>your party arrives in a village and see this What do?

360 and moonwalk dick copter the flippity fuck away.

>>51663954
I nope out and call the inquisition or settings equivalent

"did we just accidentally walk in a circle?"

My paladin pulls out his sword and holds up his holy symbol and starts trying to fix shit.

Congratulate the dm for being so descriptive

>>51663954
bitchslap the GM, because he put in everything a riddle, puzzle or meme.

>>51663954
Why the fuck did we think going to Florida was a good idea?

File: Hieronim-Bosch-Tysiącletnie-królestwo-fr.jpg (225KB, 1000x748px) Image search: [Google]

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>tfw you go to the heaven but it's not like you've imagined

>>51664919
Those birds are as big as a tree!

>>51663954

>that asshole sheering a pig

We just found our new party member.

What seems to be the problem OP, village seems to have a yummy surplus of wild pigs that the elder could gainfully employ us to take off their hands. Even the minor gremlin is already wrapped up by the milkmaid. Maybe the party alchemist can even make some side scratch with a brisk trade in unuglify potions.

Assuming every village doesnt look like that

>>51663954
>that one guy who is about to stab the fuck out of that wall

>>51663954
what the fuck is going on with these peasants? also what's that thing on the lower left corner?, and why that fox at the center has such good manners?, and why that guy is getting himself inside a glass ball?... too many questions, so little answers

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>>51663954
From the thumbnail I thought it was this one

>>51665974
now that town looks like it needs some heroes

Well the guy levitating the orb is clearly in charge and also psychic, so we go ask what in the living fuck is going on.

>>51666125
>implying it's not what the heroes left

>>51664111
Kek

Alas! We have run our head against a wall. Most quests that these NPCs could give us have already been completed. They needed someone to take the hot hazelnuts from the fire and to bind a bell around a cat's neck -- in short, we're fishing behind the net! For saving the calf, I guess, we are also late -- its owner is already filling the well in which it has drowned...

But luckily, those two dogs are fighting for a bone -- maybe we can run away with it. And that guy who's feeding flowers to his pigs -- maybe we can convince him to give us his pearls, before he throws them to the swine.

>>51663954
Genocide whito piggu

>>51663954
Did women really cover their hair all the time? The only who doesn't is the red one in the center and I'm guessing she's either a woman of little virtue or she's loaning her blue coat.

>>51663954
put on my MAGA hat and blend in

Give it a strong 9 and Best New Village

>>51663954
>"I call dibs on any roof pie that man doesn't shoot."
>"I'm gonna go help that lady strangle the demon."
>"I'm-a catch me that giant fish."
>"THAT ORNATELY DECORATED ORB IS CLEARLY AN ARTIFACT OF IMMENSE POWER AND I WILL SEIZE IT FROM THAT FINELY-DRESSED MAN AT ONCE!"

Burn the ergot-contaminated grain supply then withdraw until the townsfolk come down from their highs.

>>51666154
He's all like "Okay, guys? Can I have a minute of your attention please? I'm performing a fucking miracle over here. "

>>51663954
>This must be the work of an enemy mage

>>51666617
Reminder shampoo and piped water didn't exist yet, it was more convenient for working folk to beat the dust off a wool cap, hang it up and put in on the next day than washing hair and body daily.

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>>51664502

"Goeiedag, heb je nog meer wiet?"

>>51666809
>Askew Adam's globe tricks are old season, he has nothing on the crumpetmancer
--heard on the village green

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>>51663954

>>51663954
The guy halfway inside the sphere looks like he's having a good time. I wonder what's in there.

>>51663954
Holland before EU
>>51665974
After EU

>>51663954
Is that guy in the center giving a blowjob to a demon?

>>51663954
"Huh.... someone beat us to it."

>>51663954
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netherlandish_Proverbs#List_of_proverbs_and_idioms_featured_in_the_painting

In case anyone was wondering wtf is going on.

>>51663954
there is a fucking eye right on a wall. this whole village is unclean. purify it.

>>51663954
I was following the
I was following the
I was following the

>a homeless guy having his fish and xylophone stolen by an even more homeless guy
>a woman with a broken neck strangling a pig demon
>one guy literally just walking into a fucking wall
>niggas castrating goats
>a couple making out above a guy dropping a knife-on-a-rope onto another guy stealing playing cards
>another guy burying a live deer
>a guy using an axe to iron his wife's dress in their house in the middle of the river
>a guy chasing his pigs into the wheat fields while a bird emerges from hibernation in his asshole
>a guy throwing shards of glass out of a basket at the guy who's trying to fuck a donkey
>two dudes fighting over a piece of white string
honestly I'd go join the guy in the boat he's just about as done with this town as I am

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> DEUS VULT! AVE MARIA!

What is supposed to be going on in this picture?

>>51670612
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netherlandish_Proverbs

Literal interpretations of proverbs. First result on google.

>>51663954
Take advantage of the chaos to nick any unattended small valuables.

>>51663954
OLIVER JAMES, WASHED IN THE RAIN
NO LONGER

>>51667454
Thank you.

The part I take issue with is the rate of fire of the crossbow.
There is no way it could shoot that fast. Even repeater crossbows could not follow a bolt so quickly. Either the artist is a moron or has never actually seen a crossbow or weapons in reality and considering this was probably painted by a medieval monk that's likely.
You would need superhuman speed to even achieve anything close to this rate of fire. It is also historically inaccurate because crossbows did not shoot feathered arrows they shot bolts that had no feathers. Shit like this just makes me so mad.

>>51671075

There's obviously some kind of witchcraft going on there, so I don't think it's impossible by any means.

Get the hell out before the stupidity affects us too, it's clearly some sort of magical curse at work.

>>51663954
I try to spot all the medieval dutch proverbs.

>>51671075
The first bolt got already stuck in the roof. The guy just shot another one to find the first.
And the artist actually knew his shit. He was known to dress up as a poor to observe the every day life.

>>51673944
Monks didn't go amongst the poor, but I don't think that's the point. What I find annoying is that its so historically inaccurate.

>>51673978
He wasn't a monk, he was a painter by trade.
It's not inaccurate if the bolt is lodged in a tile. It cold have been shot twenty seconds before, five minutes or a week.
Not to mention that it's the least disturbing thing on the painting.

>>51674041
Forget the bolt. The whole painting is historically inaccurate.

>>51673852
Holy shit, these are Dutch proverbs!

>>51665851
Got you covered on the fox

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Stork

>>51664919
>Token black girl in heaven

IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD!

>>51666498
What the fuck. Slow down with the platitudes, Sancho Panza. Jesus.

>>51664919
>everyone's naked
>having a good time
>even that one faggot gets to live out his fetish of having flowers stuck in his ass, so getting kinky is obviously OK
Nah, looks like heaven to me. The only unexpected thing is those huge-ass birds, wtf?

>>51666697
Oh god, I legitimately lol'd. Can totally hear this from my group.

>>51663954
>So we finally return. I see the mess we made last time hasn't been cleaned up.

>>51674051
It was painted in the time it depicts.

>>51674806
There is very little or no archaeological evidence for several of the things depicted. Are you telling me that people back then routinely butted their heads against a wall or bit into pillars? Not to mention the so-called fox.

>>51674923
Have you managed to miss both wikipedia links that explain all this?

>>51674923
The woman strangling the demon in the lower left seems pretty accurate to me. I'm pretty sure I read in a history book about women strangling demons left and right in the middle ages. It was all the rage, before the Spanish Inquisition came along and started hogging all the fun for themselves.

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>>51663954
Phoneposter here. This guy is my spirit guide.

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>>51663954
>"I want normies to leave"

>>51663954
I'd be amazed if a GM conveyed that many choices to players by description alone.

Everything in a Bruegel painting looks so quest-worthy... But I'd probably see what sphere bro is doing in the bottom center.