money than the rest of the party combined. Last session two massive mansions were destroyed, and James got a cut of the repair costs. Beau’s player wanted that money, and spent time convincing James that he needed Beau’s legal advice to get past a minor incident from session 1. (Also, "it wouldn't be in character to go on a drug run" - though Beau didn't know what Connor was plotting in character).

So the party split. Connor and Sunny went off to collect opium with minimal issues. They befriended a young witch and learned a little about the island. Meanwhile, team Beau made it to the home of the late NPC (James had just been acquitted of murder). They investigated by walking right inside and beginning to search the place. Beau made it a point to say that his character was disguised. I figured it wasn't unreasonable that a clothing salesperson might have a thick cloak and gave anyone trying to identify her a +1 difficulty (important later).

Down the stairs in a flurry of confusion, the NPC's widow appeared, holding a pistol and demanding to know what these strange men were doing. James knocked the woman out and began to search the house. Beau made a roll to physically stop him from searching, and the two argued back and forth long enough for the woman to wake back up.

>>52689171
Lewis saw the woman, shouted and ran. James ran too, lamenting that he was definitely going to jail now. Beau (who, i remind you, came along as legal counsel) pulled a knife on the woman. Beau missed the slash spectacularly and the widow shot her. Beau used her ability (burns a willpower, describes what she wants to happen. DM rolls 1d4 for a random magic effect towards that end) to cast a lightning spell that knocked the woman out. The neighbors, who came running at the gunshot, arrived to see the cloaked Beau standing over the unconscious, smoking body.

Beau’s player spent about fifteen full minutes trying to argue with me that a young french merchant girl should be able to easily steal a gun from a person standing yards away without being shot. He then decided that Beau could throw something distracting and leg it, but the difficulty for that was too high. After Sunny’s player reminded Beau’s that his character was minmax'd for social rolls, he finally agreed to have Beau talk her way out of it.

Beau poured her last willpower into the roll and threw her teammates under the bus, saying that James did it and pretending to faint. The two hunters tended to her and sent for a rickshaw to the doctor’s. Lewis returned and immediately told the truth as to what had happened, saying that a mysterious woman had solicited them for legal services and then attempted to kill the young woman at the tour guide's home.

Meanwhile, Beau had snuck out of the house and found the rickshaw taking her victim to the doctor. Beau had been saving a small vial of poison for the woman who wouldn't buy clothes, but used that poison here instead, somehow passing the stealth checks.

Since the police were tied up with the attempted-then-actual murder, Sunny and Connor made it back uneventfully. This was half a reward for actually following the plot and half because it made sense in context. As written, a manhunt would have taken place to hunt the new opium dealers.

File: maskofthechildspyglass.jpg (121KB, 359x305px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 359x305px

>>52683398
>He constantly complained that we weren't playing mutants and masterminds and would use the one argument in favor of mutants and masterminds that makes me think people are so stupid I just write them off, "why do you want me to change the entire game and learn a new system in the middle of the game?" "Eh" seriously, you sound like a lazy cunt who can't even come up with a coherent argument in favor of yourself.

Holy shit, people do this for systems other than D&D and GURPS.

>>52689358
Since I gave Beau the opportunity to make more money, I took some extra time between sessions and came up with a job for everyone during down time. This gives the party a consistent extra ~50 silver each session.

Connor: started a chain letter in a bottle telling people to place silver in a shrine and pass the message on to five more people or their mother will die in their sleep.
Sunny: translated for the ships that passed by. Could make linguistics rolls to learn plot information / find rare loot
Lewis: performed on street corners. Later commissioned James to build up a tent.
James: made building repairs. Would get a cut of the cost to repair any damaged building as long as he wasn’t responsible for the destruction.
Beau: Could purchase and sell items on the ships for high profit. I made up a table I would roll from and determine the weekly ships’ origin, cargo and general wealth to guide.

Beau had British and French clothing in her inventory, and this week a ship from the colonies was at the dock. Beau decided that this paragon of good business sense was going to purchase five cotton shirts (valued at 20 silver) from the ship, then sell them right back to the ship at a markup. According to my chart, that was going to get him 5 silver in profit.

I told him to just take 60 silver. He threw nearly an hour - hold up, take that into perspective, 3:35pm until 4:15pm - hissy fit.

He tried to explain why he deserved more because his character was a brilliant businessperson. Not just a little more - he was demanding triple what i gave him, interspersed with telling me what a miserable DM I was being.

This persisted even after I explained that he should sell things to different markets. This persisted even after every other player tried to tell him he was wrong. This persisted even after I purchased Connor’s player’s jacket for $20 and tried to sell it back to him for $25.

Eventually, he just huffed and said it was bullshit, "but whatever."

>>52673340
Oh my god you fucking autismo. I'm so glad I'm not a virgin.

>>52688618
>Connor “Guy” Connington, a con man
>Sunny Winters
>Lewis Trilby

Your PCs' names sound like the cast of a sitcom and I kind of love it.

>>52688042
>copypastes the Tropical Thunder speech
>surprised when the DM doesn't give you a bonus
I'd give you negatives for being uncreative desu

I don't really have an interesting autistic explosion story but when that guy in my group ran a game it was incredibly dull and he ruled that all enemy equipment broke and we got no experience for like 4 sessions, we just told him straight we weren't enjoying his game and moved onto the next

>>52689723
Oh fuck I really hope I'm wrong but I think I know the people in this story.

>>52689358
Your game sounds tight. Just let the bitch die.

>>52689841
I concur. If the player's going to throw hissy fits over the tiniest shit anyway, then instead of humoring him, next time the character does something that should result in her death, let her die and give him a reason to throw the last fit you'll have to deal with.

>>52688618
>1713 Nassau
Sorry, newfag here. What game/system did you use for this?

>>52689841
No spoilers, but it ends happily
>>52689560
For the next session i was determined ro keep the team together, since Beau claimed i never gave them stakes to follow the plot. Well, Beau had given James a legal services business card, and Lewis told the police that the murderer was a mysterious woman who gave James legal advice. A few rolls and some between session roleplaying with James and I was ready to force Beau to follow the group this time.

The session began, and Beau was contacted by the investigator. Beau’s player immediately broke character to remind me that he was IN DISGUISE during the murder. To him, that must've meant invisible. I stayed in character and informed Beau that she was placed at the scenes, and the investigator pulled the business card from his pocket. Beau tried to bluff, and the investigator outrolled with half the dice.

Beau’s player had a massive bitchfit about this, insisting that I was being unfair and sucked at DMing, and was likely to make a horrible cop, as I had just finished the application process for it. I told him to stop playing if it wasn't fun (with my fingers crossed). He stayed sitting at the table, but physically turned himself away from the group.

Back to game-world, James was in the investigator’s office as well, and the investigator asked the two to tail Sunny and Connor to the mysterious cult they’d been hanging with (Louis was out this session). When Beau found out that his character wasn't going to die, he grudgingly began to play again. When they found the cult, Beau immediately joined, then tried to convince them to murder the investigator.

The leader didn’t trust them, and tasked them with inducting other villagers into the cult.

Eventually they succeed, and the cult tells them about the magic items they want to collect for their deity.

>>52689906
It was entirely homebrew hubtown setting with rolls based on whitewolf d10 system

>>52689907

Lewis got back into the group, and they began hunting the first of the mcguffins, a key that opens any door. The party entered the hospital where it was last seen and Beau demanded that they split up, stating to James that “I’m not going with /you/ again.”

Eventually, Sunny and Beau went upstairs while Lewis, Connor and James made friends with the janitor, who happened to have the key. After trading for it, the party decided that they were going to betray the cult and keep the key. This was horrifying to Lewis, who had been forced into the cult by the party and was rightfully worried the leader was going to kill him.

Lewis lashed out, stealing the key and making a break for the door, hoping to give it to the cult and keep the party alive. Beau sees a chance for conflict and takes it, attacking Lewis with a sword. OOCly he states his intent to kill Lewis. Beau had never seen Lewis using his ability, which is essentially just a grenade that does uncontested fire damage. Lewis demonstrated it, and Beau and Connor are both flung back and injured. Beau' s player had a fit over this, saying an unconested damage spell was unfair and conveniently forgetting his own uncontested lightning bolt used previously. His complaints were largely ignored.

Lewis jokingly throws a d20 for "fire" and rolls a 20. Fire erupted. James rushed the janitor out through the basement (the two end up having a solo adventure after where they create a laborers’ guild) while the rest of the party squares off.

Connor shoots Lewis and steals the key back, but a cultist enters and distracts Connor from doing much more. Beau (now down to 4hp) is coming closer, but Lewis is bleeding out. I tell Lewis he can either roll to stabilize and flee or manage one final attack. The glorious bastard yells “ALLAHU AHKBAR” and holds up a grenade as Sunny and Beau advance, blowing himself to pieces.

>>52690154
I have no idea what is happening or whos who but i like it.

File: 1431434886351.gif (2MB, 300x204px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 300x204px

>Playing with new DM
>"Before we begin, I like to make my campaigns *very* realistic"
>Unsure if this is a good sign or not. Should have been a red flag in hind-sight
>Create our characters and sit through DM's narration of setting
>Typical "kingdom in peril, evil necromancer, stuff"
>Before we leave the tavern DM tells us we may have to poop
>wut.jpg
>"Roll a d6 to see if you have to poop now"
>Everyone nervously looks around and rolls their die
>Rolls are 2, 4, 4, and 6
>DM tells (2) they may be constipated and will need to roll again later
>Dead silence
>Other three players are told to go to the outhouses and roll a d14
>4, 9, 13
>DM pulls out a paper
>It's the Bristol Stool Chart
>(4) is told their stool was fine and they're ready to adventure
>(9) is told they were lacking fiber but are adventure ready
>(13) is told they shot brown liquid everwhere, may need to see an apothecary or priest for colon cancer, and receives a -2 Constitution penalty until their next stool roll
>After every result DM made a comment like "good stool, Taarna" or "a little dry, Rhodri" or a noise that sounded like a duck making a rasberry.

And that's how we disbanded on the first session.

>>52690398
How did you find this DM?

File: Screenshot_20170413-185706.jpg (770KB, 1440x2560px) Image search: [Google]

770KB, 1440x2560px

>>52690154
Last post. Image is to prove I'm not totally full of shit

Beau throws a near-shouting-volume fit; that there has to be something he can do to prevent it, that Lewis can’t just kill Beau, that dodging should block more damage than I claimed, that the game was stupid, etc. After hurling every possible insult and not getting a reaction, Beau’s player goes very quiet and stares at his character sheet, brow furrowed. After a few minutes, he decides that Beau uses her ability to magically shield herself.

The roll is weak, and the shield doesn’t hold, leaving Beau at 0HP. Connor had murdered the cultist and fled the hospital, and Sunny had taken a blast from the grenade as well, so she was close behind Connor. This meant that there was no one around to heal Beau, and with only one die to throw for healing, not succeeding the roll would have killed her. Barely passing the stability checks, Beau manages to get to Connor’s house where she FUCKING PASSES the saving roll. I contained my rage.

Over the next week, I was sent a message from Beau’s player. He decided that Beau had actually died, and his new player is Beau’s sister, who just happens to be better min/max’d and is a navy captain who carries rifles in an X across her back and has a pet falcon and cat used to scout ahead. I laughed.

The planning for the next session saw Beau’s player missing a game for the first time. He spammed the group text for an entire work shift with unintelligible paranoid autism, talking about how unfair everything was and how we were choosing Lewis’ player over him.

I made a new group chat, excluding this particular player. We’re meeting up again Saturday, and I plan to include Beau’s zombie in the session so the players get a chance to kill her one more time.

>>52688618
>the sonic series
Anon, we are gonna have to have a problem here.
Yeah, a lot of the later games are shit, but if you are gonna shit on the genesis/32x days because internet autists, you need to go get kicked in the dick.

>>52670038
>AF chick in germany
>I'm in AF trying to get stationed in germany

I hope there's still /tg/ qts when I get there. I havn't played a pnp game in too long.

>>52690499
>>52670038
>Finished reading the screencap

I take it back.

>>52690469
>A single ran on message
Yea its autism alright.

>>52689680
What matters is how it works in the moment, not how original it is.
Go fellate originality when nothing you know of or will ever create with be original.

File: e7d.jpg (237KB, 850x563px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 850x563px

>>52690484
The conversation started with someone stating that new Sonic games have gone to shit. He immediately defended them and somehow in there claimed that Shadow was a cool character with a lot of depth.

>>52689723
I remember the second thread, holy shit, it was bad.

>>52681862
I am autistic, and played 3.5 with a group with two other autistic people. I think I'm pretty well behaved, and one of the other autist was fine too, but the third one was a pain to play with.
>flagrant disregard for campaign's flavor, limitations, rules
>no sense of appropriate context or tone of scenes
>just plain making shit up as if he's co-DMing or something
No matter how many times we talked with him about it, no matter how many times the DM snapped at him over it, he wouldn't learn. We dropped him from the group. It wasn't just autism though, he was a pathological liar and probably had other issues as well.

>>52690469
You poor GM, I am only happy it ended... well.

>>52690565
Coward.

>>52688973
>everyone sends me a text about who the session MVP was
Oh boy, I can see this leading to major drama if your party isn't 100% chill, fair, mature adults, and slight unbalance too. Why not just use milestones?

Other than that, you sound like a great GM and I'm glad the story ends well. Fuck That Guy.

>>52681862
There's an autist in my group. He's not the worst player but he's definitely pretty bad. Mostly he's an edgy doofus who can't differentiate between in character and ooc

>>52691028
Peter, is that you?

>>52669775
>DM says he's running a sandbox
>But then soft railroads you into doing his plots anyway.
>So we try to buck his stupid mold
>Tries to steer us into this tavern where we can overhear some important city officials plotting some shit or another.
>Obvious stealth theme, since he's pointing out good hiding places and things we can use to distract people
>instead of eavesdropping on the people he wants us to, we decide to break into the cellar and rob it.
>It isn't mapped out like the rest of the tavern
>I can tell he's pissed
>One quick roll for our search, and he brusquely announces that we've found cases of ale and wine, with a value which is petty change to players of our level.

I'm not quite at the ready to leave his dumb game, but I'm feeling very disenchanted.

>>52687299
In 5e you can try even if you're not proficient. But since you don't have the proficiency bonus, it's more likely that you'll fail
It's fantasy, it's not like he never heard of any magic or anything, it's pretty easy to wing an explanation in case he suceeds

File: Healbot.jpg (86KB, 550x827px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 550x827px

>Make a neutral good dwarf cleric to help weekday DM group I am invited into
>My only intention is a friendly support healer, I am pleasant beyond words and go out of my way to do what I feel is right and law abiding
>Tournament comes along, winner gets to ask any question to Gods and receive an answer.
>Decide if I win I will ask how I can better comfort and heal the masses, to further my background goals.
>I win first round against opponent he has purposefully put in to rape me in a tournament...a large death machine ogre he openly admits to being unbeatable.
>Legitimately survive on insanely good rolls on my part and terrible ones on his, and a little help from the other players calling bullshit. I don't get full xp though because I wasn't meant to win...
>Second round against player who made his powers specifically to waste me it almost seems, as I realize more and more about his abilities basically anti-cleric/healing.
>Wow and I'm the only healer and cleric around these parts...
>Dice Gods favor me and I just barely survive to the last blow.
>Third round needed against another player who is pretty chill, however is higher levle and has a Godly amount of special armor abilities and shit could of rekt me in seconds, he has made easy work of last two opponents.
>Dice gods are favoring me yet again and victory is mine...
>2 other players in the group try to kill me for winning the tournament outside the stadium in a perfectly constructed ambush which they were happy to plot with the DM. I am railroaded into this deathtrap.

File: itsfuntime.gif (2MB, 500x276px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x276px

>>52692004

>Dice Gods, once again due to extreme luck and their terrible rolls I live through the Ambush BARELY conscious, their plans foiled by their own messups as well. Despite being in a location where evil is destroyed utterly, they are only taken prisoner...
>Next game....
>Same two players make characters out to stop me from asking my question to the God, redirecting it all to their own special new goals which require upmost priority.
>They use apparently characters from previous games they played with the GM to validify these necessary changes and plot twists.
>Doctor Who level railroading going on.
>I remain pleasant and calm, and we do eventually get around to asking my question, despite mass drama.
>At this point they are boiling to the brim with plot twists they want to add in, and I know that even if I ask about the greatest meatloaf recipe it won't matter, GM has everything Nostalgia Avenue.
>Ask my question, it obviously twists to what they want.
>So now we are getting pressed on into terrain which literally shoves us in the “right” direction.
>Now the GM mentions that perhaps my character will become evil...
>Thinking back it's already been attempted several times before with items that instantly turn you evil.

Now I am realizing my only true ally is the Dice Gods who for some reason have kept me around this long, providing the only legitimate reason that cannot be ignored despite player/GM bias and railroading.

>>52690643
did you at least modify the speech to fit the situation, or was it a word-for-word, out-of-place movie reference?

>>52691624
>I'm feeling very disenchanted.
You are trying to fight the GM, and you got mad when there were no valuables outside the expected in a random tavern's wine cellar.
You are all idiots.

>>52692216
>did you
>casually assumes that only OP will call you out on your idiocy
Continue being a fucktard.

>>52692656
I'm not the anon that greentexted you. Sorry for the confusion.

>>52689814
Please be right. And if so, please tell us more of this man's idiocy because we all know there is more.

>>52692004
>I don't get full xp though because I wasn't meant to win...
You know, of all the bullshit these guys and the DM pulled, this one stands out to me. Probably because the DMG explicitly says that players should receive *more* XP for harder encounters, not less.

File: the value of zero.png (127KB, 1259x1050px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 1259x1050px

Have an older That DM story with a good ending.

>>52691624
>>One quick roll for our search, and he brusquely announces that we've found cases of ale and wine, with a value which is petty change to players of our level.
I mean, the rest is bullshit but what do you expect the average tavern to do? Remember, most farm animals are worth no more than 2 gold, enough to feed a family for a year or two. Most places deal in silver and likely run real thin profit margins. I'm not sure what you were expecting.

>>52669775
>Friend runs games for my group very occasionally
>Tells us that there will be plentiful intrigue as just combat is a stale experience
>Other friend rolls up a smooth-talker who tries to end encounters non-violently
>First time he tries talking down a group of enemies he rolls something like 30 or more because that skill focus
>Fails on the grounds that he can't make them take any suicidal actions and that disobeying their boss would be suicide
>This happens in every single encounter with the same excuse being given each time
>Game was pure combat for it's duration

He also makes intimidate impossible, even in situations where you'd think we'd have fuck-high circumstance bonuses. (ie, the several situations where we were attacked by 10+ bandits, take out most of the group without issue, then try to scare off the last two or three who can magically ignore +30 results to Intimidate)

Hey /tg/ I need your help with something. And this seems like the perfect thread.
>Me and friend a always like dnd he has all the books 5e
>I'm pretty knowledgeable about most things
> say if he really wants I will throw my all into dnd and DM
>Do so proceed to DM through thick, thin, and everything inbetween.
>Campaigns gain players as more people learn of me DMing
>People get added, removed, and etc
>Land with a core group 4 and friend a
>I've been getting angry as I notice friend a is dice fudging
>a lot, it is getting absurd people at the table are noticing it.
>Begin to notice, start making sure things don't go in his favor and start getting irritated by him
>confront him afterwards and tell him to cut it out, says he will
>He's angry about getting the shit end of the stick, which is true I was giving him the shit end. I tell him it was because of dice fudging and his prevelance to greyhawk and murderhobo everything
>Friend A, gets a job, only shows up half the time late the other half
>Everyone's getting sick of his antics.
>Last session he shows up, late, tell him in an asshole manner that he lost his latest level because he has only been present half the time.
>he leaves everyone agrees that I was an asshat, but also that they were getting real sick of his shit.
>Most people don't want him back, and if he does come back he needs to rework a lot of shit, he sends text that he doesn't want to play anymore.

I'm at a lose on what to do. On one hand this is one of my best friends, he loves DnD and has gave me all his books for DMing purposes and can be a great role player at times. The other hand he murder hobos a lot, blatantly cheats, shows up late or not at all, and aggravates people in the group to the point where one almost quit. What should I do /tg/? I am still relatively new to DMing and inexperienced any help would be appreciated. I am trying to not be that DM.

>>52695458
>I am trying to not be that DM.
Try harder.

>start making sure things don't go in his favor
>I was giving him the shit end.
This is pure shit behavior.

>I tell him it was because of ...
No matter what he does, being a shit DM is not the answer.

>murderhobo everything
Murderhobos can be mildly annoying to full on disruptive, so it's hard for me to gauge this offence.

>his prevelance to greyhawk
Why is his taste a reason for you to be shit?
This makes you a dick, really.

>dice fudging
Answer me this: Why does this make you so angry?
Cheating in a competition is horrible offence.
Why is his cheating in a rpg making you so angry?
I'm not defending it, I'm asking you to examine your emotional response.

>dice fudging is getting absurd & people at the table are noticing it.
This is being disrespectful to everyone playing the game and needs to stop.

>He's angry about getting the shit end of the stick
I can't blame him.

>gets a job, only shows up half the time late the other half
Real life can negatively impact gaming, but if he says he will arrive and arrive on time and then doesn't, then he is flaking and he needs to commit.

>tell him in an asshole manner that he lost his latest level because he has only been present half the time.
Unless this was an established policy beforehand, you are again applying IC penalties for OOC issues.

NEVER APPLY IC/OOC PENALTIES FOR OOC/IC ISSUES.
This is beginner level shit.

>I was an asshat, but also that they were getting real sick of his shit.
He was a shit, but that never justifies you being an asshat.

>if he does come back he needs to rework a lot of shit
If he changes his mind and wants to try it again, talk to him like a real, mature adult about all the shit. Tell him the shit he did that was unacceptable. Apologize for the shit you did that was unacceptable. Then, don't let him be shit again, say something immediately.
And try to never be an asshat again.

>>52691624
>sandbox
>GM provides plots for you to get involved in
>party decides to ignore plots in favor of the Great Tavern Basement Caper of robbing an unguarded basement in a bar
>feeling very disenchanted.
I am seriously wondering what exciting adventures you were hoping to find in those enchanting crates in the basement.
No, seriously, I want you to explain this.

I get it.
He said "sandbox" and then was more "soft railroad" than you like (whatever that means)
Honestly, he doesn't sound that great or fantastic because he was pushing a specific approach (stealth) in a sandbox game.
But you sound like a miserable twat.

File: Screenshot (51).png (193KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 1920x1080px

>Be me
>Be one of the leaders for a persistant pathfinder rpg world
>Hate myself
>Player starts a huge fight with another GM
>Moderate said fight
>Begin to read thread
>Die of laughter, becomes a living meme among my friends
>Pic related, more to come

File: asshole.png (102KB, 1138x729px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 1138x729px

cont.

>Player in Image creates weird kobold sex dungeon
>Captures Kobolds in horribly assholish DMs session
>Wants to RP an interrogation
> Pic related is how it goes
>Sperg incoming.

File: player response.png (103KB, 1134x632px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 1134x632px

>Be me
>Don't give a shit whos named in this
>to lazy to cut properly
>Pic Related is players response
>Kek keeps coming

>>52695720
Thank you this helps a lot. However cherry picking some points and twisting them followed by responding with your shit is shit criticism. I agree at some points I was very well being an asshat, but not in all the scenarios where he was getting the shit end. When all players are taking massive damage and dropping, and I come to figure out you've been rewriting your HP to stay alive that is bad gaming. When everyone is getting terrible rolls for the night and you haven't rolled anything below a 15 that is bad gaming. Pulling metagaming stuff out of your adventurous bag which you just wrote in 5 minutes ago is again bad gaming. My shit end was having him start failing rolls after the 20th time he succeeded for the night on a roll that was his dump stat. I just felt it wasn't fair to other players. Also murderhoboing/greyhawking is acceptable at times. Not in the middle of an ancient temple, with it's guardian still there who is trying to talk to you. But as of right now I'm being a asshat thanks for the tips I'll try to be less of an asshat.

File: trapper rangers.png (49KB, 1138x294px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 1138x294px

>Laughing ass off at this point
>Gets better
>Trap Maker Kobolds spotted
>Trap Maker Kobold is a shit spec, literally only used in this case to fuck with player out of no where
>get all of this in text
>Pic related is DMs next response
>Trapper Rangers
>Trapper Rangers
>Trapper Rangers

File: part 1.png (111KB, 1134x742px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 1134x742px

>Player beings extremely thought out multipart response telling everyone how much a cunt dm is
>can't stop laughing at this point
>Trapper Ranger

File: part 2.png (129KB, 1146x852px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 1146x852px

>Part 2 of player response
> My sides can't take this anymore
> Final part next.

File: final.png (108KB, 1140x851px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 1140x851px

>Closing argument of the player and GM
>Player drops the fucking mike, GM castles up and trys to claim hes the GM blah blah
>I rule in favor of the player because hes right and the GM is a massive cunt
>Trapper Ranger

>>52696061
No problem. Sorry if I seemed like I was cherry picking, I just find it useful to break things down that way.

>murderhoboing/greyhawking
I was aware of the concept, but not the term "greyhawking" before.
That makes much more sense.
You are not a dick for hating that at all.

>>52690643
Maybe you'll never do anything original but speak for yourself.
If you're going to rip something off at least have it not be a facile comedy movie everyone has seen, have some taste.

>>52696153
The bottom of this one is a decent tl;dr
To me, the punchline is that he insists that his autistic sperging over RAW is to improve the GMs storytelling.

>>52693637
How is the GM That guy, again? If he was, he wouldn't have been flexible enough to say "Right, the world is now a better place because of you and everything starts to get better! Congratz!"

>>52696285
from what you posted the GM seems like a buffoon who let his desire to let his kobolds escape exceed his common sense but not a 'massive cunt'

Unless you're just not American and so 'cunt' isn't a particularly strong condemnation of the GM after all?

but the player sounds like an autistic rules-lawyer control freak even if they're 'right' about the kobolds not being able to escape

idk, you keep on saying 'GM is a massive cunt' and I'm not really seeing anything indicating malice, just mild incompetence and inexperience

>>52696153
>GM can't control whatever he wants

You're That Guy.

>>52689723
God damn that was a a fun thread

>>52695458
>5e
There's your problem.
>I've been getting angry as I notice friend a is dice fudging
First: you are using the term "fudging" wrong. It's cheating when a player does it, it's fudging when the GM does it. And since you were the GM, he was only cheating.

And players that cheat are cunts. I won't beat around the bush: he fucked up royally and it definitely warranted punishment. However, you could've handled it better by growing a pair and confronting him alone after the game, going like
>Hey man, I noticed that you are covering/picking up the dice before we can see the number. I would appreciate it if you could roll openly for everyone to see, just to make sure that we are all on the same page and everyone has a chance to shine and fail in equal manner.

If he proceeds to have a shitfit, confront him with the rest of the group about it, saying the same thing again.

If he doesn't get why he should change, then you have a very good reason to kick him out. But you have to man up, be assertive and confront him! Otherwise you are just a coward. And a cunt in equal measure to the player who you are trying to remove from the game.

If you and him really are friends, that's what you should have done, in my opinion.

File: 1491706885913.png (534KB, 654x618px) Image search: [Google]

534KB, 654x618px

>>52689723
W E W
E
W

That is some genuinely impressive autism. I was laughing and cringing at the same time.

>>52696421
I was just a reader who skimmed all but the last post, but I agree.

File: 1485918631282.gif (382KB, 400x263px) Image search: [Google]

382KB, 400x263px

>>52690398
>it's not normal to roll on the Random Bowel Movement Table after every rest

>>52682472
nope.

>>52691667
The person with the highest bonus in a situation takes the attempt. If the barb was the only person trying, sure, but otherwise all you can do is "help" and only if the DM feels it should apply to the circumstance.

>>52696417
At the beginning he specifically describes how he'd constantly get focussed by the dm and taken advantage of by the other, no doubt edgier players. That villain also sounds like it would've been unkillable if not for that one ability. You don't have to be an absolute autistic sociopath to be 'that guy'.

File: images(2).jpg (7KB, 235x214px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 235x214px

>Be DM
>Have group of campus friends who are relatively new to D&D
>One player is stubborn. He plays a lawful good fighter who, despite having no charisma bonuses or proficiencies, tries to be a diplomat
>I try to tell him that he has party members better suited to negotiation
>He insists anyway

>Be player (I alternate DMing with a friend)
>LG fighter is a neutral good drow ranger in friend's campaign (yes, he knows of Drizzt)
>Only wants to battle, even when it's inconvenient to the party
>We stop him from trying to do shit like killing Hades' guard dog (our rationale is that we're on Hades' property and some of us are cursed by gods already, so it's best not to anger the god of death)
>Also tries to steal Persephone's pearls while she sleeps
>Gets angry at our intervention in his schemes to fucking kill us
>Apparently we're the bad guys

>>52681241
>put a genie in your campaign
>get mad when players start thinking how they could use the genie

See, this is the type of shit I'd use to motivate my players, railroad them without them realizing they're being railroaded.

>"You hear rumors of a genie operating in the deserts of Madeupshitopia, hey by the way don't you have all the necessary shit to trap a genie? Just throwing that out there."

>>52697117
point taken

File: man realizes he's in fallout 4.png (439KB, 331x560px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 331x560px

>DM keeps getting mad at my ineffective but ultimately good-hearted fighter character for not being optimized
>On days when he plays instead of DMs (he alternates DMing with our friend) his character constantly browbeats mine for his race in another campaign
>Gets mad at me for trying to kill a servant of the evil death guy
>Gets mad at me for trying to take pearls so the party can afford to eat something other than sleep for dinner
>Keeps trying to interrupt me killing his evil character after he stops me from killing a servant of Death

How do I deal with a That Guy, /tg/?

>>52697463
I have a question: if the guy is doing stupid shit like that, did your characters take him to the side and explain why and how it's really stupid for him to do those things?

And preferrably punched the stupid out of him?

>>52697463
>killing Hades' guard dog
Alright, maybe preposterous but-
>Also tries to steal Persephone's pearls while she sleeps
Oh wow. That's complete insanity. Kill him to appease Persephone lest she completely screw you over.

>>52697463
>>52697501
Nice.

>>52672900
She was likely American, we have military bases in almost every European country anon

>>52692216
Of course i did. Pan-pacific became pan-sectorial, and UN became Administratium.

>>52692208
Dude why do you still play? You've got at least THREE That Guys, one of them is the GM, and he enables the other two.

They don't like you and they consider your character an obstacle to their little That Guy Quest circlejerk. You can only survive so far. Do you expect to derail the campaign and get one or more of them to ragequit like they do in the greentexts? This shit doesn't happen.

So far the GM has played by the rules and let you rely on luck and wit because he doesn't want to lose all dignity, but that'll stop soon. He'll eventually just fiat your cleric into becoming a background prop to the two That Guys.

Just identify the decent players among the rest of the group, exchange contact information, and pack up. It's not worth it. Trust me.

>>52679150
It's not a system to min/max in! FFFFFFUUUUUU-

>>52697501
Stupid as fuck.

>>52695458
You've definitely made mistakes. You shouldn't punish a player in-game for bad out-of-game behavior, and you shouldn't give XP penalties to missing players, those are shitty and unfair.

So first, I think you should apologize about what you did.
>Hey Friend A, I know that the way I treated you in our recent sessions was unfair and inappropriate.
>It was wrong of me to give you terrible odds. It was also wrong of me to make you miss on XP because you were busy.
>I understand that it made you feel like you were being unjustly picked on, and that it made you want to stop playing.
>I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Second, ask your group whether they're ok with Friend A returning if he's no longer cheating, but still missing sessions now and then. Then talk to him again and bring up the schedule problem.

>I still want to play with you, and so does the group. After all, you're my friend and I like your RP style.
>But before we can play again we need to deal with some problems. Like the fact you've been busy because of your job.

Option I: The group is okay.
Here's a possible solution
>Here's an idea: If you miss a session, your won't be able to influence the plot, or get major loot.
>However, you'll level up with the group, and nothing bad will happen to your character.
>Then I'll text you to let you know what happened.

Option II: the group isn't okay.
>I know it's not your fault, but it's been difficult for me and the group to deal with you missing or showing up late to sessions. It'd be great if you could do something about this.
>I understand if you can't, but if you keep missing sessions, maybe it's better for you to just drop out of the campaign and come back when your schedule is lighter. It'll be less stressful for me and you both.

(cont.)

Would it be a 'That DM' move to have a bard NPC show up occasionally, and when he gives a performance role play it out by grabbing a guitar and singing a few lines of fantasy-sounding bard songs based somewhat on real ones the party doesn't know?

Eg a bluesy: "Look at those suns / sinking like a pair of ships.
Look at those su-uh-uns / sinking like a pair o' ships.
Ain't that just like my heart, elf / When you kiss my lips"

They would be used sparsely and could eventually be about party members.. but would taking thirty seconds out of everyone's time to do that add to the immersion or just be masturbatory indulgence?

>>52699404
As long as you dont force it down the players throat, it would be cool. I personally would never do anything the like if my players didnt ask me or a npc bard for a performance. Try it once and see how they react

>>52699448
I guess adding a minor recurring bard DMPC just for the sake of it is really poor etiquette in itself.

>>52699404
>anyway, here's "kiss my lips"

>>52699352
(cont.)
Now if Friend A is going to be playing again, you need to bring up the other issues.

>So, if you want to play again, I'll also ask you to tone down the unwarranted murder, assault, and arson.
>It's not bad in itself, and some groups enjoy it, but it's not fun for me to GM and it's not fun for the other players to deal with.
>You promised you'd stop cheating, so I trust you on that. If you need help restraining yourself I can always bring a dice tower, roll for you, or keep your character sheet.
>But if you really can't help but break your promise I'll have to kick you out.

>>52682612
ugh

>>52695458
>friend has work
>tell them if he ever gets time off work to show up that you're going to make the game objectively worse for him

You're a horrible friend and you deserve to be alone.

>>52699559
Maybe "If I Need Something to Kill" or "Stuck inside a dungeon with the kobold blues again" would have been better examples.
Either way the idea seems worse the more I look at it.

>>52699477
I disagree, it reinforces that there is a world, and just because you left a town behind doesn't mean the people in it are a memory.
Shit, I usually need to pay a fucking bard to sing stories about me.

>>52699404
It'd be okay if your players agree. Maybe he could approach them and ask whether they'd like to hear his songs? Then you can bust out the guitar without any guilt.

>>52688289
I love guinea pigs.

>>52690643
It's boring by RT standards. That's barebones crap you'd hear walking anywhere on a hive world.

My DM said that unless i stated that my former soldier wouldnt look after his weapons and armour unless i specifically said that he was during downtime

>>52681862
As an autist myself, I tend to get annoyed when people spend most of their time joking and not playing, but not as much so as when someone acts lolrandum IC. As a player, I'm a terror because I've been foreverGM too long to accept the loss of control that being a GM grants. As a GM, I'm surprisingly versatile and good at improv, despite autism, and in fact my BIGGEST pet peeve as a GM are players who can never seem to be creative or think outside the box. Including one party that refused to do anything they weren't led around by the nose to, and complained about railroading when I did just that.

>>52673694
I've had a player like this. Purebred asshole, can only think about his own amusement. The key isn't to kick him out, because he'll whine endlessly about how you're being unfair or not catering to him. The real key is to make him bitch out and leave. He's being a prick for laughs? Out-prick him for your own amusement. He plays a mage? His magic backfires and maims him on a regular basis. A martial? Under a gypsy curse so that next to everyone has heard some story about how he fucks goats or has some horrible disease and can't be allowed inside any towns, perhaps both. If he whines, mock him about being able to dish it out but not take it. Assholes only speak asshole, and as the GM you've aleays got the louder voice.

File: fhvbvc.jpg (140KB, 1804x1014px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 1804x1014px

>>52669775
okay i know it's usually the rule that if you have to ask if you're that guy then your that guy but I really want to know if this is the exception

>group of 3 players
>spend 6 months trying to help a dwarf free a genie
>save his life multipule times
>when we free the genie he makes us agree that we have to let him have the one wish
>we agree
>he wants to wish that he had the ablitiy to conjure absolutely anything
>genie refuses
>I suggest that he wishes he has a gauntlet that allows him to wish for anything
>genie says he can have this with a limit, he can only wish once a day
>we tell the dwarf that before we free the genie that he must agree to sell us items that we request at a deeply discounted rate
>he gets the gauntlet and instatly wishes for 400 pp
>ask him if he can summon a warhorse in plate barding with runes giving it the shield spell
>dwarf says he refuses to take requests and that he will sell us what ever he decides to make at a 10% discount
all right we're kill this bitch and taking his gauntlet right?
>the other two PC's say they don't want to do it
>threaten him to give us a better deal, he's wasted his spell today may if we can ever threaten him nows the time
>other players assure him that they won't let me hurt him
>leave with nothing more than his original agreed payment that we made when we were level 1 despite being level 7 at this point and the gold we agreed on at that point to do a mission that turned out to be infinatly harder and much longer than he said it would be.
>for some reason the other PC's are okay with this.

I feel like I wasted 6 months of my life.

>>52700268
Is the dwarf a NPC or a PC?

>>52700306
NPC but I'd say it doesn't matter either way.
if the PC is gonna be a piece of shit I'd kill him anyway. he can always reroll a character that isn't a faggot.

tell me why someone wouldn't kill him. people have killed for infinitely less

File: Who you gonna call.jpg (60KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 500x500px

>>52690398
>It's the Bristol Stool Chart

Fucking hell

>>52700268
Sounds like your GM just doesn't want you to have potentially overpowered shit every day without paying decent amounts of money.
Even if you kill the dwarf, then what? GM won't let you use the damn gauntlet. He'll come up with an excuse. Don't bother.

>>52700412
the funny thing is the other two players are massive murderhobos they kill anything that stands in there way of a mission and I always have to be the one to take a hostage.
once I took a hostage for information and they got board of the hostage stone walling us and killed him even though I said not to.

they have this weird idea that killing hundreds of henchmen for pretty much no reward is okay but kill one dwarf is some how evil.

>>52689723
Hahahahaha oh man this faggot
I remember being in the second thread as it began to dawn on everyone that it was the same sperglord from before, it was glorious.

>>52669775
>Never has money for food/snacks and just freeloads
>Is an asshole during a collaborative world building game
>Decides to show us all fuzzy pony torture porn out of nowhere
>Is LOLSORANDUM during play, annoying EVERYONE at the table
>Bogs the game down with pointless nonsense
>Is a creep around the female player of the group

So, I had to boot him, which really hurt his feelings. So much so that he felt the need to write pathetic personal attacks in social spaces, and then after we fight, wonders why we can't be friends.

Seriously, what a schmuck.

File: 1445722183259.jpg (68KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 700x700px

>me and a friend love board/tabletop games
>always swapping stories about the games we played
>talk endlessly about hobby stuff
>organise a time to go play some games with him
>get hyped about the games we're gonna play
>spend time prepping to go down and see him
>he always flakes out on me everytime

I don't even know why I'm suprised by this shit anymore, I just want to play some games with my buddy

>>52700589
>fuzzy pony torture porn
Oh, I know the type you're talking about, you have my sympathies.

>>52691624
I found that guy.

>>52699946
Same dude. Theyre cute and also tasty. Heres a that guy story to go along with it.
>playing with some buddies
>nothing to serious or out of the ordinary. Dm is very into immersion.
>dm is also very travelled
>just got back from panama with his wife.
>our current campaign is set in a jungle/tropic region. We walk into a tavern and see sticks with a chunk of meat on it roasting over the fire
>dm goes over to his oven, pulls out kebab looking things.
>look and smell good, tastes great, meat is well spiced and cooked and nearly melts in your mouth.
>session afterwards was pretty normal no sudden runs or anything.
>session finishes our warrior asks for the recipe.
>oh thats guinea pig. I had it in panama.
>everyones mildly weirded out.
Guinea pig is very good tasting. Dont know where the hell he got it from though.

>>52700514
Sound like you're playing with a whole group of idiots.

>>52673929
Sticking it in crazy is OK but don't form an emotional attachment to crazy
> a crazy grill would be the best sex you'll ever have

>>52696196
I've never heard of Greyhawking either. Is it being a dull and uninteresting character, like the setting?

>>52679717
Nat 20's are considered an automatic success in most systems, with some obvious exceptions, like persuading cthulu to leave the world alone.

>>52700714
>Have a friend who is obsessed with table top
>indulge him with some conversation because he is an old friend
>sometimes he will talk at me for hours and I'll will just nod my head with a comment here or there
>he keeps trying to get me in on his games, but I am not that interested
>he is a little bit of a spaz so I just say sure if I can find the time
>I usually find an excuse to go hitting the bars instead
>he is always fine with it, and just tries to find another time to schedule it even though I keep giving him subtle hint that I don't want to game

>>52683500
Anne Rice did it.

>>52690398
poor guy he probably put alot of work into that and had a bunch of other stuff planned

He just needs to advertise his autism clearer so he can get other autists like him to play

>>52702905
You're breaking that guy's heart, anon!

>>52690398
I don't believe this happened

I think I need some advice.
I joined a game run by a friend who has been gaming for decades, DM'ing as well, with another two friends of mine and a player that everyone but me knew, and her boyfriend. We all have a lot of experience with tabletops, and since this is Pathfinder, I was going to bring my A-game. I confess, I brought my A-game. I min-maxed. The thing is, I was rolling a fucking goblin Swashbuckler. I thought I would be giving ground to not be the center of attention this way, but here's the catch.
Nobody else in the party is even close to as strong as my character. The closest is a ranged 3rd party class half-ogre with a composite bow. We had a WITCH that felt inadequate and rerolled as a MAGUS and STILL is falling behind my character. The boyfriend can only be there every other week so plays a split personality healbot Aasimar Cleric. The girlfriend is a Goblin Vigilante, dual-wielding a WHIP and a PUNCHING DAGGER.
I walk into the first session expecting at least some kind of busted sorceror, but I feel like That Guy. I've got +15 (16-20x2) with 1d4+14 damage and nobody can come close. Since I play smart and am good enough at roleplaying, non-combat situations are almost as easy.
Frankly, I'm a little embarassed because next level I'm going to be even crazier. I'm working with the DM to figure out a way to kill of my character that would be satisfying and not look like I just retired him.
Did I fuck up, /tg/?

>>52669775
Okay, I got a story to tell:

>3.5e
>Party consists of human bard, dwarf cleric, elf druid, half orc barbarian and that guy
>that guy who plays a dragonborn crusader/barbarian/monk/cleric/fist of raziel
>his backstory consists of him being a monk at one time then getting bored of living there so he went out in the wilderness and became a barbarian but then found pelor.
>minmaxed to shit
>when we're playing he'll fuck around on his phone until it's his turn in combat
>when asked what he'll do in out-of-combat scenarios he usually replies "i just wait and see what everyone else is doing."
>dm asked at one point what his character's motivation is
>"im just doin what i do"
>gets salty as a motherfucker when something happens
example
>we're in a dungeon
>come across a secret chamber
>lone treasure chest at the end of the corridor
>we approach it carefully
>rogue gets ready to search for traps
>suddenly skellingtons attacking from behind
>party turns and starts fighting
>barbarian decides to just open the box instead
>it's a mimic, and it bites him as it's opener
>cue 20 minutes of bitching by the player saying how he should have been able to see it or react to it and trying to quote rules from the books and shit
>eventually just becomes a passive agressive cunt who just grunts "I attack" for the rest of the night
>salty fucker starts texting us after the game session asking if we can do something about the "trash DM who is just trying to kill everyone for his own amusement"
>dm finds out and tells him if he doesn't like it he can go somewhere else

next session
>that guy says he spent the downtime we had in town making some stuff with things he purchased around town
(cont)

>>52705252
>says he made a ten foot pole with a net on the end of it filled to the brim with flasks of alchemist fire
>claims it can hit for 20d6 fire damage
>DM calls him a fucking idiot and tells him he couldn't make that, he doesn't even have any crafting skills
>that guy proceeds to sperg out and start talking shit to the DM telling him that he's fucking awful
>he then starts telling us we should just kick him and he will DM
>we're in the DM's house by the way
>cleric tells him to calm down and just go if he's going to be so disruptive
>players agree
>that guy begins to whine and bitch that we never had his back and that we're just mad because we're terrible at the game because we dont even know how to optimize
>calls the DM shit for making bullshit encounters just because he is a combat monster (he had trouble hitting a ghost, he could only land half his hits)
>he complains that everything is too fucking railroady and it's like playing a novel, and complains that he can't roleplay because of it
>DM has given him PLENTY of times to do something other than just stand there looking like a drooling neanderthal
>that guy gets fed up, packs his shit and leaves
>that guy stole the DM's copy of Tome of Battle.
(cont)

>>52705274

well, that's good, glad its ov-
>next session, we're having fun without asshole around
>BANG BANG BANG
>that guy is pounding on the door
>he is demanding to be allowed to play
>says he has a NEW character because he knows the DM just killed him off
>says "and I brought characters that don't suck either for the rest of you!"
>gets surprised when he's told to fuck off
>that guy, in a fit of autistic rage, starts shrieking about how this shit is unfair and we're just picking on him because he's a furry
>spergs out for a good ten minutes or so before social awkwardness sets in for him from all the people looking out their windows at this dude flipping shit at 7PM in the suburbs
>after he leaves, DM realizes he should have just turned on the water for the sprinkler system on his lawn since he has an app for it
We're all hoping he comes back next session now just so we can do that.

Sidenote: This fucker also had the disgusting habit of shitting in the toilet and not flushing for some unknown reason. He was asked if he knew what the silver lever on the toilet was for and he said 'its to flush it' and we told him to fucking do it then. He never did.

I bet the asshole never washed his hands either.

>>52670035
Why do you people hang out with these fucking losers? Literally the only reason must be that you're all as bad, just play a different game and don't invite the cunt.

>>52678511
You don't know many women then. But still she probably wasn't great looking or he'd have been beating off too.

What is "PP" on the roll20 script's turn order chart?

>>52697510
We tell him to cut that shit out since it's going to harm us. He gets defensive, saying that we aren't letting him "play his character". He's already managed to piss off Ares (go figure since he wants to fight shit).

>>52697501
I wish that were his rationale. He plays the lawful good guy in my campaign and can play it well, he just likes to talk over the faces of the party. In my friend's game, all he wants to do is pick fights, even when it's been told to him that it's a bad idea and made apparent that there are better ways to solve conflicts. He wanted to fight everything in a forest of illusions when we were telling him that it was a waste of time. We were correct, but he sat around brooding because he wasn't being allowed to be a dumbass.

>>52699122

Every system is a system to min/max in.
Because there will always be That Guy.

>>52683398
>would use the one argument in favor of mutants and masterminds that makes me think people are so stupid

So what was the argument?

File: 1485146039530.jpg (14KB, 236x351px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 236x351px

A friend and I did something terrible years ago to another friend/starting GM.

>be relatively new to tabletop
>friend GM is really into Lovecraft
>got into tabletop in one of oldGM's crack trip D&D campaigns
>GM discovers CoC ands buys everything he needs to run a campaign
>oldGM is "training" GM
>ask us to play a training one shot
>tells us to be as annoying as we can, since the lesson is about asshole players
>all players are assholes to oldGM
>GM seems to be ok with it
>roll with it
>absolutely refuse to bite plot hooks
>tell him "it's what my character would do"
>oldGM says"think harder"
>gets visibly annoyed
>keeps throwing quick plot hooks
>has to go to the bathroom
>oldGM tells us it's ok to bite, but we're doing great
>his "lesson", so, I guess
>GM is back
>the little plot is actually interesting
>roll with it but as paranoid little cunts as possible
>eventually GM just stops and says he wants to quit
>feel really bad right after
>we tell him it was actually pretty neat
>oldGM lectures him on how he has to be strong and more strict with us and something something players something bad
>friend tells him he wants to start over and play seriously this time
>GM is broken and visibly sad
>goes home
>apologize afterwards
>stay good buddies but he never plays or runs anymore
>sells the books to oldGM for cheap

I've ever felt as bad as that night. Being a rookie is no excuse, if you feel something is wrong say it.

I have more stories of old GM.

>>52707932
I was going strong untill i got to
>sells the books to oldGM for cheap
That one really killed me. That is like the sign of utter defeat.
You abosute monster.
Share more

>>52705107
Ya fucked up a little bit, but as long as you do away with the character it should be fine, after all you know what you did wrong.

If I were you I'd just retire the char ASAP and apologize to the others, explaining that since you used to play with minmaxers you assumed the other players would be angry if you didn't minmax too.

File: hqdefault.jpg (14KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 480x360px

>>52695458
Your shitty writing made me read your post in these guys voices.

>>52708467
Your shit taste gave me cancer

>>52708017
Alrighty then, I already posted this one some time ago. My first campaign ever:
>D&D 3.5
>players: 4 friends playin druid, paladin, and noble fighter; oldGM's cousin (invited by oldGM) playing a wizard, and me playing a halfling rogue
>start in a tavern
>my rogue already knows a dwarf npc
>fuck around in general with no objective in particular
>suddenly all town gets invited to the count's castle for a party
>we all get seated in the same table with dwarf bro
>the count comes into the scene and charms us for no reason
>irrelevant anyways
>SUDDENLY DWARF JUMPS ONTO THE GODDAM TABLE AND STARTS FIGHTING THE COUNT
>ALSO A WEREWOLF THING APPEARS
>3WAYBATTLEWTF
>nope the fuck out
>the walls are dark and somethings grabbing the guests
>doors are locked
>spend 30 minutes irl discussing what the fuck we're going to do
>wizard just casts open lock
>could have said so, but he's kind of a dick
>party loots black swords from dead guards
>get to the town plaza
>all rats are escaping town
>swords react near a statue
>druid hits it
>statue cuts off clean
>roll dex
>paladin fucks up
>druid's wolf saves him
>stop fucking around
>leave through a desert we didn't notice before
>nothing happens for a week in game
>get to some other town
>wizard stops coming
>try to report all the bullshit
>the guards are not!gyniu force
>get laughed at because the other town doesn't exist
>some fuzzy stuff happens
>some shit about a duelist and some bandits
>duelist put me in a hanging cage as bait for something Im never told what
>Im getting paid in gold and tobacco, and fed, this ain't so bad
>party is fucking around in the tavern
>SUDDENLY MORE FUCKING WEREWOLVES HOLY SHIT
>town goes on the defensive
>party fighting in the tavern
>duelist busy with one werewolf
>another one turns his attention to me
>masterfully lock pick the cage and climb the rope
>no way out
>plunge attack with dagger
>get wrecked anyways
>party barely manage it by GM's fiat
>we're heroes somehow
cont.

>>52708913
>realize DM is full of shit and is just making up stuff on the spot
>kind of like this story
>call him out on it
>SUDDENLY EVEN MORE WEREWOLVES
>but it gets worse
>DICKGIRL WEREWOLVES
>get triggered
>go shitpost on /tg/ about it
>mom makes tendies
>they smell great
>go downstairs to eat
>get in my booster seat
>she brings me my favorite dora plate
>HOLY FUCK WEREWOLVES
>throw feces everywhere
>mom is screaming
>wake up
>were on the plane still
>going to go see family in the UK
>mom is still screaming
>so is everyone else
>what time is it?
>its 9:02 AM on september 11th

File: 1473129492224.jpg (133KB, 846x570px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 846x570px

>>52708913
>wizard is back and brought a sorcerer friend
>both are assholes
>we all try to dig deeper into the werewolf crisis
>NPCs give jack shit information
>end up in a sewer somehow
>oldGM tries to pull something with a doppelganger
>fails miserably
>explore the sewers for no reason
>suddenly gnolls
>also a friend of oldGM joins in
>as a villain
>as a psycho assassin
>fight him and escapes
>casters stop coming to sessions again
>find their bodies half eaten by gnolls
>a black portal opens up and sucks us in
>it's the same sewer(I think)
>we meet ourselves with better gear
>fight something I don't even remember what
>well us from that place do, we're completely useless
>campaign just fades away

All of his campaigns are this nonsensical. We didn't know better
>>52709116
I wish it had been just werewolves.

>>52705252
>mfw I made a similar pc
>dragonborn saint paladin/crusader/unarmed swordsage/marshal/fist of raziel
>did all the talking
>was massive group support, throwing +7 buffs to shitton of checks every turn just for existing
Get some bros on your side.

>>52680636
Fuck. I know that hedge. Rise of the Dragon Queen for D&D 5e, right?

Yeah, that hedge solution is 100% horseshit.

File: hrld.png (1MB, 1065x902px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1065x902px

>playing pathfinder for the first time
>make myself a character fit for the character i want to make, a magus with high charisma and okay-ish combat capabilities, with feats, stats and equipment adjusted to reflects his inexperience and personality
>find out GM is a huge powergamer
>the other players are huge powergamers too so they're highly optimized
>my character gets fucked up in the first two sessions
>he's pretty much irrelevant in the face of the rest of the party
>GM links me to a magus guide to fix my character
>agree to follow it
>character goes from a character whose stats reflect him as a character to a cookie cutter 20 dex monster magus statblock
>charisma becomes the dumpstat at 10

i feel dirty
the campaign is pretty interesting so i'm not gonna leave but having to butcher the character i had in my head n order to stay relevant for the campaign hurt me on a very deep level
it hurts specially bad since the last game i played was a 5e campaign where the character was okay out of the box and i could focus on the roleplaying aspect rather than how many modifiers i could stack

>>52709299
Anon, if you have to make a "choice" between being able to functionally contribute to the party's survival and "roleplay", you have set yourself up to make a bad choice.
There is a middle ground, you chose to hop from one side of the line to the other. To wit, someone who has attained enough skill to mark themselves as a class is NOT inexperienced.

>>52709299
I feel your pain brother.
Honestly, that the gm or anyone for that matter didnt inform about the powergaming from the start is just shitty of em imo.
Personally i feel like powergaming screams ''I want to WIN'' not i want to play.
But also the slaughter of your own character must have been heavy. Rip char concept.

>>52709361
There's a huge difference between being functional and choosing things specifically to have 20 dexterity at level 4 and become a martial-magic death machine. My character wasn't completely useless, it just wasn't at the maximum potential it could attain, which i'm generally not very interested in. I love to mix mechanic and roleplay in a way that both reflect eachother, but now I'm just using a generic superpowered magus with like 3k gp worth of equipment when it directly contradicts my character's origin and journey.

>>52705314
Is his name Ken?

>>52669775
A bit That Guy, but not too bad. Mostly just doesn't read any of the campaign material and gets blown away by things he should already know. And before anyone starts, the campaign material was only about a page long and just had a bullet list of common knowledge about the setting their characters would know. Anyways.

>Be DM, group adventuring for a while, around level..7 I believe at this point.
>Coming back from some crypt that was supposed to have information on an undead plague sweeping the land.
>Guy decides he wants to charter a boat out of nowhere and go somewhere completely different because...?
>Take it that he's unhappy with the current campaign, ask what sort of adventure he's looking to go on, in my head taking note to possibly adjust my campaign accordingly.
>"I don't know, just go to some taverns I guess and see what plot hooks you throw at us."
>Gets annoyed when no one else is swayed and is fine with the current campaign.
>"Well fine, I'm going across the ocean without you guys then.
>We stare at him for a few seconds before I ask if he read the campaign notes.
>He says yes, then insists on finding a captain who will take him to another continent.
>The cleric player facepalms, I just decide to run with it.
>Guy gets genuinely surprised when the response to his search for a boat to another continent just has people laughing in his face, asking if he's drunk, then telling him to find some other sucker.

Cont.

File: That DM and His Hedge.png (158KB, 1676x999px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 1676x999px

>>52679585
>>52681234
>>52681241
Capped for posterity

>>52700412
At that point he can leave, because why the fuck play with somebody who has to force shit down your throat even though it took the campaign months to get there.
Time to reap the rewards and if the GM doesn't want you to he shouldn't have tailored his fucking games around this shit for half a year.

>>52710857
>Finally finds some down on his luck fisher and his shitty boat. Fisherman laughs at him, but offers to sell him the boat since he needs the money anyways.
>After some shitty negotiation rolls, Guy trades away most of his back-up magic items and a good chunk of his cash for the boat. It's not good, but it's seaworthy.
>Guy sails off into the distance, with the Fisherman practically giddy.
>Guy throws a fit when I ask him to roll a new character, insisting he wants to play the current one.
>Tell him that no, I am not running two campaigns just because he wants to run off by himself.
>As he starts blaming the rest of the party for not going with him(because they were fine with the game as-is), I also remind him that he's a stupid fuck for not reading the setting notes.
>After he insists he did, I remind him that if he did, he would know there are no other continents. All the ships in-setting are just used to go around large chunks of land taken by the undead plague.
>When he finally stops raging about why I didn't stop him, he sulks a bit and rolls a new character.
>He decides to play the Fisherman he gave his magic items to, and made him some Charisma duelist/gish thing after he "swindled" his old PC.

He's a bit more careful about reading setting notes from now on.

>>52682251
I got the impression it wasn't "nat 20, critical success!" but rather "nat 20, if I can't succeed on this it's impossible for me to do so."

>>52707703
"eh"

what makes mutants and masterminds better?
"eh"
why should i drop everything going on in this game and change everything to another system?
"eh"
why dont you like this system?
"eh"

this guy is the reason i ask people if they are autistic first

>>52710871
Might want to turn of your magic addon. That shit's annoying.

>>52669775
I see nothing wrong here, except a player who feels entitled

>>52702378
You take, kill, and pillage everything that is not nailed down. Followed by take the stuff that is not nailed down. Followed by take the stuff that is nailed down leaving a trail of destruction in your wake.

>>52678689

> 4 sessions?

For what purpose?

Donno if this is really counted but.


>Pathfinder. Have summoner, non unchained, Under lvl 6.
>Hardly strongest member of the party despite having pounce quad, but dipped heavily into every knowledge possible and grabbed roleplay skills. Summoner just wants to write epic fantasy books, took scribe and calligraphy as well.
>Eidolon has scent and survival because I thought it was dope as fuck.
>Party members steal chest from warehouse, despite only being ordered by city mayor to look into it.
>Open chest. Chest leads to demi-plane filled with meat, as far as the eye can see in any direction..
>The fuck.png
>Called away on urgent mission to save other party member. Four hours later, come back, chest is gone.
>Buff Eid with lesser evolution, more survival. Roll to track, roll high enough to notice prints on solid stone.
>"You see tracks. Smell nothing. Following them, they disappear instantly when you go outside"
>Okay. Teleport jutsu activated, obviously. Cant even track the smell of infinite meat.
>Everyone does shit, at some point we're told to roll a single perception.
>Think nothing of it, all characters split. Most spend the night in the hospital, Summoner goes back to guild hall. All sleep
>Wake up on a ship, in a prison. Arms and legs bound. Rest of party is there.
>Right. Kidnapped during sleep. Ask the fuck we didn't get perception for.
>"You rolled it during the day. You all failed".
>Ignore the fact summoner was in a locked up guild house in the middle of a busy city, or being napped from the hospital etc. But okay.


Cont 1/3

>>52711750

>Summoner is freaking out internally, roll a will save to not have her just succumb to fear. Hates the ocean. Hates being bound. Hates not knowing where the fuck she is. All pretty reasonable things imo.
>Use spell like ability to summon fire elementals, burn ropes off party. Accidently set one on fire, woops. Minor damage.
>A guard comes down. Beautiful female, nothing else.
>Indignant because she's acting high and mighty. "You all stole our chest. We're going to law you when we get back to our mainland. How dare you all be so low to steal. "
>Oh btw you've all been out at sea for a while. About three days.
>wut.
>Two party members suck up to the guard. Are released to talk with ship captain. Rest of us are down here.
>Other party members slowly escape their cages until it's just summoner.
>Summon Eidolon. We're going to beat our way the fuck out of this cage.
>Do so. Suddenly, angry guard drops down from hatch and demands summoner to "Get worthless hide back into cell."
>Fucking what. "Last guard said she was going by the law. The hell is lawful about kidnapping citizens during the night when they were acting under orders?"
>"Get in the fucking cell."
>At this point, Summoner is upset.
>Kidnapped during her sleep, thrown in a cell, trussed like a pig. Because a chest was stolen and she was in its vicinity for all of ten minutes.
>"Make me." Eidolon moves to stand just in front of summoner.
>Guard does breath attack.
>What.


Cont 2/3

>>52711770

>Instantly go into unconsciousness. Would have died from massive damage (100% hp to a step from death in the negatives.) Dm says no to the death.
>"Well your Eidolon should disappear now."
>Actually took Resilient Eidolon because I knew this'd happen eventually.
>Roll pounce. Reasonably high rolls.
>"They all miss. Guard turns around, grabs your Eidolon and tears it into tiny chunks."
>"Guard is advancing on you. Moves to coup de grace. Is only stopped by other guard."

Fast forward.

>Guard that breath attacked me was a silver dragon.
>In fact, everyone on the ship not our party? Dragons.
>Summoner spends rest of the journey forcibly unconscious because "Too dangerous".
>Rest of the party has an orgy with the dragons that lasts a whole day, all of them have a Dragon 'pairing'. Dragon island? The chest is literally just because they like human cooking.

TL;DR

>Got one rounded by a polymorphed silver dragon because character felt unlawfully detained and dragon was "Too young to know right from wrong, as he was only a teenager."
>Party didn't care and proceeded to have a orgy with a boat full of polymorphed dragons while character was kept perpetually unconscious because "Your summoning is potentially dangerous to the crew".
>Entire thing happened because we stole a chest full of meat a bunch of dragons collect once a year because they like human cooking.
Same DM said I couldn't do a knowledge check without spending a round of actions on it because "No one should be able to instantly know stuff about a monster just by looking at it".

>It was a giant sea serpent.

Because how could someone know a giant sea serpent at first glance without studying it for six seconds?
3/3

>>52673140
>lol neurologically ruin a woman for life and make her incapable of connecting emotionally with anyone ever again lol it's just sex bro it feels good so do it what are consequences
You'll be second against the wall when the day comes, you fucking piece of shit.

>>52679747
No.

The player is not interested. If a player has not fucking figured out 5E by three sessions, they do not care enough to be bothered with. You know how shitty and bogged down 3-point-pathfinder could get with its bevy of bull shit, you could understandably take a new player quite a few sessions to figure out feats and stats and skill points and spells (D&D still suffers from to many bull-shit filler spells imo). Fifth Edition is by comparison to all others before it excepting 1st very very fucking simple learn and they're not devoting the minuscule effort to do that.

They are not interested. You should not entertain the idea that they will become interested, it will spoil it for yourself and others.

>>52687136
bumperinos for fungod obviously

>>52711975

She had 19 years to see that shit coming

>>52711975
are you a retard or just a r9k faggot?

>>52712060
>you're a retard for posting truth and matters of advice
>>>/autism/

>>52712185
he shouldn't have sex with an eager partner and then leave when it fizzles out because it will permanently ruin the woman...
oh I see, no you are correct. How could I have mistaken you for a fag?

>>52711975
What wall? What day? Second to whom?

>>52696468
No. The GM plays within the rules. To do otherwise does in fact breed discontent because the players then feel a sense of impermanence - that their actions are meaningless speed bumps just waiting for the DM to over rule their accomplishments with bull shit instead of game play.

You do not hand wave PC accomplishments like imprisoning enemies away. You disrupt the PC's planning with prepared enemies that break them out, that sort of thing. You lay a siege on their stronghold. You do not "And they pull off the impossible because I said so." It's bullshit when you are a player and someone pulls it on you, and its bull shit when you pull it on them.

My condolences to those perma DM's that never play and learn this, but it behooves you to explore other alternatives to play. You do not and will not learn some of the most valuable lessons on what constitutes a DM faux pas from the DM side of the table.

>>52712449
He's trying to be an internet tough guy. Don't regard it.

>>52709420
Sorry bro, if anyone's that guy here(I don't think they are), it's you. Powergaming isn't badwrongfun, it's just a way to play the game. If you don't like it, don't play with them. If you like it but you can't play your character concept, get a new concept. Being unwilling to change your character to match the group's playstyle is bad regardless of who the powergamer is.

>> Playing Lizardfolk Pally
>> DM says I'm infatuated with/distracted by this hot noblewoman
>> I'm immune to charm, DM
>> No, it's not magic. She's just good looking, amazonian, etc. etc.
>> I 100% Do Not Give A Shit
>> She's everyone's type, dude
>> I am an eight foot tall bipedal lizard who doesn't understand fear or love. She's a fucking mammal.
>> That doesn't mean anything.

I swear to god we're switching back to the normal guy once school's out.

So, we've recently started a Vampire campaign and my DM asked me to change my character.
I would be introduced in the second session anyway so i was ok with it, but wanted to know why.
He said that my current clan (Ravnos) is broken and that i would fuck with the game, he also said that since we're most likely going to PVP (everyone agreed on it, it's ok) i could use my powers to have a unfair advantage if i wanted to.
Is he being that GM /tg/? Should i try to argue agains't it? Or is he right?
I could totally play as a Gangrel or a Brujah, but i really liked Ravnos.
It's also my first Vampire campaign so i don't think i will be that useful even if Ravnos is indeed broken.

>> be sudden clone of character
>> act like an idiot
>> actually a spy for one of the enemy factions
>> climax of his arc ends with a huge sabotage to the party, where I take a STRONK as fuck warrior and master plan to turn him against the party.
>> nearly succeed, cause such a debacle the GM gives me boss status because I kept cleverly resisting attacks from the party.

Was I that guy?

>>52714349
GM's totally within their rights to veto character options.

>>52714394
Did it make the game more fun? Did it make for an interesting story? Would the other players agree with your answers to those questions? That should tell you if you were a cunt or not.

>>52713252
Tell him that your lizard is homosexual.

>>52673381
>>telling a guy off for adding a single wrong letter ('t' in the middle of 'is'), as well as omitting two other letters ('too' big x2)
FTFY