Galatic Federation council meeting

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WE'RE FUCKING HERE, DID WE MISS ANYTHING? ANYTHING HERETICAL? YOU KNOW ON HOW THIN ICE YOU XENO'S ARE ALREADY!

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>>51513931

Diplomatic Representative of the Grey Federation reporting.

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Templars of the Holy Star Order of I friggin told you so, reporting

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>>51513931
>>51514712
Representatives of the Smug Imperium here. Ditto.

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>>51513931
Just a heads up, we're researching regular jump drives, psi jump drives and synthetics/AIs all at the same time. In theory every possible worst case scenario will just cancel each other out. Also we've been sending insulting messages to the nearby Ancient Fallen Empire and sending science ships back and forth to a black hole and now the black hole is talking to us saying it loves us but we just need to do this one thing.

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>>51514045
Monkeigh, it is I, Ynnead Oconnera, the one true God of the Aeldari. I will marry your Emperor and you will bow to me.

>>51514825
WHY WOULD THAT EVER WORK? THAT'S LIKE SETTING YOUR BEDROOM ON FIRE, FLOODING YOUR BATHROOM, PUTTING ALL THE METAL UTENSILS IN THE MICROWAVE MACHINE AND THEN LETTING ALL YOUR CHILDREN EAT NOTHING BUT CANDY FOR SUPPER.

>>51513931
Go back to the forest you plant bastard

>>51514999
The idea is the extra-dimensional energy being invaders, extra-galactic bio-swarm, robot uprising and the ancient supertech aliens will fight each other instead of us.

Let's face it, even if we don't research sapient AI, Dimensional Jump Drives or Magitech Jump Drives someone else will. By triggering every possible apocalypse at the same time we'll be able to control the firestorm to a manageable level.

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>>51514999
They need our glorious tentacled oracle's guidance. I suggest becoming our vassals and joining our faith. Plus all the delicious clams you can offer.

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Shapeshifting lizardmen assassins present
Just so you know, if things get out of control with the wizard shit,you can always just call us

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T͈̥̺̙̣̤͘O̖̠̘̕O̢̢̳̳̲̳͓̪̣Ṭ̣͇ ̨̜͓͉̱̤͖̦̼̕͢T̮̩͕̱͝ͅO͔͖̠͘ͅÒ̶̤͕͘T̟̘̦̯͚!̠͈̮̰̞͈͠ ͘͏̭̼̻͕̖͕̹̪Ḓ̰̟̩̘̀Ò̷̗̲̮͕̞̺̀O̷̲̹͘D̨͖͢L̸̦̠͖̳̘Ḛ̠̮̙̯̣͠ ̪̝̝̙̥̩͞ͅD͏̨̹͞Ớ̵͕̦͚̣̗̫̭O̸̗̮̕Ḍ̝̪L̻̳͚̥͉̘͕E̵̡̼͈̩̪̯͇ ̡̨̰̥̬̝͟T̗̥̲͖̞̮̭͢Ó̴͚͓͝Ò̵̠̼͇̱̳͞T̴̬͍͜

>>51515140
Just make sure you have a human pressing the button when Shit hits the fan.

Your Federations days are numbered! Soon the Commonwealth of Man will have cleansed the galaxy of your filth

>>51515212
WHO THE FUCK LET CLONING PROJECT 5123 OUT OF ITS CONTAINER, I THOUGHT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO EXECUTE IT

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>>51515245
T͏̧̤̘̠̮̤̲O̭̳̳̕O̺͓̯͈̖̼̫͝Ó̴̜̠̺͡Ó̜͉̘͇͙̭O̼͖̯͘͜O̱̺̰͔̠͓T̷̥̲̞͕̟!̯̤̬̫̬͈̦͘ ̲̬͍̣͔̻͉͔Ț̸̴̥͇͔͚͕̦̣͞O̹̘̫͇̖̜O̪̮T̥̖̺̟̠͎͘͡ͅͅͅ ̷͚͇̗̭͔̰͙͖̕T̤̦̯̫̫̝̩̤̰́O̸̭̲͖͚͉͍͠ͅO̯͍̬͍̥͓͘T̸̳͍̩̱͡ ̵̛̟̩ͅD̷̪̭̪͓̘͍͉̲͟Ọ͇̳̖̠̪̗̯O̱̗͚̦̲̦͖Ḓ̙L̡̟̫̝͈̀E͇̪̹̥̳͍̜ ̳̙͈̟̝̕͘D͇͚̮͈͕͚̫̥͢ͅO̧̼͍̱͎̹̞͠Ò̴͍̳̼̣͙̞D̶͎͔̯̫͇L̖͍̩̼͖͙̘͔ͅE̢̟̝̱̣͉̼ ̢̻̺̦̕T̻͙̖̖̯͎͡O̫͇̮̜̱̬̞͝O̤͍̦̭̠͍͢͠Ţ̢̭̭̙͓͍͢,̵͇͢ ̡̞̤̱̺̺͢D̸̥͔̤̜̹̬́͢O̹̼̜̦͎̜͚͈O̱̳D̨̡̹͓̮͕L̼͎̜͓̜̩͓͟ͅͅE̶̟̺͙͙̠ ̠̭̩͇͚͜T̸͚̖̯̘̹͎̩̩͞O̗͉͉̜͢Ǫ̠̜̼̀T̡͚̺́!͎̤̩

>>51515239
>common wealth of man
KEK
Come back when you stoped going to civil war over what type of shoes are in season, maybe well take your "threat" seriously

>>51515274
OH GOD IT THINKS ITS PEOPLE

FUCKING NUKE IT BEFORE IT ACHEVIES SENTIENCE

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Reformed Chimm Authority here, perhaps if we are given the current research on this "Magic" we could analyze it and offer a solution. I promise that we will not attempt to once more conquer the galaxy.

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Regulate my magic! I dare yah! I double dare you motherfuckah!

>>51515275
You United Nations of Earth fuckers will pay for your crimes eventually!

>>51515303
>Chimm
I thought you all died out during the grand crusade for the many tentacled one?

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66432758 of The Collective present.

We maintain that this "magic" is in fact a manifestation of psyonic abilities, and claim posession of all who manifest it, in accordance with The Andromeda Treaty.

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>>51515298
Nah, chill man, he cool. Hey, you cats ever consider this magic shit just be scientific application waaay beyond your mortal understanding? Just sayin'.

>>51515363
Rumors of our death was greatly exaggerated, we were merely crushed back to the stone age on a backwater provincial world after our core systems were purged, Which we of course forgive the Federation for, after all we did promise to "Smash your worlds and raise your children as battle thralls." No hard feelings right?

>>51513931
This shit belongs on >>>/qst/ .

>>>/qst/1112841

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>>51513931
Pfah. As representative of the Klerrian Sublime Combine, I must honestly say that I am quite appalled by how ignorant you all have been before now. Really now - the Most Revered and Sanctified Tellorm XXVIIL has, in his infinite wisdom and kindness, provided our Federation with both the highest quality and quantity of planetary assault and defense armies, and yet you still all failed to heed his teachings on the nature of the universe. Worse still, you all have been so eager to distance yourselves from the dirty work of defending and expanding the Federation's borders that you have failed to even recognize that our Divine and Upright Divisions of Venerated Saints - which have been in use for approximately 143 star cycles - have used sacrosanct psionic abilities in combat since their inception!

>>51515303
Oh please, as if you exoskeletal weaklings could best Federal armies in battle. We crushed you once, we can crush you again.

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Divine Birdenian Movement here to say.
Lick our fat cloacas

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>>51515363
fuckers are tough but our god-king will lead us to victory!

>>51515344
Suuure you will
Oh look that guy called your mom a fag,better start another civil war

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The Grand Hazar Imperium ambassador has arrived, regretfully.

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>>51515428
I might remind you representative that the Chimm people would eagerly help you in your expansion if we would be allowed to take up arms again, for the federation this time.
>>51515522
Most honored greetings ambassador, Your colors are vibrant as always.

>>51515522
Always a pleasure to see you. These filthy spiritualists won't shut up as you can see.

>>51515975
We can use our mighty battleships to wipe them out. Then the materialists. Then the pacifists, and so on and so forth.

>>51516184
My friends we Chimm have been down the path of total war and we have payed dearly, I ask that you refrain from such discussions in this time of crisis.

>>51516224

Well, maybe we will let some of you live. Many Hazar do not like working in the hydroponic domes or deep core drills. It's only total war if you kill all of the enemy.

ATTENTION TO ALL RACES OF THE GALACTIC FEDERATION:
AFTER THE WIZARDS HEARD OF THE RUMORS OF MAGIC BEING REGUALTED, THEY ARE NOW ATTEMPTING TO LEAVE THE UNION

THIS INCLUDES A LARGE AMOUNT OF WIZARD SCIENTEST WORKING ON MAGIC REALTED PROJECTS

>>51516286
Hazar battleships are willing to fire on any unlawful wizards. Just say the word.

Attention all planets of the solar federation
Attention all planets of the solar federation
Attention all planets of the solar federation

We have assumed control
We have assumed control
We have assumed control

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>>51513931
There have been no reports of this 'magic' thing in Harrokan Combine space as of yet, but if there is a way to weaponize it be sure we will figure it out.

>>51516317
>>51516286
>>51516317
>every one forgot taht the greys and lizard men are wizard majority races
THEY GOT INTO THE BACKBONE

WERE LOSING CONNECTION TO DOZENS OF SEECTORS
WHO THE FUCK LET THE GREYS ENSTALL THAT BACK DOOR

Through thorough examination of subject races and the help of one particularly "gifted" scientist, we have determined that "magic" is simply a function of neuro-quantum effects the universal Higgs field. This comes as no surprise given the effects described by various Higgs type bosons under modern quantum theory. As such we have be able to equip our marines with these "magical" abilities with only a 0.001% chance of severe insanity.
Now if you'll excuse us, the 6th Fleet has engaged something calling itself "The Undbidden" near the galactic rim.

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>>51516525
DATS BULLSHIT N YOU KNOW IT
AINT NO WAY YOU REGUALTIN MY MAGICZ

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>>51513931
I'm from the Mobile Infantry, and I say kill em' all! The only good mage is a dead mage!

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What is this magic of which you speak?

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>>51515274
Oh boy! This is my jam

>>51516374
Why do you think we have never connected our networks to the galactic networks? Untrustworthy xenos.

>>51515409
>>>/trash/7511378

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>>51513931
Star Nigglets checking in.

>>51515409
>>51518224
>No fun allowed detected

Am I allowed to purge these inferior xenos?

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I heard with my own sound collectors how humans supposingly breath poison and hunt their prey until it collapses of exhaustion. You, I mean we better not mess with them.

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*frumple*

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>>51513931
G.I.'s lost in space checking in

Gooks get out

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Uguu~

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Representative of the Gox Republic reporting in.

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>>51513931
T H I S
I S
W H A T
Y O U
F A C E

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>>51513931
The Chiirim Hive welcomes the acknowledgement of magic. The God-queen will be pleased. Please do not enter the Hive's borders.

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Can we finally cast a vote on making the Clam race of Gamma Numaxis a cattle resource? "Oh we can't eat them! They're sentient! They can make primitive autocycles and factorums!"
Please, Even if they could be sentient, they wouldn't be able to create the Mass-psy-ultranet system connection in the next googooplex. Our God-king demands his clams!!

>>51525392
Most species are Sentient. The Hive thinks you meant "Sapient". Primitive Sapient Races are not to be disturbed, uplifted, eaten, or studied beyond passive scans. The God-queen demands it.

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Warrior cardinal representative of the Holy World Order of Fak'majii here.

I believe that I don't have to say "I warned you", so I will skip that completely.

With that out of the way and working on the assumption that you all understand the inherent and innate evil that is foul magic, Fak'majii would like to extend its offer to send spellslayers to the civilizations who desperately need it. We will need some compensation, but it shouldn't be too hard on even those of you in economic problems.

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Emirates of Hacan reporting in.

Can we buy this 'magic'? And where can we buy it?

>>51525488
Do not enter The Hive's borders.

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>>51525737
A Hive, you say? Where is this Hive? We need to know so we can properly avoid violating your borders, of course.

So where is this Hive? And coincidentally, how many larvae would you say your civilisation contains? Just a ballpark estimate would be peachy.

>>51525861
Any who enters The Hive's borders will be met with advanced weaponry blessed by the God-queen herself. And armies of the Worker-caste on their planets. Do not enter The Hive's borders and The Hive will not enter yours.

>>51525584
No, and nowhere. And that's a good thing, for magic is evil.

>>51525931
'Good' and 'evil' depend on the point of view.

Maybe some magic users then? We can give many trade goods in exchange.

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Oh my gosh, am I late to the meeting? My apologies! I would have arrived sooner, but space pirates came out of nowhere to attack the transport ship and its convoy! It was a frightening experience.

Before I forget to do this part, princess representative of the Wibarian Trade Empire reporting in! We've yet to have any problems with magic (apparently, Wibarians can't use magic at all. Maybe it's better this way), but the Highest Trade Empress of Wibaria has already decided that she wants magic regulated. She's willing to listen to alternate ideas in regards to magic, but for now she's siding with the Spiritualists.

Also, petitioning to have a future council meeting's main topic be about space pirates. Maybe it's just the Trade Empire itself having heavy problems with these outlaws, but space pirate activity seems to be increasing every passing day to the point that it's getting worrying. Approximately 5,000~ merchant ships was attacked in the past two weeks, with 13% of them taken by space pirates and their crews killed, captured or involuntarily launched into deep space. It's getting on our nerves.

The Grim Skull Pirates, in particular, seems to have made a point of antagonizing us. I am not going to name anyone, but we blame a certain group for having provided them a way to get an entire fleet of spaceships. Thanks for nothing.

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>>51513931
>Our main topic of today is about this 'magic' that have come up and we have to find ways of regulating it before the commoners

My fellow councillors, I just had this idea : what if we created some kind of monastic knight order to regroup all these "magic" users as a peacekeeping organization or something?

>>51526480
The Trade Empress is intrigued. Please elaborate.

>>51526524

Well it's simple, you create an organization where you brainwash magic users from a young age with a strict moral code and religious ethics and morality, make them think they're an independant organization working for galactic peace such as hunting bad "magic" users and conductiong diplomatic missions.

But of course they would actually serve this very council as a way to get rid of the many real problems that are affecting this galaxy, such as anarchists, inferior species, and such.

>>51526714
From the magic users point of view they are evil

>>51526714
After ten minutes of consideration and consultation with the Advisors, Viziers, Adminstrators and Trade Queens present in the Empress Court, the Empress would like to make it known that if this proposed organization will help with Imperial pests and problems like smugglers and space pirates, she would like to change her standing and support this idea.

That is, on one condition.

The condition being that we need to have measures in place in the event that this organization would go rogue or show signs of going rogue. If we're going to fund this, we'd like the magic users to not collectively become renegades and attack us after years of funding. If we can at least get rid of them the moment they show signs of becoming a threat, at least we won't have to worry about them causing more damage to our treasury any further than just wasting the funding.

>>51515140
>The idea is the extra-dimensional energy being invaders, extra-galactic bio-swarm, robot uprising and the ancient supertech aliens will fight each other instead of us.

Will that actually happen in game? I've always just turned off end game invasions because they always happen on the other side of the galaxy and I cant do shit about it because everyone hates me and even though my fleets can protect them they are still mad I ate half the galaxy and refuse to work with me. Then the threat is out of control and I just bulwork as best I can knowing its already to late because now they are eating fallen empires.

>>51526908
How about we have a specially tailored gene-modded clone army created as a contingency for these magic users?

>>51526908

>The condition being that we need to have measures in place in the event that this organization would go rogue or show signs of going rogue.

yeah, let's call that the directive 66 or something

>>51527119
>>51527127
Sounds good, but where do we find someone to provide the best possible template for the clone army?

>>51527059
well, when the not!nids invade, the precursors can wake up to fight them, and if multiple ones wake up at the same time, you can have a muti-way slugfest with the precursors fighting eachother while fighting the prethorian scrouge. same with the extra dimensional horrors. the precursors can rise up and fight them. it really depends on how many fallen empires you have and their type

>>51527858
Will the scourge fight the extra dimensionals? What about the A.I.?

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Hyracian Empire representative here.
Our imperial council is split right now between the
"I told you, why didn't you listen!" and the "Shut up already, I get it!" parties.

Our peasants are already blowing themselves up with techno magic bullshit.
Bad news is we are gonna need to release some planets form the empire because they are very likely to turn themselves into a magical explosion very soon, on the other hand, we just acquired very low cost magical artillery pieces

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>>51527696
I believe this specimen may work for the clone army, Gentlemen.

>>51528317
Never thought I'd witness the day where a primitive species would provide something useful for the Galactic Federation.

>>51527059
First off, only one End Game Crisis can occur. So the game picks one (random chance, with greater chances depending upon which finished first, etc), and that becomes the End Game Crisis. The three possible invasions are not!nids, extra-dimensionals, and machine uprising. Once one is started , i.e. the not!nids, then all the other possibilities are turned off (without mods, that is). So you could recklessly pursue artificial intelligence the minute extra dimensionals invade. Or not worrt about jump drives as soon as not!nids show up.

As far as fighting them... That's a whole different strategy. Not!nids can be contained by realizinf they have a finite range to their warp drives (like three systems in), and will send constructors over first to take over areas. Their fleets are defensive only, and don't go out hunting down or raiding your ass, but rather stick to areas they are occupying. With enough fleets in systems encircling them, you can effectively blockade their growth.

AI is as I understand it a race against time. They will quickly and efficiently out-manufacture and out-science the fuck out of everyone. But they need vast amounts of energy and minerals. The wiki has more info on fighting them.

Extra Dimensionals show up with some beefy as beam-firing fleets that are heavily dependent on shields. They raid and purge everything they come across, and you can end up with three separate extra dimensional races attacking at once (but not allied). Fighting them mostly involves wiping out their beacons/outposts, and then closing the rift. Hit and run tactics work for this. Otherwise when engaging their fleets, pack anti-shield weaponry. Kinetic Batteries, Railguns, Disrupters, bombers, etc. depending on your fleet composition and defenses, you can trash a 50k fleet with as low as 30k.

>>51528603
-continued-

Depending on the Fallen Empires, it is also possible one of them might rise up as a Guardian of the Galaxy. This largely depends upon the type of Fallen Empire, and the end game crisis type. If this happens, then the Fallen Empire ascenda into a active mode, changes it's type accordingly (like it awakened), declares war against the crisis, and starts kicking ass.

>>51527978
Generally speaking, only the Scourge, AI, or Extra Dimensionals show up. In standard game, only one appears. In custom mod games however, I think they all treat each other as adversaries by default.

>>51528460
My pleasure, Gentlemen. Now excuse me, but I need to take this call.

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CLONING PROJECT IS A FAILURE
I REPEAT,CLONING PROJECT IS A FAILURE

SEND WIZARD KNIGHT TO SECTOR 895 BEFORE THEY RAKE OVER

>>51528817
Just establish an orbital blockade around the planet while you bombard the surface with anti-matter torpedoes and shoot down any ship leaving the planet.

>>51528878
I CAN'T, THEY CUT OFF ALL CONNECTION TO THE FLEET, I HAD A SPARE COMMUNICATER AND THIS WAS THE ONLY NOUBER ON IT-
fuck i think they heard me
i have to end the c-
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

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Just to check, we are sure that this "Magic" exists and isn't just a figment of your imagination?

>>51528817

Ha! Oh man, Clone Uprisings! That takes me RIGHT back. We had to sterilise that planet for YEARS before we got all the clonotrons.
Don't even get me started on that whole Rutharian Superior civil war thing a few years back.
Superior? At dying maybe.

>>51528925
In light of these event, all non essential ships approaching our borders will be destroyed. Essential ships will be boarded and inspected.

>>51528817
>>51528925
Gentlemen. Neither my employers or I are impressed with the light of these situations.

>>51528237
I think quite frankly that this 'magic' needs to be banned altogether. A tip for you who have androids: Don't ever let them learn magic. Now I'm dealing with a robot rebellion with metallic wizards.

>>51526339
The Wibarians should exist in a hive mind, it has meant The Chiirim Hive has never suffered from pirates.

>>51528817
This is why Cloning should be left to Collectivist species, such as The Hive.

>>51528956
Your species looks identical to the Chiirim. Why?

>>51514712
Tfw stellaris portraits.

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>>51513931
This is the Imperial Ploraxian Monarchy speaking, we have arrived to this federation that you are holding. We were caught up in a war right now, as we speak.

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>>51515274

START SPREADING THE NEEEEEEWWWWSSS.........

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S̵K͢R̷̕͠E͟͢͡E͡͏E̕È̴̡E!̵̵̧

[Running diagnostic on translation subroutines]

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We of the Covenant of Aramus, and her constituent species, suggest that the presence of so called mystical capacities is no excuse for the recent behavior of various secular bodies in response to our benevolent proselytizing. This alleged "magic" does not give them license to use such language as "in your face, fox eyes" or "take that you weeaboo cunts" in official communiques.

We make no overtures to crusade, but, in the words of the earth peoples, "bitch we might".