>The kingdom is invaded by a new religious cult >The cultists

If the king cared about every annoying idiot on the street then the prisons would be full to bursting, at least these ones are polite and non-murderous for cultits

Why doesn't the king just revoke their tax-exempt status? What does he think a Lvl 3 bard can do about it that he can't?

>>52347083
>They also believe in easily disproven nonsense
Those aren't Mormons, bud, but they're still absolute heretical whackjobs.

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>>52347127
>at least these ones are polite and non-murderous for cultits

Yeah, I'll take the polite cultists over the bloodthirsty cultists any day.

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Have a free reaction image.

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Rolled 7 (1d20)

Rolling to convince OP to try new things instead of repeating old things

>>52347167
Those cultists don't look bloodthirsty.

>>52347083
>Look, mom, I posted it again!

>>52347083
What do you have against the Mormons OP?

>>52347167

The collapse of civilization is always heralded by the cheering of women.

>>52347430
>OP shrugs slightly
>Resigns himself to continue posting again tomorrow

>>52347083
I dont... you need to add something to this. Like, "what does your party do?"
Then its a thread asking questions and inviting reply, not just shitposting.

My party starts to kill them left and right. The king gave us permission and they obviously aren't gonna fight back. Easy payday.

>>52347083
>Hey I hear its funny that these guys knock on doors
>Lol let's totally overuse that joke but make it slightly related to the board

Feck off ye wanker, I met many a mormon and they all are nice lads and lassies who like to make people smile.

>>52347083
give them jobs in the civil service.
they want to help and aren't corrupt. Just keep them away from military shit.

>>52347083
I've seen alot of Mormon threads on 4chan lately. Is there some sort of Mormon shilling force that we haven't heard of? Is this the new JIDF?

>>52351442
No, it's just one guy (Evan McMullin) shitposting about his religion. He's still salty he didn't win Utah.

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>>52347083
We've got a petition to remove these people. Would you like to sign it?

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>>52347083
>you will never be able to make yourself believe mormon bs and have multiple wives

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>Visited my mormons
>Greet them cause I'm not a jerk
>Stand through their shtick
>"Are you religious at all, sir?"
>"Oh, I was. But, uh, some stuff happened and I'm not supposed to talk about it."
>Awkward silence as I glance to floor while rubbing the back of my head.
>They always leave in a hurry

Fuckin flawless

>>52351654
I don't understand what you implied to them

>>52351711
A priest touched his no-no places.

>>52351711

That's for them to come up with.

When bad shit goes down with western religions, what do you think happens?

>>52351711
he got molested

>>52351654
I'm stealing this

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>>52351735
The Thirty Years War?

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>>52351595
Underrated post

Also I'm disappointed no other konosuba Cult of aqua in thread yet

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>>52351735

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>>52351875

>"So, what happened sir?"
>"Heretics, Jimmy. Heretics and Saracens."

>>52351797
We usually don't demonstrate.
But when we demonstrate, we defenestrate.

>>52347430
>>52350097
Yeah, I was about to say. Not a really deep thread, but making multiple of these? Why? I can't imagine it got a lot of responses before.

Is it because they're an easy target that dont fight back? Something lame here.

>>52351654
If I had met you on my mission I would have just gone through the repentance process. I dont really have to know what you did as long as I can help you feel better about it and move on.

>>52351797
enough with this husshite

>>52352030
Anon is probably salty that he doesn't live in Salt Lake. Which is perfectly understandable, Mormons can be Extremely passive-aggressive towards others at times...

>>52352111
Outside of Salt Lake and in Utah, I mean.

>>52352111
Honestly, Mormons are the nicest people who believe in the WEIRDEST shit.

It's not even Christianity at all in my United Methodist mind, and even if it were it wouldn't be Protestant by any definition of the term. It's its own extremely heretical sect that, if we're going to be honest, is as much an ethnic religion as it is a religion (much like Judaism).

>>52352500
Modern day Arians, with some other stuff too.

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>>52347083
>The kingdom is ruled by a Dark lord who Studies Dark magic
>The Dark Lord new government is founded on meritocracy instead of Nobility, modernize the economy from an agricultural base to a manufacture and service base, castle towns were developed as the center and basis of local economies, And ending the Civil That Plagued His Country.
>The Rebels asks a group of Paladins to deal with the Dark lord

>>52352853
>And ending the Civil War That Plagued His Country.

>>52347083

this looks like a job for an evil party

>>52349843
Women have never been the ones doing the killing.

>>52352743
>>52352500
Speaking as one myself... yeah, pretty much. There's a mildly famous story about some minister or other talking with an LDS bishop, and to sum it up he said that "the Christ you believe in is not the same Christ that we believe in."

Oh, and it's important to make the distinction between Mormons as a religion, and Utah Mormon culture.

Go anywhere outside Utah, and the Mormons you meet are exactly as you say, nice people, weird beliefs.

Inside Utah though, specifically Utah "Mormonville" county, and it's a completely different story. If you're just Catholic or some other religion, that's all well and fine, but the moment you say you're atheist, trans, gay, smoke weed, or are pro-abortion, etc, they get passive aggressive. There's outright persecution, and then there's the subtlety of an entire culture treating you with the worst kind of passive-aggressive behavior possible.

It's even worse if you're a young LDS male who decides he doesn't want to go on a mission. People start assuming you did something wrong, or are secretly gay, and then it's even more vehement passive-aggressiveness. And all of this is specifically limited to anywhere in Utah outside of Salt Lake County.

TLDR: The religion is weird, but fine, but the bubble community inside the state is one of the worst. It's like someone transplanted the Bible Belt over here and replaced the straight up persecution with Passive Aggressiveness.

>>52347149
That seems pretty reasonable. Would there be any downsides to it?

>>52355969
Passive aggression is much easier to deal with than active persecution.

>>52358843
Well it depends, active persecution is usually some flavor of illegal so unless we're assuming institutional persecution you can fight back, but an entire community passively treating you like scum can make living there untenable and there's fuck all you can do about it.

>>52347083
We play Dogs in the Vineyard, are we gonna remove ourselves?

>>52351654
>Visited by mormons
>hi! I'm not interested in religion. Goodbye.

>>52355922
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Widow_(Chechnya)

>>52351831
Back to /a/ with your worst girl, anon.

>>52358907
How bout you try feeding those dogs before you shoot em, eh boy?

>>52358883
Yeah, that kind of sounds like what I'm going through. People treat me like the bad guy the sheriff is going to dual at high noon.

>>52347167
There was this really cute girl from Pakistan at my high school. I can't remember her name, it's been so long, but she had lovely, pale skin and a very pretty face. It's haunting me that I can't remember her name, because I keep thinking about her for some reason. I know it's hard to date second generation immigrants because of grumpy, insular families, but I'd give her a try in a heartbeat. She was absolutely gorgeous, and super nice, and she loved reading and listening to Queen.

>>52352853
Okay okay, what exactly does 'dark magic' entail here?

Are we so sure this 'dark lord' won't just hire other paladins or adventurers to stop this religious insurgency before it causes too much damage?

Are we dealing with a Dark Lord who enslaves all he surveys, raises the dead and commits ritual sacrifices to demonic gods, for power? Or are we talking a progressive tyrant who just happens to be somewhat heavy-handed and uses spells the dominant religion frowns upon, possibly due to the people they're usually associated with?

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>>52360029
But this is the perfect thread to speak about her and her followers.

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>>52347083
"Don't Worry, your Majesty. I know exactly how to handle this."

>Great Old One Warlock and High Cult Priestess walks up to the front door of their main temple.

"Excuse me? Sorry to bother you, but have you heard the good news of Yog Sothoth?"

>A thunderous roaring sound echoes from every corner of the room as the inside of their temple becomes an MC Escher painting. Their screams go unheard as time fractures and they run out of breath before they open their mouths. As their ribs are transmuted to abstract parallelograms and their brains are inverted, their shattered bodies are dragged into the shadows of what used to be the 'third dimensional' objects they called furniture, now portals to the vast darkness between the stars. As quickly as it began, it ends. The building returns to being just an obtuse cube of stone bricks, stripped bare on the inside. An odd dust settles on everything, slightly pinkish in color but otherwise unremarkable. The metal fittings now have a strange patina, as if they were vastly older than their actual age.

>Nobody outside the building heard or saw anything. Many of them don't even remember the cult that used to set up shop there.

>Goes to visit the King.

"Thank you for your generosity, Majesty. And for insisting on allowing all your subjects a Freedom of Religion. My order greatly appreciates your fairness and non-interference."

>>52362569
>Yog-Sothoth
>Existing In D&D
His very nature cannot exist in the local cosmology in it's slightest and he's only remembered by the Aboleth through his Elder Evil name, Fucking Illthestine is in the process of unintentionally mantling him and bringing him back through the Astral Plane, however

>>52347083
Twist!
>one of the cultists is highly trained in martial arts and can non-lethally incapacitate several men single-handedly
>he can, however, be bargained with due to his need for treasure for the expensive wedding ritual his sweetheart back home wants
>he's also multiclassed as bard but has no musical talent
>if he joins the part or becomes a contact then access may also be gained to his artificer companion

>>52352500
I remember another mormon anon who said that at least in their community it was actually awful and everyone was pretend-polite but the most two-faced manipulative behind the back haters they ever met and the only person who was legitimately faithful and didn't just use religion as an excuse to shit on others and pretend to be better was this sad old man who had lost his whole family and just wanted to see them again.

I'd assume there's a mix here and there.

>>52347083
Say no to a Mormon enough times, they'll give up on you.

Say no to a Muslim enough times, they'll blow you up.

>>52363441
Which cosmology? There are five I know of and any given game could vary from any of them.

>>52363541
And only one of them is socially acceptable to complain about.
>Oh no, these people politely inform me about their religion and leave when I tell them I'm not interested! Surely they're the biggest problem our society is facing right now!

>>52347316
>The Codex Islamic does not support this action.

>>52351831
Aqua is an attention whoring money grubbing bitch who only cares for herself.

>>52364297
Lalatina on the other hand is a pure maiden made for marriage.

>>52352500
Mormonism believes in a third revelation that adds its own canon, basically. In this it's just like Islam. It's only called Christianity because they themselves want that label.

>>52347083
>relentlessly pushy, endlessly annoying everyone who needs to go outside
So, not mormon missionaries then. They aren't pushy at all. My experience with them is that they're very sincere, friendly, don't harass anyone and leave without a second word if asked.

They're the polar opposite of Jehovah's witnesses.

>>52347127

Or they'd just do like the Romans and pharisees. Christians would rather you not know that they were crucifying messiahs daily in jerusalem.

Dungeons are too much work and not really worth it for peasants. Cut his head off and invoice his family the executioners wage

>>52351654
>Visited by mormons
>Let them in
>Sit through their bullshit
>Be nice, offer water since I know they don't do caffeine.
>They ask me if I'm religious
>I say "Yes, I'm Catholic, actually."
>Point to the crucifix I have above the doorway
>Watch them get visibly disturbed
>The 2nd one had a damn good poker face though, I'll give him that
>They invite me to one of their services
>Mention that I'll think about it, but I am a very devout Catholic
>They politely find a way to end the conversation
>They leave

And that's how I'm never visited by Mormons again.

>>52364748
Not American so we have close to no Mormons here. What problems do Mormons have with Catholics, other than the regular (mostly died down) Protestant-Catholic conflict?

>>52364763
Catholics are the "Whore of Babylon" to many Protestants and Mormons.

You know, from Revelations, which was a veiled critique on the Romans and not actual prophecy?

>>52364163
All of them in conventional practice, he's supposed to exist outside of any natural universe but is connected to each and every one, because he's literally omniscient Time and Space so he basically knows everything that goes on within universes where time and space are, unless of course, local space finds a way to deny his sight, which basically translates as him drawing a blank on it establishing it as a place that doesn't exist, because Yog-Sothoth is the gate by which the Spheres meet (universes and technically what makes him up).

In D&D, Good, Evil, Law, and Chaos are cosmic forces which dictate a chunk of what goes on in whatever current universal makeup going on, and the formation of the universe from 1e-3.5 (skip 4e because it was all Elminster's Dream) was a part of ongoing events that would otherwise mark or trigger the shift to the next edition, The Time of troubles was the shift to 2e, and Vecna's little Sigil trip the shift to 3.e-3.5.

Anyhow, the idea that there is a nihilistic uncaring set of beings that are the definition of biological superiority from the beginning of pretty much anything anywhere ever that exceed morality and understanding and most sapient concepts we as human sapients understand is utterly anathema to this, and thus, seeks to actively deny it. Because of this, anything relating to the moral grey or base components that relate to these creatures, are in fact a danger to all of this reality, and are thus, shafted to Chaotic Evil, ejected from reality, or some other horrible end meets it, you know that context of Psionics being the Anti-far realm thing? This was what it meant, they got straight up rejected out of reality, and left quite a mess on their way out, and by that, I mean the left behind what possibly caused the deities to come into being and a shitload of other things.

>>52364950
Now then, as The Gate does not see this universe/reality/cosmos if you follow what Ao's Master mentions (meaning there's more than one cut off reality), that means no Cosmic taxi rides via Necromonicon and galactic fission-hookups which means Lovecraft's servitor and brand of "just fuck my shit up" species and nastiest cannot roll the fuck in to ruin everyone's day.

Except, as far as fictional universes go with this little concept, there is the idea Nyralathotep, tis AWARE of this, and actively uses his shabbos go- I mean Cthulhu to Brute force his way in to realities that get an Elder Sign or some other means to make sure there is not possibility in the idea that he is going to push the kill everyone button and have it not work in it's entirety.

So what does he do? Same thing he always does, work by proxy, people who speak for him, calculations understanding of how everything works, forms and comes to being is a great help to brainstorming how a universe you can't access because you recognize the Mandella effect but your space-chad relative doesn't and need to bring it back into the fold.

Anyhow, work by proxy right? And that's what goes down, and unfortunately, there are gaps in this little universal seal of sorts which keeps them out, in many little workings, for exmaple, there are planes where the gods have no sway out of the local cosmology so, they can potentially send things in, or influence those areas to a infintasmal memetic degree that something comes of it, we're talking shit so subtle you'd never notice it, without say, data mining databases, and even then, something like that would pick up on the largest of these er, "attempts".

>>52350121
A quote sure to go down in history as one of the most philosophically significant insights of its time.

>>52364976
But the core of it is basically the "order established here must go" and that's what they did, with multiple attempts to get in, but you see, they left stuff behind when they were initially rejected in the first place, namely, the deities, (whelp) and Elder Evils, and the Far Realm, which ammounts to the little concentrated pocket of life outside the planes wherer the deities have no sway, and shit get's fucking complex, so I'll summarize what's going on with the aberrations and choice outsiders
>Aboleths made by Fission, to the Blood-Mother,(Shub-niggurath? Mother Hydra?) completely fucking unknown if this occurred pre-GOO-ejection and their entire species makeup, hierarchy and a text from Greyhawk implies they're a Servitor race from R'leyh related to the Deep ones, which explains Scum, and why the eldest, the Paragon of their race which is as large as their euclidean cities has the exact power to drive humanoids mad in a mile radius if it wakes up, next to their worship of the GOO's under proxied names (Think the mandella effect went-down post ejection so, the GOO's and their names, except bitch boy dagon can't exist in the universe either) and the fact they're basically Primordial fish Deep ones that are also biologically immortal, engineer slave races, and other stuff But also could have been from the Far Realm, hard to say as said place wasn't ever breached until the Elves showed up

>>52364996
There's a kernel of truth to it, even if it's controversial.

>>52365147
>The Illithid are literally a last-minute Species made by the Elder Things that may have Triggered the Shoggoth Rebellion, primarily in that they were made from whatever the fuck the Elder Things were fighting at the time that they were losing against (Star-Spawn?) And came out as Neoiillithid, which to the Elder Things was useless, -till they ate their first Sapient Brain, Unlocking their innate Psionics and probably triggered the Shoggoths to take up later before rebelling and killing the shit out of everything else, migrating to the D&Dverse and starting their empire sometime after the discovery of cerebromorphis]
>Their god is basically word for word, trying to become Yog-sothoth and not even realize it with that Elder Brain merger plan, which might actually breach and bring it back, probably doing fuck knows what
>Ruled a wonderful empire, right up until: the heat-death of the Universe, Tharizdun got out, their fucking with the sun went wrong, or Cthugha got in and flash-fried the shit out of them, they then used congealed crushed time, Quintessensce, to blow themselves back to the past before their evil was law, and try again, only to fuck up again anyway.
>Also, Had a deity before Illthestine, but Orcus Krumped it when he was Tennebrous.
>When the deities started out, they were chaotic as fuck, and were essentially mirrors of their unknown forefathers who passed from the Astral sea, till Human faith calmed their shit down, and pretty much everyone else followed suit, well, except for Ghaunadaur, who is living evidence the Great Old ones once trood, in the fact that it's a deity that DOES NOT MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT CANNOT MAKE SENSE AND IF IT STARTED TO MAKE SENSE THEN THAT MEANS THE END OF EVERYTHING IS GOING DOWN

>>52365347
>Ghaunadaur also used a Demon Lord, who is the proxy for an Outer-god who as his avatar for a time, because god of slimes and stuff
>Tharizdun data-mined every insane person ever, went mad and proposed the destruction of the universe, which he got shoved in a floating space crystal for, but this didn't really stop him because the event was so great, it made a parralel dimension where he succeeded, and then shed his divinity and became a fucking Great Old One, leaving behind the Species known as the Sharn, who are the Entropy raped remnants of said universe post ascention thanks to destroying that parralel worlds alignment system and technically the Cerulean sign, so yeah.
>Basically, he was a deity who figured out everything was bullshit, and limited by design, and decided to wreck said design to escape it, and was also basically a massive broiling pool of "Dear lord it's the grail mud from Fate Stay night, but worse, because it's got that dead-inside mentality of Lovecraft himself" and some other stuff.
>This slighty changed in 4e with his creation of the abyss, which technically following how the abyss works falls into his designs for blowing everyone up anyway because all of Demonkind HAD THE EXACT SAME AIM, Except The Queen of Chaos and Pazuzu, who just want to fuck with people and maybe a few others, like Orcus, who just wants to be big-man-chief of something, but accidentally cast a Dweomer that kill himself and every other person on his native plane and became a big leader of Sychophantic moron death-lovers

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>>52365398
>Elves one day decided to get every base caster class ever to drill outside the planes to the ones where the deities had no sway
>Dug so far they ended up in the ever-shifting literally described as a giant cosmic onion of horror zone where all the cosmic bullshit was ejected from concentration of tumorous eldritch Life
>Let in an Elder Evil whilst doing so, almost making this plane connect with the cosmology, which would give it a permanent connection allowing it to terraform the entire universe in the process
>Instead, it now enroaches on the Plane of Nightmares and the Dream demiplanes, which literally makes them real in some choice incursions that cause nightmares to manifest with the aberrant life granted through this bizzaro planar shift
>Oh, and killed all the elves involved.
>Few ten thousand years later, they do it again
>Except they decide to try and do it by Teleporting there
>Last 10 seconds before the Astrally projected intelligence of an Elder Evil looks at them turning them into an an entirely diffrent species with their old memories and desire to get back and terraform everything into them and the Far Realm b extention, which basically lets in the lovecraftian shit anyway. Become Kaorti.

As for Beholders? Not actually a Cosmic threat, opposed to the other Aberrant/Outsider Far Realm species they're reliant on the weave you see, Dead Magic zones drop them dead as per what NWN1 showed still capable of ruining entire ecosystem with their appetites though.

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>>52365513
Oh right, and Dagon is the only one retaining his name but no memory of his nature.
Unless an Alienist summons him, then that will be that.
As for Alienists? Well, once upon a Time, the Demon Lord Obrityh proxy for what is Implied to be the Nameless Mist, (extended mythos, but still) Screwed Nyralathotep's Elder Evil Proxy, and then gave birth to Graz'zt and a number of other horrors in a ploy to marry the one that took the title of Prince/King of Demons therefore making her the Queen (ew)
So- Nyralathotep fucks it's genderless sibling's proxy in female form, who then wishes to fuck the offspring of this union to marry it.
And this is why Graz'zt has the extra fingers and toes, and is pitch-black skinned (got it from his dad). Oh, and this made some other mentionable horrors which you can read about on Graz'zt's Dragon Magazine Article
Amazing he only has one cock then.
Anyhow, due to all the nightmarish shit she sends out of her cunt, she eventually causes the origin of a template where a horrible far realm creature is squashed and compressed into the place of it's native equivalent where it is summoned, and there's a set of nutjobs who revere the Far Realm and summon said Pseudonatural beings.

And this just so happens to interfere with summoning spells, in an underwhelming PrC which got worse post 3.t, because no, you do not summon horrible cosmic horrors using the antibody of cosmic horror and process that through your mind you dumb shit, who thought making Alienists Psionic was a good fucking idea?

So, if you were to Summon Dagon, Demon Prince of Darkned depths, and some idiot alienist comes along and touches the Summon circle, then "Dagon" get's replace by it's equivale-

oh.

Yeah, and then the Old ones break through. Whoops.

>>52364748
so, mormons don't have crucifixes?

>>52366550
They don't even have crosses, anon.

>>52364947
Revelation.

Singular.

Even in the Greek.

Strange thing to get 'tisms about, but God does it bug me. It's generally the first sign someone hasn't read it.

Mormons are some of the nicest people around. We have a few from the States and they come to our FLGS to play Magic. Thought that shit was forbidden for them, but nope.

>>52366860
>capitalizing god

lol

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>>52351654
>Visited my mormons
>They invite themselves in, too polite to refuse
>They sit down
>They stand up and leave
>Why did they leave?
>What was that they were looking at on the coffee table?
>Oh.
>OH

The previous night was a fun movie night.

Yes, that actually happened.
Yes, really.

>>52367324
Please tell me that's a so-bad-it's-good movie.
I honestly don't know after Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. There exists a comedy spoof of that movie... implying the orignal ISN'T a comedy.
Same with Cowboys vs Aliens. It sounds like goofy pulp, but instead it's the most boring movie I've ever seen.

>>52351735
Muslims take Jerusalem/Constantinople

>>52360869
Who cares about that anon. There's a kingdom that needs saving from this dark lord. We must help the rebels in disposing him. its our duty as paladins

>>52347162
Are you saying that Mormon's don't believe in easily disproven nonsense?

>>52366860

There have been plural Revelations, but when most people are speaking of it, they're talking about The Revelation to John (No, Not That John, Another One).

If you're so stuck on the plural, remember that John was shown a bunch of different shit, making it more a series of revelations than one big knowledge chunk. That it may have been the same prophetic dream or hallucination is both unlikely and immaterial. The simple folk are technically correct.

>>52349843
>Those cultists don't look bloodthirsty.
No, they just want to let the bloodthirsty ones in.

>>52360193
>Queen

Literally the Reddit of bands. You dodged a bullet there chief

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>>52355969
>passive aggressiveness is equal to persecution

I hate this fucking pussy generation

>>52351654
That reminds me of some shit I pulled in college
>live in a de facto college only appartment
>visited by mormons
>let them in
>ask them if they're thirsty
>immediately pull three beers out of the fridge
>Mormons say no
>ask them if they want a shot instead
> they immediately say I think we should go
>tell them come again
>they left the whole complex and never came back
I kinda wish they had drank with me.

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>>52369622
Le based xD mind if screencap this for r/4chan /b/ro? XD

>>52369662
I actually did that.

>>52350234
>aren't going to fight back
>Mormons
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormon_Battalion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpIyaIHsJbc

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>>52347316
>>52364264
nice meme

>>52369478
That's easy to say, but still...I feel like I'm losing my damn mind, can't even remember her name. I can hear her voice, see her face moving as she speaks and everything, I even remember her shapely rump, but no name.

I guess it doesn't matter. She's probably married with a whole mess of kids now.

>>52369808
Shut the fuck up this isn't your personal blog nobody cares

>>52364950
Yep. For all intents and purposes, he is The Far Realm.

>>52351831
>implying Aqua deserves anything except getting eaten by frogs or forced service as a divine water filter

>>52369519
Preaching to the choir, son. Everyone who whines about persecution in the West should be offered a trip to the countryside of Syria to see what actual persecution looks like. See how they react over there when you tell them you're not a Muslim, let alone that you're a trigendered apachesexual ponykin.

This is why we have fucking safe spaces, because we can't handle people disagreeing with us.

>>52374241
>Happy Holidays

>>52365852
Thanks for this rant, anon, I love the lore but it's usually hard to get so succinct.

>>52369031
There are such a thing as evil rebels, you know. Detect - Smite doesn't work anymore, now that it only pings on things like undead and outsiders, not that it was ever foolproof to start with.

For the love of Pelor, you have a wisdom score for a reason; use it!

>>52363444

That's Orgazmo, isn't it?

>>52369235
I think anon is saying that what Mormons believe in isn't very 'easily' disproved

>>52365347
Why doesn't Gonadhour being a god make sense?

>>52367813
It totally is.

>>52369808
I care, senpai
don't listen to >>52370008

>>52374508
Didn't mean that, If you read his dogma's and descriptions in his 2e-3.5 stuff you'll notice his actual religious dogma, wants needs and the like have conflicting messages and generally make no sense in application, he even eats his followers just because and other such oddness.

His inherent nature as a deity that never changed since it's birth reminiscnet of it's forefathers departure from the astral plane, as when deities started out, a lot of them were Chaos, aligned.

Him making no sense is because the cosmic forces of evil, good law and chaos actively reject the inherent concepts found past these ideals where he would most likely start to make more sense, what would be a creature that makes sense with wisdom above mortal understanding becomes a hate-driven death machine because no one can comprehend of it and goes mad seeing it, or some other lovecraftian feature.

If Ghaunadaur ever started to make sense, then something bad would be on the horizon, he's an unintentional warning signal.

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>>52374435
yeah, "palpably absurd" covers it slightly better.

>>52374878
All these things are somehow more absurd than more mainstream Christian cults

>pope is literally the divine representative of God, and everything he says regarding doctrine is true by fiat
>doing a magical ritual and eating bread/drinking wine is literally consuming the flesh and blood of 2000 year old dead jew

>>52374908
>>catholicism stuff
Basically all makes sense when you look at it from a Neo-Platonist perspective and take the Gospels at their word.
No perspective makes Mormon shit make sense.

>>52374936
Christianity worldwide wouldn't be worth shit if not for Catholicism.

>>52374406
You speak of heresy anon. The dark lord overthrew the monarchy and the nobility for his own power and gain. He is a practitioner of the dark arts. That alone should be enough to stop him. So I ask once more, we must liberate the people under his reign it is our duty as Paladins.

>>52374908
I am not Catholic.

From what I understand, the Pope is the divine representative of God and what he says is and changes are the things that need to be said and changed in the time while he is Pope. Basically, the Pope is supposed to be God's HR department, letting us know how the religion is changing to reflect modern times.

As a Protestant, the Communion is a ritual that reflects our willingness to submit to God's authority. It's not actually the body and blood of Christ, but eating it represents our willingness to do whatever Christ asked of us, even cannibalism, which at the time Christ lived, was the worst thing you could do,

>>52374908
The difference is that Jesus and his immediate successors lived over a thousand years ago and the founding of Christianity is shrouded in some mystery, so you can cut Christians some slack for believing it.
Joseph Smith lived in more modern times, and his previous scams and flams were well documented. Not only that, but he claimed to have interpreted an Egyptian scroll that later turned out to say something completely different.

Basically what I'm saying is that while the two religions make similarly ridiculous claims, the context of Mormonism makes it so your typical convert to Mormonism is probably more gullible than your typical convert to Catholicism.

>>52364455
>They're the polar opposite of Jehovah's witnesses.
I worked a graveyard shift at a grocery store with a Jehovah's witness. After several months of religious and philosophical conversations he brings up that he's told members of his congregation not to pop by my apartment. His concern is I will end up shaking, or destroying their faith.

>get approached by Mormons on the way into uni
>tell them that my soul is spoken for
>they look confused
>tell them I'm a Catholic (raised with it, lapsed as lapsed gets now)

I've never seen anyone look so sad or defeated in my life

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>>52347083
PURGE!

>>52347083
Convince the current church to declare that any man who kills one of the cultists is guaranteed a place in paradise upon death.

>>52376313
You're considering the ritual communion a metaphor. That's fine, whatever. But there are people who legitimately consider it a magical ritual with real-world effects. Transubstantiation, they call it.

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>>52376903
Good luck.

>>52377310
I wonder what actual mormons think about this guy.

>>52369808
>I can hear her voice, see her face moving as she speaks and everything, I even remember her shapely rump, but no name
She's a succubus, Anon, who will return to tempt you away from the One True God.

>>52377388
Well representation is always nice.

>>52347167

>Mormons
>polite and non-murderous

Maybe nowadays they pretend to that, but Mormons massacred quite a few American settlers heading west.

>>52350242
>I met many a mormon and they all are nice lads and lassies who like to make people smile.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1386232/Mormon-leader-ordered-massacre-of-settlers.html

>>52350461
>give them jobs in the civil service.
>give an invasive cult of infiltrators civil service positions

What could possibly go wrong?

I hope you're not your party's strategist.

>>52351738
>he got molested

I was an altar boy for years and was never once molested. You have to invest in your dodging skills when you're little.

>>52352500
>Mormons are the nicest people

They're really not, it's just a facade they use to facilitate their manipulations and infiltrations. Mormonism is a spinoff of Freemasonry and we all know how evil Freemasons are.

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>>52355969
>the moment you say you're atheist, trans, gay, smoke weed, or are pro-abortion, etc, they get passive aggressive.

Except for smoking weed, I'd get actively aggressive (in a non-violent verbal manner) towards anyone who professed those identities, too, and I'd throw in Mormons as well. Degenerates and heathens!

>>52360869
>a progressive tyrant

There's not such thing as progress, he'd just be a tyrant imposing his warped individual will and vision on a populace and uprooting its culture and traditions to satisfy his whims.

>>52363541

Mormons and Muslims are both political pawns of the Jew. Quite transparently so, you don't even have to be a /pol/lack to see it.

>>52374878
What happened in 1978 that made God cool with letting black people in?

>>52364655
>Or they'd just do like the Romans and pharisees. Christians would rather you not know that they were crucifying messiahs daily in jerusalem.

Romans were only crucifying the messiahs who were Zealot revolutionaries, not the ones who were anti-materialist esoteric philosophers.

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>>52364748

Mormons really don't like us Catholics for some reason, bonus points if you're super trad-Catholic.

>>52364947
>Catholics are the "Whore of Babylon" to many Protestants and Mormons.

The funny thing is, the more that Catholicism has adopted the trappings and doctrines of Protestantism, the more Whore of Babylon-like my poor Mother Church has become.

>>52378284
The head of the church can speak directly to God and God told him that he changed his mind.

>>52374241
>Everyone who whines about persecution in the West should be offered a trip to the countryside of Syria to see what actual persecution looks like. See how they react over there when you tell them you're not a Muslim

So long as you're in Assad-ruled Syria, being a Christian ain't so bad.

>>52369622
Mormons are allowed to drink beer.

>>52374878

It makes sense when you realize Joseph Smith was a Freemason who stole the doctrines of Freemasonry and used them as the basis for Mormonism.

>>52378375
"It's cool everybody, God is woke now"

>>52374908
>>pope is literally the divine representative of God, and everything he says regarding doctrine is true by fiat

No, that's not how that's formulated, it's just how it seems to misinformed outsiders. I don't even acknowledge the current so-called Pope, he's a blatant Marxist heretic.

>>doing a magical ritual and eating bread/drinking wine is literally consuming the flesh and blood of 2000 year old dead jew
The Mystery of the Vine and the consumption of the body and blood of the sacrificed savior figure is a beautiful sacrament that has a long history in the Western tradition which predates Christianity.

>>52374983
>Christianity worldwide wouldn't be worth shit if not for Catholicism.

Protestants started the ordination of women thing, the whole Gospel of Love and Gospel of Prosperity bullshit, all the modernizations which has turned Christianity into a worthless, meaningless dead creed that lumbers on through the inertia of tradition found their genesis in Protestantism.

However, I have to admit Catholicism is the original Protestantism and the Bishop of Rome's asserting primacy and the authority to basically pull doctrine from his ass is the precedent for Protestantism. Only Orthodoxy is somewhat pure and even that has been adulterated in the 19th and 20th centuries.

>>52347083
ya know, I've never met a Mormon, in my area, we have Jehova's Witness

>>52374983
>implying Orthodoxy hasn't been superior ever since the schism

>>52367197
>capitalizing God offends me
>but you better use my specific pronouns you shitlord!

>>52377271
>>52374908

I feel like its the kind of thing everyone knows is bs but nobody wants be the one to say it first.

>>52378544
We've got some down here, and I learned a lot about the culture, if not the religion itself, from a guy I was stuck in med hold with after I broke my knees in Air Force Basic. Nice dude, nice people overall. The beliefs seem kinda kooky, but not really any more or less kooky compared with a lot of religions, and they back up a lot of stuff with community ties and family values and whatnot.

I stopped in a Chick-Fil-A outside of Zion Nat'l Park in Utah once, and that was the most blonde-haired-blue-eyed-super-polite kids I've ever seen in one place.

>>52365347

>The Illithid are literally a last-minute Species

This is your head canon. Illithids in D&D are actually the psionic offspring of humanity, which survived until the end of the universe and then looped back in past

>>52367813

The first vampire spoken line is "where are our lesbians?".

>>52378797
No it isn't it's mentioned in the Illithad and the fucking Lords of madness, and it's a reference to the Elder things, which were presented in D&D twice around the time.

>>52378841

Planescape quite literally says they're from the future, and several adventure paths hint at them being descendants of humanity, expecially since they can bear true offsprigns only with humans, half-elf and half-orcs

>>52378841

Also, this is the text from lords of madness:

At the very end of time, the mind flayers faced extinction at the hands of some unknown adversary. Caught in the throes
of defeat, harried in their crumbling capitals and universities (lesser outposts had fallen eons before), the surviving illithids
concocted a desperate plan. As their last bastions were assailed and their psychic defenses breached, the mind flayers
sacrificed countless ancient, potent elder brains to produce a psionic maelstrom of unimaginable proportions. The ensuing
cacophony of energy demolished the very laws that support
the structure of time. The illithids and all that remained of their decadent civilization were hurled backward across the ravaged barriers separating the ages to arrive in the present
world, but thousands of years ago, as recorded in the Sargonne Prophecies.
The illithids’ staggering gamble paid off. Upon arriving in the human world of several thousand years past, they quickly enslaved the humanoid race known as the gith, seeking to reestablish their empire in their new age. After centuries of servitude, the gith successfully rebelled against the mind flayers. Much of the knowledge and wondrous magic brought to the distant past from the illithid empire at the end of time was destroyed in this rebellion, and for long years the mind flayers were scattered and disorganized in its wake.

>>52374878
None of those things are remotely strange compared to pretty much any religious mythology that ever existed. Religious clothing is completely normal, as are prohibitions on random things.

Baptizing (and marrying) the dead is internally consistent with their belief that baptism and marriage are part of 3 sacred covenants you need to keep in order to get access to the full afterlife experience, which is to essentially become a god and to be the steward of your own planet, which is at least a bit more of a developed concept than "hang out with god and the angels forever doing nothing".

The "crazy" beliefs of mormons are exactly as "crazy" as those of any other religion on the planet.

>>52374878
Half of those things are not even remotely true, and you damn well know that.

Or you don't, in which case I suggest not getting theology lessons from a cereal box from backwoods Georgia

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>>52364763
>Not American so we have close to no Mormons here.
You'd be surprised. Really dang surprised. They got temples all over Europe, and even one of their current and most popular Apostles is a German. I even once knew a German exchange student who came over here and played soccer who was a Mormon and lived near Stuttgart. Its just most Mormons outside of the Utah/Idaho bloc tend to be quiet and keep to themselves, and are genuinely polite.

Heck, they've even got some churches all the way into India know iirc

Pic related, a basic map and nondetailed of Mormon distribution across Europe.

As for the Catholic deal, I think it has to do with early resentment between the two due to Mormons being Non-Nicean as well as believing the Catholics to have never had the authority of God, thus meaning they were EXTRA HERETICAL!

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>>52347083
How do you get by their magic underwear? Legions of friendly cultists in plot proof long johns.

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>>52364319

>>52374143
No, silly! Frogs deserve to be eaten, not the other way around.

>>52347083
>so I told Ezekiel to spread the word of jesus christ
>and he actually did it, the absolute madman!

>>52374878
the stuff with blacks were introduced by later leaders like Young. Joseph Smith was against slavery.

>>52380225
>Joseph Smith was against slavery.
Fun fact, this was the main reason why they were chased out of Missouri, because they kept wanting to vote against slavery there, and the other Missourians then tried to push them away from ballots

This then led to the militant sect of Mormons (whos name I forgot) in order to fight back Missourians trying to lynch them for voting anti-slavery, until they were chased from the state and the militant sect publicly denounced and disbanded by Smith for being a "Secret Combination" that was against the ideals of the church

>>52378456
You wanna schism over it? I don't see any anti-popes, guess God thinks you're wrong too

>>52364241
That sounds like cis-het man talk to me. Better email your boss and get you fired for being a racist.

>>52377881

Yeah, but they killed enough indians to make up for it.

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>>52383365
Accuse me of being a /pol/lack all you want, but it reminds me of that one western movie where some American military officer roasts some Indian chieftain on who really owns the land. I forgot the movie and the exact details of the scene but it went more or less

>Y-You stole this land from us
>And you stole this land from other tribes. So?
>B-but the spirits promised us this land.
>And God promised this land to the Mormons. So?

>>52383365
To be fair, it was the other Indians that asked them to kill off the Utes. Most of the rest were killed by that group of soldiers from California that Lincoln sent.

Mormons really love converting Natives. Especially the Shashone

>>52378031
I just want to let you know that people laugh at you behind your back, as soon as you've left the room. They think you're an okay guy but roll their eyes at how hard you're trying to be taken seriously.

>>52383416

Pretty much. I wont deny that we fucked the indians about as hard as it was possible to on little more ground than "I dont see a sign on it" and "might = right". But the "noble savage" thing always gets under my skin. They were just regular people, they had plenty of wars, slaves and all sorts of nasty shit too. Dont pretend that it was all sunshine and harmony until the evil white man showed up.

>>52383586
Noble savage myth is basically a strawman at this point.

>>52383766
There still are legit primitivists though, and the noble savage myth in one way or another still permeates through the political left. Except that they'd consider even the nomer "noble savage" to be racist because it implies they're... you know... savages.

>>52383811
I really wish both sides would stop using my people as political talking points, but that would require them to actually get a life, so I'm not holding my breath.

>>52378004
This anon knows what's up. Thank you for speaking the truth

>>52383766
My mother always waxes poetic when the subject of native american comes up. I just sigh and bear it at this point.

Sure its not as pervasive as it was, but the general idea behind it is still kicking around in certain circles.

>>52365319
It might be controversial, but its also fucking stupid. You think women aren't cheering at Trump rallies?

>>52364655
>Christians would rather you not know that they were crucifying messiahs daily in jerusalem.
Except that there's a whole philosophical debate recorded in the book of Acts where that's exactly the point of contention. Wide open for anyone to see for the last 1900-odd years.
>B-boy, those Christians, they s-sure don't w-want the t-truth known!

>>52378286
>anti-materialist
>Jesus of Nazareth
What you are espousing, anon, is the heresy sometimes called "gnosticism," which many of the Epistles were written specifically to combat. If God thought matter was so crude and unholy, why would he take on flesh, and leave us with rituals (sacraments) that involve bathing in, or ingesting, crude matter?

>>52378456
>the current so-called Pope is a blatant Marxist heretic.
Hell I'm a Calvinist and I coulda told you that. Bring back JP II, he was based.

>>52385982
I think he means pleb materialism, the assignment of undue value to mere objects.

>>52379183
>>52374908
The difference is, the mainstream cults all date back to antiquity and multiple reverse double bluff translated holy texts scribed from the oral history of desert dwelling goat fuckers

Joseph Smith was a dude who lived ~200 years ago when we had guns and books and public education and shit.

>>52378456
>I don't even acknowledge the current so-called Pope, he's a blatant Marxist heretic.
>>52386008
>Hell I'm a Calvinist and I coulda told you that
Salty conservocucks detected

Turns out Christians outside the first world are doing real nigga charity work. CHRISTIAN. One who FOLLOWS CHRIST.

You wanna jack off over the older texts become a Jew.

>>52378426
Naw they believe that God told them to stop having black people as they where getting attacked already, can you imagine if they where a church that believed in both accepting black people and polygamy at the same time, they would've been exterminated