Monster Hearts

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>>51577957
>How can I possibly take this game seriously?
I recommend that you don't even try and instead use the system for something that spits in the very face of what it was intended fo-
>I have to play it with my sister-in-law's group of pansexual polysexual lovers who are super into the idea
Oh, wait, this is just bait.

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I mean, look at this shit.

>>51577957
Remember /pol/'s analysis of Steven Universe? Or Furry Rape planet, or the Fur-Heresy? That.

>>51577957
>How the hell am I supposed to get through an entire game of this bullshit?
Get really, really, high. That or fake sickness of some sort. Or tell them that you feel uncomfortable about playing this game. Or if you don't like them and are a sadist, bring homemade brownies filled with laxatives and give it to them. The game will be cancelled within 30 to 45 minutes.

>>51577988
You have no idea how much I wish I was baiting you, anon.

They call themselves the "polycule". The last time they had us over for their game night, we had to stop in the middle of "Two Rooms and a Boom" to re-write all the names of the roles to be gender-neutral.

>>51578022
Well, I still think you're baiting, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. As I was saying, create a character that just spits in the face of what the system was intended for. I recommend a relatively cheery ghoul whose hunger is for sweet pastries, so he's constantly shoving his face full of doughnuts. He came into his situation by eating a cursed Danish or something silly like that.

>>51577995
>/pol/'s analysis of Steven Universe?
That actually sounds like a fun read, got a link?

>>51578022
If it were me... Do something like send them on a mission to kill Hitler. Then give them actual Nazis to deal with. Homophobic, Racist, Jingoist Nazis. Get them really invested in hating them. Given them a good time with a villain they can hate.

And then at the end of the session drop a large explosive on them, kill them all, pack up, and just walk away.

God I sound way too much like /pol/ when I'm telling someone to be an asshole.

>>51578107
Sadly, I don't think OP is the GM on this one.

>>51577957
Heavy drinking.

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>>51578148
Nope. I have to pick one of these Stephanie Meyer rejects to play.

>>51578203
Just be silly, OP. They won't like it one bit when you treat their game like it's a silly affair, and if they threaten "be serious or we'll kick you out", then leave. Mission accomplished

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Faggot OP aside, I would love to play this game

>>51578229
This is what every part of me wants to do, but I don't actually want to ruin the game. They found something that makes them happy, good for them. Good for those sad people. They just got me involved now, because they got my wife to DM so they can all play.

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>>51578246
>I would love to play this game

>>51577989
>make Fae character
>pick Anders as the name
>choose Adopted as the origin
>play Anders from Dragon Age 2
>blow it all up

>>51577957
>I have to play it
>Have to
Like at gun point?
Don't worry anon I've contacted the FBI. I'm sure they'll be there to rescue you soon

Is this the new Wraeththu?

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>>51577957
>how can i possibly take this game seriously? Its just fantasy trope after fantasy trope. It reads like a parody of shitty tolkien fanfiction. I can't believe this is a real game, and I have to play it with my brother-in-law's group of nerdbro coworkers who are super into the idea. How the hell am I suppose to get through an entire game of this bullshit?

Alternatively don't get cucked into playing a game you don't like with people you don't like. Its really easy not to do, just say its not your thing. People can have different things.

>>51578574
Nah, OP makes this thread every couple of months. He'll make about 4-5 more posts, then get bored with the lack of replies, and then we can have a regular Monsterhearts thread.

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>>51578574
Man. Oh, man.

I once played a 4e game in a DM's homebrew setting, where he and his boyfriend made a race based on porting over Wraeththu.

The best part is none of us (except me) knew anything about Wraeththu, and the race was such a slow-built, subtle knockoff that I didn't get it until about five sessions in.

The guy who had been playing a Wraeththu bard for two months at that point wasn't exactly thrilled at the revelation.

>>51577957
Myohemoal Romane?

>>51578574
I regret googling that.

>>51578368
this guy gets it

>>51578863
>The guy who had been playing a Wraeththu bard for two months at that point wasn't exactly thrilled at the revelation.
I feel sorry for him. The rage and disgust he must of felt, must of been very painful for him.

>>51578278
Just tell them that it's not your deal and opt out. You'll only ruin the game by playing and not wanting to be there.

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>>51578997

Dude found a reason to kill off his character the first chance he got. It was actually pretty funny how the character's personality suddenly flipped from "generally ambivalent jackass bard" to "on a holy mission to kill myself" mid-session.

He ended up playing a human (the only core race allowed) assassin after that and mercilessly trolled the DM, which the rest of the party aside from the DM's boyfriend wholly supported.

It was an incredibly railroad-y game, anyhow. One of those games where the only fun to be had was making every attempt to jump the tracks and watching the gymnastics reality itself would pull to drag us back onto them.

>>51578682
I came here looking for this post, and was glad I found it.