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Anonymous
Passive-aggressive ship design 2017-02-01 07:37:14 Post No. 51509953
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Passive-aggressive ship design 2017-02-01 07:37:14 Post No. 51509953
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Time for some writefaggotry.
Captain Sassoon's log, January 10th 2541.
The ship design team that we captured from the Federal States of Mars has kept its promise. Even with guns pointed at their heads, they managed to deliver a Majesty-class flagship with FSM technology that met all the requirements, and then some. The tide of the war is sure to change with this.
I would be quite pleased, if it wasn't the single most infuriating ship I've ever had the misfortune to fly.
Every single control stick, lever, handle, railing and ladder rung is a prism. Every last one of them. Anything you have to grab is guaranteed to dig into your hands with its three sharp corners.
Every single chair is made from hard plastic. That wouldn't be much of an issue, if the seats didn't awkwardly curve upwards and end in a sharp edge that jabs your thighs. Even the arm rests are prisms, and yes, they point upwards. The benches in the mess hall aren't any better. They're made from really smooth and slippery plastic, and the seats are angled in such a way that makes you slowly slide under the tables.
Speaking of sliding, every single sliding door retracts into the floor, but never fully. There's always enough door exposed for you to trip on, and to make it impossible to push trolleys through doorways. You'd think that the swinging doors would have less issues, but of course not. The bathroom doors open only inwards, and they are stopped by the toilet bowls, leaving only just enough room for you to squeeze through.
>Cont.
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>>51509953
The misery continues on the bridge. Critical buttons and controls are placed in seemingly arbitrary places. Controls that should be paired close, have been positioned in the opposite ends of the room. There are even some buttons under the consoles! We discovered that when someone accidentally launched an escape pod with his knee. The GUI is atrocious. Yellow text on a white background, and none of it can be changed to anything more readable. The operating system keeps making obnoxious synth noises whenever anyone presses anything, and we still haven't found the option to change the volume through the endless sub-sub-sub menus.
The crew is ready to mutiny and so am I, but the big wigs refuse to do anything. After all, the ship functions perfectly well in every combat scenario that it was meant for, and fixing all these ”minor annoyances” would make the already gigantic costs even bigger.
I swear, the next person to suggest letting POWs design your weapons will get a full plasma charge to the face.
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>>51509953
>>51509971
I mean...getting enemy POWs to design your whole ship was pretty retarded to begin with, so...
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>>51512870
this desu
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>>51509953
>Every single control stick, lever, handle, railing and ladder rung is a prism. Every last one of them. Anything you have to grab is guaranteed to dig into your hands with its three sharp corners.
Looks like you've got something to have the Marines do to keep them busy. Hand out files and get them to work smoothing everything out.
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Seems like all your problems could be solved with cushions and duct tape. Plus you can ask for a refit with greenscreen monitors to avoid colour issues.
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