Cheating in MTG

>>51238355

>Years and years ago.
>Settling down to play magic tournament.
>Guy I'm playing is like a caricature of a /tg/ fatbeard
>I think I can actually see flies buzzing around him.
>Stench is like a physical wave.
>Ask him what the fuck, because I was like 12 or 13 and had yet to grasp how to be subtle.
>He never had either, and smugly grins, and says that he never showers for about a week before tournaments, because it causes people to forfeit games against him.

>>51238411
>strategy
>cheating
Learn the difference.

>>51238411
It should really count as a loss or be grounds for disqualification if someone pulls that shit.

>>51238355
>Matched against some asberger
>First round drags out pretty long, we both are trying to-out control each other but I eke out a victory
>Second round I get mana screwed, he wins pretty quickly
>He extends his hand, "good game", Starts packing up his shit
>Argue for 5 minutes that that was only the 2nd round.
>"whatever you say, we could play a 4th"
>Puts me on tilt, end up losing anyways.

>>51238355
I used to peek at the bottom card of my opponent's deck while shuffling and make sure it was important before sending it back to them.

Then some pro got caught for doing almost the exact same thing and banned for 4 years.

I stopped.

>>51238411
>>51238691
CALL A JUDGE

>>51238355
I once accidentally cheated in a casual EDH game. My deck ran both Twincast and Redirect and they both have a similar art by glance, along with the same mana cost so I accidentally cast my Redirect as Twincast and nobody noticed. Later I drew my actual copy of Twincast, realised my mistake and just decided to never cast it so others wouldn't notice my mistake.

>>51238622
Yet somehow there'd be an exception for smokers.

>>51239047
Yes, because nonsmokers are giant whiny bitches about smoking. As an ex-smoker I get game breaking nicotine cravings whenever anyone smokes or smells like smokes. I even have a legitimate reason to tell then to Fuck off. I dont because I believe people should do what they want, and cancer is a fine punishment for smelling disgusting.

>>51239105
Stop being such a giant whiny bitch about your cravings.

>I believe people should do what they want,
I want to tell smokers to fuck off. Thanks for the endorsement.

>and cancer is a fine punishment for smelling disgusting.
Or being fool enough to play against a smoker?

>>51239149
If you had reasonable expectations and a nondraconian understanding of social interaction it would be an issue, but as evidenced by your post, you're going to be a hypochondriac about anything and shouldn't be taken seriously.

>>51238355
>Have you ever seen someone cheat in Magic?
Not personally, no. I have however told opponents to not put all their lands in a single pile on top of each other when tapping and such because that makes it extremely hard to keep track of how much mana they tapped for and even how many lands they have in play.

If they didn't stop after I called them a little butt monkey I'd call a judge.

>>51239236
>i am allowed to complain about smokers, but no one else is

>>51239047
>>51239149
Have you ever played magic? Rules lawyers would take it way too far all the time.

>"JUUUUDGE! This guy stepped out side and walked within 15 meters of a guy smoking a cigarette, I demand he be disqualified with extreme prejudice."

>>51238850
>I once accidentally cheated in a casual EDH game
You can't accidentally cheat. Cheating is defined by intent in MtG.

This also means that it's technically possible to play perfectly correct according to the rules but still receive a game loss or disqualification due to cheating if it turns out that you thought you didn't but went with it still because it was beneficial to you.

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>>51239293
And yet, instead of acting like a reasonable person, you sarcastically greentext, proving with absolute finality that you're a child and should not be taken seriously.

>>51239318
I'm willing to have a reasonable discussion if you are, but I don't expect you to engage anyone seriously based on the fact that you've done nothing but put others down.

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>>51239318
>I realized that my point is retarded but I'm still going to be smug and mock him for fucking greentexting on 4chan

>>51239455
Don't be too harsh, his smoker lungs keep his brain from getting enough oxygen.

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>>51239374
>based on the fact that you've done nothing but put others down.
Wow, look at this, someone bitching about smoking is a fancy nancy boy who whines about being insulted on an anonymous image board.

>>51239307
>Cheating is defined by intent in MtG.
Technically false.

>if it turns out that you thought you didn't but went with it still because it was beneficial to you.
Actually even if you played correctly and knew you were playing correctly you still could get a DQ for cheating.

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>>51239374
Alright, I'm game.

Premise: Smoking in moderation is fine and should be allowed in Magic tournaments.

Supporting point 1: Assuming smoking is done outside in moderation, there is little impact on either player, other than a moderately unpleasant smell. This is not analogous to someone who hasn't showered for weeks, or is visibly filthy because it is assumed that they have otherwise good hygiene.

Supporting Point 2: By codifying a rule against smokers, people are going to abuse that rule, making it extend to anyone who smells like cigarettes. This will create an inherently biased system against anyone who lives with a smoker, or has to walk by smokers to play magic, since there is no way of determining whether someone who smells like cigarettes actually smokes, because the smell is the bigger issue.

>>51239711
>Assuming smoking is done outside in moderation, there is little impact on either player, other than a moderately unpleasant smell.
Wrong. Second hand smoke kills.

>This is not analogous to someone who hasn't showered for weeks, or is visibly filthy because it is assumed that they have otherwise good hygiene.
The smoker is literally a health hazard. The unhygienic player is just unpleasant. Don't shake their hand, don't let them shuffle your deck, and they aren't a health hazard, unlike the smoker.

>This will create an inherently biased system against anyone who lives with a smoker, or has to walk by smokers to play magic,
Immigration systems are inherently biased against perfectly innocent and good people who just happen to live in shithole countries. Yet nobody in their right mind is opposed to them. Because we don't want that shit here and having a policy that ignores that will kill people here.

>>51239590
If you want others to have a real discussion with you instead of flinging fallacies and insults around you're going to have to extend the same courtesy to them.

>>51239793
You realize that secondhand smoke is being around a smoker WHILE they're smoking, right?

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>>51239793
>Wrong. Second hand smoke kills.
Irrelevant to the premise. Smoking is unhealthy. Second hand smoking is unhealthy. The supporting point stated that smoking in moderation outside was acceptable by virtue of common by-law.

>The smoker is literally a health hazard. The unhygienic player is just unpleasant. Don't shake their hand, don't let them shuffle your deck, and they aren't a health hazard, unlike the smoker.
Purple rhetoric, appeal to emotion. Has nothing to do with the argument being presented.

>Immigration systems are inherently biased against perfectly innocent and good people who just happen to live in shithole countries. Yet nobody in their right mind is opposed to them. Because we don't want that shit here and having a policy that ignores that will kill people here.
Non-sequitur, appeal to emotion, appeal to authority, purple rhetoric. Please address the central point in the argument and each supporting point.

I'm kind of disappointed, I had hoped you took at least 1 course on formal argumentation. I even separated it into premise and supporting points for easy reading.

>>51239850
Actually 48% of harmful smoke lingers, much of it longer than the detectable smell even.

>>51239870
The supporting points are both wrong, as was explained to you and as you had no rebuttal for, and the baseless premise is wrong and rationally invalid.

>>51238355
Used to play EDH against a guy that would stack his deck using an easy to see shuffling trick to look at what he was shuffling and position it higher up, was incredibly upset when confronted about it.

I would also cheat all the time when playing against my younger brothers, by stacking their decks for them

>Autism, the thread

>>51239881
Sure, but you're telling me somebody going and smoking outside in a secluded area and then walking inside carries enough harmful smoke to constitute secondhand smoke?

>>51239870
I don't know who you are currently debating with, but I am >>51239374

Personally I agree that smoking should be allowed during magic tournaments, with the condition that it only be done outside. Based on your previous posts I had assumed that you were opposed to smoking at tournaments due to issues with your cravings.

>>51239904
>asiangirlslaughing.jpeg
Look anon, I know you're kiddie shoes, but if you want to formally argue with someone, read this chart. You aren't allowed to do anything contained in this chart when arguing, and you need to make sure you address the central point in each argument if you want a serious reply.

>t. someone with a degree in bullshit

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>>51239948

>>51239947
I'm glad to see we're on the same page. I don't care if people smoke, as long as they're smoking outside, and they don't have a pocket full of dirty relights.

>>51239948
>>51239966
>implying anything I said was in that pic not a chart

>>51239947
>>51240008

I'd add the provisio 'Between matches'. No taking up time to go have a smoke break. Still, if it's outside/they are not smoking something that will fuck them up I don't care too much.

>>51240024
Anon, I specifically outlined which fallacies, though that chart doesn't include non-sequitur, which refers to subsequent points being irrelevant to the actual argument, or not directly related to the premise being presented, and purple rhetoric, which is writing intentionally flowery things for an appeal to emotion.

>>51240045
Completely reasonable, I agree with that entirely, assuming "between matches" means at the completion of their match before the next round begins.

>>51240045
I would have to read the tournament guidelines again to remind myself what the procedures are for when someone needs to leave in the middle of a match, but I think it's reasonable to not make exceptions for smoke breaks. I despise people who act like they are entitled to take smoke breaks from anything at any time.

>>51240065

Yeah, that. As long as it's not 'Hey, I'll take my turn right after I have a 5 min smoke break'. As that's time wasting and these things are on a schedule.

>all these autists going on about smokers
>because the bag of doritos and bottle of pop are better for you than smoking

>>51240097
Correct.

>>51240047
>Anon, I specifically outlined which fallacies,
Yeah, I know, I can read. Strawman.

>>51239870
>>51239948
>>51239966
lmao
1. fallacies belong in science and formal oxford debates, not discussing smoking on fucking 4chan of all places
2. you have just committed the fallacy fallacy
3. your entire supporting point 2 is ridiculous slippery slope bullshit with no grounds in reality. smoking is not allowed in most restaurants, and yet smokers are allowed to enter as long as they don't smoke inside. it would obviously be the same with tournaments.

I don't even have a side in this discussion but I just can't handle this amount of pretentious reddit bullshit in one place

>>51240097
When I smell your doritos and pop, I feel hungry/thirsty.

When I smell your smoke, I'm being poisoned.

>>51240097
well they probably don't cause literal cancer in you and everyone around you so that's one difference

Last night at prerelease played a guy. He's a regular and does magic a lot at the store.- I am not. I am more a casual player.
His deck is vastly superior to mine and he thumps me.
Next match I luckily get the prefect hand and play(s) AND my opponent gets mana screwed. I win- but still struggle (cause my deck is shit) even with the advantage!
Very worried about last match because the chances are good that I will lose.

Guy must be demoralized to something, and says "Grats that's game"
I pause then reply "Don't we have another match?"
He says "No you won two"
Not sure if I asked a second time, but being the greedy fuck I am, don't press the issue too hard and say thanks for the game and report my win.

Went 4-1 because of this guy and an earlier bye round. Guy goes 3-2.
Feel guilty? But I did Ask?

Awaiting judgement.

>>51240135
Non-sequitur! Appeal to emotion! Purple rhetoric! Haven't you even taken 1 course on formal argumentation kiddie?

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>>51240122
>my sides
Still not an argument. Google Argumentation Theory, and you can use the information not only to call people idiots more effectively, but also get better grades in school.

>>51240179
Maybe he was right and there was another game you won but forgot about? Can happen if you're feeling worried.

>>51240181
There's a difference between formal and informal arugments anon. Presenting premises with supporting points is formal argumentation and requires a step by step deconstruction. Just stating something on the internet requires an informal response, and thus formal rules of argumenation aren't applicable, which means that you can point out the logical fallacies, but it has no effect beyond pointing it out. In a formal argument, logical fallacies disqualify your argument, and require correction before your argument is going to be considered.

>>51240241
Non-sequitur.

>>51240184
>>51240181
tu quoque, fallacy fallacy, hypocrisy

>>51240287
See, you're getting better. If you really wanted to rustle my jimmies you would say that it's an appeal to authority because I'm using the formal rules of argumentation to validate my argument.

Many logical fallacies can be applicable, it's more important to know which one is the most obvious, and which will produce the most salt.

>>51240327
>If you really wanted to rustle my jimmies you would say that it's an appeal to authority because I'm using the formal rules of argumentation to validate my argument.
Wrong is wrong. Anything more specific is trivial.

>>51240342
black-or-white, appeal to emotion

>>51240342
>Anything more specific is trivial.
Well, depends on how much of a shit disturber you are. I've seen people crumble in formal debates because people call them on their shit, explain it, then they spend the whole time arguing about why they didn't commit a fallacy, instead of actually presenting an argument.

>>51240179
Players are allowed to concede at any time (except for after winning). If you asked him something along the lines of "Are you sure?" and he said something along the lines of "Yes." then everything is kosher. He conceded the third game.

>>51239263
God that's the most annoying shit. Why do people even do it if not to cheat?

>>51239263
>>51240428
I had an opponent do the stacking lands thing and generally messing about with them, then tapped a bunch for an expensive spell and the handful left over for a cheap spell. I counted, and he'd tapped one too few for the big spell.

I pointed it out, he fixed it and had to skip the cheap spell. Mistake or intentional? I think it was deliberate, but no proof.

>>51240135
High fructose corn syrup causes cancer. Albeit just in you and not those who don't eat/drink it

>>51238355
Honestly, yeah. I often cheat in casual games when my deck just wont get running, just to keep games interesting. I make stupid gimmicky decks, and I still lose even when I cheat a lot of the time.
Also at a prerelease one time I needed a specific card or I would lose the next turn, I saw it was on the bottom of my deck and snuck it into my hand when nobody was looking, winning the match and cheating the guy out of a pack. I honestly feel awful about doing it but I can never admit to it for fear of being banned.

>>51240494
And forcing your opponent to consume it would get you DQ'd.

Finally we have an accurate analogy!

>>51240428
OCD is my guess. All those cards sitting on the playmat at random angles and distances from each other.

>>51240485
A lot of people play magic stoned, and when you're Stoned you do tend to make more genuine mistakes

>>51240503
>I honestly feel awful about doing it but I can never admit to it for fear of being banned.
Then why did you do it?

>>51240518
Well no lol, the smell from smoke doesn't give cancer just the smoke itself, so if they go outside away from you that's entirely reasonable

>>51240544
Bad impulse control.

>>51240531
This guy was a smoker, not a stoner.

>>51240531
Very true. Onetime I drafted a full playset of lightning axes thinking they were lava axes. I felt like a tard when my opponent told me.

>>51240570
Poor anon...

>>51239966
>appeal to emotion
Literally pathos, one of the cores of rhetoric. The rest are fine though.

>>51240367
Middle ground fallacy.

>>51239793
>second hand smoke kills
Literal meme.

>>51241245
Rhetoric is based around captivating and convincing audiences, logical fallacies are based around pointing out false jumps in logic.

You can have amazing speaking skills and make an audience cry and empathize through your emotional rhetoric, that doesn't mean that what you're saying is logical or correct.

>>51241366
Appeal to ridicule.

>>51240428
I sort of do it in a couple of my EDH decks, because I wind up having 15+ basics of the same type on the field, so I put those in a stack by themselves. I always make a point to count out how many I have on my upkeep and very deliberately separate them into stacks when I tap them, i.e. picking up the stack and counting them like bills.

Never had any complaints, and when people want to know how many lands I have open, I tell them.

>>51240503
>Builds bad decks
>cheats
>STILL looses
/tg/

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ITT

>>51238355
Depends - would you qualify throwing a game for prize split (or other compensation) as cheating ?

>>51238355
Worse! Much, much worse!


I play dredge.
In. Every. Format.

When I was playing Pokémon tcg I used to put energy upside-down so I could tell if my next draw card was marked or not.

Then I thought about it and realized I pretty much never gained an advantage from the extra information and stopped.

>>51238355
>Have you ever seen someone cheat in Magic?
>Have you ever done it yourself?
Yes, I netdeck all the time.

>>51240367
>black-or-white
Sorry, forgot reality is a spectrum.

>>51240368
Ditto. I've even encountered it here.

>>51242971
hello desolator

>>51238355
What ever happened to Jackie Lee? Was she banned? Or has she just not done anything notable now that people are suspicious of her?

>>51243925
She was picked by WOTC to represent "the community" in the MTGO Community Cup and then employed as a Magic developer and designer.

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Have a story was some scumfag cheated against me in a pptq
>Be in round 6
>Have 2 losses, but can still make top 8 long as I win next 3 rounds
>Have confidence in my brew, long as I don't go against ramp, worst match up for me with Ugin around
>3rd game of the match, against azorius control
>Poking him down slowly with deathmist raptor and 2 goblin tokens
>Only thing sustaining him is a single sheep that gains him 1 life per turn and blocks one of my gobbos
>Get him down low enough that if he blocks a goblin, I can atarka command and win game game exact, especially since he tapped out previous turn to draw stuff.
>Go in for the swing, he declares blockers, goblin like always and DM and other ones going through.
>Alright, go for my spell in hand, pick up my hand and look for the a command and cast it.
>Look back at board.
>His sheep is no longer on gob but on deathmist raptor, which makes no sense cause that would mean voluntarily killing your sheep and he already declared blocker on goblin
>I'm like WTF, I even checked with him that he blocked the gob to make sure I had leathal.
>Now this asshole lives with 2 health
>Try to get a judge but he tells me he can't do anything cause the boardstate dictates he blocked raptor, and I can't even call back my a-command cause it technically is still legal to cast it, which I would have held back on if he did block raptor initially to make sure I don't get screwed by lifegain effects of he had any
>So ginormous faggot takes his turn, and oh, looks there, top decks resolute archangel, going from 2 to 20 life.
My anger was immeasurable that day as he got back into the game cause control does that late game and I ended up having to scrub out round 6 cause of his shit.
He then promptly loses his next round and drops as well, I mean if your going to cheat at least win asshole.

>>51238355
get high on shrooms

We have this neckbeard judge at our lgs, weird guy. He keeps cracking horrible puns but never laughs at other people's jokes and has a habit of randomly ignoring what somebody said for no reason. Whenever I play against him he always has this super serious monitoring look on his face and it makes me sweat bullets because I feel like he will ban me any moment for shuffling the wrong way or whatnot and I end up messing up steps (draw before untap etc) out of stress.

>>51241711
My friends all know I cheat, and they cheat too. None of us really care.

In high school there was a kid with a vampire deck who always opened with the same hand. It was so obvious, and, whenever we called him on it, he would through a fit and pout for a while. He was annoying.

Most cheating I ever did was, if I happened to catch a glance at a good card at the bottom of my deck whilst ruffle shuffling (honestly always accidentally), if I was already gearing up to stop shuffling, I'd throw in a "good measure" overhand shuffle at the end.

Sometimes this assured my own defeat.

Be me a 38 year old retired Marine. Rarely play MTG played a lot in high school in 1990s. My son talks me into playing in a booster draft. Win first game. Win second game. 12 year old boy I am playing against simply lies to obese neckbeard comic shop guy/event coordinator that is entering results into computer. I ask why I have a recorded lost? Comic Shop guy says he can't change results once entered.

I confront 12 year old boy. He says He forgot. I Want to beat the boy. Former Marine beats 12 year old cheater. City throws parade.

Instead I stayed in the match and managed to come in 3rd place beating the cheater (who I supervised all his win reporting by walking next to him).

Some guy recently got caught cheating at my FLGS at the prerelease.
Who cheats at a prerelease? Honestly?
His sealed pool had (at least) 20 non-foil uncommons in it.

This same guy a few years ago was accusing a new player of cheating at a prerelease "because too many of his rares were on color"

This same guy has also told me about how he's "been watching guides on how to cheat shuffle people's decks to give them a bad start" whilst he's shuffling my deck.
"But don't worry, I wouldn't really do that"

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People who responds to arguments with claims of logical fallacies should be fucking shot.

It's like when you're having a conversation with someone and they decide to just spout random memes when they realize they can't argue back.

>>51245993
>It's like when
No, it literally is when

>>51238411
this reminds me of the story of a dude that marked certain cards with his face grease. Someone please post it if you have it screenshotted

>>51243880
What's up dude. Remember to boycott Aether Revolt because it's overpowered, and banning Smuggler's Coptor was the worst thing to happen to magic.

>>51238355
A friend of mine kept trying to draw extra cards when I was looking at my hand. I was brand new at the game, and he was a self-proclaimed """expert""" in magic. I think he got off on trying to whip my ass in magic any chance he could get, but now I have grown stronk!

>>51245993
>>51246059
>Man this one magic card is really overpowered because of x, y, and z.
>"Ya, but have you ever considered the socio-political implications of that magic card? You know, as they start printing magic cards like that, they're really catering to the masses and perpetrating a certain political agenda. It's almost like they haven't though about all the millions of dying children in africa. You only think that one card is overpowered because of this magical christmasland scenario."
Yes, because pointing out straight bullshit is wrong, and you need to respond to all the nonsense contained in those posts, particularly when you've formatted things very clearly.

>>51246156
It's amusing that King and Kang of Meletis is actually a group hug card, making it worthless.

>>51243880
not thread related, but his last prerelease video is fucking gold; it basically goes:
>I can't build a deck out of a limited pool
>just jammed a bunch of green 2/2's because most of my cards were green
>got rekt
>EVERYONE had a bad time because the cards are bad and the set is just shitty with bad mechanics and wotc can't build a proper set for shit reeeeee

>>51246210
Holy fuck, as a native EDH poster, that card has caused tidalwaves of shitposting. It literally doesn't matter, it isn't very good, but for like 2 months it was all anyone talked about.

>>51246238
Because homoniggers?

>>51246278
Yes. That's the only reason people talked about it at all. No one even builds them anymore.

>>51245993
Logical fallacies are just a way to point out bullshit. Even if people wouldn't point them out, you'd still be an idiot. Unless you actually want people to get away with being wrong and spreading misinformation more often, I don't see how you could have an issue with pointing out logical fallacies.

>>51246238
I hope they make a gay/trans card that's both overpowered and politically incorrect. Then I'll have some respect for them.

Make the next Dark Confidant a trans whore or the next Snapcaster a gay who thinks women should be seen and not heard. None of this faggy Group Hug crap.

>>51246311
Ad hom

>>51238411

Shit that never happened.

>>51246373
Man, you're so butthurt about it you're still replying?

That's hilarious, at least now you know why it's so effective.

>>51246388
>implying it's effective

>>51245993

Gonna guess you're someone who's not hot on logic and gets called out for making bullshit arguments all the time. It's the most likely explanation for all your salt.

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>>51246409
Logical fallacy, strawman through passive aggressive retort.

>>51245993
You shouldn't just respond to something with "Ad hom" like that's the entire argument, but saying "Your argument is flawed because it relies on Ad Homenium to make your case, and if you didn't personally attack me then you wouldn't have a leg to stand on." is different.

>>51246427
>greentext
>passive aggressive
It's closer to sarcasm.

>>51246378
You'd be surprised

>>51246462
Anon, sarcasm is the pinnacle of passive aggression. You literally state the opposite of your intended argument and convince people it's ridiculous through dismissive tone.

>>51246156
using some gay fucking chart of link to "logical fallacies" to argue on a polynesian whittling assembly makes it look like you have no argument so you resort to poking holes in what someone else said.

It's also an appeal to authority

>>51246477
Of course you do.

>>51246482
Yes, but that has nothing to do with anything.

Why would you poke holes in someone's reply when it's the equivalent of a really weird mad-lib?

>>51246482
Appeal to emotion.

>>51246278
Because MTG threads are being overrun by people with an agenda instead of people who play the game.
Protip: if you can only think of one such agenda, you are part of the problem.

>>51246223
Will this guy ever be happy? he seems to be the DSP of mtg.

>>51246482
Appeal to Authority is only a fallacy if you're appealing to the wrong authority. For instance, asking a pastor about their expertise on female reproductive systems for an argument on abstinence.

Referring to a chart specifically designed to outline logical fallacies in order to point out a logical fallacy isn't an appeal to authority.

>>51246613
Read your own chart and stop making an ad hom of yourself.

>>51246671
Look, anon, if you're going to refer to the chart and start spewing it like you know what you're talking about, why not research the topic and become educated in it, so you can actually know what you're talking about? I'm sure it will help you in your program.

>>51240428
I'm used to playing in small tables.

>>51246613
It's not a chart.

>>51246694
>>51246671
>>51246613
>>51246482
>>51246156
>>51245993
>>51246059
>>51241409
>>51241245
>>51239966
>>51239948
>>51239904
>>51239870
>>51239793
>>51239711
>>51239374
>>51239318
>>51239293
>>51239236
thanks for shitting the thread, autists

>>51246694
Moving the goalposts, rhetoric, ad hom.

>>51238411
>playing against Pudge
He's not a baby, you can't keep him down

>>51241687
I do it like this in EDH too. In actual tournaments, though, I prefer keeping all my lands separate so everyone can see things clearly.

I referred to Yaheeni as a guy and it put someone on tilt.

>>51247026
I referred to Yahenni as a Protoss and it put someone on tilt.

>>51247065
I referred to Alesh as a guy and when someone got on tilt I said sorry and from them on used "it".

>>51247124
I don't believe this one is true.

>>51239236

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. It's like a child picking up a mallet because it's a tool, and then trying to bash screws into a board. Only the mallet is a polysyllabic words and the board is a conversation.

The hamfisted verbose garbage you typed on your computer literally makes me want to die. Please attempt some semblance of speaking in the vernacular, you sound like an 8th grader with a thesaurus.

>>51247201
You're right. I'd like to trigger people like that but I'm too much of a coward.

>>51246767
here I'll contribute
>anyone ever deal with cheaters?
>this one time I was playing at my LGS, it's the only one in a 500 mile radius so it's my only option
>I was playing against this shitty kid, he's the owner's wife's son so I can't be mean to him or they'll kick me out
>He cheats constantly and is a big shit
>he's also paraplegic and has cerebral palsy
>he plays McFighter using TWO WOODS when everyone knows it costs THREE SKULLS
>I call him out on this shit
>no anon they updated the errata I know my dad works at Nintendo
>Then he pulls his dick out and pees on my cards
>I'm like wtf but everyone just puts up with it I don't want to cause a scene
>he wins the tournament just like everytime fml rite guys?

>>51247641
>Woods
>SKULLS
>retarded nicknames for cards
Your story is probably a fucked up fantasy anyway but this makes you a retard either way.

>>51241904
No its match fixing and may be illegal or at the very least grounds for being banned

>>51249593
>and may be illegal
idiot

>>51240570
You should not be playing magic

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>>51238355
>Be at MTG tourny
>Almost losing only have 4 HP left
>While the judges and the guy I am dueling against looks the other way
>I whip out my peepee and spray hot love goo all over his cards
>The judge couldnt tell what was wrong with his creature cards because they look like white versions of Eldrazi
>He gets banned for using fake cards
>He looks back at me tears running down his eyes
>His quickly picked up cards sticking together like a Roast-beef and Swiss sandwich
> He shook his fist at me passionately striking an anime pose before leaving

Then I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep while watching Evangellion and making a card list for a test deck... Weird...

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>>51247641
> My dad works at Nintendo
My fucking sides XD

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>>51238355
>Come to thread expecting some decent stories
>Just filled with faggots arguing about smoking

>>51244193
Thats obvious cheating though, did you sperg out when you told the judge? I wouldn't have moved on until that issue was resolved, if it was a big event you should have appealed.

>>51245330
My lgs never lets the loser report for this exact reason.

>>51245993
I miss implying. Those arguments were at least colorful.

> Implying this thread is about magic.

>>51252935
How did we even get to the state we're in?
It's sad.

>>51238411
I wrestled in high school and I didn't bathe for a week before matches for the exact same reason. It works.

I haven't played Magic for years, but I'm positive one of the kids in that group cheated every single time by shuffling it funny.

>>51252526
Here, I'll try to contribute:
There was once a guy at our old LGS that in EDH tournaments would regularly, and I mean at least once a game sometimes more, stack all his lands on top of each other and miraculously get more lands in play than we all thought he did (or could) have. This fucking yokel also would just palm a card or two throughout the game off the top of his deck when the opponent was not paying attention (phone, friend walking up, looking over at a commotion, asking a judge a question, whatever). There were at least 5 of us that saw him do these in multiple tournaments but the store owner never did anything. When the 2nd card shop opened up here and we all flocked there (entire laundry list of reasons to abandon the first one but that's an entire thread on its own), naturally we warned the new owner about this loser. He told us he wouldn't preemptively ban someone (which is fine, and fair). But then he started coming to the tournaments, and presumably because he knew he couldn't get away with it here never played. However, justice for us all came when he refused to follow store rules (the big one is no foul language/cursing, its kid friendly) and then when told to watch his mouth he got defensive and started using it more. Store owner told him on two different nights to watch his mouth and he got worse. So the culmination of our tale has this guy say something like "that fucking card is so god damn overpowered and retarded" and the owner was right next to him and just stared at him with his mouth open and said "dude, seriously, how many times have i told you to watch what you're saying in here?" and the guy just tells the owner that he needs to be able to curse because he has depression. Cursing releases endorphins that help his depression. The owner just told him to get out and that he was banned, right on the spot. The rest of the kingdom rejoiced and laughed and danced for a good two weeks afterwards.

>>51253025
Entropy. I've been visiting the boards here off and on for years, and it's always been part of the collective mentality that the sky is falling. Even back in the day people were complaining about how memes and the like were becoming more and more common among those who hadn't even heard of an image board.

>>51238355
A friend was just telling me an experience he had at one of the releases when he was in his teens. He told me that he was playing in a sort of tournament while being the youngest guy in the place. He gets pit against a guy who looked to be in his thirties and as courtesy shuffled each other's decks. After handing them off and each drawing their opening hands, the older guy start losing his shit over how one of his cards were rotated upside down. Somehow, he took this to mean my friend was 'cheating' and started shouting at him in the middle of the tourney.
> "DID YOU TRY TO PEEK AT MY CARDS? YOU KNOW I COULD GET YOU THROWN OUT OVER THIS, RIGHT? OR DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE MY CARD FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN?"
He was mortified since a few of his older friends were with him at the tourney. It was the last time he ever did anything other than table top. It's also why I keep my distance from the MTG community.

>>51252682
Just told him calmly bout the situation and he just told me what I said he said, oh well, I been making sure to be ultra vigilant at pptq and above since then.

>>51238782

And tell him what? That you're a huge faggot?

Fucking people like you grind my gears so bad, if you're a tilty motherfucker then that's your problem.

I used to play in a group where most of us were in out 20s with a couple of older guys as well.
One day this 13 year old joined and he was the worst cheater I had ever seen.
I'm sure he was trying to be subtle but we would just watch him shuffle things weirdly or move cards when he thought people were not looking.
It was so audacious we just kind of left him to it, he wasn't going to win anyway

>>51238355
>playing commander
>know just about everyone in a game, but it's in a public space, so there's one new guy
>happen to look over at this guy when a big play is happening on someone else's turn, so everyone is distracted
>This motherfucker is rearranging his deck
>call him out
>he tries making excuses and saying he didn't know it was against the rules
Fat fuck couldn't even own up to it when he was caught red handed

>>51238355
I'm the kind of person who wants to cheat when he's getting beat thoroughly, but always feels too guilty just thinking about it to even do it.

>>51239966
Ah, the fallacy fallacy coupled with the authority-via-logic assumption.

Let me help you out a whole bunch with the rest of your life.

"Logic" is not some magical rule of the universe that establishes absolute authority. It's quite literally a construction, and only a way to help you think about things to achieve a desired effect.

What is "logical" to you is not correct as a matter of physical law, no matter how rational or grounded in fact you believe it to be. Your "logic" can be flawless, and you can still be very, very wrong. Now go, and be a massive faggot no more.

>>51255034
>Your "logic" can be flawless, and you can still be very, very wrong.

Socrates was a man.
Socrates was wise.
Therefore all men are wise!

Ha Anon, I just proved you wrong! Oh... Wait...

>>51256170
That's not logic at all though. That's actually a fallacy (what applies to a part of the whole applies to the whole).

Logic, is something like "if P then Q, so if not Q then not P", and that is actually flawless, since there is no possible situation where it's wrong.

>>51255034
>fallacy fallacy
Now I've heard EVERYTHING.

>>51256874
This one actually happens a lot. If someone says "the moon isn't made of cheese because my dad says so", then that's in principle an appeal to authority, but that doesn't mean that the conclusion isn't true.

Fallacies only point out structural faults in argumentation, they have nothing to do with the validity of a conclusion.

>>51240122
>>51240322
>>51256874
Accusing someone of lacking logic under the fallacy fallacy is a commission of the fallacy fallacy itself. :^)

t. phil major

>>51246307
No-one on /tg/ builds them.

I'm working on a fun group hug deck that donates Blazing Archons to everybody.

>>51239793
>go to a magic event as a smoker
>expect to get told off or something
>turns out at least 60% of the people there smoke a cig after every round
>the other 40% go to the bar next door
>these aren't just randoms, but people who grind out grand prixs and scg opens

Smoking is part of magic, at least where I'm from. Get over it.

There's a guy at my lgs who cheats every game. He scrys whenever he wants and tries to sneak extra cards in his lap. Pretty sure he has a mental disorder or something based on his mannerisms so everyone just kinda puts up with it and complains to each other later.

>>51258641
That's not actually true. Saying that what somebody is saying is untrue because of the fallacy fallacy is a commission of the fallacy fallacy. Saying that someone's argument lacks logic or that the argumentation is incorrect because of the fallacy fallacy is not a fallacy.

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>Came for: MTG rage
>ITT: Arguments on the nature of arguments and fallacies

>>51258641
>t. phil major
Suddenly this thread makes a lot more sense.

>>51260708
Arguments within arguments about arguments that have arguments in them.

>>51238355
Yes and yes.

Do you want more obvious questions answered?

>>51261096
>Do you want more obvious questions answered?
Yes.

>>51251311
You're so fucked up anon

>>51261238
Yes.

>>51239915
Cut his deck. Cut everyones deck.

Returning to the topic of smoking, it has been proven that second-hand smoke IS a health hazard and as such shouldnt be allowed in tournaments.

The supporting poiint 2 of the first anon who entered the debate is a very evident slippery slope, as it induces from a mere rule for protecting people from smoke, a full-fledged system of smoker social pahriaty.

The thing about the smoking is as i said earlier a health issue and as such we sghouldnt try to discuss the bad smell of cigarettes while debating about this.

>>51261096
What cheating did you witness and what did you do yourself?

I have a friend who has a bad habit of cheating in EDH. From scrying the top 10 cards of his deck when no one is looking to using cards that arent even in his deck.
Multiplayer is an easy format to cheat in, and he usually does it once a night.
Any tips on how to stop him, or harsh penalties for when we catch him?

>>51263067
All of the usual cheating. Card slipping, card exchange, even brazen theft of opponent's cards right off the table mid-match.

I stole cards myself, typically by the box; this made the whole building a deck thing easier on me and back then (beyond the statute of limitations for petty theft, obviously) people weren't quite as sharp-eyed.

As for in-game cheating, I was good at card swaps and swipes.

>>51263462
>and back then (beyond the statute of limitations for petty theft, obviously)
It's not like anyone could connect an anonymous post to a particular theft, let alone prove anything in court if they did.

>>51263318
Stop being friends with shitty people. Problem solved.

>>51263488
>It's not like anyone could connect an anonymous post to a particular theft, let alone prove anything in court if they did.
Never admit to a crime you can still be charged with.

>>51264083
>Never admit to a crime
FTFY

>>51264389
Nah. How would you pass your poly if you didn't?

>>51264486
>implying I pass
>implying I meet enough people to be poly

>>51238355
At EVERY pre release.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to draw two cards a turn.
Generally guarantees me top 5 each time, occasionally first or second place.

>>51264909
for your sake I hope you're trolling, it's slightly less depressing that you spend your free time acting like an ass to irritate people over the internet compared to cheating at a children's card game in the most casual sanctioned format.

>>51265570
Offer prizes? Except cheating. Don't like it? Try kitchen table.

>>51238411
What the fuck do you expect someone to respond when you tell them they stink?

>>51265570
>the most casual sanctioned format.
Draft is sad you forgot it.

>>51266495
>draft
>more casual than fucking prereleases

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>>51242652
how in the hell can you play dredge in standard?

When I worked for WotC when they had their retail stores I ran Magic tournaments. We caught multiple people with fakes. We would legally confiscate the cards and destroy them right in front of everyone and then permanently ban the offender from our stores. We would also routinely catch Asian kids for what amounted to the Magic equivalent of card counting. They were always Asian for some reason.

>>51239708
>Actually even if you played correctly and knew you were playing correctly you still could get a DQ for cheating.
How so?

>>51269609
the only cheating i do is using MLP sleeves.... everyone is usually going " fuckin' noob" typically right before i use simic space magic to put a leviathan on the field

>>51270320
i have no fucking clue why that was a reply...

Some kid pulled a masterpiece in his deck and didn't realize he couldn't play it. Naturally all the neckbeards sperg out when he tries to play it. He's related to one of the judges so the fatsos were getting REALLY mad about it and demanding he be dq'd.
Like wtf why is WotC including cards that you can't play in the boosters anyway. That's pretty confusing to newfags.

>>51245330
My lgs has slips of paper with both players names on it and when the w/l record is on the sheet, both players have to sign it

>>51269214
If the judge fails to understand your explanation that you knew the rules and instead believes you thought you weren't playing correctly.

>>51269609
Aren't pony pics banworthy?

>>51270687
Smaller stores don't usually do that.

>>51253063
>When the ref ignores the nut shots you've giving the dude because he does this

>>51239105

This is exactly like the dude that didn't shower for a week before games, are we being whiny bitches there as well? Smokers smell fucking disgusting, and if they are actually SMOKING then it's literally breathing toxic fumes, do you understand how fucking horrible that feels?

>>51239793

I live in Sweden :cryingface:

>>51239870

Why is it that autists love to argue by spouting the names of fallacies instead of actually using arguments?

>be at private tournement friend regularly organizes
>one of our local most veteran players and regulars plays against my D&D DM
>veteran mills himself with Though Scour
>takes it back into his hand after checking his graveyard after the mill
>didn't realize at first, was wondering when he cast his third one and I only saw two in his grave
>ask about it
>friend didn't notice anything, he claimed that the earlier mill was Tasigur
>DM wins after a tedious 60 minute match
>mention it to the others including the organizer at lunch later
>come to conclusion that he definitely cheated
>didn't want to make a fuzz since he lost anyway; organizer decided to now let me come to his tourneys as a second judge whenever I have time and don't feel like playing to watch that guy in the future

And that is how I got my spot as our local cheat-spotter for those tournaments.

>>51271947
Vote Sweden Democrat.

>>51270320
I use MLP sleeves for my Kami of the crescent moon stax edh deck, it fucking enrages people I love it.

>>51273131
What are the best reactions you've gotten?

Please tell me you use Pinkie Pie.

>>51246307
>>51258986
I turned mine into voltrol.

Honestly, how many commanders give you card draw, ramp and have a booty that huge?

>>51273173
voltron*

I'm bad at magic and 4chan

>>51238355
While not usually done as a form of intentional cheating, I see new players manaweave right in front of me all the time.

Putting their deck back into 3 piles (one all land, two no-land) and handing it back to them is usually enough to get them to stop.

>>51238355
Yes to both.

>Caught someone cheating red handed in casual MTG - drawing an extra card each turn.
>Group tells me to stop whining its only casual
>Just start cheating myself because why fucking not at that point

Didn't really keep playing with them for long after that though.

>>51239105
>>51239149
>>51239236
>>51239293
>>51239318
>>51239374
But smoking is barely noticeable, even if you have smokers breath unless you're cramming their tongue down your throat. And anon, you shouldn't do that at an MtG tournament.

Also
>>51271920
Jesus fucking Christ man, it's a little tobacco smoke. You're not at Hiroshima, you're not in an asbestos factory and this isn't Chernobyl. Stop being a faggot.

>>51273232
t. smoker

>>51266705
GB Delirium!

>>51238355
Once or twice, out of rage against another player's bullshit and the need for a counter, and only even in casual Commander games, I've put a card on top of my deck and then "shuffled" after searching.

I've always felt dirty when I've done it.

>>51270601
If it's in sealed/draft,you know he can play it right?

>>51273246
No anon, I've just not been sheltered enough that I've never had to deal with unpleasant smells.

>>51270601
Bad news for you and all the spergs. Masterpieces are 100% legal in Limited.

>>51270601
You don't play magic much, do you?
Masterpieces, Expeditions, Hidden Treasures are all legal in limited if you pull them.
So keep up the [autistic screeching]

>>51261096
>>51261238
Fucking rekt

>>51270601
Lol. Scrubs.
http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/making-magic/masterpiece-series-2016-09-12
>Masterpiece cards can be played in any Limited format they're opened in and in any Constructed format in which the card is already legal.

>>51246210
That hand tho

>>51273171
I do, I know my shit

Best reactions were:
1: before I used them on that deck, I once brought them to the BFZ prerelease. The local smelly neckbeard was my final opponent, the other people didn't care. But this guy just got so fucking mad, he started criticising everything he could see, even calling me virgin loser (while he was more fat than Gabe Newell and smelled like sewer drain), and as a result of all his anger he made a few huge misplays that actually won me the game.
I was first place because of this, which already frustrated him (he fucking accused me of cheating even, he got multiple warnings from the owner too for unsportsmanlike and aggressive behaviour).

Now, in my LGS first place gets the top reward packs he earned, then second place, etc etc, so that you always know which place you should have gotten to get the best monetary reward.
I had an ancient tomb expedition in mine, and when I was about to leave he tapped me on the shoulder and just stared at me with an angry expression for about a minute. I asked him if he needed something but he was just silent, just stood there like an absolute autist.

>>51273171
(Cont)

2: Brought the stax deck to EDH night once, one dude got frustrated as fuck by it. He started with your average "really bro" reactions but throughout the game devolved into "we don't need people like you in the Magic community" which made me burst out into laughter. The other 2 guys were just kinda watching, somewhat amused, the entire game.

Now, my Kami of the crescent moon deck wins by drawing everyone 4-6 cards a turn and then setting up a stax lock, digging for labman + leveler or decking the others, protected by feldon's cane. So when I play with new people and start dropping cards like howling mine I tell them it's group hug instead. So when the truth came out and I played a clock of omens, stasis orb and mana short on the angry guy, he just went apeshit. Yelling about "stax furries shitting up the community", about how I was an immoral person, going on about the spirit of EDH and all that cancer, and how I was apparently into bestiality. After I bounced everyone's creatures with frozen aether on the field and shifted to a stasis + boomerang + isochron scepter lock instead, he actually stood up, shoved his deck off the table and walked up to the owner, asking him to ban me. He just laughed and told him to clean up his mess, the guy walked out angrily after picking up his cards, saying that he would never come to this fucking furrystore again.

Those are the 2 best sperg outs that the sleeves have caused, but a lot of people do get angry at it to a lesser extent. It has caused a lot of misplays so far, so it's honestly a really nice tactical advantage.

>>51239793
"The smoker is literally a health hazard"
cause I breathe on you? That's not how second hand smoking works. I'm not smoking AT the table you faggot.

>>51239793
>Second hand smoke kills.
sadly not fast enough it seems

>>51246599
>DSP of MTG

You have your answer already.

>>51240097
/fit/ crossposter here, I bring protein bars and almonds with me to games.

It's a strategy that involves making neckbeards feel insecure, it works pretty well desu

Rumors have surfaced amongst the fatties that I'm on steroids lel

>>51275297
>>51275309
You are a hero.

I played someone with Pinkie sleeves once, didn't say a thing, and I didn't notice anyone else reacting either. Do I just have an LGS that doesn't care? Or has he likely faced such reactions and I just happened to miss them?

>>51276847
A friend of mine uses Rarity sleeves for the same reason as I do, he gets hilarious shit at times too. Most people tend to not care though. In my experience it's mostly neckbeard types that really go apeshit.

>>51238355
I saw a guy ask to shuffle his opponent's deck when given the standard option to "cut or shuffle". He surreptitiously flipped a card onto the carpet and hid it while shuffling and immediately called for a deck check. His opponent was disqualified for being 1 card short of the minimum deck size. We didn't figure this out until much later.

>>51276885
Wonder which ones trigger the most rage.

>>51276885
I've had some great results with anime sleeves as well.

>>51275437
>>51275473
Samefag.

>>51280587
It's a mixed bag. Once at my college lounge, and I know this is anecdotal evidence, I saw these guys sitting around and chatting with deck cases and backpacks on the table. Of course being a totally dedicated MTG player I sit down and start chatting, pulling out my own deck box I keep in my backpack in case of this exact situation. We chat for a while and pull out decks for standard play. Well we were until I saw a naked anime girl , boobs and vagina exposed center-card, on every single sleeve one player used. I quickly asked the dude not to expose that shit in public and pick another deck. He complies and we play a quick 2v2 standard game. I tease him about it during the game and he gets really embarrassed surprisingly.

>>51238411

This is like a gimmick from a card battle manga

>>51282976
>I saw a naked anime girl , boobs and vagina exposed center-card, on every single sleeve one player used
They could hardly be on just one or two sleeves, could they?

Stop being so prudish. You don't throw bitchfits when you see sexy anime girls on the internet, so why do the same anywhere else?

>>51280587
Make sure they're lolis, people will fucking freak.

>>51283129
To be fair, if it's straight up porn on your sleeves you should tone it down. Can't imagine that that'd be allowed in a tournament either.

>>51283314
It's not a tournament. It's a casual college buddies playgroup anon invited himself into.

>>51283353
Who were in a public place and anon asked the dude to pick something that wouldn't be extremely socially ignorant.

>>51283129
Generally when you sleeve a deck you don't just sleeve one or two cards. And if you read the anime dude pulled out a more public appropriate deck without issue. Why are you getting so worked up on this?

>>51283464
>>51283535
>Teacher, teacher! I saw two boys playing in the lounge with dirty cartoon pictures!

>>51238355
There was a time when I ensured that I had four hedron crabs in my hand at the start of every game because I really liked hedron crabs and it was funny watching my opponents realize that either I was cheating or God was real and a hedron crab, but not being able to prove it.

I've never knowingly done it with ill intent though.

>>51283592
So you admit you're so socially inept that you believe it to be appropriate to expose basically porn (The greentext literally described completely naked anime girls on every sleeve) to everyone within sight of a public place?

>>51266811
>card counting
...?

If you mean keeping track of what's in their own deck using memory alone, that's not cheating. Doesn't sound like you mean that though,

>>51283646
Are you so prudish you keep your bhurka on inside your own dorm?

>>51283832
That stopped being prudish and started being good sense about 300,000 "refugees" ago.

>>51275297
>>51275309
The fact that people even get upset about this confuses me. Like I know it happens because I've seen similar but I just never understand flying into a rage over a fucking card sleeve. Some people I guess.

You know a good website for custom sleeves btw? I kinda wanna make a custom sleeve sometime but I'm not sure on quality or pricing.

Personally I was gonna do Hearthstone card back sleeves for my MTG decks to see if it'd trigger anyone but apparently MLP does the job better. Honestly, I would have expected the neckbeards in your stories to be more accepting of an MLP card sleeve.

>>51283854
Sorry if lewd anime is haram, but until you take over, some free speech still applies.

>>51238691
I did that once as a joke. Worked so well I continued with it

>>51239881
What horseshit

>>51283832
This isn't a Dorm room. This is a college lounge. A lot of people walk through college lounges on the way to class so it's common sense to not have a stack of 60+15 naked anime pictures layer out on your table.

>>51283896
>Personally I was gonna do Hearthstone card back sleeves for my MTG decks to see if it'd trigger anyone but apparently MLP does the job better.
Use something political. That will be the most triggering of all.

>>51284042
No. Have one massive black cock+balls on your sleeves. That'll trigger EVERYONE.

>>51284002
God forbid college students on their way to class see a naked anime chick! They'll probably be a crying wreck by the time they get home for dinner and be unable to concentrate on their homework.

>>51284083
But why do you think it's appropriate? I mean I can see the justifications a grognards would make for this behavior in private, but in public that's like taking off your pants and masturbating to porn on your laptop, in public.

>>51284203
Why would it not be? The only answer is old-fashioned prudishness.

>>51284249
Or common fucking courtesy. How can you be so dense as to not understand this? You don't look at porn in public. No one else wants to see that shit.

>>51284279
If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.

>>51283897
Cool, be prepared for no one to ever want to be friends with you and weird rumors being spread about you on campus.

>>51284321
Why are you getting so worked up on this?

>>51283896
I think that the reason why the people who go apeshit the most over things like lolicon and MLP are often neckbeards is so they have something to feel superior about. They probably look in the mirror in the morning and see the ecosystem of crust and fungus underneath their third chin, and notice that when they take a shit it never actually falls in the toilet and just gets caught in their assflaps.
Combine this with garbage-tier self esteem and it's no wonder they create delusions of superiority about the dumbest shit.

>>51284363
he's you from the future

>>51284883
How do I forget that I don't give in to the terrorists?

>>51284934
In the future everyone forgets

>>51285157
How did that happen?

>>51285375
It all started with the legalized public nudity act of 2024...

>>51285465
If only we'd started small and not rushed into full on public nudity...

Just started encouraging lewder media and games...

>>51285513
>If only we'd started small and not rushed into full on public nudity...
>Just started encouraging lewder media and games...
Dude, we've been experiencing an increase in nudity in general media since the 60's.

>>51285607
Exactly, over decades! We need to keep that process going with lewd anime sleeves, not legalized nudity, or we'll have no chance of changing the future!

>>51285649
What we need to do is altee the timeline in such a substantial way that terrorism isn't fueled by the media! Like publicly assassinating Hillary Clinton by dropping 300 SJW landwhales out of an airplane onto her like an organic carpet bombing run. Or assassinate Vladimir Putin via briefcase implosion nuke. Or set off a nuke in an airplane over a Chinese city. Or set off a firework bomb in the border between North and South Korea, thus beginning Vietnam#2. Or nuking all of Africa... actually that would have the least chance of affecting the future. Nothing, not even the fabric of space-time, cares about Africa.

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When I was 12 or 13, I played a black discard deck based around pic related. The idea was to empty the opponent's hand, play Oppression, and reliably force them to discard a card every turn, under the incorrect assumption that if they never had more than one card in hand, they couldn't play any cards.

In my defense I retired the deck when I found out the rules didn't support it. Oddly enough, no one ever called me out on it, I discovered the rules misinterpretation on my own.

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Cheaters only cheat themselves.

Vid / Pic related.

https://youtu.be/Na9jUC3-pKI?t=17m47s

>>51238355
I was fixing up my deck in standered then stopped halfway through for some reason. Was like 3-4 weeks later and picked it up again and played FNM. I wondered how I was getting consistent picks (only won one game anyway). When I went home I was going through my deck and I only had 52 cards out of the 60.

Oops.

>>51238355

I cheat against my friends all the time. But then they catch on and exile the card. Because that's how Cheatyface works

>>51285835
The best episode!

>>51284318
Way to take a bible quote out of context and apply it incorrectly.

"If thine eye offends thee" means "if you sin with your eye", not "if you see something offensive".

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>Playing magic with friends.
>Have a small pile of cheatyface hidden in my pocket.
>Other friend distracts opponent with YouTube video
>Sneak 10 cheatyfaces on the field
>Seing for 20 gg no re

>>51285835
They feel the need to add a note telling viewers not to cheat, but there's no note like that in the red light district episode...

>>51290844
What is the best way to cheat with cheatyface?

I know a guy who always tries to cheat. I've played him in drafts several times
>Never taps his mana, at most he tilts them like 10 degrees
>constantly tries to do illegal shit put cards back into his hand or whatever
>always tries to bait opponents, point at cards and say "ok I remove this" without playing a card etc
The worst part is that he always acts like he just doesn't know, but I know the guy has played magic longer than anyone else.

>>51292372
Buy like 20 and if your opponent leaves to go to the bathroom hide one under each of your permanents. When they pass just untap and swing for lethal. Helps the best if your deck is sleeved and the cheatyfaces aren't.

>>51238355
I used to fix my deck A LOT during my early days of FNM, I had absolutely no clue it was considered cheating, since how I understood it when it was explained to me, stacking the deck creature-land before shuffling wasn't cheating. It wasn't until a friend of mine went "you know that's cheating right?" "what? no man I'm just making sure I don't get... mana... screwed... oh"

Other time it was involuntary, I was playing another friends deck and used one of Jace's ( the creature-planeswalker from Origins) abilities, the one that allowed me to cast from grave, without paying the cost of the spell. Didn't get called out on it the first time, second time the guy I was playing against pointed it out to me before spell resolved.

>>51246223
this is just sad... I mostly listen to whatever he has to say because his alarmist tone makes me laugh, but after this I confirm that the guy is just BAD at playing magic. It's understandable when you're new and can't really rate cards in a sealed pool, but this guy thinks he is somewhat a beacon of light and then pulls this shit. Playing blue because he has counterspells, counters suck in limited. I think he has me muted or silenced, but I tell him in a comment to build WB aggro someone tell me if it's there; even WR is more reasonable.

Watch this if you want a good laugh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSqqIEmunHE&t=971s

To stay on topic. I now have the habit of asking compulsively how many cards my opponent has in their hand. After I realized after the match that a guy was drawing one extra card when I wasn't looking; he would do things during upkeep or at the end of turn. I was new to the game back tnen.

>>51294144
Stacking the deck before shuffling isn't cheating, since if you shuffle sufficiently, it won't matter what state the deck is in, it'll be randomized. However, if you shuffle sufficiently, it's a waste of your time to do that because you'll be randomizing.

>>51254983
this happened to me last week
>alan you fucker

>>51238411
>Playing against boogie2988

>>51273207
or just shuffle their cards?
i can totally understand why manaweaving is looked down upon as the only real reason to do it is to get an unfair adventage, but specifically if i know it is a new player i usually tell them it is unneccesary, very suspicious and let it slide.

>>51290844
>>51292506
this might sound strange for an un- set but i am almost positive that cheatyface has to be in your hand for you to cheat it in.
> errata?

>>51266705
They call it dredge, but in reality it's shit. You dredge 1 card per turn. It's the card you drew.

>H-heh, it doesn't m-matter that you countered m-my Cathartic Reunion, b-b-because I still d-discarded the two cards and that's what I r-really wanted ... !!!"

You have to remember that each generation devalues what the last held dear. What you considered dredge because it used the dredge mechanic, is now just a shorthand way of saying that a deck uses the graveyard.

>>51273171
>rarity- mono green devotion with the ability to produce in excess of 300+ mana per turn, every turn (hero's bane+Nylea's bow+Nylea=PAIN)
pinkie pie- some form of shennigans ( a simic deck that loads the top of the deck with storm tide leviathan or prognostic sphinx and has two prophets of kruphix) and (golgari sac engine that kills and steals creatures via dictate of erebus/ butcher of malakir and grave betrayal)
>fluttershy for a shitty rakdos vampire deck and a deck that revolves around kill spells and per turn damage ticks.

>>51285784
this plus painful quandry, and shrieking affliction and lavaborn muse, mind rot and other hand control and they can't do much with anything

>>51239870
>purple rhetoric
Just because it uses words above a fourth-grade reading level, doesn't mean it's not legitimate.

>>51239711
>>51239793
>>51239374
People who smell like Nicotine are just as bad as people who smell like Body Odor. I don't know why this devolved into something else but I'm pretty sure that was the original point being made.

>>51247281
i agree with you man. i think i got cancer reading that post. and i dont even smoke.

>>51244649
If you're all going to cheat why even play a game? That sounds like being 6 and playing pretend,you just make shit up until somebody gives up.

>>51246307
Speak for yourself dicknuts, they are literally my favorite commander right now, mostly BECAUSE of the salt.

>TFW you slap down the Homo Erectus and tell the whole table your deck literally can't win.
>Spend the next 2 hours doing everything possibles to keep each player alive.
>Divine Intervention, timewalk, timewalk

If it was any worse I'd have created a new fucking Dead Sea.

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>come to this thread to see what MTG players are like
>dont know what i expected

>>51297901
DIRTY ANUS
I
R
T
Y

A
N
U
S

>>51297901
the general attitude in this thread towards X game's players is about on par with every other general on /tg

>>51290830
Next you'll be telling me "the silent majority" means the dead!

>>51299060
And yours smells like roses right?

>>51300161
Yes, that's why I jam them up there.

>>51266705
cathartic reunion, scrapheap scrounger, prized amalgam? it's not exactly the same, but the premise is similar.

>>51290844
Anyone know where I can buy 75 cheatyfaces to sleeve my standard decks with?

>>51292506
>"ok I remove this" without playing a card etc
"alright, with what spell?"
once you know his shtick it should be simple to shut it down. moreover, if he's such a scumbag why isn't he kicked out of the place?

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Catch people cheating all the time at large events. Usually stuff like this.
>at GP
>opponent is riffle shuffling Thier
deck with the cards facing him.
>Is this real?
>call him out on it.
>gets butt pained pretty hard.
>continues to shuffle that way...
>how is this really?
>I call over a judge and explain what's been happening.
>judge dosent look suprised.
>" Hah! I remember you "
>opponent turns bright fucking red.
>dosent say another word, quietly packs up his stuff and just leaves.
Apparently this guy got caught cheating by the same judge at the same GP last year hahah.
>mfw free win then lose 3 in a row and drop.

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>>51239881

>>51294376
>"SIX cost mythic - waste of a mythic" fuck me, it's DEMON OF DARK SCHEMES, only an absolutely phenomenal card in limited than can generate a truly disgusting amount of value.

What.
The.
Fuck.