Mages Guild: Open Enrolment Edition

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You know, I could say something, but we all know that necromancy will be stuffed to bursting with edgy kids no matter what.

I'd be delighted to see new faces in the Aeromancy department. As well as anyone who desires to learn the act of flying, aeromancer or broom flyer alike!

>>52655018
Heyheyhey. I got quite a few applications here.
>Drops them all onto a desk.
Maybe you find a few good ones.

>>52655036
I got a few hundred applications here for you guys alone. Should have droppped them off at the front desk.

Be positive! At least you´re going to have lots of spares!

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>>52655018
Sign up for the Magical Girls Department, no magic talent needed. Only some danger, and almost guaranteed embarrassment and you can wield amazing magical powers!

>>52655085
Also, magic talking rock jewelry.

>>52655079
...I'm not the head of the department, so leave them in front of Lazarus's door.

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Let's see. You can heal yourself if anyone from another department tries to hurt you, and you can retaliate by having giant boulders chase them down.

What's not to like?

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>>52655018
>>52655079
>A much larger Harpy drops off a slightly bigger stack of papers.
This should be the last of them.
You think anyone would be interested in mail magic while we're here?

>>52655099
That only happens when I experiment, though I suppose that is a boon.
>>52655113
Also, you guys can build stuff with magic, so that's cool.

>>52655113
>Nona tilts her head towards you
You can heal yourself with rocks?

>>52655036
At least you know that you will always have an influx of students!

>>52655099
You don´t want to take a bit of his workload of his shoulders? Fiiine~.

>>52655123
Maybe? Enchanted Letters are fun. How are we supposed to teach them though? Can´t they all not write already, Sis?

>>52655148
Doesdoesdoes common stuff have fewer people willing to learn?

>>52655143
You're always experimenting, though.

>>52655171
>Laughs

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>>52655148
You would be surprised by some of the ways some magic can be used. I hear someone used Aeromancy to dig in order to win a bet once.
>>52655196
Well, how else am I going to learn things?

>>52655171
Common stuff? Such as Mail Delivery?
Im certain there might be a few newcommers out there that would be interested in it!

>>52655227
I would not doubt that in the slightest!
I once knew an Aeromancer who used their abilities to swim competatively

>>52655171
No, most should be able to.
>She looks around the room.

>>52655250
Hey, you.
>A large black harpy walks up to you, her feet clicking on the floor.
Can you write?

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>Stares at all the new redrobes walking in

>>52655143
That's very true, we are a department of construction as well.

>>52655148
Not exactly, but geomancy is more than just flinging a few pebbles!

>>52655263
Can I write?
Why of course! Why do you ask?

>>52655270
Doss, you might want to take a nicer approach to acquiring new members!

>>52655299
I would have never said it was just flinging pebbles!
I just never knew it could heal you!

>>52655196
What´s so funny?
>Hands him a few applications for private tutoring from the pile. Gonna look for your boss´ room then.

>>52655250
Iii meant flight! The stuff you´re teaching!
>Hopes she didn´t offend you.
Should be more widespread. Flying is fun!

>>52655263
Sis!
>Cracks up and pulls out several pens and pieces of paper.

>>52655250
Hah! Did he win?
>>52655299
Has your department done any big projects lately? Any castle or city building happening? I mean with Geomancy you guys could make a city out of nothing right?

>Offers rides on his Storncloud to passing applicants.
I hope you all find a good department to stay in here.
>Behind him is really bad weather.

>>52655317
Oh, he loves work.

>>52655227
Maybe the ones who ask you to do crazy experiments aren't the best ones to be experimenting with?

>>52655317
Flight?
It should be more widespread, considering its usefulness!
And thats why I have open classes for anyone to join!

>>52655352
He beat a handful of competators!
But the winner of the race was a hydromancer
>she shrugs
Go figure right?

>>52655308
Just checking. We weren't sure.

>>52655317
What? Is something wrong?
Turns out most probably do know how to write. Shouldn't be too hard to teach them, if they wanted.

...This is gonna sound like a long shot.
But is anyone interested in the trade of arcane repairs?

>>52655308
You might want to try taking a nicer approach to shutting your corn hole, birdy boy. I don't need recruits, I was staring deep into the bowel of their corneas, wondering to my self.
"Did I turn the oven off?"

>>52655018
I do need a few students, there aren't many passing the enterence exam. Which is really nothing more than a personality test. I need to stop of the perverts and their gender potions and other creepy shit. But anyway here is my pitch.
Alchemy is an excellent choice as a school; particularly with me as a teacher. First things first you will absolutely not have to deal with all of those perverted fools that plague our study, secondly my class is designed to facilitate a greater understanding for magic as a whole, and thirdly the lab is the safest place in the world to practice and learn the craft of Alchemy as safeguards are in place that prevent 99.999% of possible harm from mishaps.

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>>52655404
Are most instructors you meet unable to write?

>>52655414
>realizes I forgot an image with my first post
Birdy Boy?
>she scoffs and turns away from you

>>52655364
I'm sure they will, some of them might end up with me!
>>52655376
Are you suggesting I do testing on people who doesn't volunteer? That's highly unethical and I bet you will never mange to catch me doing something like that.
>>52655390
Well in the water an Aeromancer is a bit out of their element.
>>52655417
Must me nice to be popular enough to make requirements for joining. How is alchemy doing these days?

>>52655390
I learned it immedialy after I hatched. Got dropped of the cliff! Fun times! Couldcouldcould drag a few latebloomers over here though.

>>52655376
And you don´t? Considering you don´t want too.
>Has elivered the applications already.

>>52655404
Nonono. Just found it funny how you asked the first person you saw. You aren´t normally that outgoing Sis.
>Is definitely not jealous.

>>52655453
Forgot name.

>>52655453
My niece could probably point to at least four incidents in the last hour.

>>52655464
I do, it's just a bitch to do it. Undead are fairly stupid, you see.

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>>52655299

Hello Professor Samantha! I'm looking to start soon enough and I was wondering what types of internships and patronages wizards who graduate your courses tend to come away with?

Oh also who are some notable alumni?

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>>52655443
Oops.

>>52655491

Professor Doomblight, I have a basis of knowledge in Geomancy and I was wondering how much could translate to your courses? The necromatic sciences have always interested me and who doesn't want a subservient semi-sentient creature to help with projects?

What else can you tell me that might sway me to your courses over Samantha's Geomancy courses?

>>52655453
He. If the experiments don´t turn them off. One of the reasons I don´t teach. That and I never show up in the department I belong to in name only. Still have the research papers on your Source stuff...

>>52655479
>>52655464
Here. Goddammit.

>>52655453
He did have the genius idea of jetstream propulsions applied to a balanced body. Using his arms as a guide. It was quite impressive to say the least!

>>52655464
Considering a member of your.. nature. I could rightfully assume thats how one is trained to fly at a young age.

>>52655508
Exactly!

>>52655525
Nice to see you out of the cloud, WIlhelm!

>>52655524
Well, first and foremost, how do you feel about undead hordes?

>>52655443
No, though I haven't bothered asking. I just deliver letters.
>Her claws tap impatiently on the floor.
I simply wasn't sure if most apprentices here would be interested in mail magic at all. If they couldn't write, though, it wouldn't be possible to learn.
I suppose that's a better question. Will most apprentices coming in know how to write?

>>52655464
We needed to know the answer to something, so I asked. Nothing special.

>>52655491
>Examines you closely.
You´re still alive though...
>Claps a wing in front of her mouth.
Sorry, didn´t want to assume!

>>52655539
Maybe you should choose a less androgynous hair style!

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>>52655541

They make me fucking hard.

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>>52655497
Well Nu'udro, most of the geomancers that graduate from the guild and don't stay on in an advisory role seem to go into contract labor. Building and repairing stone buildings, road paving, the greenthumbs tend to be more into landscaping and arboreal work.

Of course, with the many kingdoms that all need competent engineers, if you come with the proper recommendations I expect you'll have your pick!

>>52655550
No, I have undead do my paperwork.

>>52655559
Well, there you have it, necromancers make undead.

>>52655539
It´s been nice in there so far. Suzie doesn´t agree though!
>The stormcloud growls.

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>>52655491
Maybe, but I bet you can't.
>>52655497
Well I know Samantha is the head of the department, smart girl, probably the youngest Department Head in the Guild. I don't know many other Geomancers.
>>52655525
Oh? Did you have time to read them or do you use them as bedding and fire starter?
>>52655539
Yes, it was certainly impressive, but I imagine the competition left him washed up on the shore.

Can I join you guys?

>>52655584

So that's your pitch? I get to make undead?

>>52655565

Awesome, that sounds truly inspiring. Can you tell me some of your favorite (or least favorite) experiences with Geomancy?

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>>52655548
I would hope that most would know how to write before trying to join. At the very least, most know how to read!

>>52655551
Androgynous? I dont know many a male with hair like mine Doss. But My hairstyle supports my aerodynamics!

>>52655587
You do seem quite content anytime i've passed you in the air!

>>52655596
Indeed they did. But 2nd place in a swimming competition isnt too bad of a title when facing a hydromancer!

>>52655627
Of course, grab a seat and sit down. Things might be a bit chaotic but that's what makes it fun.
>>52655636
Well, I bet he thought it would be a breeze before that hydromancer sunk his hopes.

>>52655539
Wellwellwell... Sis thaught me! Her teaching still was kinda different from everyone elses though.
>Rubs her behind.
That how I first meet my Sis!

>>52655548
Ohohoh. That makes sense, I quess.

>>52655584
So you just delegate to everyone else. Past experience in management?

>>52655627
Of course. It's kind of why we have this going on.

What kind of magic are you looking to get into?

>>52655634
...Well, it might irk Doomblight a bit, but possibly the thing I did that made me appreciate this branch of magic was how I kept reburying animated skeletons.

Of course this was several years ago when the whole idea of magic was...very much new to me. But it just goes to show that there's a lot of upward growth potential here.

>>52655634
Well, it's why our department is the largest.

>>52655670
Yes, matter of fact.

>>52655596
Reinforce's device.

>>52655596
I somehow ended up trying to teach Suzie how to talk with them. Still do.
>Suzie can speak, just doesn´t do it in front of him.

>>52655636
You have to enjoy what you love! Weather is all about experiencing it! And flying brings you closer.

>>52655636
Good.
I can't say I like advertising much, though.
>She fluffs out some of her feathers before rearranging them comfortably back down.
So if you hear of anyone interested in mail magic, send me a letter.

>>52655670
Yes.
>Torrey looks to the window.
Should we be going? There are still more deliveries to make.

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>>52655636
Aerodynamics? Explains the flat chest

>>52655417
Oh, you meant Alchemy in general. The basics of Alchemy aren't particularly hard to understand expecially when compared to some of the more complex magics. However, what really sets Alchemy apart is the shear variety of stuff you can make with it; think of an effect whatever it is Alchemy can replicate it. Everyone has their signature style to do things with it which makes the potion market very competitive and easy to get into, so you'll probably be selling your creations to consumers to make a profit to fund the creation of your increasingly complex experiments and creations. Alchemical creations such as the biomechacoons here are an example of what you'll be making as helpers, at least when you are a master of Alchemy like me. To an Alchemist assassins and bandits are no threat as long as you prepare for when you are attacked by them. Whether it be a potion of detect creature, an explosive, a teleportation potion or whatever else you can create. Any bandit who tries to rob you or assassin who tries to kill you will be sorry.

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>>52655666
are you sure? the furniture is giving me dirty looks

>>52655672
I want to blow things up with my mind.

>>52655678

I think those numbers are a bit artificially inflated by people who chose undeath over the after life to continue their studies.

>>52655672

Sounds awesome, thank you for taking the time to answer questions and interact with your students. It shows you care about them and is a very approachable attitude.

What sort of projects do we have going on right now that I'll be working on when courses start?

>>52655666
He was always an ambitious aeromancer!

>>52655670
Your sis?
Would that be the other mail deliverer?
>pointing over to her

>>52655697
>she scratches at the back of her head
Are you able to predict the weather at all?

>>52655698
I most certainly will!

>>52655706
>she gasps
Doss!
How inappropriate!

>>52655706
>>52655722
>Struggles to heal that massive burn she received
this might be beyond my abilities

>>52655453
The requirements are a necessity otherwise incidents like what happened with the potions of genderbending a few months ago would happen all the time.

>>52655714
Hmm. Probably pyromancy or psionics, though I don't know if we have a rep for the latter around.

>>52655720
Well the projects going on now are very different from where you'd start. Depending on your entrance exam scores it could be anywhere from two to eight weeks before we start practical lessons.

>>52655678
>Just stares at you and cracks up again.
Sorrysorrysorry. Well, I hope you manage the new school year too. Bye~
>Flies off towards her Sister.

>>52655698
Okay~ Where are we flying next? Please don´t drop me off another cliff.

>>52655722
Yesyesyes. Best sister in the world!

>>52655720
Then you've clearly not seen the flowchart for organizing the dorms.

>>52655754
>Confused wave

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>>52655018
Ugh... Is it really THAT time of the year again? Dammit... Looks like I'll have to go get my tanning oil and shorts...

>Pulls off shirt, and tosses it to the wind...

Now then... The exotic, and highly "exciting" field of "Sex'omancy", is ready to accept newcomers of all kinds!

>>52655678
Her owner provided the consent, her curremt abilities to communicate left her unable to do so on her own.
>>52655697
Alright, who's Suzie?
>>52655714
It was probably made only to recognise whoever made it, but don't worry about it. That, or it's someone transmorphed into the shape of a chair as punishment for causing trouble. Either way, don't worry about it.
>>52655722
Huh... alright then. Guess my puns flew way over your head.

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>>52655769
....that's a thing?

>>52655748
pyromancy?
>he makes a face

>>52655748
Oh that's a shame. My father has been having me make his mine shafts for years! I'd figured that we'd at least be building land bridges before the third week.

>>52655714
Hey bud, I've got your back covered. Just stick with me. I hear there's gonna be a party for the new entries at the end of the night if you're interested,

>>52655722
Grow a backbone, sissy!

>>52655769
You're very lucky my niece is not here.

>>52655783
I suppose that is one argument.

>>52655722
Depends on my mood and how accurate you want it to be.
>Feeds Suzie an apple.
And on how much I like you. I can after all change the weather after I made an forecast.

It´s going to be sunny the next few days... Unless you want me to change it?

>>52655783
>Points at his Stormcloud.
Don´t tell me you forgot. It´s her.
>The cloud emits a few lightning bolts.

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>>52655736
>the burn is real
>>52655754
She seems to be quite the sister indeed
>>52655783
Puns?
Were you making jokes?
>>52655802
I have a backbone! I'm just not in the mood to be insulted Doss!

>>52655678
Undead (aside from the fully sentient kind) don't count towards the size of the department the council has stated this multiple times. If you include them in the population of your department for the purpose of getting more funding then you shall get none.

>>52655789
Psionics it is then. Unless you're really into art and magic that's REALLY out of left field.

...actually, I should probably check and make sure she's here.

>>52655793
Oh really? Mine shafts are delicate work, what with the air return needing to be clear but at the same time as thin as possible to maximize the dig space.

How have you been working out the math of it all?

>>52655789
>He'd begin striking poses as tanning lotion is magically applied.

Of course it is! It's one of the oldest schools of "Sexy Magic"! Right next too "A'sex'trology", and "En'chaffing"!

>>52655722
Thank you.
My name is Torrey, by the way. Just address a letter to me, no destination needed. It'll find me.

>>52655754
Don't be silly, I wouldn't dream of it.
>She smiles a little, maybe plotting something.
Areis, then Wallencia. We'll get to fly over the Firepeaks on the way.
Ready to go?

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>>52655783
I don't want to sit on it.....

>>52655793
>Nods and sticks to your side
i'm Jeff.

>>52655838
who's here? magic and art? what are you talking about?

>>52655845
>his eyes widen
>Pic related

>>52655805

No man, nor woman, should have to go without knowing the limitless power that comes from a mastery of "Sex'omancy"!

>>52655838

Uhhh? Math? HAHAHA...err right. Tons of it. Loads of it. Totally not just going by the old dwarven texts and following instinct.

When I'm working with the land it seems to speak to me and through me in my work. It shapes what I do a little bit to be quite honest with ya. Plus I'd like to boast that me family has been making some of the finest mines for 18 generations!

>>52655817
>Nods in approval.
Shesheshe is!
>Waves and flies off.

>>52655861
Ready when you are Sis!
>Is already in starting position.

>>52655833
I'm not!

>>52655882
I'm not even going to try dealing with you right now.

>>52655769
You guys are still around? I thought you all joined the Bards College. Or was it the other way around?
>>52655789
The thing with mages is this, given enough time anything will be a thing.
>>52655805
It's the kind of argument that keeps me in business. I'll do what I can get away with.
>>52655811
Oh, right. Sorry I have a terrible memory sometimes. Not sure I can make any devices for her.
>>52655817
A few, mostly air and water ones, though they clearly flew over your head. Wait, I already used that one... oh well, that's what happens when you have your head in the clouds.

>>52655769
I though that you and your magic were banned from the guild for numerous instances of your students and magical girls.

>>52655811
No no! I would prefer it to be sunny!
I have a class in a few days and was wondering the predictions!
>>52655861
Torrey. I will remember it!
>>52655897
>waves
Goodbye!

>>52655911
this place is amazing! and horrifying!

>>52655871
I'm Nu'udro. How much magic have you worked before lad?

>>52655900
Can we do something about that flamboyant one? Like you sick a few ghouls and I trap them in a dome of clay?

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>the ghostly girl crawls out of the floor

Why are we trying to recruit? Or are we just trying to push our departments?

>>52655871
You seem interested in learning the almighty, and godlike power of---
>He'd do a spin, before sirkinga rather sensual pose.

"Sex'omancy"!

>He'd begin moonwalking at this point.

Perhaps you'd be interested in signing up for classes? I can assure you, it's far less dangerous than most of the other classes taught at the guild.

Unless you find tanning lotion, and always looking... Sexy... To be dangerous?

>>52655911
Now, now... It´s no problem. We all forget stuff from time to time.
>Looks at Suzie.
Suzie with a device though? If she wants to and it´s possible for stormclouds, then it´s fine.

>>52655915
Tell me the date and time and it´s going to be sunny then. We are actually supposed to get a tornado in a few days, so I need to plan a bit.

>>52655914
If so, then that must have been before my time. I don't remember them ever mingling with my girls.
>>52655929
I know! Isn't it great?
>>52655942
Because we rely on recruitment to keep our member count rising. Most people don't raise families here. I mean, some do, but we're the exception rather than the rule as far as I can tell.

>>52655897
All right. Let's go, then.
>She makes sure her mailbag is securely closed and on, then takes off with a powerful push from her legs and a great swoop of her wings.

>>52655915
>Torrey nods, then speeds out the window, having to fold her 10-foot wingspan in and free-fall for a moment to fit through.

>>52655911
>His abs would shine with the light of the gids themselves as he speaks.
>That... Or it's all the tanning lotion on him? You're not really sure.

My friend, Bards learn how to be sensual, and sexy, from us. They merely try to pass it off as their own thing.

>He'd begin striking more poses.

Our order is as old as the stars themselves!

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>>52655871
I'm talking about Ritual magic. It's not practiced often here, mostly because it can be time consuming.

Also I think our Guild's chief ritualist might be busy.

>>52655888
I see. Well, I'd certainly be willing to give you the exam and based on those I may decide to give you an...accelerated introduction. After all, if you know most of it, why take the time to repeat it, right?

>>52655911
Now Im pretty sure youre just making fun of me!
Quin Bradley!
>>52655977
Thank you Wilhelm!
It would be on Thursday!
Precisely 4 hours after noon!
>>52655982
>waving at Torrey

>>52655817
I'm sorry, it's all these skeletons.
I hate skeletons.
You should to

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>>52655936
I can do a little black magic...
>does a thumb trick

>>52655943
Not at all! where do I sign up?

>>52655987
>he makes a face
that sounds lame as fuck. what kind of loser would want to become a ritualist?

>>52655914
Again. The bards that fling themselves in droves at our school was at fault for this. As of last year, all such uses of Sex'omancy under such pretenses, us punishable by "desexification". Or being turned irreparablly ugly!

>>52655936
I doubt that would work.

>>52655977
It's the whole "if it's possible" that I'm unsure of, I'll be sure to ask for interest if I come up with some way to do it though. I'm always interested in trying new ideas.
>>52655985
>looks confused
Right... are you trying to seduce me or something. Or is posing and showing your abs like that something you always do?
>>52656012
I was trying to do that for a while, but I obviously failed.

>>52655987
I agree with your level of pragmatism! So what's the exam?

>>52656017
>smiles wide and gives a hearty laugh
Sounds like we'll fit in. Want a mug of ale?

>>52656035
Well what do you propose then? And surely the ghouls would make a feast of him. I don't see any defenses that pansy has.

>>52655980

I honestly don't pay attention to our member count, but I suppose there are a fair number of mishaps and experiments that would reduce that count.

I don't really recruit for my department.

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>>52656017
Where the hell is your thumb?

>>52656012
Don´t worry. it´s going to be sunny then. I´ll take care of the tornado beforehand and all should go well.

>>52656061
Well, I´ll allowed if Suzie is fine with it. Just stop before anything bad seems to happen.
>Suzie emits lighting in acknowledgement.
Now, sorry, but if you excuse me, I´m tired and need to go to bed. Good night and good luck with the new batch of students.

>>52655915
>Tweet, the harpy waves back before securing her back and following >>52655982 out of the window.
Sisssssss~ wait for meeeee.

>>52656069
>his eyes widen again and he leans in
Is that allowed?

>>52656080
>He does it again!

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>>52656080
You sound like you need an ale friend.

>>52656016
I should hate skeletons?
What did skeletons ever do?
Why do you hate on skeletons so much!

>>52656061
Here I was trying to tell you an interesting event, and you just sit there and make fun of me!

>>52656092
Why is there a tornado planned around that time?

>>52656069
Everyone has defenses, it's the ones you can't see that are dangerous.

>>52656017
>He'd would snap his fingers, causing a bright, pink light to fill the room momentarily.
>When it had finally dissipated, there would be a piece of paper and a golden quill, hovering in the air before him that would read "Student registry".
>There would also be near illegible writing at the bottom of the sheet. But that's more than likely unimportant.

Merely sign your name upon this sheet, and fill out all the information as is asked. Then hope to the gods that you are accepted for classes.

>>52656017
Someone who either loves art, or doesn't have other options.

>>52656069
I think I can slate it for tomorrow if you can get a free moment in the archives.

>>52656120
>The geomancer just rolls her eyes.

>>52656061
>He'd let out a sigh, before whispering.

Keep this between me and you, but this is how the "Sex'omancy" department, tries to get students for our classes. I drew the short straw and have to do it this year. A little humiliating, but always worth it in the end.

>He'd then strike another pose. His nipples glowing with a bright white light.

>>52656079
Well if that works for you then you don't have to recruit. Some of us however have ambitions beyond our current means. As such, I'll at least do my best to recruit some new members.
>>52656080
Word of advice, don't think about it too hard. I once saw a redrobe who did that and had his head explode.
>>52656092
Thank you, and have a good night.
>>52656109
Well I did find it interesting, though I couldn't resist having some fun with it. It's just how I live.
>>52656152
>nods
Well keep it up then.

>>52656144
I'll be there.

>>52656097
Of course mate! In fact I think there's a professor of Brewomancy around here somewhere. I was thinking of minoring.

>>52656165
Indeed I shall!

>He'd strike a few more sexy poses.

How do you advertise for your department?

>>52656120
>He quickly does so!

>>52656196
uhhh i'll have a small pint then...

>>52656165

I'm sure you do, and I agree with your recruitment.

>>52656117
The true weapon against the overconfident I would think.

>>52656023
I don't believe that you were able to prove that. Now where is the record for that case ... Ah ha found the record. Yes The verdict on that was that you were unable to provide significant evidence that newcomer bards were solely or at least mostly responsible for the incidents. Hmm but we're is the final ruling on the issue; it seems like it was a large restriction on sex'omancy that ran out just a few days ago. The Council is supposed to have a debate on whether to unrestrict you, to ban your department entirely or to keep some restrictions.

>>52656144
Avert your eyes no longer Madam! For the master of "Sex'omancy" can brighten anyone's day with but a spin and a smile!

>>52656197
I snatch people up before anyone else can give them good advice and dangle shiny things in front of their eyes.

It works often enough to keep my department running.
>>52656231
Thank you.

>>52656231
Very true.

Now, I have to go arrange dorms so we can handle this year's influx.

Goodbye, all!

>>52656231
How's life on the fifth floor?

>>52656196
Good!

...I should probably give you directions to the Archives though, it's...not as simple a route as it looks.
Once this thread dies down a link to archived.moe will be posted. Follow that link and we continue to RP in between threads, allowing us to keep stories going while also not clogging up the board every day

>>52656197
>>52656244
She bribes them with shiny rocks.

And I used to be a member of the Bardic College before coming over here. I'm wise to most of your tricks.

>>52656244
Hey, you stay away from Professor Samantha. It's bad enough we have to tolerate your glowing nipple tassels in the same room. Let alone pointed at us.

>>52656222
>quickly pulls a small keg from his knapsack and dispenses a pint

See ya tonight at the party? I hear they're going to smuggle in a drake and place bets on drunken wrestling.

>>52656165
Ill forgive you.
Only because I get a few members of your department in my classes, and they speak highly of you!

>>52656235
>He'd would strike a pose. His back arched towards him, while his hair is dipped into a bucket of water that had appeared out of nowhere.

And my department fully awaits their answer on the matter!
>He'd then throw his head forwards in slow motion. Sending drippings of water all around, as he senually dries off his blonde hair.

>>52656264

>waves

>>52656290

The vent monsters have been active, which may be my fault for not warning the last department that was sent up that way.

>>52656144
I'll never understand artists.

>>52656302
I CAN WRESTLE A DRAKE!?

>>52656319
If you want to stay in the guild you should probably tone it down a little; quite a few council members find your displays annoying.

>>52656302
I believe you're thinking of Instructor Alvalia, and her nipple tassels, who unfortunately cursed to forever only be able to wear those, and knee high leather Boots.

>>52656301
There are no tricks here madam! Only the powers of "Sex'omancy" at work.

>He'd flash her a wink.

But I can always change that if you'd like?

>>52656332
Ah, right.
I tried putting the rat poison and the goblin poison outside the vents.
They did eat it, but I'm starting to get the feeling despite the vents only being 1 square foot in size, the monsters are much bigger.

>>52656378
I apologise for that. I'll make a mental note to not remove my pants as well.

>>52656315
Well, I do try to give it my all helping the girls. Glad to hear it's appreciated. Speaking of your classes, I got a potential student who might want to join your class. One of my daughters have an interest in flight magic you see.
>>52656349
Of course you can wrestle a drake, where do you think you are?

...wait, admittedly wrestling drakes is more of a Fighters Guild thing, though I guess there is room for drake wrestling in both Guilds.

>>52656386

They're like big geckos that squeeze through the vents, yea. Rat poison doesn't do much. In fact, I think they like it. My traps are likely less, erm, humane, though I only put those around the closet.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>burst into the meeting and posed
Are there any way to improve my weapon bond limits and expand it usability to my armor and shield? I want be like those masked hero from tales in the land of the rising sun.

>>52656349
I mean, you can try. I wouldn't suggest it since you don't have any magical tricks up your sleeves like most of us do.

>>52656385
Now listen I'll put this politely once before I have the floor swallow ya whole. Be nice to Miss Samantha, that includes being courteous and decidedly not making her uncomfortable.

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>>52656386
I guess that means I'll have to go down there and get rid of whatever's down there... Maybe some of the students would want to join in as well... Make a dungeon delving field trip?

>>52656416
Really?
One of y-
Does she happen to look like you?
And would she be interested in the art of aeromancy or the applications of broom flying?

>>52656349
Fair enough.

>>52656385
I'm in a relationship already.

>sits down in a chair, enjoying life
>then the chair eats him
>Rip Jeff 4e 81- 4e 98

>>52656418
...I gotta try the alligator poison.
Don't worry about humane methods, we're beyond that now.
>>52656439
Actually we're talking about the fifth floor.
Is it still a dungeon if you have to travel upwards?
Regardless, solid idea.

>>52656386
Sounds like you have monsters coming up from the basement, some of them seem to treat available space as a suggestion rather than a rule.
>>52656421
Yes, yes there is. Sadly, it's slightly outside of my department. Though I suppose that depends, how do you feel about fighting in a dress?
>>52656446
She's a cabbit, so she looks a bit like me, smaller and younger though. And I think it's more direct flight than broom flight.

>>52656474
Yeah, it's still considered a "dungeon".

As for it being a good idea. My class does "adventuring" field trips, so it'll be nice for them to get a chance to kill some wannabe monsters.

>>52656484
I do not think that I have met any one of your cabbit daughters.
But if she is interested in flying than I can't bring myself to ever turn her away!

You can always tell her to come down to my classes!
I have a few leaflets that I hung in the hallways that I'm sure you could find and give to her
>scrambling at her pockets
I dont think I have any on me right now though!

>>52656484
Coming UP FROM the basement!?
Hells teeth I should have known.
Maybe we should try smoking the fuckers out, then Brell and the students can smack em' over the head.
>>52656510
How much experience does your class have with vents? Or the basement.
Because this "Dungeon" would be as if the two of them had a kid.

>>52656523
I'll send her your way then.
>>52656535
Well down in the basement is where all the nastiest critters are right? I've heard horror stories about those things since I first joined the guild around two centuries ago.

>>52656474
That might work, actually. My traps usually end up turning their heads incorporeal and into the wall.

>>52656535

I just had problems in the basement last meeting. There's always something down there.

>>52656553

The last flood swept a lot of them away, but yes, there are some nasty critters down there. The Alchemists make sure to have heavy wards.

>>52656535
Depends... How much are you willing to pay the students to solve your problem?

>>52656484
Will I get a mask? I would prefer to fight in tight with changeable armor. I bid you farewell for I must continue my search.

>>52656456
>mumbles something about his aspirations with the department being crushed

>>52656535
Hey give a shout if you ever need a hand. I've been rooting all sorts of nasty critters from me mines for years. Developed a bit of a knack for it.

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>>52656568
I know a guy who works full time keeping anything nasty from coming up from there.
>>52656582
Well, I could probably get you a mask, yes. I'll be sure to have something if you come by again.

And with that, I'm off!

>>52656553
Oh yeah.
You ever had to fix the plumbing down there?
It's the FUCKING WORST.
>>52656568
Yeah, I remember that some druid flooded the place.
I had to go down after with the other maintenance guys and drain the place. Pain in the fucking arse.
>>52656573
Ok if I remember the maintenance budget for this month...
I think we could throw 2k gold at the problem, split that amongst them as you please.
>>52656608
You ever been in the vents?
They've never been cleaned. Some say there's treasure in there.
There's definitely monsters.

>>52656582
Hey.... Do I know you from somewhere? Somewhere a lot of people died...?

>>52656553
Maybe at this point I should start heading down to your department and pitching my case for flight training!
If youd let me of course.

>>52656630
I feel like you trying to entice me with treasure should offend me because your profiling my dwarven nature...but on the other hand there might be treasure.

>>52656608
Sorry, what was that?

>>52656646
No. I must really go now, bye.
>dash
>action surge
>arcane charge
>dash

>>52656669
I ain't even joking.
My last expedition to the 3rd-floor vents, I came back with 6 gold cups. The kobolds had hoarded them in there.
And I'd only gone in 20 feet before I got chased out by Kobolds.

>>52656630

Oh yes. That druid even flooded MY floor. I stuck him inside a mop. It seemed appropriate.

>>52656681
Oh nothing Professor Samantha, I'll see ya tomorrow.

>>52656761

Oh shit laddy. You'll have to take me down there some time and we'll come back with a fortune.

>>52656767
That is hilarious.
Out of curiosity, you buying those mops in yourself or are they coming out of the maintenance closets?
We're missing a few, but I'd put it down to witches not knowing the difference between a broom and a mop.
>>52656796
Next expedition, I'll give you a call.
Might be soon, looking at the fifth floor situation.

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>>52656777
I'll see you then.

>Sam takes a seat and starts reading a bit, waiting to see if anyone else will pop up.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>52656685
*security system activates* fires a stunning bolt at you.

>walks in and takes her seat

Okay, sorry I'm late for the meeting, what are we doing again?

>>52656827

Oh yes. You may have used him cleaning the basement.

I may have taken a few, yes but most of mine come from the 5th floor closet I commandeered.

>>52656920
Trying to get new students for each department.
So if you've ever wanted more fleshwarping students, nows your chance!

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>Walks in with bed head and plops into a sit
So, I didn't get the memo, what's up?

>>52655018
Hi, my name is Nagash. Pleased to meet you headmaster. Anyway, I like stuff that has to do with bits and bobs regarding life, except really the part after life. Would that be a problem? I'll be good I swear...!

>>52656945
Alright, i'll order in some more.
Its not a problem, Archwizard usually gives us the big bucks this time of year.
Claims its about "Spring Cleaning"
>>52656964
Its an Open Day. So departments get to advertise to students for the start of the academic year.
Though If I recall correctly, don't Oozemancy students start earlier?

>>52656969
Mm, another necromancy department student?

>>52656951
Oh right, the sales pitch. Give me a moment.

Ahem

Come and join the Fleshwarping department, where you can learn to better yourself at the expense of others. We "promise" you will not be harvested for organs.

There, put that in the flier. And put a picture of me in it with my best smile, I'll send a copy of the picture. Sure to wheel in the sexually frustrated boys and the girls who are already pretty but want to try and be prettier.

>>52657012
...Uh. You might want to get that printed up NOW, considering we're in the middle of recruitment.

>>52656997
Yeah, seems the type.

>>52657062
I already sent the picture, now whoever is in charge of the fliers better put it in, or I will make their life very uncomfortable.

>>52656995
Well, they start later to tell the truth.
The rest of the guild starts whenever they damn please and so last time they started the academic year the Oozemancy Department was already in it's first semester of the year.

Though recruitment happens at anytime.
So if anyone wishes to learn how to summon, shape, command, and create oozes, sign up for the Oozemancy Department today!
First Semester starts late summer and-or early fall!

>>52657062
How goes the meeting for you, Sam?

>>52657103
So far one recruit. Might get more.

>>52657101
Well all I know is that it isn't me.

>>52656995

Oh yes. Spring cleaning. Who could forget that? When dusting turns to chasing 5 legged horrorpedes from the rafters, I can imagine the funds are plentiful.

I wonder if I should recruit. I'm only technically a head, but most people are more interested in general ectomancy.

>>52657012
Not bad. Maybe talk about some of the creatures you've made?
>>52657103
...Maybe someone should put some concrete rules down.
>>52657128
You're a specialist. Try seeing if any existing Ectomancers want to go niche.

>>52657167
Meh, that will only attract the unattractive lonely women who consider their pets to be their children. I prefer to leave that recruitment until after the semester has begun so that I can get the parts I want without scaring away too many students.

>>52657126
Good to hear.
How promising is the recruit?

>>52657167
If there were concrete rules people would go out of their way to break them.

>>52657204
...Do the parts come from the students?
>>52657247
Oh right. Forgot that.
How did last year's students do?

>>52657284
... No.

>>52657305
Whats scaring them away then?

>>52657312
A lack of commitment to furthering their own education.

>>52657305

So ahhh I've always wondered what it would take to make me a bit taller. Not like a giant but like something over five foot might be a start.

>>52656969
Necromancy is totally fine here; in fact it is one of the biggest departments. As long as you don't practice on other students or cause too much trouble you'll be absolutely fine.

>>52657343
I have potions that can do that. Do you want it to be temporary or permanent? Dosage will be determined upon your arrival.

>>52657343
Lets see... Longer leg bones, a bit of muscle, and some skin and we should be able to do it easily.

Or, alternatively, I could just attach your upper torso to a completely different lower body. Really depends on what you want to keep.

>>52657284
Hm... well the First Year students still have classes. Most of the ones that remained after the others were discharged stayed, except for two. And most of them except one will graduate. The one that won't just has a problem with missing too many classes.
She'll probably be moved to a new private tutoring program.

>>52657382
Oh hey Mortimer, how's your sist-
>reads his name tag.
...Why did they make you the head of the department I founded?

>>52657386

Well errr I really want to keep my Dwarven strength and constitution but sometimes getting something out of the cupboards in a multi-species building ends up with me climbing the place like it's a damned jungle gym!

>>52657382
Temporary might work well. Can I schedule an appointment?

>>52657332
Too weedy to do the gorier experiments?
>>52657407
Not giving up on her just yet?
>>52657434
You've been absent. There's like 10 Alchemy heads now.
And about 2 Morts.
Thats not the Mort you're thinking of. The other Mort serves coffee.

>>52657461
One, I am advised by my lawyer to not discuss my classes too much. Two, I can barely remember who half of you people are. Living for over 10,000 years has that effect.

>>52657461
Of course not, she's a very hard worker.
Her only problem is managing her time.

>>52657167

Maybe. I suppose we'll see. Perhaps I can snag some advanced students at some point because I've seen enough rookies try to use my magic already to trust recruits.

>>52657434
She's doing quite well and wound up getting married to a noble. The council deemed that I was more capable of dealing with disputes within the guild and with outside entities. I believe that they also said that I was a better representation of the department as a whole.

>>52657516
Noted.
>>52657556
Well that's nice. How does Oozemancy get graded anyway?
Mostly projects? Assignments? Tests? Little of all three?
>>52657577
A very large amount of Ectomancers are pretty salty about getting absorbed into Necromancy. Then again, a lot of them have settled right in.
Maybe ask around.

>>52657447
I have no urgent experements for a day or two so anytime within that period is O.K, how about you come down to the main lab in an hour.

>>52657581
I was married to the first alchemist, I helped him develop most of the foundations of alchemy still used to this day, I think I am more then a good representative of the department. Also, what council? Since when did we get a council?

>>52657611
Performances and assignments.

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Uh oh, I think I entered the wrong key when I teleported. Where am I...

>>52657673
Performances?
Care to give an example? Forgive the poor guess but, dancing Oozes?
>>52657689
The Mages Guild.
Care to join a department?

>>52657611

Well to be fair, ectomancy had roots in necromancy because the energy used is traditionally collected from the dead.

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>>52657689
Aen Mages Guild. Though if I could check your teleportation key I may be able to help you out.

>>52657744
Oh my god, you're still here? I thought you would have found a way home by now.

>>52657629

Shouldn't be a problem, as long as we finish before the Drake Wrestling. I've got quite a few gold pieces riding on me.

>>52657648
Yes I agree that you are a very important figure of Alchemy, however, your recent achievements have not been as significant lately, and you have become somewhat reclusive. We've had a council for a while know six or seven years now I believe.

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>POOF
>Suddenly this gnome falls out of thin air
>She looks around, spots Erevar and and says, "Master, I think the keys we got were forgeries..."

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>>52657712
No, being able to perform a spell properly.

>>52657689
>>52657791
Two new people?
>asks a 7' 5" Sea-Elf

>>52657791
Agreed, I was about to ask this woman >>52657744 about them. We were supposed to end up in Suldanessellar...
>offers the teleportation keys to anyone who can help

>>52657813
@_@ ma ma master...
>tugs at Erevar's coat

>>52657771
I have found a way back. But all things considered here is a much better place.

I even brought my parents back.

>>52657791
>>52657816
>Diana inspects the keys, frowning.
Someone has sold you a load of whooey. Surprised you managed to even get off-plane with it. Whereabouts did you come from?

>>52657834
>glances at Juno
Well, a plane called "Toril"
Were... not on Toril?

>>52657713
...Alright i'm a simple man. But isn't necromancy re-animation, whereas Ectomancy is just storage and use of ghosts?
The ghosts are already there so to speak.
>>52657813
My mistake. What kind of spells?

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AIGHT SO WHICH ONE OF YOU ORDERED TWENTY VIRGIN HOS

THEY'RE SECONDHAND VIRGINS SO UNDERSTAND YOU MAY BE BREAKIN' THEY HYMEN BUT IT AIN'T THEIR THE FIRST TIME

>>52657773
What kind of drake is it? I might want to get some regents from it.
>>52657689
>>52657791
*the security system sound a warning that dimensional intruders have entered the guild* Who are you and what is your buisness here?

>crawls under Erevar's coat

>>52657865
>frowns and points a wand at Mortimer from under the edge of the leather coat
>even a novice could tell it's a "wand of create pastry" that's out of charges

>>52657854
>>52657866
'Fraid not.

>>52657865
Easy Mort. I got this.
>She taps something on her lapel.

>>52657786
Oh yeah, those eggheads. I regularly threatened them when they tried to replace me. Seems my year long vacation to kill my divine children made me forget to send them reminders...

I'm going to have a chat with them later about this.

>>52657834
Oh god, and you brought your parents too. What, couldn't sleep without them tucking you in?

>>52657854
No we're on Aen. Everyone here is more then likely related to me in some way through some different body, so essentially everything is mine. So don't break anything.

>>52657862
Depends, how young are they? that might be me, I'm in need of some new parts.

>>52657858
Oozemancy spells?

>>52657862
...I'm unsure if this is a prank order or if someone actually ordered them.
Both are undesirable.

>>52657908
THEY ONLY TWO DAYS OLD IN THIS DIMENSION MOTHERFUCKER, HOW YOUNG YOU WANT EM

>>52657865
A Red Youngling they captured from the mountains up north. Don't know too much else, outside of the fact that a bunch of drunk initiates plan on wrestling it.

>>52657886
>>52657854
Hey welcome to the plane folks. Want a pint on me?
>produces the small keg again

>>52657891
Uh oh. I think we're gonna miss our appointment.
>grabs the wand from the gnome
>looks at Diana
Would it be possible to rent a room here in the guild? I can prepare a spell that can take us back home, but it will take some time. Perhaps we could exchange some lore once we're settled? I could share a wonder cantrip that can ferment any liquid instantly... it's a big hit at parties
>takes another wand from the gnome

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>>52657816

>Ellen reaches out to inspect one of the keys

>>52657834
I agree. They're junk.
>she flips the one over and shows the inscribed rune
Looks like it held some sort of imbued ink for a one time show outta town.

>>52657858

Necromancy is manipulation of death energy and ectomancy is spiritual energy. Keep in mind this is extremely vague and simple. There is a lot of crossover.

>>52655018
>The man in the preposterously tall hat with the superfluously lengthy beard returns, carrying his Raccoon familiar under his arm.
I hope I'm not too late to try and lure somebody into trying to do all schools at once. It is a lot more fun than people think it is! I mean, I made a necro-tiger that spews weird universal-truth shit in another language!
I always show up late.

>is about to produce a third wand, but changes her mind

>>52657886
*gives you a confused look*
>>52657891
Ok, I was not trying to be overtly confrontational.

>>52657908
They don't deserve to be in that hellhole any more than I did. So I saved what I knew could be saved.

And to your question, no. I have my husband for that.

>>52657938
Rent a room, I don't think so. But you two can join on a probationary basis, it'll get you a room and access to most of the stores of material components.

That being said, in all likelyhood it's going to be me that signs off on any trans-dimensional portals. So it may take a while.

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What is happening?

>>52657908
>>52657979
...What's this about parents?

>>52657979
>Rent a room, I don't think so. But you two can join on a probationary basis, it'll get you a room and access to most of the stores of material components.
That sounds fine. Can you accept the gnome as payment?
>tries not to laugh

>>52657922
Yeah, what kind?
>>52657943
Huh, alright. Thanks.
Still, what are you going to do if you do get a bunch of students?
The fifth-floor closet isn't too large.
>>52657962
That's impressive. And no, plenty of time left in this meeting.
How have you been?

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>>52657998
>hfw

>>52657930
Ooh a Red ... very good. Tell me when you're done with it.

>>52657928
How old are they in the dimension their from? I need Young adult parts, not fucking baby parts.

>>52657938
Interesting... You ever heard of vivisection?

>>52657979
well as long as you don't drag your problems into this dimension, then fine. I have enough to deal with as it is without some new variable to consider.

>>52657998
Hell no. I can't use gnome parts.

>>52657998
>>52658018
What is the name of the world or dimension you two come from?

>>52657993
>Walks over and gives you a light hug
Hey boo.

>>52658013
Whatever the performance test requires.
Usually what they learned in the past week or two.

>>52658026
>Interesting... You ever heard of vivisection?
Ah, well, I'm more into incineration

>>52657993
Nothing, nothing...

>>52658026
Oh no. Anything that's trouble I made sure to leave there.

>>52657998
>>52658018
There's no rent payment, only a standard defense-of-realm contract. If someone's dumb enough to attack you agree to help us be rid of them.

We haven't needed to invoke it in a while, but it's there.

>>52658031
>Giggles at the hug
Really? Boo?
>Boops him

>>52658054
Ah, well...

>>52658031
>What is the name of the world or dimension you two come from?
A plane called Toril. It has a number of curiosities, so many I haven't found the time to get off plane much...

>>52658054
>There's no rent payment, only a standard defense-of-realm contract. If someone's dumb enough to attack you agree to help us be rid of them.
Excellent, I'd be happy to help. I keep a variety of offensive spells memorized at all times. And my gnome friend is quite offensive as well...

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AIGHT I AINT GOT ALL DAY EITHER THESE MAGIC CHERRY SLUTS ARE TURNIN WIZARD TRICKS OR HITTIN THE MAGIC BRICKS, WHICH IS IT

>>52658026
THIS AINT NO MEAT PACKIN SERVICE, I AINT PLAY THAT

WASTE A MY FUCKIN TIME

BITCHES, I DISMISS YOU

YON BITCHES, GET YE GONE

GET YE GONE, BACK TO THE RIFT BETWEEN WORLDS N SHIT

cracker ass warlocks

>>52658013
Thank you, I do my best, even though I'm not the best at anything in particular. I have been fine, just a little worried about if we're going to have to deal with another familiars' strike.

Also, there were these three chunks of land we'd blown to bits, and after pumping some regrowth magic- courtesy of some druids, not me- I dumped a metric shit tonne of arcane energy into the area, and watched the wildlife's development. I remember seeing the oddest things there.

>>52658037
So is that a yes or no, because I want to see how differently you were designed from the meat bags on this plane.

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>>52658079
>And my gnome friend is quite offensive as well...
>hfw

>>52658085
>crawls out from under the coat
>points want at this guy
>POOF
>a pastry appears at his feet
>"Hmm... I was sure this was the disint... nevermind..."

>>52658066
Yeah, thought I'd give it a try.

>>52658079
Hm... can you tell of you've simply changed planes or if you've changed universes?

>>52658089
I wouldn't worry about the familiars for now.
What did you see Grim?

>>52658013

You're right. I might have to commandeer another room. Perhaps an apprentice would be better, though I am unsure what I'd do with an influx of students.

>>52658090
No thank you... I am inclined to keep my sections, non-vivied... hmm

>>52658140
>Hm... can you tell of you've simply changed planes or if you've changed universes?
Oh no. I'm not sure about that. How could that happen. uh oh...
>fishes in his scroll case for a map of the multiverse

>>52658140
It's cute, but I haven't heard anyone call anyone that if they weren't a child.

>>52658089
>>52658123
One thing that she neglected to mention but I will is that if a situation occurs that is related to you or is your fault the guild is not required to help you with it although members might help you if they want to.

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>>52658162
>walks over and extends hand
Hey there, name's Nu'udro. You seem like an interesting lass. Care for a pint?

>>52658188
I tend to be the one getting people out of trouble
>glances at gnome
So I can accept that

... I suppose I could try and wish myself home... that feels like it could be a disaster though...

>>52658163
Yeah.
Or right multiverse even.

>>52658180
>He shrugs
It's a newer thing I hear.
What brings you to the meeting?

>>52658151
Boars with human hands. I mean that in the most literal sense-- they were otherwise just boars, but they had people hands. Made horrifying slapping noises when they charged at me. Also saw some dragon deer, watched a couple explode as they tried to butt heads. Managed to collect a specimen from an odd species of squirrel that has a beak instead of buck teeth, and is a rather unsettling green color. There's quite a bit more, but I'd prefer if others went to see for themselves-- that was just the temperate forest, the most mundane area that got pumped full.

>>52658188
I know this, I was present at the last meeting about such damages. It was during that meeting that I decided to "fix" those problematic areas we may or may not have blown up.

>>52658163
Oh please tell me you didn't bring any of your gods here. I have enough of them to kill already, thank you.

Autism

>>52658221
Wait, hold up.

You killed Gods? Tell me more.

>>52658079
>>52658123
Well then let's get you two signed up.
>She procures two of the many application forms laying around and hands them each one.

Name, race, magic specialties if known, any other physical data you feel it necessary to include, dietary or religious restrictions, if you want to audit with a department there's the check boxes on the back.

>>52658213
I would very much reccomend against that.

>>52658162
Well, the fifth floor is rather empty in some places.
You could probably commandeer as much as you like up there.
>>52658216
So, would you consider the experiment a success?

>>52658215
It's a meeting, might as well, right?

Though, of course, I've already got enough kids under my roof, and tutelage.

>>52658238
I got to see what it did, so yes, I would suppose it was. It ought to be entertaining to watch druids try to deal with it all.

>>52658216
Interesting, I'll need to send my hunter there to collect samples so I can see if any of them can be useful.

>>52658231
Not yet, those spoiled brats refuse to let me kill them so that I may regain my perfection. They always just want to talk instead of letting me kill them.

>>52658266
What are your plans? What are your methods? Who's first? Can I help?

>>52658254
Thats what they get for being druids.
So, quick question. What do you think would happen if you were to try the same experiment again, but on the ocean floor?

>>52658216
Is the wildlife back and the forest regrown?
How are the Druid dealing with the aftermath?

>>52658286
Oh no, I'm not falling for it. You're after my perfection too. Well to bad, because I'm not sharing it.

>>52658231
>Name, race, magic specialties if known, any other physical data you feel it necessary to include, dietary or religious restrictions, if you want to audit with a department there's the check boxes on the back.

Writes in:
>Erevar Tanthel, evoker 17 seasons, allergic to bee stings, I'd be happy to share my knowledge with anyone curious
>Juno Oofala, wild mage, 8 seasons, allergic to responsibility, potently dangerous

>>52658307
What? Good Gods man I'm just trying to divine your method of such power that we can kill the unkillable. I want aboard this wagon if for nothing else then to witness history.

>>52658314
>>52658237
Wrong Post

>>52658292
I feel like, depending on the temperature of the water, we might see the most diverse explosion of flora and fauna development ever. Or we could awaken an ancient seabeast. Or maybe even make one, who knows?

>>52658293
The wildlife is back, and is currently undergoing some odd changes. Unnatural selection, I guess. The Druids don't seem to find too much issue with anything other than the exploding deer.

>>52658200

Sorry master dwarf, the dead have a difficult time enjoying a fine a drink.

>>52658238

Definitely, though as it's been said, the 5th floor is basically a raised dungeon. Who'd want to to take a class up there?

>>52658323
Well too bad, because once I succeed, there will be no more history. No future either. I honestly could care less about the mortal planes, you all are just a project started by my damn kids that I have no intention of continuing.

>>52658362
Hmmmm, alright well what brings you enjoyment postmortem then?

Well it turns out I wasn't a dark wizard after all. I was just a cleric. All the dark rituals I had to perform should have been a dead giveaway. Well anyway since the dark lord I was worshipping is dead I've got no spells whatsoever. Are sign-ups still available?

>>52658314
>Diana collects the forms and puts them in a folder.

Right then. Welcome to the guild, your new home until you manage to create a portal that we deem acceptable.

The archives should be opening up soon-ish if you want to stretch your legs or get to know some of the others.
A link will go up that directs to the archival site we use to play between threads. Feel free to join us!

>>52658407
Thank you!

>>52658350
Ok, good they won't attack the guild for a while now, even if we do something else.
>>52658378
You do know that the universe can function without gods right?

>>52658240
Yeah, anymore you'd need to find an actual classroom to teach in.

>>52658403
Yep!
Want to become an oozemancer?

>>52658350
The seabeast is never good.
Maybe try a lake then?
>>52658362
Lets be honest here, the fifth floor is a safer working environment than the necromancy department.

>>52658424
Not if I have anything to do with it. Your constant prayers would just ruin my nonexistent time which would be better used basking in my own perfection.

>>52658424
As if they'd ever be an issue anyway? Bunch of hippies, the lot of them. Never had an honest day of study in their life.

>>52658474
Well, then we might get a lakebeast. I must say, lakebeasts are much easier to contain. Ought to be fun!

>>52658482
You could make it so that nobody remembers that Gods even existed.

>>52658500
The issue is that it could be distracting us from a real threat.

>>52658391

Enjoyment? Let's see. I enjoy walking the walls of the guild. There are so many candid moments of life that one doesn't get to experience once life has left them.

>>52658474

That may be true, actually. Perhaps I've merely grown accustomed to the necromancy department.

>>52658500
I like that thought!
...Maybe start with a river beast?
>>52658532
Helps the edgy buggers can't murder you twice.

>>52658503
Don't tell me how to run my existence, mortal. Technically, this plane was a part of my former perfection as well, so it's all gotta go.

>>52658458
Sounds quite tempting and I'm quite sure my experience controlling vast amounts of tapioca will do wonders. It is like controlling tapioca right?

>>52658437
>Giggles

Wouldn't that be a sight to see, me, teaching people how to make magic clothes.

>>52658521
Every threat's a real threat, even the fake ones. Probably. Maybe.

>>52658553
River beast? I suppose we could, but then it might float down-river and it'll still end up at a lake at some point.

>>52658610
But it would be smaller, then if it were a problem, the lake beasts would just eat it.

>>52658417
It's no problem Erevar. It's what we're here for.

>>52658557
Please do not destroy the plane I am in.

>>52658638
>>52658610
Wouldn't the best way to deal with a lake beast be an ocean beast then?

>>52658638
Ah, a win/win situation if I've ever seen one. I vote we go for the biggest river in the thickest jungle we can find.

>>52658559
Hm... possibly, never controlled tapioca though.
But how about this?
>Glug summons a sickly green, purple, and black ooze with spiked tentacles
>He then summons glowing golden ooze that quickly crystallizes into armor around him
These are some of the things you can learn to do with oozemancy.

>>52658575
Well, you already do so, but only to a minute amount of people.

>>52658673
Exactly lad.
Can you see where this is going?
>>52658676
Grab the map! Its time for progress!

>>52658673
No, it would be a sea beast, which would then be taken care of by an ocean beast. You're lucky you dealt with the tapioca situation, or else I'd think you a simpleton.

>>52658702
Progress!
>He pulled a map from his hat, and handed it to his raccoon familiar, which mumbled something in a dead language before putting on a small safari back-pack the wizard also pulled from his hat. Then, a small Pith helmet was placed upon his head.
We go... South, I think?

>>52658696
I mean, that is true...

>>52658733
For large rivers and jungle?
Nah, there's a huge ring-shaped island north of the continent though. Could use that.

>>52658660
No promises.

>>52658660
I am not good at dimensional travel but with some help I can probably adapt the security system to transport the guild

>>52658553

Perhaps, though murder in the necromancy department is hardly a permanent thing.

>>52658733
No of course not. I'm not an idiot who dropped out of school to work on his dark magic book. That would be silly. But let me pretend I am that simple for the sake of everyone here. What would we do with the ocean beast after it killed the sea beast?

>>52658696
But can I animate it to create gelatinous piles of sin against god, that I can then sell as pets for the kids?

>>52658762
That sounds quite fine.
>He made a circular motion with a finger, and his Raccoon turned around.
Much better.

>>52658791
Well, that's a bridge we burn when we get there, simpletontington.

>>52658748
>The necromantic ooze with spiked tentacles waves it's tentacles around, but does not harm anyone
...

>>52658748
You'll probably want to stick to the few students you have, right?

>>52658787
Yes but it's not quite the same as being alive.
>>52658809
Good luck, I can't wait to hear the results.

>>52658773
But my parents live on this plane too!

>>52658768
...
>Horrified expression

>>52658826
Yeah.

>>52658829

True. Unlife is indeed a very different experience compared to life, though death is a reversible process without resorting to unlife. Obviously, a fresh corpse has a much higher success rate.

>>52658532
Well lass if ya ever want to go for a walk down the halls, I'd be more than willing to accompany ya. Sounds like ya have plenty of tales to tell along the way.

>>52658829
Odds are that every creature with the ability to hear will be able to hear the results once I'm done. They tend to be rather loud.
>The raccoon had already started walking out of the room, carrying the supplies for the wizard's voyage. The wizard, then, turned around and began following.
Lead the way, Anselmo!

>>52658861
See, this is all way out of my league.
Maybe you'd be pretty good with a class of students.

What, people are still in here?
The meetings over, everyone out! The Archives are open if you want to keep chatting. We have to clean the place.

>The Janitors point to the Archives.
>Normal link: https://archived.moe/rp/thread/840/
>Mobile link: https://archived.moe/rp/last/20/840/

>>52658839
So then get them here if you want to.