Mages Guild: Too Many Departments Edition

Uhh... Are we?

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Don't you think about it, gramps

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>>51857273
Uh, excuse me, you are /not/ gonna remove the SuperPyromancy Department, we totes cannot be with those other hotheads.

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>>51857361
...Have you MET the woman in charge of the pyromancy department? If she isn't the living embodiment of super-pyromancy then I don't know what is.

And I'd know because I had to apprentice under her for a year!

>>51857406
Excuse me? That basic bitch wouldn't know SuperPyromancy if she fell into a volcano?

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>>51857343
Ectomancy deals with the Spirit while Necromancy deals with the Body. its fairly obvious.

>>51857350
...Didn't the Archwizard murder you all? Seriously, how do you guys keep coming back?

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>>51857273
>but if we could finally get an answer to the infamous "is Ectomancy a subset of Necromancy" debate that would be fantastic.

It is pretty obvious to me that ectomancy is simply a department within the necromancy arcane school. A sub-school, if you will. Its craft is too limited to be classified as a single unified discipline. Thank you for bringing the debate to our attention one more. Maybe we can *finally* get to an agreement if the spiritualists would stop their non-sense.

>>51857361
Why'd you have to do that?
>>51857426
See this guy knows whats up.
>>51857435
Aight, see here's the thing.
We don't use bodies.
Our minions are spirits, Necromancy minions lack them entirely.

>>51857426
Necromancy deals with both domains. Dont kid yourself. Both disciplines dable with the lower planes and the beyond, at the basic.

Necromancy rules the domain of death, to which the spirits of the dead are bound.

>>51857449
What are you talking about Jones? You're not even an ectomancer, it's just necromancer, are you just retarded or something?

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>>51857273

Where would we even merge?

>>51857273
Here is the coffee and pastries for the meeting

>>51857470
I disagree.
Honestly I believe the shocking level of debate on this topic arises from the fact that while the afterlife is wholly mapped out, We still disagree on what the maps tell us.
In short, We disagree on the afterlife even if we understand it.

>>51857424
...I do hope she doesn't hear you say that. She's got, ah...a bit of a hair temper trigger.

Just sayin'.

>>51857432
I wish I knew.

>>51857484
Thank you Mort. I expect a long day. And night.

>>51857475
>Summons a spooky ghost.
I don't even see the resemblence.
One requires bodies to work with in advance, We require spirits.
>>51857494
...Which afterlife are we talking about?
Those maps are illegible man.

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Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>51857432
I won't rest until you and your zombie freaks are dead!
>mauls a skeleton

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>Pokes his head in
I want to say my department is unique and has a healthy amount of students.
Plus I repay all taxes and debts for the department in a timely manner.

>>51857483
Like, oh my god, your department needs to stay!
>>51857517
Pictures or it didn't happen!
>>51857504
Basic. Bi-otch

>>51857512
Oh come on, why'd you have to go and do that!?

Poor Jeeves...

>>51857504
>Sighs

>>51857483
How does your department even exist? For real?

>>51857534
>Pulls out tax return documents and the like
I keep copies on my person at all times just for this purpose!
So ha!

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wizzard's are gay fags who suck cock's
t. knoewledge possessor

>>51857273
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CLASSIFYING GOLEM CRAFTING AS NECROMANCY!
Necromancy is a TRUE art! Golem crafting is arts and crafts!

Ectomancy being reclassified as SUMMONING MAGIC!
I WILL CLAIM YOUR BEARD OLD MAN!
ONCE I REMOVE IT FROM YOUR HEAD!

I, for one, wholeheartedly support this action!

but only if you tell the tinmancers and leadmancers to say sorry

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>51857556
>chainsaws the docs

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>>51857556
82-B Was supposed to be filled out in triplicate, Other than that most of this is accurate. For those of you that are allergic to paperwork I figured I would vocalize this.

Archivists aren't even a department so I don't have much to add to this discussion, Besides mentioning that we could always create a new sorting system instead.

>>51857556
Oh my god, this is so fucking boring. Your department should be black flamed for being so bored!
>>51857597
Excuuuuuuuse me.

>>51857534
Your funeral.

...Well, cremation most likely.

>>51857544
Yep.

>>51857594
...And how in the nine hells did YOU get out of your cage? Back, back!

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>>51857273
This is an outrage, we've made tremendous strides in vegetative studies!

>>51857615
Don't start none, ain't gonna be none, so you can tell your hot headed pimp that!

>>51857579
That had better be some good knowledge your smoking.
>>51857584
See, the guy has a point!
We should be a different department because our methods are DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT from the ground up!

>>51857601
Yeah, now it is. These are my documents from the last season I needed to pay.

>>51857607
Hey!
It is infinitely fun!
>Makes an ooze trampoline that doesn't stick to clothes or people

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>>51857607
You got somethin' to say, toots? Better make it fast, I'm not going to stand idle while these injustices run afoot.
Nice rack, though

>>51857544
I could ask you the same question! What was your last meaningful contribution that improved life quality, and didn't invite violence upon the guild! Hmph!

>>51857639
Like, someone can snot and do that, EWWW
>>51857648
Nice bi's you grow those in the Fleshwarpers Square?

>>51857664
>Snaps fingers
>Suddenly, skeleton butlers!
You were saying?

>>51857615
You seek to contain me in a cage of lesser metals?! The mighty bismuth trumps all!

actually you forgot to lock it this time

>>51857639
Last season? Then you're missing 74-S which was replaced by said filling out of 82-B in Triplicate.

>>51857695
and I forgot what kind of wizard I was

I shall be joining you for the uhh... what's the time in your realms?

>>51857697
God, that was so boring that I am literally dying. This is why you were dumped.

>>51857711
Half past seven

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>51857635
Just don't say I didn't warn you when she burns your clothes off.

>>51857695
You give the department a bad name, we've been OVER this!

And besides, I'm not keeping you in a cage, I'm keeping you...er, pure and un-alloyed!

>rolling bluff

>>51857711
8, Ish.
Far to far away from the spooking hour.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>51857731
Not after I burn your clothes off!
>fry

>>51857729
AM or PM foul metal-user?

>>51857681
>Snaps clawed phalanges
>Suddenly Brundlepenis
YOU were saying!

>>51857753
Alloyed metal or pure metal? PM of course!

>>51857731
It's those alloymancers that are giving us a bad name! It's not my fault their metal is too soft to be used on its own!

>>51857763
... that's gross.

>>51857697
https://vimeo.com/69828947
>>51857722
I can literally remove your department from the budget with three forms that nobody but me will read.
>>51857753
7:32:45 PM

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Hum, sorry, if I may add, we low level students are being bombarded with exams from so many departments all claiming to be "essential disciplines for the aspiring mage" that we keep having to ask the department of Retro-Chronomancy to send us back in time so we can attend both exams. And you all know how... unreliable the Retro-Chronomancers can be, no offense to the honored magi.

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I just wanted to make the Archwizard aware that according to documents signed by the predecessor of his predecessor when the Legalmancy Department was founded, it was granted a reprieve from any and all restructuring, downsizing, reorganizing or any other alterations or changes the Guild may or may not go through.

Failure to follow these agreements will result in a stiff fine and all rights, possessions, employees, thoughts and demiplanes to be turned over and immediately become property of the Legalmancy Department.

>>51857273
I thought I already settled that matter when I showed that I'm capable of doing the things the "Ectomancers" are doing.
>>51857637
Some of your methods might be different, but those methods were still invented by Necromancers. It's a form of Necromancy.

>>51857775
Were we not summoning socially irresponsible horrors?
>He says plainly

>>51857773
Sorry, MATE.
It's 11:30 'ere.

>>51857773
I'm getting forgetful...

>>51857798
Alloyed metal or pure metal?

>>51857752
Fireproofed cloak.
>Which Samantha wraps around herself, even if the rest of her outfit is torched.

...Excuse me.

>>51857794
I was summoning things that were useful.

>>51857778
Then I'll sue you, duh.
>>51857805
Nice cloak, but I think you're a bit drafty now!

Take this garbage back to >>>/qst/ .

>>51857804
Pure.

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>>51857675
I went to the fleshwarping department once. Got more than just biceps, if you know what I mean

>>51857789
Ah, but thats just the thing oh esteemed head and potenitally my boss if this meeting goes in the direction it's looking.
The methods you refer to were invented by mystics! Long long ago before Necromancy even existed, many age old tribal societies have communicated with spirits for centuries!

>>51857788
Yes, But if you'll notice the Charter that your head signed Here, here, And Here, Combined with Form 63-D and Form 23-F and this form that was signed by his father, Entitles us to make changes to the contract at any time provided a relative of his signs this form, Which as you can see, His thrice removed twice estranged half-brother on his Mothers side has signed for the tidy sum of 50 GP and one KoboldBurger™ Brand Burger.
Therefore enabling us to alter the deal. Pray we do not alter it further.
>>51857818
I rather think that would be a bad idea. You don't seem like the lawyer type.

>>51857843
Wow, then they'd be quadceps, are you all brains!
>>51857850
I'll have you know, I know 50,000 lawyers.

>>51857843
>Chainsawmancer
Ya call that a tool mate?

>>51857806
Okay, then HAVE AT THEE
>Summons the prostickler 9'000, the leading device in holistic massage therapy

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>>51857865
You're a dense one
>>51857870
>anonymous

>>51857846
And for centuries upon centuries such methods have been practised by us Necromancers. Or at least those of us who sees more in Necromancy than an endless hoard of skeletal minions. I've had a talk with the head of your sub-department, and I agree that our departments are better off having the Ectomancy sub-department for administrative reasons, but not because Ectomancy is it's own separate School of Magic. It's a sub-school, no more.

>>51857899
But not dense with this.
>jumps up and down

>>51857273
Can I make sentient penises?

So, my department isn't getting taken down, is it?
If so I call bullshit.

>>51857899
Sup Doss.

>>51857903
>RABBLERABBLERABBLE
>now look what you've done.

>>51857889
...That does not look safe for children.

>>51857911
>Lurco gives a thumbs up off in the distance

>>51857850
According to Contract Form 37-B however, such changes can only be made when the light of the moon reflects off the third planet in such a way that makes liminal aether visible to the naked eye.
As well, according to Form 28-E, 19-A, and 65-G signed by the Headmaster, the heads of the core guild departments and the janitor scruffy, all rights to changing the core agreement were waived in exchange for Legalmancy's assistance in sweeping certain incidents under the rug before they came back to bite the guild on the ass.

As well it was agreed that any attempts to alter the deal from the guild would strick the offending party from all known timeways.

>>51857534
>Keif scratches his chin
Mmhmm.. Interesting.
>>51857912
We tried that!
>Points and Brundlepenis
well, we aren't sure it's sentient
>>51857928
Of course not! This one is
>Poofs a much tinnier one in claw.

>>51857916
>Lazarus spots a rabble of Ectomancers
>Lazarus tosses personally written book on Ectomancy
Take this! And educate yourselves on what a Necromancer can do with "Ectomancy"!

>>51857947
...Please keep that away from any and all children.

>>51857947
I'm going to need to do some personal studies with you later....
>>51857930
>jumps some more

>>51857903
If you seek to degrade us then you have done so!
Also trying to end the argument by saying you spoke to the head, man that's cheeky
A Sub-School? You make us sound inferior. Despite the fact that our two key methods are drastically different.
Summoning and Raising are completely seperate.
>>51857957
Violence won't make you right!

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>>51857911
Nice.

How would one create a department?

>>51857959
Pffffft, as if children had money for this thing
>It vibrates in place loudly at its mention
>He then clutches and it poofs away
>>51857971
>He checks his watch that he now has somehow
I'll schedule you in.

>>51857914
Honestly the mere act of quantifying you into any of the other departments would be more effort than its worth. Just don't push your luck.
>>51857931
Ah, but you forget Form 1, Signed by all mages, Which entitles The Guild to null forms signed by the Headmaster Bi-monthly provided they can prove that he was under the influence of mind-altering drugs at the time of his signature. And, as we all know, He is always under the influence of mind-altering drugs.
Form 28-E was nulled last month, 19-A the month before that and 65-G thirteen hours ago. With Form 1-C negating the requirement of informing Legalmancy department of these changes, you may find yourself at somewhat of a disadvantage now.
As for Contract 37-B, As we all know such an event occurred last night. Shortly after the Anullment of 65-G

>>51857999
...
>Cringes

>>51857957
>Rabbling intensifies!
This is Archaic!
Outdated!
Unusable!
Pointless!
Wrong!
Faulty!
>They don't shut up

>>51857999
>squeezes
>>51857986
>She flashes him, do to the nature of SuperPyromancy, it's pure light

>>51857992
Well, you need a bunch of dosh to help kick it off, or just rent a room.
And you also need to have more than two hundred spells already developed.

>>51857980
I never said the head agreed with me. And that guy is classy so I felt like including him.
I'll give you that, Summoning and Raising is different, but back in my days both Summoning Spirits and Raising Corpses were considered prime examples of Necromancy.

And I don't intend to solve this with violence. But I intend to use all the tools I have, including my recent work on your variant of Necromancy. And I hope variant sounds more to your liking than sub-school, because it's the best I got to offer.
>>51858027
Outdated!? I wrote that less than half a year ago!

>>51858004
You forget that Form 1 was written and developed by Legalmancy, and according to the bylaws and fine print of Form 1, Legalmancy is allowed to veto form nullification and well as necessitating that all forms go through Legalmancy for approval to keep certain quirks of the guild and it's departments out of the public eye.

This is also taking into account that any attempts to interfere with legalmancy will result in the associated department's funding being cut and certain late night activities of a number of Archivists being released to the public.

>>51858034
>>51858008
>>51858008
>Nods contemplatively

>>51858027
Cmon guys make us look bad, I'm trying to debate here.
>>51858057
...Thats equally degrading.
I find it odd that you seek to umbrella us under you when we have nothing to do with eachother.
If it were common for Necromancers to take Modules in Ectomancy and vice versa we wouldn't be having this debate.
But it doesn't happen, we're like oil and water.

>>51858082
You realize you just implied archivists have any activities of any note, Or a social life/night life to speak of? You've clearly lost this argument.
Or as they say, the Sink the ship to kill the captain gambit has just been used. Dare you make a followup move?

>>51858053
Great!

>Five minutes later.
>Contacts millions telepathically.

>10 minutes later.
How's this?
>Drops a bag filled with 10'000 pure gold coins.
I uh... heard they were cursed or something.

>>51858139
Well, you don't bribe me.
You bribe the Archwizard.

>>51858139
What's your opinion on pure metals and alloys, friend?

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>>51858034
>the sunglasses absorb the light
Niceeee

>>51858167
What are you looking at?

>>51858126
Perhaps you should spend less time with your nose in a book and more time watching your own department instead of attempting to outwit ours, if you're so blind to the goings on.

By the way, the fine for attempting Legalmancy without a licence will be deducted from the Archivist budget for next quarter.

>>51858122
We didn't use to be oil and water, we used to be one unified school of magic involving all things dead and undead. Why separate when we can pool our resources and mastery of death towards common goals?

The department includes all kinds of variations on Necromancy, it's why the department is so huge in the first place. Do you have any idea what would happen if I let you go without a fight? I would set a president for splitting the entire necromancy department into all kinds of minor variations. Next you know raising skeletons and raising zombies will be considered two different schools of magic, it will be chaos!

>>51858167
>>51858176
Yes, what are you loo-

Oh.

Ow.

>>51858162
Disdain.
Tin tends to restrain my abilities from their full power.

>>51858161
Oh...

>>51857273
Grandmaster, how about this bag of gold to pay for my new department.

>>51858180
I've already deducted several fines from your account, Which should just about cover it regardless.
>Shrug
You'll be sorely disappointment if you try to blackmail archivists. Were like platypodes .We don't do much. And we know as much or usually more about the law than you. Were the Wizards to your Sorcerors.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>51858167
>her breasts are a sight to behold
>so marvelous that they set you on fire

>>51857273
Sorry, I was thinking about someone else, mind games and all that.

>>51858204
>in a mage costume
>takes the money
Yes yes, quite acceptable, please fill out this paperwork to make it offical
>hands you the nutruitional information for a box of Wizard-o's

>>51858223
Put your shirt back on.

>>51858236
Get back here! I command it! No-one plays mind games but me!

>>51858185
>He shrugs
Ok you've got me there, if the wraith and vengeful spirit guys split off we'd be in trouble.
Not gonna lie though, we're both two different breeds of edgy brooding, so it would be strange and possibly dangerous having the two sets of students interact.
That isn't even taking into account the view of Ectomancy taken by your department and the bullying that will follow.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>51858223
>I CAN FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME, IT IS A GOOD PAIN!
>refuses to avert his gaze

I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS!
I am exactly no closer to solving the riddle of my transformation than i was a month ago!
nothing works!
Despite this, my studies have yielded information!
Did you know that the first gender bending spell was cast 2000 years ago when a wealthy sultan in a far off land angered a wizard? fascinating stuff!
THAT IS ALL.

>>51858252
D-don't tell me of that place.

>>51858204
Aha! I too hate tin! You're gonna fit in here just fine, Telemancer.

>>51858236
OOOOH, Is that the Wizard-O's promotion with one of our implements!?

>>51858218
>And we know as much or usually more about the law than you
That's fairly bullshit, that's like saying Applied Pyromancy knows as much or more about Necromancy then Necromancers.

Those fines you've attempted to deduct have been halted and the accounts that attempted to remove them have been frozen, unfortunately.

You have been additionally fined for the attempt, however.

>>51858252
>in a smoke of fire she vanishes, and turns Doss into a bimbo

>>51858251
Very well, that much I can agree on. You're certainly a breed of your own when it comes to your attitude. That said, I think both departments can learn a thing or two by studying the magic practices of the other. Some of us traditional Necromancers do still study what you nowadays call Ectomancy after all, so don't think you're the only ones with ideas valid to your field of study.

>>51858307
>dies in a fire instead

>>51858307
>>51858252
>Veilhex frowns
>He promptly covers his eyes and moonwalks away from the madhouse

>>51858311
>Tries to douse him
Wait no, we can use you for studies!

>>51858311
R.I.P I'll hold a good (from what I know) memory of you.

>>51858311
fear not, brother! others walk the path of baleful polymorph as well! if the nature of your curse is anything similar to mine, then
>>51858311
oh.
poor man.

>>51858285
Its more like saying that Ectomancers know less about Necromancy than Necromancers, Which is a much less broad claim and entirely plausible.

>>51858256
Good luck in your quest!
>>51858310
So be it. I've nothing left to say. Im dissapointed in the loss of our autonomy but oh well.
Guess it's time for me to learn to work with corpses.

>A young woman zips into the meeting with a crack of thunder and floating in mid air, slightly above everyone else.
>She wears a black robe accented with electric blue lightning-bolt patterns and sleek black leggings. Her hair, likely long enough to touch the back of her knees, is kept in a single neat ponytail.
>On her head is an disproportionately huge witch hat.
Looks like I'm late.
>She sighs.
As if it matters for a dump like this. What're we talking about?

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I forgot my luxurious face.

>>51858349
Which would only be appropriate reversed. Archival would keep records, know forms and location, what you'd need to fill out and where you find it.
But it wouldn't know more Law then Legal.
They would probably be fairly connected departments however, and the end result would be us circling funds around in a pointless loop because it all goes the same place.

>>51858371
BREAKING CURSES IS HARD. ESPECIALLY SHITTY ONES. ITS ALMOST AS IF IT DOESN'T WANT TO BE BROKEN.

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NO! The field Schizomancy cannot be merged, simplified, or reduced by merely any bureaucratic process! I refuse! To compromise the ego is death!

>>51858387
>>51858349
Why are you guys talking about this OOC? This could easily be your characters discussing which knows more, something they were basically doing anyways.

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>>51858371
>Emilia takes a look into the room
I have...are these even real departments?

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>>51858418
I make magic clothes, at this point anything could be a department.

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>>51858398
Curses are like locks. Find a good enough key and it'll fall apart.

What are you all quabbling about again?

>>51858398
...
Maybe you're just too shitty to break a shitty curse? Ever think of that?
It's really not that hard.

>>51858418
>Missy rolls her eyes.
Oh, look who decided to show up.
What about departments?

>>51858447
Or you just break it.
No need to come up with some stupid metaphor if you just do it.

>>51858387
I was just about to mention that this is basically just bureaucrats way of flirting rather than a fight.
>>51858410
Because the concern was an OOC one and required OOC discussion. I/e, Does an archivist know more than a Legalmancer? And the answer is most likely 'Maybe an apprenctice but probably not a master'
>>51858285
I think you'll find that you've frozen several of your own accounts, You can enjoy fixing that mess, I do suppose not terribly much was accomplished here today, We'll force you to merge with us in the future, but not today.
Are we still on for the monthly interdepartmental picnic as specified in Form 443?

>>51858435
But you're night a department, you're a craft, a craft that actually sales.
>>51858447
....is that really your uniform?
>>51858466
...I asked you first.

>>51858418
Of course they are.
>>51858435
Indeed it can be. My department is the magic of staying properly dressed, we've existed for the last two hours.

>>51858435
Have we got a department of curse reversal?
>>51858447
THERE IS NO KEY! ive spent the last month reading everything i can find on spells that warp twist and shape the flesh of man, AND NOT A SINGLE ONE RESEMBLES THIS. YOUD THINK SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A SEX CHANGE WOULDNT HAVE A MILLION VARIATIONS, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY DEVIANT MAGE WRITES THEIR OWN. IN INCREASINGLY ROUNDABOUT WAYS.
>>51858466
PAH.

>>51857273
>Wasn't even listening, just saw the sign about tonight's meeting
STOP BEING FUCKING STUPID! The more departments the better!

>>51858487
Well, that is true.
>Preens

>>51858491
...
>Frowns

>>51858285
I need your help suing the Suitomancy department for infringing on copyrights.

>>51858506
Probably.

Actually, I wonder if I could make some sort of girdle of gender reversal...

>>51858506
I wish. Maybe then they'd get rid of the Alloymancers. They're certainly a curse.

>>51858513
>Finger guns
Allways bet on Jill to have the most objectivly correct opinion

>>51858466
Any curse worth its weight will have a very specific removal method. Which means you need to find the key and then break it.

>>51858487
Unfortunately. And actually it's adapted. The standard skirt is half this length.

>>51858506
Have you tried a curse-identifying spell?

>>51858544
>she flips you a silver coin
thanks, now go buy yourself something pretty

>>51858524
>>51858491
you two, fight to the death. There can only be one.
>>51858545
You don't have thighs half that length!

What cures a telepathic migraine?
I've forgotten the cure.

>>51858487
And I just showed up.
>She slooooowwwwwllllyyyy rolls her eyes.
Aren't you supposed to be some kind of administrative big-shot and know about these things?

>>51858506
I really don't see where the problem is.
Like, just dispel the curse.
Like this.
>Missy waves her hand at you, casting a simple remove curse spell.
>It doesn't work.
Hm. You must've messed it up.
>She looks away, her long ponytail flicking.
Not my problem.

>>51858545
Curses don't have weight, they're just curses. They're easy.
Plus, you don't have to find a new key every time if you make a master key.
Like I said, it's not even hard.

>>51858513
There is a message I can get behind. Say, would you like to upgrade your dusty old robes to a snazzy suit? In that case my department got the spells you didn't know you were looking for.
>>51858524
As a fellow clothes based magic user would you be interested in ditching that needle and suit up with the Suitomancers?
>>51858545
Skirts are last years fashion, this season is suits for everyone, regardless of gender. Care for an upgrade?
>>51858587
Fight to the death? How barbaric! Suitomancy is about outdazzling your opponent and making them realise their style is old news.

>>51858524
the most common form of sex change can be superseded by other curses or spells, but this one is a particularly odd duck.
whoever wrote it was clearly completely insane. certain parts of it power certain other parts, and the whole thing is such a mess that even reading the mages signature magic traces recquires a knowledge of two dead languages and the opera hall comedy "wizzards 2: back on the broomstick".
>>51858545
if it has a specific removal method, it probably involves going to the moon and standing on my head.
>>51858622
your efforts are appreciable, but did you SERIOUSLY NOT THINK I TRIED THAT?
>>51858633
im not sure i understand the point of all this clothing business. surely a simple robe does for most things?

>>51858621
Gonna say bismuth

Ingest bismuth

>>51858621
Why one of these marvels of course!
>He says, another large vibrating object in claw
It can most anything that ails you, depression, anxiety, heartburn, headaches and conjunctivitis!

>>51858545
Honestly, how any sensible person could make that uniform for girls working anywhere but the red light district is beyond me.

I'm glad my alterations were allowed, though.

>>51858587
>Draws her wand!
>Which is, comically, an oversized sewing needle
>Sharp and everything

>>51858633
>Laughs
>Mumbles
Stupid cheap, mass produced garbage... No soul...

>>51858653
...

Just drink a few hundred bottles of liquid anti-magic, Which is a thing that is statistically likely to exist

>>51858633
honey please, you're suits couldn't keep up with me. thanks for the offer though

>>51858587
I am aware.

>>51858622
>Diana smiles at the mention of a master key.
Now you're thinking.

>>51858633
Unfortunately the uniform is rather non-negotiable.

>>51858653
Unfortunate.

>>51858622
Being an administrative big-shot allows me to not give a shit about these subjects.
>>51858633
It's hard to call someone barbaric when you're head rolling around on the floor.
>>51858683
We have our first fighter!
>>51858686
>Emilia thinks about it

>>51858675
GODS ABOVE

>>51858683
my body is already far from what im comfortable with. if you think drinking hundreds of bottles of a wizard made good will do anything to help me you are sorely mistaken.
besides, how would the distillation process for that even work?

>>51858653
I'm sure you did. You probably just screwed it up so bad that you made the curse worse.
>She shrugs, the bell attached to the base of her hat tinkling lightly.
Not everyone can be as perfect as me.

>>51858686
I'm always thinking.
Plenty more than most of the pathetic excuses for mages around here, at least.
>She starts rotating slightly as she floats, looking down at you.
Who are you, anyway?

>>51858706
Hm.
Sounds like one of the many reasons this place is effectively a heap of junk.

>>51858653
A robe might keep you warm and covered, but it lacks the style and elegance of a proper suit. Also, we suitomancers have done away with that whole pointy hat business, they are dreadfully out of fashion, top hats is where it is at these days.
>>51858683
No soul? You wound me my lady, just because my outfit wasn't handcrafted doesn't mean it doesn't hold the soul of the genius who designed it.
>>51858684
Living an active lifestyle then? Well I suppose it would be a shame to see the suits dirtied and torn.
>>51858686
I weep for you my lady, to be forced to adhere to such an unfashionable uniform. I'm sorry I couldn't help you.
>>51858706
Quite right my lady, which is why only the finest Suitomancers are expected to survive to see tomorrow. Naturally you can expect me to be one of the lucky few.
>>51858732
While you're looking for that elusive solution to your problem, how about forgetting your worries for a moment with a brand new suit?

>>51858732
>Shrugs
How should I know?

>>51858773
And meanwhile, all of my outfits, every single scrap of fabric within them, was hand-crafted, by me! The magic was woven into the very cords holding it together! It is no mere garment, it is a work of art!

>>51858683
I'm glad as well.

>>51858706
...What are you up to?

>>51858752
I'm Diana. A ritualist and professional troubleshooter for when these people...
>She motions to the rest of the guild.

Find ways to get themselves in bigger trouble than they can handle.

>>51858773
It is what it is.

>>51858773
yeah, shoddy craftsmanship can lead to that.

>>51858752
>raises an eyebrow
Then stop complaining and fix it.
>>51858773
>Emilia puts the hand on the handle of her
blade
How very interesting.
>>51858812
Wondering how high the normal shirt skirt goes....

>>51858732
Far from it! The gods bellow! For when you sit upon one ye shall praise the heavens for the great relief you feel!

>>51858805
And yet you are so dreadfully out of fashion, I weep for you my lady.
>>51858813
Shoddy craftsmanship? I have never been so insulted in all of today! All our Suits are of the finest material and/or glamour!
>>51858820
Escalating to thinly veiled threats of physical violence? You are no lady, good day.
>tips his hat, and vanishes into it

>>51858888
Out of fashion!?

HOW DARE YOU! I WILL REPORT YOU TO THE FASHION POLICE!

>>51858844
>Looks over
GODS WHAT IS THAT MONSTER?!

>>51858812
Hm.
>She looks around at the assortment of buffoons littering the meeting room.
Sounds like you have your hands full.
Do you ever get tired of dealing with idiots?

>>51858820
Pff, why should I?
It's more interesting with things falling apart. If I fixed things, they might get boring.
Plus, I don't really like administration. It's too dull.

>>51858820
>Diana picks up the top layer of fabric of her skirt.
Everything below this is Carmina's work.

>>51858927
Every now and again they surprise you. In a good way.

>>51858903
>It vibrates angrily
Why this! This is the new series, the Excalibur M ninety five! Guaranteed to cure you of your irritability, cramps, aches and worries!

>>51858752
it really is an ingenious spell. everything fired at it rearranges the entire layout. but it was just as complex at the start, before i started trying ever countercurse in the library.
>>51858844
i have spent the last month buried in the library trying VERY hard not to think about the things different with my body and i would thank you if you would PUT THAT THING AWAY.
>>51858903
>>51858888
calm down there. if its any consolation, i, an outsider to this debate, dont particularly want to wear anything made by either of you.

>>51858963
Well that's just rude...

>>51858960
By killing me?

>>51858960
...can it cure me of alloymancers? They irritate me.

>>51858888
I am no lady indeed.
>Emilia draws her blade
>>51858927
Oh how I wished I possessed the nativity of your youth again.
>>51858948
>Emilia takes her blade, pushing against the line of the skirt
This makes me think about one of those Steppe Fighters...

My name feels empty now.
Oh yes.. I forgot.
>>51858960
>Psychically dumps migraine.
Now I feel better.

>>51858985
Certainly not, it's perfectly safe and thoroughly field tested. The only major incident we ever had only required us three hours to wipe the grin off his face, and that was a mismatch in voltages!
>>51858990
>He whispers over his shoulder
Y'know if you give it as a gift they might be willing to negotiate, we make them in chromed molybdenum steel and pure metals like iron! Even crystal glass!

>>51858948
You're telling me there are mages who aren't complete nitwits here?
I think I find that hard to believe. They're rather consistent from what I've seen thus far.

>>51858963
>She sighs and starts rotating a different direction, now mostly upside-down.
I dispelled, like, forty of those for homework back at school.
It's seriously not that hard. I'd have it off easy if it was on me.

>>51859014
What about my birth?
>Missy gives a coy grin, gracefully covering her lips with her fingertips.
Perhaps you mean 'naiveté', dragon girl?
>She laughs softly as she looks down on Emilia, perhaps in more ways than one.

>>51859077
Yes, birth, nativity is the word I held intent of saying. You'll understand one day. Perhaps when your old, greyed out, and weary, but you'll understand.

>>51859014
>Diana gives Emilia a look, pushing away the rapier.
What about them?

>>51859030
Hey, watch where you're dumping that.

>>51859077
There are rare flashes of competency, yes.

>>51859077
YOU DARE MAKE LIGHT OF MY TRIALS?
>in a swift movement, Pelhotia produces a book
LETS SEE HOW YOU DO THEN!

ALTERUK, NEGJELKETERH!

>there is a blinding flash

>>51859057
>Stares
>Blinks
I feel very uncomfortable talking about this.

>>51859077
I'm not a nitwit!

>>51859109
My hope or my migraine?

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>51859100
>She laughs.
Mhmm, I'm sure. Nice cover up. Real convincing.

>>51859109
Surprising. I suppose I'll watch a little closer in the hopes that this place isn't as bad as I first thought.

>>51859112
>Rolling for counterspell!

>>51859113
>Missy looks over at you, floating upside-down in the air, but slowly spinning on a diagonal axis while in a lounging pose.
Oh, really?
Have any proof?

>>51859109
>Courtblade. it's like a curved bastard sword.
Thighs, your thighs, that Ura's thighs, a pleasant thing.
>>51859163
Keep your words sharp, for it is all you have.

>>51859163
>considering pelhotia is somewhat of a novice at magic, the spell is easily sent flying back.
>when the flash subsides, pelhotia has run away, leaving the door flapping behind her.
>whatever the addition of a second layer of spell has done, shes clearly upset about it.

>>51859148
The migraine.

>>51859163
Perhaps the best approach.

>>51859191
...
Please do not try cutting up any more of my clothes, Emilia.

>>51859163
I make money, and am capable of doing so in a non-guild environment.

Do you need to see my tax forms to accept that?

Okay, you people need to work on the way you present yourselves. This is the second time this week some enterprising mage has built a tower in the woods and immediately operated with no regard to the local ecosystem. Carrion Crawlers? Really? What possible purpose does it serve to introduce yet another predator? Now I hear someone's introduced even worse creatures just to get rid of the first ones! You know people live out there, right?

That's not even counting the goblin tribes with their sudden and mysterious acquisition of dangerous magic items. I'll have you know that the Grey Hand tribe had a rich history and culture before one of you chuckleheads decided to play catch with a sphere of annihilation.

I've already received half a hundred complaints from the nearby villages, including one which didn't exist three days ago! Sure, it's all fun and games to you, but there are things one simply does not do, and starting cults 'for a laugh' breaches quite a few of the rules of basic decency.

Why do you even have this department? No one ever listens to a word we say, but when we try to resign, suddenly we're a vital part of the process! Is this just some kind of scoreboard for you people?

>>51859228
I know, I like paying mind games, my migraine returned afterwards anyway...

Where and what is that cure?

>>51859113
No no, it's quite comfortable, especially with our home brewed lubricant, grown from several hypoallergenic plants, it feels like the real thing!

File: Spoopy.jpg (10KB, 128x229px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 128x229px

>>51857510

I don't know if I'm the spooky you're looking for, but I'm what you got. Thanks for saving me the trip.

Did I miss much?

>>51859287
...Real what? What is big enough to have one of those that size?

>>51859293
I have no idea.

>>51859228
....have I done so before?
>>51859239
>Emilia cleans her ears out
Did you say something?
>>51859293
....is decarnation even a word?

Hey

>>51859163
Oh, really?
Don't tell me you've forgotten when I kicked your ass a few weeks back. I wouldn't be surprised if you still have a headache.

>>51859219
>Missy sighs.
Hm. How pathetic.
I do wonder what that did to her, though.
>Missy smiles a little, slowly tapping her cheek with a slim finger.

>>51859228
Oh, I suppose I should give you my name.
It's Missy.
>She holds out a hand to shake, despite being at a rather awkward angle in the air right now.
I'm glad to finally meet a kindred mind in this sludge bucket of a guild.

>>51859236
Money?
Is that how you expect to gauge yourself? Money's easy to make. I've got plenty.
And why would I want to see anyone's tax forms?

>>51859239
>Missy glances over, clearly bored.
Sorry, did you say something?

>>51859321
Why anyone of course, usually we recommend someone about five feet in height to begin with, but more seasoned veterans of shorter stature could certainly manage it, why I've seen a kobold no more than two and a half feet manage it!

>>51859272
"Playing" mind games.
I bit my tongue.

>>51859293
Bear witness to my new department!

guys.

What

>>51859344
I don't know, but I'd rather you not start.

>>51859366
Nice to meet you Missy.

>>51859358
How-are-you-today?
Oh...
>Psycus uses his telepathy.
Ah... there we are, how are you today?

is

excuse me, does anyone know anything about goblins?

>>51859321

Hey.
>waves
That's good. I can never keep track.

>>51859344
It's the opposite of incarnation.

>>51859381
I... Ok. What does it do?

the

>>51859366
Well, how do you expect me to measure myself?

>>51859377
...
>Deflating balloon sounds

>>51859418
Yes, well, it is quite important to keep track.

>>51859366
It's a funny thing, I heard about how you kicked my ass, yet, from what I recall from the other people, you hit my head twice, meanwhile, a me fighting at a fraction of my skill was thrashing you around. True...I am not as catty as you are, but I have no tongue for these insults.
>Emilia grips the handle of her blade, lightly lifting the sheath
There is only place where my voice sings.
>>51859402
Please, you wish that anyways.
>>51859418
Give me a definition of decarnation then.

topic

Don't know why I bother...

of

>>51859432
>Sexually charged vibrations

tonight's

>>51859412
They have psyches less developed than ants?

>>51859418
In a word, telepathy, in effect, an entire department built for forcing non-compliant people to respect the departments and their wishes.

meeting?

>>51859502
i see.
thats er... not very helpful.

>>51859402
>If you shake her hand, just before making contact a decently-sized zap of static electricity snaps to your hand.
Yes, I suppose so, Diana.

>>51859432
For starters, I expect someone who isn't a nitwit be able to be able to think of a sufficient method of measurement.
>She smiles haughtily.
Perhaps you already find yourself lacking?

>>51859436
What, you wanna go again?
Sorry, I'm not really into helping masochists get their kicks.
>Missy smiles from above you.
I don't like fighting opponents I've already beaten, anyways. Makes it booooorrring~

>>51859519
Fix that curse yet?

>>51859443
...I didn't even know this place had you guys...

>>51859484
Why would you do that...?

>>51859580
>Carmina crosses her arms and harrumphs

>>51859580
>Emilia holds her arm out. Her thumb makes it so she can only see your head
From where I'm standing, you're not that big. And your head is all hot air...

>>51859598
A lifetime dedication to an art, integrity, profit. Take your pick.

>>51859432

Usually, yes. I've found its easier to presume that each mage is in their own department unless stated otherwise.

>>51859436

Decarnation is the disembodiment of flesh.

>>51859502

That sounds unpleasent. However, my usual method involves the janitorial closet on the 5th floor, so yours may be a preferred alternative to some.

Oh,

it's

>>51859580
you cannot possibly be this oblivious!
the magical knot placed on me a month ago has now been intensified to a ridiculous degree.
IM NOT EVEN A HUMAN ANYMORE. IVE BEEN REDUCED TO ONE OF THE LOWEST CREATURES THINKABLE! AND NOW THAT ITS BEEN MIXED INTO THE PROGRAMMING OF THE FIRST CURSE ITS NOT COMING OFF EITHER!

SO NO, AT THE PRESENT MOMENT, IM SHORT, GREEN, AND STILL COMPLETELY THE WRONG GENDER.

>>51859638
Problems against gob-er.. I mean certain species have been a major thorn in my departments side.

>>51859580
>Diana flinches a tiny bit.

Indeed.

Though I don't think you should piss off Emilia.

>>51859638
So...you're...Ellen the Ghost?

nearing

the

meeting

>>51859598
You could at least try a little harder.
You know, make some semblance of an effort. Or is that too much for you to handle? Does it give you a headache?
>Missy pushes out her bottom lip, pretending to pout at Carmina.

>>51859618
What, now you're confused about perspective?
It's called vanishing points, dragon girl.
>She laughs softly.
And if we're going to talk about hot air, I'm not sure the grand custodian of the aeromancy department herself should be the one to do it.

>>51859660
Oh.
>She giggles.
I thought that perhaps this was your original form. I do think it may suit you quite well.

>>51859680
Why not? Not like she can do anything.
>Missy shrugs.
I've thrashed her once, I can do it again.

closing

>>51859638
I mean, I'm not in a department.

Though I've got enough apprentices now I might be able to start one...

>>51859626
>Groans
Let me guess, you're going to keep pulling new ones out to show me until I buy one, aren't you?

>>51859739
And now you are insulting me, by assuming I am an idiot.

>Sighs

time.

>>51859679

I hadn't imagined them with the required brain waves for telepathic influence.

>>51859682

>blinks
I suppose when you put it that way, yes.

>>51859739
>Emilia laughs
You may be right about a few points....
>Emilia makes a shrug with her shoulder
But when you wear your pride too heavily on your shoulders, it becomes an object of weakness.
>Emilia is apt to speak in ambiguous phrases, but what she means become clear as there's a scraping of hair against blade
>Emilia has a lock of Missy's hair over the edge of her blade
>>51859770
How overly...flowery.

>>51859739
you are VERY lucky that my first attempt to do something to you resulted in further complications, otherwise id put the last months worth of research to use and fling everything i know at you.

somewhere out there theres a fair universe where youre the one stuck as a goblin.

>>51859754
Hadn't crossed my mind
>He says, holding several more objects between his fingers
>>51859757
Perhaps one of these could speed you up!

>>51859757
when will the next meeting be?

>>51859793
I

>>51859806
am

>>51859754

You could go through the channels and make it official, then, though I think this meeting was to oppose the rising number of departments. Maybe a hostile takeover of a smaller department?

>>51859783

Well, Ellen the Ghost hardly had the ring of a proper title. I felt my practice was worth some flowering.

>>51859820
perfectly

>>51859833
fine.

>>51859801
I

>>51859822
A good thing you haven't met the chainsawmancer whilst he was alive.

>>51859793
>Sighs and groans
Alright, describe the rest of them to me, because I know you're going to anyway if I tell you not to.

>>51859822
Well, that would just be mean, though.

>>51859863
don't

>>51859822
>Emilia blows a puff of hair on herself
Sure.

>>51859878
keep

>>51859888
track.

>>51859754
Well, why don't you prove me wrong?
If you're able to, that is.

>>51859783
>Missy stops rotating.
I don't think you want to do that. Could you not?
>Her hair tries to flick itself away from the blade, apparently through some sort of will of its own.

>>51859785
>Missy giggles condescendingly.
I don't believe there is. Any alternate versions of myself could never bear to be such things.

>>51859870

I might have. Frankly, I don't recall much of my time before death, so maybe oh did once upon a time. Most of the memories are from working on my techniques I think.

>>51859875

Perhaps mean, yea. Maybe a diplomatic merger?

>>51859879

Come now, we're mages. Flowery descriptions come with the territory.

>>51859785
Hey there pretty lady!
I don't believe we've met.
You smell nice.

>>51859909
>the hair flick is easier said than done
>Emilia drags her blade slowly, creating a split end on a single hair
I am not often one to give...personal threats...the next time. We shall indulge in a bellicose.
>>51859945
And flair, and originality. You wouldn't here me calling myself the long eared humanoid!

>>51859909
>pelhotia gives what should be an intimidating glare, but given her current stature it fails to impress.
>>51859967
remove yourself from my presence right this instance or i will unload every bit of anger and magic i have and believe me it has been QUITE a day.

>>51860053
ah, a fiesty one.
theres not a woman alive that can resist the charms of squee, however.
pick a number between one and ten.

Are these threads open?

>>51860053
Quite the problem you have there. Have you tried...applying a third curse? Might balance things out.

>>51860085
is there anyone here that will care if i kill him?

>>51859991
>Twirls moustache.
>Psycus stops and slicks his hair back.
And skill, I cannot believe you forgot such an essential thing.

>>51859967
I can't hear this one, Oh... that's why...

>>51860053
Stop mentally screaming! IT BURNS!

>>51859991

Well, you could. However, the title is a dual meaning. Yes, it does mean that I am in fact a disembodied spirit, however I also specialize in disembodiment. Like Jeff, the Dude of Destruction would imply one who destroys, The Damsel of Decarnation would imply one who decarnates.

>>51860085

But if the woman is not alive?

>>51860100
More specifically, is there a department for Magus/spellsword/battle mage/Punch Wizard? Or is it all wands and robes?

>>51859909
I don't have to take this from you! I am my own woman!

>>51859945
>Shrugs
I... don't think that would work.

>>51860100
Yes! Just make up a character and join in

>>51860101
what would you propose?

>>51860110
which effects the capacity of the mind? the body or the spirit? am i going to get dumber while stuck like this?

>>51859875
What, I wouldn't dream of it! I serve a very discerning clientele and still manage to make enough revenue to support several pet projects and the guild dues of over sixty apprentice interns! Not to mention the very hefty dues to the guild itself our department covers!

Certainly I wouldn't turn down a sale, and if you'll have a look at this brochure.
>He says, handing you a scroll half a foot thick in diameter, by a couple wide, easily five kilogrammes in weight
You'll find that we cater to all kinds and certainly there's a product in here for you!

>>51860110
>Emilia sheaths her blade
I'm sorry, who are you again?
>>51860120
So you're The Damsel of Decarnation? Why not The Lady That Moans?

>>51860108
SO LONG AS YOU STOP BEING ANGRY!
YES!

>>51860100
>>51860131
>Psycus gets up after rolling on the floor in agony.
Yes, but what is your name?

>>51860141
Could you fashion me a mask of tin?
Tin might be helpful to me after all.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>51860053
>Missy suppresses a laugh, then remembers that it doesn't matter and laughs anyways.

>>51860141
By all means, I agree.
So why don't you do something about it?

>>51859991
>Missy frowns.
I warned you.
>An audible current of electricity shoots down the length of her hair, trying to flow into the sword and then to Emilia's hand to jolt her muscles into releasing the blade!

>>51860149
Some sort of height curse? I know one which -as a side effect - makes one quite pale, which could fix the...greening.

>>51860120
You underestimate my powers of seduction.
Ahem.

Hey there baby, are you a book out of the library, cause I'm checking you out and getting confused because I can't read.

I'm usually better at this.

>>51860176
TIN?! I'll have you know Bismuth is superior in every way to paltry tin

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>51860181
>redirects it back into Missy

>>51860154
>She takes it
>Though she's sure she'll regret it
>She sighs and opens it

>>51860176
Tin isn't quite my specialty.

>>51860181
Because I'm not good at fighting magic.

>A wizard in a short coat and tight riding chaps enters the meeting hall, a broadsword hanging in a rag wrapped scabbard slaps at his waist as he walks
>He removes his broad brimmed hat, one side pinned up with what appears to be manticore spine, revealing a middle aged if travel weary face sporting sloppily shaved scruff and short brown hair greying at the temples, obviously self cut.

Is this the famed Mage's Guild?

>>51860187
the curse i hurled at miss sparky was meant to turn her into a goblin. unfortunately she sent it back, so now im stuck like this.

i ask because every goblin I've ever met has been a stupid little tit, >>51860189, case in point, and I'm wondering if that's a racial thing or if its due to a deficit in education.

>>51860230
>though potent, Emilia takes the hit rather well
>It's like feeding pain to a masochist

>>51860141

I'm at a loss then. Unless maybe find an abandoned department title and file for renaming?

>>51860158

>blinks once more
Isn't that a little lewd?

>>51860189

There's a janitorial closet on the 5th floor. Perhaps you should meet me there.

>>51860176
M'name's Than, from the West. I've come to receive a formal education in magic.

>>51860257
Well, I think I could come up with a curse that could set you right. But...what's the opposite of a goblin?

>>51860285
I said moaner, not sexer.

>>51860234
>Each 'Quality holistic massager' takes up an eight to fourteen inch segment, the tools stretched out across the page,under each, a sizing chart across the page with its feature lists all over it

>>51860285
Yee ow!
Blig and skork aren't gonna believe this!

>>51860158
>Psychus narrows his eyes and faces Emilia.
You dare?

You DARE to face me?

A master of the mind itself?

I could turn you into a burnt out husk with a thought!

I could give my migraine right now!

Tell me, o so glorious maiden, what will you do if I cripple your mind?

>>51860149
>Psycus stays still.
T-the spirit.
S-stop being angry, E-emotionally, A-and t-then I can talk to you.
>Psycus's face twitches.

>>51860204
>Psycus turns around and frowns.
It can't stop my interference, therefore bismuth, at least in my case, is useless.

>>51860303
A Dragon? An angel?

An over large pearl?

>>51860285
That could work, come to think of it.

>>51860335
>Flustered!
>Flees the guild hall in embarrassment!

>>51860303
thats the problem. the goblin curse has interfaced quite nicely with the curse already upon me, meaning the whole thing is now twice the tangled mess and just as impossible to remove.
the curse seems quite happy to accept additional ways of screwing me over though, so im a bit afraid of what you might try.

>>51860230
>>51860271
>Missy's hair whips around, floating behind her like an electrically-charged stinger at the ready.
Good effort, but you can't touch *my* lightning. It's purer stuff than what you aeromancers work with.

>>51860234
Oh, please, I can tell.
Yet you insist that you're not a nitwit.
>Missy smirks.
Does this mean that you're such a nitwit that you can only conceive the solution of violence?

>>51860295
My magics are unsuitable for recruits without the proper arrangements in place.

I'd recommend a different school of magic.

>>51860252
'Famed'? You might have the wrong place.
Nothing but blockheads and weaklings around here.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>51860348
>>51860360
>claps her hands together, before muttering as she gathers various spell reagents from her robe

A large pearl! Perfect!

This shouldn't hurt. Probably. Maybe. 50-50...70-30.

>she blows the mixture of magical dusts towards you, as she casts her pearl-curse.

Should provide pearl-like effects. Namely...biggening and whitening.

>>51860391
Wait, what? What is your area of study? I'm sure I could take it...probably.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>51860338
I'm a prmordial, so I have no brain...I'd imagine a whole lot of nothing would happen.
>>51860374
>At thought of "pure" lightning, Emilia does what comes natural. She unleashes pure primordial power. Electricity in its purest state

File: 1455438142767.png (2MB, 808x989px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 808x989px

Is this a sign that I need to restart the Monster's Ball?

>>51860409
Weaklings? Pretty sure I saw some mages creating a pocket sized universe over in the corner over there.

Wait, why are they snorting it?

>>51860330

Moaning is often sexual. Regardless, I'm not some moaning ghost, so the title hardly seems appropriate.

>>51860336

Becoming a mop is hardly a believable experience, so that is to be expected.

>>51860349

>waves as Carmina takes off
Good luck with the department

>>51860360

If the curse is merely physical, I may be of assistance.

>>51860419
AAAACK!
>pelhotia attempts to dodge

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>51860459
dammit i messed up the roll

>>51860450
There's certainly nothing wrong with it, it's a natural reaction.

>>51860459
>>51860475
I was only trying to help! If the curse can't be removed, it can added to.

Might take a while to get more pearl dust though...have to think of something else not-goblin...

>>51860475
>diving under the table, pelhotia manages to avoid the pearl curse.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? IF THAT WERE TO INTERFACE WITH THE CURSE ID BE STUCK AS A GIANT WHITE BALL!

File: 1464448592167.gif (2MB, 369x266px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 369x266px

gay

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>51860442
>Missy looks over, trying her best not to look concerned.
It's probably just an illusion.

>>51860428
>Missy, doing her best to hide her surprise, tries to absorb the electricity for herself!

>>51860508
>>51860510
Okay, okay...no pearl stuff...maybe something more subtle...

>>51860508
im sorry about the waste of components, but this is a CURSE. it would have eaten that quite happily and stuck me as a ball, and while being reduced to such a low form is bad, at least i can move.

>>51860553
tell me before hand this time.

>>51860564
>>51860582
Right, right...the shape is a problem, so I need something shapeless!

Something shapeless and also not-goblin...preferably big...

>>51860428
>Her long stream of hair whips around, spreading itself like a web around her. As the electricity strikes, her hair evenly distributes the current throughout and directs it to Missy's body.
>Missy points one of her feet, bare of any footwear, toward the ground and a thick bolt of lightning discharges from it, dissipating into the earth with only a black char spot on the ground.
>Her expression briefly becomes one of concentration before reverting to it's default bored state.

>>51860614
transformation spells are finicky. removing the shape will keep the material and probably just turn me into a lovely statue.
keeping with living things, the opposite of a goblin varies. are we talking size, intelligence, social status, what?

>>51860619
>Emilia stands there, and a lip becomes pert
Well, well, well, finally someone who isn't all bark.

>>51860651
Now you're thinking! What's the opposite of a statue? Then we can cancel that out!

>>51860672
with the way the curse likes building on itself, if i were turned into a statue the only way of solving it would be to animate me. we have careful.

>>51860719
to be careful. we have to be careful. yes.

>>51860719
Duh! I think I know an animation spell or two...all I need is more pearl dust...anyone got some spare?

>>51860744
ive already lost my species! id at least like to stay as a living creature!

>>51860660
>Missy crosses her arms as her hair rearranges itself back into its neat ponytail.
I'm almost inclined to say the same regarding you, but that's yet to be proven.
Maybe we'll see in time.
What's your name, anyways?

>>51860773
Ariedaeonos, Emilia Ariedaeonis.

>>51860767
Hmph...okay, no statue animation bits...so we need something physically not goblin and also alive...

>>51860424
Learning such magics, Understanding and wielding the power of telepathy, And using it responsibly, Are all obscenely difficult, If you use telepathy incorrectly every sentient with a psyche nearby will become a vegetable, In terms of mental activity.

>>51860849
well lets see... the opposite of a goblin would be large, intelligent, graceful, probably something that denotes respect...

none of that says human either though.

>>51860805
Can't recall if I told you mine, or not.
It's Missy, in case I did and you forgot.
>She starts rotating again.
Hm. Well, this turned out to be a rather interesting meeting, though I've no idea what the topic was.
See you around.
>Missy dissipates into lightning and zips out the door with a piercing crack.

>>51860885
Like a unicorn! Hopefully they'll just...balance out to human? I think I have unicorn horn powder someplace...