This is an elven supremacy thread. Post elves being superior

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Bearded manlet dorf tears also very much welcome.

Do Elder Scrolls Orsimer count as elves?

MUH SILMARIIIIIIILS

>>51910770
>flies upside down, gently slapping heavy plate-clad dudes with swords.
>Total casualties: 0

Why did the LoTR movies seem so much better than the Hobbit movies?

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>>51910800
Because LoTR was for young adults, and you watched it as a young adult.
The Hobbit is for children, and you watched it as a manchild.

>>51910800
They were the most visually impressive movies of their generation. And they had to compress the original instead of stretching a single children's book over three epic movies.

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Elves - the superior underground dwelling STRIKE THE EARTH race.

>>51910816
But it didn't have amazing 3D effects everyone loves so much!

Also, Tom Bombadil.

>>51910782
>jump right in between a wall of pikes and a wave of charging enemies
retardation: the manoeuvre

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My favorite elves are Dark Elves.
I wish they didn't catch as much shit as they do, but it's rather understandable given the kind of people who gravitate towards them.

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>>51910848
Just paternal instincts, drying to save these bearded babies from the orcs. Dwarves are known for dying in large quantities, since their inferiority complex fueled bravado gets them in fights with superior races.

Well, they're better at dying I guess.

No seriously, humans get mortality and elves get the option of early check-in from the grey harbour instead of going grey and wrinkly and shitting their pants while forgetting why.

>>51910786
Anybody? I mean they're still Mer, which are elves.

>>51910860
In fact, they're trying to save the orcs by impaling themselves on the dwarven pikes to render them useless.

>>51910794
>one of the orcs shifts his glaive or whatever to the other shoulder so the blade is sticking out in the middle of the column
>Total casualties: 1 elf

>>51910869
I've seen people argue that Khajiit are elves.

>>51910800
The hobbit movies were a pretty damn good 3 hour movies bloated to over 6 hours with material which was simultaneuosly the product of self indulgent excess and souless corporate drudgery.
Also terrible special effects and a whole heap of really bad decisions around many of the core cast members.

>>51910869
As far as I know most orcs don't think of themselves as elves and most elves would be offended at being placed in the same box as orcs. So I guess orismer are elves like tomatoes are fruit.

>>51910869
Technically Tolkien orcs are also elves, just corrupted elves.
So yes, in the two popular settings - LoTR and TES, orcs are elves.

>>51910892
Well are they both elves?

>>51910902
You forgot one where elves are trolls.

>>51910770

Elves hate it! Try this one neat trick to render elves completely helpless!

https://youtu.be/TpsFWBzDHkk?t=204

>>51910860
Do you have the original pic?

>>51910901
>terrible special effects
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the SFX in these movies. One of the few areas where they excelled.

>>51910901
Sweet I'll post some Orsimer next morning.

>>51910902
Can orcs go to the Valinor? That's important. Also Tolkien was never sure about the origin of his orcs, the corrupted elf-thing is just the note that made it into the Silmarillion.

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>>51910922
here you go.

>>51910892
But that is wrong. The beast races are neither mer not human

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>>51910922

>>51910923
Clearly you didn't have the misfortune to see it in Jackson's preferred high framerate form.

>>51910770

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4qCNxB4z4Q

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>>51910922
You will never learn, Manshortsen Lamebonesmith.

>>51910937
Yes it is right. Khajiit are simply Bosmer altered by Azura. One of their species even looks identical to Bosmer.

>>51910944
This doesn't make the effects more flawed, it makes the flaws more easy to notice.
The old LoTR movies in that framerate, resolution and screen size would look worse.

>>51910961
That's what he gets for trying to date above his station. It only leads to pain.

>>51910905
Orsimer are about as elvish as Dunmer.
Khajiit are related to bosmer in some cosmological sense but not elves.

>>51910963
>Khajiit are simply Bosmer altered by Azura.
Other way around as the Khajiit see it:
>And Nirni thanked Y'ffer and let him change the forest people also. And Y'ffer did not have Azurah's subtle wisdom, so Y'ffer made the forest people Elves always and never beasts. And Y'ffer named them Bosmer. And from that moment they were no longer in the same litter as the Khajiit.

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>>51910988
For a half man, every date is above his station.

>>51910988
*above his stature

>>51910994
>Y'ffer
Was this intentional?

>>51911024
Yes Khajiit have slightly different names for most deities, like Lorkhaj, Fadomay, Mafala etc

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Hobgoblin master race.

>Agile as elves

>Tough as dwarves

Are you even trying, slave races?

>>51911035
Oh wait you mean if they tried to call the Bosmer god a yiffer. No, I doubt it.

>>51911023
>he doesn't structure his setting's social class based upon height

Manlet DM confirmed

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SLAY

>>51911053

oy vey!

>>51911039
I could never treat hobgoblins seriously because I will forever associate them with the household spirits I read about as a kid.

>>51911053
I see a goblin trying to infiltrate.

>>51910963
I hope we will finally be able to play as any of the Khajiit races in TES: Elsweyr. Imagine playing as a levitating domestic cat blasting everything apart with hails of fireballs.

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>>51911039
tfw all those weapons would be useless.
not to mention that helmet....

>>51911150

If a 6'6 hob hits you with anything it's going to hurt.

So is it so wrong to have elves be literally superior to other races?

I would make them nonplayable in this sense, but having asshole arrogant elves who are literally better then everyone else seems to be something most people hate, but I could see value in.

>>51911316
I did this once; made them an entire race of immortal supergishes with xp and class levels proportionate to their lifespans. Legions of soldiers where each was level ten or higher. Crazy shit. They lived in a parallel dimension and periodically raided kingdoms for fun and profit, since the drudgery of conquering and holding them was unnecessary on account of their secret realm filled with obedient slaves and magical robots.

>>51911316

If that's your thing check out the Eragon series for the most insufferable fucking elves of all time.

>>51911150
Oh my god, their mouths wouldn't work properly either because of all teh fangs! Unrealistic! Ree!

>>51911553
No reason to accept furry elves when there are actual elves that do the same thing, better.

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Best elves are elves that fight for what is right.

>>51910770

And I thought the surfing on the shield down the stairs while shooting arrows was stupid.

>>51912589
Stupid for a dwarf maybe.
Everyday work for an elf.

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>>51912541
Are warhammer high elves allowed?

>>51910909
>don't tell them this, they don't like it

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>>51912696
I like it. Trolls are swell.

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>>51912756
>supermodel with tusks

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Space Elves Best Elves

Imperial Elven Navy for life

>>51910774
Who the fuck built that shitty bridge?

>>51913093
It's a fallen tower...

>>51910909
That's because Warcraft trolls are essentially ugly elves.

>>51913093
Dwarves. Explains a lot.

>>51910914
Holy shit the extended version was even more retarded.

>>51910800
I thought the first movie was stellar but it seemed Peter Jackson looked at his high adventure kids story and went.

"This was a horrible mistake, we should've just made LotR -1 and -2. So we got movies mostly about fighting and legolas rather then the guile and brohoodness you had in unexpected journey.

>>51910994
Elves are obviously in the right unless khajits claim that all elves come from cats. It would make no sense for only bosmer to come from Khajiits if they're also related to other mer.

>>51911316
It works if they're relatively irrelevant for the main story (not necessarily for the whole metaplot) and/or it's used for comic relief. Arrogant people make for better humour than bufoons with no pride.

>>51913242

But the first movie was terrible. It completely missed the main plot; The Hobbit isn't about vanquishing the Dragon, it's about Bilbo, the stand-in for the Victorian country gentleman, trying to function in a world that operates under the logic of an archaic adventure tale.

Bilbo, fundamentally never changes, he stays the Victorian gentleman, who feels ridiculous in armor and sits out the battle of Five Armies. His notion of courage is doing the right thing, alone, in the dark, where nobody will see or know. And he wins, he's the integral key to success, he's the one who can keep his head and say, give away the Arkenstone.

That's why the Dwarves are a bunch of mealy mouthed businessmen, in way over their heads for most of the adventure, even if they do have some skills. But PJ either doesn't get that or thinks its boring; Hobbit Movie #1 is about How Bilbo Met Ultra-Cool Dwarven Supercommandoes and Eventually Learns To Be Badass Like They Are.

>>51913276
Even today it's not uncommon for some Westerners to label any Asians they see "Chinese".

>>51911316
Its the other way around. First you make them superior to everyone, and then that superiority of course breeds arrogance.
Arrogance is, after all, realized superiority in the company of inferior people.

>>51911316
If you want them as a antagonist maybe.

Players hate arrogant pricks more then they hate savage murders, at least you don't have to TALK to the orc army.

>>51913334
The first movie wasn't about the dragon it was about him willingly going back to help the dwarves even when he previously tried to ditch them.

You are thinking of the second. The first didn't even HAVE a dragon, the bad guy was the orcs.

>>51913124
It literally broke the second Legolas fell on it. Fucking legoles who is so light and swift that he can walk on snow.

>>51913350
I'm a slav, and we just call all africans "black" and all asians "yellow", as well as all peoples from predominantly muslim country "muslims" as if its a species of people/

>>51913242
No, it was still pretty bad. Mediocre at best. It just wasn't absurd levels of bad and wasn't as full of unnecessary shit to make it worst like the others.

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Hey guys what's going on in this thread

>>51913367
Are you calling an elf Fat?

>>51913350
Yes but I don't see your point. Are you impliying ALL elves come from Khajiits?

>>51911398
*most insufferable fucking books

>>51913415
For all I know, why not?

>>51913408
No, hence why the bridge is shit. It's not fathomable that it broke due to Legolas minimum weight.

>>51913466
Maybe it was built by dwarves, thats why its so shit.

>>51913367
It broke when Killer Croc threw a rock half his size at it.

>>51913377
Pretty sure that's universal. Well, yellow is kinda interchangeable with chinese here but that's because chinese rolls better on the tongue.

>>51911053
Why is he holding his sword backwards?

>>51913476
That was before.

>>51913474
There are no dwarfaboos here to make fun of and even if your joke would fall flat. Please stop.

>>51913363

>The first movie wasn't about the dragon it was about him willingly going back to help the dwarves even when he previously tried to ditch them.

>You are thinking of the second. The first didn't even HAVE a dragon, the bad guy was the orcs.

I've been looking at this for about 5 minutes and struggling to figure out how that is a response to my post. I mean for fuck's sake, I even say it's about Bilbo trying to function in a non-victorian world logic. I mention specifically how the Dragon (which is, introduced by the way, it's the stated end goal of the adventure) ISN'T the core plot.

>>51913377
I'm a different slav and we call all black people Negroes and all Asians Chinese.

>>51913503
>There are no dwarfaboos
>on /tg/

>>51913516
>in this thread

>>51913513
Calling them negros is rude in all languages. They are just called black, unless you are feeling edgy.
I mean, its not as bad as doing it in the USA, but its still not desirable.

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>>51913455
This is the elve supremacy thread not the gypsy furry den.

>>51910770

Elves are better at dying.

>>51913531
Negro literally means black, you anglofaggot.

>>51913531
No it's not. In my language, Negro is neutral and black is a racist slur. Shocking, I know!

>>51913495
I think it's supposed to be stylized after a seax.

>>51913531
The police around here still refer to "negro males" or occasionally african person, the insulting term is "american tractor."

>>51913559
Not in your language, you mongol spawn turkoman.
You have a word for black, and its not negro, and you use that to refer to black people.

>>51913575

You forgot "Basketball-American".

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>>51910782
Excellent tactics 10/10 military genius skills honed for thousands of years

>>51913537
>khajiit live in caravans in Skyrim, the most distant province of all from Elsweyr
>actually make money from trade unlike the flithy Dwemer beggars
>"lol khajiit are gypsies"

>>51913578
I'm a literal spic, not the slav. You should've not said "in all languages". You weren't even right for slavic languages, but that would've been justifiable. Not knowing that negro literally means black in spanish makes you automatically retarded.

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>>51910782
>Line infantry tactics
>Leaping over a spear-wall with only a shortsword
>Only two ranks deep
>Over five ranks of spearmen
>In to a horde of orcs armed with heavy spears, swords and bucklers
>Huge gaps in the Elven jumping line

>>51913637
They're also criminals and drug addicts.

>>51913653
Moon sugar is a necessary component of Khajiit diet, it's not a drug to them.

>>51913676
That sounds like something a druggie would say.

>>51913676
>What is Propaganda

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>>51913633
>dwarven military tactics

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>>51913640
It makes sense when you are an elf - the strongest, fastest, and best fighters in the world.

>>51913769
What the fuck is going on here? why are their heads glued? Did I miss somethin? I don't even remember this scene.

>>51913640
And yet they still won the battle. Good on them.

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>>51913815
That dwarf had an axe stuck in his head the whole time. This is when he made himself useful.

Also, here is another webm, with the average dwarven contribution to a fight - being a foot stool.

>>51913815
there's an axe lodged in his head.

>>51913815
Extended edition has extra stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fcJm1Slk2E

>>51913833
Despite the objections of the stupid stuns of Legolas in the first movie, they double-down hard in the prequels.

>>51910800
Because they were.

>>51913575
That would make more sense, but even if it is based on a seax, why would the cross guard cover the cutting edge? The whole weapon seems poorly designed.

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>elves superior to Dragons

Hahahahahaha!

>>51913851
Without those retarded stunts it might have been a half decent movie.

>>51913815
he has that piece of wood stuck in his head and he rammed it into the orks skull.

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>>51913909

>Dragons are superior to giants

HAR HAR HAR

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>>51913982
>humans

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>>51913815
Bifur has an orc axe in his head because comedy.

>>51914042
That's porn.

>>51914055
They are just treating visitors to some gourmet orcish oatmeal.

>>51914042

GREEN'D

>>51914081
This joke has never been made again. Now please fuck off to /a/.

>>51914004
>>>/imgur/

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Why has no other elf managed to surpass him?

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>>51914244
Still counts as one. And he didn't even finish the job, so it counts as zero actually.

Meanwhile my Lego Lass has slaughtered armies.

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>>51914244
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aB6CPyO0Ww

>>51914244
Stabs a guy in the foot and then dies. Wow. Great swordsmanship.

Then Allah takes pity on him and throws in an extra curse to keep the wounds from healing.

>>51914308
Legolas is great, but call me when someone sings of him like this >>51914324

>>51913833
>I am Legolas, and I have a black belt in bow-fu

>>51914358
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlNr-Vf9L2c
Legolas has a superior soundtrack.

>>51914376
>I'm Legolas and welcome to Jackass

>>51914324
God I fucking love that album
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bDVPLDppvE

>>51910782
What's the point of the spears if you're just going to do that?

>>51914456
Can't risk relying on dwarves, they can't do anything right.

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>>51910770
Elves make superior cocksleeves, grow some good herbs too.

>>51914486
>tfw your language doesn't allow for the high elf pun

>>51913833
This is fucking stupid, why didn't he just make a movie about legolas with a new script or something, this doesn't even make sense in The Hobbit.

>>51914563
Your high probably permits for some monarch/religions puns though.

>>51913833
>>51913769
>>51910782
I'm so glad I never watched anything but the first one of these

>>51914563
>tfw high elf sounds retarded when translated into your language

>>51914640
>elfo

>>51913446
>You will never take care of a renegade drow teenager who's virginity you took when her mother gangbanged you with her daughters, teaching her to be a proper lady

>>51914696
N-nothing wrong with that.

>>51913531
Whats rude about negro? You'll just as readily find people telling you 'black' is offensive

>>51913676
Literally every Khajiit is a thief, smuggler or drug dealer in Skyrim.

Makes you wonder if it was intentional or not

>>51914850
Not true, some are just traveling merchants, some are just mercenaries, some are just a wondering lying enigma.

>>51910770
Lmfao the hobbit fight scenes look so fucking fake. Oh my god the way he just waves his swords haphazardly, the rediculousness of it. I can only imagine how tolkein would react if he saw these abominable movies.

>>51914866
The travelling merchants and their guards are all fences and drug dealers anon.

>>51914873
>I can only imagine how tolkein would react if he saw these abominable movies.

"Oh my god, we can create such realistic animation?!?! This is realer than real life!"

Probably something like that. Its how old people react to modern tech.

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The only good elf is a dead elf.

>>51913500
Think you might want to get your eyes checked.

>>51910805
What are the differences between a manchild and a child?

>>51914968
One is bitter, jaded and broken by life's realities.

>>51913769
Oh my god these movies are such a joke lmfao

>>51914984
The other is taller

>>51915034
Only if its an elf.

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Can love bloom between elves and humans?

Even on a battlefield?

>>51910800
Because they made Smaug a Wyvern.

I don't care if it makes me a petty manchild I will stick by this.

>>51913377
>>51913513
But that's wrong you fucking Бypят.

>>51914965
Watch the whole fucking scene nigger, at the end legolas makes his kung fu hold and falls to the "ground" (bridge) and it's broken. This happens after the rock thing. Throwing a rock to a bridge and breaking a section doesn't make it more prone to be broken by elves falling on it.

>>51915089
Wyverns are a kind of dragon, and any setting where this isn't true sucks.

>>51915087
I wish male elf x human female was more popular. Mostly because I've seen lots and lots of artwork of the opposite, so I think it'd be nice just to see something sligthly different for a change.

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This Thread

>>51915087
Please go.

>>51915118
But they aren't proper Dragons.

Plus he had four legs in the first film and they changed it for some reason.

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Greetings, what's going on in this thre- BY THE LIGHT!

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Elves are my favorite, theyre absolutely delicious.

>>51915087
No. It's a fact that elves do not have the capacity to love.

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>>51915271
No more elves 4 u.

>>51914795
that sounds like, it happened in a game once

>>51914629
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SGengnqNIM

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>>51915452
>tfw they willingly feed you their infinity circuits
Hahaha, right. Never mind the fact that the avatar of Ynead has the stats of a keeper of secrets, and never mind that Yneead is a newborn entity that feeds on elf souls. Yneead is definetly going to save the Eldar, now please, resume the feeding <3

>>51915455
It happened in some fanfic I read on literotica

>>51915511
Well Ynnead and Slaanesh are siblings, so it makes sense his avatar would be similar to an avatar of Slaanesh.

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Do the Protoss count? They're basically space elves with a more alien appearance, but still superior to humans.

>>51915582
Protoss are Warhammer Eldars, thus elves.

>>51915582

I second this question and will also add in the Vahnatai for basically cave elves.

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>>51915598
If its superior, its elves.

>>51915582
Wasn't Starcraft supposed to be a WH40k game as well? Besides the pointy ears they seem to check many Eldar boxes.

>>51914456
Who said the dwarves planned for that?
>Dwarves form a phalanx and plan to halt the Orc charge and defeat them in battle
>Elves decide to upstage the dwarves by jumping over their 2 feet high heads and slaughtering the Orcs themselves

How would elven ear shape affect hearing?
>>51915598
They're cave ayyliens not elves.

>>51910869
I would say no because everything in TES is elves, so it's not really a noteworthy factor.

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>>51915271

>>51911117
*fires of hairballs

>>51915776
Epic.

>>51915591
I get the idea but the Starcraft counterparts to 40K factions really are different enough at this point. At times it feels like the Protoss in particular have more in common with the Tau than Eldar, for example

>>51914244
Finrod was my favorite. He was just so pure and righteous!

>>51915131
This. Nipps would have done it; every demon human couple in Inuyasha was handsome demon man x cute human woman

>>51911077
>Not having household spirits as hobgoblins

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"No! Nau! Oloth plynn d'jal!!

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Humans wish they could make armour and weapons like this.

>>51916645
>humans
>making anything

Thieves and opportunists.

>>51910770
What is this, bait?

>>51916778
>hurr durr people who disagree with me are baiting

Back to Dorf Fort, Urist.

>>51916317

fuck viconia, to this day i have weakness for tanned blondes with vicious streak and im exclusively brunette type of guy but

>>51916915
You want mommy to dominate and use you?

>>51914873
I'm sure he would have liked it. He wasn't an angry autist and didn't care about realism in the least.

>>51915131
It doesn't happen because the human males in these pictures are really the audience avatar.

>>51916858
More like Urinist innit m8

>>51915131
>Male elf
We all know those don't exist, anon.

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>>51918073
lies and slander

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>>51918073
Do you get triggered by this?

>>51918117
That face really goes with anything.

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Fine Pariah Elf smithing.

Manfags can't even compare. Still using iron, steel, or leather? Orcish for heavy and glass for light, otherwise GTFO.

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I really want to watch this movie now

This is amazing

>>51910800

As time went on, Peter Jackson felt more and more comfortable making changes, until eventually he was rewriting the story. Legolas-wankerie, dwarf tossing jokes, Nintendo level action scenes, illogical rewrites....

It illustrates the point Tolkien was trying to make about power. Jackson found himself in charge of the legendarium, and despite his initial good intentions he ended up fucking up the whole thing so that he could write his own name onto Middle Earth in 20 mile high letters made of fire.

Hence why the first movie was pretty damn good, but they got worse and worse over time.

Hell, he even tried to cheat the Tolkien estate out of its royalties. Not just petty, greedy, and mean, but self-destructively so.

>>51915469
Was that a literal bridge troll

>>51918439
>Hell, he even tried to cheat the Tolkien estate out of its royalties
Jews jewing Jews.

I think the elves do stupid shit on purpose, to challenge themselves via handicap

>>51918439
I'm still heartbroken that we'll never see the del Toro version. He was clearly the man to capture The Hobbit's atmosphere. And he was going to make just two movies instead of three.

Go to hell you pointy eared bastards

>>51915089
Look at classical paintings of dragons. They're all 2 hind legs, 2 wings. The dragons MUST have 4 legs and 2 wings is a piece of bullshit from lazy copywriters.


You tard.

>>51918439

Jackson's wife is responsible for prompting a lot of script changes.

>>51914968

The latter condition is curable.

>>51913529
>on /tg/

I'm with Elves, but why can't we all just get along?

>>51915465

[It aint me plays softly in the distance]

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ELVES

BTFO
T
F
O

>>51914873
i unironically liked Unexpected Journey though

>>51913242
This A 100 times this.

>>51913334
>But the first movie was terrible.
It was excellent.

>It completely missed the main plot;
This is not relevant in the 21st century for any detectable audience, faggot. Instead it had a strong theme: the roll of home and the longing for it. That is relatable for people.

>>51913391
I watched it multiple times: it's bretty gud. Martin Freeman was great, the singing dwarves and the dwarves fighting the trolls were all pretty memorable. Also Gollum.

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>>51915582
Protoss chicks are also hot too.

>>51920022
>It was excellent.

There was nothing excellent about it. It was a mediocre action-comedy, if you pretend you're in a world where it's not an adaptation, filled with ridiculously goofy fake fight scenes and crap like the rabbit sled.

Given the fact that it IS an adaptation, and it literally can't even figure out the main theme of the book that it's adapting, it's shit. If you want to make a movie about the call of home, MAKE THAT MOVIE. Hell, you could even do something where your protagonist is swept up in something actually compulsory, then you'd have real drama! You could play up all the bad weather and bad food and hardship and "oh god this sucks", instead of making it all wacky and "fun", and look at Bilbo who gets to see awesome Rivendell.


If you like it, that's fine. I have guilty pleasures too. But don't try to pretend they're "excellent".

>>51915582
>>51920159
They're more like space ancient Egyptians

even the hive mind sounds very islamic

>>51920260

So you're saying the journey was bogus?

>>51920838
>ancient egyptians
>islamic
wut

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>>51910770
Greetingsss fellow elfssss.

>>51914244

>fingolfin
>blonde

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>>51914486

>>51918149

What a lovely lady! What's her name?

>>51914795
People like you need to either write short stories or hold your tongue.

>>51915515
Link?

>>51910770
kys

Elder Scrolls Elves cover all based
>Magic
Altmer
>Stealth
Bosmer
>Melee
Orsimer
>All around
Dunmer
>Technology
Dwemer

Manfags can't compete. Dwemer don't even count as dwarves since it's a misnomer as the first race they met were giants.

>>51915746
>everything in TES is elves
except for the Men, Argonians, Sload, Imga, Akaviri, Daedra, Aedra, Magna-Ge, Magnus and Lorkhan

>>51923318
>Dwemer
Ded race.

>>51923511
more than dead, they collectively erased themselves from existence

>>51923416
And you forgot Khajiit

>>51910770
>Comment on what your favorite elves are
Half elves. Humans and Elves are both at their best when working together.

Sometimes I wonder if those that post /e/ pics hate elves.

>>51925266
Elves are a proud and noble race!!

>>51924582
The Jury is still out on that one.

>>51910923
It was visually impressive but it looked like a video game. I'm not normally susceptible to the uncanny valley but Dain in that twirly-whirly clip posted here looks like he's possessed by the devil, and that's in the lower youtube quality. I can't imagine what a nightmare he was in 60fps.

Compared to how good the practical effects were in the original trilogy, the SFX in the hobbit are godawful.

>>51910770
Tips on taking human dick? The length I can handle, but the girth is a pain - literally!

>>51910770
>Comment on what your favorite elves are
the dead ones

>>51918480
>muh jews
The Tolkiens are so Germanic they sing Wagner, dummy.

>>51925339
>The Jury is still out on that one
Are you saying there are theories they are descendants of for Aldmer as well, or are you just fucking with me?

>>51925578
>>51925633
Both please end each other.

>>51923520
No they didn't. They're just plating on the Numidium.

>>51925578
Human cocks have a lot more variety than Elven cocks do. Ranging from much bigger to much much smaller. Maybe your partner just isn't the right match for you?

>>51925788
Consider suicide.

Holy shit I'm so glad I didn't watch this movie... What a trainwreck.

>>51913842
...Holy shit. They killed that waste of character, and it still didn't feel satisfying.

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>>51925578
>human dick

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Where does the idea of the bigger human dick come from? Most elves are the same height or even taller than humans. Is it just a power fantasy or porn?
It's also an asshole thing to post something like this in this thread

>>51925830
Delete your Marcille folder, you don't deserve her.

>>51913367
Couldn't handle Legolas awesomeness.

>>51925846
It's a black/white thing

>>51925861
So elves have the bigger dicks.

>>51925861
This is a racist stereotype about the Drow

>>51925846
Aren't elves supposed to be shorter than humans?
Fuck why is this never consistant?

>>51915469
This is so silly, I love it.

>>51925879
>Aren't elves supposed to be shorter than humans?
It finally really depends on the setting.
>Fuck why is this never consistant?
Because elves are variable.

>>51925879
nordic -> tall superhumans
british -> diminutive fair folk

>>51915087
Human and Elf? Absolutely

But Thalmor scum? Not enough fire in the belly of Alduin to purify that.

I almost saved that pic too. Damn shame.

>>51912605
Tell us about them

>>51912789
3 fingers and hairy forearms
Different enough. I'd squirt inside her like crazy still

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>>51925934
Dragon riding, giant lion hunting not!Noldor, stuck-up assholes that have actually something to back their pride up because they are one of the first and best when it comes to fighting the literal bad guys of their setting and even though they are in the decline at the moment, they are still one of the major powerhouses. Some of them even use axes.

>>51925977
What's their stance on fucking and sucking? Prudes or lewds?

Also who is their leader? A faggot or a woman?

>>51926217
>What's their stance on fucking and sucking? Prudes or lewds?
Who cares, they are metal.
>Also who is their leader?
They got a Phoenix King.

>>51926284
Alright I guess they are acceptable but they to take qualify as an elf they should be more gay

>>51926349
Why?

>>51926382
Being pretty gay is the secret to eleven "supremacy"

>>51926438
Elves are a noble and proud race.

>>51926438
I don't understand.

>>51926438
Also key to elven "low birth rate"

>>51926468
[citation needed]

>>51925846
>Where does the idea of the bigger human dick come from?

Ancient Greece, where having a large cock was associated with primitivism, barbarism and animality, and subsequently having a lil weener was seen as a sign of sophistication, elegance, intellect and high culture.

>>51926905
Was it Greece or Persia where getting aroused while wrestling or fighting or any other war related activity was considered very favorable and something to celebrate?

>>51913901
In all likelyhood, it is not sharp all the way down, and the "upward guard" can be used to hook weapons.
Seaxes, even longseaxes, didnt usually have ANY guard.

>>51926905
I don't think that everyone that spouts "My so human dick is so humanly and big!" is knowledgeable about ancient greek culture.

>>51926955
>knowledgeable about ancient greek culture.
Greek culture m8. The foundation of Western culture? You aren't knowledgeable about a lot of things yet they still influence you. Anon over here >>51926905 is exactly right. Barbarians or primitive people tend are stereotyped as having large dicks and being overtly sexually aggressive.

>>51926955
Considering he's actually perfectly right, you should seriously shut the fuck up.

>>51927251
>>51927281
I meant in the sense that he won't cite Strabo to back up the big dick meme. It would rather be porn and the usual power fantasies.

>>51923149
>>51915455
Don't you know the old /tg/ story that image is related to?

>>51922856
Source?

>>51925879
>Aren't elves supposed to be shorter than humans?
That idea was more popularized by DnD than anything. And DnD doesn't have a monopoly on elf variants.

>>51928430
Not really. Germanics had very tall superhuman elves, but other people had short, mischievous elves.

>>51927395
Reminder that the majority of the old stories have been lost to time and no one ever bothered to catalog them

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>>51910770
This is a bait thread but FF14 legitimately has 10/10 bro-tier elves.

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>>51931962
Life is meaningless.

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>>51932013
>mfw Louisoix goes super saiyan Gandalf the White

>>51931375
>Germanics had very tall superhuman elves
I really need a citation for that.

>>51933662
Grímnismál and Gylfaginning.

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>>51913503
>muh dorfs!

>>51933559
What would murrican elves be like?

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>>51934657
Slightly chubby.

>>51934757
And I thought japan is shite at adopting western fantasy.

>>51934757
>>>>>>>>slightly

>>51934657
D&D. Dungeons and Dragons is literally American. American elves are D&D elves.