How do you a neutronium golem again, /tg/?

I mean I guess construct slaying arrows could do it in?

>>52571040
I'm a highly advanced erp fantasy setting, Viagra and potions of invulnerability are one and the same.

>>52571128
>Viagra and potions of invulnerability are one and the same.
That is a pretty liberal interpretation of 'rigid'

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>>52571040
Well, first you need to be able to survive its gravitic aura, which means a DC 461 save against death and losing 10% of your hp every round.

Then you need to be able to survive its heat aura, which means 62d1000 damage per round.

You also need to make DC 461 Strength checks to be able to move away again every time you touch it.

>>52571260
What if I just shoot it from afar.

>>52571040
That looks more like a Maple Syrup Golem to me.

>>52571285
Do you have a weapon with a range greater than 600 miles, and can you move faster than 5,901,426,338 ft. per round?

>>52571414
Shouldn't it travel endlessly in the vacuum?

Can't I hide from the golem in the vast emptiness of space with some kind of camouflage spell or cloak or whatever?

Just park my ass right outside it's aura and sit there hidden and shoot arrows at it.

>>52571414
>>52571468
Make that 1000 miles, it can x-ray pulse everything in 1000 miles to death as a free action. I don't think anyone resists 125d1000 divine fire damage.

Also Magnetar means the second you get a hit it locks on and can follow you anywhere in all of existence without losing track of your location.

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I cast disintegrate

>>52571512
Immunity to Magic (Ex): A neutronium golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance.

>>52571506
So I just get 100000 peasants and make them fire slay construct bolts at the golem?

>>52571224
Well, if it lets me a neutronium QT...

>>52571260
>One use of ego whip from a level 3 psion defeats it.

What a joke.

>>52571570
How will the peasants survive its various miles-wide killing auras while getting within range of their bows?

>>52571724
The arrows travel through space infinitely and in fact the golem attracts them.

>>52571781
You're vastly overestimating the peasants' ability to aim while in a zero-gravity vacuum at a target at least 600 miles away. The arrows would scatter so far from each other that a 600-foot gravity well probably wouldn't even attract one of them.

Also, the heat aura may well destroy the arrows' magic before they reach it.

>>52571628
Mind-affecting powers don't work on creatures with less than 1 INT.

>>52571724
1)have them on your spelljammer ship
2)All they need is to aim in the rough direction of it. The arrows will fly and get attracted.

>>52571884
If it doesn't say it negates projectiles then it doesn't negate projectiles, such is the rules of de an de.

>>52571260
>DC 461 save
>62d1000 damage per round
>125d1000 divine fire damage
Well I think we'll need the literal Pun-Pun, pretty much.

>>52571260
...but can you fuck it?

Has anyone said dick yet?

>>52571927
>less than 1 INT
So you're saying she's a bimbo then?

>>52572824
Pun-Pun can.

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>>52571040
But that's a lava golem

>>52571989
Not everything's going to be covered by rules in that kind of detail. When something deals fire damage, it doesn't list all the objects that can be destroyed by fire damage. A DM can (snd should) rule that an arrow traveling through a normal fire on its way to a normal target 60 feet away isn't affected because it didn't spend enough time in there and was moving too fast. However, an arrow spending hours traveling 600 miles through increasingly epic levels of fire damage is a different story altogether. That shit will fucking vaporize.

>>52573268
You're a lava golem.

>>52571040
>Due to beta (β−) decay of mononeutron and extreme instability of aforementioned heavier "isotopes", degenerate neutronium is not expected to be stable under ordinary pressures. Free neutrons decay with a half-life of 10 minutes, 11 seconds. A teaspoon of degenerate neutronium gas would have a mass of two billion tonnes, and if moved to standard temperature and pressure, would emit 57 billion joules of β− decay energy in the first half-life (average of 95 MW of power).

Under immense pressure.

>>52573416
Then just shoot it with asbestos construct slaying arrows. How does temp translate to fire damage anyway?

>>52573587
>how does being hot enough to combust lead have anything to do with fire damage

Aside from that, by its stat block, it has an aura of divine fire damage.

>>52573416
Magic items tend to resist damage. Often, they can only be destroyed in one or two very specific ways (Not including disjunctions or strong dispells).

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>>52573268

>>52573685
No I mean, how can we figure out how much fire damage over time can material take.

>>52573804
Since this is 3.5, there's a table for the hardness, HP, and AC of various materials. You could figure out exactly how much damage it would take to break a magic arrow.

>>52573416
No, no, he's on the right track here. There are certain enchantments that can make your gear near indestructible, and if you pile one of the higher level versions of that on top of the golem slaying enchantment and make the arrows out adamantine, they should in theory survive to hit their target.

You could also remove human error from the problem by using golems with sophisticated targeting programing instead of peasants.

This is starting to look quite expensive, by the way. What type of spelljammer gives you the best ratio of deck space to cost? Could you save money by using ballista bolts instead of arrows? We must calculate this.

>>52573700
You're thinking of artifacts. A Greater Slaying Arrow isn't an artifact, just a regular magic item. Its bonus on saving throws is +8, and it takes damage normally from attacks and other effects that don't allow saving throws. Its head has a hardness of 10 and about 30 HP. Its shaft has a hardness of 5 and less than 5 HP.

>>52573918
Let's assume you've got arrows with epic-level protection from fire damage, including divine fire damage, coming at the golem. Let's even assume that they can aim at a 1200-foot-wide target 600 miles away that they can't see (since it moves faster than light.) The golem doesn't constantly attract everything around it. Gravitic Mastery says that it has absolute control over the strength and direction of its own gravity well, so it can send those arrows right back. Even if it waits until the arrows come within range of its 60-foot (!) darkvision, that's more than enough time to stop them in their tracks or simply move out of the way, because, as I've mentioned, it moves faster than light.

>>52574102
But can it detect the arrows?

>>52574102
>Let's even assume that they can aim at a 1200-foot-wide target 600 miles away that they can't see (since it moves faster than light.)

I'll admit there are a few flaws in the plan. It kind of assumes the target to be stationary and that you somehow snuck several hundred spelljammers in its vicinity while it was looking the other way.

>>52574102
The golem can send back all the arrows it wants, on its own turn. Same for the aura.
And aren't arrows supposed to hit within the same turn you launched them?
So it can't do shit to the arrows. Distance, apparently, doesn't matter, too.

>>52574114
I don't see why it couldn't, since it never sleeps. When it stays still long enough to be aimed at with arrows, presumably it makes a point of remaining aware of its surroundings. A mass of arrows traveling from 600 miles away would be visible long before they arrived (that's assuming the golem is staying in one place for the full duration. If it isn't, it will simply never be hit with arrows.) It probably also keeps its gravity off or in reverse when it's busy doing something.

>>52574102
>darkvision
That's not blindvision. We need merely to enchant the arrows to be invisible. It will never see them coming.

>>52574255
Arrows usually hit on the same turn you shoot them in D&D because they're usually traveling 600 feet or less. If you shoot an arrow into space away from any star or planet, it just keeps going forward at the usual velocity of an arrow until a force acts on it. It doesn't reach warp 10 and have a bunch of lizard babies with Janeway.

A really nasty compound bow can shoot an arrow at an initial velocity of 400 feet per second, so 2400 feet per round. That arrow will need 320 rounds, or 132 minutes, to travel 600 miles.

>>52574255
>Distance, apparently, doesn't matter, too.
If you want to be absolutely sure, the Distant Shot enchantment allows you to attack any enemy in visible range (which the light given off by a stationary neutronium golem in space should easily be within) with no penalty for the mere cost of 720,000 extra gp per archer-golem.

>>52574438
>>52574299
This plan requires a way to keep the golem distracted and perfectly motionless for at least 132 minutes with your zero-gravity archery platform just outside the range of its heat aura and also concealing your massive army of epic-level archers who even have a chance of making the shot.

So now the question is, how to you entertain the strongest golem ever made for over two hours?

>>52574535
Ya gotta fuck it

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>>52574346
>It doesn't reach warp 10 and have a bunch of lizard babies with Janeway.

>>52574535
I set up another archery platform in such a way that when the golem moves to dodge the volley from the first platform it puts itself in the way of the second volley.

>>52574438
Actually, lets tack the Seeking enchantment on there as well, which prevents any ranged weapon from missing the target as long as it's in range, and for some fucking reason only adds +1 to the price category. So that comes to 980,000 gp per archer for the bow alone.

>>52574948
I think you misunderstand how the seeking enchantment works. That doesn't make arrows automatically hit, it just negates miss chance you get for not being able to see someone if you shoot into the correct square, as opposed to having a 50% miss chance.

>>52574535
It has no intelligence and only average wisdom. We could probably trick it into being locked in combat with a completely illusory enemy for quite awhile.

So you just need to hire an illusionist powerful enough to create dynamic phantasms from over 600 miles away.

>>52572884
I like where this is going.

>get bard
>put a construct slaying arrow into his urethra
>tell him to go screw the golem
>golem, being a bimbo, suspends the gravity field for the bard
>dead golem

>>52574990
Ah, looking back, you're right. Well that makes a lot more sense. Less expensive bows it is then

>>52574944
If it takes a move action it'll be over 100,000 miles away, with no way to know for sure what direction it'll go in.

>>52575121
Because its bonus to saves is astronomically high, you need to stuff that urethra with so many slaying arrows that it will probably roll a natural 1 on one of its saves.

>>52575046
Or an illisionist who can mind control a golem that can get closer to the target golem.

>>52576545
Golems are immune to any spell that allows SR. So, effectively any spell that targets it in any way.

>>52571781
>What is Gravitic Mastery?
>I'll take Reading Comprehension for 500, Alex

>>52573416
>reee my retarded power wank no one will ever use can't be killed in any way! i said any! reeee!

>>52571260
>an earth-sized planet has 120k hp
Bullshit. Why the hell it isn't destroyed yet by thousands of years of mining, when each strike of a miner deals 1d4+Str mod damage?

>>52577367
That's a good point. Do planets regenerate HP?

>>52571040

With two neutronium golems, of course.

>>52571260
Why does it still have Dex 9 and Cha 1?

>>52578078
Because the rest of it's statblock is complete bullshit, why shouldn't they be too?

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>>52571260
You are like little baby

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>>52578352
>Who wields a Nexus Dragon like a whip

>>52578421
I think we can all aspire to be like Gargillian

>>52573268
This kills the Kouji.

>>52574102
>1200-foot-wide
It is still fits in a 10 foot cube.

>>52571260
>>52578352

I wish there was a system that actually supported the bullshit high power level Immortal's Handbook showed off.

I want to punch the Elemental Plane of Fire, make a sword out of planets, fight weird alternate dimension versions of myself, and smack down monsters like these.

Unfortunately while you would need weapon's grade autism to actually run this using it's weird bastardized version of 3.5, the big numbers and retardedly lethal abilities are part of the fun.

>>52578843
Why, what did the Elemental Plane of Fire ever do to you?

>>52578976
It knows what it did.

>>52577439
Well plate tectonics would work like geologic scale regeneration, I suppose.

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>>52578352
>Prey on the laws of physics
>Fight from within a serpent that encompasses reality
>Who wields a Nexus Dragon like a whip
>Exist outside laws of probability, still gains a luck bonus

>>52579029
Some sort of sick burn perhaps?

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>>52580748
Dude it's not funny, he can't get it out and has not been able to sit down or 5 days.

>>52577439
They have very high hardness.

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>>52573268

>>52571526
That reminds me of an interesting fact.
Although there may be some errata change I'm not aware of, as written in the book the dragon bone golem has immunity to magic, not just any spells that require spell resistance.

Seems like something that could be useful for anyone with powerful magical enemies.

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>>52578352
don't worry guys, I got this

>>52583002
The Undersword is supposed to be Stormbringer?

Do you think Halaster would be interested in getting the golem or the dragon?

>>52578352
>Dex 10
Fuckin' dragons, man.

>>52577367
You know when your AC beats out an enemy attack and the DM explains it as their blow just barely glancing off your armor?

>>52577367
Damage thresholds should exist for literally every item above a table and many higher CR monsters. If you can't deal more than at least 1000 damage in a round to it, you don't do diddly.

Okay, so far things that can kill it are:
>arrows of slaying
>ego whip

>>52583002

>This example uses a 117th-level human vampire fighter as the character.

Do level numbers even mean anything anymore? It just looks like they're making up the most arbitrary shit.

>>52587217
Having briefly played at epic levels, I can confirm that no, the numbers increasingly don't matter. What matters is finding all the bullshit that allows for no saves and/or throwing so much shit at someone that they roll a natural 1 on their save.

>>52577296
If you play the game of power wank, you need to work with both the rules and the rulings your DM is likely to make (in this case the rule that magic arrows can be destroyed and the likely ruling that an arrow doesn't travel 600 miles with infinite velocity.)