Fucking Nightmare

Your DM sucks cock

Leave the group immediately.

You volunteer the group for suicide mission after suicide mission, still a palain thing to do. if people accuse you of trying to get them killed, tell them that yes your are, because it is a great honor to die in a battle.

>>51434072
Try talking to your DM about it. If he's a dick that only did this because he has a fetish for fallen paladins, leave the group now, it's not worth it.

>>51434072

Solution: kill the DM instead.

Alternative solution: the minute the game starts, attack a party member and get waxed. Say "That's how a paladin does assassinations, dumbass". Then pull out another character you pre-rolled.

>>51434072
>we must complete this before the end of the game
Why?

No, seriously. What reason did he give?

>>51434072
no-call no-show. that's fucking retarded.

>>51434072
What the fuck?

Do some DMs actually pull this shit?

>>51434072
You should find a really funny story or joke, tell it during the session, kill them with laughter.

Show that DM he is a faggot.

>>51434212
Answer my fucking question.

What possible consequences are there for failing this 'secret mission'?

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>>51434072
Your GM is a dumb piece of shit. Find a new group

>>51434072
When trying to be stealthy instead yell and act lawful stupid to get them killed

>>51434638
No. The vast majority of RPG horrors stories are either grossly exaggerated or complete fabrications. Most of the remainder are pulled from anonymous online games.

>>51434966
There are none, because this story

DIDN'T

FUCKING

HAPPEN

>>51434072
"If I must kill anyone in my party, I shall start with myself."

Though as others have pointed out, this is a dumb situation.

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>>51434072

I did this in a game once
>running a Mercenary game set in 1980's Venezuela
>Party are Mercenaries from various backgrounds, notably a guy from the CIA, a female sniper from the KGB, a pilot from Rhodesia, a guy posing as a merc but is actually a reporter, and a former army special forces guy, last guy was basically macgyver but also a bounty hunter
>mission is basically "Apocalypse Now" - go find rogue colonel and kill with extreme prejudice, before he launches a nuke at someone

I handed out letters at the beginning of the game with everyones secret objective, and all of them were adversarial
>CIA guy had to eliminate the colonel
>KGB girl had to hijack the nuke and launch it at ukraine, to give russia a legit reason to invade venezuela
>Pilot was actually working for the colonel
>Reporter was supposed to find out that it was an american plot all along
>SpecForce guy had no agenda, but knew the colonel personally and wanted to talk him down
>MacGyver Bounty Hunter was hunting the colonel for bounty, HAD to take him alive.

In hindsight it was a good idea, but executed poorly. In the end, the party had to assault the colonels bunker, and were rigged up with NBC suits because the colonel had resorted to gassing them. Two players were dead (the pilot, who turned on the colonel and went out in a blaze of glory, and the CIA guy who got knifed in a chemical environment and died of sarin gas). MacGyver had built the suits, and unbeknownst to everyone, had rigged them with knockout gas if anyone got the wrong idea (by this point it was obvious that not everyone was who they said they were - specifically after both the SpecForce guy and the Pilot came out about their missions)

After subduing the colonel, the KGB girl smokes everyone else with pistol shots (after launching the nuke), and then gets knocked out by her suit.

No one won that campaign, it was rather funny.

>>51434072
Take a shit on your character sheet.

>>51440226
Didn't the KGB girl win, then? I'd assume not getting out alive is not that big of a deal for a secret agent, if you've still fullfilled your objective.

>>51440673

Shes the one that got closest to winning - part of her objective was securing the colonel though, and he escaped (the party was arguing what to do with him when she waltzed over to the control console and launched the nuke).

>>51440726
>>51440226
The perfect ending for a gritty mercenary/spy game, really. Reminds me of the film Ronin, although a lot darker.

>>51440226
That sounds really good. Would make a good movie or miniseries or novel.

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>>51440226
>a pilot from Rhodesia

Was his name Neil Ellis?

>>51434072
Capture some poisonous frogs and plants.
Hope no one has high perception.
And make a poisoned stew.
>Never trust the fish course.

>>51434072
Kill your party, then kill your DM, then kill yourself.