Magic Story Thread: Nutty Nubian Edition

>>52666988
>Chandra
>Nissa
stopped reading right there. If any kind anon can summarize what can be gleaned from the story, i would the thankful

>>52667016
so there were nubians
and they didn't realise at first
but their ancestors were of royal blood

>>52667016
Amonkhet talked to Nissa, said it had something stolen from its tombs
Nissa and Chandra met Hapatra, she's bad at jokes
Very few people on Amonkhet appear to be over 30 years old
Old sarcophagi imply there were eight gods
Nissa concludes Bolas turned up, killed everyone and added himself to Amonkhet's culture
Oketra is aware of a change but can't recall what happened
Gideon is doing the trials and has already completed Oketra's
Next week, Nissa and Chandra go to wise ol' Kefnet to ask about the before times

>>52667016
Oh, also Bolas comes home in two days. Look busy.

>>52667166
so this is were Nissa learns to use blue mana?

And once again, every character talks like they're in the 21st century (with Chandra talking like she was born in the 21st century).

Wonderful.

>>52667324
at very least, there were no shitty first-person pespectives

I liked it. Also, the fact that the gods had their memory wiped proves that they're legit good

THREE
H OTHER
R T GODS
E H O
E E D
_ R S

>>52667016
Man, Chandra really wants to get in Nissa's pants.

>>52667523
friendzonedagain.jpg

>>52666988
>Amonkhet is an old woman who was wounded by Bolas' dark magic
What would each plane look like anthropomorphized?
and inb4 >furfag, anthropomorphic means humanlike

>>52667597
something like the soul cards from Magic 2015?

So what kind of Macguffin are they going to get to beat Bolas? Ancient sarcophagus? A pharaoh's crook? Oketra's panties?

>>52667621
Yeah, but more like "embodiments".

>>52667621
Specifically Ravnica, Shandalar and Theros

>>52667623

>>52667484

>>52667623
Perhaps they steal his Gem of Becoming and try to destroy it in the place where it was forged

File: 1408929035622.jpg (10KB, 194x273px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 194x273px

>>52667484
>yfw they were the Eldrazi Titans

>Ajani "elected" not to go to Amonkhet because if he did then everyone would think he was Oketra's midget husband

>>52667623
Gideon is already looking up to that

>>52667664
>Yfw Tamiyo gets off on tales of Ajani's giantess fetish.

>>52667166
So in other words this is the egyptian episode from Futurama?

>Bolas presses his face into some hieroglyphics, becomes god-Pharoah
>hey Liliana, you know what's the worst part of the trials? They make you work real hard and then they kill you
>Gideon that's the only part of the trials

File: 27618910_.jpg (7KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 320x240px

>>52667684
>Bolas' statue just shouts "REMEMBER ME" as it shoots fire from it's mouth

>>52666988
>Amonkhet was a matriarchal society that lived in peace
>Bolas represents the patriarchy that reduces everything to value

>>52667706
>The giant bolas horns you see in the full art lands are just fuckhuge statues of bolas buried under the sand

>Bolas wiped the memory of the god
>there're 3 other gods
>gideon became a religious nut
>nissa has her tummy hurt
>jace needs his coffe
>chandra is autistic

>>52667802
>mfw the Gatewatch faces a Bolasbot during Hours of Devastation

>>52667821
>It's not Liliana's zombie

>>52667802
>>52667831
>Inside the statue is a Casino

>>52667623
None I think. The setup in today's story hint at a "find-out-what-bolas-did-to-the-plane-and-then-rally-the-rebels" kind of story. Kaladesh 2 Bolas Boogaloo actually.

And I doubt they'll actually defeat Bolas. It'll probably be more like;

>Bolas shows up
>Hours go down
>Gatewatch powered native rebellion go
>Bolas be like "Oh crap. Fan5stic stumbled upon and recked insidious plan nr. 365b. Oh well."
>"I'll make this look good and bugger of to the actually important projects. This was just a routine checkup anyways."

>>52667484
I want a mardu one.

>>52667659
Shit that's god-tier

>>52667597
Ravinca would be a mild age man with some gray hair,but very young and vibrant looking, think Younger Ral with a huge coat with a mix of all the guild colors.

Zendikar would be a thicc busty light tan skin Amazonian women.

Innistrad would be a 30 something handsome man with pale skin and tentacles coming out his left hand.

Kaladesh would look like Saheeli.

New Phyrexia would look like Atraxa.

Tarkir would look like an old dragon

>>52667847
>bolas coins in slot machines
>bolas as the king in poker

>>52667821
>nissa has her tummy hurt
At this point Nissa is the only one I care about, mostly because she isn't human. Why does her tummy hurt?

>>52667928

Because Amonkhet is a rotting corpse and she's the only one who can smell it.

>>52667912
>Bolas as every face card

>>52667928
She hasn't eaten her daily dose of leaves or whatever elves eat.

>>52667912
>Queen: Liliana
>Jack: Gideon
>Ace: Jace
>Jokers: Nissa and Chandra

>>52667949
>you can win a trip to Bolasland, a bolas theme park

>>52667912
>>52667960
King: Bolas
Queen: Liliana
Jack: Jace
Red Ace: Chandra
Black Ace: Nissa
Joker: Agani
This IS Bolas we're talking about.

>>52667166
No shit they wouldn't remember.
All Bolas has to do is touch them and they forget everything.

>>52667947
So is Bolas playing surgeon and trying to revive it, or is her just picking out little pieces here and there?

>>52667989
>bolas made the amonkethian slaves only to build the most amazing amusement park in the whole multiverse
>Bolas World

>>52668005
Bolas is the one who killed it.

>>52666988

>Story is called "The Writing on the Wall"
>A mystery is solved by looking at the literal writing on the wall

Brilliant WotC. Truly masterful subtlety.

File: mtg__chandra_x_nissa_by_sekaiichibannobaka-db257lc.jpg (95KB, 1191x670px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 1191x670px

>When you're trying to get your pussy ate but the hot elf piece with the huge joragas you've chosen is so autistic she struggles to even have friends

Being Chandra is suffering

>>52668017
>Bolas wants the planar bridge to connect every world
>Bolas Interplanar Bridgeport

>>52668005

More likely he's about to harvest its organs.

Theme-park level plebfag cultures that don't embrace real world mythology and pathetic SJW pandering make modern MtG lore just so fucking obnoxiously bad

And Jesus fucking Christ that story reads like deviantart fan fiction

Why do people turn to this when there is so much better storytelling and setting design to be found in the contemporary fantasy genre

>She polished off a second cup of fresh water. "Thank you for accompanying me this morning, Chandra."

>"Nowhere else I'd rather be." Chandra fiddled with the straps on her vambrace, her eyes darting in Nissa's direction. An involuntary smile flitted across her face—a blush, an inescapable dash of sentiment.

. . .

>The two sat in semi-silence, comfortable for one and fraught with unspoken words for the other. Nissa took a breath, allowing the churn of the fountain and the cool shade above to her soothe her nerves. Chandra kept her eyes focused on her buckle.

. . .

>Chandra shifted awkwardly. "So . . . friendship is about the limit of what you feel comfortable with right now?"

>Nissa blinked. Chandra worked very hard not to stare.

>"Yes," Nissa said, "I suppose so, given everything at hand."

>"Ah."


I thought Gideon was supposed to be the token gay?

>>52668084
>the Gods are the organs
DEEPEST
BEEPEST

>>52668101
Have you not been paying attention to any time Chandra and Nissa are on screen together for the past three years?

>>52667455
Proves how shitty gods are though, Bolas just shows up, wipes their minds and seemingly removes three, then fucks off.

>>52668067
>Bolas isn't evil
>he's just a hardcore capitalist

>>52668067
>Bolas Planarlines Inc.

>>52668138
To be fair, the God of Gods on Theros is pretty sure Bolas could do the same thing to them.

>>52668101
So do they just put open calls to tumblr for writers, or...?

Because this is fucking embarassing

>>52668141
I need a drawfag to draw bolas in a buisness suit sitting on a dragon-sized office chair behind a dragon-sized boss desk with a little tezzeret secretary with a normal sized desk

>>52668095
>fantasy should be one-to-one with real world mythology
I'm not going to pretend that MtG has the best worldbuilding ever, but a good fantasy world only takes inspiration from real-world mythology. You take the shape of it and some key concepts, and then use those as tools for making something new.

On that front, at least, Magic has the right approach. On the other hand, they can't get past the idea that humans should be arbitrarily more common and diverse than other anthropoids, nor do they know how to write interesting characters or stories.

>>52668101
>I thought Gideon was supposed to be the token gay?

Gideon wants Oketra to sit on his face. He wants to go invincible and give her the pounding of a life time. He wants to have his head squeezed between her thighs as he licks that divine cat pussy.

>>52668101
>Ywn have an autistic Elven gf

Why bother living?

>>52668188
And Tezz is that exhausted secretary that talks in monotone
>Hello welcome to Bolas Inc. how may I help you.
>>Yes, I'm here to talk to Mr. Bolas.
>I am sorry but Mr. Bolas is in an important meeting roght now.
>>But he's right there, he doesn't look busy
>Mr. Bolas is a very busy man.
>>He's just eating a dragon
>Mr. Bolas needs to concentrate on his lunch. Please come back in 9 centuries. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

>>52667903
You mean an older Ral, then. Ral's the same ageish as the others, he's just got Izzet Streaks in his hair.
Innistrad I think would look old and decrepit and be wearing a cloak such that all you see is its mouth and chin.
Tarkir looks like Ugin if Ugin hadn't done his whatever-he-did to become weird and glowy.
Otherwise, yes

>>52668141
>Bolas has his own zoo and aquarium full with creatures from every corner of the multiverse
>all the creatures have his horns
>Bolas Planar Zoo

>>52668188
>>52668245
>Several Employee of the month pictures on the wall behind him
>they're all Bolas.
>All except for one which is Frank in Accounting.

>>52668296
I feel like Innistrad would be a monster wearing a ball gown and a mask barely covering its face

>>52667903
Dominaria would be a hot widower. Mother of all planes, yo.

>>52668335
>"All except for one which is Frank in Accounting."
>Not Bolas with a fake moustache

File: C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_1481481617900.png (395KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

395KB, 600x600px

>>52667903
>Zendikar would be a thicc busty light tan skin Amazonian women

For the love of God, can a draw fag get on this. You can even put hedrons in her lil Bobbie pins.

>>52668369
>Frank in Accounting is a mana construct of Bolas but with a human-sized moustache and bowler hat

>>52668388
>The Bolas Corporation is a real thing, but all of its employees are constructs of Bolas wearing different kinds of costumes
>And Tezzeret

>>52668095

You do realise this is a fantasy setting, right?

No real sense in having real gods when you can make up your own.

Personally, Amonkhet does its best to reference actual egyptian mythology while feeling relatively unique

>>52668459

I could do without the entire "Firecrotch with ADHD wants to bump donuts with the Autistic Elf" thing, honestly.

>>52668459
Get MaRo's dick out of your mouth.

>>52668496
That just needs to be bumped down the line to the beach episode.

>>52667324
Well, what century are they in, dumbass? What real world century on earth SHOULD they be talking like? Because they sure as fuck aren't from any time period on fucking earth.

>>52668452
>Tezzeret is oblivious and actually thinks they're all different employees

>>52668586
>Tezz says that he's thinking about asking out Samantha down in Marketing
>Bolas just stares at him for a solid ten seconds before telling him to go for it.

File: By-Force.png (191KB, 265x370px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 265x370px

So, who's betting that Atlazan will be all about the Gatewatch looking for allies on other planes and paying a visit to Atlazan, only to be horrified when they arrive at the capital city (which they never try to explore beyond, of course) and find that it's a horrible dystopian culture full of ritual sacrifices and awful traditions that need to be eliminated by a revolution?

And of course, they find one ally planeswalker by the time they're doing overthrowing the local regime and they move on, leaving it behind in ruins.

>>52668534

>Chandra in a red bikini and orange sarong
>Nissa in a Japanese school girl one piece
>Liliana in a sling bikini, but stays on the beach under several umbrellas while she makes Jace go fetch her cold drinks and snacks
>Gideon in tight swim shorts ala Casino Royal
>Jace dressed like the dork he is in too large swim trunks with dragons on them and a t-shirt he refuses to take off.

>>52668682
>Jace not under the umbrellas face down because he almost got heat exhaustion after the second drink.

Is it just me or does the fact that after only a day the majority of the citizens of the city know and accept that some weirdos have come from beyond their borders and totally accept it seem weird to anyone else?

>>52668556
They shouldn't talk like vacuous tumblrina whose most interesting personality traits are their made up sexual identity and the last witty quip they sharpied on a protest sign to whore on social media for virtue points. But obviously that's the demo Wizards wants to court, though I couldn't imagine why, so that's what they're going to do.

Basically this entire IP is garbage anyway, I wouldn't waste my time defending it, bud.

>>52668556
I'm going to make a non-comedic sci-fi setting in which all of the aliens speak like valley girls.

What do you mean, why? Who are you to say that it's jarring? Who are you to say how aliens should speak, huh? You're going to accept my valley girl aliens in a completely serious setting and fucking like it.

>White planeswalkers go to a plane predominantly populated by People of Color who are all oppressed and can only gain freedom by the intervention super-powered White saviors
>this happens twice in a row

what did MaRo mean by this

>>52668682
The next three sets will be

>Atlazan
>Cold Plane (Which has Phyrexians that job super hard)
>Theros 2: Erebos goes fucking nuclear

Followed by the Beach Episode, which is set in a Hawaiian themed plane. On top of those mentioned,

>Elspeth falls asleep while tanning
>Ajani is teaching kids how to surf
>Dack is around somewhere, nobody sees him until the very end
>Sorin is building sand castles, but PTSD flashbacks keep making him knock them down.

Who else would come along? Sarkhan showing off some fire dancing?

Reminder: You're a fucking moron if you think any of the following vocabulary clashes with the aesthetic of MtG. There's no reason why Chandra shouldn't be saying and thinking things like:
>Super gross
>Beefslab
>Gids
>hell no
>Come the hell on
>Jerk
>Easy, big fella. Not attacking mom.
>Sowwy
>The hell.
>punchybag
>blah blah blah
>FFFFFFFFF...
>super embarrassing
>super dog noses
>freaking idiot
>SHUT UP SHUT UP.
>WHAT IS COMING OUT OF MY FACE?
>super pi—uh, real angry,
>WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?
>...I think I'm gonna puke.
>made you feel weird
>SorryIblewupyourthingy
>Big Sis

>>52668723

Nah, he falls just outside of the shade holding the drink out for Liliana, and she just leaves him there to get sunburnt.

>>52668860
Some of those are okay. Not most, but some.

>>52668860
Gids is fine

>>52667928
>mostly because she isn't human
What an awful and arbitrary reason to care about a character, especially one as terrible as Nissa.

>>52668846

>Sarkhan and Narset on the most awkward date ever between a literal autist and a scalie
>Everybody else just thinks it's a total train wreck
>Narset and Sarkhan both had fun and want to do it again

>>52666988
BUT WHY ARE THEY GOING TO AMONKHET?

>>52668947
It's not just that she isn't Human, more just what her not being human means, what with her literally seeing the colors of the wind sometimes. Plus Elven Autism > Human Autism.

>>52668970
To fight their inner demons

>>52668970
THE BOLAS CORP. MUST BE STOPPED

>>52668860
>Beefslab
>Gids
>freaking idiot
>...I think I'm gonna puke.
>made you feel weird
>Big Sis
Are all fine because there's no reason to believe the college age girl wouldn't talk like a college age girl just because she's a magic college age girl.

>SHUT UP SHUT UP.
>WHAT IS COMING OUT OF MY FACE?
>WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?
Are also fine because they're monologues, the only exception is "Hell" because I don't think they've been to a plane with an actual place called hell yet.
I mean they've been to planes that qualify, but they haven't been referred to by that particular name.
I don't get why you expect or demand they speak in a formal tone or in ye olde english or whatever.

>>52669007
>>52669020

DONT THEY HAVE BETTER SHIT TO DO?

LIKE GETTING SOME LEGENDARY FUCKING EQUIPMENTS AND OTHER SHIT OP ITEMS.

>>52669042
Last time a Planeswalker tried to do that she ended up getting stabbed with said OP item.

>>52669024
Ah, I see. So college-aged girls (which Chandra actually isn't) should talk like that in any fictional setting, because that's how college-aged girls talk.

>>52668745
I'm less defending mtg in specific and more got triggered by the kind of thinking that leads to people going "historically speaking..." as if that fucking matters in something like dnd. Or that fantasy actually happens in a specific century from the real world.

>>52668812
This is an extreme example, but sure, go for it.

>>52669053
How old IS Chandra, anyway?

>>52669090
do planeswalkers die of old age?

>>52669107
Well Sorin was a vampire and Nahiri was locked in a magical prison, and they're probably the oldest ones out there aside from Dragons, so that's a good question.

>>52669053
Chandra is in her early twenties, that's college aged.

>Fictional setting
That's the point. They can talk however they damn well please because they're all from different fictional settings.

Hell, Chandra technically learned to talk on Industrial "aetherpunk" India. What is she supposed to talk like a really excited Symmetra or something?

Go on, tell me. How should they talk?

>>52668846
>Elspeth

Anon...

>>52669090

21, 22 I think? She was pretty young, 11 or 12 when her spark first ignited, and I think Dovin Baan mentioned that the entire Nalaar business took place 10 years ago.

I'm interested in these three missing Gods and how they might show up in the Lore and the game. I'm going to guess they'll be analogues to Osiris/Isis/Horus with Bolas taking the part of Set in this story.

>>52668682
>>52668846
>>52668965
The beach episode is such a cliché that it'll fit in this setting, given the amount of characters and their one-dimesional traits. Would love to have a wallpaper of it.

>>52669129
>NISSA, I DOTH FEEL A STIRRING IN MINE LOINS WHEN I GAZE UPON THINE COUNTENANCE, SHALT THOU ACCOMPANY ME TO A MORE SECLUDED PORTION OF THIS PLANE?
>SHALL THERE BE TREES THERE, CHANDRA?
>YES
>VERILY

>>52668860
We call that Whedon-speak, and it's a sign of incredibly bad writing if a character speaks like that constantly. When a character talks like that, it's to show that their vocabulary is severely limited for that situation. In Chandra's case, it makes her sound like an air-headed bimbo.

>>52669129
Not like a fucking college aged bimbo using 21st century slang. It's not engaging when the character speaks like someone from SoCal, it breaks the suspension of disbelief.

>>52668846
>Hawaiian themed plane

A Polynesian plane of endless oceans with dotted islands...

Yeah, I'd buy that.

>>52669129
ALL FANTASY IS 15TH CENTURY FRANCE AND THEY SHOULD SPEAK ACCORDINGLY REEEEEE

>>52669157
>Eldritch Moon comes and goes
>We will never get the B/W Powerpuff

>>52669189
Since you haven't given an example, I'm going to assume you want >>52669180 or something.

File: Laughing Mad.png (586KB, 590x435px) Image search: [Google]

586KB, 590x435px

>>52669180
>>SHALL THERE BE TREES THERE, CHANDRA?
>>YES
>>VERILY

>>52669107

They used to be immortal, practically gods, then the Mending happened about 60 years ago in universe and they became mortals again. Liliana's entire deal is that she was a younger old Walker who enjoyed the hell out of being eternally young, then the Mending happened and she started to age again, which is why she made a deal with Bolas who introduced her to 4 demons who gave her back her youth as part of some undefined deal with the devil thing, so now she's hunting down the demons and killing them to get out of her debt to them.

Bolas and Ugin are special cases because they appear to be immortal dragons naturally, and Sorin is a Vampire (while still being alive somehow). Nahiri was trapped in the Helvault, so even though the Mending happened somehow she wasn't affected by it until the Helvault was broken so she has started aging again.

>>52669195
>Big elemental emphasis on natural disasters like Volcanoes and Hurricanes
>Different tribes focusing on different aspects
>White mana is beach-goers
>Red all live around the volcanoes, ritual sacrifices and such
>Blue all live on artificial islands of boats bound together
>Green all about jungle creatures
>Black lives around volcano bases, all about obsidian and ash

>>52666988
Of course, niggers are the only pocs that matter, everyone else may as well not exist.
Aztec plane will somehow be all niggers too. Same way greece and south-east asia got them shoved forcefully into the "lore".

>>52669211
It's true, they could never bring them back. However, the whole plane is about death and the afterlife...and it would make sense to see more Gods pop up in the next set.

>>52668101
I just want to go back to Dominaria already.

>>52669218
>jumping to conclusions
>thinking all fantasy is somehow Shakespearean
Or how about, since Chandra grew up around artificers, she would actually talk like the

Fuck it. You're just shitposting and being facetious. KYS.

File: fghjfgj.jpg (4KB, 229x220px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 229x220px

>>52668846
>">Sorin is building sand castles, but PTSD flashbacks keep making him knock them down."

>Sorin makes a cute sandcastle and take him all morning to do it
>Nahiri makes a better and bigger one with little vampires sticking out with only a finger snap beneath Sorin's castle
>Sorin face when

>>52669290
I sort of am, but really, what should she talk like?
Artificers? She had no talent for that and left when she was 6.
Monks? that was the part of Regatha that she couldn't even fake.
Honestly she should talk however she wants, and she clearly talks styled after the first thing that comes to mind without taking the time to reword it.
Sounds pretty Chandra to me.

>>52669257
A set theme of voyaging and traveling, perhaps.

I'd always wanted an ocean-themed plane, but maybe islands-themed would suffice to keep us above the water instead of beneath it...though...

Whole plane is an ocean, suffused with blue mana. There is no land above the water.

Rolling, sandy Plains.
Thermal vents and smokers for Mountains.
Kelp and coral Forests.
Lifeless abyssal depths for Swamps.
Open ocean for Islands.

Mermaids fuckin' EVERYWHERE.

>>52669238
>SIR JACE, PERHAPS THOU COULD ACCOMPANY ME TO MINE ROOM, AND ASSIST ME IN SOME PRIVATE MATTERS
>NAY
...
>WHY DOTH LADY LILIANA PREFER HER SOLITUDE?

>>52669257
>Spells that work like traps but in the graveyard
>Ship vehicles
>Avatar cycle like in Shadowmoor for the various tribes but legendary for EDH purposes

>>52669286
What's even left there? It's been fucked sideways at this point.

>>52669386
Dominaria is always in various states of "fucked beyond sideways".

>>52668677
I'm Spartacus!

>>52669356
>Massive GUR creature that's a living island

I dig it.

>>52669290
>Or how about, since Chandra grew up around artificers, she would actually talk like the

Yes? Go on?

>>52669356

Seagrass prairies for White and brine lakes for Black

Also, Blue gets actual islands

>>52667782
I'm starting to get very tired of useless people claiming shit retroactivelly.
Egypt was literally THE patriarchy, and all relevant pharaos were light-skinned mediterraneans.

If you want nigger queens, make your own fantasy society that's what fucking fantasy is for.

>>52668846
Tibalt dressed as Robbie Rotten and tries to ruin the Gatewatch's luau party.

>>52669138
They pick her and Dack back up in Theros 2. Him stealing her from Erebos is what makes the plane get fucked up.

>>52669486
Huh, it's a good thing Amonkhet is a made up fantasy society and not Literally Egypt From the Real World.

>>52669509

Two suns worth of burn

>>52669486
>I don't know anything about ancien egypt: the post.

>>52669486
Greece didn't topple the ancient pharoahs until like 200 something BC, anon

>>52668380
Just hedrons hanging off of strings/ropes everywhere

>>52668162
underrated post

>>52669543
>>52669554

You know that the real black people in Egypt were Nubians, they only had one Dynasty that only lasted a little under a century, and that even then Nubians aren't the same Western Africans that became slaves that African American are descended from, right?

>>52668677
Atlazan will be a stargate city filled with niggers stealing other people's culture anysay. Just like Amonkhet and Kaladesh.

>>52668101
They actually went back and changed these lines to make things less blatantly autistic.

>>52669631
I don't think anyone really cares what the Egyptians looked like in terms of skin color here. Or how much homework you've done/graded. Or how long your academic dick is.

>>52669631
You know that ancient egypt was never a patriarchy, men and women were equal, they even had female pharaoh like Hatshepsut right?

>>52669705
It's time to go back to the containment board.

>>52668824
Jews have caused ever american intervention in third world countries including the CIA's involvement in Mexico's drug war that ended up biting them in the ass.

It's in their blood to use the guilty idiots that obey them against the poor brown people who don't.

File: 1415043056638.png (3KB, 196x171px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 196x171px

>>52669631
Look man, Egypt is a country in Africa. I'm sure a few black people wandered north into ancient Egypt from time to time.

A few black people in the Egyptian plane doesn't fucking bother me. If we see black people in Return to Kamigawa I will probably think it's dumb.

Pick another hill to die on man, this is not the plane you want to rant and rave about having black people

Why do /pol/tards have to cry about black people every single time a new block comes out?

>>52669802
they feel insecure with black people around because they're small and beta

>>52669195
>Polynesian plane
>Everyone is afroamericans
>What do you mean hawaians exist? Don't be racist!

>>52669735
>equal
Yes, Hatshepsut happened. But that doesn't mean that everyone was on board with it.

>Toward the end of the reign of Thutmose III and into the reign of his son, an attempt was made to remove Hatshepsut from certain historical and pharaonic records. This elimination was carried out in the most literal way possible. Her cartouches and images were chiselled off some stone walls, leaving very obvious Hatshepsut-shaped gaps in the artwork.
>At the Deir el-Bahari temple, Hatshepsut's numerous statues were torn down and in many cases, smashed or disfigured before being buried in a pit. At Karnak, there even was an attempt to wall up her obelisks.
The most common theory is that it was an attempt to erase her reign as pharaoh and relegate her solely to the role of regent, which was considered acceptable for a woman.

>>52668682
That would require him taking off his cloak.
He doesn't take off his cloak. Ever.
He's got the oversized dragon trunks and his heavyass cloak.

>>52669286
The planes aren't the problem, we could go back to Dominaria or Mercadia, and it would be all niggers, SoCal-tier dialogue and SJW themes.

>>52669777

Man, I'm just sick of it. It's super dumb. Africans aren't just one monolithic ethnic group, even among the ones who are black. African Americans, those descended from slaves anyways, are just as much mutts as most white Americans. But they were never descended from Ancient Egyptians, just like as somebody who is half Polish I'm not descended from English Royalty.

File: Rogal.jpg (545KB, 764x665px) Image search: [Google]

545KB, 764x665px

>>52669878
Enough. Get out. I'm past putting up with you. You're nothing but degenerate scum that drags down the rest of this site because you can't get it through your thick fucking skull that nobody likes you, nobody likes /pol/, and nobody wants to hear anything you have to say. Do the entire world a favor and wake the fuck up, or better yet, kill yourself before you somehow find a way to dilute the gene pool with your utter retardation.

Yes, I am mad.

>>52669904
Don't worry cletus, I'm sure that one day we will visit a plane where it's acceptable to fuck your own cousin.

>>52669932
They aren't being presented here as a monolithic ethnic group on Amonkhet. Of the legendary human creatures we've gotten, one is black.

>>52669881
Maybe but still, saying that ancient egypt was "THE patriarchy" clearly show a lack of knowledge on the subject.

>>52668846
>>52669195

http://forum.nogoblinsallowed.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=8736

>>52669948

Two suns worth of burn

>>52669932
>retard doesn't know that European royalty from various countries constantly intermarried
Please never post anything even remotely related to history again.

>>52668812
That's stupid.
Don't make all the aliens speak like valley girls.
Just the ones from the brutal conquering empire.

>>52669878
>I need to be angry about something, because my life has no meaning

>>52670023
>Royalty
>Related to normal people
Please never post anything. At all.

>>52670050
>retard doesn't know that there are tons of people with pauperized royalty in their lineage
I admire the persistence of showing off just how little you know.

>>52670086
Wait, do you mean that we wuz kang?

>>52670086
>I Don't Know What I'm Talking About: The Post
Just because you get fed shit doesn't mean you should try and tell us how much you love it.

>>52670095
I mean that you should go back to your containment board where nobody will question the moronic shit you say as long as you are in line with the rest of the echo chamber.

>>52670107
Great arguments shitlord.

File: BestPlaneswalker.jpg (523KB, 810x996px) Image search: [Google]

523KB, 810x996px

ELSPETH WILL BUMP THE THREAD!

File: Aku.gif (650KB, 500x324px) Image search: [Google]

650KB, 500x324px

>>52670149
There's nothing to argue with you. Regardless of sound logic, such as the fact that you're more likely to be related to Genghis fucking Khan than actual royalty due to the specific eugenics and politics behind European marriage, or that any 'pauperized royalty' would still account for an extremely low percentage of other classes.

Now shut the fuck up.

>>52670201
>that never happened
>extremely low percentage
Great reading comprehension shitlord, now shut the fuck up until you improve it.

>>52670238
>>that never happened
Where in this argument did that phrase come up?

>>52670253
Time to read up on the reply chain.

>>52669554
There was a literal sand sea of sun-scorching death between the egyptians and the subsaharan niggers WotC is filling Amonkhet with.

Fucking americans, just because you feel guilty of buying people who were selling themselves doesn't mean you can shove them in everyone's face. Eat your nigger dicks and leave other cultures be.

>>52669248
Innistradi vampirism is a curse rather than a state of undeath. Much like Garruk, Ob, and Arlinn, he's a cursed human.
Everything in the Helvault was in stasis, so that's why Nahiri didn't age when the Mending happened - if some random human was shoved in there 1000 years ago, they'd still be the same age when it broke, too.
Ob Nixilis is immortal now, too, after the Veil turned him into a demon.
And Karn is an exception to almost every single rule about planeswalkers

File: Garland.jpg (189KB, 961x1200px) Image search: [Google]

189KB, 961x1200px

>>52670272
I did as far as my replies go. And >>52669932'

>But they were never descended from Ancient Egyptians

Doesn't relate to our argument.

>>52669948

Get butt hurt about it if you want but he's right. Going back to older planes isn't going to change the fact that Wizards writers couldn't make a plane where the factions are legions of Burt Reynolds fighting the armies of Bruce Campbell for control of the sawn off shotgun mines cool.

>>52670311
Time to read the rest of the sentence, multiple times preferably. Then rest of the posts if you are still feeling confused.

>>52668739
They're told that the group is from another city on the plane. Most people don't know about planeswalkers.

To summarize the thread:

>New Magic Lore sucks
>We was Kangs!
>Racist Shitlord!
>Marxist Scum!
>Seriously guys fuck the Gatewatch

Anything I missed?

>>52669802
Because most countries in the world had nothing to do with your guilt-tripping black slavery shit and want to see fantasy without SJW reparations.
Why the fuck were there nogs in Innistrad, Tarkir and Kaladesh? Because you fucking faggots congratulate yourself about prepping the bull and don't even realize other races and cultures exist outside of your black dick sucking.

>>52670333
The past few planes have been really cool, sorry it doesn't appeal to the redneck demographic.

File: GBS.png (140KB, 354x378px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 354x378px

>>52670335
You're twisting the phrase
>just like as somebody who is half Polish I'm not descended from English Royalty.

into something its not, which just shows how many straws you're grasping at. We're done here.

>>52670358
No, it's because they want to sell mtg products to black people.

>>52669934
Fuck off back to tumblr.
Or pornhub, I bet you'll find all the cuck porn you love in there.

>>52670274
You mean the country of Sudan, the one filled with blacks?
Or how about the fact that the Greeks knew who the Ethiopians were? Or the fact that there are very obviously hieroglyphs of black people.

The idea that Egypt, who literally have black people living on the same Nile river as them, didn't have black people living there is laughable.

>>52670360
>carbon copy of real life ancient locations with a superhero squad of cardboard cutouts is cool

>>52670374
Okay, I'm glad that after carefully reading the posts a few times you've realized just how stupid you are.

>>52670378
Tell me, Anon, how long has it been since you got off the reddit train?

>>52670404
Just stop m8. You got your shit called out.

>>52670358
Why not? There were asians on Innistrad, whites on Tarkir, and whites in Kaladesh too. So what?

>>52670400
Egypt has been 90% semitic since forever. I barely see anyone who is actually middle eastern in this block.

>>52670131
You really should go back to tumblr, this thread isn't even a .5 in 4chan's average shitposting scale and you're already whining about /pol/ voices in your head.

>>52670419

Who was white (or black for that matter) on Tarkir. All I remember is various shades of Asian humans, then various non-humans.

>>52670417
>t-that's not what this means
>you got your shit called out
Always got to love when /pol/tards show off their reading comprehension.

>>52668846
>Domri trying (and failing) to Hit on Arlinn

Excellent. Yet another /pol/ fucking up /tg/ thread, because we don't see enough of those already.

There are a very small group of black Americans that claim they're descendants of ancient egyptians. I've only ever seen people claiming this on a really old Louis Theroux weird weekends episode years ago though, so it’s not exactly a common thing. /pol/ and others have blown it up into a big 'we wuz kangz' meme though. Besides the claims not being common, it’s a really dumb thing for /pol/tards to have such an obsession with, as there were fuckloads of powerful ancient African empires run by black people (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_empires).

Specifically relating to this magic release, Ancient Egypt saw loads of trade and other contact with the other African nations, so having groups of people with darker skin tones would hardly have been uncommon. Finally, in spite of its inspirations Amonkhet is a fantasy setting, and Wizards can do anything they want with it so you’re going to have to deal with it.

Fuck off back to /pol/, or preferably off 4chan entirely.

>>52668739
The younger ones haven't interacted directly. They may assume they are servants of the gods or emissaries from beyond or whatever. It is heavily implied that the viziers know something is up, but don't have the reference frame to suspect planeswalkers (or do, know bolas, and have alerted him)

>>52670439
If you don't like being called out, stick to your containment board.

>>52670376
Black people don't have money, what are they gonna buy cards in running shoes or something?
They're targeting fat white girls and the loser betas who want to fuck them.

>>52670446
There was one vaguely blink and you miss it black guy in the artwork of one Sultai sorcery or something hanging out with a demon.

>>52670439

>>52669631 was the point where the thread went from a .5 to about a 7, because before then it was at least decent shitposting. Idiots started throwing shit and it went from being Magic related to being a full flung /pol/ argument.

Just look at >>52670508.

>>52670508
We are starting to approach the levels of stupidity where I'm not even mad at all the /pol/ shitposting because the sheer retardation is so amusing.

>>52670477
>There are a very small group of black Americans that claim they're descendants of ancient egyptians.
I go to a school with a very large population of black women. During black history month, half of them come to school wear egyptian themed attire. It's not exactly something that's just exclusive to nation of islam stooges.

>as there were fuckloads of powerful ancient African empires run by black people
Yeah the mali and songhai were cool. Which is why black americans should celebrate them instead of trying to steal the culture and history of other people.

>>52670201
we wuz khans an sheet

>>52670360

Not the planes mate, I mean the stories. Though if I'm being really real, the books for magic or side stories have never really been well realized. They still weren't this bad.

>>52670425
Same as there's barely no actual indians in india plane, or how most Sultai are either dead, snakes, chinese-americans or niggers because apparently nobody knows how a southwestern asian looks.

>>52670598
>actually caring about the supplementary story in a cardgame
lmao

>>52670477
>Finally, in spite of its inspirations Amonkhet is a fantasy setting, and Wizards can do anything they want with it so you’re going to have to deal with it.

Not to answer you back or anything, but I've always found "It's a fantasy setting!" to be a particularly flexible excuse for everything you want to justify.

Women in Chainmail Bikinis and men in furry loin cloths? Fantasy setting.
Perfectly Egalitarian Society in a otherwise medieval civilization? Fantasy setting!
Tribe of 8ft tall Warrior Women who kidnap men to reproduce? Fantasy Setting!

Etc etc. Just an excuse to justify things people like in their setting without actually having to think about it.

>>52670591
Isn't there actually something like a 1 in 7 chance that you're related to Genghis Khan, just due to the sheer amount of children his family put out?

>>52668101
Do you mean Jace. He is the one lusting over Gideon ... charisma.

>>52669024
>>52668860
>>52669053
>>52669089
>>52669129
>>52669180
And the others I'm too lazy to tag.
There are weird constants between the planes. The word hell appears in several sets, and a lot of foods exist across the multiverse as well. The dominant language is almost always the same, different species of mammals are almost identical, etc.

But we're going to say it breaks immersion for them to talk as we would, without them making any weird references from our reality. That's what's going to get your jimmies rustled?

>>52670419
The only white in Tarkir was Sorin. And every white person native to Kaladesh not named Nalaar, was evil. Because of course whitey has to be evil or tumblr whines.

File: autist blech.gif (2MB, 245x200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 245x200px

>>52670477
We wuz kangs is a meme. Stop taking that shit seriously you fucking mong.
The only black empires that weren't glorified chiefdoms were all muslim empires. Yes, even Mali. Especially Mali.
/tg/ is upset that WotC designs their planes off of pop-culture understanding of a theme instead of historical accuracy. This is a perfectly rational position to hold, and isn't inspired by racism. I know this because, if this thread were full of white supremacists, there would not be people calling for greater numbers of ethnic egyptians.

long-posters should be gassed

>>52670639

1 in 200. Which is still pretty damn good for one dude.

>>52670639
iirc, if you're from the old world, there's a massive chance you're either related to Gengis or Ragnar lodbrok. Spread their seed like sprinklers.

>>52670701
>/tg/ is upset
>/tg/
No, fuck off.

>>52669290
What the hell does an artificer talk like? Based on how other rebel artificers on her home plane talk (remember night-blade or whatever the hell her name was?) she should be even worse.

>>52670701
>should be gassed
Nice try /pol/, if only you didn't fail at the very end.

>>52670477
Black people had the most powerful and wealthy christian kingdom in Africa.
But instead of being proud of that, they want to erase semitic and mediterranean history from ancient egypt and claim it was all kangz.
Fuck them and fuck you for supporting deconstructivism.

File: M'Banza Kongo.jpg (83KB, 686x560px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 686x560px

>>52670701
>were all muslim empires. Yes, even Mali. Especially Mali.
Why mention that like it was a negative?
And the Kongo was fine by the time Europe found it, pic related.

Also, what's wrong with Chiefdoms. If it's a working iron age civilization spanning more than one village, is it not a kingdom?

>>52670541
Old /tg/ would have revd the racist shit up to 11 for the lulz but nu/tg/ is a bunch of faggots with fragile feelings who are actually upset and afraid of /pol/.

Fucking newfags.

>>52670762
Black people honestly don't, the problem is African history in America is "Blah, blah, blacks come from Africa. Blah, blah, Egypt is also in Africa"
Not even a map showing where everything is. If you put the shoe on the other foot, and European history was "Whites are from here, blah, blah, Greece."
What conclusions would you be able to make as a white American who doesn't know your history because your ancestors got their last name changed to Okuonye or something?

It's a logical conclusion caused by misinformation that no one in power wants to bother to correct.

>>52670806
>afraid
No, we are just tired of you shitposting in every mtg thread whenever a new card with a black character gets spoiled. How about you fuck off if you are so triggered by someone complaining about your bullshit?

>>52670746
My god, why are you even here if it's so easy to rile you up? I bet you think that anyone who says "X Did Nothing Wrong" is also muh /pol/ boogie-man.

>>52670778
I mentioned it. You saw it as negative. The reason is because the culture that built those empires was not african culture.
There's nothing wrong with chiefdoms, but they're not empires.

>>52670845
Probably because I want to talk about new MTG cards, not about how butthurt some idiots are over blacks on their pictures.

>>52670845
>The reason is because the culture that built those empires was not african culture.
Okay, I was wondering why it was mentioned, though from what I read of Mali and Songhai, they less went full muslim, and more through a heavy dose of Islam into their African soup. The western Saharan Empires all did that, and were kind of a mish-mash of both.

Black people do that a lot. Mixing blacks with Christianity created Gospel and Voodoo of all things.

>>52670561
>Rome stole Greek culture and history
>Medieval Europe stole Roman culture and history
>England stole Celt and Germanic culture and history
>Germans and Slavs stole French culture and history
>Creoles stole Mesoamerican culture and history
>White Americans stole Native American culture and history
>Britons stole Indian, Arab, and Egyptian culture and history
>this is all okay

>Black Americans steal Egyptian culture and history
>this is bad and sick and wrong

Really calibrates my cranium.

>>52670632

If it doesn't matter whu do you care if people don't like it?

File: speachless.gif (87KB, 600x337px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 600x337px

>>52670879
If you want to talk about mtg cards, why are you in an mtg story thread? Go to the story thread?
I want to talk about the mtg story/lore - specifically how much WotC is shitting the bed. You obviously do not, so stop shitoposting and go the the spoiler threads.

>>52670932
I actually didn't notice it was a story thread, going to leave you autists alone now.

>>52670561
>Which is why black americans should celebrate them instead of trying to steal the culture and history of other people.
Then they need to be taught about in schools instead of >>52670827

>>52670899
There's nothing/very little wrong with stealing culture. There's everything wrong with saying that your ancestors were X when they obviously weren't, and then claiming that you have exclusive rights to the culture.

>>52670827

You idiot. The egyptians were all black theory was quite literally fabricated whole sale to make black people feel better about themselves. Dan Carlin talks about it in hardcore history for fucks sake.

>>52670985
Which wouldn't have needed to be done if they just talked about the Songhai instead. But instead we continue to only talk about Egypt like it was the only thing in Africa.

>>52670352
Nope

>>52670360
You must be 12

>>52669777
>If we see black people in Return to Kamigawa I will probably think it's dumb.

Oh boy, I assume you haven't heard about the Yasuke movie then? They are calling him "The first black Samurai." which is true, he was a Samurai... but only one out of a handful of foreign Samurai, and the only black one at that. And you just know itself of making the movie about an African Jesuit former slave who became a Samurai it'll be some terrible story about the struggle of modern African Americans.

>>52670156

One sun worthy of burn

>>52670977

You mean like the Romans did by saying they were the descendants of Aeneas and, by proxy, the Trojans?

Or, by that account, the countless cultures who attributed their ancestry to Troy?

>>52670977
>There's everything wrong with saying that your ancestors were X when they obviously weren't, and then claiming that you have exclusive rights to the culture.
Which is what European colonists did to Native Americans, Britons did to Romans, Romans did to Greeks, etc. And don't forget that USA classic "the Pilgrims were a poor persecuted religious minority who laid the foundations of America" myth that conveniently omits the fact that they were fanatical witch-burning nutjobs and that Jamestown was here before they were.

Why is it that White America's "WE WERE PILGRIMS AND STUFF" is acceptable and not argued about, but Black America's "WE WUZ KANGZ AND SHIET" is unacceptable and must be constantly nitpicked?

>>52671035

>15th century

Yeah dude that's why. I get that it's dumb but apparently the guy behind the Black Egyptians thing was super butt hurt that Africans were living in mud huts or as slaves to every other culture that could reach them. Agree or disagree, it's not unreasonable to have some hang ups about how your people didn't get their shit together on par with the big guys until the 16th century.

Even the nazis were worried about the fact that their archaeology divisions were only digging up stone hatchets from the time of Rome.

>>52671145

>the first black samurai was also the last

Japs figured that out pretty quick.

>>52671231

Yeah, it's like they were an isolationist state where anybody from outside is rare.

>>52671173
>Why is it that White America's "WE WERE PILGRIMS AND STUFF" is acceptable and not argued about, but Black America's "WE WUZ KANGZ AND SHIET" is unacceptable and must be constantly nitpicked?

I think the better analogy would be white America going 'WE WERE EMPIREZ IN SHIT"

I don't think anyone really gives a shit about the Pilgrims outside high school except for people who like to use them as an example of white people being awful to natives

>>52671157
Yeah. That story of Aeneas was gay as shit. So were the other stories.

>>52671173
No european colonist has ever claimed to be a direct descendant of natives. Closest you get are the Metis, and they actually WERE descendant of natives.
For the other stuff, see above; that BS is all stupid and shouldn't be accepted either.
I don't really be assed to care about the pilgrims since I'm not a Burger. Worst we Leafs did was hunt beavers and commit cultural genocide against the natives. But you don't even see too much "we wuz pilgrims and stuff" anymore either. Mostly it's people going "we wuz irish/italian an sheit," which they actually were, so...

>>52671145
I don't understand why they have to make a movie about a literal novelty Nobu kept around because he liked novelties and he thought he'd be able to pressure people in deals by having a 6' tall african next to him.
Yasuke ends up surrendering his sword like a coward in battle. This will probably be omitted though and he'll kill half the japanese population in one battle in this movie.

>>52671173

>"WE WERE PILGRIMS AND STUFF"

If you really believe that you wouldn't get rightfully mocked for saying this then you're an idiot.

>>52670701
>This is a perfectly rational position to hold, and isn't inspired by racism.

No it isn't and yes it is, because in the name of historical accuracy, people like you would make sure every set focused on white people.

>>52671349
Yeah, there were people complaining really hard about the lack of anglos in kamigawa.

>>52671349

Stop assigning motive faggot.

>>52671215
The 15th was when they fell. The Ghana, who became the Mali, who became the Songhai, had been around since the 4th, which was 4 centuries before Mohammad did his thing.

And they may have been "mudhuts" but they were quality mudhuts. See >>52670778

>>52671286
>No european colonist has ever claimed to be a direct descendant of natives.
Except for the independence movements of Peru and Mexico, led by White creoles who did in fact argue that they wuz aztecs/incas and shiet as part of the reason they should be independent.

>I'm not a Burger.
Then shut the fuck up and leave Americans to do what they want with their products.

I just don't understand why /pol/ insists on coming over here specifically to shit up our threads, and why they get SO UPSET that 1 of every like 10 characters isn't white.

>>52671349
>"I know you're racist because you want to see only white people"
>"I know you want to see only white people because you're racist"
circular logic works because

Besides, every set does already focus on white people, because every set focuses on the fucking gatewatch and they're white as as the driven snow. Even their 8-foot-tall cat friend is white!

>>52671411
>he thinks I'm /pol/ for wondering where the Semites in an egyptian themed setting are

File: magmaspray_by_guterrez-d7sytno.jpg (386KB, 700x512px) Image search: [Google]

386KB, 700x512px

>>52671423
This is why we need to go to New Phyrexia. We gotta pick up Koth

>>52671376
Because white people don't see Asians as a threat. They went from yellow-peril rapists to emasculated girl-men after the 40's and 50's. Essentially, Asians aren't a threat and can be safely assimilated.

Which is why none of you fuckin' weebs complain about Kamigawa, but the minute a brown person shows up, it's DANGER.

>>52671438
>Semites
>Egypt
The pyramids were built by paid laborers, not Jews.
The arabs didn't take over Egypt until Muhammad did his thing. Until then they were about as common in Egypt as the black people.

Egyptian is its own ethnicity honestly, and just got heavily mixed into arab.

>>52671446
So where were the people complaining there weren't any germanics and nords in arabian nights? Are brown arabs not the right kind of brown?

>>52670899
Everyone of those cultures intermixed at some point EXECPT african-americans and ancient egyptians.

>>52668556
I think the reason why you would write with an older sort of linguistic is because it helps maintain the sort of fashion of the setting.
Sure, it might not be an actual real-life time/place, but that's the point. You want it to seem like it's different. Like it's a fantasy. People in fantasy don't talk like they're from the modern day because then it doesn't feel so fantastical.

>>52671446
oh god, you're not one of those cringey "america is gonna be 51% black in 30 years and then its down with whitey," are you?

>>52671472
The internet didn't really exist back then. They probably would have.

>>52671463
Up until islam, the upperclass of egypt were typically peoples like the Phoenicians and berbers. Most of the underclass could be considered arabic/berber. You can see this very clearly by just looking up pictures of Copts. They're very genetically similar to arabs while being their own distinct group. Arabic groups were a very huge part of egypt even before islam.

>>52671500

No he's a

"all white people are fucking racist devils and either see you as dirt or a monster" retard.

>>52671518
As someone who played MtG back then, literally no one did. I've only started seeing people complain about this shit once they started making every single plane look like some 90's tv show cast.

>>52671541
He could be both

>>52671543
Do you go to your game store and hear people complaining about how many black people are in the Egypt set? Or is it just online where it happens?

>>52671404
Don't get Mexicans entangled with your nigger defense force. "America para los americanos" literally means the land is for those who live in it, not some fucker across the sea.
Nobody claimed to be an indian emperor during the independence war.

>>52671500
Nope, I'm one of the "Who gives a shit?" people. Which, by the way, is a stance that white privilege allows me to take, so I wish more whiteys in here would follow along.

But the question was why don't Asians come up in issues of race? It's because, for the most part, we don't care that they're Asian because they don't threaten us - they're emasculated, which is an entirely different issue that more Asians should be pissed off about.

>>52671569
There's a good amount of north african frequents in my local store and they've been annoyed that aren't any actual egyptians in the egypt set.
It's completely anecdotal, but my local store isn't full of pasty college kids so that might skew the results.

>>52671594
Are you seriously calling being a successful hard worker, rather than a criminal, emasculated.

>>52671594
>they're emasculated
Typical lefty racism.
>why don't they act how we want them to? why are they successful instead of living their lives as victims?

>>52671411
Didn't you learn this past November that the "/pol/ minority" isn't a minority at all and that at least 49.9% of the voting population in the USA doesn't want your tumblrshit shoved down their throat?

These are not "your" threads, these are our threads, and you better learn to live with different opinions and people who oppose your shitty agenda.

>>52671594

Fuck off cracker, we wuzn't kangs and shiet.

>>52671472
Brown means nigger.
If Atlazan was filled with actually ethnically looking amerindians and nobody complained, the narrative would morph to count amerindians as white opressors like it has done with east asians, non-muslim arabs and indians.

>>52671594
You're acting as if places like /pol/ or stormfront or tradnatblr see asians with derision or something. They don't.
They either look at japan and say "ethnostates work" or they look at china and say "this is a threat" or they look at the Philippines and say "it's not gay if she has a feminine penis."

Seriously, get some more nuanced opinions. If you're gonna see X group as the racist bad guys, at least know enough about them to say WHY they're the racist bad guys, instead of what you THINK is the reason.

>>52671569
In stores filled with college faggots anything you say that isn't praising good lord MaRo and WotC makes you a "nazi".
In stores with adult people and GPs I've talked with or overheard people complaining about forced diversity in Innistrad and how all the white males in Kaladesh were evil. The agenda is clear and not welcome.

>>52671666
A shitty agenda of having different races in a fantasy card game. Damn you're really reaching for that culture war bud.
We all think the pandering art and story are shitty, but it's fucking ridiculous to try and justify why characters shouldn't be black.

File: 6113944+_6b57c17bd256f769d37289022a51f05a[1].png (178KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 640x480px

>>52671594

>>52671766

> get some more nuanced opinions

Careful, we're already nearing critical triggering.

>>52671803

Egypt is also a shitty overdone theme. If they wanted a setting with a preponderance of blacks they should have gone with Abo culture and all that dream shit.

>>52671666
First off, hey Satan.
Have you been following the recent special elections, that are indicative of a 20+% swing against 45? You should check them out.
>your shitty agenda
Making it so that everyone is represented in a way that isn't total dogshit, and it's not just white people that have characters that look like them? Yeah, sure. I'll knock that off.

>>52671773
? No, saying shit like "X race deserves to be gassed" is what gets you called a Nazi. And please ignore Gideon and Jace, the two main men, because they don't suit your point of view.

>>52671852

>implying anyone other than a newfag spouts memes in real life

>>52671594
> white privilege

Kys your self

>>52671852
>Making it so that everyone is represented in a way that isn't total dogshit
You mean making it so that egyptians aren't represented in a block based on egyptians.

>>52671851
>If they wanted a setting with a preponderance of blacks they should have gone with Abo culture and all that dream shit.

And no matter how mythologically and historically accurate it might be, /pol/ in here would be bitching about how we have to spend a WHOLE SET with the niggers, now.

File: babby.jpg (19KB, 385x383px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 385x383px

>Earlier story had Jace remind the crew not to mention they're from "outside" as people in not-Egypt don't believe there is anything outside the force field
>Que the girls asking a vizier what the hell is going on and that they are travelers, no bad comes of this

Am I missing something, or does that not make sense? Like if they're mid twenty somethings how would a person not get remotely suspicious when they apparently no NOTHING about the one culture everyone is exposed to from birth?

>>52671851
That would actually be really neat. Especially if they had more surrealistic art to back it up.

>>52671773

I don't really think there is much room to go "all the white males in Kaladesh's story were evil."

Namely because there were four of them, by my count.

Baral, who really is evil. OK.

Gideon and Jace, who are the good guys. I get that people don't like the gatewatch but they're still white men whether you like them or not.

Chandra's white dad, the tragic martyr to Baral's corruption and inspiration for his grieving wife to fight back.

That's it. Baan was...blue but should probably be interpreted as Indian, Kambal, the primary antagonistic consul, was Indian, and who the fuck knows what Tezzeret's race is.

So going by white males native to kaladesh you have two people. One's a good guy and one's a bad guy.

>>52671949
Nah, I'd love a petrol huffing keyword.

>>52671936
Just because you're too stupid to realize you've used it or actually used it on purpose, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. By the way, it doesn't mean "automatically successful and happy."

>>52671404
I'll give you mexico but
>Peru
Maybe argentinians, white peruvians didn't even wanted independence in first place, and to them andean culture was basically foregin, they were more euroboo.

>>52671955
>he thinks we're getting surreal or abstract card art back ever again

>>52671983
> literally, actually, unironically believing in and then defending the notion of white privilege

Wew, quit going to school for a year or two, move out of your parent's place, and spend some time in the real world.

>>52671953
The people doing the lore don't understand story telling. Their references for media to emulate is of a poor quality so they make theirs in kind.

I have come to the conclusion that the average fa/tg/uy knows more about standards and practices than the people responsible for it. I'm not saying we would do it better, I'm saying we wouldn't make it so bad.

>>52672034

I doubt it, personally.

It's pretty easy to read something and find a lot of things in it that you think are bad. Actually making something that isn't just as bad is harder because there is an enormous gap between most people's ability to discern while reading and their ability to write.

The fa/tg/uy alternative would likely have as many pitfalls as the primary brand. They probably wouldn't be the same ones, but they'd be there.

>>52671957
Thank you for pointing this out.

Before anyone says
>but Kiran is dead! He doesn't count!
please remember just how many women are killed solely for men's motivation.

>>52672034
>The people doing the lore don't understand story telling.
I actually know some of them because of my old job. Very few of these people have actual content with classic fantasy. They're getting their fantasy knowledge and tropes from forgotten realm rubbish, harry potter garbage and young adult nonsense. It was ridiculous talking to them.

>>52671983
There is no such thing as white privelege. What you think it is is your own insecurities made manifest and attacking anything that is 1. measured as more successful than you by your own metrics and 2. different looking enough for you to believe your own bullshit.

My parents died when I was 4 y/o. That isn't very privileged is it? but they left me with enough money to live my life comfortably, so it SEEMS like I'm privileged. Ignore the fact that I didn't have standard parent figures in my life, not a single one, or that it has created enough hardship for me that I would trade it all for them back. And they left me everything they EARNED. They worked to the bone for me. That isn't white privilege, thats the human condition.

Simply put, whites are going extinct. Wizards needs to bring in a broader audience and the only way to do this is to reduce the number of bleach monkeys in their products.

>>52672007
At least some of the art on the Invocations is decent, even if it's lessened by the shitty card frame.

>>52672078
I admitted it probably wouldn't be better, but did assert it wouldn't be so bad. Our brand would be bad, but not THIS BAD. This is a tier of bad so offputting that my friend (who is out of the MtG game now) thought it was blatantly trying to destroy the brand for some unseen reason.

Its so bad he thought it was willfully destructive. Think about that.

File: C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_1473126113290.jpg (32KB, 193x188px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 193x188px

>>52671957
You know what would have made more sense was if Chandra's dad was a walker and Braal was Indian. That way it would explain the now one white guy on the plain full of Indians and blacks. Also Explains why Chandra was white, cause walker genes are strong.

>>52672146
There's like no diversity in art styles.
Even the pokemon TCG uses a bunch of different art styles for their cards. The claymation ones are great.

>wotc fell for the WE meme
I'm not surprised but I'm still dissapointed

Planeswalkers in hour
> nicol bolas god pharoah, 3ubr
> Jace and Chanda, mind scorcher, 3UR

Screen cap this

>>52672202
Chandra stayed white after the retcon because disgusting muds can't save themselves, they need white people to be the catalyst and the implement of their justice.

>>52672255
the move to cgi has ruined them and they won't go back from it. I'm convinced they only let Moeller (my favorite artist) do cards still is because he is a legacy artist.

>>52672202

The main problem was Chandra having an Indian name and super-white character art. They couldn't change what she looks like to that degree when people were familiar with her old look, so when they finally went into her home plane it is based on India but post-colonial India with multiple ethnicities. I figured this makes sense if you assume Kaladesh is not just one large city even if everything IMPORTANT to the Kaladesh arc happened in one.

>>52672283

Nicol Bolas is guaranteed.

Supposedly, Hour of Devastation is where they were finally able to react to the outcry against all the Gatewatch Planeswalker cards, so maybe we'll see a native Planeswalker. Especially if we're all right about thinking that Amonkhet is a spark factory.

>>52671766
Japan does not 'work' except to the death.

>>52672334

Although the story today makes me wonder if the spark factory thing holds up.

If Bolas only took this plane a couple decades ago, it seems unlikely he'd have been able to churn out too many sparks in that time. I'm feeling like he's cookin' something else here but buggered if I know WHAT.

I'm a little hazy on the timeline, too, but doesn't this mean Bolas became god-pharaoh and presumably kicked eight gods' asses AFTER the Mending?

'Cause if so he's a hell of a lot stronger NOW than he was when he reduced this entire plane to a wasteland except for the one city he spared.

>>52672374
seems like he took care of ahmonket while he was setting up alara. Dude got really prepared really fast once he found out dominaria was breaking.

>>52672374
Fug, we're getting the "see only one city in this entire fucking plane" treatment again?

>>52672374
Your first problem is assuming WotC is putting as much thought into it as you just did in your post. They aren't. This place will be a spark factory of evil people he will send against the Gatewatch. 1 or more of the evil walkers will defect, probably saccing themselves for the rest. The bad walkers will lose as they are inexperienced compared to the Gatewatch and their aims are (((evil))) so they are destined to lose.

It won't be more deep than that. We are headed to a walker falloff as they kill off a few and have them take a backseat for a while. People are getting really upset with Justice League shenanigans and WotC knows. They are trying to fix things but are doing it without angering anyone, which will anger everyone.

>>52672455

>Well, SHIT. Somebody fucked up the space-time continuum so bad reality's having diarrhea attacks at the center of the universe. That can't be good.
>I've probably got like five hours left before the aftershocks of those do-gooders fixing it reach me and I turn from a nigh-omnipotent god into an arthritic dragon wizard. I should spend them wisely.
>...Well, I'm probably not going to get another chance to beat up eight gods at the same time for a while...

>>52671803
I am ok with different races in card games. Give me ethnical phoenicians and semites for Egypt, or at least nubians. Not african-americans.

African-americans don't belong anywhere outside of america or modern settings where they could have flown anywhere by conventional means. I'd be perfectly fine with a modern movie about african-americans protesting or fighting in the arab spring. But the people who became african americans were separated from egypt by the biggest natural deathtrap in the world, and didn't look like modern african-americans either.

>>52672506
If he was Nicol Tulkas for a block I would cum mana for him.

>>52671852
>Making it so that everyone is represented in a way that isn't total dogshit
Exept egyptians don't get representation because your cult replaced them with african-americans to appease we wuz ignorami that won't succeed no matter how many fictional nog dicks you shove down little Timmy's throat.

>>52672656

Of the three human legendary creatures, two are egyptians and one is nubian, from what I'm seeing. I haven't looked as closely at the art for common humans.

>>52672098
Huh. Well that's certainly interesting. I like Harry Potter, but it's not high art, and I'd hope for a wider reference base. This stuff is... not good.

IMHO, the planar lore is still usually okay. Maybe because it's done by different people, maybe because lore is easier.

Then again, I seem to be one of the few here who doesn't entirely hate either the magic team or this expansion. So I might just be completely mad.

>>52668335
christ that's an old reference

Wait wait wait

Is Chandra gay for Nissa? When did this start?

>>52672817

They've been close since the end of Oath of the Gatewatch, since they had to combine their powers to attack the Eldrazi titans and that doubled as a spiritual connection.

Chandra being bisexual should come as no shock to anyone, though.

>>52672656
>>52672591
>caring this much about what shade of brown characters on make believe Egypt world are

>>52671953
If the writers weren't a bunch of shits from tumblr, the vizier would walk the gatewatch right into Bolas' trap.
But no, all these fags know of interacting with other cultures is talking to american tour guides in Cancun.

>>52672488
I'm not even convinced there will be an evil league of evil at this point. Wizards is so bad at storytelling and spoilers we would have surely seen some hint of it by now.

>>52669257

But then Maui is White Green Blue and that don't jive at all.

>>52669107
I don't think they do, as Venser was 120-something during the events of the scars block.

>>52666988
>Todays Stories introduced another Nubian in the Egyptian plain. Because why would we want Egyptians in the Egyptian setting.
It's not literally Egypt and even if it was black people has been a part of its history and present whether you like it or not.

>>52672334
There are four smaller thrones at the foot of Bolas' pharao throne.
If he comes back with Ramaz, Tezzeret, Vraska and an Amonkhet native walker repping W, beats the gatewatch and saves his plane from erratic overpowered outsiders. I'd be ecstatic.

It'd be the best possible Justice Lords episode and build towards the super obvious planeswalkers war plot they're building towards.

>>52668812
>I'm going to make a non-comedic sci-fi setting in which all of the aliens speak like valley girls.
Hold up hold up hold up.

Are you going to follow through on this?

Because I would actually read Alien Mean Girls/Heathers.

>>52672481
Multiculturalism by RL definition and "diversity" by tumblrite definition don't seem to mix.

Fucking americans and their race discutions.

>>52672481
I thought there literally is only one city on the plane.
Because everywhere else is fucking dead.
In fact it seems like a really important crucial part of the plot for everywhere but the one city to be explicitly dead and zombified.

>>52666988
Mhmmm, like, it's OK to displace native populations for blacks dum-dum!!

>>52673172
Fucking non-americans not knowing how to spell.

>>52673194
Listen, I'm Egyptian, we have black people in our country, and I'm getting fucking tired of you Americans using us for your stupid culture war between this and casting in shitty Hollywood movies and fuck, just fuck off.