ITT greentexts

File: blacksmith daughter part 2.jpg (536KB, 1733x2034px) Image search: [Google]

536KB, 1733x2034px

>>52330572

>>52330572
Can I get the Gaston Stat Me screencap?

File: blacksmith daughter part 3.jpg (585KB, 1848x2784px) Image search: [Google]

585KB, 1848x2784px

>>52330577

File: 1460965284705.png (83KB, 1319x785px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 1319x785px

elves

Hijacking this thread to whore for attention.
Once upon a time I wrote a somewhat popular greentext, and now I have enough material for the sequel.
However, I'm not sure which style I should use. Does /tg/ prefer brief, greentext-syle narration, or long-winded passages with a lot of direct speech, like in a book?

File: No One Stats Like Gaston.png (275KB, 1622x2082px) Image search: [Google]

275KB, 1622x2082px

>>52330593

>>52330906
if it's good then I don't think the style should matter. which isn't to imply that yours won't be good, I have faith in your ability to write entertaining content anon! Go for it!

>>52330647
as a "never played and only lurk \tg\" kind of person, I have a question.
Isn't the knowledge about the girl an OOC knowledge to the rest of the party?
Since the wizard, witch and barb did not stalk the girl themselves.

>>52331301
It is, that was kind of the point. The other characters had no reason to care about or even know the girl.

>>52330906
Whatever you choose, I can guarantee the format of your sequel is going to be substantially more acceptable than mine. I am genuinely worried the thread will get deleted or something.

File: No one rapes like Gaston.png (68KB, 641x756px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 641x756px

>>52330976

>>52331522
WHAT
HOW THAT DOE-

(I laughed at this, wow)

I have shitloads of greentexts. Want a dump? Any requests?

>>52331616
Post epic and heroic stuff, we have enough funny greentexts.

>>52331616
Anything eldritch knight related?

>>52330572
Does anyone have the green text of the guy who's party wizard used enlarge person while he was in the tub and they spent several failed rolls trying to get him out of the tub?

File: hAH1o96.png (33KB, 715x324px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 715x324px

Short, but sweet

File: Alan's Kickoff.jpg (2MB, 1920x5840px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x5840px

>>52331647
I don't know if filename is too spoilery, so I'm marking it as a spoiler.

File: A Paladin All Along.jpg (128KB, 1420x469px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 1420x469px

>>52331647
PALADINS AND HEROISM INCOMING

File: Bonzy the Clown.png (467KB, 768x4160px) Image search: [Google]

467KB, 768x4160px

i can't post any faster than this

File: Good necromancers.jpg (154KB, 891x603px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 891x603px

>>52332389
I always hated that story, and the "dindu nuffin necromancer" trope in general.
> I was only building enlightened utopias with my evil, life-destroying magic, but those stupid, bigoted adventurers ruined them!

>>52330647
Have to say, 2/3rds of the way through I figured he'd end up killing her.

>>52331301
>>52331337
Could be they got together once in a blue moon and the rogue told them about her. You guys are probably right though.

File: Necrocheese 1.png (135KB, 1107x2608px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 1107x2608px

Like every thread I post in, I ask if anyone else has the other four parts to this.

File: 1479884389955.jpg (49KB, 596x628px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 596x628px

>>52331522

File: Ozzmar the Paladin 3.png (560KB, 900x3480px) Image search: [Google]

560KB, 900x3480px

I'm about a third of the way down my list. Note that this is less than a quarter of my collection.

>>52332883
Take a break for a while, anon, give people some time to react to what's been posted already.

File: Potato of Faith.png (338KB, 1185x1427px) Image search: [Google]

338KB, 1185x1427px

>>52332928
Gimme like three more.

File: Qunituple Cross.png (255KB, 983x3814px) Image search: [Google]

255KB, 983x3814px

Alright I'm done for now.

File: the_horrible_truth.png (655KB, 1910x2830px) Image search: [Google]

655KB, 1910x2830px

Not green but interesting.

My First L5R deck was a Crab deck, obsidian edition. So when I got into L5R rpg of course my first char was a Crab. I consumed source matiral on my clan at a voracious pace. With the execption of the very first book of the shadowlands I have read every sourcebook cover to cover that has anything to do with the Crab clan or the Shadowlands. Hida Ishigaki is my Crab. I shall now recount some of his tales.

>Get picked out as an Emerald Magistrate.
>Guess the Crab's affinity for Water does mean I'm good at spotting clues...oh wait testimony is the only real evidence.
>huh. Oh well, must be so I can spot tainted fuckers or something.
>Show up for my first day on the job in my battered ass O-Yori. Tetsubo slung over my shoulder. Can't beat the classic look, screw all that cruseteacion shit.
>Get looked at like I just crawled out of a midden. I cut my beard and everything too! well, okay lopped it off with my tanto but still...!
>There's a Isawa Water tensai, her pet Shiba, Kistuki of fucking course, and one of those Mantis twats.
>yeah, yeah our "cousins." I don't buy it. Osono-Wo was a fucking CRAB, you minor clan money grubing, peasant weapon swinging pissants do NOT get to call him your Ancestor.
>His blood flows in MY veins. Literally. I can trace a direct paternal line all the way back to Hida himself, not just one of the Samurai that took his name.
>Shugenja procedes to cough up some blood during the meet and greet. Dafuk?
>week smile, explains she's been sick since birth.
>Impressed by her ability to Endure, keeping a proper face on even when she's clearly suffering. Tough girl. The fact that Benten was kind to her dosen't hurt either.
>First job is pretty straightforward, Bandits need to be handled. Gotcha, now I know why they picked me, of all people, for such a prestigous post.

>>52333187
>I'll spare you all the boring details. It went as you'd expect. I drew lots of attention and shruged off their pathetic "attacks" with my armor and the strong Earth that all Crabs are blessed with, while the rest of the party took them down. The mantis helped a little bit, I guess.
>The Shugenja though, didn't hurt anyone. Not one offensive spell. She tried to hide it, but I saw her wiping away her tears after the fight was over. Huh. Quite the softie.
>We head back into town, and I decide to reward myself with some good sake.
>Wake up, head is fuzzy.
>waitwut?
>I've NEVER gotten so drunk I don't remember the night before. My liver is made of high grade Kaiu Steel FFS.
>Roll over, head pounding.
>stare at dishevled Tenasi. Damn she's cute. And a nice rack peeking out of her torn kimonOHNO.

good so far

>>52333307
>Screaming ensues
>Yoriki with Yari swarm into the room
>I'm under arrest
>Kitsuki scrambles to look for evidence
>mantits starts asking around town, seeing if anyone saw anything.
>Shiba sharpens his sword.
>I keep my damn trap shut.
>mantits comes back. Everyone he spoke to saw me and the Shugenja leave togother. No one saw or heard a thing after that, not even where we went.
>"People didn't see shit, people didn't hear shit. I say it was Ninjas!" Flawless logic from that wanabe Samurai there.
>Kistuki examines the Sake bottle I was drinking from last night. He says he found proof that it was spiked. Probably by a Ninja. Kitsuki's are pretty smart, so he's probably not wrong. I was framed as rapist by a Ninja.
>Shiba sharpens his sword
>I said I WAS FRAMED AS A RAPIST BY A NINJA!
>Shiba puts his damn sword away.
>Well, now that that's settled
>"Ahem. We're going to need some testimony on this, maybe someone confessing to drugging you. Otherwise as things stand..."
>Fuck my life.
>Begin the Ninja hunt.
>Start with waitresses
>grill those half people. Grill 'em good.
>First round of questions reveal that one of them has the hots for the proprietor's.son.
>I stare blankly
>Kitsuki thinks he knows what happened.
>Bring her back for round two
>Kitsuki lets her have it. Spins this batshit insane story about how she spiked my Sake for a guy, who promised he would smoth things over with the proprieter so she could marry the boy she liked.
>that is the most far fetched...
>She breaks down in tears, admitting it.
>I want to go back to the wall where things make sense.
>go find Water tit-tensai.
>Well this is awkward. But that's why I'm here.
>Apologize profusely for this whole mess.
>She gives me a smile that dosen't seem very sincere to me. Says it's not my fault so she dosen't blame me.
>I believe her.
>Tell her it's still okay to be pissed about this whole thing. We only cleared my name. Still no idea who was behind it, or why.
>There's that smile again.

>>52333407
Has this ever been said in the history of greentext threads?

>>52333605
He's typing it and I was offering encouragement.

>>52333590
>Our intrepid band engages in some more investigations, trails, and questions. I help by keeping my yap shut and punching things that try to run away when they get cornered.
>Heading to bathouse one eveaning.
>dead body on the bridge
>Well that's not supposed to be there.
>Hey, peasant, go to the inn and get the Kisuki would ya?
>I take a look without moving the dude. Big slice from shoulder to hip, almost cut him clean in two.
>Learned a thing or two about anatamoy and all that from a Kuni friend back home. I realize this guy was cut from behind.
>When the rest of the party gets there I shoo off all the lookie loos.
>Mention that it looks like the guy was cut from behind.
>Kitsuki confirms this.
>Not at all hard to find his killer. The dead guy was courting the city Governer's daughter.
>So was the Kakita that was in town.
>We confront said Kakita.
>He admits to the whole thing.
>But...
>Says it was a fair duel.
>BULLS....
>Shiba cuts me off
>Oh right. Testimony.
>This Kakita is farily high ranked himself. Our word vs his leaves the matter unresolved.
>The Shiba then says it.
>THAT IS BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE A MURDERER.
>Welp, it's on now.
>Shiba vs Kakita Iaijutsu duel at high noon.
>Why the hell did you stop me? I could have taken him.
>Incredulous stares.
>Well, if the duel proves that the Kakita was a murderer then he would be executed right? Or at least forced to commit sudoku?
>Well, yeah.
>So then the duel is to the death, right?
>yeah.
>Well I've just learned The Mountain Does not Move! I could have taken him
>More incredulous stares.
>I pout as I watch the Shiba and the Kakita stare at each other for way to long.
>Shugenja girl is doing her damndest not to fidget.
>should I put an arm around her? Better not.
>Steel gets drawn, flashes in the noon sun.
>Turns out the Shiba's connection to the Void was stronger.

>>52333922
>A wild Monkey appears
>We've made our way north, now in the lands of the Pheonix
>Shugenja informs us that her father is the lord a costal castle, suggest we stay there for a bit before continuing on.
>Warm castle. Futon. Bath. Sake. Yes plz.
>Meet and greet with her family. Her father the nastiest case of resting bitch face I've ever seen. And I'm friends with a Kuni that never washes off his face paint.
>Mom is normal enough. Seems a model Rokugani wife. I can see where our shugenja learned her manners.
>Younger brother, not yet enrolled at a School.
>Older brother, Earth Tensai, like their father.
>The plesantries drag on for fucking ever. Damn near everyone in our party is fidgeting a bit by now. Me and the Shiba are the only ones keeping still, but my legs have gone to sleep.
>Shugenja starts to shake a bit durring the meet n' greet.
>Dad switches bitchface from passive to active. My Sensei would kill to able to give look of disapproval like that.
>She swallows. Hard. Several Times.
>Finally he waves his hand in dismissal.
>As we're following the servents to the rooms he's giving us, I notice her lips are bright red.
>she dosen't use makeup.
>I stop, grab her shoulder and wipe her lip.
>blood.
>She was having another coughing fit, but instead of letting it come up like normal she choked it back as best she could, then swalloed the blood.
>I look her dead in the eyes. "Why?"
>By now, all of us know how to brew up her medicinal tea when she has her fits. I'm the only one who gives no fucks about propriety and holds her up when we're in public though.
>There's that damn smile again.
>"Oh, it wouldn't be good maners is all"
>Except she's coughed at plenty of times when it wouldn't be good manners.
>I want to press for more, but the Shiba is glaring hard enough to light my beard on fire so I let it drop.

>>52333605
Surprising, we haven't had anyone bitch about how greentext threads are the cancer killing /tg/.

>>52334362
GREENTEXT THREADS ARE THE CANCER KILLING /TG/

Obviously I'm joking.
This thread is nice.

>>52334268
>That night shit gets real
>I hear something that snaps me awake
>even after all this time away from the Wall, I still sleep in my armor with a powdered Wakizashi in my hands.
>But it's not Oni.
>It's flaming arrows
>coming from the sea.
>Or, more specifcally, the boats floating IN the sea.
>The Green and Gold boats.
>Looks like the Mantis have decided to have yet another go at the Pheonix.
>Well that shit's gonna be awkward later.
>Grab my Tetsubo, run down to the gate.
>Mantis Pirates are already swarming all over.
>We've got a real war on our hands.
>I do what Crabs do and rush to the thickest part of the fighting. The Crab are always in the Vanguard of a Multi-Clan force, after all.
>Draw a line in the dirt with my Tetsubo.
>Mantis come to a screeching halt, trying to figure out why there's a damn Crab in this Phoenix castle.
>They rush forward.
>I was born to do this. I've trained for this. I've fought on the wall against swarming hordes of chittering things and rotting corpses. Nothing can stand before my fury. The line holds.
>The Monkey comes to join me.
>BAM
>I'm on the ground spitting up my own blood and teeth.
>The Monkey drags me clear as the Mantis swarm about.
>Water Tensai uses her magic to knit my wounds closed. Not a scratch on me when i return to battle.
>Again, dominate the shit out of this battle. Where I walk, mantis bodies litter my path.
>Monkey comes to help
>BAM
>aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm down again.
>go away monkey you're bad luck.
>Don't you want me to get you clear?
>GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU GODAMN JINX!
>Drag myself into a corner, prop myself up into a cool sitting pose resting on my tetsubo. At least I look good.
>Somehow the others hold out and night ends with the Mantis being driven off.

>>52334471
>Come the morn
>Daddy dearist is in fine form, accusing us all of being spies sent ahead of the Mantis force.
>Because, you know, there's a Mantis in our group.
>And Emerald Magistrates do that kind of thing.
>And apparently his own Daughter.
>And the Crab who almost died, TWICE. you stay outside a ten foot radius of me at all times Monkey.
>The Kitsuki and the Shiba try, as gently as possible to point these things out to our irate host.
>Spare me your trivial facts, plebs. I rule this castle and I've already decided what happened! (I might be paraphrasing him a bit there.)
>Our little Shugenja starts coughing again.
>She can't hold it back this time, it's a pretty bad attack. After everything that happend last night I'm not surpised.
>I'm moving to catch her already.
>Her father is faster
>SLAP
>HOW DARE YOU SHAME ME LIKE THAT CHILD
>Mom stares on impassively
>Younger brother on the verge of tears
>Older brother hides behind his fan.
>We're all pissed. That's our little flower, our hana-chan. The gentlest, most kindhearted person we know. She's saved all our lives countless times with her magic, she has never once inflicted a single wound on anyone or anything, she endures a life of constant pain without a word of complaint.
>Now I know why she thinks so little of herself
>Now I know why her smile never really reaches her eyes.
>I'm a hairs bredth from becoming a murderer. I think the rest of our group will cover for me.
>She lays her hand on my arm. She knows what I'm thinking.
>She shakes her head.
>I restrain myself.

>>52334727
>Apparently his bout of child abuse has settled him down, like a drunkard getting his first swig of Shochu in a week. He lets the matter drop.
>Our Shugenja does a tea ceremony for all of us that night.
>I really didn't want to, since I'm pretty sure I always spin the bowl too much...or not enough, and because I really didn't like the idea of having her sit there and serve me tea after everything she's been through.
>But then I realized that being an Honorable person was just how she coped. So I went along with it.
>By the Fortunes that shit is bitter. Why the hell is it so bitter? It's supposed to be calming, right?
>I do feel calmer though.Huh.
>Never been much for propeity, so I just tell her I want to speak to her alone that night.
>She's taken aback. A maiden shouldn't be unacompanied with a man after all. But she said yes anyway.
>Deep breath.
>"So, you know how Crabs revere Strength, right? Because Hida was the Strongest of the Kami?"
>"But he still lost in the first round of the tournament the Kami held. That's because there's all kinds of Strength, and he just didn't realize it at that time."
>"Strength isn't just hitting things hard, or talking a crushing blow and cushioning it with you Earth and your armor. A reed is strong, because it yields to the hurricane and never gets uprooted."
>She gives me the weirdest look.
>"Uh, yeah. So anyway I'm trying to say that I think you're Strong. Really Strong. To be honest, I'm in awe. And maybe a little jealous."
>She tilts her head and blinks.
>"And I want to say, you're beautiful. Benten surely blessed you when you were born. And you strong..."
>fucking smooth there you dipshit. Just spit it out.
>I... I love you. I know I don't really have any property or anything...but I CAN trace a direct line back to Hida himself! I mean, my family split off from the main family back in the 8th century so like, half the clan would have to die before I would ever get even close to being the Hida family daimyo...

>>52332721
It must be raining...

>>52335029
>Dare to look up.
>She's crying
>ya blew it, you fucktard
>She throws her arms around me
>wat?
>Hugs me tightly.
>Dare to hope
>"You have been so kind to me, I always though it was just pity. Where have you been hiding this philosopher until now?"
>"Don't give me so much credit, I'm still the same idiot I've always been. I just see that having been born and raised a warrior it's not all that amazing that I'm good at it. You, on the other hand...
>"Have been born and raised to be a Shugenja, in the Clan that is best known for their Shugenja."
>"yeah but..."
>"Please, no more compliments tonight. My heart cannot take it."
>"Because I must turn you down."
>"My father would never approve."
>Contemplate murder for the second time that day.

File: IMG_0459.jpg (30KB, 292x257px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 292x257px

>>52335167
>contemplate murder for the second time that day
I love it

File: virgin loophole.png (110KB, 1840x627px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 1840x627px

>>52332359
DEUS VULT

>>52335167
>She's right about him though.
>And considering how she is an Honorable and dutiful Child she will do as her Father bids.
>Well, she's got other family members.
>Let's go see her mom.
>Find her mother engaging in some Ikebana.
>Realize I only know that word because of the time I've spent traveling with our Shugenja.
>Sit down politely and wait to be acknowledged.
>Think about what I'm here to talk about, decide to go full dozega.
>Mother pauses when I do that. Then goes back to her arrangements.
>arranging.intesifies
>arranging.intesifies
>arranging.intesifies
>arranging.intesifies
>arranging.intesifies
>I see, she's testing me. This family is fucking big on discipline. Fine.
>I'm going to show here that Crab's rep for being louts is due to how we cut loose when we're off duty. When we're ON duty however, not even the Lion can match our discipline.
>She gets up, leaves the room.
>Comes back.
>Sets down more flowers where I can see them out of the corner of my eye.
>Damn did she uproot her whole garden?
>Settle in muscles, we're going to be here a while.
>She decides to open the door to the garden. I can here some water trickling, followed by a TOK.
>water trickle
>TOK
>water trickle
>TOK
>water trickle
>TOK
>water trickle
>TOK
>As my bladder starts to protest, I can see EXACTLY how much flower arranging she intends to do.
>Damn, this bitch is merciless.
>The Shiba shared some techiniqes with me to help quite my mind. I use them to bolster my formidable stamina.
>Finally a "May I help you?" from mom.

>>52335444
>my spine cracks as I straighten up. Holy fuck I never would have guessed just holding still could hurt so much.
>Now to use subtle innendo and word play to dance around this sensitive topic while still conveying my point. I've seen the Kitsuki do that plenty of times in court.
>I wanna marry your daughter.
>NAILED IT
>"Whatever for?"
>I had plenty of time to guess how she would respond, and had readied several responses of my own.
>Whatever for? was not one I was prepared for.
>"What do you mean, whatever for? Isn't it obvious?"
>Her mother hid her face with the sleeve of her kimono. It was a nice Kimono, fine red silk with gold threads weaving in intricate pattern I couldn't even begin to trace out in my head.
>I wonder when it was that I started to notice other people's kimono's and feel embarrassed by my simple grey cotton one.
>"There is no need to be coy, Ishigaki-san. My daughter is ill. She is frail. Why would a Crab, of all people, want to marry someone like that?
>Oh this shit again. Fine.
>Explain what Strength REALLY means to mom.
>Her eyes, poking up over that sleeve go wider with each word. They threaten to engulf her whole head. By the time I'm finished I am talking to one giant eyeball.
>Given how disciplined this family is, it dawns on me just how shocking the depth of Crab philosophy is to the rest of Rokugan.
>I'm kind of pissed of that this is so surprising. >Pretty sure I didn't let that show.
>"So, anyway, I was thinking you might help me to convince your husband about this...
>She snaps back to normal in an instant, and her gaze frosts over.
>I've never felt the cold really, a gift from my Ancestor Osono-Wo, but I had to suppress a shiver at that chilly stare.
>"That will not be possible."

>>52332434
Paladinfag

>>52331522
This is the most amazing thing I have read in my life

>>52335690
>Mother sighs. A surpisingly heavy one.
>"My husband has many duties as the lord of this castle. He is also a candidate for the next Master of Earth. As such alliances must be made, and favors exchanged.
>Favors. He thinks of his daughter as a favor to be traded.
>I know that's how it works in Rokugan, but it's actually a bit rarer in Crab lands than you'd think.
>Most families let their kids find a spouse on their own, though if you're not married by the time your 25 the Family will step in and find you a spouse.
>It's because we've got a high attrition rate. We need lots of babies and couples who love each other a lot have lots of babies, it's as simple as that.
>We Crabs are a practical bunch, after all.
>Dejected I take my leave.
>Well now what? Her younger brother isn't even in school yet, and her older brother looked like a daddy's boy
>"I believe I can help you."
>HOLYSHITFUKWAT
>Old instincts kick in as I whirl to beat the shit out of whatever the hell managed to sneak that close to me
>Check myself just in time to ovoid killing her older brother.
>He stares calmly at my fist that's almost touching his nose.
>Smiles.
>"It's true what they say: 'When you wake a Crab, use a stick.;"
>Cough. Straighten. Regain composure.
>"As I was saying, I believe I can help you."
>"You need only point out how little my father truly stands to gain from arranging a marriage for my sister."
>Huh?
>He smiles at my look of confusion.
>"She has likely kept it hidden from you, the depths of her illness. The truth is my sister is unlikely to reach retirement age. Or even thirty.
>For that matter, her illness means that the rigors of childbirth... no even carrying a child in her womb would most likely prove fatal."
>The way he said all that with the smile still on his face creeped me the fuck out.
>"So, as she is no good for continuing a line, she would at best be relegated to marrying an old man with grown children. A plaything, if you will.
>Contemplatemurderagain

>>52336006
>"oh, I do hope you're not put off by all this!"
>"I realize that she's not worth much, but you would STILL be marrying up! You only need sequester her for a year or so while having a concubine bear your children, no one would ever know."
>Kissada-sama grant me the strength to persevere through this visit, that I do not commit double homicide and shame my Ancestors.
>At this point I wouldn't be surpised if the dad, older brother or both were maho-tsukai.
>Actually, kinda hopping at least one of them is.
>I manage to choke out a thank you to her brother for his "helpfull advice"
>And head for the Kistuki's room.
>mantits is there. Great.
>So is the Jinx.
>I spill my guts. Tell them everything I just went through. I need to know what the proper thing to do in this situation is, and I'm so far outside of what I consider normal I have no clue anymore.
>Do I win the aproval of my prospective father in law by reducing the woman I want to be my wife to useless goods?
>Do I grab her and elope?
>do I set this madhouse on fire and purge the Empire of the insanity that dwells within?!
>The mantis, with a roaring pasion that filled the room, told me to give up on her and try for someone else.
>The Monkey told me to elope, promised he'd cover for us.
>The Kitsuki asked me what SHE thought we should do.
>...
>...
>...
>"...I've... got to go do something real quick."

>>52336203
>Find Naomi, practicing her Caligraphy
>Sit down
>Relay the stories of how I spoke with her family.
>She looks up at me with those sad eyes.
>"I didn't want you to find out. But what my Brother says is true. I know how important a large family is to a Crab, but I will likely not be able to give you even a single child."
>"Wait, is that why you turned me down?"
>"Not just that, no. I must still respect my fath..."
>"BULLSHIT YOU DO."
>I'd had it.
>"That man treats you worse than an ETA. He shames himself, his house, your sensei and YOU by failing to recognize your talents. You're a fucking TENSAI! And I don't belive for one second that you couldn't have children. Water is the element of Healing, and Crabs all have a strong Earth! Our kids would be strong enough to live even if your illness makes it difficult! And I've got a friend whose a Kuni, he's always bitching to me about how every year they have to provide some new bit of lore or magical research in a big family meeting. I'm sure he'd love to work on some fortifying Earth magic to help!
>I
>love
>you

>>52330607
motha fucka those are the shmoos from lil abner

>>52336372
>Her father's face went from pink to crimson, to purple by the time she was done telling him her decision.
>It was the most satisfying thing I'd ever seen. No way I could keep the grin off my face as I watched a man I had come to detest more than any oni have an anurism.
>I thought I couldn't get any happier.
>then her father exploded in rage.
>He didn't say anything. He was too furious to speak.
>He just ran over to the little shrine at the far end of the room.
>And grabbed the katana that was there.
>and ripped it free of it's sheath.
>and pointed it at me.
>I almost had an orgasm
>I picked up my blade and strolled out into the garden, accepting his foolhardy challenge.
>I had just enough iaijutsu training that I could get my sword out in an instant if I needed it. My Kenjutsu technique was barely adequate for my Sensei to teach me the secret of Two Pincers, One Mind.
>But he was a Shugenja. An overly proud shugenja, but a Shugenja nonetheless.
>The look Naomi gave me as we took our stances is the only thing that saved his life.
>But I got my wife.

>>52332434
I'm not fond of necromancers being good as a cheap twist, but that picture is retarded. You can't just disregard a valid concern about productivity because "well you are just lazy". It's not about being lazy, it's about the actual power output. If golem can do the same work as a skeleton does, but requires ten times more work, skeleton is a choice you have to consider. Yes, it would be nice to always be able to use unquestionably good methods, but in practice resources, including wizardpower, are not unlimited.
I mean, the very same arguments can be used against ungodly abominations that are cars, fueled by ancient decomposed corpses, created by lazy shits who just don't want to walk and carry heavy stuff everywhere and killing millions of people every year.

Any successful writefags here? How do you feel when you see your greentext in one of those threads?

>>52336835
Eh, no. Cars are golems in this case. Skeletons are horses.

>>52337027
No, golems are cars, skeletons are cars running on baby seal blood.

>>52336891
Pretty great.

>>52336891
The only thing I wrote that made future rotations without me pushing them were those times I wrote Chris Orksen. Kinda funny feeling knowing I temporarily resurrected an old meme, but it does kinda depress how easily it worked.

I also laugh at the bastards who insist on their xenofucking. They may have convinced me once with digits, but no lightning strikes twice.

File: 1425844843213.jpg (91KB, 960x926px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 960x926px

>>52336891
I've had a few posts caped and reposted. Not greentext, just arguments that some anons wanted to reuse.

To me, seeing my own comment reposted is the highest form of praise. Someone, somwhere in this world found my words to be so valuable they decided to keep them, then share them with others. It's a tiny piece of immortality.

I had though I would be a little bit miffed about the fact that I would never be able to claim credit for anything reposted, but I wasn't. If anything the fact that it's anon makes me happier. This isn't an upvote because you had an upvote or fed someoneones opinion back to them. It's not someone following you and retweeting you because of which circle you move in. It's a faceless, nameless stranger judging that your words, on their own merit and devoid of any other consideration, are worth remembering.

Meanwhile, somewhere else on the internet...

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B2sFyCiOk8dYbW5iUzhENHhkR0k

File: 18608_929791573708695_775891886674816699_n.jpg (53KB, 720x710px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 720x710px

>>52337422

>>52337422
>Gets reposted in every greentext thread
>Drawfags draw it for free
>Now this
>I got my shit reposted once in a blue moon
At least the narrator is shitty.

>>52336514
Cool.
Got moar?

>>52336514
I was planning on calling it a night, but then I read some of the capped stories and decided to toss out a pair of quickies. I think they'll be quick, Sometimes things get away from me and I ramble.

>it's tradition that the Husband goes on a year long pilgrimage after getting married, to contemplate his new life.
>The husbands mother takes the new wife and teaches her everything there is to know about running a household.
>I don't have a mother anymore. Once there Seven of us. Mom, Dad, me and my four siblings.
>But our clan's never ending war took it's due from my family.
>I was the only one left.
>Naomi was in tears when I finished telling her this.
>Naomi's mother maintained her face though, and nodded in understanding.
>I shall fill in for your departed mother then, and teach my daughter what she needs to know. Do you manage any land?
>Sort off...?
>Mother in Law gave me a smile that I had learned meant 'the fuck dose that mean?'
>We did have a Jade mine, but it played out years ago.
>Ah, I see...
>I didn't elaborate on what that meant. The Jade in the Earth keeps it pure, safe from the taint. Many times, when the creatures of the shadowlands slip past the wall, they do so by burrowing through the tainted earth of an exhausted Jade mine.
>Such a thing was the main reason I was the last living member of my family.
>I was fortunate enough to be left for dead, by the swarm
>Though I still bear a scar across my face in the shape of an X. The lines intersect just above my nose and between my eyes.
>Most people flinch instinctively when they first see my face.
>So off I went, pilgriming away.
>really had no clue what the hell I was supposed to be doing, so I just went to a few random temples. Did hit up the main temples of Osano-Wo, Kissada, and Yakamo though.
>Always makes me feel good about how many divinities once walked Ningen-do as Crabs.

>>52337700
Keep it quick I said. Pffft. Should have known that was impossible.

>The colors of the Crab clan are blue, grey and black.
>After a year of temples and monks and praying my balls had gone through all three.
>Upon my return to my only slightly dilapitated home my new(?) wife attempted to give me the standard Rokugani greeting. No, just the first two. Naomi is a good girl after all.
>Welcome HomeEEEEEEEK
>I scooped her up, tossed her over my shoulder and headed inside
>The Kitsuki looked up from the tea he was sipping.
>Ah, Ishigaki. We've got a...
>nope
>busy
>Time passes
>Not as much time as could have passed, given my endurance, nor as much time as my balls wanted to have passed. But I wasn't about to kill my wife on our first time togother.
>though there was extra time spent cuddling. I was a full foot taller than her, and wide enough she could use me as a futon.
>Once I came back out blinding my party with afterglow they let me know what our next assignment would be.
>Serial Killer

>>52337956
>off we go, in ass end of fall trying to reach the city before the winter snows catch us.
>We get inside on the day of the first snowfall.
>Of course by the time we're there the last victim found had already been cremated and the scene cleaned up, so there was no way for the Kitsuki to get any leads using the usual methods.
>Interview time.
>I sat in and glowered whenever the Kitsuki tapped his fan on his right knee. I made a decent bad magistrate with my messed up face.
>No one ever seemed to see or hear anything out of the ordinary, just find a body one day.
>often in various states of decomposition, such that it was hard to know what had even killed them.
>Only the sheer volume of mysterious deaths led the local magistrate to conclude a serial killer was at work.
>Deducing that this was above his paygrade, he sent for the Emerald Magistrates.
>The local magistrate would have fallen over himself fawning over us, were it possible for something that round to fall over anything.
>So I guess he rolled over himself fawing over us.
>While I contemplated the fact that there existedd a human being shorter than me but twice as wide as me, with all the grace and speed of a drunken silkworm the Kitsuki tried to figure out what, if anything Blob-san could do to assist us.
>Being the genius that he was Kitsuki deduced that was provide extra bodies in the form of Yoriki should we need them.
>The Monkey and the Mantis, meanwhile were down in the seedier parts of town. Aparently the Mantis, like all his kind, was a merchant pretending to be a Samurai and knew how to deal with such people.
>The Monkey went along to bring the wrath of the Fortunes down on the Mantis, where it belonged.
>Our Water Tensai attempted to provide clarity at several of the crime scenes, only to find the local Kami had been chased off by something or other. So she tried some more specific spells. But something interfered with her magic.

>>52338239
>So know we know that someone, either skilled at magic or with a Nemurani of some sort, was killing people. And showed no signs of stopping any time soon.
>Winter had just begun, so no one was going anywhere for several months.
>The hunt is on.
>Unfortunately, nothing was forthcoming form the underbelly of the city.
>The Mantis was convinced that someone from that side of the world knew something, he just wasn't sure who.
>I proposed a game of who talks first, but the Kitsuki was of the mind that a massive disruption to the underworld would create to much chaos, making it HARDER to find the one we came for.
>So we all sat around scratching our collective heads until the next body showed up.
>On an impulse, I did something I hadn't in a while.
>I prodded the corpse with a finger of jade.
>The body smoldered, smoke tinged with the old scent of burning taint wafted through the room.
>Everyone's face had gone just little bit paler as the stared at me.
>looks like I get to take center stage again.
>horay

>>52338368
>step one, get all the Jade. All of it.
>No way to get Kuni Crystal.
>Fortunately we're able to scrounge enough Jade I don't think we need to go hunting obsidian. Proposing that would have gone over like a fart in front of the Emperor.
>Alright, you two. Send the mantis and the monkey on patrol. Your mission is to DISCRETLY touch this small bits of jade to people's skin.
>Our killer is either using a tainted weapon, or maho. Or both. Or is an Oni. Whichever it is, if they've gotten spoiled because no one know anything about unclean subjects like the taint, we might just get lucky and catch them this way.
>pfft, yeah right. This is a stupidly long shot, but I've got nothing better right now.
>Naomi you know how to check for spiritual imbalance and kansen, right?
>I'm not very good with Earth kami, but I do know the theory. I'll try.
>Kitsuki, Shiba, you're going to get the Yoriki ready. Grind up this jade for powder, show the Yoriki how to powder their yari, we might need them after all.
>Uh, neither of us have ever done this before.
>Fuck. Okay Shiba you go with Naomi, I'll stay her with Kitsuki and show you all how it's done. If you find something COME BACK and get us.
>One last thing. No one goes anywhere alone. Not even to take a shit. Keep an eye on your buddy AT ALL TIMES. Yes, ALL TIMES. And when the groups come back into contact everyone holds up a peice of jade to bare skin. No exceptions. Shapeshifters and skin stealers are a bitch and a half to deal with.
>I got them moving before they could ask me to clarify what I meant by skin stealers.
>ah yes, the other reason to make a Crab an Emerald Magistrate. Knowledge of maho and the shadolwands is taboo, so most Rokugani are woefully misinformed.
>Misinforemed though they were, the Yoriki still knew that Jade powder could only mean one thing. I did my best impersonation of my old Gunso and told them that if anyone of them spoke of what was going on they would ALL answer to me.

>>52338650
>the Yoriki decided to be more afraid of the Crab in front of them then the hypothetical Oni they may have to face and obeyed.
>good
>I was still holding out hope our quarry didn't know we we had found out it was tainted.
>everyone gathered at the magistrates as the sun began to set.
>The mantis and monkey had no luck, as I expected.
>Naomi, on the other hand, found Several places that were out of whack. (she used some elaborate and formal language I can't really remember but out of whack get the point across)
>We dug up a map of the city and had her mark them down.
>The Kitsuki realized something. Many of those places were at or very near where bodies had been found.
>Mind like a steel trap. Never forgets anything.
>He deduced that the places where Naomi found the distubances must be where the actual murders had been committed.
>He studied the map for a time.
>I think I can guess where our killer will strike next. There's a pattern here.
>Good, good. Stake out time!

>>52337283
What sets my pantaloons alight is when someone reposts stuff I've put together off-site, and people giving them praise/meaningless epeen points for it.

On the one hand, I guess that's helping to spread your words even further, and you should accept the praise the reposter garners as your own, but on the other I'm a petty individual that designed that bit of content for a small circle and didn't intend for it to provide much more than a quick laugh, nor spread beyond the selected scope.

A moment of self reflection on this dickishness has given me inspiration for how to go about conducting a holy war between a god of knowledge and a god of secrets, while the god of secrets despises the followers of both. /tg/ really is a magical place.

>>52338815
>In the middle of the night.All of us hidden in alleyways and rooftops.
>Monkey playing the drunken samurai bumbling about and singing off key.
>Left the Yoriki behind. Too many people.
>Still hoping our quarry doesn't know.
>Then we see her.
>my mother.
>Surpised hiss from Naomi next to me.
>What's my mother doing here?
>Look at her.
>You see YOUR mother?
>Yes, right there don't you see her?
>No. I see my mother.
>But your mother is dead...
>Yes.
>What does that mean?
>We should have brought the Yoriki.
>I knew what that was. It was an Oni that preyed on lone travelers, eating their hearts. No matter who looks at it, it looks like their mother. Worse than that, that damned thing had the power of Invulnerablity; it could only be harmed by magic or the three sacred substances. Jade powder was only good for two or three strikes before it was all worn off. We had enough powder for each of us, save Naomi, to coat a single weapon.
>I don't think we could kill it with only that much.
>It's already upon the monkey, who has no idea what's going on.
>too late now.
>I tell Naomi to tell everyone else to powder their weapons and follow my lead.
>And then I charged at the beast.

File: (D&D) Necromancy and Cheese.png (7MB, 5547x3344px) Image search: [Google]

7MB, 5547x3344px

>>52332659
I don't know if you are still around but I compiled this long while ago.

Open in a new tab, shit is huge.

File: Gormack_Sourbrow.png (601KB, 1245x1196px) Image search: [Google]

601KB, 1245x1196px

>>52332748
Art.

>>52338981
>If the Monkey was taken aback by a screaming Crab beating his mother with a tetsubo covered in Jade powder he recovered quickly enough.
>The fact that I had thrown aside any thought of my own safety, something I almost never did, was apparent to everyone there.
>They all quickly powdered their weapons.
>the Oni, enraged, tore into me.
>It was not braggadocio when I say that I could take twice the beating an average samurai could. Add to that my armor, the teachings of the HIda Bushi School, and my own resistance to pain and I am a very difficult person to injure.
>I was barely standing after the Oni's assault.
>Naomi. Small, frail Naomi ran up to my side in arms reach of the Oni, to heal me.
>The Oni saw that and knew right away who it had to kill first.
>Thank the fortunes the Shiba was faster.
>The Mantis sank both kama into it; the Monkey's grandfather scolded the Oni.
>the damn thing was barely slowed.
>I placed myself between it and Naomi. Continuing on my with my foolishness I attacked with reckless fury again. Two solid blows echoed through the snow filled alley. And my jade was spent.
>The Oni seeing me in it's way chose to remove me first. As I hoped it would do. I steeled myself and made ready to meet my Ancestors.
>I looked up from where I lay, surpised I was still alive, even awake. My body, however, would not move.
>The Mantis and Monkey attacked again, but their fear held them back from committing fully. >The Kitsuki knew what was at stake, but his skill with a katana was worse even then mine.
And so his blade failed to land.
>Our Jade was almost gone.
>The Shiba took a breath, and fell into a stance as though he were preparing to attack a straw target in a dojo.
>Again, life poured into my limbs as Naomi begged the Kami to save me.
>My mind was blank, my body moved on instinct. With the speed of no thought I did the only thing I could. I warped my arms around the Oni.

>>52339277
>the beast was taken off guard. I knew it could break my grip with ease, but still I held on.
>The Shiba took full advantage. Swimming deep in the void, he struck with a blade that was still fully powdered.
>the Oni sagged in my arms and almost took me to the ground with it.

Alright. it's two in the damn morning. If this thread is still up tomorow I'll finish post some more, but I"m done for tonight.

File: (D&D) Teasmith.png (286KB, 1303x2500px) Image search: [Google]

286KB, 1303x2500px

>>52339338
Cheers mate, it was a good read. I look forward to more.

If anyone recognizes my file naming scheme, I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while.

>>52335319
Underrated as always.

File: Sir Weyland.png (409KB, 1320x1738px) Image search: [Google]

409KB, 1320x1738px

>>52339074
>>52339454
>Those filenames
>That spoiler
Holy shit, it's the real deal. I think someone asked you this before, but asides from filenames do you use some sort of program to keep track of your images?

Posting Weyland to stay on-topic.

>>52337027
Golems are electrocars. Roughly the same power, but rare, harder to make, do not work on evil fuel made from corpses (presuming local power plants do not use the same fuel) and kill less humans.

Anyone got the "Heroes of the Spiderwoods"?

>>52341506
See >>52337422

File: Heroes of the Spiderwoods.jpg (5MB, 2538x3994px) Image search: [Google]

5MB, 2538x3994px

>>52341506
No, anon, nobody has the greentext that everyone reposts all the time.

>>52342521
>Natural 20 again
Stopped reading right there.

>>52339338
Giving this a (you) so that you know I want moar.

>>52330647
So uh, did the wizard, barbarian, and witch kick the shit out of the rogue?

File: Gastion in a nutshell.jpg (69KB, 500x540px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 500x540px

>>52331522

>>52343041
No, because this story obviously didn't happen. However, it's a nice parable with an important message that everyone should know.

File: (D&D) Stuffed Tarrasque.jpg (595KB, 1344x1342px) Image search: [Google]

595KB, 1344x1342px

>>52341181
Surprisingly not, though I should really look into that. The "curated" stories are 350 strong, but I've got some work to do in combining them and adding bits of art I've picked up, as well as dealing with the ever increasing unsorted folder.

File: When theres a Commissar in the party.png (81KB, 864x552px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 864x552px

There were new greentexts in that "when is PvP appropriate" thread worth saving, but I don't personally have the energy to cap any of the larger ones.

Threads here though: http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/52169268/ if anyone feels more industrious.

Can some kind anon hook me up with the greentext of the Dimwit firing a baby from a cannon?

>captcha: "silencioso ladys" - damn that would be nice sometimes

>>52339338
>They all sagged with relife as the Oni fell
>I had kept it's attention on me, for the most part, so I alone was wounded.
>But they had all strained themselves to their limits in that battle.
>But it wasn't over.
>NAOMI! We need pure water to cleanse this Oni blood off, NOW!
>Get to the temples, wake up everyone. We need salt, Shugenja, monks.
>I may have been going a bit overboard, but better safe than sorry.
>Evil is a physical thing. It seeps into our world from deep within the shadowlands, where the 9th Kami fell.
>It courpts everything it touches. Twisting once good people into mockeries of their former selves.
>It can linger on long after the orignal source is gone. Seeping into wood, even stone.
>The Wall is constantly under construction, because sometimes the bricks themselves become tainted and must be replaced.
>A tainted building could taint it's inhabitants. Such a thing would be very slow, especially with only a single Oni as the source of the taint this far from the Shadowlands, but it could hapen.
>The Crab have methods to reduce the risk of such things occurring, and contingency plans should the worst come to pass.
>The rest of Rokugan does not trouble itself with such unclean things.
>Excessive countermeasures it is then.
>I supervised the Eta as they boxed up the Oni's corpse. We took it outside the city walls and burned it downwind form the city
>as I watched the smoke dirft away I remembeed the story of Oni no Satsujinku with a shudder.
>I then had Naomi check myself and all the Eta for taint. I was glad none were infected, if only because I didn't want to have to behead one in front of her.
>Head back to meet up with everyone.
>Something is nagging at me.
>Run through everything I know about Yamuba again.
>invlunerable
>looks like your mother; good at infiltrating the Empire
>Prays on lone travelers and children.
>Eats hearts
>...
>shit

File: F5.gif (45KB, 207x237px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 207x237px

>>52344222

>>52344222
>Kitsuki-san, was there any mention of the victims missing their hearts?
>No, the reports were sparse on gory details. All they said was that the bodies were decomposed. Our last victim, however still had theirs.
>And no children have been killed?
>By the Fortunes no!
>We're not done yet.
>Sea of blank faces
>Yamuba, that's what that Oni we fought are called, they're cowards. It's true they're inuvlernable, but they attack from ambush, they prey on children. And they eat hearts. They DON'T drain chi and leave a withered husk like we've been finding, and they aren't as dangerous in combat as the one we faced.
>The Monkey was the one to ask what all that meant.
>When an Oni summoned, it must be given a Name. It must be Name owned by the summoner, or surrendered voluntarily by someone else. The Oni then subsists on the chi of the person whose Name it bears. It grows stronger, gains new powers.
>We have to find the Maho-Tsukai that summoned it.
>now the Mantis spoke up. How in the hell are we even supposed to do that? Wait for them to do something else? They're just going to lay low and slip out once winter is over!
>No, there IS a way.
>As I said, the Oni DRAINS the chi of the person whose name it holds. It sickens them, taints them even. At the very least, their spirit would be so disrupted that they would have extreme mood swings. And that Oni had grown very strong.
>We need only find someone who has taken ill.
>The Mantis went back to his seedy fellows, asking after anyone with a suden turn of ill health.
>The Kistuki, now with the job of babysiting our Jinx, did the same with the higher placed members of society
>Some monks take mercy to far. They are willing to hide the tainted, give them tea of Jade Petals. They think it is possible to restore the spiritual balance of a tainted person the way they would fix any other imbalance.
>I told Naomi this, and asked her to check all the temples. The Shiba went with her. She was kind, he could be firm.

>>52344561
>I wandered the streets.
>I checked out teahouses, resturants, inns, bathouses and brothels.
>every place I could think of to find a Witch Hunter.
>I was taking another long shot, hoping against hope that someone more suited to this task may be in the City.
>While I was well versed in the creatures and dangers of the Shadowlands, I knew only enough about Maho to recognize it when I see it.
>I had already exhausted my knowledge on the subject, and it was only due to my familiarity with Oni that I knew even that much.
>Of course, I was also deliberatly moving alone, and being visible.
>The Tsukai would know their Oni was dead. Being the Crab, it would naturally make me the biggest threat.
>A Crab must be strong, so that all of Rokugan can take shelter behind them. I knew my Duty.
>I failed to find any one who could help, and the Tsuaki, wherever they were, did not take my bait.
>The Kitsuki learned nothing.
>Naomi found no temples hiding our quarry.
>The Mantis though came through.
>Though he adamntaly refuse to discolse how he came by this information, the boss of the Cities only gang had indeed taken ill.
>The Kitsuki tapped his fan to his lips at that.
>Of course, we had no idea where the boss was.
>But Blob-san did indeed know of a resturant the gang used as a front.
>So we gathered the Yoriki, stormed into the place, and played who talks first.
>The Shiba took the head of the winner with a quick, smooth cut. The loosers were taken back to Magistrates to await a less pleasant end.
>Naomi ran outside to throw up.
>We had always done our best to shield her from the harsher truths about keeping the Emperor's laws, but we were just too pressed for time to do so now.
>There was no telling what a cornered Tsukai might do, we HAD to catch him as quickly as possible.
>Racing through the streets we made it to the Inn run by the gang where the boss was hiding
>I stormed through the rice paper door on the outside, tetsubo in hand, not even bothering to open it

>>52344882
>the silence was deafining
>There was dust on the floor.
>only a few tracks in and out.
>hear a rattling wheeze from in the back.
>I am here
>Okay, he's inviting us in?
>What's he planing?
>With the Yoriki surounding the place we moved in.
>A wasted husk that might have once been human layed on a futon.
>I'd seen zombies that looked healthier.
>Please, please kill me.
>A bony hand attached to an arm so emaciated it was practically skeletal raised up, beseeching us to end it.
>Summoning an Oni is never a good idea. I guess you see that now.
>I did not.
>Why lie at this point.
>I did not.
>The Kitsuki stepped in.
>Ishigaki-san. You said an Oni must be given a name, but you suggested it does not have to the name of it's summoner, correct?
>Yeah, if someone can be tricked into giving up their name willingly, or if you own the Name your giving.
>Own?
>Uh-huh. Yeah, a Lord owns the lives of their Samurai, so they could give an Oni the name of one of their vassals, or if a Tsukai saved the life of another person..
>Like, say, a corupt magistrate NOT executing a criminal he caught in exchange for a cut? Would that work?
>...
>...
>...
>...MOTHERFUCKER

>>52345031
>We raced back to the Magistrates
>And walked into hell
>While we were gone Blob-san had taken it upon himself to do his job and execute all the gangmembers we captured.
>Now the courtyard was full of porcelain masks.
>We venerate our Ancestors with every thought and deed. Our souls are born into this world, we live, learn and die. Emma-O then sends our souls to another relm to shed any negative Kharma before we are reborn. If we do it right, we're reborn into a higher social caste, and if we get THAT right, we get to dwell in Yomi, becoming one of the blessed Ancestors ourselves.
>Undeath flies in the face of both those things. Cheating Kharma, and turning your own Ancestors into abominations.
>There is nothing more abhorrent.
>Should you touch dead flesh, and then perish unclean, you will reborn as an Eta.
>To fight the undead, you must risk your very place in the Celestial Order.
>And so it was little surpise that I, and I alone, was unmoved by this ghastly scene.
>Fortunatly, zombies are slow, shambling and weak.
>They ARE difficult to put down for good; you must destroy their head or remove their mask. They feel no pain, hunger, thirst, or fatigue. A severed hand will drag itself with it's fingertips and try to grasp and claw.
>And as I said, they are TERRIFYING to all right thinking Rokugani.
>As an obstacle, they are a fine choice.
>The Yoriki were useless, half of them couldn't even keep a grip on their Yari. Some ran, others were too frightened even to do that. More than a few soiled themselves.
>My companions were little better off.
>I could see the white knucke grip of the Shiba, trying and failing to draw courage from his Grandfather's soul.
>The Monkey and the Kitsuki stared with mouths open. Blades forgoten in their sayas
>Naomi's legs gave out.
>A sheen of sweat glistened on the Mantis' brow as he readied his Kama.
>For once I couldn't bring myself to mock him

>>52345441
>I felt no fear; fear is a sin after all.
>The magistrates office had a wall runnign all around it, with an opening in the front for a gate.
>Just past the gate was the courtyard
>one of the zombies had fallen into the koi pond
>I took my place in the center of the open gate, and I readied a Kata taught by the Hida bushi school.
>I would not be moved, no enemy would pass me. I would become a wall myself.
>The grim tide surged at me.
>I was surounded instantly, the rotting thngs clawing and scrabbling, trying to find purchase on my armor.
>They could not.
>I paused just long enough to wonder at my serene calm, before I methodically began to raise my Tetsubo and strike. The masks which gave them life acting as targets.
>Through sheer weght of numbers, the undead were able to get past my armor, but the wounds were little more than shallow scrapes. I knew I would win eventually, even if I had to this all alone. It was only a mater of time.
>But then my allies rallied themselves and joined me.
>Then something amazing happened.
>a torrent of water rushed past me, bowling over a half dozen zombies and tearing great chunks off of them.
>My Hana-chan, who had never so much as spoken a cross word in all the time I'd known her, was standing there with a scroll in her hand and a snarl on her face.
>It would seem spitting in the face of the Celestial Order was where she drew the line.
>THAT served to prod even the Yoriki that renamed into motion.
>Eyes wide with fear, tears and snot running down their faces, they nonetheless took up their Yari and charged.
>Impaling the zombies on the points of their lances two or three Yoriki would push a zombie to the ground while another or one of my companions stepped in to finish it.
>We cleared out the courtyard.

I was afraid the oni summoner was going to be Naomi, cause she was the only one wasting away. Didn't line up, but it would have been a hell of a twist.

>>52346225
It's the dad maybe?

>>52345888
>inside we found Blobtsukai-san.
>And we saw what he had been buying time to do.
>Many Tsukai, upon summoning an Oni, get a fairly random result. Often a thing that has yet to ever walk in Ningen-do. The oni then takes it's name and grows in power until the one whose name it bears is consumed.
>But a tsukai with knowledge or skill can call forth an Oni that already exists, getting exactly what they want.
>Blobtuskai-san had called forth a replacement for the Yamuba we killed.
>It was an Oni no Tsubaru spawn. How fitting.
>NOW TAKE MY NAME DEMON, AND SLAY THESE PEOPLE THAT WANT TO HARM ME!
>Oni no Blobtsukai-san teleported over to us.
>We took to long getting here. Now we were staring down another invulnerable Oni, this one a true monster that would swallow us whole, damning our very souls to an eternity of torment in it's sizeable gut.
>I waved the others to step back, and struck it with my Tetsubo. No effect, of course.
>It reached out with it's massive claws to seize me.
>I let it.
>I then took the finger of jade I always wore around my neck, held it between my fingers, and punched the Oni. Driving the jade right into it's eye.
>I did it again.
>Oni no Tsubaru spawn are too fat to move around on their own. They teleport themselves.
>They must be able to see where they are going.
>As all eyes turned stared at this turn, the Monkey ran up behind the slightly less fat fuck and put an end to him once and for all.
>As we were in the magistrates office, all the jade powder we had prepared was readily available.
>It took some time, with us darting in and out of the things reach, but being blinded it could not catch us, nor run away.
>Two Oni in one day. Not a bad day's work.

Now I again want to play L5R.

>Of course there were still questions that needed to be answered.
>how long had Blobtsukai-san been a Maho Tuskai?
>Where did he get such knowledge in the first place?
>Why the hell would he call for people to come investigate his own crimes?
>And why were ALL the bodies dessicated? Even if the Yamuba had gained the power to drain chi, that would have taken time. It would have eaten hearts until then, or perhaps even continued to do so.
>As we sat around a tea pot, mulling over these questions, a memory stirred.
>There was another time when we "sovled" a case without getting all the answers.
>We never did find the Ninja that tricked the teahouse girl into druging me, nor find out why the hell they would even do that to begin with.
>The Mantis snorted, insisting that there were bound to be times things like that happened.
>The Monkey, more politely, agreed that I was overthinking things.
>Naomi just blushed at the memory.
>meanwhile the Kitsuki was practically chewing on the end of his fan, and staring at nothing.
>I knew his manarisms enough that I could spot when he was thinking, and he was thinking as hard as I'd ever seen right now.
>In the end, we did find two scrolls bearing maho on them.
>One for the ritual to summon an Oni, and the other for calling forth the undead.
>nothing to explain the unnatural desiccation.
>We reluctantly concluded that Blobtuskai-san called for Emerald Magistrates as an alabi, a way to preemptively clear himself of any suspicion in this mater.
>Long ago, when he was still a Yoriki himself, he had caught the man who would become boss of the gang.
>Blobtuskai-san made the boss an offer. I let you go, you give me intel on the gangs.
>And so the corupt Yoriki rose to prominence with the help of his inside man. He bacome the magistrate, and used the powers of his office to remove the former leaders of the gang, placing his pawn in charge.
>he then cracked down on all the rival gangs, until only one gang ruled all the vice in the city.

>>52346618
>And that one gang paid him tribute.
>The Kitsuki retired to go over all the old reports and paperwork, double and tripple checking everything.
>he enlisted the Mantis, Monkey, and Shiba to assist conducting interviews with everyone even tangentally related to any of Blobtsukai-san's cases, hunting for the discrepency that may point to the truth.
>I, meanwhile, took my wife on a picnic.
>Bundling her up in extra layers to keep her warm, we rode out of town a ways to sit and be alone together.
>She fed me slices of cucumber, served me tea, and snuggled up in my lap while playing a konto.
>It was just too perfect, too adorable, too soothing after everything we had just been through.
>I couldn't resist, and neither could she.
>The blood of the Fortune of Fire and Thunder in my veins kept me warm, and my body kept her warm as we made love in the snow.
>She felt the chill just enough that her nipples could cut steel.
>We snuggled up under a mountain of blankets and and our kimono's and slept.

>>52346243
>>52346225

With how things developng at least one of you must be right. Calling on dad.

>>52346785
>I awoke to something being out of place
>I was sruprised that my first instinct was no longer 'grab weapon and smash' but rather 'Is Naomi okay?'
>She was, sleeping soundly. She would stay that way for a while.
>She had confessed to me that she loved the fact I was able to push her to the limits of her endurance, but also attentive enough that I never pushed her past those limits.
>As the fog of sleep lifted off of me, I realized what had woken me.
>Voices.
>There were people nearby
>I slid myself slowely on top of Naomi, just in case someone had the bright idea to stab into our little makeshift tent, and listened.
>Damn looks like they ate all the food already.
>Shit. Slim pickings this winter.
>We could take the horse, at least. Eat it, if we have to.
>Where the hell did they go, anyway?
>bandits. Great. I guess it's just too much to ask for a nice quite fuck with the wife while everyone else is off doing work.
>Of course, just because life away from the wall had softened my rougher edges, I was still a Crab. I was never far from a weapon.
>As I expected, the sight of a 6ft+ man, covered in scars, with long wild hair erupting from the snow and brandishing a tetsubo took them by surpise.
>oh, and I was still stark naked.
>I could tell by the looks on their faces that I had won.
>I began to teach them what hapens when you come even a little bit close to thereating my wife
>At first, they overconfident. emasculated, but over confident. Then they struck my bare flesh, and saw that a true descendant of Hida can take a blow just fine even without their armor.
>HOLY SHIT THAT GUY NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS!
>k, grabing you now.
>As the rest run off I pull the mouthy one in real close.
>I'm still naked, btw
>What did you just say?

>>52347223
>He spilled his guts. Wasn't much, but a dude (no name given, of course) had told this little band of theives roughly where we would be, and that we would be easy prey.
>I made him describe the man as best he could. Three times, just to check for discrepancies, as the Kitsuki would.
>Satisfied, I spilled his guts. Hey, he's a bandit after all. We were just going to execute him anyway.
>Glancing back over my shoulder to make sure Naomi was still sleeping (she was) I nudged the bodies away with my tetsubo and kicked fresh snow over the bloodstains.
>Didn't want her to wake up to THAT mess.
>I got dressed, made a nice pot of warm tea, and woke Naomi.
>Thank the Fortunes she was still groggy and not paying attention.
>I gave her some tea to warm her up, helped her get dressed so her obi wouldn't be tied in the front (Only whores do that) and got her away from that place as fast as possible without raising her suspicions.
>The Kituski was excited upon our return.
>He had something. A small thing but he was sure it was important. A stranger no one seemed to know had been seen having tea with Blobtuskai-san a few times before the murders began.
>I pulled him into another room and, after swearing him to secrecy, told him what happened on our little picnic, and what I learned.
>I could hear the click form his head as pieces snapped into place.
>He called a meeting, gathering us all up.
>He summed up everything we knew about our hidden manipulator, managing to gloss over how exactly he got the info I gave him, and then laid it out in plain Rokugani.
>We have someone, likely a Ninja and probably a Maho-Tsukai who has hated us since we first came together and is trying to manipulate events to kill us! Not only that, but he's probably connected in some way to our superiors!
>How do you figure that last bit?
>Becuase otherwise there would be no point to what happened here in this city. Any group of magistrates MIGHT have been sent. He made sure, it was US.

>>52341321
Are we forgetting the binding elementals to make golems work thing.

>>52347505
>the Mantis is less then thrilled at this idea.
>Which one of you pissed of the Ninja Blood Sorcerer then? If he had it for us from the day we met, he must have a hate on for ONE of you from before we met!
>Sure it's not you he was after?
>Or course not!
>Try though we might, none of us can think of any enemies that old who could do this.
>But the Kitsuki is right about him being connected to our superiors in some way.
>Time to start mapping out relationships.
>Stuck in the city we as we were, we were forced to rely on letters and the daring fools that would take letters long distance to begin laying the groundwork for our investigation.
>Otherwise the time was quite peacefull.
>I discovered my sweet Hana-Chan had quite a voracious appetite, much to my delight.
>Perhaps those long years of being starved for true love by her family contributed to this.
>In the middle of winter, the Kitsuki's sensei showed up.
>I walked into our new headquartes, the former magistrates offices, one day to see him doing a full dozega before a white haired old man and getting a fairly nasty tongue lashing.
>The words YOUR ANCESTORS ARE WEEPING were used.
>nope
>not touching that
>I went to the kitchen to get some rice balls.
>When Kitsuki stumbled in, I proffered one and asked what the hell that was all about. Did he get pissed we were snooping on our superiors?
>No, he dosen't know about that so could you keep it down?
>Then what...
>He's upset with my Kenjutsu.
>hah?
>He left from the Dragon lands about the same time you got back from your pilgrimage. He knows nothing about what happened in this city yet.
>But it would seem everyone thinks my Kenjutsu is horrible, and that as a magistrate I should be able to defend myself better.
>But am I really that bad?
>Ummm. You're worse than ME.
>Well, it looks like you all will have to take over the investigation. I'm going to be getting some "special training" from Sensei.
>...that sounds...
>DONT. SAY. IT.
>I chuckled as I left.

>>52347549
Given that other forms of power/energy are produced by hydroelectric dams, solar fields, wind farms and geothermal tapping, I'd say calling electric cars golems made by binding elementals pretty accurate. But your point still stands, just because it is not undead doesn't mean it can't have negative side effects.

File: (L5R) Crazy Crane Waifu.png (462KB, 1255x1675px) Image search: [Google]

462KB, 1255x1675px

>>52347775
At some point I'll take the liberty of screencapping this. There are precious few L5R screencaps.

>>52347775
>Time passed
>Sensei was pretty damn rough.
>I happened upon Kisuki-san in the bath once, and he was covered in welts and bruises.
>If I didn't know any better I'd swear he was learning Mountain Does not Move.
>aparently Sensei's "Special Training" boiled down to "Beat my student until he learns to get out of the way."
>You sure this guy isn't a Crab?
>because these training methods seem familiar.
>The monkey snickered at this.
>maybe an Oni stole Kitsuki-san's sensei's skin!
>Kitsuki bolts upright
>Ishigaki-san, You DID say soemthing about skin stealers, yes?
>um... yeah. Bog hags are the most common type but some shadowlands creatures can flay a person and wear their skin as a disguise...
>would they still be vulnerable to jade?
>Yeah, the skin gets tainted after being worn for long enough, so the Jade will still burn.
>Later that night
>YOU TAINTED BASTARD!
>SCREAM
>WHAM
>THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
>I exhange a glance with Naomi.
>what the actual fuck is going on
>We rush to see what's hapening.
>Kitsuki, Mantis and Sensei are there.
>Sensei is on the ground, clutching his abdomen
>Sensei's face is green
>Kitsuki and Mantis are looking confused.
>explain this shit.

>>52330600
Aw man, my eyes sure have been watering a lot today.

File: 1487724493181.gif (2MB, 296x296px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 296x296px

>>52348009
Oh shit.

File: d'awww.gif (517KB, 500x265px) Image search: [Google]

517KB, 500x265px

>>52347927
I've never seen this one. it's precious as fuck.

>>52348009
>Kitsuki-san, considering how strange it is that someone would set out on a journey so far and so close to Winter, and factoring in our faceless nemesis with ties to our superiors, came to suspect his own sensei.
>So a test of Jade was in order.
>Alright, so far I can see where your coming from.
>but why is his face green.
>Knowing that Sensei was also a Kitsuki, Kitsuki-san felt there was no hope of being able to do this descreetly. Sensei's eyes see all.
>So... why is his face green.
>Kitsuki-san and Mantis asked Sensei to come to the room being used as a dojo.
>they waited just behind the door.
>When sensei opened the door, mantis used the element of surprise to throw jade powder at sensei.
>then sensei screamed, so Kitsuki hit him with a boken.
>OF COURSE I SCREAMED YOU COLOSSAL DUNCE YOU THREW A POWDERED MINERAL INTO MY EYES!
>It's true that Kitsuki-san did make logic leaps and conclusion jumps from time to time.
>But he was usually right, or ver close to it.
>this time though...
>this time...
>Naomi tended to Sensei's injury as I helped him to his feet.
>As we were already touching, I went ahead and pulled him in close
>Conspiratorial whisper
>Look at it this way, you know and I know a real battle isn't like a Kenjutsu match in a dojo, right? Why don't you just write this off as him trying some real life trick to make up for his lack of skill?
>Sensei, clearly displeased by my arm around his shoulder, considered.
>Fine. take your hand off me.
>whew.
>the rest of that winter passed without incident.
>Kitsuki-san's swordsmanship noticeably improved.

File: (L5R) Uncle Iroh.jpg (324KB, 1540x1060px) Image search: [Google]

324KB, 1540x1060px

>>52348148
I only have one other in my collection. It is something I intend to fix someday.

>>52332631
I almost believed it until the last post. Ohh well I suppose. A semi-worthwhile waste of time.

>>52347927
Funny you should bring up a story like that, as you'll soon see.
>>52346910
It took several years in game for us to root out who our behind the scenes BBEG was. If you guys really want to know I'll have to do some time skips.

>>52348226
>As the first weeks of spring roll in, Monkey gets a letter from back home.
>GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!
>Congratulations, Monkey! I'm sure you'll make a fine little housewife!
>Monkey sits there with a thousand yard stare.
>I said IM SURE YOULL MAKE A FINE LITTLE HOUSEWIFE.
>Monkey sits there with a thousand yard stare.
>poke
>monkey
>poke
>monkey
>poke
>your a woman, monkey
>Moneky sits there with thousand yard stare.
>Okay, so I'm just...going...to take...this LETTER... out of your hands here.
>Where are going now?
>We pack up our things, acquire a palanquin for Naomi so the journey is easier on her and head back to the Monkey's home.
>Eventually, with enough needling from everyone else, the Monkey admits he hates his fiance.
>Considering how my married life has been going, I find that a bit silly. Set to work telling him how great
>No, you don't understand! She hated ME first! She dosen't want to get married to me, and is making my life hell so I'll call it off!
>uh. so why don't you?
>How else am I going to find a wife? My family owns one, ONE rice paddy!
>Hey at least your holding is producing, all I've got is a hole in the ground.
>Look, your worrying about nothing. Just relax and let the love master teach you everyting you need to know to melt a woman's heart!
>And after she kicks you in the junk for following a Crab's advice, you could turn to me.
>Kitsuki-san seems to have recovered form sensei's "lessons" if he's joining in the banter again.
>I am far more eloquent, after all.
>That night.
>Eating dinner.
>Naomi asks to speak with me.
>Yeah?
>So... um. I'm late.
>Late? for what?
>No, Ishigaki-kun. I'm. LATE. By about two months...

>>52349071
>It took several years in game for us to root out who our behind the scenes BBEG was. If you guys really want to know I'll have to do some time skips.

I'd rather you tell it at your own pace, this thing is glorious.

>>52349071
>are...are you
>being at a loss for words is not a new experience for me.
>being so happy I can't speak properly however, is.
>I once bragged about how great a samurai I would become at the School, and so my Sensei gave me a nice heavy log to carry on my back as I ran around said school. After all, this is nothing to a great Samurai.
>I ran until my head went light and my knees turned to jelly.
>This was the same feeling, only it was very pleasant.
>I looked up at Naomi with the bigest, dopiest grin I've ever worn.
>Not sure when I sat down, but I must have because my ass was firmly planted on the ground.
>Cmere you.
>Snag
>kyah
>Cuddle
>Ishigaki-kun everyone is staring!
>let them. They're just jeolous I have the best wife in Rokugan, and NOW I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER!
>Surpise from the rest of the party, since I said it loud enough for them to hear.
>congratulations
>Naomi is worried about what her brother said.
>Hey! Hey. You're going to be okay. Kuni-san is working on some things right now, and we're bound by the red string of fate now. In this life and the next, I will love you. My strength is your strength; your strength is my strength.
>She smiles, allowing herself to be reassured.
>We reach the Monkey house

>>52349454
>The Monkey family is a about what you would expect from some Toku bushi.
>his dad looks, dresses, and even speaks like a farmer. Only the wakizashi tucked into his obi gives away any sign of his status.
>His mother, at first glance, seemed a serene housewife. But the callouses on her hand and the faint scar on her chin spoke of a time when she was a Samurai-ko, before her marriage.
>From the way she moved I could tell she continued to practice her Kata daily.
>Now to meet the fiance. Let's see what all this fuss is about.
>And she gives a polite greeting. Very formal, perfect etiquette. Already wearing a kimono in the Monkey clan's colors, so I've no clue which clan she came from.
>give the monkey a quzzical look.
>He's gone pale and is sweating bullets.
>introductions get passed around
>...and this is Hida Naomi...
>I suddenly feel on edge
>...Ishigaki-san's wife.
>the feeling is gone.

>>52349621
>dinner time.
>Plain ass rice.
>one tiny fish, mostly bones.
>three slices of cucumber.
>I contemplate how rude it would be to add some of my travel rations to my plate.
>As is often the case when contemplating matters of etiquette, if I want to do it I probably shouldn't.
>Dinner conversation.
>I can engage in polite small talk without embarrassing everyone around me now.
>Play dumb and keep with the small talk whenever anyone tries to get me to speak of wheighter things.
>Fiance has some questions for me though. And Naomi.
>She want's to know all about married life, how we met, who arranged our marriage. Very much interested in the business side of things.
>you know, the part we skipped over because we were genuinely in love.
>Monkey's parents smilled at that confession and shared a glance. Fiance covered her mouth with her hand and didn't speak to either me or Naomi the rest of the night.
>In the morning we learn we're going to the castle of the Monkey's lord.
>This is, it turns out, a big to do.
>Lots of strings were pulled, many favors exchanged to get this Monkey engaged.
>To a Shinjo woman.
>Despite her family being known for producing bushi, there were no callouses on her hands. Her skin was quite creamy, so she clearly spent little time out of doors.
>I was surprised to learn a pampered Hime-san could come out of the Unicorn clan.
>After entering the castle, we bathed to wash the dust from the road off. then met back up for tea.
>Naomi was blushing all the way to the tips of her ears when she came back from the baths.
>She saw me look, gave a little not now head shake.
>Hime-san is sitting next to the Monkey.
>He's staring at his food.
>Whenever a serving girl comes over to add a new dish, I get that weird sense of danger.
>It always leaves as quickly as it came, but I can tell I'm not the only one who feels it.
>The serving girls are almost rude in their haste to leave the table.
>Okay...I think I see what's going on here.

>>52349621
we better get a god damn full collection of these posts all together in one image after this story is done.

>>52349878
>That night
>Me and Naomi
>So what was it that had you blushing so bad?
>She's just... well...
>Naomi was not one to speak ill of others. I gave her shoulder a squeeze to encourage her to let her feelings out.
>She's so...RUDE.
>how scathing.
>She kept qeustioning about what it was "really" like being married to you! She called you a brute! She insunated that I must be miserable having to... to... you know. stuff. bed. mumble. blush.
>Yeah, stuff. Bed. We're a pair of kinky degenerates after all.
>But if she keeps being that adorable I may have to do some more bed stuff with her.
>I had to leave before I slapped her!
>whoah.
>Naomi was serious.
>She saw my surprise
>Well, she was speaking badly of you. I did not like that.
>That's it, switch flipped. Bed. Stuff. Now.
>Yelp
>What about...
>they're just going to have to learn to deal with it. this is happening.
>giggle. You are so bad!
>A new day dawns.
>Sitting down with everyone I lay out what I think is hapening.
>Hime-san has it in her head that marriages are never happy affairs.
>And she's making it clear that if she isn't happy, you don't get to be happy. She seems to think that sex is the only thing that makes you happy, which is why she gives that discreet aura of menace off whenever a woman gets near you.
>And how in the hell do you even know that?
>Shiba is the one to cover for me. It makes sense given what she's done so far.
>The shock value of him speaking up alone is enough to quell any further questions.
>So what do we do?
>What do you mean WE? This is your problem Monkey.
>waitno guys cmon help me out here! You gotta do something! Anything!
>Look, just convince her she's wrong.
>HOW?!
>Holy shit do I have to draw you a map? She thinks sex is only fun for men, that's why she's so pissed. She sees herself being treated like a brood mare. So woo her. Or give some great sex! Either way, convince her you see her as more than an more than a incubator for your children!
>Naomi blushes.

File: 1428144906860.png (162KB, 255x255px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 255x255px

>>52350142
Going out for dinner. More later. This thread or the next.

File: 1486322544270.gif (3MB, 480x320px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 480x320px

>>52335690
>>Now to use subtle innendo and word play to dance around this sensitive topic while still conveying my point. I've seen the Kitsuki do that plenty of times in court.
>>I wanna marry your daughter.
>>NAILED IT

>>52350248
I'll take that pic thank you. Also I agree with this guy. >>52349260

>>52350142
>That night four adult men and one adult woman were crouched in the bushes of the palace garden
>I cannot believe we are doing this.
>Shh, Naomi. You want them to hear us?
>We watched from our hiding spot as Monkey tried to court Hime-san.
>Why won't you believe me? I'm telling you I don't think of you that way!
>He had just spoken plainly.
>It was going as well as you would immagine.
>HAH! Your LORD aranged this marriage, then spent years giving you prestigious posts you don't even deserve to keep my family from realizing how bad an Idea this is!
>ouch
>or are you really trying to suggest that you love me? This is only the third time we've met!
>oof
>Of course I do not love you! I don't even know you! But we can respect one another, can't we?
>You speak of respect? You expect me to stay in that hovel and watch over your rice paddy while you go out drinking in the arms of Geisha every night!
>You expect me to sit at home and get fat with child while you claim credit for your friends hard work to glorify your own name!
>yamate! yamate Hime-san! He's already dead!
>For that mater, everyone just expects it of me to bear children! No one ever botherd to ask if I even WANT children, let alone what it takes to make one!
>And you have the brazen GALL to speak to me of Respect!
>it..its okay if you dont want kids. I wont force you or anything...
>Oh how GRACIOUS of you! And you will anounce this to everyone at the ceremony then? So that others know not to press the issue with gossip and barbed questions?
>Hime-san would know all about barbed questions, clearly.
>I actually felt sorry for the bad luck Monkey. Caught between his duty to his lord and this vindictive woman.
>Angry at the world and lashing out at the nearest target.
>Naomi tugged on my sleeve
>with a nod of her head she suggested we leave
>and so we did.

>>52352042
>as we sat around the teapot the Mantis voiced the question in all our heads
>why are we trying to help the Monkey with his relationship woes, again? Aren't there bandits or something we could be killing?
>Now that he says that, it HAS been a while since we've been in a fight. Perhaps I should check my riceball for Ninjas.
>Naomi looked around
>Have we not shared triumph and tragedy together? Are we not joined by a common bond or duty and of friendship? Of course we should help him with his woes; he is our friend.
>And? How do you propose we do that, excactly?
>I didn't find any Ninjas in riceball. I found the lack of riceball Ninjas deeply suspicious.
>I examined another riceball, just to be sure.
>That's when I realized Naomi had been staring at me.
>What?
>I swiped a hand at my beard, in case some rice had fallen into it.
>Ishigaki-kun, do you really not see?
>See what.. Ninjas?
>Nin.. No. I am not going to ask.
>The root of the problem is that Hime-san is under the impression that because certain things are expected of her, they could not make her happy. It is simply the apparent lack of choice she takes issue with.
>The Monkey threw himself down before Naomi
>Oh great Naomi-sama! Please! This one begs you to speak to Hime-san! Convince her of your wisdom, I beg of you!
>Well that was the most absurd thing I'll see all day.
>Naomi looked at me.
>I looked at her.
>EVERYONE looked at her.
>Naomi sighed.
>Three days later, the Monkey was married.
>They aren't head over heels in love like me and my Hana-Chan. But the Moneky is not suicidal. >They have a more... traditional marriage then we do.
>I don't pry about children
>To this day, Naomi has never shared with me what exactly she said to change Hime-san's mind so drastically.

File: OneQuestionEach.jpg (347KB, 1440x609px) Image search: [Google]

347KB, 1440x609px

Thread is pretty long already so my apologies if I missed this being posted already.

File: 10weekspregnant.png (399KB, 1244x602px) Image search: [Google]

399KB, 1244x602px

>>52352431

File: AntagonisticStreet.png (100KB, 1553x657px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 1553x657px

>>52352572
One of my personal favourites.

>>52336835
>I'm not fond of necromancers being good as a cheap twist
Define cheap twist. I made a nation of of necromancers/intelligent undead that are good or at least neutral but I would never make the obviously evil asshole not evil just to shit on my players.

File: EvilVizier.png (57KB, 1549x401px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 1549x401px

>>52352587
Love this one as well.

>>52352376
>To this day, Naomi has never shared with me what exactly she said to change Hime-san's mind so drastically.
I'll honestly say this: She probably noted the fact that a wife has an uncanny degree of control over her husband if she knows how to play her cards. And I don't mean bitching him out and browbeating him, I mean just knowing how to ask questions and even just feeding his ego. Dudes tend to want what they want, and a lot of them will walk through fire for a woman who does the simple things right and genuinely loves them.

File: HitlerJesusAndSchoolGirl.png (310KB, 1631x2097px) Image search: [Google]

310KB, 1631x2097px

>>52352609

File: Hogwarts40k.jpg (651KB, 998x2434px) Image search: [Google]

651KB, 998x2434px

>>52352739

>>52352634
Are you thick? She told her all about how good sex is. "You think that if you have no choice, it's bad. But it's not bad. No, not bad at all. Let me tell you in excruciating details all the ways it has been Not Bad™"

>>52352753
40k wank is the worst.

>>52352796
Eh, I figured that might have been it, but then thought that that wouldn't really solve the 'no choice' problem.
I'm a chronic overthinker, though.

>>52352376
>Wake up
>Naomi snuggled in against my chest.
>My stomach feels a bit wet.
>OHNO DID SHE COUGH UP BLOOD IN HER SLEEP AGAIN
>Lift her gently.
>It's white.
>...
>...wait.
>Look at Naomi's breasts.
>huh. making milk already.
>Naomi's eyes open up, half lidded and groggy.
>Isegakiku? Wha..?
>Oh, it's nothing. Wipe wipe.
>You may want to wipe your chest before you get dressed.
>She looks down.
>embarassed squeak.
>I go and get us breakfast, bring it back to the room.
>As I'm walking back I realize we've got a situation on our hands.
>Soon enough she's going to start to show.
>We're going to have to take some time off soon.
>And get her back to my home.
>bring all this up as we eat.
>Where is your home Ishigaki-kun?
>it's just a small house, tucked away in the foothills north of the wall.
>There was a village once, Ishigaki Mura, when the mine was still operational. It's abandoned know though.
>Naomi arches an eyebrow.
>Yeah, I took my adult name from the village. So?
>She giggled at my defensiveness.
>It's a good name, Ishigaki-kun. Suits you perfectly.
>We speak with our superior, and explain the situation. He nods. Of course we must return to my home and perpare for the birth of our first child.
>Send a letter off ahead of us, I've no idea what shape the house is even in after being unused all this time.
>Wrangle my construction cr... brave friends to come along.
>get another palanquin
>Off we go, to my perfectly safe and secure and sunshiny home.
>Nothing could go wrong a week's ride from the Wall, right?

>>52335690
>>Now to use subtle innendo and word play to dance around this sensitive topic while still conveying my point. I've seen the Kitsuki do that plenty of times in court.
>>I wanna marry your daughter.
>>NAILED IT
Comedy gold

>>52353182
>We are met at the border to the Crab lands by a dour looking patrol.
>their officer dismounts. chu-i by her sashimono.
>Looks me up and down.
>Her nose wrinkles up like she smelled something bad.
>My beard is trimmed. My hair washed. My armor is clean, polished, and dent-free.
>Realize what her problem is.
>Ive become a geisha.
>She looks over the others.
>They squirm a bit. They really didn't like the idea of donning their armor while on the road.
>An armored Samurai going anywhere is almost a decleration of war. But not here. Wearing your armor is a matter of course.
>She sniffs dismisively. Looks in the Palanquin. Hushed questions. Answeres even I can't hear.
>She come back, handing me back the papers.
>There's a genuine smile on her face now.
>Yells to her men. This man came home with a pregnant wife!
>Cheers.
>I can only imagine how red Naomi must be in there.
>But a birth is a joyous occasion. Whole villages will take a day off to celebrate a single child being born. She's going to get lot's of attention, whether she wants it or not.
>We get as much of an escort as ,the Patrols can spare, which isn't much.
>But it's enough. If there was anyone or anything contemplating attacking us, our honor gaurd dissuaded them from doing so.
>At last we see it. My home. The village is gone, just a few skeletal frames fallen down and rotting. The hill where the mine entrance was is off in the distance. I can see the large boulder in front of it. The ropes and the sutra are still in place. Nothing will come up from that hole again, at least.
>My house is so plain it's almost comical. A simple walkway around a rectangle of building. All very classic and easy to immagine.
>A "garden" out back with some hardy grass, en empty pond, and one big rock.
>I used to punch that rock to toughen up my hands for Jujitsu.
>My friends managed to keep neutral faces.
>Naomi, however, was peering about from within her palanquin with great interest.

>>52353480
>I rattled up to the entrance.
>To my great relife I see that the house, despite me not living in it for so long, is not a ramshackle dump.
>Spot a pair of sandals already in the foyer. The right one is showing wear all along the left side.
>I know whose sandal that is.
>TOSHIRO GET OUT HERE YOU BASTARD!
>party jumps
>Step
>Thumpdrag
>Step
>Thumpdrag
>Step
>Thumpdrag
>Kuni Toshiro, my friend from long ago comes to stand in the doorway of my house.
>He is a true Crab. We understand one another so deeply we do not even need to speak out loud to communicate with one another.
>His right leg is twisted at an odd angle, giving him a club foot. An old wound earned on the Wall.
>I was there when it happened, and I'm amazed he still has any leg at all.
>He is wearing his face paint, or course. He never takes it off.
>He says it is poilite.
>Considering his face is more scared than mine, he's probably right.
>We stare at one another just long enough for my comrades to wonder if there is going to be fight before we break out laughing.
>I knew why he didn't come out to greet us, and he knew I knew. We planned a joke to play on my friends without even seeing each others faces.
>Everyone, this is Kuni Toshiro-san. My best friend. Come on in.
>I help Naomi out of the palanquin.
>Toshiro thumpdrags himself over
>So this is the woman who stole your heart eh?
>He peers up at me.
>You do look much more...alive than last I saw you.
We retire for the evening, with warm food, fine Crab sake (warm milk for Naomi) and Toshiro entertains us all with stories from the Wall. Lighthearted things about daily life and social mishaps, not stories of the darkness that waits just beyond the firelight.

>>52353673
>I wake up.
>No. It's nothing. There is nothing there to disturb my sleep.
>Yet I am distrubed.
>I slip out of Naomi's arms, tuck her in gently, and don my armor.
>I take my tetsubo in hand and walk around my home.
>I crack open doors and peek in on my friends. >None of them are in armor.
>None of them stir.
>I know why I cannot sleep.
>I step outside onto the walkeay.
>Toshiro is there.
>He looks at me, giving a half smirk half laugh. Just a hint of mockery.
>I know what he means. The wall is not far from here. The shadowlands lies just beyond. I have brought people born and raised in Rokugan to the very gates of Hell, where nothing is as they think it should be.
>That lack of understanding could kill them.
>It could kill my beloved wife, and our unborn child.
>Of course I am restless.
>As we walk our patrol, Toshiro opens a few doors. He looks at the sutra he has placed there.
>I know this spell. It is a ward. Should a thing with the taint try to cross those bariers they will burst into flames. I have seen him use it many, many times.
>I nod my thanks.
>We finish our patrol and he produces a small bottle of sake.
>Yes, it time for me to get off duty and back to sleep.
>We drink.
>I return to my wife.

>>52353788
By this time irl our shiba player had to leave the group. The fellow we got to join had intended to play a Kuni shugenja, and we agreed that he would be my old friend from way back.

I want to take a moment to say that the dynamic between Toshiro and Ishigaki occured at the table as well. The fellow playing Toshiro was as well versed in Crab lore as I was, and so we knew what the other was thinking or would do.

>Naomi asked to be taken around the area, she wished to see all of her new home.
>There's just some fallen buildings and an old mine.
>That large rock, yes?
>Yeah.
>That was a seal, Ishigaki.
>Crap.
>I can hear the others ears prick up.
>Okay, grand tour for everyone.
>I take them to the "village"
>I point out where the inn was, for Samurai on their way to or from the wall. The small the hill on which I stood, daring the other children to come knock me off. None of them could.
>I took them to the mine.
>I told Naomi to stay well back, just in case.
>And I told them of the night my family died. >The night I got the scar on my face.
>The night I couldn't protect the people who entrusted their lives to me.
>The night Ishigaki mura ceased to exist.
>It was hardly an uncommon story among the Crab. Many have suffered loss in my Clan. It's one reason I never brought it up.
>Naomi, of course, was in tears.
>The others seemed to be taken aback as well.
>And there is the other reason I never brought it up. Such is part of life for a Crab, such is nigh unthinkable for one outside our Clan.
>I told them the Kuni who placed that seal assured me that nothing would able to use the mine again. That so long as that boulder stood the mine was safe, and the taint would spread no farther.
>Toshiro echoed that.
>My freinds took a few steps back anyway.
>good.
>They're learning.

>>52354032
>Naomi was well along when I spotted a goblin.
>The summers heat was just starting to give way to fall when a furtive shadow ducked down into the rotting remains of a house
>I moved quickly, then softened my tread. Keeping my breathing even I moved up.
>The thing heard me, it lept from it's hiding spot and tried to run.
>I chased it down and killed it.
>One tiny little goblin. Naked save for the mud and shit caked on to it's body. But the tanto it carried was sharp.
>I thought of Naomi, belly heavy with child.
>Her illness was making this last part difficult
>She had little strength, and didn't move around much on her own.
>I went back to get the others. I wanted to do a thorough search of the area.
>Toshiro stayed behind to watch over her.
>his Earth magic had been a great help to ease her burdens. And he had managed to improve upon her medicine
>Naomi insisted it was my love that made her illness seem less severe.
>As we hunted I wondered what good my love had done.
>Despite my earlier words, she was now clearly unwell.
>The things her brother said to me came back to haunt me.
>HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII!
>The mantis had found something.

Please keep going, earth-anon. This is some of the best greentext I've seen in ages.

>>52354190
>goblin tracks.
>The Kitsuki was already studying them.
>A half dozen, trying to avoid notice.
>They're moving away, and there aren't many.
>The Mantis, or course. Showing just how far from their parent Clan they have fallen.
>So, why not just let them go.
>I held up the tanto.
>One little Goblin can do a lot of damage if it sneaks into the right place.
>Mantis shrugs. This is your home, we'll do what you think is best.
>We pursue.
>The goblins are quick, but we manage to overtake them.
>The fight is short, and brutal. Goblins do not fare well in open combat.
>We return to my home, we bath and Toshiro tosses some salt and purifies us.
>I hold my wife. A bone deep fear like I've never felt before weighing down on my limbs.

File: IMG_1253.png (738KB, 2944x2784px) Image search: [Google]

738KB, 2944x2784px

The thread this is from is actually still going.

>>52354355
>I'm sitting on the walkway, overlooking the garden .>Naomi is in the room behind me, bundled up under a pile of blankets.
>The door is open because the crisp autumn air helps her to breath easier.
>Toshiro is there. He has asked the fire Kami to keep her warm. Despite earth being his element, he has an understanding with the fire Kami as well. I know that the kami of fire are excitable and can get easily carried away, but Toshiro handles them well.
>Had it been anyone other than him, I would have insisted on more mundane means of warming her, lest her blankets burst into flame.
>The thought darkens my mood.
>I hear a grunt over my shoulder.
>Toshiro is scowling at me.
>Naomi stirs fitfully.
>It is both a blessing and a curse to have people so close to you they can read your mind.
>I breath deeply, trying out the meditation techniqus Shiba-san taught me before he was recalled by his Clan.
>Something about Yojimbo being Yojimbo, not magistrates.
>Yes, Naomi was no longer a Phoenix. She was a Crab. Therefore she was no longer Shiba-san's concern.
>I smelled her fathers hand at work.
>I said a silent prayer to whatever fortune might be listening that Shiba-san be spared any further malice from that man.
>No, not you dirty kansen fucks. Shoo.
>I didn't really know if there were any Kansen around. I doubted it, as I'm sure Toshiro had done his best to make my inhospitable to them.
>But still, better safe than sorry.
>A low rumble reached my ears.
>I looked up. No clouds.
>The Kitsuki came outside.
>You hear that, Ishigaki-san
>hai.
>Toshiro looked up.
>Horses?
>Must be.
>We walked around the outside of the house until we spotted the dust cloud.
>Ten... no Twelve.
>I had always thought myself observant, but the Kistuki was on a whole different level. When we first met we were equals. Now I was in awe of the clarity of his vision, so refined by his School.
>The came up to us, horses whipped into a lather.
>One fell from his saddle and bleed on my lawn.

>>52354728
>The rest of the group were little better off.
>all bore heavy wounds. Some looked fatal.
>Toshiro looked at them in dismay. I knew his ability with the water kami was very basic.
>Toshiro was a simple shugenja. He destoryed the enemies of our Clan with fire and Jade. He could not help all these wounded Crab.
>The leader slid, almost fell of her horse.
>Please. my men...
>I caught her before she could hit the ground.
>It was the Chu-i from before.
>I closed my eyes.
>Chikusho
>Chikusho
>Chikusho
>Chikusho
>Chikusho
>CHIKUSHO
>I knew what I had to do. She would never forgive me for turning these people away, or for offering only bandages and water.
>Follow me, carry anyone who can't walk.
>I took them to my wife.
>Naomi looked up from where she sat as we came around the corner.
>Her face was flush.
>I sat next to her and placed my forehead to hers.
>Fever.
>Chikusho
>The Kistuki had gathered everyone.
>Wounds that still bleed were dressed, water given
>Toshiro knelt beside Naomi. He could not save all those Crabs, but he could help ease the burden she was placing on herself
>The wounded were brought before Naomi. The man who fell first.
>But he was already gone.
>Naomi choked back her tears as she shook her head.
>Of the twelve riders that came, two perished.
>The rest were saved.
>And my wife lost consciousness from the strain.
>chikusho

>>52354951
>I'm beating my fist into my old punching rock.
>I'm doing this because I am furious, and I need an outlet for this rage.
>Ten of my kinsmen, all of them on deaths door saved.
>but it may have cost the life of my wife and soon to be born child.
>I am angry at these Crabs that came here
>I am angry at Toshiro, for not being able to save them himself, or for not being able to help Naomi more.
>I am angry at myself for allowing this
>I am angry at Naomi because her kind heart would allow no other outcome
>But some part of me retains enough sense to know that is not fair. Not to any of those people.
>And so I punish myself for my inaproprate anger.
>My friends seem nervous. I have never lost my composure so severly in front of them.
>In fact, most of the times I did "lose my face" it was an act to scare someone into being more cooperative.
>This time I am genuinely out of control, and they know it.
>I see Toshiro speak to them. The look a little relived and go back inside.
>I cannot hear his words. All I can hear is the blood roaring in my ears as my heart pounds.
>I lose my balance as my fist slips off the rock.
>I fall face first in the dirt.
>Toshiro sits down next to me. I can see his clubbed foot.
>You done now?
>I think so.
>good. Sit up. baka.
>I do.
>he takes my bleeding hands and begins to pray.
>The water kami feel difrent from when Naomi does it.
>She gives a slow, gentle, inexorable feeling of life itself filling you.
>Toshiro's Kami are more like being bent over and having life rammed into you whether you are ready or not. It hurts, even as you are being healed.
>I think it hurts more than I remember, actually.
>POP
>My knuckles begin to shift back into place. I really hurt myself.
>Baka-yaro
>Now I'm sure it hurts more than normal.
>He's right. Toshiro is always right.

>>52354728
>>52354951
>>52355212
Damn that's a rollercoaster.

>>52355212
>She's going to be okay you know.
>It's just fatigue.
>I open my mouth. Instead of a protest I hiss as a fresh wave of pain stings my hands.
>How many prayers to Jurojin do YOU know again?
>Stop reading my mind, godammit.
>Toshiro just makes his half snort half laugh noise.
>The Chu-i approaches us as Toshiro finishes.
>She throws herself down into a dozega
>stop.
>GOMEN...
>STOP.
>She looks up.
>I should be the one apologizing for that shameful display. I am sorry I showed you such an ugly thing.
>I bow.
>It's... it's okay. You're worried about your wife.
>And you were worried about your men.
>Now. Tell me what did that to them.
>What?
>My eyes narrow. I am a Crab. And there is something strong enough to severly wound a Crab patrol very close to my pregnant wife.
>I cannot allow this.
>What did you fight?
>Ogres.
>How many?
>Six
>two to one against ogers?
>though I did not voice my thought she knows what I am thinking.
>The had weapons, wore armor. All of them.
>Shit.
>That made sense.
>Ogres are stupid brutes. Mountains of muscle who think only of food, sex and violence. Barely able to speak. Not different from most people's veiw of Crab.
>But that is not the Ogres natural state. It is a curse from the dark kami. Away from the shadowlands, their minds can return. They can remember a time when they rules the world, before man sprang up from the blood of Onnotangu and the tears of Amaterasu.
>An Ogre that is as intelgent as a human, while being stronger, faster and tougher, with real weapons, armor and even a School...
>We killed two, injured most of the rest. But their leader...
>He has a Nodachi. And he knows well how to use it.
>please, stay here and guard my wife.
>With my life.
>I enter into my house to don my armor.

>>52330572
>>52330577
>>52330600
>all those dead soldiers and guards who had family and thought they were serving their queen and country with honor
>all the riots that must have started in the city without any law enforcement
>warlords that must have sprung up to carve a small piece of land for themselves
>surrounding kingdoms moving in to claim the now monarchless territory

>>52355382
>messing with inteligent Ogres
butwhytho? Don't they hate the shadowlands almost as much as the crab do?

>>52355382
>The others are already dressed and ready.
>I don't even have to ask.
>I bow to thank them.
>Forget everything you think you know about Ogres. The ones we face now are intelligent. They can set ambushes. They wear armor over their already thick hides and will wield Weapons.
>We will have to work together, create openings for one another, and defend each other if we are going to win, let alone survive.
>And we don't have Naomi with us.
>I let all that sink in. Save Toshiro, there was not single one of us who would already be dead if not for her skill at healing magic.
>We headed out.
>The Mantis and the Monkey ranged ahead, scouting.
>The Kitsuki looked uncomfortable. He kept fiddling with the bindings on the armor we had aquired for him.
>I gave his do a tug. It stayed in place.
>It's fine, leave it alone.
>Okay.
>I envivisioned the battle that was to come.
>The Kistuki was many things. Warrior was not one them. Yes his skills had been polished at the rough hands of his master, yes he could anticipate enemies attacks. But it would dificult indeed for his blade to reach the Ogres flesh, and even then...
>The Monkey was insane. Like all Toku he took excessive risks, Fortune favors the foolish and the bold, and he was both.
>The mantis, merchant that he was, was still dependable in a fight. His peasant weapons may not seem like much, But I had seen him cut men in half with well placed swings.
>Even an Ogre would know it when the Mantis struck them.
>Toshiro continued to thumpdrag along beside me. He was the one I most counted on.
>a plan took shape in my mind.

File: MurderGentAndFriends.png (1MB, 2556x3192px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2556x3192px

>>52354482
>The thread this is from is actually still going.
Indeed it is.
Thank you for bringing it to our attention.

>>52355463
An intelligent ogre is still a tainted beast that thinks it should be at the top of the food chain. The enemy of my enemy, is my enemies enemy. Nothing more. Nothing less.

>The mantis and Moneky came back, having found sign of the brutes.
>I laid out our rough strategy for this battle.
>Kitsuki will guard Toshiro, who will do as he is wont to do. Monkey, you will set the Ogres up. Sting them, annoy them, get them to drop their guard. Then the Mantis will exploit those openings for all they are worth.
>What are you going to do?
>What I always do. Persevere.
>We tracked them back to a camp sight. They had piled up earthen walls around their lair.
>No intention of letting Ogres just move in wherever they please, we made our best effort to creep up on them.
>Sadly we were not Ninjas.
>We seprated, the mantismonkey going left, me going right.
>It was as the Chu-i said. There were four Ogres and two of them bore wounds.
>The monkey dove between the legs of one of the ogres, slashing at the back of his calves.
>Incenced and off balance the Ogre turned to him, but the Monkey was not where the ogre's dai tsuchi fell.
>The mantis struck, both Kama plunging deep into the Ogre's shoulders. It bellowed as it fell.
>Another Ogre charged at Toshiro and Kistuki-san.
>Kitsuki-san did stood in the things path and was knocked aside by a the things tetsubo.
>But that was all the time Toshiro needed to finish his spell. Two red orbs of pure flame struck the Ogre, engulfing it.
>I faced off with the last ogre.
>he had an ono.
>I decided it would be best if I could end this quickly, and so I swung my tetsubo. I was rewarded with two solid cracks, my weapon was ideal for dealing with thick hides and heavy armor alike.
>The ogre was too sturdy however, and I failed to take him off his feet.
>his Ono fell upon me, tearing aside my sode and bitting deeply into me.
>I staggered under the sheer force of the impact, but kept my feet.

>>52356067
>schlock mercenary
bruh

>>52356067
>Even as the ogre menacing Toshiro burned, he called forth a blast of pure jade to sear it.
>The Ogre, horribly wounded but still standing, lashed out with his tetsubo.
>He struck Toshiro with full force.
>But Toshiro was a Crab. He staggered back, coughing blood, but straightened.
>The monkey helped the Kitsuki to his feet as the Mantis fell upon the burning Ogre like a thunderbolt.
>It's attention was fixated on Toshiro.
>At the last second it saw the Mantis and turned. Too late.
>The Mantis lept into the air and scythed his kama through the creatures neck.
>It's headless body fell, still burning.
>Sure, finish off all the wounded ones to make yourself look good, you selfish priwwHHUUFFFF
>The sky tumbled and turned about me as I flew
>I landed a good five feet from where I had been standing, blood seeping from my side where the Ogre's ono had torn another great rent in my armor.
>I stood back up facing the thing bearing down on me. I could feel it's bloodlust.
>It came at me again, but this time I warded it away with a defensive swipe of my tetsubo.
>I likely could not take another blow like that, so I put all my effort into keeping myself alive.
>Meanwhile the last ogre, the one with the Nodachi, had stepped up. The Kitsuki, Mantis and Monkey all began to close on him, coming from three sides.
>Toshiro chanted his prayer. I had no idea what he was doing, but given how long it was taking it was bound to be spectacular.
>I realzied too late that the leader was intentionally drawing them in closer. I tried to shout a warning.
>With one massive swing of it's blade, the ogre struck them all.
>The Mantis hissed in pain
>The Monkey fell to one knee
>The Kitsuki hit the ground hard and did not move.
>I warded off another attack. I had my hands full and could not go to help them.
>Toshiro finished his spell. The skin of the ogre leader began to harden, then turn to Jade.

>>52356108
No one was supposed to catch that.

>>52356271
>Toshiro shouted his prayer, beesiching the Kami of Earth to entomb this malignant beast for all time.
>He was now locked in a struggle with it, attempting to crush the Ogre's lifeforce with pure jade.
>The Ogre I had been fighting with thought to move past me, and put an end to the Shugenja.
>Having none of that, I struck. My first blow smashed the creatures kneecap, as it's leg twisted and it fell, I crushed it's skull.
>Then I struck it once more, just to make sure the damn thing was good and dead.
>I limped over to where the others were. The Monkey was quickly tying bandages off on the Kitsuki.
>So Kitsuki-san survived.
>Meanwhile the battle between Toshiro and the Ogre raged.
>I could hear the thing bellowing in fury from with it's jade prison, though it's cries sounded further and further away with every passing second.
>Toshiro was sweating heavily. I knew this spell took a heavy toll on it's caster, and left them very vulnerable while the fought to subdue the beast.
>But all the other Ogres had fallen. Toshiro was free to focus solely in his magic.
>The Ogre's bellows became chirrups, then whimpers.
>Then... nothing.
>Toshiro leaned forward heavily, both hands on his knees.
>it's done.
>We finished patching up Kitsuki-san and even got him awake.
>the blow must have scrambled his brains a bit, because he kept blinking as though he couldn't bring anything into focus.
>Battered, Beaten but Triumphant we set off back for the house.
>We returned to screams.

File: At last, the report! Let's see... 'Hastur, Hastur, Hastur...' fuck..png (243KB, 540x721px) Image search: [Google]

243KB, 540x721px

>>52356434
>>We returned to screams.

File: 66550901.jpg (21KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 500x500px

>>52356434
>We returned to screams.

File: Korra.jpg (179KB, 666x341px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 666x341px

>>52356434
>>We returned to screams.

File: NO ONE POSTS LIKE GASTON.png (176KB, 1334x1464px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 1334x1464px

>>52331522

>>52356573
NOT THE TIME

File: Polishes Nervously.jpg (40KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 600x600px

>>52356434
>We returned to screams.

>>52356434
>heart in my throat I raced through the front door and into my house.
>I forgot to open the door.
>I was greeted by nine terrified but hopefull faces
>They looked to my wifes bedroom.
>I ran in.
>I forgot to open the door again.
>The Chu-i looked up at me.
>Thank the Fortunes you're back in time! Quick, get the futon... no wait did the Shugenja make it back with you?! We need him!
>ISHIGAKI!
>I dropped to my knees and took her outstretched hand in mind.
>It HURTS, Ishigaki!
>What the hell is going on?!?!
>The chu-i smacked me.
>I stare at her
>Calm down, it's not what you think.
>Her water broke, that's all.
>...
>...
>...THAT'S ALL?!?!
>TOSHIRO GET THE FUCK IN HERE NOW!
>He thumpdragged in just as fast as he could thumpdrag
>Oh. Ah. I see.
>Toshiro began giving orders.
>People were stripped out of blood stained armor and clothing.
>No time for a proper bath
>Buckets of cold water dumped over our heads
>Salt
>Streamers on the end of a bamboo stick
>More salt.
>We were rushed into clean clothing, our bloody armor set outside lest the blood being bad kharma.
>and I found myself wandering around my house, a futon balled up and jammed under my kimono, bellowing in time with my wife.
>A woman giving birth is extremely vulnerable to spritual attack, and a newborn child even more so.
>So it was the duty of the husband to wander about, faking being a pregnant woman, to confuse the evil sprits and safegaurd his wife and child.
>Every cry from Naomi sent my heat into my throat.
>Every muffled snigger sent a twitch through my right eyebrow.
>Clutching my futonbaby to keep it from falling out, I moaned with great sincerity.
>The mantis assured me that when I blush with embarrassment I'm even cuter than Naomi.
>I didn't kill him.
>I remain proud of the restraint I showed, to this very day.

File: 1488859474759.png (227KB, 518x331px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 518x331px

>>52356677
>>Her water broke, that's all.
You can't fucking do this to me, you faggot.
Nice double dubs.

>>52356727
He knew what he was doing.

File: LqN1v.gif (460KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 500x281px

>>52356595
>>52356573
Noooo oooone
Rape like Gaston,
Counters japes like Gaston,
Sneaks up on changelings in capes like Gaston.
He's especially good at ejaculating!
Look out for Gaston!

>>52356677
>At last there was silence.
>Then a cry.
>Not my wife.
>My child.
>Uuuaaahhhh?
>yes Ishigaki you can stop doing that and come in.
>Naomi had deep bags under her eyes. He rhair was matted to her head with sweat. And she was radiant.
>And there, in Toshiro's arms. was an ugly bawling pink blob.
>It was the most beautiful ugly bawling pink blob I'd ever seen.
>Want to hold your daughter?
>daughter...
>hah.
>haha.
>hahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA
>I flopped down on the floor next to Naomi, and held her as Toshiro handed me my daugter.
>Laughter I couldn't stop kept pouring out of me.
>They were safe. They were both safe, and whole.
>I felt so much tension I hadn't even realised I was holding on too drain out of me, and I'm glad I was already sitting down.
>Naomi began to squirm under her blanket
>Ishigaki-kun, help me sit up?
>I scooped her up with one hand.
>then cradled my family in my massive arms
>our daughter quieted down as she looked at up at us with giant eyes.
>Just like her mothers.
>Let's hope she gets your looks, Naomi.
>Hmmm. that may be for the best.
>She needs a name.
>She does.
>Well, how about we nudge her along to taking after you with it?
>Oh? You have something in mind.
>Daiko.
>Naomi blinked. Then blushed.
>Hai. Daiko.
>Welcome to your home, HIda Daiko.
>