5.e D&D Thread/ Story time thread

>>51781405
I guess I should start posting mine then. Ah well
>Okay. This was a special homebrew a friend made, set in the far future, but using 5e rules.
>New classes, new races and new equipment.

>In the beginning, we all started on some big ass ship exploring a new part of the galaxy. On board was several crew members, wealthy passengers here to lay claim to the new planets, and our party.
>The DM, kindly let us start off with 1 special item for our character or better, but not too powerful.
>The first was a average human, but was from a water world so he had gills and shit. He was a ranger like class that specializes in guns and stealth. He was a general dick that had chosen 3 companions with him as his special that took a full 3 minutes to do combat.

>>51782355
>The next was my character. I had geared up to make a healer and had made a plant like creature that absorbed straight solar radiation to live. This made me glow, and look like a 6-7 foot plant like bad-ass. Their base idea was more of a peaceful one, and the class i had made was like a hard-light forming creature, with special racials, and some healing tools from the cleric class.
>Then we have one of the more strange ones. A giant Russian cockroach. Not really a cockroach but essentially the love child of a 40k Ork, a Slavic thug, and a very pissed bug. His class was a melee damage dealer, and he had no real concern for his well being. He also had a fuck off ax that did huge damage with his retarded strength. Good times.

>>51782371
>Then we had another human, only this time an actual human. He was playing a class called the Gentleman, which they got from a pre-existing home brew class. Basically a neck beard meets romance harem anime protagonist embodied in a 18th century british aristocrat. We never learned his special, and he didn't come into the story until a bit of the ways through.
>So all was going well, two members talking with each other, when the ship captain called them, the ranger, and the bug man to the bridge. They then saw my character looking out the window at a strange as fuck Coke Can from space. A giant pure black can shaped ship had appeared, absorbing light, and had resisted all attempts to communicate.
>The captain was, of course, leaning towards attacking the thing, I tried to mediate saying it may be bombs, when our bug man, who the player named the race Xarh, decided to hit the fuck it button. Literally.
>He rolled to attempt to fire the ship's weapons. DM laughed and said sure. Nat 20. Everything gets fired.... and did jack shit. The Coke Can from Space is still there, and it starts morphing and growing spikes.

>>51782380
>The captain orders the party to check and do their job, i.e. protect a very important person on the ship. As we left, we head out the ship starts rocking and hull breach warnings pop up. We then see these black ooze people form up in the hallway, and they start to attack us.

>The bug man decides it's a good idea to charge, and it worked pretty well, as he managed to grapple one down. Two more start heading up, and try to hit him but miss. The ranger then started shooting at them, as do I with a measly pistol. Goes well, until one of his companions gets a nat 1 and shoots the Xarh in the back. He's pissed, and this sparks a feud, mainly for RP reasons, but the fight continues. The Xarh then rips the head off the ooze man as it tries to bit him, and then bites it himself.
> We stop by the captains main quarters, and after dispatching of a slime, we inspect what seems to be a glowing envelope. We open it up to find a shard of something that glows brightly, and a letter. The bug man can't read, and tosses it to us, before putting the shard on a necklace. Attempts to make him give it up were failures. This becomes a reoccurring theme.

>We read over the very vague note, from someone neither of us knew, and wasn't registered on the ship. Deciding it was best to continue, we headed for the next stop.

>>51782394
>We manage to kill more ooze people, and make it to the med bay. We see a doctor about to be violated by one with a sword. And more slime on the walls. The Ranger and companions light him up. Two more start to form and attack. The bug man, in all his vast wisdom, charges at 3 health. And he manages to live. He knocks one down and impales the other on to its transport ship, and then pushes him out into the void. The other gets sucked into the breach, keeping us from gravity damage.

>The bug man continues. Trying to be seen as a powerful warrior, he tries to dismember his trapped enemy. Nat 1, and his hand is sucked into its body. He pulls it out and tries to kick it out the hole. This also fails, and now he's upset, as me and the ranger are talking to the doctor to calm her down. We then hear the xarh rip a operating table off the ground and try to slam it into the still trapped ooze man.
>Nat 2. The table breaks and the ooze man laughs at him to which he then sulks in the corner for a bit. We move one after having the doctor heal us quickly, looting the medkits, and pass through storage to get to the armory, picking up scrap along the way. More ooze men come out of the floor. We fight, with the ranger taking the time and doing ridiculous damage with his companions, me firing still and keeping from getting hit.

>>51782409
>After it's over, and the Xarh redeeming himself by tearing one enemy in half, we get to looting. Bug tries to break a big steel box in the middle, fails, but doesn't break his axe. The DM now makes us count ammo for our guns, and here's the kicker. The melee bug man finds the ammo cache, which has been raided, and findes 25 bullets in all. He takes a gun, and says all the bullets are his.

>Ranger does not like this. Rolls to persuade bug man to give us some ammo. Bug man beats his roll. “NO, is Diridas now. Find own.” Meanwhile, I pick the lock on the box and grab a very, very fancy machine gun from within. There is no more to be found, informs the DM. They decide to roll intimidation, things escalating now. He rolls a 16 to try and grab scrap to give him to deal with it. Bug man, nat 20’s and takes the scrap with no charge.

>He takes all the ammo, and gets in the rangers face about his pushy demands. Ranger pulls a dick move and has his companions and him aim their guns at him. Xarh takes no shit, and swings. He rolls and mauls the biggest companion with his axe in one hit(fucking op at first level). They’re getting ready for a fight, when I step in, flash my hands, and roll for nat 20 to tell them to shut up and focus on the thing tearing our ship apart.

>>51782427
>They agree to this wisdom, and decide to head over to check on our VIP, the princess. We leave the one compatriot behind to heal with the medic while we cross the ship, and I decide to check the A.I. Core. Peak in, see 4 slime's attacking it, and inform the group. We decide to split up, giant bug man to kill slime's with me backing him up, squad goes to check the princess. We step in, bug fucking mangles one, I shoot around the corner and miss one. They all sight the bug man, and attack him, but miss bad, and so they collapse into a pile on the wall.

>Me and the bug unload into them for the next round, but they reform as one, and collapse on the bug man. This pisses him off, and so they cut upward and through the slime, emerging from the other side. Victory achieved, they inspect the cameras. They find out that someone is currently going through the captain's quarters, murdering everyone with ease, and decide, fuck that shit.

>They fail to seal him in there, but manage to talk to the A.I., which tells him with his damaged sensors that they have 7 or so minutes to get off before the ship blows up. The A.I. wants to go with them, and injects into a flash drive, which the bug man takes to add to his necklace. They then go to check on the other group.

>>51782443
>The other group meanwhile, entered the ballroom, and found a princess crying at the bar, dead oozes and soldiers everywhere, and the Gentlemen laying on a bed in the middle. They manage to make a few small chats, before more slimes appear behind them, and they get to combat. They manage to kill them before our characters arrive, and the bug man loots for ammo (which the soldiers got beforehand) while I tell them the ships gonna blow, and give a small personal blessing to all the dead soldiers in the room.

>The Bug Man, upset there's no ammo, takes the now blessed corpses and flings them so hard they splatter on the ceiling. We head for the hangar, Gentleman carrying Princess over his shoulder, the rest of us ready. We move into the hangar, but before we reveal what happened there, allow me to explain.

>The healing ability at level one I had, which also needed to be balanced with the other two abilities I had then, dealt a 1d4 damage to me,and healed that doubled to whatever target I could touch. This meant I was at 4 health when we stepped into the hangar, and found the boss of our Prologue. We assumed he had spotted us, the way he was headed for the door there, so I called out and tried to identify exactly what he was doing. He then face rolled me by throwing a sledgehammer for 8 damage.

>>51782459
>Was pissed, but I messed up the dodge roll, and wasn't dead, so I rolled with it. The group, watching this, decides to get the fuck outta dodge, and heads for the escape pod except for the bug man who broke down the door of some rich ladies room and stole all her clothes before breaking into another room and closing the door behind him(He's weird).

>The Gentleman deciding to carry me (this was mostly because I described the race as androgynous, and we found it funny if he thought I was a chick)and run on the catwalk. We manage to get to some pods, while gunning down a slime, and find out that the pods only carry one person at a time(horrible design/budget cuts). Gentleman jams me into one, Princess into the other, and sends them off, before figuring out that the pods on the top row was a bit too short, naimly by one pod.

>We also find out that the sledgehammer goes back to the giant, who catches it and charges another throw. Gentleman solved our dilemma by Charisma rolling against the only female in the squad, and getting to go in a pod with her, close together. No, he didn't get into the 500 Mile High club, even though we all lobbied for it. They launched into atmosphere, afterwards, the bug came in, to enact his retarded plan.

>>51782475

>Sneaking up on the boss, he throws all the woman's clothes around him and goes to attack as he’s confused, only to see the Bigger Boss has showed up and back hands him off the catwalk into the main area. He somehow slipped past them and made it to a pod, leaving them behind.
>The squad, unworried for him, leaves in their own pods, launching to the planet and leaving him there. What happens next is, all our pods land, and the first one out is the soldier's player. He takes a quick recon, and finds all of the rich being pulled away/murdered by pygmies. OOcly we started snickering (because the Dm had to talk in excitable Ooks and Ecks), while the soldier goes stealth to watch. The bug man frees himself, sees nothing but a beautiful ocean, a crashing ship, and decides, fuck it, let's build a sandcastle.

>The female soldier and the Gentleman are crammed into the pod and hear the pygmies breaking the top open and decide on a plan. They both jump out and scram for it, the gentleman tripping, but recovering by slamming three pygmies, supported by the soldiers fire, before they all start to get away.

>Meanwhile, since my race only recovers through natural sunlight quickly, and is trapped in a dark pod, he doesn't awaken before the pygmies crack it open and start pulling him along. He wakes up, sees them pulling him, and throws Wyrd lights around him and try to scare them off. This fails, and the pygmies decide to take him back because he is special. He manages to break their grip for a bit, which as them get mad and try to knock him out.

>>51782489

>He is at one health, but i try the Wyrd light again, fail and get knocked out. Healers damnit, they aren't meant for this shit. Meanwhile, a pygmy has kicked over the bug mans sandcastle, and so they start yelling. This eventually leads to the best slap fight in history, with each escalating damage, and ended with the allegiance of one of the pygmies by respect.

>He leads the bug, and by extension, the rest of the party, to a shack on the beach side, owned by a dead guy, who mapped out the island. The group decides, and thinks, while the bugman tries and keeps failing to talk to the pygmy. Meanwhile, I wake up tied to a stake, in front of a fuckton of pygmies, and a giant pygmy with tattoos.

>Unable to think of anything to get me out I watch carefully as they do some weird shit. Meanwhile, the bug man manages to talk to the pygmy through hand movements and learns about the camp. They head off, and start to scout the place, but hear a bush shake. The gentlemen inspects it, but the bugman just shoots, which leads to a bunch of dead pygmies,and one running off to the camp to alert them.

>Again meanwhile, i'm forced to create my lights for the pygmies, and I don't have a real reason why they wanted that, it was just weird. He sees the one pygmy enter, say something, which sets the big man off, and he sends all the pygmies to attack them. So the group turns and watches 200 pygmies charge them, to which, the bugman counter charges, murders a few, and get swarmed and carried off. Gets hogtied but is still trying to kill people.

>>51782504

>The Gentleman tries to swing at them, and gets a Nat 1, leading to him just surrendering, while the soldiers jump into the trees, and start to get away. The two captives get stuck on sticks next to their pall, and sit there for a tiny bit, until a lone pygmy appears, who also happens to be their friendly one. He says something to the big lad, and that starts the small ones off, which the big lad then agrees to, and has them cut down while he grabs his two fuck off clubs and he readies for combat.

>The Gentleman rolls insight, and sees he has 70 health, a nice ac, and a big strength. Our worries continue, but I decide to go off my first initiative, and start shooting with my shiny new sub-machine gun. This, turns out to be a 4d4 weapon, and the pygmy eats 12 damage. He then runs over and rams me, dropping me some health. The bug mans up next, and he rips into him for 18 damage, the Gentleman takes a swing and fails, and the soldiers, having circled back, drop from the trees, beat the disadvantage, and lay fire into the Pygmy, for more health off.

>The next move I miss my shot, hitting some of the sideline pygmies,and find out the secondary ability of this gun makes people explode if I get in the last shot, dealing damage to people nearby. The bug man goes next, dealing a heavy amount of damage, and this, causes the Pygmy to RAGE. He grabs the female soldier, chucks them away at a heavy speed, then double attacks the bug, knocking him out flat.

>>51782527
>Next turn I spray bullets at him, and use my medicine score and healing to bring him back awake, while the Gentleman (whose class gains bonuses when women are in danger and or something like that) deals some actual damage due to his abilities. Finally, the bug at three health, crits his attack roll, and rips the pygmy apart, showering blood and sending the pygmies running in fear.

>We all highfive on our new level, and check the pygmy, finding the belt he was wearing had translators on them. They then supplied them out (one to each ehad party member, and one to the pygmy), before breaking for camp in the night. That's all for now, but we have more stories from another campaign, and more planned out, so stay tuned.

>>51782541
.......... looking back at it now, it looks pretty shit, so if you have any advice, please do tell. And do post your fun stories as well, so this thread can continue