Cringy creations

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on the note of cringe, anyone got a link to the page previewing/reviewing that shitshow of a femenist tabletop? you know the one.

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>>51520473
Absolutely everything.

>>51520473
Drow Ranger mercenary that was all about "surface bitches know their place, surface is awesome"

>>51520473
My worst so far has been the entire start of my first homebrew campaign. Like five sessions that were just really slow and dull.
Seems stupid to cringe at but really they were horrible and I thank every god and demon there has ever been that a couple players have stuck through it to now. When the game is stupid still, but now amazingly so.

>>51520473
Back in the day, when I first learned about RPGs, I looked at them, found them wanting, and so I made an RPG system.

First of all, I liked the concept of stats, but it seemed unrealistic. So I split them. I had 16.
Dexterity and Agility were separate. Consitution and Stamina (i think) were separate. There were Intellect, Wits, Wisdom and Cunning. I had Resolve (formerly Willpower, until I saw it used as resource in WoD), Composure and Courage.

From them I derived resources - health, mana, willpower, sanity, energy. The way those derived was absolutely byzantine, making stats absolutely unbalanced. Resolve gave basically all resources, was used to cast spells, etc., because I liked the idea of heroes powering though anything on sheer willpower.

Then I decided hit points was a stupid and outdated mechanic, so now each wound taken would be a separate entry with its own bleeding speed, stat penalties, etc. Hit Points were replaced with Blood, which served exact same purpose.

Then came weapons' turn. Oh-ho-ho. Slashing, stabbing and crushing you say? But a knife cuts differently than an axe, and those two differently than a sawblade, and all three differently than a scimitar.
So I split it.
I had cutting damage (like a knife slowly moving through matter), hewing (quick and heavy, can damage enemies you normally need crushing damage against), slashing (quick light surface cut, like a scimitar or a whip) and ripping (like a jagged blade, a saw or any spiked weapons, unless those spikes stab. yep.)
And THEN I got my hands on Dark Heresy and saw the crit tables. Yep.
So I started making tables for regular wounds. For each body part, for each damage type, planning to expand to armour types and combined damage types (a flaming sword should hit differently than just a sword or just a fireball, don't you agree?)

Oh, and I liked tables. Very much. Especially random tables. So I made a shitton of them for everything. Gygax would've found it excessive.

Cont.

All of my RPG characters have been a combination of wish-fulfilment and magical realm. Everything I've written creatively has been horrible messes of purple prose and overwrought melodrama. And there's the poetry and song lyrics which, incomprehensibly, are much much worse than that. Even college projects where I've worked alone without anyone to reel me in have come off laughably bad, a combination of inexperience and lacking resources patched together in a shoddy mess. I'm done trying to create anything. My chuuni autism just won't go away and it corrodes everything it touches, as if I'm some kind of Nurglite Midas. I wish that I could take everything back and erase it from history, but I have to live with the awareness that I can never atone.

Then I saw D&D 4th ed. and decided to make skills for every weapon (my system was classless). Then I added fighting schools and more skills. Then I saw idea of skill variants in some vidya - basically, a skill modified to have additional effects to give players more flexibility - and added that. AND it all rested on a completely byzantine stat system even I got lost in.

And name, names for skills and feats. I just grabbed every cool name from every RPG and vydia I could find. And I based skills and feats mainly on those names instead of usability and balance. "Oh, that names sounds cool, can't leave it out, so I'll just make a feat that adds +1 to hit".
And other skills and feats were based on absolutely horrible animesque moves from fighting games and MMOs. Yeah.

So what? Ooooh, but the system was supposed to be used for horror gaming, not epic dungeon crawling. I liked lovecraft, so it was all intended for horror gaming. In medieval time, since I like fantasy. With steampunk. And ancient technology, so as not to leave cool sci-fi stuff out... yeah.

Then I got around to making magic system for it, and here I'll stop, 'cos the cringe is overwhelming me. Let's just say I took the idea of spellweaving a bit too literally and too far, and so it became a mix-and-match subgame, where you had to choose a basic effect, then whether to chant the words, scribe them in runes, etc, then what compatible foci and/or material components to use, and then whether you wanted to mix that, and tables for various combinations... yeah.

Here's a short list of other stuff I added because I jsut wanted to:
personal stories+quests+feats rolled into one thing, like in arkham horro
crafting
followers
a massive table of diseases, poisons, mutations, insanities and curses

I stopped when I learned about game Achron, and decided the game should run simultaneously in past and in the future, which two being intertwined, and connected... then even I gave up and looked back and cringed hard.

>>51520768
is supposed to be Cont. of >>51520652

And yes, I did try it on some guinea pigs, that is my friends. No, it didn't work for a moment.

>>51520768
L-link I mean it sounds pretty terrible but I want to see.

>>51520879
I think I got parts of it left on my hard drive. It was in multiple excel docs, paper scribbles, etc. Will upload what I can find to google docs and post when I get home.

>>51520652
>>51520768
>>51520777
oh, and last thing - I used horrible, horrible fonts. Lucida Blackletter, Old English Gothic, Chiller... nice when used in small amounts. Horrible when used to type EVERYTHING in them.

>>51520991
Sounds dreadful. I love it. Did you ever get around to creating major figures in the setting, or deities? I'd love to hear about those.

>>51520991
Everyone with even minor aspirations for game design goes through this once. It's like a rite of passage. Hell, if it was d20 (it sounds like the type of system that'd go into dicepools after a while) it could join the ranks of many other d20 heartbreakers.

>>51521003
oh no, just like bits of the system I pilfered stuff from other sources. characters were blatant expies with serial numbers sawed off - I made a medieval steampunk Hitman expy for a buddy to play - but the deities were just a mix of sumerian and lovecraftian.

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Did this about 20 years ago, but I still cringe every time I even think about it, as it was so steeped in magical realm that I still wonder what I was thinking.

>Scarlet Nightshade Fortress-Academy (or rather "Festungsakademie der Scharlachroten Nachtschatten" in the original German)
Basically, it was a magic academy that raised nothing but indoctrinated female assassins.
Said teenage assassins would go on missions completely in the nude except for magical bodypaint done up in camo patterns and magical items and weapons in the form of anklets, earrings and such.
Oh, did I mention that it was in a fairly low-magic setting?

Crunch-wise they had outrageous boni on everything, taken from various other classes and turned up to insane levels, coupled with a spell selection with a ton of elite spells and free magic gear from level 1.
I honestly expected my players to play these girls willingly. I even made an entire campaign set at the school, with floorplans and everything, to cover the players' life before 'graduation'.
Thank fuck I never actually went through with that nonsense. I mean, I was 13 at the time, but still...

>>51521173
What inspired these deadly streakers, anon?

>>51521217
puberty

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Long ago in high school me and my circle of autismo nerd friends decided it'd be a lovely idea to make a web series. As was the style at the time it was meant to be an RPG parody - or, to put it more accurately, a shameless 8-Bit Theater ripoff. It featured, in no particular order–
• four blundering protagonists all based on the same joke- they're awful at what their class is supposed to be good at
• a character who communicates via emoticons ;)
• a character who wears a metal band closed with a padlock over his eyes
• a character who has a scarf several times longer than his body
• an unironic trenchcoat-wearing, keyblade-dual-wielding, Light-and-Dark magic powered brooding antihero OC
• a duel between Sephiroth and Pikachu
• copious use of the word "badass"
• copious use of the number 666
• 1337speak
• Phoenix Down jokes
• Mr. T

Luckily the only thing more powerful than our autism was our ADHD, and we never managed to get any farther than a pair of schizophrenic scripts, some whiplash-inducing concept art and a few half-assed sprite edits that are with any luck lost to time. Imagining the web footprint we might have left still gives me chills.

>>51521292
>a duel between Sephiroth and Pikachu
I see nothing wrong with that.

>>51521173
Oh shit. This actually IS some good quality cringe. Well done.

The cringiest thing I did when I was 13 years old was a shitty comic about a group of young friends with superpowers (think about x-men mashed up with WoD). The main character was a strange girl named Eve that wanted to kill and sacrifice in a ritual all the airhead girls that were dressing in pink. The thing is she hadn't any personality at all and was somehow a main character, while all the other characters were much more realistic and interesting. Oh, and her soon-to-be boyfriend was a borderline fedora guy (and also a GM of the group), what is interesting because I had no idea about fedoras.
I'm glad that almost no one saw that crap.

>>51521292
>a character who wears a metal band closed with a padlock over his eyes
A slave collar is supposed to be around your neck, dummy.

Overall cringe level 6.5/10, you're getting there but it's not the worst. Wait, it's high-school idea, so 7/10, but I still see the possibility it becomes so bad it's good. Also >>51521305

>>51520473
All my creations are cringy. My current game has the second and third most cancerous races from FFXIV as the most prominent nonhumans, the vast majority of NPCs the party interacts with are based on video game characters and internet femboys I've masturbated to in the last couple of years, and the plot is basically "what if King Arthur was the baddie in Deus Ex".

I like building good machines out of awful parts.

>>51520479

You mean that one that had wizards fighting the patriarch? Remember that one.

As cringy as it can get.

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> tfw literally made a scantily clad twi'lek slave

>>51521592
I see nothing wrong with this

>>51521592
That's normal.

>>51521537
>the vast majority of NPCs the party interacts with are based on (...) internet femboys I've masturbated to in the last couple of years
Wew lad

>>51521592
that's perfectly fine

>>51521592
Twi'Leks were made for fucking

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>>51521601
>>51521611
>>51521631
I'm not finished.
> tfw she wore a shock collar, and her owner, the party's sith, had the remote

>>51521677
There's nothing wrong with it

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>>51521616

>>51521677
That's how you play a female twi'lek.

>>51521677
The line between hot and cringy is whimsical and flimsy, but you haven't crossed it yet.

>>51521677
I didn't know there was a Star Wars edition of Catan!

>>51520479
>>51521576

Now you got me curious

>>51521305
>>51521525
Pikachu won.
Then Sephiroth was allowed to come back because he convinced Satan he was too badass to die, but he had to find an equally badass body to possess.
It was Trenchcoat McKeyblade

>>51521792
okay, now I cringed

kudos to Pikachu though, I was betting on him

>>51520479
>>51521756
This?
http://projects.inklesspen.com/fatal-and-friends/adnachiel/witch-girls-adventures/
http://projects.inklesspen.com/fatal-and-friends/kurieg/bellum-maga/

>>51521592

Male or female?

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>>51520473
How does it feel to be part of the cancer?

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>>51521848

>>51521814

You really shouldn't read any of that and drink coffee at the same time like I did.

>>51521848
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-WPlvZguZ4

>>51521848
I always loved a good cringe, and now I have tools to track it and measure it. We truly live in horrific times.

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My cringiest creation is pretty much me doing everything you shouldn't - a Jack of all trades self-insert (Written off as a descendant) GMPC, with a tragic backstory, that I GM'ed myself through my own campaign when I got bored and thought my players weren't going to come back the following summer.

...But on the other hand, every now and again I'll go back to that character and nostalgia about my early table-topping days where I had only two sets of dice, some second-hand ebay'd rulebooks, and nobody to play with but half-motivated highschool friends.

So it's embarrassing to show to others, but kind of cozy to reminisce on. It was less being cringy, more going in almost blind to what an RPG should be like and/or still being heavily influenced by JRPG concepts.

>>51521814
this reminds of RHL or whatever it's called. same level of unfunny cringe

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>>51521882
>>51521856
OP, and everyone else who uses cringe seriously, are part of the new cancer calling everything "cringy" or "cringe" like fucking children who learned a new word.

>>51521950
OP here
english is my second language, and I learned that word not so long ago, when I started lurking on 4chan
there's no exact direct translation into my first language

what i'm trying to say, you're not wrong
but there's nothing wrong with that

>>51520473
First forum roleplay character. First she was female. Second she was of a really edgy breed of semi demonic elves from that specific forum that could litteraly mind fuck people. Third she had two personalities, one nice and naive, the second sadistic and cruel. And finally both her personalities hooked up with a different guy, the nice one with a water mage, the second with a werewolf (other PCs)

Oh and also at one point the nice one was destroyed by trying too hard to get her lover's mind to come back from evil. And the evil one became a werewolf.

I was 12.

>>51520473

My first forays into RP were freeform. My creations were horrible.

The one that first comes to mind was from a campaign where the players were supposed to be travelling around, deactivating factories that were pumping various aspects of the world full of pollutants - the Air Factory released smog, the Water Factory spewed sludge into the oceans, the Earth Factory poisoned the land, and the Spirit Factory did some shit that made people assholes.

The main character (in Freeform RP this was ALWAYS a GMPC) was a nondescript Inuyasha style "human but stronger" demon, so I decided I would also play a nondescript Inuyasha style demon, who had abilities that I kept essentially pulling out of my ass. These abilities include:

-The ability to teleport by stepping through shadows
-Tendrils that could pop out of his wrists, which he used to grab, impale or eat people with (they had their own mouths)
-The ability to manipulate raw magical energy and fire it in beams, or form into a shield around him
-Ludicrous strength, enough to use a 1,000 pound sword, half-assedly justified by saying that his "species" of nondescript Inuyasha demon had carbon-nano fibers woven into their musculature.
-Nearly impenetrable skin, justified by his species having a layer of subdermal bone acting as armor. Also their bones were laced with carbon nanotubes.
-Teleportation magic that allowed him to return to any place he'd been before, and to take a group of people with him
-Angel wings, because he was half-angel.
-A pair of Desert Eagles.

I'm sure I could remember more if I thought about it more but I really don't want to.

>>51520473
Fuck this thread, I regret NOTHING. It's all been fun in one way or another. I've made progress in terms of quality of writing since my first ventures as a GM, so what? Nobody starts out perfect. And I still love my earliest adventures and remember all of them extremely fondly.

>>51521950
It's just a meme word. You haven't seen real cancer if that bothers you.

>>51522054
Second this. When I recall my first attempts, I feel no shame but genuine fun. Or maybe it just me still being that autistic.

>>51520473
Back when I was 16 I think
>Vampire the Masquerade
>Want to play a blind Salubri
>Create a story in where my happily married lawyer in the 30s is caught in a hunt between a Salubri and the rest of vampires of the city. His Sire, a persecuted Salubri that has been affected by Dementation, tortures him and blinds him before turning him
>Saved by a Malkavian, responsible of the dementation, who takes him as his and lies to the prince about it
>Now I'm a Salubri, even though everybody thinks I'm a blind Malkavian who works as a lawyer and gets the help of his, unknowlingly, greatdaughter (police inspector) from time to time
It reeks Mary Sueism and Special Snowflakiness

>>51522102
so you were basically vampire Loki from MCU?

>>51522125
I don't get the reference

This was a freeform Pokemon RP:

Basically, the setup was that humans fucked up the planet and left. Decades later, groups were sent back to set up settlements and rebuild society. Everyone in the game was supposed to be in one of these settlements and the entire game was probably going to happen in and around this settlement. Enter my character:

>16
>From some not!Sparta town where everyone is named after Greek letters and a rite of passage is to go out into the wild and catch a Pokemon with your bare hands.
>Scars on back from frequent whipping by his "father"
>Moved to town where the game takes place for some reason, I think he was supposed to steal something or sabotage it
>While there, he frequents the local bar. Nobody questions this because he "looks so mature."
>Personality was classic edgy/angsty mix of "I'm super cold and serious and YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!1!"

During the course of the game, one of the players (I think it was the GM) decided to have his own edgy backstory take place where his parents got killed and his house got burned down. I decided that my character's "father" was the perpetrator and that my character was going to be framed for the murder. My character was then arrested, sentenced to death on the spot, and tried to incite revolt over the injustice of it all as he was dragged from the courtroom. Of course he escaped during his execution, beat up a few guards, and made a break for it. I decided he was going to go on a quest to his hometown to find answers and somehow ended up convincing two other players to go with me. This might have been a cool adventure/derailment of whatever plot was supposed to happen if it weren't for the fact that people stopped posting at around this point.

>>51520473
I decided I really just didn't give a fuck about being unique anymore and hammered as many different cliches as I could into the world I used to play in and now DM for before subverting and manipulating them in various ways to create a quasi-original setting. I don't even know if it's awful or good any more, and part of me just doesn't care because I can just explain, fix, or laugh at all the sucky bits.
Highlights include
>Super-powerful NPC put in by the previous DM is actually an amnesiac solar god who was the one that granted the current pantheon their powers
>My ex-player character, a male human fighter who tried to be a hero and failed miserably, is now a major setting villain (think Zelgius+Darth Vader), who works for the stereotypical LE wolf devil god
>Chaotic Evil goddess of chaos (big surprise) is actually the origin of all the magic in the setting, which is why she was sealed away rather than banished when she threatened to cause the apocalypse. She actually turned evil because she hates elves, orcs, and wizards (which didn't exist in the setting before the elves and orcs showed up). Pretty much what happened is that everyone voted to change the setting's magic to Vancian magic so that elves and orcs could use it, she never managed to overturn it, and eventually threw a bitchfit because she hated Vancian magic.
>Aforementioned Fighter's daughter is actually the perfect vessel for the CE goddess and was kidnapped at birth, raised as the princess of the archetypical 'evil' kingdom, innocent to virtually everything going on around her, thinks the CE goddess is in the right due to lack of knowledge, has nearly supreme insight due to her blessing by the goddess of magic
>A sentient greatsword in the service of the goddess of chaos, causes visions and hallucinations in its wielder, drove one guy insane to the point where he became a villain
>Gave a throwaway villain some serious backstory and brought him back as a vampire

my first RPG character, on some rule-less forum RPG. I was maybe 14.

I made a druid. I already heard about mary sues, so I decided to give myself a disadvantage - I wasn't god-tier fencer. Just good.

When we went to a dungeon, I reasoned that as a druid I can command earth itself, and so I commanded a cavern full of enemies just cave in instantly. That dungeon run ended rather quickly, since there were three of us, including the DM, and we all were shameless mary sues.

In addition, being my first RPG, I had real trouble roleplaying, but didn't break character, resulting in some very crappy dialogues.

It's a pain to remember.

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>>51520473
I made and ran a whole online text-based Transformers rpg when I was 14, complete with edgy Decepticon donutsteel.

It was on BZP, though, so the one savings grace is that in a well of faggotry that runs that deep, it was just another drop in the bucket.

>>51521677
>all these replies
the only twi lek in the original trilogy is one that protests sexual slavery and dies for it

>>51522064
I'm not that guy but the word cringe has some serious value to describe something, and degrading that word over the course of a year is a real shame.

>>51522611
serves her right for trying to overthrow the natural order

>>51522628
nah jabba was a fat cunt

>>51521950
>started rising mid-2015
>nearly two years ago
>new
???

I once tried to play a freeform game based off of a CYOA.

>>51520768
>>51520652
Sounds awesome,I'd play it.

I statted the entire cast of My Little Pony as interdimensional anthromorphic mercenaries in RIFTS. And by all I mean ALL, however many there were at the time.

>>51520768
When are we to see the next edition of Rolemaster?

>>51520652
>>51520768
I want to see it for the sake of having it, just in case there's a hidden gem in there.
Loads and loads of tables are fun as hell if you use them well.

Does it count if it's only semi-RPG related and, despite being cringeworthy, I still do it?

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>>51520733
Even your post was melodramatic

I began worldbuilding by doing freeform RPs why my friends before I even knew RP was a thing. Usually it devolved in some caotic debate over who got to be what character, until the day I decided to have my friends play. I at least had the good sense to remain a GM and only play NPCs.

It was a SF setting. My friends' adventures began when a living planet crushed their ship in it's tectonic jaws. The planet, Mutrax, as I called it, was inhabited by bizzare creatures: The surface civilization were crysatline aliens with tentacles, legs that would fit Chewbacca and a head that looked like an elaborate ebony sculpture. The inner part of the planet was inhabited by multi-limbed horrors. The planet was a grimdark version of "Once Upon a Time... Life".
The universe also featured a hive mind race which could only do a single thing at a time, resulting in billions doing the exact same gesture or speaking at the same time. One of my players became a galactic emperor, fathered a myriad children (they became known as the Thousand Sons...), discovered he was the last of his kind (he digested stuff through a miniature black hole), designed android teachers for the sole purpose of having them spell out words in dictations (we had trouble with tildes)...
There was also a race of sentient automata which inhabited an artificial galaxy, as in a galaxy-sized machine. They also devoted thousands of years to study before moving on to duties such as exploring the universe uplifting or eliminating entire civilisations.

To my defense, I was 12 to 14 at the time.

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>>51520473
Once, me and two of my friends decided that we were going to do some character insertion into fiction. Now, keep in mind we were in middle school, which is the dregs of humanity, but we decided that a campaign in which we inserted a drow party into Menzoberranzan to follow the adventures of Drizz't would be just great.

Ironically, it remains my favorite campaign I've ever played. We played all our drow as the team rocket to Drizz't's heroism, complete with absurd over the top contraptions that explode at a moment's notice. My favorite was rigging up the corpse of a Glabrezeau with liberal use of Animate Rope to pretend that we were great necromancers of power, and not a party of barely functional second level drow.

>>51524187
Most of that is pretty good. Your problem is that you packed all of it into a single setting.

>>51521173

do you still have the campaign notes? scan and share!

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>>51521292
Homestuck?

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>>51520473
>pic
After one day, he should've remade it and kept all that was good. Then he should've kept doing that every day until only the good was left and then he could've enjoyed it for a lifetime.
But instead, he couldn't comprehend the ideas of improving and self-critique. So sad.

>>51521950
>new
>everyone and their mother have been using the term for a few years now

Now if you said cuk, that I'd get, because it's a word that usually you only hear in Shakespeare. But cringe is still a word that's legitimately used in common language, so it's not surprising that people will start using something descriptively - if something makes me cringe, it is cringe-y.

>>51520473
Well... my second roleplay character was an alu-fiend I played on some forum with equally young people. She was the rape daughter of a succubus and an elven mage who had cursed her mother and her because he had been raped (I thought female-on-male rape was angsty yet original, you see).
She was a 14 years old blademaster, altough I took some pride then in her having her ass kicked fairly often, so she wasn't the invincible kind of Mary-Sue, just... all over the place in terms of angst and weird sexual stuff a 13 years old who reads too much finds cool.
Then I got bored of the absolutely massive piles of drama she generated, and created her cambion brother, a pacifist whose sole ambition was to raise chickens. He was not devoid of angsty sides either, but I remember him with far more fondness.

>>51527603
Not like it changes anything, but it is a she.

>>51527961
I was unsure, but I decided to write "he" because if I wrote "she" I would have gotten a bunch of ">she" replies

>>51522102
thats not even bad, its fun and i'd certainly allow it in my group as long as you play it right. Hell, this isnt even weirder than 80% of official VtM fluff and pre-made characters.

>>51527283
Wow, thanks for that. Suddenly that terrible high school shit seems less cringy, remembering that Hussie wrote that as an adult.

>>51520652
>>51520768
this sounds amazing in the best worst way possible, and if you managed to save any of it from the inevitable funeral pyre you probably gave the system, I'd be really interested in seeing it somehow posted. I bet a bunch of other anons would be interested as well.

>>51521677
>Sith following the "natural" order of things

I don't get what's wrong with it? If it were a party of Rebels or something than yeah sure it'd be weird but this is entirely in-character for a Sith and followers and just kinda hot on a subtle level without getting magical realm.

>>51521677
...

Isn't this the companion NPC from the bioware MMO you start with?

>>51522289
>This might have been a cool adventure/derailment of whatever plot was supposed to happen if it weren't for the fact that people stopped posting at around this point.
That's usually how it goes.

>>51520473
One of my early D&D characters was an edgy 2cool4you assassin. His intro to the game was assassinating some important guy the party Paladin was supposed to be protecting. We then banded together (well, they did, I was sneaking around following them) out of necessity to survive some zombie outbreak.

Later, the Paladin made a magic circle to protect people from the zombies on board, and for some reason the group left me to be the one keeping an eye on them. Someone inside the circle starts turning into a zombie, so I drag them out, dangle them overboard, slit their throat, then drop them. The Paladin was kind of annoyed when he found out, though i stood by my reasoning of keeping them safe.

In my defense, the fucking Paladin somehow was edgier than I was, on top of apparently having brain damage.
I didn't even kill my assassination target that I mentioned above. I was about to, then the Paladin suddenly decided he was bored guarding this guy and stabbed him in the face until he died.
Also, the Paladin spent the entire time aboard the cruise ship we were taking shelter on robbing everyone and all the valuables left on the ship.
Then later he decided to jump off a 4 story lighthouse because I did and it look fun. Except I was a DEX-main stat character with class features that assisted me(and made me take 0 damage), whereas he was a Paladin in full plate with no stats to speak of except average CON. We did get a chuckle when the fall damage dropped him to -7 HP and he almost died right on the spot.

>>51531145
That Paladin sounds somewhere between your typical indie Superman-but-mean ripoff and the classical lunkhead STR guy. I bet he was a riot to play with.

>>51531301
He wasn't...awful, but he wasn't especially interesting to be honest. His Paladin was an idiot and edgy, but somehow very boring at the same time.

He eventually ragequit the group when the DM wouldn't let him play a second PC alongside his first one that was basically an exact copy of his current PC with about 8 bonus feats thrown onto it.

Apparently he didn't even inform the DM he wanted to do this, he just suddenly had them show up mid-session and apparently assumed everyone would be alright with it.

>>51522611
>the only twi lek in the original trilogy is one that protests sexual slavery and dies for it

patently false. Jabba's aide-de-camp was also a Twi-lek. Though, since he was a male, it's unsurprising you didn't bother to remember him.

>>51531145
>>51531301
At least that paladin fell at the end.

>>51535014
Pretty much.

I wouldn't have cared so much, but he maintained quite adamantly that he was staying on the Lawful Good path.

He was also the worse DM I've had to sit through, but I've already spoken about that a few times, so eh.

>>51523566
>>51520879
>>51528983

I checked and it's not on my hard drive. I'll try to find and revive my old laptop to see if its there.

>>51521677
>>51529017
The shock collar is part of the South's story in the old republic. One of the followers you can romance starts with a shock collar you can choose to use when and if you want. I'm pretty sure she's twi'lek too

>>51537221
Sith's

>>51520473
I'll admit that most, if not all, of my characters are stand ins for me with varying degrees of wish fulfillment. managed to par it down to a more balanced state now that i'm older, but i still do it.

Cringiest i was ever subject to was a GM's homebrewed monster status. He had me travel to a sewer, $4.99 DLC style, and get bitten by some fatass down there, thus turning me into a wererat. I cured that shit immediately.

>>51521814
Witch Girls Adventures isn't feminist, it's fetishist.

>>51521932
>RHL
RaHoWa, Racial Holy War you mean?

>>51537941
yeah. I have no idea where that L came from

>>51522053
>a pair of desert eagles
my sides

>>51526885
Probably with all my old DSA stuff at home. In German.

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>>51527283
Oh shit! That reminds me! I wrote Homestuck fanfiction in middle school using a set of 6 OC trolls. They had all survived the horrorterror's mental blast because they were all mutants in some way.

The main character was a troll with electrical powers. He had lived his whole life in a matrix-style power generator, except he was awake the whole time. There were a couple hundred more trolls like him in the same facility. All of them were clones of clones of clones of Troll Tesla, who was sentenced to produce free power by a highblood.

The story started with the electric troll (not naming any names so you guys can't find the work) chatting with his buddies via another electric troll with wired telepathy powers. Then a meteor hits the building, killing everyone but the main character, who was in the very corner, furthest from the blast. Instead he was only blinded and seriously wounded. He quickly learned to "see" with electrical impulses, like a shark. Also he had shark teeth which he could spit fairly accurately and ate metal.

The other trolls were, in order that the electric troll met them:
>a druid-type dude who could control plants, who survived because of MENTAL TRAINING
>an incredibly powerful Aradia clone, who survived because she was SO PSYCHIC
>a gemini with one mind in two bodies, who survived because her bodies captchalogued each other
>a dude with temperature transfer powers who burned his house down so he could freeze himself in cryogenic stasis (this guy was my self insert)
>and there was another female troll somewhere in here who I remember literally nothing about (I think she had jade blood?)

>pic related, it's the first image of the series

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>>51540628
I never finished the story or took any notes. I only got to the part where the druid and electric meet the Aradia clone in a city. The plan was that they would all meet up and create an Sgrub session (Sollux sent the code to one of his hacker buddies) and they would actually matter to the main Homestuck plot, the electric would make a massive doomship and declare war on the troll queen, relationships would happen, etc. etc. standard bad fanfiction stuff.

But the worst part was, I was running it like a play-by-post on a forum that wasn't even the Homestuck forum, and the players had no actual agency. I was railroading everything.

>>51520473
>cringiest
I don't cringe at my creations. Because I have never grown up so the trench-coat wearing katana wielding half-dragon samurai is still my favorite character

You know what? Fine, I will tell this story as the WotC forums are dead and gone forever, and I'm pretty sure the topic was never archived either.

When I was 12, three events happened to me
1. I got into a hip new show and card game called Yu-gi-oh
2. I got my hands on the brand-spankin new 3rd Edition D&D PHB
3. I got the internet for the first time in the house.

I really liked the card "Swordstalker" just because the name sounded edgy and cool. So I made up a 3rd edition class for it and posted it on WotC's forums for D&D. I honestly don't even remember if there was a theme for the class. I think I made it based on a fighter that was "good" at beating other fighters.

I immediately got called out for it and I began to argue with this dude about it for some 50 odd posts. I even remember at one point posting this long, emotion-filled speech passionately defending it because that was how all arguments ended in anime. And everyone would look up at the impassioned hero and comment how great he was.

It blew my mind when my opponent did the same thing back at me except with actual arguments my 12 year-old mind couldn't defend against.

The most embarrassing part of all this, was at the end of that speech, he made a throw-away insult of "You act like a 12 year-old", which left me scared and speechless, so I responded with "How did you know I was 12? o_o"

The conversation quickly dissolved after that when my opponents realized they were literally bullying an idiot kid online, condescendingly patted me on my back, passed me some life wisdom, and left the thread.

And that's the story of how I never posted on the internet ever again. The end.

>>51527283
eh. Still okay in my book
Too many problems to list, but I really liked some aspects of it

Yeah. I did some forum RPG stuff in high school. One of them was a quarantined city scenario. Everyone made a freeform character (some sort of weird mutant thing).

The original idea was a power struggle between an NPC with sense-range no-counter mind-control, and another who could transmute matter just on the spot, e.g. lead into gold, brain tissue into radium, etc.

So I had Matter Transmuter fucking just step straight through the wall of the warehouse the party was hiding in first-session, and tell them 'lol you work for me now.' To which a player said 'i shoot him.'

So i spoke to the guy in PM, said 'you're not in danger, this is a quest-giver, he'll set up the plot. You're not hardcore enough to take him on yet.'

It quickly devolved into something about 'dodging' having parts of your brainstem turned into argon by some asshole who won the superpower lottery.

>>51527283
Homestuck is unironically brilliant in the same way Strike Legion and WH40K are unironically brilliant.

>>51541019
Kids usually aren't dumb, they just need a LOT more practice when it comes to writing.

A short story I wrote when I was 8 (mage aristocracy, good necromancer) ended with a deus ex machina of 'some of the evil wizards switched sides.'

Why? Because 8 year old me figured 'not everyone going along with evil conquering is going to be doing it because they're bad people. Some might not know what else to do, and some might be waiting for someone else to take the first move.'

So i wrote a fucking mage rebellion into the backstory of my 1 A4 page short story and didn't put ANY of it into the story itself, because "obviously" it would have happened. and my writing hasn't improved since then.

>>51520473
I was introduced to TTRPGs by a simple d6 system that tried to simulate what D&D/GURPS/Medievalshit in general does well, a lighthearted magical fantasy adventure. It was an original system from my country, and tried to do the whole schtick - 3 magic schools, a simple skill system, 5 stats and so on and so on.

The problem is, it was broken beyond belief. The system was full-on point-buy, base stats, skills and special abilities came from the same single point pool. One stat was godmode(say, STR adds +1 dmage. DEF adds +1 defense. RNG adds +1 ranged dmg. DEX adds +1 to all the above, plus skills, magic, dodge, ability limits and so on). I've spent weeks rewriting the whole system to use other dice and changing bonuses all around(using the d12 as the main die), and after all that work, I saw it perform really well in playtest with some friends.

...then I discovered the d20 system and its decent and well made ruleset and cried in the corner for about a day.

>>51541134
Well, it's successful, that has to count for something.

>>51521848
Welcome to existence, where the pop-culture things you experienced as a small child are different than the pop-culture things small children are currently experiencing.

Someday, people in their 20s won't understand any of your cultural touchstones.

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>>51520473
I made my first homebrew in 1996 when I was in high school. Having just played Shadowrun 2E for the first time, I was blown away by the COMPLETELY NEW AND ORIGINAL way it tracked damage, which was new and original because until then the only RPG I had played was AD&D 2E.

It's full of edgy teenage atheism, a complete ripoff of the visuals of The Fifth Element, absolutely no original ideas, and all the graphics were drawn in MS Paint with a mouse. The setting is based on a sci-fi comic that I had started doodling a couple years earlier.

Sometimes I think about scanning and posting the whole thing on /tg/.

[WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE]

>>51520652
This sounds badly designed but it's always a good first step. Sometimes the design itself is fun.

I made something similar, but it was more actually pretty easy to play. The setup just took hours because I expected players to build their own spaceships from the ground up. The game ended pretty fast because some players can't be bothered to not shoot important NPCs with their bodyguards present and then claim it's unrealistic when they get killed over it.

>>51521856
Elvish was apparently based on Finnish, which is what he's got in that screenshot.

>>51542013
Do you even have to ask ?

>>51521677
From what I've seen of the Star Wars universe twi'lek's exist solely to be the "Space elf" hostages and slaves of the bad guys. It sounds like you were just staying true to the universe.

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>>51542013
sure

>>51542013
And we never heard from him again

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>>51522385
>Chaotic Evil goddess of chaos (big surprise)

Pretty sure that after watching Sinbad like 20 times when I was younger if I ever feel the need for a goddess of chaos, I'm not going to even try to avoid it.

>>51542013
RIP

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>>51544037
>>51544645
>>51544699
>>51544852
Sorry guys, home sick and forgot I posted this

OK, to give you some more backstory about the setting, here's the setting backstory. Why New York? Because that was where The Fifth Element was based.

Absolutely not a ripoff of Judge Dredd's Cursed Earth and Mega-City One. That "artwork" is absolutely not a ripoff of Void from WildC.A.T.s either.

Oh, and apparently I did save all my drawings from age 14 so I can post those too.

I can post mine, but I'm not willing to touch or describe it much.
There was a lot more than just this document, but it was all in my head, and I've managed to do literally all about this project better in my later settings and novels.
It's edgy. It's cheap. It's at times incomprehensible. It's slipshod, incomplete and full of "creative artifacts".
Here you are.
http://pastebin.com/tKKvT02N

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>>51546221

But before we get to the drawings, a little bit about the backstory comic.

I had this idea for a giant spaceship/station that was probably inspired by Babylon 5, which I didn't really watch and just left on as background noise because it came on after SNL and Voyager but before Hercules, but I did enjoy the intro.

So basically it was a giant ship that had been preprogrammed by ANCIENT ALIENS to visit all these planets that had intelligent life and hang out just long enough for some of them to build a rocket and go meet it, I guess. I don't think I ever really considered exactly how the "picking up species" thing worked other than just abducting them and forcibly introducing them to galactic culture. I had some sketchy idea about a progenitor race that created life on all these worlds that was eventually going to become a main plot, but my friends only had so much tolerance for this bullshit so we only played about half a dozen sessions.

Also I had no idea how the fuck apostrophes worked, which is funny to me because now incorrect usage is one of my biggest pet peeves.

ONTO THE ARTWORKS!

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>>51546455
This is the picture that started it all. I had this idea for a race of humanoids who could survive in vacuum without a suit and had pupil-less eyes because I thought that looked cool, and as a horny 14-year-old in the days before dial-up, I liked drawing girls with big boobies.

I don't remember this character's name, but she was some kind of Mary Sue space mercenary. Come to think of it, her look was probably heavily inspired by Fairchild from Gen13.

>>51541019
>And that's the story of how I never posted on the internet ever again. The end.
doubt.jpg

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>>51546606
For some reason, most of the "good" characters were humanoid females with big boobies.

Of course the WorldPool logo (why would it even have one?) was written in English.

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>>51546676
You can tell this guy is a bad-ass because he uses curse words and doesn't take any shit from holograms.

And obviously somebody who's the ruler of an entire swamplands is going to be a big deal on the intergalactic criminal stage.

I really liked the way Sam Kieth signed his name.

I made furry races for my players to use. They didn't use any of them.

>>51520473
I was 14 and tried to build a world and write stories about it. It was Twilight kind of dog shit, filled with Mary Sues, Gary Stues, elves, ancient gods, magic and vampires. So glad I had no internet back then.

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>>51546751

Oh look, it's another big-boobed female. This one is I guess an underling to >>51546676

See how that ENHANCE screen that's numbered "4" shows the same bad dude from the other screen numbered "4"? Pretty clever.

>>51529017
I don't think that's a subtle level of hot

and I also think it's a *little* magical realm.

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>>51546824
Whoa, didn't see this one coming

Don't want to spam the thread so I'm only going to post a few more drawings, but I also have writeups for about a dozen alien races with statblocks that I lifted out of this setting for my amazing homebrew.

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>>51547001
Oh wow, it's an employee that isn't a big-boobed humanoid female.

I was even worse at drawing dudes than chicks, so any males tended to be non-human because that way I couldn't fuck it up as badly.

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>>51547033
You'd think that this post-scarcity society full of diverse aliens would have some sort of utopian deal going on, but everybody loves their bloodsports.

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>>51547061

I know you can't see the Captain's boobies, but trust me, she's hot.

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>>51547075

No, it's a different megastructure, you dummy.

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>>51547117

Why WOULDN'T a 26th-century crime boss read the newspaper

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>>51547152

I didn't know the term at the time, but the concept for this was basically a slice-of-life for the people in charge of running the WorldPool.

>>51547152
I like this guy's swag.

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>>51547185

Just one more after this, I promise.

Having only drank PBR at this point, this picture makes me think of the way Chris-Chan depicts recreational substance use.

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While we're posting pencil art, here's a cleaned up version of the main character from >>51540638

It was my forum avatar on the MSPA forums.

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>>51547254
And this is the map of Alternia I figured out so I could actually run the game.

>>51521950
That's nice dear.

>>51540638
>>51540628
>>51547254
I swear the Trolls were custom made to bait Deviantart kiddies into making OCs. They're so formulaic and marketable, it's easy for autists to grasp them because creating them is just going down a checklist.
Blood color? Check.
Associated star sign? Check.
Signature weapon? Check.
Unexplainable superpower? Check.
Unique candy corn horn shape? Check.
Cute! Typing! Quirk!? Check!

They even have FOUR special types of shipping, and you know how autists get wet for that shit. If I had a higher opinion of Hussie I'd swear he planned it to go down exactly like it did from the start.

>>51520473
None.
My ideas are pretty much all either super good or nobel prize worthy.

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>>51547197
Thanks anon

Checking my setting notes, Dul Janarr here is of the species called "namarana". Dul's writeup is as follows:

The criminal mastermind behind a hundred webs of intricate schemes. Though he bases his operations in the WorldPool, he keeps several homes and safe points throughout the universe. After receiving transmissions from New Earth about the gangsters of pre-arrival New Earth, his amusement led to his donning of a 1920's-style hat (I didn't know it was called a fedora). He wears it as a symbol of his admiration of a planetbound terran who managed to carve out an empire for himself.

Janarr is known to keep a kern as a pet, and is never far from it. He never travels alone, always taking with him a pair of monotaur bodyguards (get it, "monotaur"? Because it sounds like "minotaur".) In addition to them, he is almost always trailed by a pack of sessun'dak mercenary-guards. (You can see a sessun'dak taking a hostage here >>51547033 )

The writeup for Dul's species:

Namarana: body 3, str 3, dex 7, int 8, wis 8, cha 6
The Namarana are a primitive version of the so-called "nameless" who visited New Earth in the distant past. Physically, they appear the same as their infamous cousins, except for their height and weight. A typical namarana is 1.8 meters tall.

======

Anyway, that's the short version of my first homebrew. Glad I saved all this artwork; abysmal as it is, it takes me back to those innocent days of staying up until 7:00 a.m. drawing shitty softcore porn all summer long, when the Internet didn't really exist and the year 2000 was still a ways off.

>>51547352
>If I had a higher opinion of Hussie I'd swear he planned it to go down exactly like it did from the start.
Sometimes these things don't need planning. One time, I was trying to trace the lineage of a title passed to the killer of the previous holder, and found that everything had actually worked out perfectly with regards to who killed who to wind up with the final holder.

I've had an idea for a comic series that I started in highschool (mostlyjust drawing some scetcehes of the characters and doing some very short comics; I had ideas for a longer plotlines but never drew them due to lacking the ability to draw well enough). I continued to work on the idea later, and got it to the point where it would have been able to be published as an episodic webcomic (with somebody else doing the art), with, IIRC, 12 issue planned. Then the guy who was supposed to do the art vanished somewhere and I later lost all the scripts when my computer died.

It was probably for the best, since while it wouldn't have been as cringey as most of the stuff posted here (in the later version in particular I took care to avoid the most obvious errors every bad webcomic makes), but it would have been a mess due to going through so many gradual revisions that it ended up with a lot of "artefact" elements that no longer fit the setting but were retained due to being central to the plot, and having the mood swing heavily from episode to episode, which would have likely made the parts that were supposed to be serious and dramatic just come off as cringey.

It did result in the character I consider my sort-of mascot character, though, so it was good for something.

You know how the Matrix movies were all cool, right?

Ok, the first one was cool. The second was kinda stupid and the third was cancer.

But you also remember how the d20 system was also cool, including that super well-balanced d20 Modern supplement, right?

No? Well I wasn't quite there yet with the latter, so I decided to try to make a Matrix sourcebook for d20 Modern. Yes, I'm glad I didn't finish it too. Here's a rundown of some highlights:

Races: Three. Yes, three. The Homegrown, the Matrix Born, and Programs. Homegrown are humans born outside the Matrix, have buffs to physical stats, and can always use the Decipher Matrixcode skill as a class skill. What's that? Dunno, I never actually wrote it. But it would have been the ability to read raw Matrix code with a skill check, which I guess they all get since Link and Tank were able to do it?

Programs were just that. I had two subraces (Brawn and Brain) which were supposed to represent either thugs/guards/Jet Li or guys like the Keymaster or the Architect.

But Homegrown was my master(batery)stroke. You'd essentially be running two characters, the Real Self and the Virtual Image. They shared mental stats (and got bonuses to them), and had separate physical stats (scrawny and weak in the real world, extra fast in the Matrix). HP taken off one is taken off the other, and so your scrawny physical body would probably die before your ass-kicking Matrix self did. Also, they gained levels separately, and no I didn't attempt to reconcile the numerous problems that would cause.

Sound fun? It gets better. (cont'd)

>>51547736
(cont'd) I also gave everyone who was Freed (as opposed to Copper-Tops (yes I called them that)) a new stat called Belief. You'd improve it as you levelled up in Advanced Classes that gave it and use it for random rolls for what I called Matrix Stunts. Want to do the long jump? Roll your Belief and consult the table. Want to do the Bullet Dodge scene? There's a whole three paragraph writeup for that. No, I am not a professional game designer.

You could also use it to lower the DC of skill checks, gain initiative, get bonuses to AC and your to-hit bonus at the start of combat, run faster, run along walls. Basically, the only score you'd ever need.

I also created stubs for about 20 Advanced Classes, figuring that people would want to play any character or concept from the movies. No, I didn't just abstract it and say that Morpheus was simply higher level than, say, Switch. No, Switch was a specific subclass (Weapon expert, I believe) and so was Morpheus (Matrix Sage). Thankfully, I only went down the rabbit hole enough to complete one class (the Matrix Runner, basically your average resistance member), and gave them stuff like the ability to increase their base speed, bonuses to Computer Use, D&D fighter stuff, etc.

Oh yeah, and every single part of what I just posted had a two to four paragraph explanation section attached.

No, I will never post it.

>>51547736
What about the Matrix Born? You didn't talk about them.

>>51547872
Thank you for reassuring me that someone out there writes games in the exact same way.
I'd like to think my games are a bit better than your banished game, but it really does hit some sore spots.
I have a habit of getting in over my head on stupidly interconnected gimmick mechanics, huge amounts of very defined splats, [placeholder tags], complex abilities and setting flavor, connected by stupid fucking amounts of fluff and lore attached to everything.

>>51547981
I misposted there and also called them Homegrown. The Matrix Born were the guys who had two character sheets.

I had a whole three paragraph writeup on the process of becoming Freed too. Basically, there were a whole raft of skill checks that you had to do, including Survival skills once your body was dumped into the sewers and Fortitude saves to prevent drowning. Most designers would have just said "the resistance picks you up after you're flushed", but no it's rolling time. Oh, and since you'd never used your body before, all your stats were dropped to 3 until you underwent reconstructive therapy. Good luck!

Also Matrix Born get +1 Will saves in both worlds, for some reason.

>>51535014
Surprised you didn't get a "Carlos" for this.

>>51535014
Carlos.

>>51521292
oh fuck you, I forgot I ever made an 8-bit theater ripoff. I didn't even bother changing the wizard much. It was myself as a self insert for the wizard and my friend as a self insert for a rogue partner. I even figured out webhosting just for that, but mercifully the photobucket links have broken since.

The best part?
After a year I rebooted it with FF sprites. It's still on deviantart somewhere. I remember the fighter escaped hell by convincing the devil he was too stupid to be stuck there.

>>51520652
>>51520768
with the right flavor, this could make an amazing system.
I'm imaging some hyperviolent sci fi shit where rust, viscera, and grime is fucking everywhere and having big dumb weapons is almost something to be proud of

>>51549177
Have you ever heard of HoL?

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>>51549177
>and having big dumb weapons is almost something to be proud of

>>51549314
>>51549317

>Have you ever heard of HoL?
That was gonna be my next post, followed by SLA Industries.

>>51547352

>If I had a higher opinion of Hussie I'd swear he planned it to go down exactly like it did from the start.

He probably did. The guy is genre and autist savvy enough to play the cards out just right.

Not that the troll formula is very unique though. If you boil it down it follows the same obsession formula I've noticed over the years. You make a bunch of dudes that follow these steps and you have a fanbase.

>very easy to grasp personality
>strong attachment to a symbol
>powers, ideally thematic
>non-human
>easy to draw

Once you see the pattern you can trace back several big fanbases back to this formula, maybe give or take a point or two.

>>51520473
A trench-coat wearing, motorcycle riding furry cat person. However he used a bastard sword in combat, not a katana. It was dumb as hell and sort of a "what will this group let me get away with" and yet was also the only one in the group to have decent enough defenses (forcefield from the sword) to survive the final showdown with Cthulhu-Hitler.

I still regret everything about him

>>51549177
>>51520652
>>51520768
I kind of want to make this to be a thing.

>>51549329
More people need to read the book, if not play the game (because you need the expansion if you want to have character creation rules - and those you get are eldritch). The rules are relatively simple, but the game was never intended to be played before some people actually said that they wanted to.
I was going to write a resume of the setting for the uninitiated, but I realized halfway through that there's no way anyone could do that in less than 2000 characters.

>>51548547
That's funny, our Black Mage ripoff was also the only character nearly unchanged from the 8BT version. I guess everyone thought that character archetype was great back then, I remember there was some shitty WoW comic that had a zombie wizard who did the whole "LMAO atrocities so funny xD" thing too.

>>51535032
as an awful gm looking to improve, hearing what he did wrong would be cool

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>>51549438
>remember there was some shitty WoW comic that had a zombie wizard who did the whole "LMAO atrocities so funny xD" thing too.

This?

>>51550114
Oh christ, that's it. The fucking lolsorandum edgelord mage, I can't believe anyone ever liked that shit but here we are.
>Ryan Sohmer
The faggot who did Least I Can Do did this too? I remember he wanted the Deadpool writing gig super bad too, looking at the way he wrote his Black Mage ripoff it's not hard to see why.

>>51550114
Oh wow, that's a blast from the past... I remember liking the early bits some years ago, even just for the "Richard makes the castle interrogator uncomfortable by giving advice during his torture" style jokes. (That one parody of the little mermaid song is still pretty great though).

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>>51550315
>>51550351
It's signed, too. My mom sent it to me a couple years ago because she knows "I like D&D".

She volunteers at a library and someone left it in the donation box.

>>51550416
>She volunteers at a library and someone left it in the donation box.
Domestic terrorism.

>>51520652
>Back in the day, when I first learned about RPGs
when was that?

>>51550806
Back in the day

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>>51520473
Well, I started (and thankfully never finished) a Vampires in Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace novel. Got about three chapters in.

Oh, and then there was the ViS / Stargate SG-1 crossover I developed. I was a strange lad.

>>51520768
This probably isn't the worst thing I've heard. It sounds like you were having fun with with it at least. I've tried making a lot of systems, they never go anywhere, and I always cringe pretty hard at them, but it's fun to work on and keep me entertained. None of mine are super horrible, but my last project was the bastard offspring of EotE, L5R, Dark Heresy and a few other smaller things. D6 based.

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>tfw remembering all the cringy shit I did as a kid
>tfw knowing some of it still on the internet somewhere

>>51520473
I've made a few settings in my time, but I still basically like them.

Bumping for more *ugh* cringe

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>>51556816
>ugh

This isn't cringy but in elementary school I'd often write 1-6 on each side of a hexagonal sided pencil so I could use it as a die for shitty combat systems I'd make. It really boggles my fucking mind how I thought rolling a pencil around to play a shitty game with myself was fun or even entertaining.

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>>51556816
>>51557121
>>ugh

The cringiest I can remember was a nun-turned-slut fighter. It turned out I didn't even like pretending to be a slut in our sausagefest of a group and I'm pretty sure I made some of the guys uncomfortable as well. Also a waste of the best random roll ability score array I remember having.

Dykey Scythian warrior-women with a female centaur slave/mount. Bad times.

>>51549479
I'll just cliff notes it then

>First time DMing, runs an epic level 4e game, level 21.
>First fight against a bunch of mobs and 2 solos way above our level. Lowest level mob was around level 25.
>When one solo nearly dies, it jumps into a nearby ritual(?) and regains all it's health.
>Barely win, suddenly ritual starts sucking everyone into it, make skill checks.
>Everyone fails. Afterwards he admits that the DC was so high it was literally impossible to pass, and anyone who did somehow pass would be out of the rest of the game.
>Party of 5+DMPC split into 2 groups of 3, with some vague magic barrier separating the two groups. Explicitly states literally nothing can pass through the barrier. No given reason, it just can't.
>Each group has to fight 5 mobs and 2 solos, all way above our level.
>The instant any mob took damage, it would self-destruct for stupid amounts of damage and get replaced instantly by an identical mob.
>Someone on one side drops, we can't do anything because all the healers are on our side.
>A solo on our side throws a lava ball at him.
>Gets upset when we ask how, explains "He threw it over the barrier" then gets pissed when we suggest just flying over the barrier to help, saying there's no way to fly over it.
>His explanation then changes to "Only attacks with the 'Hurl' keyword can pass the barrier."
>There is no "Hurl" keyword in 4e.
>DM gets pissed again and just moves on, with the guy's character dying instantly from the lava ball while unconscious.

Cont.

>>51560394
>All the enemies start suiciding by throwing themselves into the lava when the DM realizes the fight is too hard.
>Then all but one solo follows suit. Suddenly the barrier drops, we're all pushed onto one side by..something...and it goes back up.
>A level 29 Chaotic Evil Phoenix suddenly appears, the solo and the DMPC run off because ???.
>We're not allowed to stop him from fleeing mind you. We tried, but the DM just tells us "No you don't" at every attempt.
>We're still level 21, most of us can barely hit it, except our Bard who literally can't even hit it unless he rolls a 20.
>Through some lucky rolls and bullshit shenanigans on our part, we finally manage to bloody(ie, take it to half health) it after about 30 minutes.
>DM gets bored of the game.
>Says we suddenly can't move because the solo that fled created a gravity field...somehow.
>Collapses it and it instantly kills both us, himself, and the Phoenix because ???
>DM declares we lose the fight.
>We tell DM he's never DMing again.

Somehow he convinced the group to let him DM again, but that one was bad for less interesting reasons, and was more boring than anything else.

That one also lasted one session since the "What do you mean I can't have a second PC without telling you REEE" thing happened shortly after.

>>51560019
We won't know if it was cringy or not if you don't go more into detail.
This might sound like a request for fapbait, but sometimes people get insanely awkward and spergy about just having a female character in the group (or about playing one). There's a pretty big chance that nothing was wrong on your side.
If you played in a female voice, though, it's irrevocably your fault forever.

>>51522053
It sounds like you also played The Darkness.

>>51522054
That's okay, we're not asking g you to be ashamed. But a lot of people are. And it's fun to laugh at eachother's creations from when we were 12.

For example, when I first started, every adventure. Every. Adventure. Started in a gladiator arena. Laugh at me.

>>51560570
I'm happy to say that we abandoned that campaign pretty quick so there wasn't time for the cringe to accumulate. Just basically I said that my character got drunk every night we stayed at an inn and tried to bed both women and men and if anyone wanted to pay her for the trouble she was glad to accept. The rest of the guys either chuckled or just sat silently. I didn't do a voice or demand graphic descriptions though. I've had a player request that once as a Storyteller though.

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>>51560394
>>51560492
Seen this before actually, glad to get more info on this guy. Also with what you've said about this guy no session story with him involved would be boring, tell us about that last DM'ing session, as well as just generally the specifics of how he got kicked out.

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>>51520473
>be 11yo
>playing with friends
>can't remember how but our rpg session ends with ''and then he farted so loud the universe ended''
>giggled like insane after that

I guess that's that.

>>51561172
Eh, I guess.

>Boring session
>Another epic level 4e game, level 25 this time
>Start in a field surrounded by trash mobs any of us could wipe out in our sleep
>Saved by random NPC who takes us to heaven I guess
>Something about the Greek Mythology Vault was robbed and we're the only ones who can retrieve the stolen weapons because ???
>Teleported to a cave full of elementals
>Fight through them because we're epic level badasses
>Suddenly everyone but the Rogue is teleported out of the room we were in and a Solo elemental giant..thing appears
>We start to go back in and get stopped by a rockslide. Not a magic rockslide, or an forcefield made to look like a rockslide. Just a completely mundane cave-in.
>We all have a good laugh because we're epic level and each have at least 2-3 ways of bypassing a pile of rocks.
>Relent because Rogue wants to try soloing him.
>Doesn't do too bad actually, but starts losing.
>DM lets one of us get teleported in for the assist. We decide to send me, the Wizard, in to disable the giant so the Rogue can stab it to death
>Suddenly the giant stops the fighting, hands over the weapon, and walks out. We're not allowed to do anything to stop him from simply walking away.
>The weapon is the Bow of Artemis, an epic level homebrewed artifact
>Basically a +7 magic bow with a whole bunch of epic level abilities and bonuses that I can't quite remember, but he was quite intensely reading it.
>The DM clearly spent a lot of time working on this weapon and was eager to see it get used.
>We all look at each other, then stuff the bow in a bag without any intent to use it.
>After some complaint, we explain to the DM that none of our characters (we sent him weeks ahead of time) were able to use bows, so it was basically useless to us as a weapon.
>DM gets upset, and the session ends because that was all he had planned up to.

As for his ragequit, it was further up.
>>51531346
There really wasn't anything more to it desu.

>>51521950
>OP, and everyone else who uses cringe seriously, are part of the new cancer calling everything "cringy" or "cringe" like fucking children who learned a new word.
Amazeballs, senpai

What if I told you that it is, in fact, you who is cancer? You're ruining 4chan and the internet, taking it away from old school users (like myself) who have been here since 2012

>>51561883
>old school users (like myself) who have been here since 2012
I laughed, thanks

>>51549177
soooo
Warhammer 40k?

>>51521292
Imagining the web footprint we might have left still gives me chills.
>>51548547
>mercifully the photobucket links have broken since
It occurs to me that our parents were so lucky. All the cringy shit they must have done as kids will never be immortalized because there was no internet.

>>51521537
which races anon

>>51521722
There are males?

In high school I tried to write a tabletop RPG for Pokemon for my group. Not bad in itself. But my group had just gotten deep into 4chan (and one into fanfiction.net), so I anticipated that my friends would probably try to poke their mons, if you see what I mean. I actually wrote out rules describing how much of a bond you had to have to actually do it. Then I suffered a sudden burst of rationality and tore the page out of my notebook in disgust.

A couple of days later my dad found that notebook. Since it no longer referenced cartoon sheep buggery he was merely momentarily confused rather than eternally disgusted. I don't know what god had my back that day, but I'm gonna find them and worship the shit out of them.

>>51521950
>people linguistically adapt words over time
>CAnancnENRRRR
it's been happening for possibly some millions of years now, dude.

>>51563695
what's weird about calculating pokemon intimacy tables in a ttg? sounds pretty standard to me. some might have related features and immunities, too.

>>51521848
SUOMI :-DDDDD
FUG X-DDDDDDD

>>51564038
Wanting to pork animals isn't standard at all. But on /vp/ it is.

>>51565215
the standards ?
On /vp/ ?
Last time I went there, the biggest thread was derailed because some "cute" guy posted a picture of himself for some reason
Then, after about 60 posts asking for dick pics, he delivered. That was soon followed by asspics and I finally got out of my stupor and realised that this was infact not what I was looking for and that I should get the fuck out which I promptly did

>>51560394
>>51560492
>>51561809
What the fuck is up with all this railroady bullshit? Seriously why didn't you just walk out on any of these games? None of it makes sense.

raped female players in game when I was a kiddo.

I was like 12 years old and the only one competent at GMing.

still feel horrified thinking back on it especially since I married one of those girl players

At least nowadays I'm on of the better GM's around in my social circle. Nothing teaches you a lesson against magical realming like being the one doing it.

Thank you for shaming me /tg/, I needed it.

>>51569055
It's a hellhole of a board. Almost nothing but underage furries yiffing each other's yiffy yiffs. You literally get better Pokemon discussion on /v/, and mostly all they do is bitch about everything after gen 1 or 2.

My first PC ever was a space marine Librarian.
It was a medieval setting. I kept trying to kill the other PCs for heresy.

One guy showed up at a game I was running and wanted to play as George Costanza, so I statted up George Constanza for him. Not a copy of George Costanza, but the actual guy. He ran into the Temple of Doom, killed several wolf-monsters with his baseball bat, and generally wrecked everything before logging out.

I included him as an NPC for years afterwards. When my PCs were gods who had overthrown heaven and hell and the main villain PC had been disposed and defeated in his bid for cosmic domination, it was epic level George Costanza in black platemail that carried him off the battlefield. Like a comedic Soundwave.

>>51520473
My first D&D character
>back in early 2000's, high school
>Loved Drizzt books and was a weeaboo
Created dark fighter elf dual wielding katanas
Never played him though, we only got together to create characters

Magnus Plague

A parasite that's larval form resembles metal, able to be smelted and forged into objects. The metal has fantastic anti magic properties and is self repairing, healing itself by absorbing magic.

It actually grows when it absorbs magic and prolonged exposure to the metal causes Magnus Syndrome which forms lumps all over the body and prevents the casting of spells both from the victim and on the victim.

Eventually these lumps turn into hard cysts which in turn develop into the metal substance.

Provided the metal is inside a body for long enough, it begins to absorb it and take over it's host, generating an anti magic field that absorbs magic energy inside of it.

I basically welded together the statblocks of 4-5 DnD 3.5 creatures to make it.

Absorbing magic gave it regeneration and it had a 5% chance of making a spell go haywire and a 20% chance of the spell working normally. The non larval form took on traits of the host.

The players never even tried to understand what was happening, losing player after player in encounters.

The last encounter was supposed to be a boss fight against the illithid that had bred the parasite, but instead the illithid was just using the players to further his goals. Killing off all the Dwarves, Drow, and flooding most of the Underdark.

>>51563429
The cats and the lizards. Both are notorious as indicators of shitty players and ass-tier erping.

>>51521173
Sounds like something Terry Goodkind would write

>>51574252
how is this bad?

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>>51522289
>freeform
>pokemon
>post-apocalypse
>edgy everything
This was physically painful to read

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>been making systems since 11 y/o
I get horrified when I think of all my past systems.

SOME recurring mechanics:
>dice multiplying values just for them "big numbers" sake
>MMO-ish stat progression
>elder scrolls skill system (lasted until I discovered how hard it was to track everything)
>charisma affecting gained XP
>total D&D rip-off
>some kind of real-time action RPG between lego figures solo (one of my first)

Basically every new system was different and was scrapped to make a new one, thank god for that.

Just a matter of time before my current WIP system gets scrapped.

>>51520473
Psychotic chaotic neutral half-elf synthesist.
He was an adult, but looked like a teenage fuckboi because of elven genes.
Turned into horror deep black abomination that looked like Korax from Hexen.
Was an actual rapechild and secret experiment went wrong kind of fellow.

>>51547352
Oh, of course. Much like Sonic characters or MLP. I've had long discussions with my friends about things like this.

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>>51579587
>Korax from Hexen
Now how am I supposed to cringe at great taste like that?
>GREETINGS MORTAL. ARE YOU READY TO DIE?

>>51520473
My first d&d character was a loledgy CE drow rogue who was drizz't's cousin
I vividly remember killing a random hooker in the very first session for the sole purpose of qualifying for the assassin PrC later

>>51582662
Did that prc ever serve another purpose other than revealing That Guy tendencies?

>>51575123
Who the fuck do you consider to be MORE cancerous?

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>>51521848
>>51521950
>criticizing stupid internet slang
>unironically saying "cancer"

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>>51522952

>>51542013
Do it nigga.

>>51522042
That is a little silly, but I think the majority of the cringe would be in the delivery.

>>51521792
>Then Sephiroth was allowed to come back because he convinced Satan he was too badass to die, but he had to find an equally badass body to possess.
>It was Trenchcoat McKeyblade
So, basically what happened in the FF7 movie, except replace keyblade with weird-ass double katana. got it. Hope you got royalties.

>>51520473
Not mine, but here. It was posted a few months back, and became the darling of the thread it was in.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TGqNOvvc5Xi4XFdkEA9kn0D4oXEf-JYWTNXBS6qovm0/edit?usp=drive_web

>>51546751
>>51546676
>>51546606
>>51546455
>>51546221
>>51547001
>>51547033
>>51547061
>>51547075
>>51547117
>>51547152
>>51547185
>>51547240
>>51547472

This is some quality shit anon, thanks for sharing.

Seems like the kind of stuff I would have done if I thought I could draw

>>51563695
thats some lucky shit right there

>>51520549
>Drow Ranger Mercenary
I'm rolling the same thing right now in a 5e campaign, but without the "Surface bitches know their place" thing and more of a "God, please, I don't ever wanna go back to the darkness" Thing.