Mages Guild: Witchhunt Edition

>>51331229
I second that the scab is Todd!
>she flips Todd off

>>51331268
Where's your proof you maniac?

>>51331268
>Pops up behind you
Hey Jillllll!

You here for the coupons too!?
Know where to find Todd?

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>>51331278
This isn't a court, /Todd/. Just admit your guilt and this will be much easier.

>>51331229
Eh, i know this might be annoying but why do we curse people? I forgot.

>>51331298
>>51331268
We need to do this organized and civilized otherwise we are no better than those barbarians i met when i was younger, it has to be a trial.

>>51331290
>Harmonica pokes her head out from a doorway.
I-I want the coupons t-too!
But... Wh-Who's Todd...?

>>51331278
>she gasps as if she wasn't expecting todd to resist his fate of sacrificial lamb to the mob
Proof?

>>51331290
yes! and yes as well!
>She hooks a thumb at fucking todd >>51331278

>>51331299
because they did something to deserve it. or we felt like it. or we were paid to do it.

>>51331298
>Jill waves

>>51331298
I've done nothing wrong.
They don't teach cure curse in the warlock department and I've never enrolled into any courses in curse removal.
My record is clean.

>>51331329
I SAY WE RIOT!
>>51331340
RIOT!?
>>51331342
Prove it or we riot!

>>51331337
Harmonica!
Come partner with me!
We can win those coupons
>rubbing her hands greedily
>pointing to Todd>>51331342


>>51331340
Todd! We shall dismember him! >>51331342

>>51331340
Yes Proof!
These claims are false.
I've been cursing people for YEARS!
Why would I ever want to uncurse someone?
>>51331342
I'll curse you in a minute you idiot. Then ask me to uncurse it!
I can't because I never learned CURE CURSE.
>>51331372
I'd rather you didn't!

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>>51331358
Calm down Inigo. Blindly slining accusations is how we almost got taken over by the fucking DRUID'S GUILD.

Let that sink in.

>>51331329
we're supposed to be a mob though.

>>51331342
>>51331391
shall we go an take a look at your records then?


>>51331358
Not yet, but soon I think.

>>51331372
Not yet!

>>51331329
>>51331340
>>51331358
Back in my day we put a trial if we suspected someone did something wrong, so now we just kill get? Bah we are not an assassin guild!

>>51331401
...That's not my nametag.

TODD! Get your ass over here before I rip your legs off!

>>51331358
R-R-Riot? Aren't those dangerous?

>>51331372
O-Okay!
>She anxiously looks to Todd.

>>51331406
Well it isn't okay with me young one, if we don't follow the rules how are we we better than those we curse?

>>51331401
Meetings are a waste of time much better spent on other pursuits. The sooner I can derail it the sooner I can sneak away.

>>51331408
Says you. I'm rather good at assassinating.

>>51331401
>Emilia giggles

>>51331391
Why are you uncursing people Todd!

>>51331406
>bouncing anxiously in her seat
But when Jill!
When!

>>51331434
Saaaaaaaam!
You want in on our coupon group?

>>51331438
But we must wait Harmony!
We wait for the proof!

>>51331408
>>51331358
THIS OLD MAN DEMANDS WE RIOT.

>>51331406
Fine fine.
>Todd throws a folder at you.
>>51331434
What do you want you idiot.
>>51331459
IM NOT!

>>51331444
What you multiclassed as an assassin?

>>51331438
When a riot breaks out you can just dash! The best part about instigating trouble!
>>51331481
>He gives him a withering look.
>360+3 3rd+2 Age
>multiclassing

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>51331408
>>51331442
Oh if we do a trail, can I be the judge and wear a sexy judge outfit and wig?

>>51331438
And how is my apprentice doing today?

>>51331459
20 minutes, tops.

>>51331468
>She reads what classes he took (and curses it to read he took uncursing classes if it doesn't already say that)

>>51331460
Young one, next time you try talking for me i will personally see you are cursed so back off!

>>51331444
Fair. So let's investigate and make sure that when we riot, we're doing it to the right person for the right reasons.

>>51331459
...coupon group?

>>51331503
>Thats a DAMN GOOD CURSE
So? Does it say I took the classes.
Because it doesn't
>Oh yes it does because Jill just modfied the records.

>>51331513
Joke's on you, I'm already cursed sevenfold.
The only problem is that I can't remember which ones they were.

>>51331459
P-Proof?
>She points to the folder Todd threw at Jill.
Like th-that?

>>51331499
Oh! I guess I've never tried...

>>51331499
Sorry
>>51331503
No You part of the accusing party so either you would be in the jury or the... what's the opposite of the defense attorney?

>>51331503
Oh! Hi J-Jill! I'm doing good!
...Is there anything incriminating in there?

>>51331468
Hmmmm....
Darn you Todd!

>>51331503
20 minutes!?
I-I can wait...
i think...

>>51331520
We get coupons for finding the one responsible.
Me and Harmony are grouping together!

>>51331545
PROOF!
THERES PROOF HARMONY!

>>51331520
...Did you hear what I said at all? I want this meeting to fail catastrophically, but not in a way that it can directly be traced back as solely my fault. I can't take the fall, I'm too pretty for prison.
>>51331545
Well if someone throws a punch just run as fast as your little legs can carry you.
>>51331548
Not a problem old man.

>>51331537
Todd, how can you lie when it says you did right here!
>She shows the folder around the meeting hall that clearly shows he tots did take uncursing classes
For shame Todd, For shame.

>>51331548
Offence attorney?

>>51331561
Tots is.

>>51331562
Good girl, goooooood.
>she pats your head

>>51331562
Damn me for what? I havent done a thing.
>>51331589
OH SHIT WHAT?! BUT. I DON'T REMEMBER THOSE CLASSES.

>>51331545
>545 ▶
>>>51331459
>>51331542
>>51331520
>>51331503
Alright ORDER, I SAY ORDER! I put in a formal request for an inpartial investigator to make an investigation followed by a trial and only if found guilty will Todd be dealt with by the mob!

A PROPER TRIAL IS FOR THOSE MUDSWALLOWING DRUIDS AND IDIOT MARTIALS!
>He adjusts his oversized hat and strokes his beard for a moment in order to calm down.
The answer is simple! We create a truth-sniffing ectoplasmic dog.

Who's willing to bite the bullet and die in order to create the ectoplasm?

>>51331607
>Slap!
Stop lying todd! Admit the truth! it was YOU who uncursed the King. It was YOU who saved the dragon! IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG!

>>51331613
I'm totally one of those.

>>51331624
That is it, someone point me where the rules of the guild are and we will follow the rules i will read out!
>>51331652
No you aren't impartial, you have been hostile and slapping the accused!

>>51331613
Yes a trial sounds like a fantastic idea!
>>51331624
The dog will find me innocent!
>>51331652
>Is slapped.
IT WASN'T ME! IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR UPON ALL MY DEMONIC MINIONS IT WASN'T ME.

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I think we should all calm down and not blow up our heads over this! My money is on Todd though.

>>51331589
>Leaning over her chair, practically atop of you
Jill!
He has proof now!

>>51331607
YOU UNCURSER YOU!

>>51331613
Trials take sooooo long!
>impatiant
>so impatient

>>51331562
>She starts at your sudden shouting.
Th-There is?!

>>51331577
O-Okay, I'll try.
>She glances around the room, her eyes wide.

>>51331589
L-Like what?
>She looks over at the folder.
U-Uncursing classes!

>>51331676
S-So it WAS you, Todd!
...Wait, isn't uncursing g-good?

>>51331562
...I think Ill pass, thanks.

>>51331577
...That's the whole point of having an angry mob though, so it can't be traced back to one person.

>>51331652
Oh right, Jill, I need to talk with you about Harmony when we get a chance.

>>51331673
I say where is the tome of the guild rules!
>>51331695
Patience is own someone becomes the strongest magic user

>>51331700
Like anything in life, a good thing can become an evil action if done correctly.

>>51331691
FUCK YOU JACK.
>>51331695
Can't do what I never learned~
>>51331700
Exactly! Im a warlock for hells sake, I don't do good.

There is another form of trial that is much faster i will accept and will please the mob: A mage duel

>>51331737
But it's only good if it's for a good reason-- if it were to be in order to, say, spite our fair guild, it would be evil.

>>51331718
Check the room with the tapioca slime beast that is not my fault. Apologies to Jack if he lost an arm cleaning it, I haven't been around since that moon fiasco.

>>51331737
FUCK ME? NO, FUCK YOU AND YOUR HAIRY ASS MINIONS LEAVING ALL KINDS OF MESSES FOR ME TO CLEAN UP! You also owe me twenty you ass!

>>51331673
Is it not my right as impartial investigator to slap the accused?

>>51331676
STOP LYING TODD!

>>51331695
Yup!

>>51331700
yes!

>>51331705
Oh?
>she raises an eyebrow
if you want.

>>51331700
>Looks over to you
Silly Harmony

>>51331705
B-but Sam
>very pouty face

>>51331718
Im plenty strong!

>>51331737
>sadface
Todd!

>>51331790
N-now is the time?
NOW?

>>51331764
VERY WELL I WILL DUEL JILL.
>>51331769
Psssh, the alignment of the act is based on the victim.
>>51331771
Fine fine.
>He throws twenty gold peices at you.
>Damn that hurt.
>>51331790
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A MAGE DUEL.

>>51331731
R-Really?
I guess Jill said something s-similar once...

>>51331737
W-Wait, you're a w-w-w-warlock?
>Harmonica looks horrified.
B-But the uncursing classes...

>>51331790
I-I think Jill would be a great i-impartial investigator...

>>51331800
S-So how do we even get the coupons? The Archmage said that whoever finds out who it is gets them, b-but we've all figured it out already...

>>51331790
You are not mpartial and have not been appointed as the accuser, also will you face Todd in the Mage duel he accepted >>51331803
>>51331800
Tell me what you can do?

>>51331800
maybe~

>>51331803
A duel? Fine
>She summons and tosses a heavy metal gauntlet on the ground, your foot to be specific

>>51331800
If you two manage it, you deserve the time in the plane of bouncy castles.
>Sam actually has been there before and was disappointed.
>But she's not going to tell them that!

>>51331790
She showed interest in joining my department, but apparently you've recruited her as well. Any way we can work out some sort of joint deal?

>>51331769
I mean I knew what I signed up for when I took the job. Hell, I don't think about that old conudrum about the mop that gets it's parts replaced one too many times since I've lost my arms and legs several times by now.

>>51331803
God, thank you. Took you several months.
>Pockets the gold coins.

>>51331828
Yes. I work with imps for a living.
>>51331836
Ouch fuck, what's the guantlet for?

>>51331844
>>51331803
Alright follow me to the outside court so the mage duel can be set up properly

>>51331828
Thats simple my dear!
We catch him first!

>>51331832
I can make ice cream!

>>51331836
>ruffles your hair
Youre just saying things now!

>>51331844
PLANE OF BOUNCY CASTLES!?
>jaw opens and shrieks in excitement

>>51331828
Like for instance last week, I cleaned the floors, but didn't put up any signs. Show you idiots not to run in the halls during a slime attack.

>>51331828
Thank you Harmonica~

>>51331832
Sweet!

>>51331844
......but she's my apprentice....

>>51331854
you have to throw a gauntlet in a duel.

>>51331869
HEY! HEY! NO! Watch it buddy, don't touch the doo.

>>51331869
Not bad but a bit unorthodox, Have you ever heard of the legends of Ulmagar the Powerful?

*Is outside in the courtyard*

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>51331884
All I have is this glove.
>He takes off the glove.
>The walks up to you and slaps you with it!

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>>>/qst/

>>>/trash/

>>51331932
Hey NO DUEL INSIDE THE GUILD!

>>51331869
That's what the archwizard's coupons are good for, yeah.

>>51331884
...I don't think there are rules stopping her from being your apprentice and still being in my department.

>>51331854
B-But imps are demons!
And d-demons are bad!

>>51331869
O-Oh!
Does th-that mean we have to d-duel him after Jill does?

>>51331878
S-So that's why the floor was so slippery that day...
>She frowns a little.

>>51331884
S-So you're going to d-duel him?
Be c-careful, he, um, uses demons.
Since he's a w-warlock...

>>51331932
>Jill looks totally agast
Fine Todd, is that how it is?

>>51331946
>SSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH
fine

>>51331932
let's go outside todd, You're on!

>>51331954
Hmmmmmmmm Idunno, let me finish this duel and shee what I can do..

>>51331884
But I like your hair!

>>51331886
I caaaaant say I have!
>scratching her head

>>51331954
>melts in her chair
I had no idea!

>>51331975
Noooooo
We can just jump right ahead of her, and take out Todd ourselves!

>>51331975
*From outside* Only the first one to accuse him duel him

>>51332000
not now BFF

>>51331975
Imps are the worst flavor of demon, at least learn to summon succubi. Also yes I'm responsible for making the floors slippery, so sue me.

>>51331946
Try and stop me old man.
>>51331996
Fine!
>He storms outside.

>>51332000
If some else participate in a mage duel that is not regonized
>>51332000
Ulmagar the Powerful was so trong in magic he defy the god or goddess of magic for control of magic, he did lost but some say he still live

>>51331996
Right then.

>>51332000
Welp, now you know.

>>51332040
>Jill's clothing and hat ruffles in the light breeze outside
>She strikes a pose
ARE YOU READY TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED TODD?

>>51332000
O-Oh!
Like, r-right now?

>>51332005
>Harmonica turns to Nixia.
H-He says we can't.

>>51332033
N-No, you were just d-doing your job, it's okay.
I slip and fall a lot regardless, haha...

>>51332024
>rubs at her sad puppy dog eyes
O-okay..

>>51332058
Did he know how to make Ice Cream?

>>51332059
How do you know!

>>51332082
I-I dont know..
Jill told me not now
>sad puppy dog eyes

>>51332070
>>51332040
**Set up a Magic walls** Alright whoever wins is in the right, fight!

>>51332091
All sorts of it back in the day but no one knows if he still does.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>51332070
Are you ready to perish for your lies!
>He throws a dark bolt at you!

>>51332103
that's it?

>>51332128
Yes, you must fight inside the walls and only there with magic

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>51332127
Witches never say Perish!
>She fires off a 5 magic missiles shaped like pinballs

**is in the basement**

>>51332147
>>51332127
The fight continue until one faints or surrender

>>51332091
Oh.
I g-guess we'll just watch.

>>51332147
Um...
G-Go Jill! You got this!

Wait, what's this about curses?

We curse people?

Everyone back home was right! About at least one thing!

>>51332118
Now I want some..
>starts spinning her hands around
>making some ice cream ontop of a cone
Mmmmmm!

>>51332209
>lays her head on your shoulder
we shall watch!

>>51332209
>Jill spins around in the middle of the duel and flashes you a smile and thumbs up
Thanks~

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>51332147
>Blasted by pinballs.
>First to 3? if so 1/3 to you.
I'll get you for that.
>He throws an imp at you. It scratches your face!

>>51332239
Evening Carmina.

And...well, truth be told, most of this happened a while ago. Like, ages ago.

**Sets up alchemist shop in the basement**

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>51332252
>Jill squeaks and spins back around and tries to bat it away with summoned pinball flippers
>First to three works for me

>>51332298
>You are scratched! Its 1 for 1!
Aahahaha! Get em Bitey!
>>51332301
Right here you git.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS GUILD!? YOU RUINED MY RESEARCH/NAP WITH ALL THIS DUELING SHIT AND ALL THIS PISS FIGHTING ABOUT CURSING AND UNCURSING CURSES AND WHAT NOT!
>Casts an Arcane Explosive Wave with Enacra at the epicenter along with his yelling, Knocking both Todd and Jill back 50-feet and down.
CAN'T A DREAM MAGUS GET SHIT DONE WITHOUT BEING PULLED BACK INTO THE WAKING WORLD?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>51332298
>it passes right through them and hits her squar in the face
BWAH! ACK! STOP THAT YA FOUL WEE BEASTIE!

>>51332318
CLEM! CLEM HELP ME CLEM!
>Jill's Familiar Demon clam, Clem, hops out of her cleavage and clamps down on bities tail

>>51332322
**Tries to dispel magic**

>>51332268
I need 4 gallons of tapioca, some alchemist's fire, and a small amount of chalk. I'm going to create a truth-sniffing necro-tiger. I've already got the tiger body-- and if that idiot head of the druidry department comes by, I was never here.

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>>51332265
...

Eh?

>>51332318
>>51332354
Why are you two fighting?

>>51332322
Who even are you?

>>51332367
Discretion costs extra

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>51332322
>Gets knocked down.
Argh, Sod off you sleepy bastard.
>>51332354
Fight back Bitey. Go for the eyes!

>>51332372
It was an alternative to Todd being ripped to pieces by a mob

>>51332372
J-Jill accused Todd of uncursing people. They're d-dueling to settle it.
Oh, and hi Carmina!

>>51332354
>>51332392
D-Demon fights?!

>>51332387
Fine.
>He places a pouch on the table, which twitches and shudders.
Don't open it until the third full moon after a Friday the 13th.
>He places some golden coins on the table.
And that's for discretion.

>>51332408
Nice doing business with you

>>51332424
Same to you.
>He takes the shit, stuffs it into a bag of holding, and runs out.

>>51332403
Hello to you too.

And they're...
>Glances at them
>Groans
Mages.

>>51332398
I guess there's that, at least.

>>51332372
I mean, I won't sugarcoat it. There were some terrible people and some...not-terrible people who could still do terrible things. Most of them have since left, thankfully.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>51332392
>fucken abyssal clams man
>Once Bity gets pulled off, jill casts a spell then, looks kinda smug
>Rolling from him to not notice the shadow growing under you!

>>51332441
I admit i would have preferred a trial but these young ones don't listen to their elders

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>51332460
What are you smiling at?
>Does he notice?

>>51332448
I heard some voices coming from the basement

>>51332477
>a fucking pinball machine falls on todd

>>51332493
**Pinball magic is reduced to dust by disintegration spell before it comes close to Todd**
You were caught cheating cheating, give me one reason i should not let you automatically lose for breaking a rule?!

>>51332441
W-Well, Jill's a witch, not a mage, r-right?
Is there a d-difference?

>>51332493
>>51332477
>Harmonica gasps and covers her mouth.
Is h-he okay...?

>>51332493
>CRASH.
>Oh yea, he's probably dead.

>>51332533
Only gender

>>51332448
Thankfully, yes.

>>51332469
I-I mean yeah, that's kind of something youths do, but...

>>51332533
I mean, not really.
>Scratches the back of her head

>>51332539
>>51332533
see
>>51332527

>>51332544
Thre Archmage will here of this mess

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>51332527
Cheating? oh go jump in a lake you interfearing old fart. in fact...
>She conjures a popper under you
let me help
>rolling for lift off

>>51332372
Enacra, Dream Magus. I research dream dimensions and the Arcane plane via astroprojection. Also battle nightmares and help commoners get their sleep by kicking whatever otherworldly shit keeps plaguing their mind by channeling magic through my dreams to make things tangible.
>>51332392
sorry about that. It's just that this duel triggered my emergency wake up spell which jolted me wake. And Dream mages tend to be cranky when someone wakes them up.
>>51332561
Pardon me Syger, that arcane explosion was a instinctive reaction. Helps save my bacon whenever I wake up surrounded by nasty demons, bandits, and the occasional succubus.

>>51332488
Okay. What did you want me to do about it?

Besides, we don't go into the basement. Not since we found...those.

>>51332533
Technically there is, but there's not enough time to go in depth with it tonight.

>>51332544
So, anything else afoot?

...Oh, and Ami thinks your color scheme needs work.

>>51332566
>It doesn't budge.
>He's not even twitching.
>>51332578
>Can't respond because he's been crushed.

>>51332561
Please no!

>>51332580
Nothing pressing, no.

Wait, what's this about my color scheme?!

>>51332578
Oh, that's kind of you.

>>51332566
Fuck i can't roll i can't see the email field

>>51332082
Hey, don't beat yourself up.

>>51332599
Do you not what the old guy to have saved you?

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>51332615
>Use this roll or feel free to roll somewhere else, which ever works for you

>>51332580
If i heard correctly some fool set an Alchemist shop down there recently, i would look in the matter but i am occupied right now so either you or someone not involved in the duel get that fool out of there

>>51332623
In my infinite blindness I totally missed that post.
Im not dead yet!

>>51332649
[Thanks, what happens in this case if it's a tie?]

>>51332610
I mean of the young ones killing each other or close to that, if i didn't i would be expelled from the guild or worse

>>51332682
A reroll but to avoid that, how about you just step off the popper and glare her into saying sorry then repeating your original question?

>>51332664
Yet being the key word, fuckboi

>>51332726
I mean, im willing to keep fighting if the judge repeals the foul.

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>>51332655
...Look, if he can survive those things down there, they're free to stay.
>pic related

>>51332610
She says either the coat should be a light gray, or the sweater underneath should be a light green.

>>51332711
Ok
**Steps off the popper and glares at you, the sky is turning darker**
Give one reason you should not be losing the duel automatically for attempted murder?!

>>51332744
Is still fail to see how this was cheating

>>51332749
uhhh because i was going to win?

>>51332747
What are those again?

>>51332744
>>51332726
>Harmonica peeks out from between her fingers.
I-Is it over yet?

>>51332749
Aren't duels sometimes d-deadly, though? I-Is that against the r-rules?

>>51332698
...Ah, right, sorry.

>>51332747
Light green? Really?

Os she colorblind?

>>51332763
Killing is not against the rules here, but don't worry, I can keep you safe.

>>51332763
Almost!

>>51332759
One more change for a valid reason
>>51332763
This wasn't specified to be lethal so it isn't legal to kill in this one

>>51332749
Oh no... Rain.
>>51332763
The angry mob can't tear me to peices if im dead yknow!

>>51332783
uhh because i'm sorry and promise not to do it again?

>>51332773
It wasn't declared lethal
>>51332788
More like light hail

>>51332761
Trouble. A lot of trouble.

>>51332773
Hey, I don't know this crap! Ask her.

>>51332759
>daydreams up coffee.
You didn't say "checkmate"
>>51332788
Here. Take this. You'll need it.
>Hands Todd a umbrella.

>burst forth from being a fly
You guys won't believe the shit I just got back from doing-
the fuck happened here?

>>51332797
Apology accepted but the rules were broken, this wasn't declared a lethal duel and you tried to set a popper under me.
Todd win because rules were broken, any attempt to appeal my decision will be to the Archmage himself

>>51332839
Todd's been undoing curses. Also, there was a duel.

I have screwed up the creation of my truth-tiger necro-sniffer!

Instead of sniffing out knowledge, it just sniffs out tapioca pudding. On the bright side, when it eats tapioca pudding it speaks in tongues and writes down universal truths which have no innate value whatsoever.

>>51332839
Angry mob wants to blame Todd for series of random incidents involving curses wizards do for fun become undone with uncurses.

>>51332806
Well she's not here!

>>51332804
>Shrugs

>>51332839
Many, many things.

>>51332804
Oh boy.
>>51332832
Thank you.
>Puts up the unbrella.
>>51332839
I've been acused of undoing everyones curses.
Nevermind that. What have you been up to?

>>51332839
A duel was set up to avoid a mob killing a warlock and a witch broke the rules of the duel blatantly

>>51332773
Oh. Th-Thank you...
>Harmonica scoots a little closer to Carmina.

>>51332781
B-Be safe!

>>51332783
Th-That makes sense, I think...

>>51332788
They p-probably still c-could.
>Harmonica looks a little mortified while thinking about this.

>>51332857
Oh shit really?

Better not have been undoing any of mine. Met this bubble dragon that was being an asshole so I gave him fire breath so he'd forever have indigestion.

Transmuted the hell out of that guy.

>>51332849
>Jill Pouts!
Well if Todd didn't uncurse those people which sexy and incredibly clever witch did?

**Goes back inside**

>>51332883
OH THAT EXPLAINS THE DRAGON.
>>51332888
Probably you~

>>51332879
I guess it's over now

>>51332862
Met this little girl that thought she was a king. For shits and giggles I turned her into one. Those wrinkles will be forever. Take that, am I right?

>>51332859
She's always here. She's just not talking.
>Sam holds out her staff a bit.

>>51332883
>pauses... then slowly looks at Benny with a slowly forming death glare.
I...... liked.... that bubble blowing dragon.

>>51332888
**From inside** You know that you implicated either yourself or another mage that is not Todd by saying that and that i recorded that with a spell, right?

>>51332879
>Smiles
>Pats her on the back

>>51332927
Oh, really.

Well, you think my color needs work? Are you colorblind?

>>51332909
Well shit IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG!

>>51332928
Well he sure doesn't like breathing fire I can tell you that much. Took his anger out on a village or two. Poor bastards, but hey. That's transmutation for ya.

>>51332902
WHA!! JEEZ TODD! You can't just go an accuse people of stuff like that! Who do you think you are?

>>51332937
you know I just said that on purpose to have people accuse me of being sexy and clever, right? Or did i? Ohhh how clever of this sexy witch

>>51332909
**Goes back outside and cast a holding spell** Hey people, here's the asshole responsible for uncursing, do as you want with that one
**Sky goes back to normal**

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>51332973
>Throws another imp at Jill.
THIS ISN'T OVER.
Get em Scratchy!

>>51332979
How could you say that. Nobody loves cursing people more than me. Like the time I met a frog that was uplifted and said he was a prince so I turned him into a man. What greater curse is there than the burden of humanity?

>>51332991
**Catch the Imp and throw it at Benny**

>>51332991
>sighs as another imp humps her leg
please call your minion off, you've already won

>>51333012
>>51333002
>The imp lands on Benny and begins to scratch him!
>>51333027
Thats not my Imp...
Wait who's imp is that?

>>51333002
The Dragon was cursed to blow bubbles, The little girl was a king that was cursed, the prince i cursed into a frog! **punches you**

>>51333039
Sorry for that **takes the imp** I was keeping that one for a mage that went away from here for a while

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>51332958
>silently invokes daydreaming magic
Look at your self, now back to me, now back at yourself now back to me. Fortunately, you aren't me but if you were then you'd be pissed right the fuck off. Look up, now back down. You're in a cauldron of boiling adamantium for twelve hours wearing manalocks around your wrists. Back to me. I have it. what is it? It's the keys to your freedom and escape from this nightmare I'm casting on you right now wide awake.
You should never ever FUCK with a Dream Magus. Don't worry you'll be still alive while I'm awake.
I'm on a chair.

>>51332973
>Harmonica gapes at Jill, her eyes sparkling with admiration.
W-Wow... That's like... Th-Three mindgames in one!

>gives the imp crab claws the size of actual tiny crab claws
Lookit that. Cursed to heck.
>>51333046
>eats the punch
Ugh! You call those curses?! Those curses aren't philosophical in nature at all! Look at this pour imp who now can only literally play the world's smallest violin for his woes!

>>51332941
...She says it should be a more pale green, like...seafoam?

Maybe you're thinking of a brighter lime green, and she agrees that'd be terrible.

>>51333061
>Melts slowly into the pot
I don't get it.

>>51333039
seriously, please get it off, I like these shoes.

>>51333063
indeed. make sure to take notes.

Who is in favor to send Benny to the pain of Horrible Adaptive Pain, where pain is extreme yet adapt to not be defendable against? Raise your hands if you think he should pay for uncursing

>>51333059
Ok thats the second imp.
>>51333069
There's my imp.
>>51333103
So who's is...
Uh. Get off!
>The imp doesn't budge.
No its not mine...

>>51333123
you are the one who threw it at me now get
>She kicks her leg but the stubborn impkeeps at it
It
>Kick
Off!

>>51333123
The Imp that Ulmagar took was the one on Jill

>>51333087
...
>Crosses her arms
She said green, knowing her fashion sense I made an educated guess.

>>51333121
Do your worst old man! I'll transmutate the entire plane into a plane of adaptable pain if I have to!

Uhm... uh, does anyone, uhm...

Does anyone here know where the Necromancy Headmaster is? I... uh... I need his help.

>>51333147
see
>>51333148

>>51333103
Okay!

>>51333121
>Harmonica thinks.
Mindgames... Mindgames...
Oh!
What if B-Benny is actually faking it? L-Like, he's taking the blame for someone else to c-cover up something bigger?

>>51333147
Ignore then, made redundant by >>51333059

>>51333089
>continues to invoke daydreaming magic
you're not supposed to get it. Dreams are supposed to be chaotic and nonsensical. like the ones you have every night when you sleep.
>>51333157
How are you supposed make sense of it? Are you sure you're not melting? You look fine to me.

>>51333157
I'll send you to the archmage if you continue being annoying me.

>>51333173
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... you smell. I made you into smelling like a roach fungus. Oh wait I didn't cast any spells that's just you. Take that. HAH!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>51333157
>rolls for constitution to resist gagging on smell.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>51333259
>rolls dice to believe own bullshit.

>>51333259
Ack!
FUCKIN NIGHTMARES BENNY.
UASDGHASDF.
>>51333186
SYGER......*blagh*
He's broken the Daydream effect!
*wheeze*

>>51333300
Try not to throw up.

>A ripped sea-elf that stands 7' 5" walks in
>Walks in a bit buzzed
Man, that dwarf has some good stuff.
Hey guys! What's the nonsense topic of this meeting?

>>51333337
(so fucking close holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiit)
These amateurs call into question my ability to curse others.

Someone.........*hack*

get me....

Potion........ of pleasant scents.......
Please..........

*gag*
slow...... breaths......

>>51333337
I was blamed for uncursing everything and then won a duel against Jill bwcause she cheated.
>>51333364
>Throws a car airfreshner to you.

>>51333377
>sprays airfreshener right in his face

WOOOOOH.........
>Daydream effect kicks in as Enacra now has a pleasantly enticing scent wafting about the Magus.
now
*gasp* I CAN BREATHE!!!!
*deep breath*
AND I SMELL NICE!

File: 2swole2control.jpg (13KB, 236x419px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 236x419px

It was I. Mere, The Mortal.

>>51333361
Ayo, fuck them man. Your curses are the shit.
>>51333420
Asuh dude.

>>51333779

>>51333486
Really? You want to take responsibility for that? Not a good idea.

>>51333158
Okay so I have no idea where my headmaster is... um.

There's these weird little creatures that keep trying to pull me out of my bed at night, they smell a lot like rotten eggs and lavender. Can anyone help me?

>>51334342
Ah, Lazarus?

Haven't seen him today... Wait, rotten eggs and lavender? What kind of noises are they making?

>>51334374
They keep making these weird squeaking noises - but they're- they're not like mice squeaks, they're like rusted door hinge squeaks.

>>51334446
...

Are they fluffy, or slimy, or scaly or what?

File: images.jpg (5KB, 147x147px) Image search: [Google]

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See !? This is why if you hate someone you should just blow them up !
WITH FIST !

>>51334517
FIST IS A SHIT SPELL!
FIGHT ME!
>Some wiry Spanish fuck is shouting at you.

>>51334459
They're rubbery, they're like really pulled back leather.

But one of them had feathers on his head.

>>51334586
...You may have an imp infestation.

I'll go look up an exterminator, then...

>Still drinking
So, uh, what's going on again?

>>51334616
Wait, imps?

H-how'd they get in my room? Why are they coming for me?

Sorry to interrupt, but who's got an order for a twelve barrels of the Blue Mana Cocktails? Ju...
What the fuck is going on here?

>>51334738
Hey, imps are crafty shits but easy to please.

>>51334762
How do I get rid of them then? The last time something had to be exterminated in my room I had to sleep on my bed's ashes for two weeks... Any way I can get rid of them on my own?

>>51335050
Offer them stuff, man. Hold no bars.

File: download (30).jpg (12KB, 314x161px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 314x161px

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>51334567
I CAST FIST !

The broom from the janitorial closet on the 5th floor is missing.

I'm not the janitor, but I figured it should be noted because I put it there.

>>51335400
>Groans
I'll have some slides look for it.
Have we met before?

>>51335400
I struck it, and every last one of its ancestors. In my long sojourn, I have struck many things. The sun. The moon. Every last star in the sky. All in the name of my quest to acquire fortifications. The broom was not an acceptable material to fortify a structure. It perished, and though it was inadequate, it shall be honored by its people.
>He speaks in the most somber tones you have ever heard

>>51335416
>slimes, fucking new phone...

Are we sure it's not those meddlesome druids somehow circumventing our judgement? I'd not put it past the whole unwashed lot of them to find some artifice or scrap of pilfered arcana and begin restoring the "natural order" to things

>>51335455
Wait, what? What did the druids do this time?

>>51335462
Ever since that little incident with the moon my enchanted woodland animals have reported that the hippies have been in quite the mood. This is exactly the sort of juvenile behaviour I would expect from their ilk

>>51335416

We might have. I don't know, but I'm Ellen.

>>51335418

That broom housed an annoying imp that I bound to the wood, so I guess it's your problem now.

>>51335502
No. The imp was also an unsuitable fortification.

>>51335499
No, I mean, what do you think they did?
I'm a bit buzzed right now.
>>51335502
Nice to meet you. I'm Gluglobul, thinking of changing my name to Karnapala.

>>51335522

I'm sure it wasn't. I only put it there because it wouldn't leave me alone.

>>51335530

Likewise.

Don't mind my haunting places.

>>51335614
I probably won't mind.
My brothers call me a doormat when it comes to nice and beautiful people asking me things.

>>51335651

I knew a haunted doormat once, but I can't say he enjoyed it.

>>51335710
I wouldn't imagine. Even I wouldn't like to be a literal doormat.
Not enough fun, you know?

>>51335748

I think there's a metaphor to be had somewhere in this conversation.

>>51335827
I wouldn't be able to think of it at the moment.
So what did the Archmage rant about this evening?

File: 1440534189159.png (287KB, 630x960px) Image search: [Google]

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Pretty sure its just entropy.
But I suppose it could be Todds fault.

>>51335881

This evening?

Curses I believe. Someone was removing them. That was why I checked the closet.

Can someone see the future and tell us who it was, already ? There is a whole fucking divination department in this guild.

Trials are expensive as hell, and we can't exactly afford this at the moment.

>>51335890
Who are you and how did you get inside this building ? It's the MAGE guild.

>>51336279
You must be new.
I'm the Felinisian Ambassador/Spy/Guard/Visitor/Tourist Depending on your point of view and level of cynicism. I've been here for several years now.

>>51336279
Uhm...

I can SORT of look into the future, but it's a future where we don't catch them... uh, sir.

>>51336516
...
You guys are fucking useless aren't you ? Do you even know how much all that tea and pot costs us ?

>>51336300
Oh. Uuuuuh, sorry miss. That's to say.. I spend most of the time in the finance department, and...

Well, that's the reason I first went out, actually. The chests are running quite dry, and I've even been forced to burrow from extraplanars, lately. So, maybe we could all calm down on the magic duels, use less exotic materials during alchemy classes, and stop launching those damned trials once every week ?

>>51336628
I'm s-sorry sir, but I'm not... I'm not from the divination department. I think they tried to go back in time to the dinosaur age to get Eric back, and um... judging by how we noticed they left, um, I don't think they're... coming back soon.

>>51336628
Its fine, I've been away anyway.
Didn't we host a bake sale last year around this time because of the coffers running dry? Why not do that again?

Has anyone seen experiment 2-95d?
If it gets out of the compound world war 1988856720372 may happen

>>51334567
>>51335377
Consider yourself "cursed" by fist.

>>51336772

The Bards College just had a sale.

>Wakes up from a chair
Huh, what?
Oh, right.
>He stands up and stretches

File: IMG_0065.jpg (188KB, 700x933px)

188KB, 700x933px

>Is going around picking up bottles and other detritus, sighing at the mess that's been made.
Someone really needs to get this crap under control.

>>51338821
>Glug waves
Hey Hannah.
Need some help?
>Glug makes tens of little oozes and slimes that start cleaning up the trash and litter

>>51338932
It's fine. Just a penance.
>She comes back with several other bags of trash
Who knew that it wasn't sunlight that killed vampires, but the Vitamin D supplements if been pushing on them?

>Snorts
Whau-?
>Looks around
>Rubs her eyes
>Yawns
Did I fall asleep...?

>>51335400
GOD DAMN FUCKING WITCHES KEEP STEALING MUH BROOMS. GO GET YOUR OWN. FUCK.

>>51339030
Probably. But I'm guessing you were up late as well, so as long as you're rested it isn't bad.

>>51339097
Yeah, guess you've got a point.
>Shifts a bit
Did I really fall asleep reclining like this?

That can't be good for my back...

>>51339010
Vitamin D?
Makes sense, I suppose.
Though I thought you were a healer, not a destroyer.
>>51339122
You fell asleep here too?
Crazy.

>>51339122
The research is sketchy, just don't make a habit of it.
>goes back to gathering trash.
Last night must have been fun, if all this is anything to go by.

>>51339161
I mean, it was a meeting, those usually are.

>Yawns

I'm not usually in the main hall this long.

>>51339149
Yeah, G'morning.

>>51339149
I am. Why d'you think I'm being punished like this?

>>51339171
I didn't see you last night. Or at least I can't recall seeing you.
>>51339173
Well are you learning your lesson?

Yes, hello fellow mages. It is me, a mage to. Please, tell all plans for attack on the hold of GLORIOUS MAST- evil necromancer Darkus.

>>51339251
It'll probably be a test sent from the necromancy department to see if Darkus is worth inviting into their ranks.

>>51339232
Yeah. Double check my charts next time
>Grumble grumble...

>>51339323
>Ruffles her hair
Don't worry, kid.
Because now that you know you've become better at what you do.

>>51339232
I must've been asleep by the time you came in.

>>51339283
Why, yes, he is. He did not have those prostitutes killed. He was innocent. He did not use their body parts for the illegal creation of undead sex dolls.
>The smelly mages arm falls off.
Please ignore that.

>>51339472
...

EW!
>Gags in disgust

>>51339421
A shame.
It wasn't very wild when I showed up.

>>51339472
...I'm not gonna try and understand him then.

Now Albert the real question is, how far down can we go? Now we know we can bind daemons into weapons right? And that we can bind them into the individual parts of that weapon. But can we bind daemons into the individual parts of that part? And can we go deeper? Can we potentially have hundreds of daemons binded withing a single weapon, each inhabiting a small section of it?

>>51339553
Because everyone was sleeping?

Sorry about that, I guess?

>>51339651
Why would you do that?

>>51339686
Magic isn't about why! Its about why not!

>>51339725
Like why bind demons into weapons when we can TURN THEM INTO WEAPONS

>>51339651
Wait, can't you guys have hundreds of demons just bound to a blade? I swear I've heard of a blade like that.

>>51339686
People were up, just no real party.

>>51339725
>>51339856
You're all insane.

>>51339860
Sorry, then.

>>51339870
Don't worry, you can pay me back with the museum trip.
>He winks

>>51339870
And you lack imagination

>>51339870
Hghhhhh you sound like my ex wife!

>>51339910
>Smiles
>Winks back
Which reminds me! I... Am still working on what to wear...

>>51339911
I'm not stuffing demons into things!

>>51339929
Who would marry you?

>>51339958
If you want... I have a dress you can wear.
I wouldn't be able to show you now though.

>>51339958
Mail order gnome brides.

>>51340026
>Gasps
Is it a pretty dress?

>>51340027
>Ponders
>Looks over him
>Measures him
>Holds her hands out to eyeball a gnome-sized measurement
>Cringes
EW!

>>51340135
>shrug
We all have our fetishes.

*snores*

>>51340135
Yeah.
Actually, I can mentally show you from my memories.
>Mentally transmits the image into her head
>http://matrimonialblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/bengali-saree-400x600.jpg
>Woman not included in mental image
>>51340198
>Slaps the back of his head
Wake up man.

>>51340191
Ew ew ew ew ew!

>>51340209
Oooh. It's pretty. Is it what people usually wear on dates here?

I have managed to tone down the tiger's demonic babbling, but the universal truths do not stop.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>51340209
DAMMIT GLUG, I WAS INVESTIGATING THE CURSE/UNCURSE SHENANIGANS.
>Fires off another Arcane Explosion with his yelling.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>51340229
Not really, no.
It's not Tijian at the very least.
>>51340267
Does it just spout out truths randomly?
>>51340289
>Tries to defend from the explosion using slime magic

>>51339958
I ain't stuffin nothing! I'm turning the demons INTO weapons! It skips a step entirely.

>>51340341
>Flies from the force, destroyed clothes and blackened skin & hair from the chest up
Remind me why I thought that was a good idea.

>>51340341
Oh? Where's it from?

>>51340362
That's not better.

>>51340376
>Gets up and brushes himself off
It's a traditional dress from an ancient, lost civilization.

>>51340341
Yes, it does, unfortunately. I cannot choose what about, or even if it's useful. Last thing it said was something about using brown sugar to kill kobolds.

That's funny, that king kind of reminds me of a little girl who needed a scroll of dispel curse for her old father a few years back. Kind of like a reverse of the circumstances.

>>51340376
Think of the efficiency!

>>51340429
Hm... directly or indirectly?

>>51340440
Wait, a king that's a little girl? Why does that...
>He makes a sudden realization

>>51340426
Oh, wow, that's so generous of you!

>>51340445
...
>Groans
>Rubs her temples

>>51340429
Brown sugar kills kobolds?

>>51340375
>groggily gets up
because....*yawn*.. you thought Dream wizards/magi are more useful when they're awake.

>>51340465
Directly, if some form of poisoning can count as directly.
>>51340470
If the tiger is to be believed, then yes. Originally I made it to sniff out whoever it was uncursing things, but instead of finding truth it just spits it out.

>>51340470
Well I'M not going to wear it.

>>51340473
Hm... Yeah, you'd think I would have realized the opposite.

>>51340511
Damn, so you can poison kobolds with brown sugar.
What about cane sugar?

>>51340511
...Those poor kobolds

>>51340538
>Giggles at the mental image

>>51340538
Well, it's spitting out this information randomly, so I'm uncertain we'll find out anytime soon.

>>51340591
I mean if you want...
>He chuckles

>>51340594
Have you tried asking it something?

>>51340538
>>51340591
At least it's miles more modest than the dresses I've seen people themselves wear while they're in their own dreams.

which kinda reminds me of what I was supposed to remember while I was dreaming before Glug woke me up.

>>51340465
Oh, well... I DIDN'T give up that scroll, that's for sure. Must have been some other wizard in the confectionery department, I can't seem to remember.

Greetings, fellow hashkya... uh, how do you say... Magic... Mages. Has any person of you seen the bags of Glow-cactus blood that were on my wood-table? Burgund is in need for important mage-ritual.

>>51340649
What is it?

>>51340655
What scroll?

Why am I asking so many questions!?

>>51340649
W-well, what kind of dresses do you see people wear?
>Desperately hopes he has not peeked in on her dress fantasies

>>51340627
>Ponders
>Giggles harder

>>51340627
I tried, I did. However then it just responded in whatever outer-plane demon babble it speaks in before saying something about souffles cooked by using a fire slime.

>>51340591
They can never taste how good brown sugar is without dying, how sad.

>>51340683
No scroll, that's just it. Nothing. Carry on.

>>51340687
Wouldn't be the first time.

>>51340688
Have you tried translating what it said? Maybe it only gives answers that are asked for in demonic.

>>51340730
...Yep. I didn't hear anything. Nope, no scroll.

>>51340798
I'll go and translate the beast's babbling, and ask it something in demonic.
>He walks off to where he came from.

>>51340683
ugh.... can't remember. fucking nightmares. that crucial tidbit must've been eaten by a dream eater when you woke me up. However the bits and pieces that I do remember.... there's been a new development.
There's a pair of warring kingdoms about a third across the continent. You know the time we cursed the two countries where their armor gets turned into skimpy paper armor and their weapons replaced with rubber chickens? Yeah, the weapons part of curse got undone. And it turned into a bloodbath. and I mean literally. The battlefield was waist deep in blood. It was NOT a pretty sight.
>>51340687
a weird mix of extremes. Opulent yet skimpy. Some of them strangely have a huge fixation on wearing almost nothing but ribbons or belts. There was one there a girl decided to wear nothing but a plastic bag.
>Mentally astroprojects an example of dream fashion to Carmina. http://danbooru.donmai.us/data/sample/__shimamura_uzuki_7_eleven_idolmaster_and_idolmaster_cinderella_girls_drawn_by_ginko_silver_fox__sample-cc69cd9b7058205097cade79270c0be3.jpg

>>51340688
Truly a tragedy.

>>51340798
>Stops giggling
>Stares
>Jaw drops

>>51340954
>Blushes
B-b-b-b-but why?!