Quotes

>>52252785
"I swear to the Emperor Gunner, if you shoot me in the head again I'm docking your pay."

>>52252785
"let that be a lesson to you"

said by the rogue trader to the astropath just after he executed the arch militant for mutiny.

"TO KNOW DEATH, OTTO
YOU HAVE TO FUCK LIVE...
IN THE GALLBLADDER!"

"Why don't you take some for the road you fat fuck"
said by one of the PC's female companions when he asked if she had ever had tiramisu before
I was tired and not all there

>>52252785
"What the fuck do you do that necessitates a gun?"
"This"
"It's not like half of us are more dangerous barehanded anyway."

"At officers school, do you get your tactics in cracker jack boxes?"
-PC to the colonel of the unit in a game of Eclipse Phase

>>52252785
"Lets not turn this hijacking into a murder."
Said as the character sneaked up on a pilot after breaking out of a space station prison and making it to the hanger undetected

"Have you heard the news? The count is secretly conspiring with tiger-headed heathen daemons from hell!"

My rogue, abusing ventriloquism constantly.

"Knock knock."

>Who's there?

"Sorden."

>Sorden who?

"Sorden Dabak."

Cue sneak attack and DM groans.

>>52253366
Stealing Sorden Dabak for my next rogue name

"alright, if you agree to help us, I will give you half your dead wife back"

"I'm kind of like Moses, except Moses didn't have a dragon, so I'm better"

>"Heyyyy, they destroy a town and get to keep going, and I space one dude and get disqualified? I call bullshit!"
>"YOUNG CHRISTOPHER, SENDING A FELLOW MAN TO SPACE, THAT IS COWARDLY. BUT DESTROYING EVERYTHING AROUND YOU TO GET AT ONE MAN? THAT IS THE ESSENCE OF A MAN!"

"If I can not instill the fear of God in you, perhaps I can encourage a very sound caution of me"

Said right after shooting at long-range the captain of the ship they were about to ram.

>>52253306
D-dwarf fortress?

>>52252785
"But I don't have the competence to guard him!"
"Well, you better learn quick then, 'cause it would be real bad if he caught on fire."

"But wait, aren't we gonna kill this guy in the end anyway?"

"What does the wardrobe people do here anyway?"

"I think we went a bit Stalingrad there for a while."

And then there was the time when we actually sang "Do you hear the people sing?" in-game.

I AM GOING TO SOLO NURGLE TERMINATOR
He then killed it with a Rocket Launcher and a Krak missile.

"LETS DO A CAMPAGIN IN SPACE VIETNAM"
How I created my only war.
"THERE IN THE OIL DRUMS"

>As a ancient philosopher once said: "Give me a infinitely long lever and a place to rest it, or I'll start killing the hostages"

"I'm LAWFUL GOOD" said the Necromancer after slaughtering a village to start a race war with elves

"Oh I'm sorry I had something stuck in one of my vocal chords" said the elf of the species that has two (count em') two sets of vocal chords

"The DM bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
And he layed that badass sword on the ground at Otto's feet
Otto said Dm just come on back if you ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch, im the most meta thats ever been" said the party bard after the previously mentioned Necromancer took my world's equivalent of Stormbringer from a stone in a way that wasn't supposed to be possible

>>52254470
"I have a feeling of Deja-Vu"

Said just after drifting into an ennemy tank

>>52254525
woops, wasn't planning to quote, sorry

>>52253306
Aren't rakshasa baatezu devils?
Daemons are yugoloths, NE dudes

>>52252785

I'm going to shove my spear so far up your ass, that you're going to cut your tongue every time you speak!

File: Archimedes.png (17KB, 444x285px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 444x285px

>>52254089
I do enjoy xkcd

>>52252785
"Are you sure you want to bum rush an army regiment of 12 soldiers?"

Me to the rogue who decides this was the course of action to take while the rest of the group was kiting the soldiers. I killed him next round.

"60 on the troll, 10 on the mage?"
"Agreeable"

Our Decker to our Rigger as our troll and mage entered into a drinking contest in a high-end club.
Needless to say, Security showed them the door

> Kobold "Tik-tik" (fascinated by a clock PC carried), speaks of himself in 3rd person
> "rescued" by party in early encounter
> became accompanying mascot
> trained in crossbow and given respectable gear by party
> DM says he 'levels up" occasionally, doing more damage
> yesterday we found out he has some magic abilities:

Tik-tikjumps on the back of the big baddie of the session, distracting him from killing our healer, gets thrown then suddenly shouts
Tik-tik FOOM!

Kobold summons what we're assuming is a Burning Hands-like spell, desecrating and killing the baddie.

Table erupts in cheers and laughter

File: soap_man_laughing.gif (1MB, 205x223px) Image search: [Google]

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Delta Green.

"Alright, you guys kill the pope as a distraction with the depleted-uranium-wrapped C4 so we can put the LSD in the water supply."

>>52252785
Thesus: "Room smells like shit, let's just set it on fire. Great idea, Abi."

Abi: "Shut the fuck up you fucking worthless cat."

"Nothing says 'Gentleman' like bringing your own syphilis medicine."

Call of Cthulhu - London, 1920