Mage Guild

Demand the druids submit a tithe from among their number to be transformed into werewolves. Also a second tithe, magically muted to assist in containing the specimens

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>>51160394
Tell the paladins that they're hiding holy relics or something. Then we can drop the moon on both of them at once!

>>51160394
We just simulate a moon during the interim. Gravity spells, false light, and so on.

Or just put out a time stop, excluding everything within the boundaries of the Guild's halls. They can't transform if the moon's phases and positions don't change.

Or, just phase the test laboratories onto another plane, where there is no lunar cycle.

>Cost: destroys moon, wrecks tides, may change calendars
>Benefits: pisses off druids

Seems like a favorable trade to me.

>>51160394
Use a mass illusion to make the moon continue to appear in place and simply carry out the project in secret. What are they going to do, put it back together?

>>51161636
Though comforting to the masses, moonlight will not be enough to satisfy the concerns regarding the tides.

>>51160493
What these ignorant druids lack to have researched, is that the absence of the moon brings only superfluous effects that harms very little, and benefits all the more. The waves aren't even controlled by the moon! That's just a myth concocted by those who are mentally impaired, or rather the plain ignorant, in an attempt to justify what they don't know. The real cause of the waves from my own patented research that have I labored over for many years, is that the waves could either be caused by unknown beings in the unexplored oceans, or represent the few mass rift between this plane and others!

The waves themselves function as a visible wavelength, that somewhat attune us with other realms. The speed and height correlate with the moon, sure, however it is not a causation. The waves pick up show that we're the closest to a realm in that cycle, and with future experiments we could even communicate with them far more reliably.

Now...uh...about the moon. I request that we take samples of the moon before we destroy it. To preserve of course. And tell those druids that the moon, an object not native to this world is not apart of nature. It's otherworldly at best, and that all claims of it being able to control the waves are simply myths spread about by the magically impaired populace.

I propose that we carry out the plan to destroy the moon anyway, and let the debris form a ring around the world, creating an eternal state of full moon. Who cares about tree-huggers anyway.
I second Prof. Flamel (>>51161087) and our kind anonymous brethen (>>51161636) on the projection of an illusory moon.
This will allow us to determine whether lycanthropism is truly tied to the fases of the moon or is merely psycosomatic.
As for Prof. Flamel's concerns about the tides, (>>51161680), I believe we can control the tides with gravity spells.
Some may acuse us of hubris, but the destruction of the moon will advance the reserch of many of our colleagues.

>>51161680
Perhaps we could replace the moon? I think it would be within the budget to make one out of paper mache.

>>51162968
An illusion would be cheaper and instantaneous, but it would consume a lot of magic power. And let's not get into the payment of the mages which would keep the illusion up 24/7.
A papier-maché moon would be slow to build and we would have to pay the laborers and the materials...
Maybe we should use an illusion to hide the paper moon while we build it?
Would druids be a good source of [s]slave[/s] cheap labor?

>>51163010
Excellent idea! And paper mache doesn't take a lot of brain power to make, so the druids will be well suited to it. It's just a question of how to get them into space and keeping them alive once they are there.

>>51163040
What was the consensus on the nature of space, already? My lycanthropy research has me a little behind times in astrology and astronomy.
If it's luminiferous aether, we could adapt a waterbreathing spell to the aetheric medium rather than the aquatic one. I'm rusty on that matter.

>>51163040
>>51163075
My esteemed peers, we can circumvent any need for magical adaptations by simply reanimating their corpses. As everyone knows, the undead need not breath. This could also solve our dilemma of labour, as the walking dead require no food nor compensation, so long as the axiom of mental obliteration is properly applied.

>>51163135
And they don't rot in vacuum. Not sure about whether flesh rots in luminiferous aether. Anyone care to enlighten me on the nature of space?

Who are the biggest dicks, elves or wizards?

>>51163321
Elven wizards, my friend.

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>>51160394
Since when has the mages guild ever given consideration as to what other organizations think of it?

>>51163321
Gnome Warlocks are a whole degree worse than either of those

>>51165379
Does such a thing exist?

>>51165719
*cough*

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>>51160394

Fools-Fools! We kneel to no weak-stupid druid-thing!

Our full might-power will smash the moon, and don't worry! Thanks to our spell-spell, we will smash the stone-rock exactly on their faces!

Now, would you kindly-gently pass me that delectable green stone-rock?

>>51165927
You do know by decree of the King, we aren't allowed to stock Warp stone anymore? Not since the Back scratching incident.

>Peeks in
Have never zeen meeting before! Hello!

Are liches allowed on this council? I really need friends.

>>51169359
They let me in. Probably!

*Comes through doors, looking like he's been hit by fire, smells slightly of singed pork*

Sorry I'm late, you wouldn't believe how difficult Aether manipulation has seemed to be for me lately.
...
What'd I miss?

>>51167719
I don't believe I've seen you around before. Who are you?
>>51169359
We've had inanimate objects become headmaster in the past, a Lich is hardly out of the ordinary here.
>>51169948
Nothing of note. Why do you smell of bacon?

>>51170025
... I may, OR MAY NOT, have tried to trans-locate part of my breakfast. On that note, did you know there's a plane of Hell-pigs? Well, actually I'm unsure what to call them, but they taste like cinnimon sugar rub bacon once they thaw back up. Oh, that's right. They also seem to be weak to cold. *Sits down on the side. "

>>51170101
Hell-pigs? Im unaware such things existed. Hell-Boars sure, but pigs seems like someone was high on Dust when creating said plane.

Speaking of, do any of you happen to know of an Oinkbane? Last I've heard of him, he was in the region.

>>51170025
Am kobold.

Kobold mage! Totally. Yez. Am not in dizguize.

>>51170530
You realize what I am right? I can see right through our disguise. It's fine, no need to hide it, we have enough wackos here as is.

>>51170477
Oinkbane? No, not really. I have yet to hear anything about him since the Loin-in-ing. How are we supposed to say that, anyway...

Well, Anywho... I've made great strides in my Gravo-centric theory! I managed to temporarily halt the tides in Dravenport! I had to explain why the fishers couldn't get back to port for the day, but I found some interesting effects on the Mea carmina scribendi pila simulatione!

It was almost as if thousands of things were trying to enact a force on it! I'll be busy with it for a while, of course, but the results could be fantastic!

>>51170598
...Pleaze don't.

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>>51160394
Do it.
Nobody down here cares about the moon and druids are pathetic excuses for wizards.
I will pay you in skulls.

>>51171365
... Moon?

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>51171219
*casts dispel*

>>51172142
>Is literally just a kobold wearing a robe

>>51172196
Well now, you aren't a mage at all are you? You realize that impersonating a spellcaster is a misdemeanor, no?

>>51172229
Can cazt spellz though!

Am... Artificer!

>>51172275
Ah, then, I am glad to see you! Enchanting has always been a weak spot for me, I would really appreciate it (with gold) if you could enchant me a club that I could use against creatures of the three-point-five-th dimension, damn things have been leaking into my basement ever since I opened my portal to the Plane of Lonely Single Mothers, and the damn things have gone through two Housecarls already.

>>51173068
...

Have you tried... Clozing portal?

>>51173088
But I need an extradimensional portal going so I can dispose of the eldritch waste one of my other portals generates.

>>51173157
Then cloze all portalz!

I told you this would come back to bite us. Seriously, werewolves are marginally superior to humans most of the time, rabid furries three nights a month - what benefit could we possibly derive from this study that we couldn't get any other way?

I am all for expanding the frontiers of knowledge, but destroying the moon is a massive investment of effort for little potential gain and possibly great loss.

We don't even have a preliminary study on what the effects of the loss of such a significant celestial body will have on the astral matrices we use!

Sloppy, gentlemen, sloppy!

>>51160394
What if, we burn their forests and freeze their corpses?

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>>51173262
Weĺl, we can always make a new one

>>51173304
Ahem, I believe you mean we should immolate their forests and glaciate their corpses, yes?

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>>51160394
WHAT ARE THESE NAMBY-PAMBIES ALLOWING THEMSELVES?
While we, the MIGHTIEST minds of our times, are flexing our brain MUSCLES lifting weight of knowledge higher and HIGHER, these flower loving HIPPIES are trying to CRAMP glorious body of Progress? I tell you what, Archwizard – we'll CRUSH all the HEAVINESS of the moon on their weak wimpy necks and get back to more important business!

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wizards?

>>51173786
Esteemed colleague, control your students. I would hate to have a repeat of the last time one of them spoke out of turn.
>>51172229
>>51172275
Master Lamanth, and... little creature. Need I remind you WHY we are here? Our research is jeopardized by, as the acclaimed Gaston Van IronGroin put it, 'Namby-pambies'.

I for one would propose the creation of a dedicated committee to curb the power of non-guild affiliated spellcasters, including these druids, as well as the priests of the temple and their paladins! Too long has progress been impeded by the small-minded!

>>51173977
Yez, yez, make zure only zpellcazterz who can take jobz muzt be hired through guild!

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>>51173977
Brother, could we not set our various golems upon them? I have an abomination made from chimpanzees, wyvern phallus, and giant squids that i have been dying to see in action. Or we could crash the moon on top of them as previously suggested and i could create us a new replacement out of bear bladders and various sea creatures

>>51173977
Sooo essentially you want to crest a Spellbreaker gestapo? Need I remind you that I'm technically under oath from the king to report if you guys start overstepping your bounds...

Ah what the hell. I haven't taught the arts in a while. Where do we start?

>>51175672
I suggest a more subtle approach. Also this golem sounds extremely dangerous, as well as heretical. I really would not like to have to report to the church as well as the king after all this is done.

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>>51175826
I assure you brother, the first thing i did was convert it to national religion, i believe its now a certified cleric, though it does have a habit of of lifting the skirts of the nuns.

>>51175826
Actually, your mention of subtlety has given me an idea, the druids have a perchance for beastiality, do they not? Why dont we create a fleets of golems that look exactly like deer but have serrated teeth in the vagina? Then we can just set them loose on the druids and let their disgusting habbits be their downfall

>>51175880
Does that ever result in...unfortunate incidents?
>>51175992
Instead of serated teeth, as that would probably result in some lawsuits, I could enchant the beasts with a mana-sapping ruin the upon coppulation saps the Druids magical abilities. It's cleaner, and results in less, well, blood and crimes against nature.

>>51176117
There have been a few instancesof a mature nature, but the nuns haven't complained, and I've even heard that the bishop likes to watch.
And i would suggest enchanting the faux deers so they stay glued to the Druids after copulation as a bonus insult to injury

>>51176284
The bishop watches? Oh Armara.

Anyway, now all we need is deer to enchant. Or whatever animal druids like to molest in their spare time that's prominent this season.

Why don't we just take the moon, and push it somewhere else.

>>51176624
Probably wolvez.

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>>51178061
Thats a horrible stereotype, also tags not it!

>>51177212
That didn't work so well last time
>>51178061
Who here has experiences in dealing with wolves?

>>51178654
Considering we used to have 2 moons. Gerald gets so over zealous some times...

>>51178654
Oh, oh, Dickwolves, I've made Dickwolves before, does that count?

>>51178901
Can we get them without the human dick? Just semi-normal looking would work.

Wait, don't we have a few Druid members in the guild?

>the ghostly girl blinks at the words spoken from the document

So then to quell their squabbles, we need only a reason for the moon to be destroyed that suits their sense of justification?

Perhaps we could suck the Bards College on them. Surely, they are with no shortage of bad poetry about the moon.

>>51161087
This man has the proper idea, time cures all wounds and aids in all efforts. We should stop time and move the moon as our research requires!

>>51179669
Forgot my official hat.

While a meeting is still being held, I would like to discuss funding for my latest TIME PROJECT. Specifically that of small-scale time manipulation given to commoners. I would like to start by giving each member of a small village access to a device capable of stopping time for 30 seconds total and observe the effects - however I need funding for materials and access to enchanters to craft these devices.

>>51179835

Um. Wow. You know, I don't think that's such a good idea. I propose a better option would be to stop time for people one at a time and observe the results. That should result in a much more controlled and observable study.

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I think I have an ideal replacement for the moon. Recently I was educating some of my students on how not to heal something, and while my magic was infusing an open wound, they decided to pay a little "joke" upon me, and pumped theirs into the wound as well. So, ah, in short, the patient is dead,or at least I think he is. We assume he turned into the giant tumorous mass of cancer cells currently lounging about.
Maybe >>51179835 could accelerate it's growth?
I just need this thing to be gone, the local villagers don't like it and that's interfering with how much I can charge them for appointments. Gotta get paid somehow.

>>51179543
No bards, sister. Anyone who's power comes from music should never be trusted.

>>51180937

Have you tried the necromancer's guild? That sounds like quite a bit of usable flesh.

>>51180962

We're not trusting them, though. Well, we're trusting them to be bad enough that no the druids give up on the moon

>>51179177
Howabout a cross between a wolf, beetle, and snake that spits acid?

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>>51180937
I'll take it, its prime material for my golems

>>51180982
No, no hybrids! The Druids can tell if something is messed with. Remember, they're hippies, genetically modified anything is a big no no.
>>51180977
I'd say the bards are a good shot. They're not as harmful as half the magical organizations out there these days. I know the Guild master if we need to get in contacts with them.

>>51179835
Please don't do that Eric. That sounds awfully like grounds for being put in Magical prison. Trust me, you don't want to end up there mate. Take this from someone who's worked at Red Keep for 3 years.

>>51180977
Ah, good idea, my fair specter.
>>51180998
You have yourself a deal, lich. Though, in return, if you find any death blossom flowers near your corpses, could you deliver those to me? Speeding up their growth rate gives the toxins a little more...kick, and the people will pay dearly for it. I'll even split the profit 60/40.

>>51181054
Haha, red keep is a wonderful place, i used to be the grand torturer there 50 years back, the empire now sells me the corpse lefts overs from time to time, not very good quality but good enough.
>>51181029
A shame, perhaps we can just kill the druids, poison their well or unlease some sort of summon or altered beast upon them? Or just simply jave the pyromancers burn down their grove?

>>51181075
I love the cut of you jib, sir, you've made this undead dog very happy.

>>51181101
Marvelous, my necromantic canine companion. If I ever have any excess flesh lying around (and trust me, I will), you'll be the first to know. Should be getting a dragonbone shipment, too.

>>51181029

I'm sure the master has more than a few would-be poets writing limericks about the moon to spare.

>>51181075

I li... I'm glad to help.

>>51181090

I feel like there is some irony in killing the druids for a better cause, but I can't place my finger on it.

Still, probably not a good idea. They'd probably just reincarnate themselves into something else, likely more bothersome.

>>51181090
Well, as long as it doesn't spread among the Kingdoms taxpaying populace, then I say go for it.

>i used to be the grand torturer there 50 years back, the empire now sells me the corpse lefts overs from time to time, not very good quality but good enough

It's somewhat different when you're on the giving and not the receiving end of the inmates. Having to deal with the attempted magical prolapse of your anus is only endearing the first 3 times, afterwards you come to hold the position with contempt. The Beholder inmates were the worst in this regard.
>>51181123
Well, the thing is, he can't exactly...speak. He had his vocal cords torn out a decade ago. He speaks through interpretative dance.

>>51181114
My word, its been a mans age since i chewed on a good dragons bone! I think it was last lunar eclipse, when we were dealling with those bothersome thunder trplls from the plane of shadow. I think i still have some of their souls lying around. Regardless i will pay you top price for a juicy draconic femur.
>>51181123
Ah, but thats when we trap their souls for a few years just to teach them a lesson. Worked wonders on the dark lord who insulted my wife at the time. Calling her bit, why the nerve of it.

>>51181157

If he's headmaster, then his dances must be adequate.

>>51181179

I suppose that's true. That's still delaying what is a potential problem, though

>>51181179
Consider it a deal, partner. Do you prefer bone, or would you rather me resurrect this beast?
It would be of no danger, my garden naturally grows dragonbane, thankfully.

>>51181212
Just the bones,
Ive been working growing dragons from the cellular level in my lab, so all I'd need is some dry marrow inside to test it
>>51181211
Hmm thats true... we could always depower them and sell them to the orks or dark elves, i hear they are always after good breading stock

>>51181280

That doesn't solve the issue of needing them to agree or justify destroying the moon, which I think was the major issue at hand.

>>51181309
Well, im fresh out ideas then, sister, seems theres no way to persuade those goat fuckers.

>>51181344

I'm just tossing out counter points because they wouldn't be welcoming of my presence.

>>51181414
I could make you a flesh suit

>>51181414
If you feel like it committing some "unlawful acts" for me, I could put your spirit into a dead body. Or even your own corpse, if you still have it.

>>51181587

I'll pass, though I'm sure it'd be lovely.

>>51181616

Funny thing that. I'm not sure if I even have one of my own. Frankly, the druids might be even more upset about a spirit inside the wrong body than a spirit without one at all.

>>51181179
A lunar eclipse you say? That gives me an idea, I haven't left my tower for years, but doesn't the moon sometimes "disappear" once a month or so? What do they call it, a "new moon"? What if, we destroyed the moon during one of these "new moon" periods, and simply convinced the druids of us being unrelated to it. It does leave the problem of permitting the werewolf experiments though.

You guys do know that fucking with moon in general will just anger the moon elementals

I would perfer not to get raped by moon bears and moon elementals thank you very much

The way I figures it, which is easier to get rid of, all the warewolves in the worldses or a rock? The rock don't even fight back.

And did they only send us a letter? Maybe they don't care about their precious moon so much, maybe they do. Maybe somethin bad happens to the moon, maybe they give us a little gift instead.

I feel I must once again object to this lunar destruction plan on behalf of our peers in the East. The moon is central to the astrological rituals and practices of many of our key researchers, whose work would be delayed indefinitely by the loss of such an important stellar body. I feel that echoing the suggestion of >>51161087 and propose the vivisection labs be established in an extraplanar space devoid of a lunar cycle while we plan for a means of burning the druids out from their hippie communes and find a better use for them.
Perhaps starting a lycanthrope transmission division to repopulate the somewhat diminished numbers of subjects for our labs?

>>51182466
Blackmail? I LOVE IT!
>>51182149
Hmm, that might work
>>51182277
Dont you druids enjoy copulating with bears?

>>51182913
I could engineer a strand of lycanthorpy that doesnt require the moon

Uhm... wait, no, that's not right...

Excuse me! Excuse me where is the uh... necromancy lecture hall... located?

>>51183152
Lectures not for another 2 hours boy! I know because i teach it! What are you doing here boy? Come, scratch my belly and tell me your story.

>>51183256
Wait... YOU'RE Barkly?! THE Grand Master of Necromancy?! It's a pleasure to meet you sir... you're... really hairy... um. I, uh, I owned a dog once, I think you scratch like... this?

Well I, er, came to the Mage's Guild 'cuz me mum thought I could be one of them wizards, she did. Thought I had real talent she did, 'specially after I got a hold of my late father's tomes and raised a rat my dog brought in.

Why... uh, don't mind me asking of course! I , *hem*, don't mean any offense, of course, sir, but uh, why... why are you a dog?

>>51180235
Ridiculous! How are we able to extrapolate data onto a global scale if our sample size is so small?
>>51181054
Ah ha, but therein is the beauty of time wizardry! What does a sentence mean if years pass in seconds, and I am released before I am sentenced?

>>51183353
You know how they say not to cast awakening on resurrected flesh? I'm the reason, my boy! Used to be a noblemans pet till i died. They hired a necromancer to raise me, he thought it would be a laugh if i could talj when i came back. Long story short, turns out i had a talent for the necrotic arts, so i set to studying, that was, oh, 300 to 400 years ago... now im a lich whos loyal to the crown. Odd predicament that. Scratch behind my ears now, theres a good lad.

>>51184096
I'm the worst I swear. Keep putting that shit in the options box.

>>51184108
>>51184096
Eric, lad, think you could accelerate the ageing process of the druids so that they just die of natural causes?

>>51184154
Or, I could decelerate their aging! Ah-ha! They can't block scientific progress if they're babies!

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WARNING! DO NOT GO SWIMMING IN THE POOL. I FUCKED UP THE SUMMONING.

>>51184202
That is... concerning! Perhaps try a dispell?
>>51184174
And then we can turn them into werewolves! Brilliant!

>>51160394
Maybe instead of destroying the moon we can conquer it and establish a base of operations there. Maybe also set up some planar transmission circles, both so we can move it elsewhere when we don't need it, and so that we can use our sweet moon fortress in extraplanar conflict. Willing to bet those demons won't be expecting us to suddenly bring the moon to hell to beat them up. The druids will have nothing to complain about since it's not destroyed, at least until we use it to orbitally drop some of the Necromancy department's finest creations on their asses. This way we can also alleviate >>51182913's concerns. Indeed it would make his colleagues stronger if we can change the position and phase of the moon on a whim. No more needing to wait for the stars to be right.

>>51184432
Whoops, messed up my identification number. Terribly sorry chaps, first time doing one of these things.

>>51184107
Uhh, right then. Uh... like *this*?

>>51184202
Wait what?! S-shit, David was swimming there! You at least... erm... cleared it out first... right? I don't wanna be the one to tell 'is mum 'er son is... er, dead.

>>51184570
Death is just an affliction, sonnny, give me a chunk of him and i can build you a bigger better david, or better yet that could be your end of semester assignment.

Son, have you considered at least a minor in TIME WIZARDRY?

>>51184627
>>51184570

>>51184595
Oh, that sounds... er... w-wonderful. First a dead rat, then my best... friend... should be... e-easy.

>>51184627
Uh, David was a minor in time wizardy, not... em, sure he put to good use though. Last I heard he was... apparently aboleth food.

>>51184710
Clearly he learned nothing from my lessons, but perhaps his failure could serve as ample motivation to succeed where he did not!

>>51184710
Oh its simple and ill be guiding you the entire way. Hell if you wabted you can even make him female, and your girlfriend! Its how the the duke met his current wife, dont you know.

>>51184748
Um... well, I, er, I suppose being able to un-burn toast might be a good skill to have...

>>51184785
I think Dave's mum wants HIM, not HER... er, besides, I prefer pyromancers, they're... hot, haha... um.

>>51184835
The ability to unburn toast? Your ambitions are so low! Perhaps you are not fitting for a Time Wizard. You could've had the real Dave AND a female flesh golem Dave!

>>51184835
Ah i see, an incestuous relationship, i see, reminds me of those nothmen from, well, the north. Well, better make sure he has his phallus so she can still enjoy the fruits of her womb

>>51184927
Truly the best of both worlds

>>51184570
Dave is fucking DEAD.
I don't think we can drink the water either.
There are eggs in it...

>>51184983
Is there nothing as beautiful as the intersect of magical disciplines?
Such as Chronomancy and Necromancy.
Or Divination and Chronomancy.
Enchantment and Chronomancy.
Chronomancy and Chronomancy.

>>51184928
Wait what?! N-no! No, I meant that she wants her son to be a SON, not that she... "wants" her son! I mean, as far as I know... um.

>>51184927
Oh, er, well maybe we can try getting the real Dave... I think we can pass on female flesh golem Dave though, though I mean if YOU wanted that... uh...

Could... I get some help getting his gibs from the pool?

>>51185047
I worry about your chronomancy fetizh.

>>51184317
You see a dispelling WOULD work.
If the beast hadn't stolen my book and scrolls.

>>51185053
Ah, sorry, been dealling with northmen too much, my boy, well, i still expect you to craft me something for end of semester. An abomination perhaps.
>>51185047
Truly its magical
>>51185061
Ugh, well, better active the wards tgen
We still have the wards in place, dont we?

>>51185136
I still remember when I presented myself having finished my second year to myself at the end of my first year. I was so proud of myself.

>>51185136
Yeah but that beast is pretty strong.
Aso how do you get slime out of your clothes?

>>51173262
As I metioned here, (>>51162934), I believe the moon is just a psycosomatic trigger to the transformation, which is naturally cyclic without the moon's influence, much like, to mention another monthly phenomena, menstruation.
And if we need to put the moon back in place, we could very well cobble the debris back together.
We could even repeat the experiment and returning the moon to it's original form afterwards.
It's not like we can distinguish meter-wide cracks on the moon from the surface anyway.

>>51178887
I remember seeing the small one as a child. Or was it the large one? It had a polka dot like pattern due to the dark craters on it's surface.
A continent was sunk due to the tides. we'll do better this time.
It's disapearence inspired me into becoming a wizard. The memories.
>>51179177
The last one resigned when the second moon disapeared. Something about differences in opinions.

>>51185519
Baking soda, lemon juice and vinegar. If that doesn't work, just buy new clothes. And dont worry, our wards are stronger.

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>>51185270
I remember the rift that almost caused. You had quite the talent for mischief if i recall... something about a mass disrobing of the student body

>>51181212
Master, have you figured out a way to produce blood magically?
Before you chastise me, master, please understand that I only study hemomancy for research purposes.
I desperately need it in order to prove magical enthropy in my Hemomancy thesis.
The gist is that the amount of mana extracted from the blood by hemomancy is always lower than the mana required to form the blood. But the production of blood being a natural process, I can't measure the amount of mana that goes into it, while using a healing spell that could produce blood would allow me to measure the amount of mana used.
>>51185892
Master Barkly, do happen to know how to conjure blood? I admit not knowing whether blood has it's place in necromancy.
My thesis is due in a few weeks.

>>51186043
I dont often use blood, my boy, but i think i may be able to help. If you cast duplicate upon a small amount, it should multiply... there was a spell that transmuted various liquids in to blood. It was made by one of the graduates here, believe he called it "blood in the water", not terribly original, but it may help. I believe it was a variation on water to wine. If you can tap into the right spot in the plane of gore and viscera, that could also work

>>51186183
Just tried duplication. Duplicated blood has no magical properties. Otherwise it's identical to the original blood and it would seem it can still be used medicinally. At least, the frog whose blood I've swapped with the duplicated blood is still leaping around my room.
I've found the "Blood in the water" spell in a prank grimoire. The "blood" produced barely has any red corpuscules and I doubt the substance is actually blood. It however looks the part and can surely be used in stage plays. Am I looking at the wrong spell?
Also, on a side note: How does "Water to wine" work? I've always thought it merely coloured the water, and changed it's flavour and aroma.

WIZARDS ARE BEST.

>>51183115
You miss the point in that case. We're attempting to study their biology in an untransformed state, without being hindered by their occasional transformation.

>>51182277
I TAKE A SMALL NAP, AND MY AUTO-SCRIBE TELLS ME YOU'RE ALL PLANNING TO MAKE MY RESEARCH OBSOLETE!!!

If we're changing the Astro-material dynamics, I'm going to need to preform another gravo-variable test. And:

1. That's going require MORE paper work for Dravenport. Thanks. Truly.

2.It's going to be AT LEAST another 9 months of saved magical energy, AS WELL AS another couple of months just to gather the materials needed for my prototype ONE TIME USE magical capacitors.

But NOOOOO, obviously the Lycanthropy needs the moon more! WHY NOT?! *begins to grumble to himself as he begins to munch on what looks like crystallized jerky*

>>51182913
>>51184432

I entirely, and un- biased (ly?) Age with these fellows, they seem to have their heads on straight.

Oh
I should probably introduce myself
The supreme holy court has ruled,after several hundred cities being genocided because of lack of understanding of elementals and nature, that druidism is now an arcane school and must be included in all mage guilds from now on

Once again, please don't blow up the moon, thousands of cities will die from the waves and debrie and the backlash from moon bears,moon crocodiles, moon egales, and moon elementals will have a 96.7866534210937 percent chance of killing everything

>>51188881
What if we create an artificial moon afterwards that doesn't give off the blutz waves that cause lycanthropy? That, or we can cast a global dispel effect that cures Lycanthropy altogether...

Wait, nevermind. An enchantment of that size is going to take a LOT of sacrificial virgins, which I doubt even exist anymore ever since the Eromancers became a sanctioned magical school. Damned perverts...

>>51160394
No such thing as something that isn't worth destroying the moon. I would destroy the moon for fun if I had the resources personally.

My personal belief is that, in order to deal with these druids, we should take whatever dirt-caked treeman they call a leader and make some sort of deathtrap, and then force them to agree or he dies.

We'll need a white and a normal tiger, two sloth bears, the bones of a half-dwarf-half-giant, and some 40 gallons of tapioca.
Or we could appease the druids, with a flesh-golem made out of bits and pieces of every mundane animal. I'm sure they'd love it.

>>51188881
Oh shut it, you. No harm has ever come of destroying a celestial body so small.

>>51186346
Get out of here and go back to that paper, youngster! Don't bother the masters. And don't underestimate blood in the water.
>>51188242
9 months, you say? Surely there must be a way to speed up the process...
How about using blood? I mean, blood has a much higher magical energy density than air, so we could speed up the process.
Um... As for gathering the blood...
"NOTICE TO STUDENTS: A general blood test will conducted in order to measure average magical density in the blood of our students. All absentees will have to properly justify their absence. Also calling for volunteers for extra blood sampling for medical research."
How does that sound?

>>51186346
It actually changes the molecules in the water, transmuting them to an alcoholic beverage indistinguishable from wine.
>>51189316
Spellbreaker, at your earliest convenience, go deal with that monster >>51184202 summoned in the pool. As much fun as it is piecing the apprentices back together bit by bit, its also damn tireing, and Kord knows one of them will try to swim in it with the damn beast still in there
>>51189944
I may have such a golem lying around, it is made entirely out of vaginas though, i was trying to see if i could create womb to birth any animal... the results were... unexpected
>>51188242
Well we can always make a new moon when we're done, old boy, i mean we have 3 lying somewhere in storage somewhere.
>>51186839
I miss the point often, its part of the problem of being a dog, sadly

>>51190566
My good man, marvelous idea, i think i have a creature that would be perfect for the collection process too

>>51190653
Some sort of mosquito hybrid or a vampiric creature?
I will have to leave the task of collecting the blood to others, I am unfortunately terrible with needles.
Now, I have to calculate the exact amount of blood for the spell, get the paperwork for the materiel ready and prepare my class. Maybe I'll teach my students that the "Blood Magic + Cure Wounds" loop is a myth.

>>51190934
Mosquito monster, the only vampire i allow in my life is me darling jessica. Such a lovely and loyal woman.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>51190593
Well technically I'm on vacation, but I suppose since you guys have been good to me in the past...

*Casts banish on monster*

As this guild's preeminent moon destroyer, I will destroy the moon with assistance from my Punchomancers and take the blame once again. The Druids have never done more than grow plants in the shape of profane gestures outside my window, so in reality they're not a problem.

So, uh, Eric? Is Eric there?

I tried bringing back Dave on my own, and, er, he won't stop screaming.

I'm not sure why, but he just keeps making these weird motions and keeps screaming.

Whoever is stealing all the alkahest from the Janitorial closet, stop.

-Management

>>51194491

Is it on the 5th floor?

>>51185892
That may have taken less than a moment for everyone else, but let me tell you that was hard work. Took me ages.
>>51194465
Yes lad. How did you accomplish this? That doesn't sound like regular chronomancy to me, are you sure you weren't using necromancy still?

>>51191899
Um... I'm n-not sure it worked.

My... I have a primer on, um, counterspell measures... I don't think you were supposed to make it bigger... *cough*

>>51194519
I... um, I MAY have mixed books a little bit...

I tried to use that... I tried to use... I think it was a piece of rib I found in the pool, I tried to, er, reconstitute it using something I learned in lecture today, and then dilate time t-to before he got in the... pool.

I mean he-he LOOKS okay, but he keeps, er, spitting out these weird looking eggs. As well as, er, the nonstop screaming.

>>51194638
Sounds like you should be talking more to Professor Fluffbottom about this, may have been covered in monster goop. Sounds like you've merged them together.

>>51194680
Oh, um... okay. That's... well, I'm sure... daveboleth? Abolave? Er, I'm sure... IT probably wants to die, s-should I try to dispell its' magic?

Erm, where did Professor Fluffbottom go, anyway?

>>51194769
Probably chewing on his new dragon bones. Looks like we should go on an adventure...
A TIME ADVENTURE

>>51194429
You did steller work on the last moon, i was quite impressed.
>>51194638
>>51194680
My word, boy, get him to my lab, tell my wife exactly what happened, and she and my assistants shall sort him out. sir eric, i if you wouldn't mind sending some of your assistants there also. We may have a necro paradox on our hands.
>>51194508
No, second, next to the library

>>51194847
I was under the table, ellen has some lovely underware on by the way

>>51194875

Hrm. Well, then it's probably not my fault then.

>>51194875
I guess we could do that instead of a time adventure... C'mon Botelus, let's clean this mess up through the necromancy department. >>51194769

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>>51194915

Hey now! Don't make me go all spooky on your undead doggy bottom.

>>51194941
Whew, last time someone went on a time adventure it took us poor bastards on maintenance duty weeks to fix the damage.

>>51194875
N-necro paradox? Oh dear... I'm going to get d...detention for this aren't I?

>>51194941
Um... c-could we still go on the time adventure? W-we could stop Magus Zukal from e-ever casting that summoning spell.

>>51194955
Apologies m'dear, they are a lovely shade of pink though. My remindes me of my wifes, though hers have little bats on them. Any way... the moon, what shall we do about this moon

>>51195030
Nonsense. We are to do as your instructor requested and go straight to his lab to sort out your abomination. Time Adventure on the way back. They'll never realise we were gone. At least, not until they find the dinosaur eggs. Or they hatch.

>>51195030
M'boy, i dont believe in detention, you'll have lab duty for a week instead,

>>51195144
Oh, um, okay. I... er, what do I do with Daveboleth's eggs?

>>51195070
Wait... dinosaur eggs? H-how far back are we going?

>>51195244
A minor detour, lad! We'll have Dave out of that pool in no time. Or should I say, in time past!

>>51195244
My wife may have use of them

>>51195049

... I'm sure they're lovely...

>>51195049
Well, are we seeking an amicable solution with the druids or not? I have no doubt of our capability to destroy the moon, but are we to fool the druids into thinking we have not?

>>51195975
Its not like we cant just shift the moon forward in time so that it "disappears" for just long enough that we can finish our research. If we doit on a new moon, the druids wont notice for atleast a weed tops

>>51196210
Spoken like a true time wizard.

>>51194491
Are you sure it isn't just dissolving itself?

>>51196210
I stand by the suggestion of making a trap, though I amend the materials needed to just some dwarf-giant bones and the tapioca. Turns out that tigers are actually quite hard to acquire.

>>51196329
Depends are you looking for home grown, fresh off the vine, organic tigers? Or do you want the gmo ones?

>>51196383
Those ones grown in the glass cubes in the east, it'd make them more unsettled if it's a freak.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

*intake of breath*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>51196383

I don't know if necromancy is capable of producing organic tigers.

>>51196483
Well if it isn't capable, then what's the point?

>>51196539

Bringing back a biomancer who can?

>>51196548
That isn't a tiger though.

Maybe if we just break a little piece of the moon we can attract some weretigers?

>>51196575

Lunar magics and biology aren't exactly my thing. I'm more of the ectomagic kinda stuff, but I don't think it works that way.

>>51196610
Firstly, that sounds like quitter talk- what are you, some kind of druid?

Secondly- ghost tigers?

>>51196649

Quitter talk? Hardly. Just looking for a smoother course of action is all.

Ghost tigers are simple. Present me with a tiger, and I can get you a ghost tiger.

>>51196725
Well, that just brings us back to square one, in which we don't have a tiger. I do, however, have 40 gallons of tapioca.

On an assuredly unrelated note, nobody should go to the bathroom on the 4th floor, as you may come into contact with a gelatinous mass of disgusting pudding-beast.
Not my fault.

>>51160394
HAVE YOU SHOWED THEM MY EQUATIONS?

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*two mouth clicks* Eyyyy Everyone!

>>51196847
Hey Riktus, how'd you deal with my last TIME ADVENTURE?

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>>51197086
Banged the Queen of Spain, got to torture some heretics, was good times! *two mouth clicks*

>>51197167
Ayy my man. Never short of a job around here are you?

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>>51197298
*two mouth clicks*

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>Pulls out a folding orb.

h'Alright. Ze Druids haff a point. Ze moon is still very important for all zat cannot leave zis plane.

Maybe ve do not need to destroy one vhen we can get a second one?

>>51197342
*two mouth clicks*

>>51197372
Well, if we break it in two, we technically have two moons, which means we could just destroy half and still have one.

>>51197833
And then there will never be a full moon for werewolves to transform under! Brilliant!

>>51197833
>>51197941

Now you see my plans! But how do we split it? I hev been near zhere once. Nothing can breathe there.

>>51198015
I believe earlier we were discussing the use of undead labour to that purpose.

>>51198029

Not a bad plan, maybe if I a lucky with my, -ahem- surges, that can be easy.

>>51198029
>>51198047
We just need to animate some dead lizard-people, and then launch them into space somehow.

Im glad to see that everyone is able to come together and coperate

Now i have to go deal with a bunch of inquisiters calling me a heretic and need to go into hiding for another ten years or so

Have fun!
Ps: moon animals and elementals have magic immunity because of the nature of magic and its relation to the moon

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>>51160394

Please, Kill me.

>>51200796
Never
Fucking
Ever

>>51200796
But who would tend to our library then?

>>51201275
>>51201303

I beg you! My entire existence is only a cruel joke, I know only misery and pain!

At least forbid the apprentices from gluing stuff to my jar! I may not have a body anymore, but I have some dignity!

>>51201478
There is no indignity in your fashionable hat and monocle!

>>51201498

At least I'm happy my family is long dead and cannot see me in this state.

But I admit, the hat is very fashionable.

>>51201557
You do know that your wife and five daughters were used to make the vagina golem right

>>>/qst/

>>51205464
????????

Colleagues! We have a golden opportunity here, and we mustn't let it go to waste.

It seems as if detonating the moon might be problematic, while removing the moon from existence leaves the need for an expensive facsimile.

Instead, I propose we simply relocate the moon to another plane! Our research would then be twofold. On this plane we might observe the effects of the moon's absence, while on another plane I could conduct my research of celestial bodies of the non-material planes!

>>51200796
Never, you were my finest creation! Posh, my boy, you are the apex of flesh sculpture and golemancy! to kill you would be a crime against magic itself!

>>51206140
I vote we displace it in time! TIME!

>>51211955
You Time Mages are so single minded! Has it occured to you that Dimensional Space IS Time? Therefore by studying the boundaries of different planes I study Space and Time!

Honestly I'll never understand why the college gives hacks like you a budget. Harumph

>>51215109
How dare you insult my craft! I'll have you know I've worked at this institution longer than it's been around!
Always looking for some fancy solution like moving an entire moon to another plane, when all we need to do is push it back a couple weeks. What if your plane destroys the moon? What will we do to appease the druids then? What if it comes out smelling funny? Or made of some other element?

>>51210018

Curse you, Grand Master! You sentenced me to an eternity of suffering, ridicule and wearing a monocle without having any eyes!

By the way, you were fined 5 gold coins for being late with the return of THAT book.

You know... [Spoiler] Moonlight Bay Part 3: A Great Love never dies [/Spoiler]. I'd like to read it myself.

>>51217507
>moonlight bay
I-I never knew that the grandmaster was so l-lewd

>>51217507
>>51219190
Ah, moonlight bay 2 iz bezt in zeriez.
>Huffs

Any word on the Beholder eye experiments, my master is wondering how they handle being blind, and what the properties and possible uses their eyes might bring.

>>51221578
If you want beholders, head down to Red Keep. They've got plenty of the bastards locked away and I'm sure the guards will be more than happy to have you inflict suffering on the fiends.

>>51221715
I would need some high class healers to keep them alive as I remove their eyes and maybe someone who can look into to the magical properties of the eyes.