Vent thread

>>51668803
cont.

The other HM-lover is a gal who's also highly university-educated, and she's a lovely hostess whenever we play at her place, including making food or even baking treats. Suffers very minorly from being the sort of girl who grew up being pretty fucking goth. Fond of rp over crunch, but LOVES to roll up characters, and HM scratches that itch so well, or so she says.
She GM's another HM game, which I also play in, as well as Latinus Cretinus, and she plays in his game as well.

I also GM a HM game, on their asking, having taken over an All-evil campaign that their old GM ragequit from (he's an entire chapter in and of himself).
As an additional player, I also have a guy who, while a good guy IRL, he perfectly plays into Chaotic Neutral Bullshit territory, full of 'it's what my guy would do!', 'I'm just playing my character!' and arguing with me whenever I make a ruling not in his favor. Plus, he keeps practically worshiping the concept of 'lolchaoticrandumb' and keeps pretending all the evil shit he does is just being chaotic.

I'm not blameless either, of course, I'm a literal sperg with severe control freak tendencies.

>>51668809
>an All-evil campaign that their old GM ragequit from (he's an entire chapter in and of himself)

Let's hear it then.

>>51668803
It's pretty obvious the purpose of this thread is just for your storytime.

I mean, don't stop, but you're not fooling anybody.

>>51669016
Gladly.

Let's just anonymize him and call him Bob, because I suspect he's the sort of person who'll trawl /tg/ looking for support for his bad tendencies.

Bob is 30-something, fat, balding, depressed, and enlightened by his own intelligence.
He rarely comes by the FLGS, other than for his weekly game with a group that enjoys tormenting him by being a bunch of evil bastards IC, but he used to come around fairly frequently
As with the others, I still *like* the guy alright enough, but I'm severely suspecting he's got some form of the 'tism (speaking as someone actually diagnosed with Asperger's), to the point where he has severe problems recognizing that conversations have stopping points, or that people don't care about his tirade about how men are being super fucking oppressed by evul wimminz (Even if he's correct, he's presenting his case with less clarity and charisma than the fucking Unabomber), and he will not shut up about his atheism and superior intellect, constantly citing Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality and similar bullshit.

Whenever I visit Bob (once in a blue moon) - and I'm the only one who ever does - he's generally doing something with youtube vids of MGTOW shit blasting from his TV, never bothering to pause it or lower the volume.

Now, in-game, Bob only ever makes one character. Bob makes Bob as an Avatar for Bob, and Bob the Avatar will always be a Fabio-looking motherfucker who's supremely good-looking, straight, buff, but also learned and has no real flaws ever, and always tries to act as the team leader/face/dad, growing supremely exasperated when he can't.

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>>51669232
>he will not shut up about his atheism and superior intellect, constantly citing Harry Potter
>youtube vids of MGTOW shit blasting from his TV, never bothering to pause it or lower the volume.

>>51669030
Eh, I mean, sure, just didn't wanna make an entire thread just for my shitty blog, yanno.

>>51669232
cont.

I've played alongside Bob as a player twice, once in a DnD 5e campaign. He played one of those brainy clerics, which was fine as a concept, but there was something about the way he played it, like he had the snooty condescension of a scholarly egghead combined with being an indecisive fuck who couldn't settle on one god, and generally just kept playing his usual Bob the Avatar, because that's how he do.

He was fairly unobtrusive, given the other players, but god damn, he was somehow both in the background and at the same time in your face about how smart he supposedly was.
"Akshully..."

The second time was HackMaster, with him playing a guy who'd been a sergeant in some backwards military thing, but he'd mostly had a desk job and grown clever, but could totally hold his own in a fight, and had 18 in looks too, and no quirks or flaws.
Poor guy got gangbanged by leechmen.
Proceeded to roll up the same guy, this time as a mage (or fighter/mage, I can't recall), and picked up where he'd left off like he'd inserted another quarter into an arcade game.

>>51669410
Cont.

So we went dungeon crawling through some cave complex, because of course we did, and after a lot of complications (including my stick of an elf, with 2 str and 5 con, pink hair and albinism, being a stupid shit and getting himself eaten by giant beetles), we fought into the LBEG (Little Bad Evil Gal)'s lair - a hobbit mage of some description - and while she ran away, we fought some guard dogs.

Now, Bob decided he'd be special and tried to make a guard dog back down and adopt it, eventually succeeding after taking several wounds and bitching until Latinus Cretinus felt bad for him and let him get away with it, and he took the pupper with him as we went on to greener pastures and shinier exclamation points above peoples' heads, taking it to a doge trainer.

By the next couple of sessions he'd forgotten completely about the thing, and the session after that, he switched to a new character for some reason, who was simultaneously super annoying (hated everything and everyone, and managed it so well it looped from 'fun character trait' into 'why are we adventuring with you again?') and blank and boring as a bowl of rice crackers

>>51669504
Cont.

Anyhow, I also played with Bob as a DM once, during a HackMaster one-shot (which took two evenings).

He was using a module because he was new to DM'ing, which is fair, but he kept describing things only if they were described in the module, and couldn't even describe a completely normal thing if it wasn't in there. The few times he tried, he was stilted and awkward and kept going "Well you know in Skyrim...?" and when a couple of people in the group were like 'ain't never played Skyrim, cap'n', he was at a total loss.
We did not really go out of our way to make life difficult for him, but the guy was so rigid and so beholden to the details in the module that he couldn't bear to handle anything out of the ordinary.
So yeah, we got to this farm thing, me playing a Elf Cleric of the Patient Arrow (Long bow autists), and the others being a Grel Assassin (Backstory had her tied into mine, I having healed her from mortal wounds and her swearing a blood oath to me), a cowardly halfling Rogue and a PTSD straight white human male fighter, and we found a giant wicker man thing and nothing else.
We investigated the farm house and found lots of creepy shit, including a tentacle coming from under the bed to grab the human fighter
(Character limit)

>>51669232
>citing Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Kick him out, right now, before he tells you about the robot-devil in the future.

>>51669642
So, with some good rolls and ingenuity and spending Honor points, we manage to pull the guy out, but the tentacle won't let go, and when we strike it, it's like steel, and he gets GM fiated under nonetheless, disappearing.

Turns out the tentacle pulled him into the basement...? where we found a NOT AT ALL CONSPICUOUS OLD LADY OFFERING US PIE.
I, having actually prepared Detect Poison, snapped that off and was like "Yo, GM, that poison?"
He looked visibly perturbed "I...uh...yes?"
I gave my pet assassin the okay, and she shiv'd the old lady in the heart.
Sur-fucking-prise, the old lady was a ghoul in disguise who was trying to feed us human meat or something.
Now, the fucker messed up, or maybe the module did, and he gave the ghoul a banshee scream, which paralyzed us all for minutes on end.
Cue GM fiat'ing so we didn't wipe.

After an unsatisfying resolution, we made our way out of the farmhouse.
Tons of cultists gathered outside.
I see they're putting dudes in the wicker man.
I fail my religion check, but I know this shit is bad.
I 420 noscope the leader (because longbow autist), and suddenly we have ~20 crazy-ass cultists descending on our asses.
Through ingenuity and luck we all survive, the battle mostly being super fucking hellish because the guy gave every fucking cultist their own initiative, and constantly pausing to look shit up instead of winging it, and even then getting it wrong.

Then, when we're through it, he gives PTSD man a 'end game nao' button and PTSD man goes 'muh character' and ends the game, even though all our characters lived and we had plenty of time left for the objectives in the module.
If I had to sum him up in one word, it'd be Rigid.

>>51669719
Oh, Bob hasn't been in any group I've been affiliated with in fucking forever, in part due to being a fucking creepo/dick to ex-goth baker girl, acting like a little bitch with PMS and being snippy and vindictive when she made an unfavorable ruling towards his character when he was in her game (in HackMaster, of all games, where it's a LITERAL RULE to always rule in a player's disfavor).

>>51669721
>>51669642

That Guy and That DM. Sad that there's no niche for him at all. He should stick to vidya.

I hate everyone

>>51669818
Yeah, I don't hate Bob or anything - I find him kind of like a three-legged puppy, more worthy of my pity than scorn.
Sadly, even prolonged RPG experience hasn't had him develop anything at all (which is saying something, I remember being told very actively I was getting better at RP while playing alongside him, and in other groups).
He plays a lot of vidya, but I get the sense he's not super content with just that, maybe he really does want to get better at RP and social interaction and whatnot, but he seems to have no filter and no social awareness at all, and he's so deeply passionate about what he sees as crimes against men or whatever his pet alt-right cause is today.

So, people want more stories?

I've got stuff concerning Mr. Hollywood, The Hawaiian, The Dumbass newb and Stabby-stab McRandom, which, if any, y'all want first?

>>51669992
Let's hear Mr. Hollywood

>>51670070
Alright.
Mr. Hollywood (Let's call him Dave for short) doesn't live here anymore, but during the year or so he lived here (student city), he was an interesting fella to say the least.
Dave straddles the line between normie and nerd. He's a husky fella, but he keeps his beard well-trimmed and stays clean, and he's got a sense of humor (boy, does he fucking ever), and he's got kind of a perverse charisma about him (I can't think of a better way to put it).
Dave is an extrovert. He loves the sound of his own voice, from his fondness for talking and never stopping to his tendency to break out into song as if he were a pastel-colored equine - and mind, he's taken years and years of choir practice, he's got a voice like an angel.
Dave can be a little obnoxious, but a really good guy.
However.
The reason I call him Mr. Hollywood is thusly.
I don't know if it's because he grew up bullied or something, but Dave likes to think of himself as a Main Character (TM), even The Chosen One if allowed such. He'll write page upon page of excessively-detailed backstory, and play his character to the fucking hilt, always going to the extreme.
Luckily, his natural charisma does often make it so people don't get the urge to slap him.
However, he's pretty new to TTRPGs, and thinks the DM is basically a director to give out plot armor so his character arc can reach its conclusion, or to bend over backwards to give him a full retinue of NPCs and the like.

That's about all about him, he never did anything that stuck out as notable, except try to really push the rule of cool because he'd seen it on Critical Role.