Oh shit it's a castle thread

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Do you guys like castles

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Original formula, before FDA regulations forced everything to get huge

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Simple Castles: for when you need to throw up a quick fuck-you to the mongols

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One of my favorites. Siege Armies BTFO

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An Anon in the thread I stole this from pointed out how useless the siege towers were

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I should have made this thread when all the burgers were still awake. They love castles cause they don't have any

>>51330822
They would be actively counterproductive. The attackers are lugging around heavy towers that can't even reach the tops of the walls.

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>>51330845
Even if you put miniature catapults in them what's the point

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>>51330841
All we got are these shitty water forts

>>51330939
Nvr forget

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>>51330939
To your credit your guys most famous castle was a church in texas and you somehow held out with 14 settlers and maniac in a coonskin hat

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Ridiculous castles are still castles

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>>51330841
It's true. My retirement dream is to get something built by the people over at http://www.castlemagic.com/ to hold games and parties in while lording it over the countryside.
Pic related, it's one they did.

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>>51331024
The mexican-american war was a mistake

>>51330677
looks pretty comfy not going to lie desu

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>>51331091
Beautiful. Bonus points if you buy the surrounding land and force people to pay you taxes in wheat

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Island castles are the best castles.

>>51331097
>this kills the Mexican

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>>51331157
But then I gotta get an heir and a standing force of men at arms to keep peace and all that work...
But then again I do own a little land in Scotland...

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This next one's a five-parter

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>>51331233

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>>51331254

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>>51331285

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>>51331218
It's like the book "if you give a mouse a cookie"
>If you build yourself a manor, then you have to build walls
>If you build walls, then you have to dig a moat
>If you dig a moat, then you need a drawbridge
Pretty soon your little patch in scotland looks like Minas Tirith

>>51330773
That's more a citadel than a castle.

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>>51331233
>>51331254
>>51331270
>>51331285
>>51331303

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>>51331351
I'm going to need some good neighbors then...
Interested in becoming a Liard? https://www.highlandtitles.com/

>>51331285
>trebuchet on a rook
For what purpose.

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>>51330597

>>51330859
Jesus Christ, imagine having to commute daily from top to bottom and back.

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>>51331384
>The Everlasting Gift of Scottish Land
I'm more interested than I have any right to be

>>51331429
So that nobody can set up camp nearby without your permission.

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>>51331303
You missed one.

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>>51331461

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>>51331501
Holy shit, thank you anon, had no idea my collection was incomplete

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If Nazgul taught us anything, it's that flying creatures beat fortifications
>You see Ivan, walls are useless if you eat everyone manning them

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Really giant things in general make for great siege-breakers

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Does anyone have that pic where some imperial soldiers from WHFB are looking over the battlements and a greater demon is scaling the wall towards them?

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>>51330597
>civilization don't rise and fall under the shadow of your castle
>your castle's garden isn't the schwartzwald
>the lord of all death doesn't live in your backyard
>your court alchemist isn't a dragon
>you don't have an indiana jones temple as a portcullis
>your castle isn't held up by the a physical manifestation of laws of eternal recurrence
Why even bother having one desu.

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>>51331706

>>51330597
I like how the parishioners leaving church must pass the gibbet to get home.

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If you can't tell, I'm kinda scrapping the bottom of the folder at this point

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>besiege any fortress in china
>wacky asian hijinks ensue

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Again, I know these aren't the best castle pictures, I'm looking for another folder where more sweet, sweet castles might be found

>>51331976
The effort is much appreciated.

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Found It, we're back in business

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If the castles in your setting aren't full of mud you're not doing it right

>>51331024
>maniac in a coonskin hat
thems fightan words, son