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Meanwhile, on Kobold /tg/...

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Thread replies: 206
Thread images: 71

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Guys, need some help. Boss's favorite plundering town picked up an infestation of Adventurers recently, Wizard, Cleric, the whole pack.

Any advice on getting rid of them? Preferably without getting turned into a newt.
>>
>>51146542
Way I figure it, it's easier to make yourself not worth the effort than trying to get past their magical armory-whatsits and stuffs.
So then you got two options, right? One is to make yourself really fucking prickly. You got traps, I got traps, the Cleric's a trap, but you want MORE traps. Like, everything is a trap. Even traps are traps.
Maybe trapped traps are traps, I don't know I'm not a trapmaker, just an enthuastic amateur. Magic shit too, magic traps. And if they want something you've got, get rid of it if you can or trap it. Basically, you want the adventurers to realise that shit shit ain't worth it.
Option two is to play nice to them. Make it so getting rid of you just wouldn't feel right, it ain't worth it for even a heap of gold. Not a big heap mind, they're fucking adventurers after all and we're kobolds. But a small heap made of mostly silver, maybe.
To do that, less sure. I think it's more a case-by-case basis. Offering a bit of help/loots in exchange for a task went well last time my tribe got into adventurer troubles.

That, or just bugger off and lay low for a couple weeks and come back to help rebuild afterwards.
>>
>>51146640
Problem is, I don't think the boss will want to hold off on plundering that town until the adventurers leave, or wait for them to come to him. He really, really likes plundering that town.
>>
>>51147037
Make more fucking traps then. Shout at them that the town is secretly evil or something.
I should not have to tell you to make traps. This isn't /gob/. Oh by the way dragons are neat. I wouldn't normally say that but I feel like you're behind on the basics.
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You've got several options.

>>51146640 has a point. Ramping up your trap production is definitely an option.

Likewise, attempting to make yourself useful to them is another option. Doesn't usually work, though. The scale-less savages don't really understand 'alliances' or 'friendship' or 'community'.

Personally, I'm more of a 'poison the well' kobold. There are a variety of parasites and toxins that don't bother us at all. Transporting them into sensitive areas of the town can lead to the scaleless ones becoming very sick, adventurers included. Then you could either offer them cures in exchange for non-aggression treaties, or let them die.

I just hope they aren't infested with 'Gnomes', disgusting little dirt-fuckers.
>>
>>51150174
>I'm mixing drinks for the dragon and hating my life.jpg
>>
>>51146542
Never had trouble with adventurers before. Ever since we made that sewer for copper town they've left us alone. Did have some trouble with orcs a while back. Maybe it's the same.

So first off, crossbows. Yeah, expensive as hell and hard to make but trust me a good crossbow is worth it's weight in gold. Any stupid-stupid can use one and you can use them in tunnels too. Y'heard me, indoor shooting. Good barracades also help. Something to rest the crossbow on when you're not cowering behind it. Put a pit trap in front of it and you've got somethin' serious.

Also, extra tunnels help. We had sneaky ways all over the mountain once. Turned an entire valley into one big trap with hidden crossbow nests from all directions. I know, I know, more ways for them to get in but if you keep the side tunnels under three feet it'll slow down most tall-folk.

I had one tunnel that was less than one foot tall. Cramptest half mile I know but there was a Strawberry patch on the other side. Strawberries! The females never look at you the same after you get them strawberry jam.

Finally, most other races don't do digging like we do. You want something, dig under it. Once, we dug this big cavern under a building and had the whole thing fall in. Never saw it coming.
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>>51150360
I cannot recommend use of canine cavalry, and canine patrol packs. They are aggressive, loyal, integrate easily into civilized society, and breed quickly.
>>
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Fuck it, might as well post here. You might have grubs for brains but this board occasionally throws up gold.
Part of a big ol' warren on the giantbone mountains, tunnels and families over a few mountains. Nice life, if a little cramped for me. Point is, one of our tunnelers went and tunneled right into a dwarven mine system. Yeah. Impressive tunnels though, if kind of inefficient. All those straight lines!

Freaked both of us tribes -is it tribes with dwarves or clans?- there was a little blood spilled before we pulled back to assess what was going on.
Actually got a little talking done on opposite sides of the breach at range. Kind of funny seeing our dragon acolyte shout at the hairy fatties back and forth Half of it was "What? I didn't catch that, can you repeat that? And louder?" until we moved a little closer.
Way I figured it, both of us knew about the other but didn't realise we ranged this far underground so we didn't think to do any detecting or cleverstuff like that.

How boned are we? We're a big warren and all, but no patron and up against dwarves. No dragon means no dragonfire.
>>
>>51146542
GNOME SLAVE WAT DO??
>>
>>51151387
>Posting stale "Gnome Slave" meme
>In the year of the frozen Dingbat

Lurk more Newtfag.
>>
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>>51146542
Trap the Humies. Race war now.
>inb4 go back to /gob/
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>>51151366
Probably not too much, as long as none of your tribe does anything to antagonize them.

You'll probably have to start asking them for permission to start digging in certain directions, unfortunately.
>>
>>51146542
How tough do they look? You might just have to pray to your local dragon to protect you.
>>
>>51156782

Bugbear Undernet Defence Force detected. gb2/gob/ please, this is a peaceful tunneling discussion board.
>>
kobolds were better when they looked like pugs
>>
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>Related to dragon master race
>Humans are not
>Humans still run the world for the most part
What went wrong?
>>
>>51158023
Humans kill Dragons. A lot. I mean, like a Lot. Like, seriously they have entire markets run around dragon body parts. It's kinda depressing actually.
>>
>>51157970
>>>/pol/
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>>51158521
Poor masters ]:
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>>51150174
keep dreaming you pathetic Wyrm-rats. You exist so your betters can leave your bodies crushed under our iron fucking boots.

Your life is of no value, kobolds. You are vermin and will die as vermin.
>>
>>51151387
Kill the genocidal rodent before it betrays you and slaughters your clan. You know where they fucking come from. You know the legends. The only good gnome is a dead gnome. No exception.
>>
>>51160087
Yeah, sure. Enjoy your fleas, ticks, and lice, you disease-riddled manticore hairballs.
>>
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I came here to laugh at all of you.
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Legit question guys, what do you do if you accidentally activate your own pit trap?

I'm asking for a friend.
>>
>>51161514

Make another one, obviously.

Dead end hallway 3A could use another pit trap.
>>
>>51157873
Well, that's some shit and no mistake. It's a mountain! It's not like they made it. Why do we have to ask them to dig? They didn't ask us.
Though if we can just go back to ignoring each other I'll be happy, so not worst thing I suppose.

>>51161514
Contemplate suicide.
>>
GRONK
>>
>>51158521
>It's kinda depressing actually.
Yes is it. SELLING DRAGON EYES! GET'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT! ONLY 200 GP FOR A PAIR!
>>
>>51163424
How about I sell you a pair of stabbed kobold eyse? Your own, for free.
>>
>>51165386
...still not as bad as the kobold fetishists, at least.
>>
>>51165770
Speaking of, I was doing some muggings on the street and I see this pale girl. "Easy mark" I think and the next thing I know I'm out cold. So I'm lying there in agony waiting for Hell, and I wake up, and this girl has me tied up by a campfire and is PETTING me like a dog!

She was saying something in the surface language and she untied me in the morning and let me go.

What in Tiamat's name just happened!?
>>
>>51165770
Says the one who isn't making a massive amount of gold by loaning out kobolds to fetishists.

>>51166951
She was probably a ghost.
>>
>>51167000
Ghosts don't give you concussion and lumps the size of my fist.
>>
>>51167000
If a skinlover and a kobold fetishist want to do stuff it's no scales off me. I'd profit from it if I could, but I'm not sending my kin to that unwillingly.
Their eyes though. I felt like needing a wash after a minute.

>>51166951
You got lucky is what. Bad stuff happened and you survived. Any day with trouble or danger that you can pass with only a bruise is good one.
>>
>>51161514
Dig up, stupid.
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I think I saw my master browsing this board, what do?
There's a chance /dgn/ has similar threads, but I swear I recognized the trap general OP thumbnail and a "dumb shit adventurers do" thread that was up a while ago.
Maybe she's a mod or something, but still...
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Would you a princess?
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>>51165386
Who said I was a kobold?
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>>51171295
>not being a kobold
>posting on /kbd/
>year of frozen dingbat

I don't have an etching of a cartoon child in the eastern style looking self-satisfied enough to convey my emotional response to your post.
>>
>mfw all these faggotsdon't even have a dragon master
Lmao, fucking losers! He even said I did a good job!
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>>51172004
It feels bad, man.
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>>51172136
>tfw he pointed for first time in my direction and said "yes, yes, VERY GOOD that's the spot" when I was on cleaning duty
Cleaning duty is best duty because you get second most good jobs, and it's not dangerous like treasure duty.
>>
>>51172173

Clearly you are second rate, pleaseing master is best job.
>>
>>51172220
>Having a master so small you can please him
>Talks about second drake
Shoo-shoo with your wyrm or drake.
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You guys would not believe the adventure I just had.
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>>51172173
I get it, it's great. Meanwhile I'm sitting here without a master, and I probably wouldn't even be picked for cleaning or nothing! Just be the same practice magics and help trapmakers and miners that I do now.
>>
>>51172423
>Wanting adventure
Why?
>Staying in the burrow
+Warm
+Nice
+Cozy
+Food
+Work
-Bullies
>Adventures
-Cold
-Not nice
-Wild beasts
-Adventurers
-Bullies
>>
>>51170643
>master
>she
Isn't the title "Mistress" then? I wouldn't bring it up, though so long as you're only on here when you don't have anything to do, she might appreciate playing along with any of this board's memes if she starts one.
I have heard that there are a few dragon mods or janitors here, though; I guess they just want even more kobolds to hold power over.

>>51172300
I've been lucky enough to get that duty a couple of times. It's really a full-body sort of thing, and often he calls for two of us. Gotta make sure to cover yourself head-to-tail in some form of lubrication, unless your master's into dry-scales.
>>
>>51172550
...I think your definition of cleaning duty is different to mine.
>>
>>51172485
>implying I wanted to go on it

I followed the wizard out of the cave to try and kill him, but the big green angry one thought I was being ..."adorable" and they took me hostage. Or so they thought! I let them take me hostage so I could learn the magics of men, and now I have my own horde: two whole coppers!
>Bullies
Pls, the bullies won't take my lunch anymore once I buy them off.
>>
>>51172550
Your master is a fucking DEGENERATE, I bet he's metallic too and CG, what a fag.
>>
>>51172576
Worst cleaning duty is post-monstrous knight party cleaning duty.

>I want the armors
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>>51146542
>>
>>51172595

Fuck off, at least my mistress doesn't live in a fucking sewer and isn't black

>#Servinggold,#goldmasterrace
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>>51171993
>I don't have an etching of a cartoon child in the eastern style looking self-satisfied enough to convey my emotional response to your post.
I do.
>>
>captcha: identify red dragons
>includes pic of dead blue
fucking hell. Who's in charge of that shit, humans?

>>51172595
I don't understand it either, but I have no reason to criticize his decisions.

>>51172651
Golds have weird wings. Green a best.

>>51172665
>elf reaction image
>ever
>>
Reminder
>Master race
RED DRAGON
>am a fucking shit-kobold might as well be a goblin
other colors
>Am a degenerate and like when adventurers fuck my cloaca!
Metallic
>>
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>>51172709
I've shit posted for 10,000 years, and I'll shit post for 10,000 more.
>>
>>51172651
>not following actual gold

Now we're all anonymous kobolds here, but are you sure you're not just a lizardman pretending to be a kobold?
>>
>>51172589
>two coppers
The most I ever got was a rusty copper dagger.
>>
>>51171993
HIDF?! On MY board?!
>>
Post your >adventurer stories
>Get sent to pick berries
>It sucks
>It's cold
>At least it's dark
>Suddenly out of fucking NOWHERE elf adventurer naked
>He sees me
>I run while a hung naked elf tries to catch me for over an hour

I fucking HATE going out.
>>
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>>51172173
My green mistress likes to look at the stars. I get to polish the big look-through-thing!
>>
>>51173107
>tfw all yours keeps is ancient artifacts

I miss k'zzzukzz 61212c, he got obliterated by a wand of obliterate he was cleaning.
>>
>>51172955

I can assure you I have nothing to do with unfeeling cold bloods
>>
Human idiot here.

After an incident involving a gas leak at a mine I own, I now have about two dozen unhatched kobold eggs with no parents in my possession.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? My wife died long ago and I kind of want to raise them, but I also have no idea how to raise a kobold.
>>
>>51173237
GET OUT.
YOU WANT OUR SECRETS.
>>
>>51173237
GAS THE HUMANS! RACE WAR NOW!
>>
>>51173237
Leave them at a nearby cave. You wouldn't be able to handle the difficulties of raising a smart and crafty species
>>
>>51173287
>>51173276
Look I'm just trying to help here.

>>51173296
I think I probably could, to be quite honest. I'm a resourceful guy.
>>
>>51173363

The truth of the matter is they are more than likely lost. If their brood has been killed they won't be taken in by another and will more than likely be eaten.

Your best course of action is to kill them to spare them suffering. The most human way would be to slowly freeze them
>>
>>51173398
Hey, hold up, I'm not going to kill twenty babies. I already killed like five dozen kobolds completely on accident, I'm going to have to donate half my profits for the next decade to the temple to make it right.

I'm just one guy but I'm quite wealthy. I can hire servants and stuff to help me raise them. Seriously, I can do this.
>>
I wish I could one day play houses&people with a REAL human... I wonder what their voices sound like.
>>
>tfw defeated by fucking SATYRS and violated for hours
my cloaca hurts what do? All the squad agreed to not ever talk about this
>>
>>51173398
>The most human way

You cheeky cunt
>>
>>51173574
Were they hot satyrs?
>>
>>51173625
>Hot
I can't walk proper and it all hurts and bleeds, they're fucking SATYRS they're twice a kobold size, I think my pelvis broke.
>>
>>51173463

Your willingness and kindness are admirable, but you must understand that many kobolds are distrustful of humans (assuming you are human) and even then that may be the decision of whatever dragon they are serving.

>>51173608
I suppose honorable or proper should have been used. Then again I'm not of your mortal ilk and my obersvations are not absolute
>>
>>51173653
I do get why you're distrustful. I literally just accidentally killed a bunch of you, and I'm the only one who seems to be upset about it. Most of the guys down in the mine hated that I let them live in those caverns anyway.

I only need basic advice. Things to look out for, what kind of food to give them, what sort of hygienic habits I should instill in them. I can handle most of the rest.

I really just don't want anybody else to die.
>>
>>51171258
I would hug her and gently pat her head as she cries, saying that no-one's going to hurt her and everything will be alright. Then, once she's stopped wailing, I would hold her hand and comfort her until she stops trying to escape.
>>
>>51173463
Money doesn't fix deaths, but I take your point.

Can't reccomend you care for them, suggest finding other warren but assuming that's not possible. Incubation is typical for eggs, keep warm. Don't assist with hatching unless something goes wrong, it takes a bit.
Not going to bother to try and tell you how to raise kobold as kobold. Wouldn't fit in post anyway. Start small, in all things. Food and teachings. We learn and grow fast, but start small. No jokes about how we stay small. Heard them before.
They are kobold, not human, not dwarf, not halfing and definately not bloody gnome, remember that too. Smallest of dragons, servants to living gods. Pride as such and cunning are what we are, not heroism and resistance. Blood will out, don't fight it.

And don't let them think of you as a dragon, lost and ignorant they will be in your care. That's just insulting to them and dragons as a whole.
Mostly though.. we survive well enough without help. Hard to break us, won't be hard to keep them alive.
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>>51173752

I should note that I'm not a kobold, merely an observer who's watch the interactions between you mortals.

That said, I appreciate the genuine nature of your kindness
>>
>>51173852
>not a mortal
*Holds up pitchfork*
>>
>>51173805
Money really doesn't, you're right. I know that well enough from back in my younger days.

What do they eat, exactly? That's my main concern right now. I already have them by a fire, which I believe should help out with the warmth, but I need to know what to give them when they hatch. Fish?

As for the dragon thing, I don't want to be seen as an all-powerful, godlike overlord. More of a kindly headmaster is what I'm going for.

>>51173852
Oh, one of those types. Gotcha.

I'm sure you probably find this especially ironic considering that incident in the cave by the yawning river back when I was 24, if you're omniscient.
>>
>>51173896
>Oh, one of those types. Gotcha.
>I'm sure you probably find this especially ironic considering that incident in the cave by the yawning river back when I was 24, if you're omniscient.

I am not. I have seen mortals who have done horrible things but later became benevolent as well as the other way around. It's what makes you mortals so fascinating, not being confined to a single way of being.
>>
>>51173852
>immortal on /kbd/
Go back to.. well shit is there even an /immortals/ board on this? I think must you need Gold membership to see that like the /god/ board.

>>51173896
You realise we're often scavengers right? Human town dumps have plenty we can eat for saint's sake. Fish will be fine, mushrooms and fruits good too. Minced at first. Also no spices at fist, and avoid too much milkfoods. Tasty, but can cause trouble later with insides.
>>
>>51173528
Their voices are strange. Deep, slow, kinda slurring. Human faces can make the most interesting shapes, though!

>>51173793
My previous master used to use a similarly kind treatment to persuade captives to not escape. Well, that and traps. One time it worked well enough that one of them came back after she was rescued to visit him peacefully
>>
>>51174147
Okay, awesome. I can do that. You guys are pretty self-sufficient so hopefully they'll figure everything else out for themselves.

How quickly do they reach maturity? How long will it take for them to be able to speak?

>>51174081
It wasn't horrible, per say, just sort of ironic for this particular situation. Especially since the other guy I talked to called dragons "living gods," which, well, they're not. They're quite large and quite scary but enough damage and they die just the same as everything else.

I just wish the coward hadn't hid behind an army of relative innocents.

>>51173528
We're not that interesting, really, but if you show up at a local gaming house and try to play there's a decent chance they'll let you in, if you're in a kobold-friendly part of the kingdom. You'll be a novelty, at the very least. They might even let you play a game or two with them, if they're especially kind.
>>
>>51174147

I do have access to /god/ however I'm not very well received there because of my opinions on mortals. I tend to just lurk which is what I did before anyways.
>>
If I can break open a dragon egg and crawl inside it, will I become a dragon?
>>
>>51174246
>>51174330
Are humans warm?
>>
>>51174560
No, but you'll become dead real quick
>>
>>51174649
Yes. I was once kidnapped to be a human group's thief or something for a couple weeks - just had to find traps, really. Apparently the female one decided to try to make sure I didn't slip out during the night by holding me to her body as we slept. She was soft and warm, but kind of misguided - I stayed because the humans were taking watch in shifts and I didn't think I could sneak away; she had really poor form to pin my arms to my sides.
I didn't get to touch the males much, so I don't know if it's a gender thing, maybe only the females are warm and the males are frigid or something.
>>
>>51174649
Yes, we are warm-blooded.

There's humans who are into cuddlign and doing other shit to kobolds but you're going to have to look in some really sketchy parts of cities for that kind of thing
>>
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>>51172641
Glad to see another /K/obold, with our arms of fire and lead we shall those damn warm-skins the fury of the scaled folk!
>>
>>51174774

Human mortals tend to have similar levels of body temperature that they maintain for both genders. The only variance I've observered are those who are deeply into magic or have subjugated themselves to an immortal like myself as their physical properties tend to manifest in them.
>>
>>51174657
Mostly because a dragon will kill you for breaking an egg.

>>51174330
If I understand it right, kobold mature faster compared to human races. Fasater numbers, more deaths. Depends a little on tribe and dragon ancestry too.
Two years for some speech (not great), six for physical maturity, mental takes longer.
Forgot to say, forgot it's only scaled thing. Shedding, stone or like to help clear skin. Heated bath can help too, bitterleaf chew good for scales if you have it and it is known by that name. Try hiring other scaled race if you can. Similarities, easier to deal with.
Is this not in some guide to races somewhere? Bestiary even? It's not a secret.
>>
>>51174841
Or they'll just kill us all with their better guns. That could happen too.
>>
All this talk and not a signle mention of our great lord KING TORG

HAIL KING TORG!
>>
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>>51176654
Pffft. What do skinnies know about guns? Or engineering? Or alchemy? We got this, Bro-Bold.
>>
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>>51174841
Preach it, nest-mate!
>>
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>>51177479
/ko/bolds unite. guns, steel and gods!
>>
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>>51177479
>>51177812
>>51174841
Mah nippas
>>
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>>51178598
>>51177812
>>51177479
Mine doesn't work
>>
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>>51178598
"The gods made the mortals different, and blackpowder made them equals,"
>>
>>51178757
'Bold from a plane where that's the truth here.

Not serving dragons is actually really awesome. You get a lot more free time to yourself, and you don't feel nearly as much self-loathing.
>>
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>>51178615
Listen here you little soft-scaled gobshite. You'n you don't take care o' yer piece, you ain't any better than gnome. You take care of your shootin' iron, it'll take care of you.
>>
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>>51179053
You know it. I swear, gunpowder has been the best discovery by my tribe since asbestos!
>>
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Sure, guns are fine, if you've got a lot of them and a lot of very refined mechanical and metallurgical engineering to throw at their production. But if you don't, there are other, quicker, more powerful methods of employing the same alchemical concoctions to defend your communities.
>>
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>>51179614
Knock it off, boom-boom, you know that isn't safe.
>>
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>Adapted Halfling armor
Anyone else use scale-enhancers?
>>
>>51173237
Hey I'm a representative from Waffle Hostel and I'd like to talk to you about a business opportunity.
>>
What's the game where you manage a pack of kobolds?
>>
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I sneaked into a human's house but it came home. I hid and I don't think it saw me.
What do?
>>
>>51179053
>Not serving dragons
Get out of here with that shit.
>>
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>>51184041
>MFW I convinced a bunch of warm blooded adventurers to help me kill the local dragon lord
GAS THE DRAGONS! KOBOLD UPRISING NOW!
>>
Speaking of dragons... anyone know of a good way to get it out there that we're a tribe without a dragon? I can't exactly put it on a town messageboard, "Kobold Tribe seeks Dragon for serving and mutual security".

Actually would that work? It's been so long since I even saw a real dragon I might well try it.
>>
>>51183694
didn't that guy draw that on his phone? still fucking baffles me
If you hid in a kitchen or a closet, find a different hiding space. If it saw you or sees you moving, claim to be lost and prepare to run if it turns hostile.
>>
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>>51178757

There is so much truth in this and the origenaly quote....guns really did change everything irl.
>>
>>51184613
Eh, not really. Try this, though:
>dig a few large chambers
>put large portion of treasure in one of the deepest ones
>much smaller portions in other places
>when adventurers come, try to drive them back rather than kill them
Ideally, word will spread that there's a tribe of kobolds in what looks like a dragon's lair, but no dragon to worry about. A dragon - probably young if they don't have cave and kobolds of their own - will hopefully fly in for uncontested treasure, cave, and kobolds.
>>
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>>51185868
yeah, he did
>>
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kobold has goods if you have coin
>>
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kobolds are just non-fuzzy and therefore inferior yinglets
>>
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>>51189668
>non-dragoconic
>superior
wrong
>>
>>51189822
Why do people call them rat birds? Apart from internal reproductives, which I do believe some land mammals have anyway, there's nothing bird like about them.
>>
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>>51189668
Those dingbats? Kobold superior! Very much so superior! They couldn't plan their way out of inflated bladder! Let alone spellcasts or build traps as good as Kobold.
Actually traps is bad example. Most races can't. Kobold -good- at traps.
Also >>51189822 is correct as well. Dragon is best. Kobolds is dragon. Therefore kobold is best. Littlest dragon, but still dragon.
Dragon more dragon than kobold, so even more best.
>>
>>51190012
Not sure. Think they have feathers? Some kobold have feathers on head instead of spines or frill, if I hear things correct.
Some dragons have feathers too, I think. Would make sense. Bet featherkobolds look funny though.
>>
>>51190012
they got birdy legs and feet
>>
>>51190081
Yings don't have feathers.
>>
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>>51190081
>>51190012
it is the bird like legs
>>
>>51190134
>>51190148
Or just hairless rodent legs and feet. They look like hopping mice without furry legs, which makes sense because they're river creatures.

I mean apart from the lack of fur they barely resemble bird legs.
>>
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>>51190081
>>51190012
It's the legs, they have very bird-like legs and feet.
>>
>>51190148
It's an

>Artist can draw strange, wacky creatures quite well, but can't draw humans to save his life

episode.
>>
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>>51190167
>>51190148
They look stupid. Kobolds much better. Kobold strong too!
>>
>>51190246
Honestly that's why most of my drawings are of dragons and furries. More interesting, and easier to draw.
>>
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>>51190472
>>51190246
The human mind doesn't have a real frame of reference for wacky creatures as they do the human face. That is why there is am uncanny valley.
>>
>>51190606
...maybe I -do- have a maid fetish after all.
>>
>>51190606
The uncanny valley can apply to animals too though. Obviously it's mostly the case with things which fail to resemble human, but it can happen with things which fail to resemble animals we are familiar with.
>>
>>51190648
Which is why zany creatures are the easiest to do. There isn't a real world thing or standard to compare it to
>>
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>>51190880
Cough, unconvincing cough.
>>
>>51191131
>tits on a reptile
>>
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>>51191168
Oh hey, I have an image for that, too
>>
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>>51146542
This all looks so familiar. Can I come in?
>>
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>>51191168
>>
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>>
>>51180854
Kobold Quest?
http://www.bay12games.com/games/
>>
>>51180854

Kobolds Ate My Baby?

Do you even Hail King Torg!, anon?
>>
>>51193615
>>
>>51193809

It appears that you didn't say the magic words, anon.

>there is the Deluxxx edition on google, which is OCR-ready
>>
>>51193841
really?
>>
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>>51146542

I really love traps. Do you?
>>
>>51193952
My favorite kind of trap is for elves
>>
>>51158023
Unfortunately, "Master race" does not mean "invincible race." Proof of our relation to dragons is, unfortunately, our inheritance of their pride.
In a Dragon, that pride is good and proper; they are the biggest, strongest, and best beings in the world, and it is only natural that they would take pride in that fact. In us, however, it is a vice; for if there is no strength to back that pride up, then it is mere arrogance. While dragons are born with both strength and pride, we are born with pride but must work to build that strength through diligence and hard work.
In short, our ancestors- and even our modern brethren- forget that our relation to dragons is a responsibility to uphold, rather than an entitlement of birth. That we are meant to uphold the magnificence of our progenitors does not make our actions automatically correct.
>>
>>51191168
>implying those aren't pecs
You do realize that's a dude, right?
>>
>>51195558
>tits on a dude
It's worse than I thought.
>>
>>51193952
Anon, please. I can only take so much Tomoko
>>
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>>51195558
You sure? I thought the other one was a guy,
at least the porn only shows the other one's penis
>>
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>>
>>51197942
HNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!
>>
Umm guys, I'm a bit concerned.
Our master trapmaker bit I to the special mushroom store again, you know the one that only the local Dragon-Priest is allowed to get into? Anyway, after snacking on a few he suddenly got into this weird trance like state and drew up schematics for this.

He said it will help us gift the larger races more easily, but it sure don't look like a trap to me. Plus he recently started asking the sorcerers to make a bunch of Rings of Featherfall.

Should I be worrried? What should I do? Can any of you trapsmiths or tunnel engineers even tell me what this thing is supposed to even be or do?
>>
>>51198258
>gift
*fight
I need to get the sorcerer to fix the auto-correct on this crystal ball
>>
>>51195473
That pride is not justified in dragons. It gets them killed just as often.

Trust me.


In other news, I'm fairly sure the eggs are hatching soon. They're moving around a lot. That's supposed to happen, right?
>>
>>51198341
Yeah, just make sure there's is food near by, and plenty of it. The young are capable of moving and seeking food within minutes of hatching, and will often try to eat both their own eggshells and their siblings
>>
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Has there truly ever been a better Kobold?
>>
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>>51190167
I see no bird here.
>>
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>>51191249
So do I.
>>
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>>51198258
Yeah, that happened to one of our trap-masters a while back. But on the whole, it turned out pretty good.
>>
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I was sneaking around in a human's house in the middle of the night and I found this trading card, I think the human living there is some sort of wizard.

The human lives in a big stone house, in the middle of nowhere, a couple miles from our caves. I'm going back tonight to see if I can get more of these cards.
>>
>>51163388
HISS
>>
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>>51198828
Talking yinglet, not kobold, in regards to the bird legs
>>
>>51177812
>>51177479
>>51177441
>>51174841

You look real threatening until recoil happens and your tiny scrawny bodies fall over.
>>
>>51198839
>>51191249

Blame the gods.

No, really, blame the gods. Obsessed with putting tits on anything that doesn't have a dick. Snakes? Nagas and/or medusas.Trees? Dryads. Mountains? Stone giants. And the fertility gods! They don't even follow the "doesn't have a dick" limitation.

Whole tribe of kobolds over west of the Skrngrrbr mountains, they were drafted into an army to fight some lich who was trying to become a god, in the end they hardly needed to because a bunch of older gods dropped by in the middle of the whole ritual-slash-battle thing to break his kneecaps or something, keep their monopoly going. But did they stop there? No.

Tits.

Any kobolds with breasts you see around, probably descended from those poor saps.
>>
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>>51201697
Something similar with feathers I think. Though that was more an elder dragon who wanted more colour in their lair, so grew feathers and then caused the same growth magically in their kobold followers. Recessive, but you do get feathery crests now and then popping up in otherwise scaly warrens.
Still, the addition of breasts actually lets us access towns more easily. Sometimes you even get kobold streets in slum areas! So, sort of useful.
>>
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>>
>>
>>51191168
>About a billion fantasy settings have their races shaped in the images of their gods. Then people complain about evolution.

Hey chaps. 8 times out of 10 times your fantasy-Darwin is wrong literally "Just because".
>>
>>51206599
Checked
>>
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>>
>>
>>51211798
Do you help your master out with the cooking?
>>
>>51215388
No dung for brains. She obviously poisoned him.
>>
>>
>>51216528
Woodbury inn
>>
>>51197053
link?
>>
>>51220707
>>>/trash/7236247
>>>/trash/7236190
>>
>>51191131
>Reverse image search
>Best Guess Dog

C'mon, sauce?
>>
Kobold monk here

How do you guys feel about a kobold republic, a land were you can mine and build traps without being molested by dragons or raided by dwarves

A land were you can worship whatever you want without being burned by drLIZARDONIA

a land were kobolds can live in peace side by side with there lizardmen brothers

I call it..... LIZARDONIA
>>
>>51160509
Tall talk from someone who can get ick from fresh water fish
>>
>>51221408
>no dragons
>nothing to use the traps on
>have to live with smelly lizardfolk
Sounds lame as fuck bro
Sorry you need a safe space and can't handle the REAL world
>>
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GUYS
POST YOUR HAPPIEST MOMENT.
PIC RELATED.
>>
>>51222359
When Master head patted me for job well done.
Second Best? When I killed a whole party of Adventures with one trap.
>>
>>51222411
liar.
>>
>>51191131
>>51220907

Seconded on that sauce pls
>>
>>51222411
>head patted
BLUE BOARD!
>>
>>51222439
No, seriously, they all fall to good old "fake obvious trap is actually a spring for a trap" ruse.
Like those tripwire which springs a trapdoor ahead? When you disarm it, it actually springs a trapdoor to pit filled with poo smeared spikes BEHIND wire. They really didn't see that coming.
>>
>>51222411
Don't fucking lie bro

Its not cool
>>
>>51222522
About which part?
Head patting or a really dumb adventures?
>>
>>51222572
Both
Dragons are too pure for us there's no way that would happen

And even if the adventurers were dumb fucks a trap dosen't have enough fire power to kill them all
>>
>>51221469
Whatever. Enjoy your Mange, psoriasis, and Eczema, soft-hide.
>>
>>51222665
No, no. It can happen. Adventurers stupid. Long bridge over lava? Trap flips bridge upside down. Adventurers covered in heavy armor? trap releases very small flesh-eating beetles that get under armor.

My favorite was when Tribe was working for Great Green of Western Woodlands. Elf-men not like Great Green. Want Great Green gone so they could be stupid-stupid in Great Green's forests. But Tribe clever-clever. Build special lair for Great Green. Very fancy. Carve stones to look like trees and carve trees to look like stone, put both together until stonetrees and treestones merge into solid walls. Tribe master artists. Top-top where Great Green flies in and out surrounded by much nastiness. Poison oaks, sumacs, needles, nettles, all sorts of nasty-nasty plants that strip skin off of men-things, but not bother scales. Only way for Elf-men to get in was special stonework passage. Dip down deep beneath very poison brush-field. Elf-men think they clever, hire adventurers to hurt Great Green. Built trap. Clever-clever. Tap pockets of bad-air deep-down. Bad air not *bad*, not poison, just not have life-breathe in it. Constant danger to miners. When men-things entered tunnel, trap sprung. Drop heavy stone doors from ceiling, locking them in, and tunnel-pipe opened. Men thing laughed, thinking they safe. Think they just wait. They try open, but doors only open with heavyheavy pulleys and gears on tribe side. So they wait, thinking we come to take them prisoner. And they wait. Eventually they realize air getting bad. They pound on doors, try to open, but doors heavy. Tribe waits until hourglass runs out twice, then opens doors. Men-things dead. No breathe-air, no life. Tribe resets doors and takes men-things to Great Green. Great Green very happy that men-things dead without damaging meat! Great Green say we clever-clever! Even give headpats to trapmaster and minemaster who design trap! Much feasting tribe did that day! Same trap work many times!
>>
>>51223013
Clever, clever indeed! But needs improvements! Need make magic so trap will be not broken by a magic-men! I hate when magic-men just says "LOLNO" on their strange magic-men tongue and fucks up every. Single. Traps.
Dragons, I HATE magic-men.
>>
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>>51222359
Don't have dragon master, so can't beat head pat. Chieftain is dragonwrought, but pats would be weird. Good chief though.
Happiest moment... maybe when I make spell work right. Thought I was just a bad dragon sorcerer, took finding old dwarf book to find I'm better at wizarding.
Yes, think first Fire Breath spell working is happiest moment. Even if meal was accidentally destroyed. That was not so good.

>>51223369
>be magicbold
H-hey, magic is good! Just need good traps to fool magic is all.
>>
>>51225969
>bad dragon sorcerer
l-lewd

>Just need good traps to fool magic is all.
Or put the magic in the traps! I overheard an old human following adventurers past my master's cave saying over and over "magic must defeat magic". A really strong-looking human (maybe a monk?) seemed to listen to him, so the old one must have been powerful.
>>
>>51226464
The pun was accidental at first, but I sure as hell wasn't going to edit it out.
I try, but difficult to get the magic to go.. in the traps? Think I need more books.
Can make magic traps though! Scatter both around, hard to counter both. Illusions mostly. Fun to see halfling think he in explosion, jump away and fall into real spiky trap.
Best for magic enemies.. kind of easy to see trap and super hard to see trap. They see easy trap, think that is it and stop using magic to find other traps. Then hidden trap strikes!
Also poison. Some can magic away poison, but if not they often die quickly.
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