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Name a race worse than Kender. you can't

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Name a race worse than Kender.
you can't
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>>51864580
Spellscales, while debatable whether they're on the same level as kender, are absolutely insufferable in their own way.
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>>51864580
Teiflings

>inb4 butthurt
>>
Any race can be played awfully, but I can't think of any that deliberately go out of their way to state "you must act like a complete dickbag to play this race" as the Kender.
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>>51864580
Sergals.
>>
catan?
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>>51864674
Are Eladrin and Tieflings even a thing anymore?
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>>51864760
*chakat
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>>51864580
how about kender mindflayers?
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>>51864703
If you play a kender as a complete dickbag, you did it completely wrong. You're supposed to play as if you had childlike curiosity, mild kleptomania, and a case of chuunibyou.

If you endanger the party, steal important things, or upset your allies, you did it wrong.
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>>51864775
This.
It might be the only thing.
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>>51864804
You would have to be playing as a kitten that rolled a nat20 on cha for that not to get old after the first time.
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>>51864765
Tieflings yes, Eladrin kinda.

Tieflings are a core-ish race in 5e (they're in the PHB, but are listed as being a "check your local setting for compatibility" race)

Eladrin are in the 5e DMG as an example of how to make homebrew subraces; they've become a subrace of elves that have more Fey powers.
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>>51864580
Spaniards.
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>>51864580
How do they reproduce? They're a race of kids piggybacking off every other race.
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>>51865039
They have a pretty strong sense of community and have it together enough to farm and such. It's like one of those hippie communes only without the rampant drug abuse.
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>>51865039
I remember someone saying that they imagined that halflings probably had wild orgies during their summer festivals where the young adults get together and fuck en-mass while drunk and high, which is what keeps them from having wanderlust.

I imagine that that's how Kinder actually have sex; a big group of them get naked somewhere new and just FUCK.
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>>51864580
Dragonborn?
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>>51865039
How do you think? Just because they look and act childish doesn't mean they're sterile.
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>>51864674
I'm butthurt at all the halfbreed "races". They are not a race. End this faggotry.
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>>51865093
As long as Dragonborn exist, Kobolds can't be a core race. We must remove Dragonborn.
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>>51864580
What's so bad about them?
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>>51864804
>Kender in AD&D
Idiot either tripped all the traps trying to inspect the "shiny" or lured some horrid monsters to the party that they have little hope of surviving

>Kender in 3-5e
Kender has thrown the plot off the rails because they decided to poach something from the important NPC/asked the wrong question at the wrong time and now the party are public enemies or thought to be outright criminals.

You aren't being a dick on PURPOSE; it's just that playing them properly means that the party is basically having to babysit you to keep you from getting them killed because you're acting like Abu in Aladdin.
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>>51865129
"Race" is a social construct in D&D. Literally. It's a catch-all for classifications, purebreds, and mongrels.
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>>51865114
Like most people with autism, I tend to value correlation between reality and fantasy.
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>>51865114

Also, I never said they were sterile nor assumed as much.
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>>51864804
The problem is that their behavior isn't funny and that it's clearly stated that they don't even realize they're doing anything wrong. So even when you're not actively endangering the party, you're still encouraged to be an annoying dickbag. It's a typical result of a writer thinking of a "funny" quirk without stopping even for a moment to consider how a character like that would work out in an actual game.

You end up either playing a regular Halfling, in which case why even have Kender at all, or you end up playing something that's completely obnoxious and disruptive because it's a one-joke race and the joke was never funny to begin with. It's "that guy playing Chaotic Neutral": The Race.
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>>51865141
Kender don't steal important or valuable things.
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>>51864804
>You're supposed to play as if you had childlike curiosity, mild kleptomania, and a case of chuunibyou.
Yeah that makes them pretty fucking awful already.

>If you endanger the party, steal important things, or upset your allies, you did it wrong.
Except that's absolutely not that what the text in the OP says, quite the opposite.
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>>51865114

Tohsaka Rin pleases Old Men for Money.
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>>51864580
Short races in general. Boring, unimaginative and stupid.
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>>51865134
I don't want Dragonporn, I don't want playable Kobolds. Yiff in hell motherfuckers.
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>>51865194
You don't need to steal something particularly important or expensive to piss off a key NPC.
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>>51865211
rood
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>>51865210
>any dwarves
>Boring, unimaginative and stupid.
>steampunk gnomes
>Boring, unimaginative and stupid
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>>51865233
That's a problem with the DM, then.
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>>51865246
Gnomes are pretty boring, Anon.
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>>51864580
Elves obvs.
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>>51865194
So you don't mind if I rob you, as long as I don't steal anything "important"?
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>>51865247

No, it's a problem with people not liking you stealing their stuff.
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>>51865246
Well, yes.
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>>51865246
Yes. Both races have been done to death, especially in their stereotypical portrayals. And no, putting Dwarves in the jungle or Halflings in the desert is not fixing the problem.

Shit, why am I in here? I hate fantasy games for this shit.
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>>51865246
>>>>steampunk
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>>51865246
>steampunk gnomes

Adding more boring, unimaginative and stupid to boring, unimaginative and stupid does not make it interesting, imaginative and clever.
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>>51865266
No they aren't, but they have the potential to be douchebags.

>>51865285
How far from the stereotypes can you stray at all before your dwarves are no longer dwarves at all?

>>51865292
Haters gonna hate.
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>>51865305
Then either gnomes or steampunk are actually interesting, imaginative and clever, because the end result is interesting, imaginative and clever.
>>
And I would also add Deliverance style halflings and Jew goblins to a list of cool small races.
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>>51865308
>How far from the stereotypes can you stray at all before your dwarves are no longer dwarves at all?
To the point where they become humans, which they always were in portrayal. This is why I never liked alternate races; people assume that by shrinking a human down you automatically have a new perspective on a world. You don't. You just have a human with a modifier.

Although I will say D&D isn't as bad as Sci-Fi is with this shit.
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>>51865324
Only time it was interesting was when they added /pol/ race mixing conspiracy into the mix.
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>>51865339
If you don't like the concept of fantasy races at all, then I'm not sure why you're taking part in this discussion in the first place.
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>>51865334
Jew goblins are the only good jews or goblins.
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>>51865366
Non-human races are a good concept. Making them just "short human", "pointy-eared human", "green human", or "human with animal ears" is uncreative garbage.
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>>51865400
okay, give "good" examples.
>>
I've read the main line Dragonlance books and I went to the Drachenfest LARP con twice with someone who played a Kender. I had tons of fun next to that character and I really enjoyed the books. Kenders can be cool and fun if you don't take yourselves too seriously. Anyone who paints them as cleptomanic chaotic stupid childish assholes or plays them as such is getting the whole concept WRONG.

However, there is a deep underlying problem with Kender. They were invented as a race for a character of the Dragonlance games/novels and most, if not all of the character traits overlap with racial traits. That makes it impossible to play a character that isn't just a variation of Tasslehoff Barefoot, and you're basically forced to do everything that he did because that's what any member of your race would do. It's like most aliens from Star Wars: Jabba is introduced and all Hutts are minor or major gangster bosses somehow. Oola shows up and all Twi'leks are either sexy, slaves, or sex slaves.
So in conclusion, Kenders are a terrible concept, but tons of fun can be had around them.
>>51864658
Never heared of those before, what are Spellscales like?
>>51864674
What is it with Anglos always confusing ei and ie? There is a difference, you know
>>51864804
This.
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>>51864755
Seconding this. It's disgusting how furries go on about this in exhausting, exhaustive detail. If anything is proof of autism, attraction to sergals must be it
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>>51865412
The Mi-Go
The Great Race of Yith
Necrons before they got over-explained
Eclipse Phases' Factors and Exhumans
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>>51865412
This is one thing the Ivalice setting is really good about. I'll admit that Viera are like humans with rabbit ears, but their sensitivity to nature makes them like old style elves.
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>>51865449
Oh my god, all of your examples are shit and unplayable (I don't know the last one but I get the idea).
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>>51865412
I'd name some, but so few playable because "abloo-bloo-bloo Dey not reel peepl, me no lyk. pls maek kitsooney. ;_;"
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>>51865210
Not that it applies to RPGs but I quite liked the way Warhammer Fantasy did Chaos Dwarves thematically, satanic Babylonians is an oddly natural fit for Dwarves.
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>>51865246
>Gimli: The Race
>Dr. Insano: The Race

Man; how groundbreaking
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>>51865470
Where did you study the art of projection?

>>51865474
I also like that
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>>51865607
Groundbreaking doesn't equal good. Tried and true doesn't equal shitty.
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>>51864778
>Implying illithyd tadpoles won't die of poisoning by eating whatever kenders have for brains during attempted cerebromorphosis.
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>>51865285
Bring me new and original concept for a race and I'll tell you where it has been done before you.
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any hombrew race that contains the phrase "embodies the balance between good and evil" in its description.
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>>51865779
Cave-dwelling lithe carnivores that are intelligent and sapient until their 30s, at which point they go through a metamorphosis that makes their brains go primal and they become ambush hunters for the remainder of their lives. This final form lacks self-awareness.
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>>51865721
I don't like parasitic mindflayers. I want them to be hyperevolved humans from the future.
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>>51865246
>Using steampunk gnomes
>Not illusion based magical garden gnomes that protect people from goblins and redcaps
I see you're a peasant, Anon.
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>>51865779
Sentient wooden paratroopers who live on a giant isle of flying pumice, bungee jump into villages which they fly over and loot them until the harness pulls them back onto the island, they carve new ones from wood as old ones are destroyed and bring them to life using magic powder made from fungi that only grow in a cave in their flying island.
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Half-goblin kenders, Millions of little thieving shits EVERYWHERE!
IN A WEEK!
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>>51865449
What changed besides the entourage?
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>>51865437
Furry here. Never heard of Sergals or seen people fangasm over them either.what is the deal with them and why are people hating on them? Genuine question.
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>>51865877
Orcs
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>>51865779
Good natured spider people that live in woods and caves and communicate trough a village-wide Webs that they tug on to deliver morse-like messages.
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>>51865951
How is that any different from any other beastmen race?
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>>51865820
Similar to this race from the Edge Chronicles:
>Termagant trog - Females of a race of humanoids dwelling underground. They are rather attractive to fourthlings when young. Trogs of both sexes dwell in paper houses, called trogcombs, clad in garments of a lighter paper. Males are largely unseen and small, thought by the females to be pathetic and sickly; females are looked after by their indulgent and protective mothers. A young trog may keep a pet during this time. When the female trogs reach a certain age, they drink blood drawn from the roots of the carnivorous tree known as the Bloodoak, which causes their strength and size to increase. In addition, the drinker's hair follicles cease to function and her desires become extremely violent, hence the name "termagant", meaning "a harsh-tempered or overbearing woman". If the Bloodoak does not have blood for the trog on the appointed day, she is considered an outcast by her race. This is what happened to Maugin.
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>>51865940
You're not even trying. The correct answer was warforged.
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>>51865846
Can't they be both?
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>>51865925
Mainly because they're furries. Secondly because they're a stereotypical militaristic warrior/hunter race and there's an everlasting war between light and darkness going on on their planet or something, I forgot.
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>>51865779
A race of androids that were awoken by a previous race nearing extinction on the off chance one of them will get curious, and find the remnants of said race in cryo sleep. These androids are neutral, and follow a rigid class system based of serial number.

Single digits denote workers, dubs denote soldiers, trips are leaders, and quad are the "chosen ones" to search and adventure.
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>>51866219
So basically Hierarchy?
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>>51866245
>Hierarchy
Er, what?
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>>51864985
>they've become a subrace of elves that have more Fey powers.

Specifically they're basically High Elves who has a once per rest Misty Step rather than a cantrip.
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Kobolds.
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>>51865925
They have prehensile clits and are "like, the best, omg"
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>>51864580
Dwarves.
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>>51866288
A race in KJU.
Except tehy're digitalized conscience copies of a now dead organic race.
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>>51866456
DELET THIS
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>>51864580
Tabaxi.
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>>51865779
Intelligent sea urchins with prehensile quills.
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>>51866643
Kinda like Mudpots in GRRM's Tuf Voyaging.
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>>51864580
Wraeththu
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>>51865779
Sapient giant cristals that imbue humanoids with magic powers to do their biding. Not mind control, but as soon as you go against their will the powers turn against yourself and you burst into flames.
Being a miner is a shit job in this world.
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>>51864580

Kitsune.
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>>51864580

Warforged.
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>>51867083

Warforged are good you fucking plebian
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>>51867021
>Rule 3: You will not post any of the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases, macro image replies, indecipherable text (example: "lol u tk him 2da bar|?"), anthropomorphic ("furry") or grotesque ("guro") images, post number GETs ("dubs"), or loli/shota pornography.

This isn't /b/ or even /pol/, his post violated rule 3, and it's perfectly appropriate to call him out on it. Telling me to leave has zero merit and is a laughable attempt at deflection. Now, returning to OP's topic...

>>51864580
Drow are generally pretty horribly written in D&D, and prime for That Guy. Kender at least are well-intentioned pranksters whom That Guys use as an excuse to be complete assholes and get away with it. Drow PCs, in my experience, fall into two camps. Either they completely embrace being evil dirtbags who can and will betray the party at a moment's notice, or they're dual-scimitar-wielding vigilantes who lament their horrible society but are horrible murderhobos anyway.
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>>51866793
Ew. Yeah, they've got Kender beat.
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>>51866917
Bam. And this Anon Nails it.

By far and large.
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>>51864580
OPs
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>>51867083
Full retard.
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>>51865779
Intelligent, winged snakes that speak in a mix of sssnake hisssesss and borderline offensive mexican accents who fly around the continent telling awful jokes solely because their society is utopian (not that you'll see it or be told anything else except that it's a ssslice of sssnake heaven) and they have nothing better to do with their lives.
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>>51864760
Is this the sequel to do you catan? Catan: Now a player race in 5e?
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>>51864580
Half-demon half-angel
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>>51865308
>How far from the stereotypes can you stray at all before your dwarves are no longer dwarves at all?
We answered this question with elves, and it's pretty goddamn far.
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>>51865247
>>51865194
Motherfucker, I don't want anyone stealing anything that I own, whether it's worth $0.01 or $1,000,000.00
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>>51867904
Oh?
Do tell.
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>>51867215
This. Drow are objectively the worst race.

Every Drow player I've ever had is either a broody edgelord or a Drizzt knockoff. It's the fucking worst.
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>>51867836
Half half orc half halfling
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>>51867531
Swiss in Germany.
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>>51865093
Wrong, its a race of worfs.
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>>51867083
That's probably the first time in my life that I've read that warforged are bad.
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>>51865194
Yeah, its not like there are canon examples of Kender stealing insanely powerful completely unique highly magical artifacts or anything.
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>>51867379
Nothing wrong with playing trickster spirits
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Dwarves.
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>>51864580
OPs
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>>51864580
Behold and Despair
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Kobolds
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>>51870475
Seconding this. Fuck kobolds.
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>>51865925
Imagine if Lucario from Pokemon became its own playable race. But they're all draw hyper realistically, act like gnolls, and the "face" of the race of is boobless warrior queen with a prehensile clit who eats babies while she has massive orgasms during battle and always looks like she's crying blood.
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>>51871212
Wow, that sounds really terrible.
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>>51867988
>not playing 80s Saturday Morning cartoon evil
>not playing an OCD reverse Paladin who cries over things making too much since and gets really mad when she sees random acts of kindness but can't do shit about it because the mission comes first
>not playing twitchy abuse victim who's so happy to be out on their own, but is terrified of physical interact and panics if they think they've upset the party lead
>not playing a conniving political type who's purposefully disrupting a rival nation's process by rallying the lower classes to shake up its caste system into a dangerous teeter-totter.

Sounds like you've just been around shit players.
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>>51864580
STORYTIME
>in college
>part of an unofficial D&D "club" because it's the easiest way to get new players
>this "so kawaii!" nu-female enters the group I'm in
>I can tell she's going to be trouble already
>turns out she's played before
>A LOT
>chooses to be a Kender to be contrarian since everyone picks humans or elves
>"Haha, you haven't heard of Kender? They're so unique and cute! You'll see, you just gotta experience it for yourself, I'll show you"
>Sessions starts off fair enough
>DM said there were some new players so he was going to take things slow
>He starts us off all meeting in the market district
>"That's a cute bird!" the Kender girl says, before grabbing the elf-sorcerer's familiar right off his shoulder
>elf player becomes visibly pissed off
>elf player kindly asks for his familiar back
>"Haha, you'll have to catch me!"
>Elf is now chasing around a Kender through the market district trying to get his familiar back
>DM wants to put an end to this
>"The guards notice a commotion going on and head over to you two"
>the guards reach them simply enough
>Kender player lets go of the bird, "OOOHHH, what are those for?" she says, grabbing the guards keys
>"CRIMINAL! APPREHEND HER!" and she's instantly grappled by what feels like level 8 guards (AKA, the hand of the DM)
>She literally says "I kick the guard in the genitals playfully"
>She initiates combat
>The guard grappling her maintains his grapple
>The other guard strikes the Kender with his halberd
>Not even 40 minutes into the game and she ended up getting beheaded by local guards and angrily shouting at all of us for not understanding her character, and left

Literally the ONLY time I've ever seen a player TRY to instigate so hard. Fuck Kenders.
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>>51870430
I thought those weren't allowed here as they are triple heresy.
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>>51864580
Goblins.
They are either tiny useless orcs, LOLSORANDUMB green gnomes, or fapbait ripped straight from CoC.

Just seeing one makes me blood boil and my hand quiver over the pommel of my sword.
The Lord help the player that decides to be one.
>>
>>51871410
>When a kender displays an uncommonly sensible attitude in a dangerous situation, it is probably because he realizes that death means never doing anything interesting again.
The MC4 entry should be required reading for would-be kender players.
>>
Gnolls.

I went into the gnoll thread and I hated every single idea I read there. Also it made me realise that /tg/ is full of clandestine furries who need to be cleansed.
>>
>>51871598
What a stupid goy, I mean human.
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>>51871410
good story, anon. I had a hearty chuckle
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>>51871677
>Brother Antioch, ready the Trebuchet.
>>
>>51871598
>my hand quiver over the pommel of my sword

I bet it does, if you know what I mean.

Also, the main thing goblins have going for them separate from orcs, as far as I can tell are stealth and their kinship with wolves.
>>
>>51867215
>Drow are generally pretty horribly written in D&D, and prime for That Guy. Kender at least are well-intentioned pranksters whom That Guys use as an excuse to be complete assholes and get away with it. Drow PCs, in my experience, fall into two camps. Either they completely embrace being evil dirtbags who can and will betray the party at a moment's notice, or they're dual-scimitar-wielding vigilantes who lament their horrible society but are horrible murderhobos anyway.

I defense of Drow, they were meant initially to be well-equipped humanoid antagonists, not a player race.
>>
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>literally the entire concept of the race is "steals shit"
>kender are as contemptuous of thieves as the next race

How the fuck does this make sense?
>>
>>51871863
I feel the Githyanki fulfill that role way better than Drow, especially with that little caveat of, "The Githyanki value their weapons above all, and will relentlessly hunt down those who happen upon them."
>>
>>51871984
Githyanki have two disadvantages here: they're extraplanar, and they're not evil versions of a normal player race. Drow equipment was also designed to break down in player possession when exposed to sunlight.
>>
>>51867904
I find that elves are a useful race and easy to recognize when altered because their long lives and consistent magic affinity always gives them a distinct role in settings humans don't fulfill. It's easy to play elves different features and make them recognizable.

You can replace dwarves with humans in most settings though. Their major recurring aspects aren't really alien, so when you get too far changing them it asks what the point is. For another long lived race, dwarves sure get little mileage out of it.
>>
>>51864580
Not the same game line, but Beasts from Chronicles of Darkness are worse than everything that has come before in that series.
>>
>>51865474
That is nea
>>
>>51871842
Goblins are much better than orcs, because there's so many different ways to play them. With orcs you pretty much always get "muh noble savage"
>>
>>51867531
Coatls.
>>
>>51870430
I don't think Chakats have ever been stated in a rpg. Contrary to Sergals, which is a bit strange since the two have very similar origins.

>>51871918
Easy
>kenders steals
adorable curiosity
>other race steals
disgusting lawbreaker

You will also note that they ignore law if it's unjust (apparently any tax is unjust to them) and yet aren't chaotic by default. Maybe because they're fine with other races being taxed instead of them.


>>51871764
He's not the original anon (that would be me) and I suspect every answer in the line is by someone different because of the writing styles.
/pol/ shitposting is reaching mlp levels, it's no surprise more and more anons are getting fed up with it.
>>
>>51871918
Originally, the intent was that Kender steal pointless things like empty spools of thread, or worn buttons, and would hence see people maliciously taking things of value as reprehensible.

Because the people writing the infamous character description were retarded, it morphs into them being hypocritical pieces of shit that need to be ritually exterminated
>>
>>51864580
Porcelain golems, wax golems, and don't forget glass golems.
>>
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>>51873222
I can't hear you over the sound of how plebeian you are.
>>
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>>51865400
>humans capable of playing anything with a fundamentally inhuman mindset

Hahahahahaha. Hahahaha.

Your efforts are futile.
>>
>>51871660
Protip: Gnoll threads are the new Sergal threads.
>>
>>51865246
That's pretty much dwarves for you.
>>
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Anyone remember that story about the Kender that "borrowed" a sustenance ring, forcing its used to beg for food in the underdark?

Afflicted kender are different from regular kender, though, I like to think that even WotC realized how much of a nuisance they were.

>>51872807
see pic.
>>
>>51872137
I've honestly gotten a lot of mileage out of just making three races: Brutemen, Highmen, and Stoutmen, with the subraces of each being Humans-Trolls-Orges, Elves-Drow-Hagfolk, and Halflings-Dwarves-Gnomes respectively.

To me, all the short races are the same humanoid with a slider on how hairy and work oriented they want to be.
>>
>>51864580
Literally anything from Golarion.
>>
>>51873643
But anon, it has the core races too.
>>
>>51865779
Lumberjack dwarves.
>>
>>51873676
That's wolverine from the X-men.
>inb4 this is a character, not a race
You're right, and it's a damn shame.

>>51873497
Must be the hyena pseudopenis. Sergal were also herm, if memory serves right.
why do furries like futa so much? I can understand the appeal of both fetishes, but I see no link between the two.

But yeah, /tg/ is full of closet furries; it's the monstergirl board with /d/, and there is only one step between mg and furry.
Sadly, it doesn't mean there are people willing to discuss the good furry rpgs. I just want some NATO cats fighting facist rabbits in a good sci-fi tactical rpg or some germanic boars slaying venetian foxes with an interesting magic system, yet we get autosaged everytime.
>>
>>51871335
The transfer from non-characterized dungeon crawling to story driven role playing made it to where people don't actually make interesting; they just pick a stereotype and make up a reason for why that makes their character "unique". Think about how many elf characters can be boiled down to "muh forest is in danger" or "I'm bored, let's adventure" or how all halflings are basically "Frodo with his confidence in Smaug's lair, but 24/7" and dwarves are basically "Gimli from the first two parts of LotR".

The real problem is that a lot of people just don't know how to write an interesting character.
>>
>>51873859
>Frodo with his confidence in Smaug's lair
[TRIGGERED]
>>
>>51873874
Sorry; all those hairy footed midgets look alike to me.
>>
>>51872869
I think there's a greentext of some dudes playing Dark Heresy that involved Chakats.
>>
>>51873619
Das racis
>>
>>51873676
Somebody made them in the "unusual dwarves" thread that we had a short while ago.
>>
>>51873718
>>51873718
I hear you; I remember a friend wanting to do essentially a MouseGuard game that was based on his grandparents' old property out in the country and how there was an abandoned cottage nearby was had became a cat colony.

He spun that into this into a the mice coming to a land where these horrid god-monsters forced vengeful worship upon the denizens of the forest around their strong hold and the mice trying to survive against things that seem capable of killing anything they wish.

Unfortunately, we never got to play it because our RP friends thought he was coming out as a furry by suggesting this.
>>
>>51864580
I was in a game that had firmly derailed and my barbarian who had been pickpocketed once too many times by the kender in and out of the party.

He had one remaining wish from a deck of many things we came across a while back, and the entire party was dead...

The rest of the party was expecting me to use it resurrect our priest or druid... I used it remove all kender from existence.
>>
>>51873718
>A whole race of swole, side-burn sporting, gelled hair having, claw slashing, auto-regening dwarves with a Newfoundland accent that refer to everyone outside their clan as "bub"

May I please steal this?
>>
>>51865779
Cuttlefinches. Swamp-dwelling psychic half-cuttlefish half-finch.
They walk about on stilts and wear tiki masks twice their size.
>>
>>51874177
But of course. Don't forget to make them steal redhaired girlfriends.
>>
>>51865779
All female cyclops dwarves.
>>
>>51865779
Martians, a la. "Stranger in a Strange Land"
>>
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>steal everything and lie all the time
>everybody loves and sympathises with them
Pick one, not both.
>>
>>51874268
Just change their background to have Manifest Destiny, Strong Christian Beliefs, and them wanting to stop race mixing and they'll be a supremely loved race around here.
>>
>>51864580
They sound like a sub-race of autistic halflings, what's even the appeal in that?
>>
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>>51865449
>>
>>51874374
>Strong Christian Beliefs
>DnD
>supremely loved
You never heard of Lorraine Williams, did you?
>>
>>51864580
Murrricans.
>>
>>51874492
He's making a joke about white Americans; specifically rednecks and white trash.
>>
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>>51871212
>>51871238
This is what they're talking about. Sergals are from a japanese comic, none of them have tits and the females have a prehensile tongue-like thing above the clitoris, it's not the clitoris itself, so a chick can grab your dick while pinning your wrists. The author is a girl, too.

The leader of the northern faction is pictured here, and it's based more on lovecraft+stalker+nausicaa than anything else
>>
>>51872606
Well, tolkein had them both as one race and then other people split the engineering, tunneling, small size and cowardly goblins while taking the cannibalism, aggression and tribal societies based on strength and gave them to the orcs.

Tolkein succeeded in making a threatening fantasy race by giving them many capabilities and traits. Because other people are hacks they make their monster footsoldiers threatening in only a single aspect.
>>
>>51875065
Doesn't excuse anything, though.
>>
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>>51875953
What's there to excuse when most of what was said was objectively false?

>But they're all draw hyper realistically,
That looks realistic to you?

>act like gnolls,
Where do they worship demons, cackle incessantly and mimic the voices of dead loved ones?

>and the "face" of the race of is boobless warrior queen
General of a race that doesn't have tits

>with a prehensile clit
False
>who eats babies
Never confirmed, possibly later on when she turns heel
>while she has massive orgasms during battle
false
>and always looks like she's crying blood.
A lot of characters have red markings around their eyes, anon.

Besides, her second appearance in-comic here she doesn't have the eye-streaks.
>>
>>51864580
>CTRL-F "pixie"
>0 matches

I am disappoint. I've seen more people play tolerable Kender than tolerable Pixies. It's a hard That Guy filter.
>>
Xhe does it for free.
>>
Fuck. Kobolds.

If you play a kobold, you're probably an insufferable faggot. Kobolds exist to die in droves to level 3 PCs and for absolutely nothing else.
>>
>>51866219
This race is a shit idea worker.
>>
>>51866219
This is basically the cultists/sowers from endless legend/space
>>
>>51873648
Exactly.
>>
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>>51871598
I've been thinking about goblins lately, specifically, pathfinder goblins and how they are depicted as crazy and just plain stupid, despite having no penalties to int or wis.

I was wondering if I could make a decent plotline out of them, by essentially just making them incredibly superstitious people, their various antics actually just elaborate "rituals" or tasks they perform for good luck or something.

The main idea was to have a pretty standard "goblins are attacking the city" plot to delve into various horrifying things in the goblins pasts that took them from regular savages, to raving lunatics. Most of what I got would focus on barghests and a goblin god, but viewed from a more lovecraftian angle, that made goblins swear off the very concept of the written word.
>>
>>51877123

I both played a kobold and won D&D.
>>
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>>51877123
>>
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>>51866643
Lorn-Flukes from the Failbetter Games universe.
>>
>>51877563
my goblins are short, but they're actually one of the nicer races to be around.
provided they meet their daily requirements of salt, which is particularly high for their species.
Failure can cause confusion, hallucinations, nervousness and irritability, as well as urinary incontinence and extreme swings in appetite.
So, legends of piss-stinking baby-eating violent teeth-critter gobbos are derived from extreme starvation cases fucking them up, much the same way rabies accounts for vampire legends.

Aside from an extreme taste for salty food, gobbos are generally good natured, extremely hospitable, slightly more superstitious than most folk, and diligent workers.
Those first three traits are often exploited by slavers, due to that last one. and since slavers aren't known for caring for the health of slaves, Salt rations can run low, which brings us back to the gibbering cannon fodder soldiers of evil armies.
>>
>>51876054
Look; try and defend your fap bait all you want. It's edgy yiff trash and belongs on /trash/.
>>
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>>51866793
Of course anything that started as the subject of erotic fiction before making the transition to rpgs is going to be hopelessly terrible.
>>
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>>51878444
I mean, that accounts for about half of mythical monsters.
After all, about half are creepy and half are sexual. And those aren't mutually exclusive; plenty are neither and plenty are both.
>>
>>51865846
The elder brain is the future evolution of life, the mindflayers are tools to aid in transfer of information from isolated flesh vessels to the elder brain network. After information has been transferred the flesh vessel is repurposed for information gathering.
>>
>>51865436
I've read Kendermore, they're all retarded. There's no way that society could function, especially with contact with any sane person.
>>
>>51865246
>gnomes and dwarves listed as if they were any different

Shaving your beard and smelling slightly less of forge smoke does not an entire separate race make.
>>
>>51864580
I still say it's what happens when you decide to design an entire people's culture around the douchebag archetypes of the Halfling player in early DnD gaming, which is pretty different from the source material for Halflings.
>>
>>51877563
LotR goblins > Warcraft goblins > Warhammer goblins > Greyhawk goblins > Pathfinder goblins.

I don't care if people call me a grognard, Tolkien got goblins right on the very first try.
>>
>>51864580
Dragonborn
>>
>>51865210
>>51865246
When will they learn.
>>
>>51875259
They were already subspecies of the same race in Tolkien's books, and they shared traits exactly like you described. Goblins lived underground, loved machines and hiding behind the backs of big monsters, while orcs were extremely warlike, squabbled for power and didn't mind drowning the enemy in corpses. Importantly, neither of them were actually savages.
>>
>>51864755
I can't hate them. they have these shark like nose.
>>
>>51880575
Yeah Tolkien goblins were cool. Especially the Moria ones. That's how I run all my goblins.
>>
>>51866882
>Sapient giant cristals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlqEvkhl0So&t=0s
>>
>>51873497
I wouldn't call them new, just more persistent
>>
>>51864775

/thread
>>
>>51880575
I'd switch Warcraft and Warhammer goblins, but, other than that, patrician taste.
>>
>>51878176
Furries are never capable of understanding how weird and disgusting their fap races are. In addition to Sergals, see Chakats.
>>
>>51865134
Well, now i'm slightly more tolerant of Dragonborn.

Anything to keep koboldfuckers out.
>>
>>51880771
Do remember that a chunk of their OC races are strictly for porn rather than any semblance of plot.
>>
>>51880808
I am aware. The twin issues arise when:

1. They don't consider the overtly magical realm race to be fetishistic in any way because of their warped thinking. This is the Sergalfag's problem, he thinks his fap race is normal.

2. They think fap races are completely normal and belong in every setting or in every conversation, with no tact or awareness that people outside of their enthusiast group don't want to hear about them.
>>
>>51877563
I think Pathfinder goblins get an undeserved amount of hate. A lot of the dislike for them I feel has to do with people who dislike other aspects of Pathfinder redirecting their hate towards the goblins.

I mean yeah, they're stupid and crazy, but they are goblins so what can you expect. In a lot of settings goblins are just uglies you strike down on your way to bigger threats, but there's a consistent culture with certain rules and logic involved with Golarion goblins. They hate dogs and horses who have a sensible history of running them down, they tend towards hateful gods because they fear divinity and it's more important to keep hateful gods appeased, they think writing will take words from their heads and put on paper which in ways is true and where it isn't the association makes sense.

When you get to shit like Warcraft, you start wondering why they're goblins at all. Golarion basically makes sense of the typical mob goblins.

I don't like Pathfinder or its setting but I take inspiration from their goblins for all my games. They make sense in their nonsense way.
>>
>>51880825
>When you get to shit like Warcraft, you start wondering why they're goblins at all.
Ironically, even Warcraft's goblins are more true to Tolkien's vision than Golarion shit.
>>
>>51880968
Tolkien's "goblins" are literally orcs and I don't think you actually know anything about any of the goblins involved here.
>>
>>51871212
Dear fucking god that is both relatable and horrible. Uh. Good job with the analogy. I am impressed and disgusted alike.
>>
>>51880992
>babby's first smug comment
It's commonly accepted that goblins are the subspecies of orcs who live underground.
>>
>>51881046
>Commonly accepted
They have a loose and inconsistent distinction that at most comes out to "Smaller ones are goblins." Most points towards this were introduced well after D&D carved out its own identity for the races.

And in any case, the Warcraft goblins hardly resemble any of their predecessors. They're industrious, mercantile, and charismatic. Golarion goblins are still a scavenging monster race that take aspects from folklore goblins, share a sort of organization and ingenuity as Tolkien goblins, and have a clear descent from DnD goblins.
>>
>>51880651
>>51875259
They were also all shorter than even humans until the invention of Uruk Hai, and were corrupted elves (in some drafts don't go all autistic on me). They were meant to be pathetic and pitiful creatures, weaker than all the natural races of the world, who only got by do to Sauron. Even the machinery and industry they had was because of Sauron, as such things were under his purview.
>>
>>51875259
Tolkien was never happy with his depiction of orcs. His belief was that no race or species can be innately evil, and that there thus must exist good orcs who despite the corruption of Morgoth and Sauron were not willing agents of evil. He regretted that he did not show any glimpses of this in the books and made everyone think of them as simply absolute monsters.
>>
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>LESBIAN LIARS, THE RACE
>>
Man, you race purists are fuckin weirdos.
>>
>>51881412
It truly was a masterstroke of retard for ME3 to have them hiding prothean artefacts from everyone else, and then putting them in one of the largest attractions in their home planet.
>>
>>51865194
>implying the little shits care about the feelings of whoever they steal from

Why can't you just admit they're an entire race of autistic toddlers who deserve a mass spanking? What happened to good, honest Halflings?
>>
>>51881356
Maybe there was some good among the orcs.

They were simply too afraid to show it.
>>
>>51871643
'To die would be an awfully big adventure' - Peter Pan

Come to think of it, Peter Pan as a Kender is an interesting perspective on the character.
>>
>>51865779
Mountain Elves.

The have a trace of dwarven blood which gives them very powerful muscles and a wide frame. The live on mountains and have vertical cities that pretty much require their instinctive climbing skills to live in.
>>
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>>51871719
Aye.
>>
>>51864775
What is a Chakat?
>>
Vetala.
They're shit mechanically (absurdly so), in lore (irrelevant as FUCK), they are also just literal blood junkies.
>>
>>51865436
Spellscales are foppish, oh so pretty dragonblooded people.

Races of the Dragon was not a good book.
>>
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>>51874232
>>
>>51864580
Humans.
>>
>>51864580
Thri-kreen
>>
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>>51881848
Anon, how can humans with any sort of nuance be worse that Kender, when Kender are literally a single one of the worst traits humanity has, writ large and with none of what makes individual humans at the very least tolerable?

Oh, right, you still believe that there are "good" lifeforms. Yet, somehow you consider yourself "jaded" and "cynical" - or maybe you think you're "realistic" in your moral outrage at your own kind.

But it doesn't work like that. Any other species, placed in Man's position, would have done the same. "Live" spelled backwards is "eviL." Did you think that was a coincidence?

They'd do it for the same reasons your kind do - they are living, and mortal, and they must consume and destroy to survive, and they must consume and destroy even more to survive in any sort of comfort. All life must feed upon itself and upon the world on which it lives to continue existing. Each generation inherits the experiences of the last as written legend rather then lived-through truth. The generation after them inherits it as written myth. So it always is with the Living, so it shall be until the last of them perish.

The crime is Life. The sentence is Death.
>>
>>51864580
The French.
>>
>>51873718
>NATO cats fighting facist rabbits in a good sci-fi tactical rpg
Have you ever read Cat Shit One?
>>
>>51881494
To be fair, the Protheans were so shrouded in myth that only an ubernerd like Liara would be able to recognise signs of their culture. Doesn't help that the Asari leadership have millenniums of disinformation on their side.
>>
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>>51882034
>>51881494
>>51881412
You know we used to keep your kind as livestock in my cycle? Cuz we totally did. Why was Javik so based
>>
>>51880582
>Thalmor scum detected
>>
>>51881494
Everything about ME3 was terrible and retarded, the only thing that was fun or interesting was DLC
>>
>>51881714
An entire race of furry Mary Sues.
>>
>>51881127
Warcraft goblins are essentially Tolkien goblins (originally subterranean, lazy and reliant on machinery, love explosives, hide behind monstrous brutes) mixed with HP goblins (neutral, obsessed with money). They also have more than a dash of caricature America. Makes for much more multi-faceted goblins than in most media.
>>
>>51881753
>oh so pretty
They look like poo-in-loo in the illustrations though.
>>
>>51881558
>>51881356
Read The Last Ringbearer. Fuck the haters. The book is good.
>>
>>51882269
It was like a stupidity olympics, with the Rannoch, Cerberus and Asari arcs all competing for the gold, but getting blown out by the Crucible.
>>
>>51882687
>Starbrat off fucking nowhere!

Holy fuck, what was Bioware thinking?
>>
>>51882745
>bioware
>thinking
>>
>>51864580
Gully dwarves are worse.

>Hobo, autistic, retard dwarves.
>>
>>51882811
>Hobo, autistic, retard
I think it's an accurate representation of the people who play dwarves.
>>
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Tolkien based Hobbits on idealised rural Englishmen.

But what if someone based Halflings on the rural Englishmen the way they actually are?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uTALssbCsA

That would be pretty cool.
>>
I've never seen anyone play a kender is a way that wasn't annoying.
Dragonlance as a whole is terrible. The only good thing to come out of it is Lord Soth, and that's only due to his connection with Ravenloft.
>>
>>51883012
From my experience as a midlander, then you get warhammer dwarfs.
>>
>>51864580
Dragonborn. What a fucking gimmick race
>>
>>51864580
triggered, lel
>>
>>51864580
As an aside from these generally insufferably races *cough cough* Gully dwarves *cough cough*

Do you select races based on how you're theming your character, or do you pick races based on stat bonuses?
>>
>>51883031
>midlander
The Midlands is a meme. It can mean anything from the Costwolds to the Black Country.
>>
>>51883171
>do you pick races based on stat bonuses?
Even when you do it, it's not a good idea to tell that to anyone.
>>
>>51865449
Why not Elder Things you fucking downie.

>>51865462
You can definitely play exhumans in Eclipse Phase.
>>
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>>51865090
>child race
>child race orgies

Please end your own life as soon as possible.
>>
>>51883245
The existence of the midlands is purely there to trigger southerners and northerners when they get in dick waving Contests.
>>
>>51883245
AFAIK Tolkien was explicitly thinking of the Cotswolds when he created the shire. He was traumatised as a kid watching the growth of industrial estates in Worcestershire.
>>
>>51883488
>He was traumatised as a kid watching the growth of industrial estates in Worcestershire.
How the fuck does that traumatise somebody?
>>
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>>51881968
Yes. I enjoyed it.
If you're curious, I was talking about Albedo and Ironclaw, respectively. Both are very decent rpgs, and the first one is an excellent comic if you like hard sci-fi.
http://stevegallacci.com/archive/edf/2016/05/03

>>51883415
Dude, they are as child-looking as dwarfs (imagine a kid looking like Fatty Bolger), and don't reproduce by mytosis.
Imagine, though, you leave a kender alone in a cell, a a week later you have 64 of them on your arms. The horror.
>>
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>>51865017
Dread Pirate Roberts pls go
>>
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>>51865139
Maybe the fact that it's a race that WILL purely annoy other players and the DM. They have no sense of social boundaries so molestation and autism is inevitable. Any race that excuses stealing with 'Oh, the race doesn't have a concept of stealing', is just baiting loot-hungry murderhobo players who will steal anything that isn't nailed down regardless of how morally questionable or risky it is.
>>
>>51865449
>The Mi-Go

Literally had less exposure and explanation than most fodder monsters from DnD. And that was the fucking point - mystery.

>The Great Race of Yith

Shitty mary sues, invertebrate edition.

>Necrons before they got over-explained

Beep, boop, imma Terminator, imma gonna kill all hooomans.

>Eclipse Phases' Factors and Exhumans
'
No idea about those.
>>
>>51865779
Sapient ectoplasmic reincarnations of breakfast foods
>>
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>>51883770
>>
>>51882382
No, it is in fact terribad. That the author is both a fedora tipper and a Russian massively asshurt by the fact that those damn Anglo-Saxons dared to beat the Motherland in the Cold War would be only half a problem. The real problem that he's just a retard who cannot keep his own plot straight and avoid obvious idiocies, like undead suiciding by swallowing poison.
>>
>>51865194
An item doesn't have to be impartially important or expensive to piss someone off by taking it, stealing the alderman's tobacco and pipe or religious iconography would probably do it.
>>
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>>51883770
>>
>>51883805
Nice strawmanning skills, but I see where your butthurt truly lies.
>fedora tipper
>>
>>51883488
What a fucking pussy
>>
>>51883756
Mi-Go are literally Mind Flayers with wings.
>>
>>51883549
Factories are ugly and smelly, they replace beautiful green fields and are staffed with thuggish men who came from far away.
>>
>>51880824
If we ban all races some people find attractive there won't be many races left to play at all
>>
>>51864580
I enjoyed he Bitterkinder (Vampire Kender) that live in Ravenloft.
>>
>>51884044
Facts are not strawmanning, anon. Stop projecting.
>>
>>51883549

I see you've never lived in a heavily industrialized area. Google something about present-day Chinese ecological problems to get an idea what the cost of being a workshop of the world (when regulations are nonexistent or ineffective) actually is.
>>
>>51871918
Kender don't "mean" to steal - they're supposed to be insatiably curious but well-meaning, so when they "pick something up", they do mean to put it back, but the original owner has usually moved on by the time the kender is done looking at it. Taking shit just so that a person won't have it anymore is seen as rude.

Like.... imagine three kids and a handful of trading cards. The kender is the one who picks up a card or two at random, then puts it back, and often shows off some cards he picked up elsewhere. The thief is the one who grabs all of the cards and runs away with them.

At least, that was the creator's *intent*, as a way of explaining why halfings are Always Thieves and yet still Goodly Races. Of course, Weiss & Hickmann are hacks who couldn't write decent examples of Goodly behavior if their life depended on it so, y'know, we got kender.
>>
>>51885972

Even the original "intent" is obnoxious. The fact remains even at their most sympathetic, kender lack any kind of respect for personal boundaries. It doesn't matter what you take, why you take it, or what your intentions are once you have it, you don't stick your hands in someone else's pocket.

I have no problem with characters who are petty thieves. It's an ancient character trait. But ideally the thief should know he's screwing someone and not try pretending he's adorable for it.
>>
>>51885187
If we ban all races that exist only for someone's fetish then we'll be fine.
>>
>>51886634
we should only be allowed to play moe blobs
>>
>>51886684
I don't even know where in your cobwebbed brain this made sense.
>>
>>51886037
If you ask for it back, you'll get it back
>>
>>51886634
So everything but humans
>>
>>51886634
you're retarded
>>
File: calm down princess.png (119KB, 392x366px) Image search: [Google]
calm down princess.png
119KB, 392x366px
>>51881472
>>
>>51886727
Except that's not true, they "forgot" they took it most of the time so you get stupid excuses like "Hey mine looks just like yours" or "I found this one so it's mine"
>>
If it looks like it will cause trouble, don't play it.
>>51883611
Haha! I am the dread pirate Tuco, prepare to die!
>>
>>51884062
You don't understand how incredibly bad pollution got at the time of Tolkien's childhood

In London they regularly got something called "pea soup fog" which could LITERALLY kill people if inhaled. That didn't stop until the 50s
>>
>>51879731
>gnomes taller than six inches
Ooh, you mean Not gnomes?
>>
File: mustachethumbsup.gif (1MB, 400x325px) Image search: [Google]
mustachethumbsup.gif
1MB, 400x325px
>>51873718
Cool. I will graciously accept your defeat over a glass of scotch and a cigar.

>tfw you played a Lumberjack Dwarf Mage in 13th Age
>>
>>51874193
That's amazing. I need somebody to draw this.
>>
>>51886780
>Not banning humans
>the most common fetish
Ban ALL races.
>>
>>51885690
What facts, surely you're not talking about your own post? Your /pol/ bullshit has no basis in the book, like Tolkien's works, it's apolitical and describes the conflict between progress and conservatism, only this time, the perspective is different. Your complaints about plot holes are made irrelevant by the fact that Tolkien's original was also not the best book in terms of plotting. We're left with anti-religious sentiment, which is apparently what makes you so angry. Don't be ashamed of your close-mindedness, it's okay, we get people like you all the time.
>>
>>51888075
>/pol/ bullshit
What out of anything he said is /pol/?
>>
>>51882382
>Mordor dindu nuffin: the book
>>
>>51866456
I'd have to agree due to the fact that no one plays or enjoys Kender so they don't have a chance to be annoying. Meanwhile we have a thread here once a week of scalies wanking over their sexualized liggers.
>>
>>51888129
>Russian massively asshurt by the fact that those damn Anglo-Saxons dared to beat the Motherland in the Cold War
This is so profoundly stupid that it could only originate in /pol/.
>>
>>51888387
You're profoundly stupid.
>>
>>51888532
Nice comeback, retard.
>>
>>51888666
Don't resort to name-calling, Satan! Surely you're better than that?
>>
>>51871598
I feel that way about Kobolds fanboys, specially the trash that is cutebolds or people playing their kobolds as a variation of Drizzt.
>>
>>51872606
Orcs can also be played differently, it's just that everyone is stuck with a conan-esque depiction of orcs to come up with something different. Orcs that discovered the secret of steel-forging with a german-empire like culture for example. Or hell, just by making then based off the nords would already give them more character compared to today's noble savage orcs.
>>
>>51888361

This. Kender are flawed in their design, but the people who would enjoy that kind of character will play it regardless of race.

But Kobolds have this bizarre and frankly disgusting following.
>>
>>51881753
>Spellscales are foppish, oh so pretty dragonblooded people.
I don't know, I think that's actually salvageable if you make them a bunch of pretentious dicks with self importance...but treat them as a whole race of deluded weirdoes.
>>
>>51865093
Nah, dragon-samurai-klingons are pretty fucking cool.
>>
>>51864658
>eight variations of Nicholas Cage with a wig and blue face paint.

I'd play it.
>>
>>51864580
Drow.
>>
>>51874375

Dragonlance, for all that I love it, was basically the "its totally not Tolkien guise" setting. It was for people who thought Lord of the Rings was too derivative.
>>
>>51864580

Had a gnome tinkerer that suffered a head trauma from an explosion from one of his devices which caused a split personality disorder where he would suddenly become a kender at random times of the week. My own friends ended up killing him. Most fun character I ever played.
>>
>>51864580
Its like you don't want to be culturally enriched.
>>
>>51894184

Except for the elves, who are literally the exact fucking same as Tolkein's, with the exception of the Kagonesti.
>>
>>51878749
You can make them sexual, but they weren't made from porn. Don't think that the ancient Greeks made harpies to jerk off on them.
>>
>>51883415
Are you one of those people who think midgets shouldn't be allowed to have sex because you think they look like children ONLY because of their height?
>>
>>51886796
There's a difference between elves having uncommon beauty and an all female race with hooves that lactate and will do anything for the person who penetrates them first thing in the morning.

A HUGE difference.
>>
>>51895079
not if you're judging by the standard of if they are a fetish or not.
>>
>>51895347
People have fetishes for feet, but feet aren't a fetish object. If you can wrap your head around that, you can wrap your head around those differences.
>>
>>51895680
see, feet are totally a fetish object.
>>
>>51895688
You can't be a part of this conversation anymore.
>>
>>51865997
That's what I was thinking too. The Edge Chronicles could make a pretty awesome campaign setting, actually.
>>
>>51895814
Yeah there used to be threads around to make it into a game, but it was a clusterfuck of complicated rules, a few dozen character classes, and they attempted to make every sentient being from the setting into a playable race.
Thread posts: 322
Thread images: 42


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