HFY

>>51809131
...
I remember /tg/ thinking of this ages ago.
I believe the consensus would be that we'd be the perfect inter-stellar war deterrant, and make excellent diplomats.

>>51809226
Yeah, we even got the variant where humans aren't cute but downright sexy.

I liked tge opposite idea. Humans are so boring, uninteresting and unassuming, that we become THE boring, uninteresting and unassuming race. Crowd incarnate. As in, the perfect spies, infiltrators, saboteurs and assassins.

>>51809646
So... we become the Elcor/Volus of the galaxy?

>>51809854
Why? Both of those don't really fit that description.

>>51809646
Humans are the Grey Men?
HUMANS ARE THE GREYS
AYY LMAO

>>51810048
Oh god

ALL OF MY YES

AYYY LMAO INDEED

>>51810048
Abductions by Greys are just pissed off future humans getting revenge on their opponents ancestors.

>>51810048
The inserted "probes" are not really probes.

>>51810133
Sounds about right by human standards

>>51810048
Wells proposed that. "The Man of Year Million".

If you want humanity to *have* something other races don't, just do something less generic than "willpower" or "determination".

For example, rhythm.

Thousands of aliens from every known species come to attend the galactic pinnacle of performing arts - monks who spend decades cloistered away, honing their musical talent until they can perform music in perfect sync with each other, without technological aid of any kind.

When a human diplomat attends the show... it's a barbershop quartet. A pretty good one, mind you, but not anything worth writing home about.

On the other hand, aliens staunchly refuse to believe that the human concept of "musical theatre" is anything other than a well-designed (if artistically interesting) facade.

>>51810048
WE

WUZ

AYYS

AND

LMAO

>>51809131
>Tumblr fixed the humanity fuck yeah meme

HFY has many stories of humanity contacting truly alien races which lack concepts that we perceive as universal. Furthermore the basic premise of HFY is to take something mundane about humanity, be it cultural or biological, and reexamine it from another angle to display how extraordinary that thing we take for granted (or are complacent about) really is.

That said some might say every thread needs a good hook but be careful as the use of bait will bring a lot more than people who are interested in the topic.

Also I will forever be confused as to how people who miss the point of HFY by such a margin still jump at the chance to insert themselves into threads which they have no interest in. Its like if one were to post ad nauseum in MTG threads about how much they hate MTG since Commander is the only game type. Its obvious garbage from someone with a cursory understanding of the topic and would most likely be driven by a desire for trolling coupled with a lack of effort, or mild autism (not understanding people can like different things).

>>51810355
>If you want humanity to *have* something other races don't, just do something less generic than "willpower" or "determination".
>For example, rhythm.
That's a good one.

Personally, I always liked the Food angles myself. The idea of getting an ayy to orgasm by feeding them chocolate cake really tickles my pickle

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>>51810355
>When a human diplomat attends the show... it's a barbershop quartet. A pretty good one, mind you, but not anything worth writing home about.
I love it.

Video semi-related.
https://youtu.be/t_FPIhKNL6o?t=72

File: Humanity Fuck Awwww.jpg (3MB, 1960x6744px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1960x6744px

>>51809131
You know why i hate Tumblr?

Nothign is *dated* i can't tell if this was written last week or last year.

and besides that, we did it on... er... check my timestamp.

File: Excessively Cute humans.jpg (327KB, 1855x771px) Image search: [Google]

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>>51811197
2014. 2014 is when we tried "humans are adorable". At least, in that greentext.

File: HumanityIsForLovers.jpg (263KB, 1025x673px) Image search: [Google]

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>>51811215
We did the sexy thing too. Because OF COURSE we would.

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>http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm
Someone pick a theme from this, and make an HFY out of it, or a story where some ayy xenohistorian comes across both this and good ol' "Halfdan was here"

I wanna see the ayys react to the true and timeless essence of humanity.

>>51811240

Does anyone have the HFY where a guy crash lands on a planet where the aliens defend their hives by snoo-snooing the invaders to death?

I think at the end he fucks like half the world to death so they erect a statue of him and "may name descend upon your mate" became a bedroom blessing.

>>51811240

You don't understand.
Since mankind first looked up at the skies, he has dreamed of having sex with them. See: the myth of Tithonus.
We have learned, with great sadness, that we cannot fuck the sky. We will not be the peerless hero who deflowers the virgin sun or the lady of the moon. We cannot even make love to the stars.
But we hope that there will be living creatures who dwell in the stars. We hope that we can reach them and find friendship, that our species is not the sole intelligent life, alone in all the heavens, growing ever more maddened by its isolation. No, that we cannot accept. There must be others.
And when we find them, we WILL have sex with them. Their blood may be acid and they may breathe poison, but we WILL have sex with them. They may have clawing razors for genitals and limbs that would crush our human frames as easily as we can crush a baby's skull, but we WILL have sex with them . . .
You are like the early caveman who asked Thog Uklakala HOW when he said he would fight a saber-toothed tiger and win . . .
If we find aliens, we will have sex with them, just as we soar across the sky, just as we traveled to the moon, just as Thog hunted the saber-toothed tiger at the dawn of man.
We WILL have sex with them, no matter what difficulties we may face along the way. We WILL have sex with them, because if it comes down to it WE WILL BUILD A MACHINE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM.

>>51811469

We kinda already do have a machine for cross species sexy times. You put like a fleshlight thing on the end of a prodigious bull's penis to jack him off, steal his semen and sell it to someone on the other side of the world who will use a giant turkey baster slash dildo to put a proverbial steak in the oven.

>>51809131
>>51811197
After spending around eight million years on google I went and searched: timemachineyeah "what if by alien standards" and guess what was the FIRST link to pop up? The original post, motherfuckers, with the date it was posted on. It's 5 months old. Yerrrrrr welcum.

>>51812805
>>51809131
This archive link is from 2014:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/34705586/
humanity being portrayed as cute is not new, but OP probably is.

>>51809131

It was also a plot point in "Deepness in the Sky"; the aliens are sentient spiders with multifaceted crystalline eyes. The thing is, when they're born they have a pair of forward facing eyes, they grow into their adult eyes as they start molting. This means that to the humans, the aliens are giant terrifying spiders. To the aliens, humans are a race of giant cuddly babies.

>>51809131
The movie Fantastic Planet is literally this idea a good few centuries later.
We are pets and pests alike. Mice that infest their public spaces and play in little cages for children amusement.

Not only does HFY remain the objectively worst genre, but absolutely anything, anyone could think up for it was done much better, decades ago.

Is there an HFY where we are the first civilization?

>>51816432
There's at least a few where humans are first contact for less advanced civilizations, but I can't think of any where humans are literally the first.