>The elves respond to the pope's call

>>52271725
Can they do something against those shitty pagan horsearcher?

Why, they hate drow. There's no reason they'd go to save the Byzzies.

>they march against the dragons and the hordes of dragonfored curved blade-wielding kobold servants that have been making raids on their territory
>Dragon religion and elf religion is similar with slight differences, dragon being more about dominance and respect to authority
>Ultimate goal is an attempt to reclaim the sacred mountain of both religions

Tolkiens's elves were like super Catholic, because Tolkien was super Catholic.

And what are we supposed to do with this thread, now that it is here?

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>>52271759
No.

>>52271765
>a thousand years later the dwarves manipulate the elves into accepting draconics into their forest by the millions, because the two races have hated each other for forever and the dwarves need to protect their gold

Shit, it all makes sense.

>>52271725
>Jesus laughs maniacally as Odin fails at damage control

>>52271725
>the elves respond to the pope's call
>in return, the pope will allow elves freedom of religion outside of human cities
>elves fight valiantly, many are converted to catholicism
>pope dicks over the elves and goes back on promise
>many catholic elves join the new crusade against the heretic forest elves

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>>52272575
>Meanwhile, the elves have all abandoned God based on some writings by a bunch of humans

>>52272595
>Baltic Crusades

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>>52272595
10/10 would purge pointy-eared Cathars again.

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>>52272644

>>52272635
>forest elves convert to Christianity
>they join forces with the other Catholic elves against the crusaders, whom have become a burden

>>52272659
....I mean, on the one hand, fucking Star Wars EU.
On the other hand, I think I can take random cat people more seriously than Albigensian heretics.

>>52271725
>The Elves agree to sack a city in return for free passage on Venetian boats.
>The Elves fucking murder everyone in Zara
>The pope promptly excommunicates every Elf and every Venetian in the world. He technically hasn't unexcommunicated the Venetians yet.
>The Elves don't care, and go on to sack Constantinople
>Because of this, the last holdout of the Roman Empire falls to the Turkic hordes.
>Eight-hundred-thirteen years later the Orthodox are still butthurt

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>>52272595
>Halflings are angry at being constantly jewed over by the pope and declare their own special version of the religion before being protestant is even a thing
>Pope sends his remaining elves at heretic halflings
>...and that, dear kids, is why elves are a dying race today.

>>52272795
> On the other hand, I think I can take random cat people more seriously than Albigensian heretics.

Considering the real life Cathars were pacifists, that's really not saying much.

>>52272796
>the, I get all my history of the crusades from Orthodox shitposting, poster

Read Madden's book on either Enrico Dandolo or the 4th Crusade.

>>52272836
Take seriously in general, not just as a threat.
Gnosticism overrated as fuck.

>>52272836
>Considering the real life Cathars were pacifists

Impressive that they assassinated that Papal envoy while being pacifists.

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>>52272802
>you will never date a halfling dog rider qt

>>52272802
After the war, halflings are jewed hard by the pope, catholicism remains strong and the protestants are gradually killed or ousted until all of the halflings are catholic again. To this day, the most glorious moment in the halfling history is a war fought for literally nothing.

>>52272795
Hey, name another catholic heresy that allows me to use my women for something other than heirs. Female rulers slutting it up gets me rock hard, baby.

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>>52272941
>HALFLINGS ARE A PROUD WARRIOR RACE, NEVER FORGET THAT

>I SEE YOU BROUGHT YOUR FORMAL TRACKSUIT, SIT NEXT TO ME BROTHER, AND LET ME OPEN YOU A BAGENDSNER WITH MY CROWBAR

>WE SHALL TALK AGAIN ABOUT HOW IF WE FOUGHT BACK AGAINST THE FOREST ELVES PROPERLY AND HAD NOT BEEN BETRAYED BY OUR ALLIES AND THE MAYOR, WW2 WOULD NOT HAPPEN

>>52272877
Pierre de Castelnau was likely killed by one of Raymond VI's men. Though Raymond was relatively lenient on the Cathars, he was not one himself.

>>52272860
For someone living in the middle ages, gnosticism makes way more sense than catholicism. Everything physical is filthy, and hell isn't some other place that you're condemned to after death for lack of faith. You're already there, the world is hell.

>>52272856
t. the most serene merchant

>>52271780
Technically I'm not sure they can be considered catholics, that would be like saying Adam and Eve are catholics.

>>52273044
>He gets his information of Medieval Europe from Game of Thrones

Living in the Middle Ages wasn't like living in Hell you fucking spastic.

People lived normal, comfortable lives, wars tended to be short affairs with minimal impact to the non-martial population.

The only times it really sucked was during plague years or some of the wars where civilians were targeted ala Hundred Years War.

And those were rare.

>>52273321
>He gets his information of Medieval Europe from Game of Thrones
> People lived normal, comfortable lives
Hardly. Between heavy manual labor due to a lack of more advanced tools and cultivation techniques and a lack of medical knowledge, getting an injury that could develop into a fatal infection was quite easy. On top of that, this was a time when things like water quality were a giant mystery, and as such disease outbreaks were common and potentially deadly.

It may be popular on /tg/ to wax nostalgic about the middle ages, but you need only look at things like the infant mortality rate to see that it wasn't a pleasant time.

>>52273044
During the plague sure. But it wasn't that bad normally.

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>>52272697
>It's the 30 years war, but it's between catholic elves and catholic humans

>The division of Islam into Dwarven and Human branches goes far back in Muslim history to the aftermath of the death of the Prophet Muhammad. Its repercussions have rippled through history, with periods of peace and periods of war. With the recent turmoil, the conflict between Shiite Dwarf and Sunni Human is once again a driving force behind events in the Middle East

>>52273321
>The only times it really sucked was during plague years
Or famines and draughts which happened regularly and led to other unpleasant things

>>52273321
>People lived normal, comfortable lives, wars tended to be short affairs with minimal impact to the non-martial population.
While the war bit is true, there was a much higher level of every day violence, due to local law enforcement uually being pretty shit.

>>52273478
> due to local law enforcement usually being pretty shit.
More like non existent. What we think of as law enforcement is an invention of the 1800s. Law enforcement in the 1200s was basically just lynching.

>>52273415
>>52273475
>>52273478
>>52273514
> people still buying into the dung ages myth
Someone should gas hollywood already. I thought /tg/ was better than this.

>>52271780
>>52273313
technically technically they are a successful blend of biblical angels, tuatha de danann and germanic/scandinavian elves

>>52273535
>> people still buying into the dung ages myth
Calm your tits, famines were norm of life before 19th century. Modern history of my country starts with 3 year long famine that depleted all reserves the government had prepared in case of disaster.

>>52273535
Nigger, we got Judicial Records that show the amount of violent crime going on during that period and that's not even factoring in the stuff that got hushed up by the local lords.

>>52273514
Lynching was common. But there were other punishments for lesser crimes. Branding, the stocks, flogging, fines etc.

I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.

>>52273629
> I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.
Depending on you live there is either some sad truth to that or absolutely none. Either way, there are criminal justice systems in use today that are so vastly superior to medieval punishment that it isn't even funny. The issue is just that some countries have their heads up their asses and refuse to implement actually effective systems out of a perverse machismo.

>>52273629
Social realism from just the 19th century described that kind of a thing as very metal and not very fair. Les Miserables come to mind.

>>52273629
>I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.
Yeah, abusing and maiming people sure beats treating them with at least some dignity.

>>52273751
A day of humiliation and a few bruises is better than spending months incarcerated. You should treat crime as shameful, preserving the dignity of criminals is dumb.

Looking at recidivism rates, it's hard to argue that the system as it stands is working.

>>52273817
> Looking at recidivism rates, it's hard to argue that the system as it stands is working.
Maybe if you're an American, but not all of us have such awful recidivism rates.

>>52273817
I'm all for public degradation punishments, but make it female only

>>52272897
>Tall skinny one third from the front in the nearer row
I think I'm in love. Even if her name is entirely consonants.

>>52273930
To be fair, the US has drastically different recidivism rates by state.

>>52273817
> A day of humiliation and a few bruises is better than spending months incarcerated.
A few months incarceration is better than execution by gibbet, which is the sort of thing that happened a lot in the "old timey justice" system that you're pining after.

>>52274169
Hard to be a recidivist after that.

>>52274338
Okay, so everything should be punished by death? Because execution by gibbet was the punishment for theft in medieval England.

>>52273751
>modern justice system
>dignity
You're funny anon, do they still have their dignity when they're forced to piss in a cup and have a guy shove his hand up their ass to check for stuff?

>>52271725
No one expects crusader elves

>>52274394
Or what about when they're getting raped up that ass and the supposedly compassionate society they live in treats that like a cross between an additional bonus punishment and one big huge joke, is that dignified?

>>52274169
>>52274338
Death penalty is 99.9999% sure to prevent recidivism.

>>52274451
Yeah, I'm sure killing all the political criminals (ie half the intelligent people in your country) will not backfire.

You've also got to understand that there were no investigation methods back then, so framing somebody was infinitely easier.

>>52274394
Delete the "forced" and you got a somewhat regalur visit to the doctor. People manage to go through this without their souls being crushed.

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>>52274439
>>52274394
Do you honestly think that any of this is in any kind exclusive to modern law enforcement?

>>52274488
Delete forced from rape and it becomes regular sex. That doesn't mean rape is fine.

>>52274394
>>52274439
>bad shit still happens therefore we're no better

Look up the term "false equivalency" and then rethink the shit that comes out of your mouth.

>>52274451
Execution of the entire population will prevent all crime.

>>52274563
t. Judge Death

>>52274538
>That doesn't mean rape is fine.
Yeah, because in your analogy it stops being rape, while in mine it's still just visit to the doctor.

>>52274593
Most of the time when prisoners have someone shoving a hand up their ass, it's not a doctor doing it.

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>>52273268

>>52274746
Yeah, it's weird how america uses its prisons as rape camps, that's not really a thing in countries with comparable levels of prosperity.

>>52271780
>>52273313

Erm, well, kinda… He wrote out a Hail Mary and Paternoster in Elvish:

Hail Mary:
>Aia María quanta Eruanno i Héru as elye · aistana elye imíca nísi · ar aistana i yáve mónalyo Yésus : Aire María Eruo ontaril á hyame rámen úcarindor sí ar lúmesse ya firuvamme : Násie

Paternoster:
>Átaremma i ëa han ëa,na aire esselya, aranielya na tuluva,na care indómelyacemende tambe Erumande. Ámen anta síra ilaurëa massamma,ar ámen apsene úcaremmarsív’ emme apsenet tien i úcarer emmen. Álame tulya úsahtiennamal áme etelehta ulcullo. Násie.

>>52273469
>Shiite Dwarves

Good God, it actually fits, especially with WarHam dorf tendency toward unreasonable grudges and suicidal rage.

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>>52271725
SEE? I TOLD YOU!
WE SHOULDN'T KILL THE KNIFE EARS, WE SHOULD CONVERT THEM AND FUCK THE KNIFE EAR OUT OF THEM. THEN WE INVADE ORCISH LANDS, CONVERT THE ORCS TO CATHOLOCISM AND FUCK THE ORC OUT OF THEM. THEN WE GO TO FEY LANDS, CONVERT THE FEY TO CATHOLOCISM AND FUCK THE FEY OUT OF THEM.

I'm fine with Centaur genocide though. Deuteronomy 27:21 and all that.

>>52274484
>Political Criminals
It's their fault for not having a large enough standing army to make killing them problematic.
Stuff like that happens when you go against the king.

>>52274590
That's the first thing that popped in my head too.

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>>52275462
>AND FUCK THE KNIFE EAR OUT OF THEM
B-but my vows!

>>52276085
Maltans can marry, Elfnon.

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>>52276085
Did you draw that, anon? She looks a bit like that one lewd elf.

>>52272877

Catharism was inextricably entwined with the broader political situation in the region. Most of the lords resisting the invasion weren't Cathar, but fought because they resented the imposition of what was seen as a foreign authority, and because their relatives were the ones being killed.

>>52273321
And let's also point out that the region the Cathars grew in was comfy as fuck. Half the reason the crusade took place was politics and economics of the regions having a shitload of good stuff. Which runs counter to the idea of Gnostic bullshit being swallowed because 'the world is hell'; there's probably more to support a 'lazy decadence' argument, though I'm not really a fan of that approach either.

>>52272442
And now I have my character idea. Thanks.

Does this mean we would have modern controversies of priest molesting little elf boys?

>>52276516
Or elf priests molesting human boys.
I've lost track of which species is which ethnicity anymore.

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HOW IN THE FUCK IS EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NOT CONTEMPLATING THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE

CHASTE
RIPE
CORRUPTABLE
ANAL-ONLY-PRONE
ELF
NUNS
AND NOTHING BUT GIRL-ON-GIRL ALL FEMALE BOARDING SCHOOLS RUN BY ELVES IN FUCKING CHASTITY

I AM BEIGN ASSUALTED BY FETISHES BEYOND COMPLEX COHESION AND COMPREHENSION HERE, CATHOLIC SEXUAL TORRTURE DUGEON PORN, RELIGIOUS SACRILIDGE PORN, CHASTITY ENDUCED HOMOSEXUALITY, CORRUPTION THROUGH DEVILS, DEMONS AND VAMPIRES, ULTRA YURI OMNI-DYKE MODE, VIKING ORC MARAUDERAER NUN RAPE

GODDANM POPE, YOU INFERNAL TEASE.


LET US NOW CONTEMPLATE
ELVEN ISLAM CHOCOLATE BROWN LOP-EARED DESERT ELVES IN HIJABS, AND VARIOUS MUSLIM AND ARABIC WEAR

OH MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

>>52276720
OH SHIT NIGGER YOU RIGHT!

Though, you'd have to change the elf to dwarf with the hijabs.

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>>52276720

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>>52276720
EVERLASTING ELVEN SHOTA CHOIR BOY TRAPS ON HUMAN ONES AND VICE VERSA

STRAIGHT SHOTA WITH CHASTE TRAPS AND ELVEN NUN MILFS.

ALL ELVES HAVE A WHORE-OUT BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION

IMAGINE THE SEXUAL DEATH BOMBINGS UNLEASHED WHEN THE CHASTITY CAGE COMES OFF.


SEXUAL LUST SO HARD IT IMMEDIATELY DETHRONES MALCHATHET AS THE QUEEN OF SUCCUBI AND BECOMES A LEWD ENTROPIC HOLE OF PLEASURE, AND THEN SLAANESH IS BORN, WAIT FUCK

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>>52276252
>She looks a bit like that one lewd elf.

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>>52276252
Reminder: It happened.

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>>52276882
SLAANESH IS EVEN CANON IN D&D, SO ALL THE ELVES ARE GETTING FUCKED, WE'RE TALKING THE ONLY THING KEEPING THESE ELVES FROM NOT MURDER-FUCKING IS THRAZRIDUN ISSUED TIGHT YAHWEH BLESSED CERAMITE CHASTITY CAGES, AND THE KIND OF SEXUAL SUPRESSION THAT ONLY ANA IS CAPABLE OF BEING PLACED UNDER

AND WE'RE MIXING THIS WITH CATHOLISCISM AND FUCKING ELVES.

WE'RE HITTING SEXUAL SHOGGOTH LEVELS OF LEWD, HERE, AND NOT THE MONSTERGIRL SHOGGOTH CRAP, LITERALL AMORPHROUS ALL EXAPANSIVES PRIMORDIAL OOZE LEVELS OF LEWD SHIT SHIT HERE, THE SUCC WILL BE SO POWERFUL YOU WILL FIND THAT THE CHASTE ELF BOOTY IS YOUR NEW PHYLACTERY.

>>52276882
>>52276952
Paizo was never not a mistake.

>>52276974
>not realizing those had nothing to do with Paizo
Publisher=/=writer.

>>52276928
Damn!is this oficial,yes this make me so happy

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>this thread

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>>52276720
Oh my God...

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>>52276996
1)Well, they gave out the paycheck, didn't they?
2)Nothing about Pathfinder makes me think that they have any sort of problem with these sort of articles.
Alternately, just give me the writers' names, that they may be rode down and punished instead.

>>52271725
literally the finale of Kingdom under Fire: The Crusaders.

>>52277024
It is. It's Mugenjin's work.

http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=jin_%28mugenjin%29&pid=84

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>>52276720
>>52276882
>>52276952

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>>52271759
Easily if the Dwarves would stop being glory hogs and running off to die because they expect the nomads to stand and fight instead of keeping the heavier cavalry at bay. Archers on foot wreck horse archers.

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Have you forgotten the gods of your fathers for these shaven men of gold and white robes? Have you forgotten hill, river, and stone for coin and wine and cheese?

>>52277135
Why did God make elves so lewd?

>>52277267
You mean Tolkien? He didn't.

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>>52277147
>Have you forgotten hill, river, and stone for coin and wine and cheese?
Hills don't buy you wine and cheese.
Rivers and stones don't feed a family.
Échec et mat!

>Elves take so long to launch crusade that the middle east is now technocratic city states
>Jerusalem has been a radioactive crater for centuries
>The Elves on horseback try to chase down Akira-style motorcycle kebab street gangs

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>>52272623
Wait, who are the humans here?

>>52273941
>You missed out of the timeline where women never got rights and breeding stockades filled with radical feminists being punished for their crimes lined the streets

Feels bad man

>>52278725
You sound like a very sad little man.

>>52276720
>i am witnessing the evolution of a fetish
pure ecstasy

>>52278758
Well yeah, I missed out on the best time line. I'm devastated.

>>52278874
>timeline where political views are grounds for having your rights violated by goverment
>best
Pick one

the best one is where the waifus are

>>52278910
Anon, you aren't paying attention. In this time line women have no rights. That is the point. Waifus are over rated.

>>52279658
Different anon, but a question.

That's the best timeline how, precisely?

I don't catch your drift, ya know?

>>52279705
Free sex with no hoop jumping.

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>>52276720
Go and pursue your dream, you have my sincerest blessing.

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>>52279737
You can go back as far as you like, you'd still be a sexless Beta.
You can't escape yourself.

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>>52279737
Where's the fun in that?

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>>52279931
So you're saying no one can run from their sins?

>>52279931
Some can conquer with force of personality, some with wealth and reputation. For everybody else there's roofies.