Keila is a girl from a simple lumber milling village. She is

>>51869509
I'm AxeHands, and I'm a giant killer robot that has axes for hands.

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>>51869509
I am... uh... John Johnson, a trustworthy and reliable mercenary. A real hero! Hey, what's wrong with your pants? Are they so small, because you can't afford proper clothing? You do have money, yes?

>>51869509
Good luck, miss. You'll be needing it where you're going.

>>51869542
/thread

>>51869588
She has her Grandfather's mastercraft sword which I'll pawn off to pay for your services. He served in the military in the the last war with the Empire

>>51869542
What does mister golem need?

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>>51869509
(Expunged)

I already know what you want!

THERE ARE NONE WHO ARE WORTHY OF MY SKILL!

>>51869693
ADVENTURE SUSTAINS AXEHANDS

>>51869724
I'll keep you squeeky clean then!

>>51869509
Gunther. I have a big dick and I'm very good in bed.

>>51869764
Ok... I gues we can use some one we a sly tounge

>>51869764
She clearly has fingers of her own, so...

Any useful skills?

So we have an Axe Golem, Johnson the merc, a deranged sage, and Gunther the sweet talker

>>51869821
Uh... Fate has foretold!

>>51869791
I can also cook and tame succubi and other lesser demons. Mostly with hip gyrations. The demons and succubi take a sword though.

Anymore applications? I need someone who is familiar with the way to the Northern front.

>>51869948
Cartographer and explorer here, I can lead us there.
I can also read. And I have a small dagger. You don't want me in the fighting.

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>>51869948
Trapper and army scout. I think I can help, which part of the Northern Front you headed to, miss?

>>51870181
Uh, we don't need this guy. He seems like a fraud to me.

>>51870181
Burn you, Malcom! It's been years! Did your brother ever make it home?

>>51869509
i am fred the rapist
i am an apothecary of some reknown and also incredibly wealthy
my nickname comes from an unfortunate misunderstanding many years ago
let's get going

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>>51870301
Your face, it seems... Familiar. Have we met?

>>51869509
I suppose she needs a few more companions, than heterosexuell males
after all, she wants to stay pure for Alden

>>51870370
pff, I'm an old man, the pecker dun't even work anymore. But my eyes still do

>>51870370
Axehands will protect her purity >>51869542

>>51870248
He never did, Horace. Tracked his party as far as the North Passage before early snows forced us back. Last anyone saw him was a trade post outside of Bastion. I blame the elves.

How about you, you old dandy, did you ever find someone to take you past the southern border?

>>51870370
I'M BLIND!

>>51870399
and you are who?

>>51870443
good, but we still need a hetero female or homo male companion, or an asexuel one, or something like axehand again

>>51870456
that doesn't mean, you can't touch her anymore

>>51869865
>The demons and succubi take a sword though.
and I thought, you use your big dick for that

>>51870494
Where!? Who is talking to me?

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>>51870350
hard to say. i meet a lot of people in my line of work.

do you go to jazz clubs?

>>51870494
Isn't that what I said? Hip gyrations are useless if not punctuated with the thrust of a mans sword.

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>>51869509

>a seven foot tall construct made of stone towers before Keila. It's glowing, blue eyes are fixed on the girl.

"muffled humming noise"

>the silent being uses it's it's clunky, three-fingered arm to point at the girl and slowly moves it's hand back to it's chest.

"muffled humming, followed by a short, damp beeping noise"

>the construct kneels down and carefully reaches it's hand towards Keila


How does she react?

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>>51869509

Designation The133th.
This one is an magically animated sentient machine with superhuman durability combat ability
This one will honor this one's end of the contract in words and spirit.
This one will accompany you in your journey.
This one's service are available for the right price.

The133th accept payment in precious metal or rare items.

Note: This one posses no sex organ of any kind. This one will be trusted as loyal companion who will protect your body and purity for the right price.

>>51870520
well, ok, I am Keila's brother, who was also at the northern front
I don't understand my sister
the whole battle was a massacre

>>51870674
oh, sorry, my fault

>>51869509
Elvish spear fighter ranger and known hero here.
Even if i think - but not say so - that this task is maybe a little boring i really believe in love and hope you find your friend... and if now... well you seem to be quite hot...

>>51870494
Horace
I make maps, I am an explorer and cartographer

>>51870453
I did but the bloke died a month in. I got lost for three. Came back with some impressive scars from the bassers and gorshes.

>>51871011
where is Axe when we need him?

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>>51869509
Quite the retune that you're acquiring now young lady, at this rate you'll need someone to finance the expedition. I'd be happy to if you let me come along and permitted one small detour.

>>51870703
I don't like the look of this one. Surely my sword will be enough to protect the maidens purity! Did I mention my rate? It's very low. Very low. One would have to get on their knees to truly understand just how low it is.

>>51869509
Hi! It doesn't matter who I am or what I'm doing; all you need to know is that I took levels in Thrallherd. Come along, Blond 3.

>>51871146
Would you be needed a map for this detour?

i'm a pissy anon and I can call your foes faggots.

Pay me.

>>51869718
Thank you. Really.

>>51871234
I suppose, it's not even a detour really just a side stroll it'll hardly take any time at all I just want to reclaim something of mine from the Ferrus Marshes.

>>51871381
Now I'm sure I've got a map of the Ferrus Marshes. Or was it the Ferrous Hills? Dammit, I'm sure I've both. Or neither, wait. NO! Here it is! Yes, I keep it here next to the tube with the map of the Verros Marches....

>>51869509
I'm Pierre Grognard. I have zero useful skills, but I can convince you that your boyfriend sucks so that you can stay home.

>>51869509
>Keila is actually horrifyingly scary to Adden
>Adden purposely went to war as an opportunity to avoid her

>>51869509
I'll take the offer if she sits on my dick.

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>>51869509
I, SHINING JUSTICE RAINBOW VALKYRIE, would be honored to fight for the cause of true love!

I wield the power of light and goodness to heal and protect the innocent and bring justice to the forces of darkness!

>>51871537
forget that, even I failed as her brother

>>51872099
sounds great, but one question still remains, are you a lesbian, or bisexuell?

>>51872158
What's a "lesbian"?

And "bisexual", do you mean like those worms that are both boys and girls at the same time? How rude of you to even suggest such a thing!

>>51872243
ok, you are hired. just make sure, that no man comes near my sister

>>51869509
Hmm ... I am Mortimer and I specialize in recon and moving unseen as well as eliminating single targets. May I ask what are your skill young maiden?

>>51872257
You can count on me! A magical girl would never allow something as pure as true love to be sullied!

>>51869865
I would enjoy watching your cooking techniques.

>>51872158
Don't get in haste to discount my skills until you've heard me bitch and moan.

>>51872543
and how would that work?

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>>51869509
My, my, my! Heading off to the northern front are we? Would you mind if I tag along? I can promise you good company, an able sword at your back, and a promise to keep you and all of your companions safe with my life, should the need ever arise! Of that you have my word!

And before I forget my manners, my name is Adrian. Adrian Nathriale.

>>51872640
Oh chap you certainly look familiar...
Didn't you lose a horse to me in a game of Bagger?

>>51872713
Unfortunately not. What I lost to you during our game of Bagger, was a sack of silver, and an expensive bottle of wine. I would never bet my darling Serena on a game! That would be cruel! Far too cruel!

>>51872572
I shall go on to the end, I shall bitch in France, I shall bitch on the seas and oceans, I shall bitch with growing confidence and growing strength, I shall bitch all across our Island, whatever the cost may be, I shall bitch on the beaches, I shall bitch on the landing grounds, I shall bitch in the fields and in the streets, I shall bitch in the hills; I shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then other members of the Grognard extended family beyond the seas, armed and guarded by exemplary close-mindedness, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, everyone is exhausted and willing to do anything to stop the ceaseless bitching.

>>51869542

I kek'd

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rattle rattle

>>51872792
What? Serena? Certainly wasn't your horse then, I swear I've had LaChance for long as I can remember. Truth told can't remember too far. Oh well, she's a darlin. Was that wine from South Barrowton? I've a dozen maps or so made of the Barrowald's valleys and cliffs, old ruins, you know. Come to think of it, twer a man lookin a might less affluent than you. I like Barrowald wine, they make it of plums.
Anyway, I'm a master of Bagger, at least, though I fret mentioning it may meet with many a challenge to a game!

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>>51869509
Well hiya there! I heard you might be looking for a good group of traveling companions for the road, and I figured I'd offer you a hand!

I like to think I'm half decent with a bow and arrow, and I know how to cook a meal that would make you cry tears of joy!

>>51872796
Anyone ever tell you, you sound alot like Lady Tria Werntale of Budourn? Just constantly bitching!

>>51872901
That's quite the eye for wine you have my friend! That wine is indeed from South Barrowton! I always grab a bottle or two for the road whenever I pass through it! I hope you could taste the apple and citrus in the wine! It gives it a sweet, and rather tangy flavour.

>>51873011
Have you met the lady? I hear she's a mouth of a horse. Never could tell if that were to how she speaks or if it were that she's long in the tooth.
So well then, you're a purveyor of the swagger'd drink I see. Truth I like my wines of plum from the northeastern Barrowald hills, such Tanter and Greenbarrow wines. Take ye' a trip oe'r seas sometime west then you'd best try the spiced rum at Cragshore Spire

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I have business up that way. Hop on and hold on tight, I intend to make as few stops as possible. If you can cook alls the better.

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>>51869509
Hello, child. My name is Ralof Gudborn, and I'm returning home which is near by the Northern Front. I have no problem accompanying you to find your childhood sweetheart if you desire. I can fight well and I have years of experience under my belt as a mercenary guard to Emperor Balius II in the south, and I willing to die to keep you safe if the price is right. If you wish Keila, I will help you.

>>51873331
Was it you what lost LaChance to me in Bagger?

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Hmmm
So you need help
Hmm nootka hmm
*look at the horse*
Hmm you work for me now

>>51873420
Horace you Son of a Bitch! *strong handshake*
You won a damn good amount of gold from me you sneaky devil, but it a fun night of drinking and whoring! It's good to see you again!

>>51873504
Careful of the wrist, my boy! Not what it used to be. One of these days you younger's are gonna realize you can't drink and Bagger with old Horace!
But do y' mind helpin me with all these tubes?

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APOLOGIES FRIENDS AXEHANDS WAS OUT SPENDING HIS STARTING WEALTH ON AXES

AXEHANDS DOES NOT KNOW WHERE HE ACQUIRED STARTING WEALTH FROM BUT HE HAS IT NO LONGER

AXEHANDS HAS AXES THOUGH

FOR HANDS

>>51873559
No problem my friend! *starts picking up the tubes* this child, Keila, does she know the risks at the Northern Front?

>>51873698
Thank you my boy. The girl must know, I think, she's aware of the war at least. I swear I met her beau once before I think, Arlen, Landen, somethin. Dunno, won a copper egg from the chap.

>>51873670
You are a big....man? I do like your Axes though! An axe is a man's best friend, after a dog of course.

I would slit her throat with my +2 keen dagger and force her underwater where her flowing blood quickly stains the water red, her struggles and gurgles reduced to quiet splashes that can barely be heard even a few feet away. Once she stops moving, I will drag her body to the forest and begin cutting it up into smaller pieces that are easier to conceal. After having my way with her corpse, of course.

>>51873742
I've heard disturbing rumors of a, dare I say, a wurm moving around in the mountains near the Northern Front. Most likely the superstitions of some the natives that live there, but it is something to be concerned about. It's very likely not a wurm, since there's no such thing, but could be a barbarian horde using the mountain trails to move there men.

>>51873819
NO

>>51873881
Tell you the truth I don't believe in monsters anymore anyway. I've seen the skulls of a hundred different beasts of all shapes and sizes and the thing is, they were skulls, nothin more. Beasts die, none of them don't.

I heard a lot while chartin Kallemen that there's was dead walkin everywhere and you know what I saw? I saw some dirty chaps with boils and sores starvin to death and attackin people for food, lost a horse to em. Bastards startin eatin him raw right there, poor chaps.
Let met tell you, wadn't no monsters, just disease. I've never seen a wurm, but a lil trade secret, you sell more maps when you tell people you have.

I mind to drawin em on the edge's of the parch too, hehe

>>51873973
HAHA! That's why I like you Horace, smart and full of guile.
>>51873819
You. I don't like you. AXEHANDS, I believe it's time to show this fellow how men, and robots, the power of the axe.

>>51874039
ENGAGING COMBAT MANEUVERS

>AXEHANDS may attack with both of his hands at no penalty. They count as magical for overcoming damage resistance, deal 2d12+5 damage each, grant him +9 on all attack rolls, and have the Vorpal quality. These qualities also apply to any mundane weapons he wields.
>AXEHANDS may then use the Improved Quickdraw Feat to immediately draw and attack with any two weapons in his inventory. Typically, these are axes.
>He may then use a swift action to drop the axes, and use Improved QuickDraw to draw and attack two more axes.
>Due to his Improved Swiftness ability, he may repeat this process until he runs out of weapons in his inventory.
>After AXEHANDS has run out of axes, he may cast Magic Missile LVL 5 from his eyes, hitting an opponent automatically with 5 missiles (per eye). Due to his Spell Focus: Magic Missile, these missiles hit for 1d10+5 damage each
>AXEHANDS may then take a free action to breath fire in a 30 foot cone in front of him. Due to his racial levels, this does 8d6 fire damage. A successful Reflex save (DC 37) halves the damage.
>AXEHANDS may then spend an Action Point to repeat the entire process. In addition, due to his Enhanced Looting class feature, he automatically picks up any and all weapons dropped whenever he spends an Action Point, allowing him to put all of his dropped axes back into his inventory without an action.
>AXEHANDS has 23 Action Points. 26 if he is in his Favored Environment: In the Atmosphere.
>Once his turn ends, AXEHANDS's Familiar may act immediately after him. AXEHANDS has chosen himself as a Familiar.

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>>51869509
You'll get nothing but this poem from me.

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, when dreary yellow rains
Tell you, you should not.
Wait when snow is falling fast,
Wait when summer's hot,
Wait when yesterdays are past,
Others are forgot.
Wait, when from that far-off place,
Letters don't arrive.
Wait, when those with whom you wait
Doubt if I'm alive.

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait in patience yet
When they tell you off by heart
That you should forget.
Even when my dearest ones
Say that I am lost,
Even when my friends give up,
Sit and count the cost,
Drink a glass of bitter wine
To the fallen friend -
Wait! And do not drink with them!
Wait until the end!

Wait for me and I'll come back,
Dodging every fate!
"What a bit of luck!" they'll say,
Those that would not wait.
They will never understand
How amidst the strife,
By your waiting for me, dear,
You had saved my life.
Only you and I will know
How you got me through.
Simply - you knew how to wait -
No one else but you.

>>51874039
Sorry, I was off helping a man with a cart, bad back, but I can change a wheel, for sure.
I thank you, Ralof, you've always been too kind. >>51874342
Now now, Axehands, your talent will be put better use when we get to the front line. Wouldn't do you much good to go swingin about at places where you accept work for coin, lest you like to sleep out in the cold and the rain. No one is telling you ya bad at yar occupation, axe. You wouldn't make maps any better than I'd swing one of those axes. Now try this wine, it's mullberry!

I kind of want to see this happen now... Someone drawfag this

Keila
Axehands
Johnson
Deranged Sage
Gunther
Malcom
Fred
Horace
Keila's brother
The113th
Elvish Spearmaster
Gentleman Crow
Bartholomew Doff
SHINING JUSTICE RAINBOW VALKYRIE
Mortimer
Adrian Nathriale
Melissa Hannaford
Ralof Goodborn

>>51875619
Can she even pay for all these people?

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I am Sir Winterfist, hero of the Northern Seas, conquerer of the Isles, destroyer of Olaf the White, slayer of the Dragon if Raven Hall and... Well, I am an honest man and not afraid to admit when I am bested, and I am clearly outmatched. I concede Victory to thee, Sir AxeHands, you're clearly the better man.

>>51875853
Didn't I win a noisy bird from you in a game of Bagger?

>>51875863
Look, if this is about that cursed Raven, I'm afraid I've sworn a Holy Vow of No Takebacks. He's yours now.

>>51875926
Oh he's not here any more. Complained about the cheese, followed me around for weeks. Damned bird never even ate the cheese, just squawked about it, "Yi cheese is bad!", again and again.

Good eats though.

>>51875634
For a magical girl, a good deed is its own reward! To see true love prevail and the darkness of despair driven back by the light is all the payment I need!

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Is it too late to join in?

I am the good witch Scroopius Fly Mallowtaur, the sea-witch of the Northern Forests.

I swear that my claws shall no burden lay before fair Keila. Tis' a chance at seeing true love blossom that brings me from my hidden grotto!

Will this be a lightbhearted fantasy comedy show?

Tfw Keila reunites with her loce who is shell shocked. She makes love to him to comfort him. Shining Justice Rainbow witnesses it.

So one of Keila's companions will be an Imperial spy right? Keila's brother and SHINING JUSTICE RAINBOW will become an item.

Horace is the Imperial Spy who uses cartography as a cover to gain logistical intel for the Empire

>>51876355
AXEHANDS cannot be trusted, for they bear a shocking resemblance to the Emperor's long lost son.

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Girl. You do know we're headin north right? Go get some better clothes on. Yeah it ain't gonna be snowin but it also ain't gonna be shorts' weather too.

Anyway I'm headin there too. My home; south from here. Got word to send one of their healers up. Seeing how my mom was the only healer in town and that she's been training me to do healin too. She set me. I'm alright with this sword but I'm better at making healing remedies and potions.

When are we leaving? We are surely ready for the journey.

>>51876427
That's preposterous! I'm an explorer!

>>51876453
You DARE impugn the honor of the noble Sir AxeHands?! How dare you!! Why, I can say with full honesty that Sir AxeHands is the most trustworthy giant robot with axes for hands that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting!!

>>51876453
I heard the emp's son got hisself chapped by wild dogs. Sad fate, so mundane, but I never met him.

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>>51876643
>>51876652
>>51876521
Something ain't right here.

>>51875634
Does it matter? By now it is clear that the cruel empire must be stopped at all costs. Regardless it's been a while since I went on an adventure.

>>51876652
That may be so, Sir, but those soulful, glistening axes mark him an inveigler of most potent and titled breed.

Such a giant robot shall leave only shattered hearts and darkened spirits in his wake.

...And only some of them because of Axehands' axe hands!

>>51869542
Drawfriends please

>>51876727
Ah so that is what they are saying ... good to know.

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>>51869509

RAWR! ME IS FROG! ME IS EAT ALL DA TASTIES N' TAKE DA SHINIES FOR SELF IF PROMISE NO BAD! RAWR!

>>51872796
dude, that would rather give her more of a reason, to search for her love one

well, it's Keilas brother again, so what people do we have so far?

I'm nip-rip.
The dwarvin barbarian with a unhealthy fixation on ripping off peoples nipples.
As for what I do with them? Crafting leather ware for weirdos.

Ever rip off a giants nipple girly? Feed a family of 8 for a month or make two coats out of the one..

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>>51869509
Ted, cityguard, my entire city was kidnapped and I am on the way to rescue it.
No not the people, the city, they stole it, while I was taking a well deserved rest.

>>51881461
I might not be the best at my job, but my skills with polearms are unmatched

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>>51869509

>>51869542
Can Axehands be my friend too?

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>>51869509
Higgs...you goin'...wherever? Maight you be in need of my...higggss. arcane might maiden? I'll take a pair of nail clippings, a blotch of ink and your loathing for purple bugs as payment.

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>>51869509
(An arctic wolf pads up to her, rears up on its hind legs, and bops her on the head before laying down at her feet. Whenever she gets up, it follows her. Does she shoo it away?)

>>51869509
*steals her boots while she's not looking*

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>>51869509
Rookie McJobber. I can breathe and pull a trigger.

>>51884668
*Nope*

>>51884347
AXEHANDS CAN BE EVERYONE'S FRIEND

>>51870370
Get lost, carpet muncher, I know your angle.

>>51884625
She pets it

>>51884786
*oh yes*

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>>51869509
>All these people who want to sully this young maiden's honor

Not on my watch! Keep your grandfather's sword young lady. I shall accompany you on your journey!

>>51884933
*you feel a sharp pain in your neck then fall unconscious*

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Keila is enjoying the afternoon with a cold beveragr

>>51884970
*you remember the strange drink you drank a couple of days ago, then fall super unconscious*

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Uh...Hank. Hank Hill. I sell propane and propane accessories. And my lawn is the nicest in Arlen. Listen, miss, are you sure you should be going to the Northern front? It's bound to be filled with crackheads and debutantes.

>>51885111
I test all of my drinks for poison/drugs, I would never drink something that looked strange or was druged.

>>51885206
I don't have a neck.

>>51885215
I stabbed a mass of blood vessels.

>>51885260
>Having a vascular system at all

What kind of shit tier organism do you take me for?

>>51885274
What type of Organism are you?

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>>51869509
Keila my love! You won't believe what happened to me after my platoon was wiped out; I've been through some problems after deserting, but I'm just glad I...

W-who are all this people!?

>>51885290
Get in the line, fuckboy.

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>>51869509
General Bonemarrow, Necromancer-in-robe of the 133rd Legion Eternal.
Certainly, we could always use more coin to equip the troops and you've nothing to fear for my men, they've not much interest in young women anymore. As for your lover, I wouldn't worry, the fighting might be hard in the Northern front, but if he isn't on his feet when we get there, he soon will be afterwards.

I hope this isn't a quest thread...

>>51884930
(The wolf grins, and trots off. After a few minutes, it comes back with with a satchel about the size of Keila's hand. After she opens it, she is shocked to find that it contains a flawless mirror the size of her palm. After turning over the mirror, it's apparent that the back of the mirror is pure silver. Keila notices also that depending upon the angle at which she views the mirror, a different phase of the moon is displayed. The wolf plops down at Keila's feet again, conspicuously avoiding the mirror's gaze)

>>51885289
Why, a humble neutronium golem.

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>>51869509
I̧͇͍ s̷͓H̱̰͍͙̯̜͞ͅḁ̤l̞̪͎̯̻L̻̦̘ ͓͉̱a̙̥̰̙͚̟̱c̪̞̙̹͔̳̞cO̬̥͙̹̝̞M̛͖̙̻̤̠p̱̙͚̗̼͝ͅa̤̻n̲̰͜Y̨̭ ̡̘̱̗̟y̜̕o̗̭U̻̠ ͙̟̹͠t͍̗̻̬H̯͈͠ͅr̸̹͓̱̹̗o̫u̝͕͔̦̣̕G̲̣̰ͅḪ̸̟̭̭͔ ̴̻̪̪S͢p̭͙̫͔̺̹̕á̞̳̙̖Ce̘̟̥̭ ̵͈̥̭a̶̱N̙̗̙̤̲̲ͅd̗̦̹̭͈ ̻̟̫̯͝t͓̳I̭̪͡ͅm̭̪̞e͙͉̪ ͍̱͍̪̠̼̙fo̙r͉͓ ̟̻t͖͕͠he̩͓͖͚R̩̹̰e͖̞̺̲ ̝̩̦̦̮Į͎̦̝̞s̳̺̮̱͈ ̜̲̜̝͘n̠̣͈O͕̞̪̥ ̫̗F̶̲ơ̮̟̼̳̙ͅṛ̺̹̤͎͉ͅC̸ͅȩ͓̱̮̹̩͓ ͉͚m̜͚̯̞̖͙͞o̪̘͇Ṛ͈͜e̩̙͙ ̗̬̱̫͉͓p͜r̜̬̗̮͙͚i̙̼̣͉̠M̡a͕͙L a̸̦͙̫͚͍ͅͅn͇͈͔D̰ t̪̞̯̯̞ȩ̰̙r̫̥͉͜R̢̼i̜̞͡blL̴̤̪̰̳e̡̲ ̛̮t̞̝͔h̗͘A͟n̺̗ ͕͇̖̮͍̻L̗͉̝o͎̪V͖͕͍͙͈̦e͡.̧ ̘͇͎̘̝̜͙F̳͇i͙͘N̝d̟͇̺̤̻̦̖ ̝M̛̤̼̺̬̯a̬̺̥̞͍̬̩d̠̗͇̳̞̼̻n̝̞̫͍̲E͚͎̜S̺̳S͔̥͕̻̤͔̥ ͖̤̙̱̘̲̥͘a̪̗͖͉̤͉n͇̹̹̫̦͙̭D̝͈͙̼̬̘͟ ̧̗̖͕̪̫E̴̙n̵̝͍l̘̝͙̫̺̝̜I̪͕̟͜ͅG͎̯h̪͕̤̱t͕̠͔̮͙͕͝e̯̯n̳͈͕͈̘͜M͓͇̪̬̀e̛nṭ͓͕̀ ̢̼̩̦̼͎̘̗i͖̭̙N͡ ̶̹̲͓̬̬̱̳A̳̥̗͓n͇o͚̭͙̠T̴͚h̼̪er̻̪̞͎S͓͎̤̟͖ A̺͔̯̺̱͞r̹M͖s̬̩̤͚̲̀
͈̰̳̠͙̦̰͢

>>51885369
*CLANG!* You are shattered by an immovable rod.

>>51869509
I'm Charles the Babykiller. I saved the princess from a speeding cart once by throwing a child in front of it. Everyone seems to have a mixed opinion of me, but I'm glad to give my assistance if you'll accept it.

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>>51885540
Dude...

>>51885540
*You are now aware that an immovable rod is falsely advertised magical product and in reality it's just a not very movable rod*

>>51885639
(Would a immovable rod destroy a neutronium golem?)

>>51886104
Not unless it was totally immovable and totally indestructable and even then its unlikely.

>>51869675

Well fuck, maybe if she'd given it to her love before he had to go off he might still be alive. And gotten the sword back when he returned a hero.

Welp. Live and learn.

>>51877776
THIS

>>51885290
>>51885309

I can picture this: A girl starts a quest to find her boyfriend, and then a bunch of crazy people appears in search of adventure.

Then the boyfriend returns and can't even reach the girl because of the mob of adventurers hounding her.

>>51886907
>Boyfriend demands to be let through
>"To pass, you must get through ME!"
AND SO THE TOURNAMENT ARC BEGAN

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>>51887534

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>>51869509
Tog Stoutoak, Kneecapper, Lumberjack, and Hipster Location Scout will do your dirty work. Provided there's beer and pay aplenty.

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>>51869509
Ara~? Coincidentally I'm interested in heading north aswell. How about we share the travel, yes? I know many spells that will certainly prove useful. Also this Alden darling of yours sounds like a lovely young man I could also take interest in him

>>51887534
>>51886907
>>51886562
We scott pilgrim now aint we?