SS13: To Bomb, Griff, Validhunt, or to Have Fun Edition

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Links updated and serb is online.

I will continue the greentext of d20 tomorrow.

Please keep the thread alive with stories, antics, gimmick ideas, suggestions, profess your love for dead spacemen, or just meme. It's all cool, baby.

*memes*

>>51137877
i know erp is not allowed but is flirting allowed?
not that i want to or anything just asking for a friend haha

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I'll post a story to keep the thread alive. This is from Hippie.

> Start as lawyer
> Fuck
> Run up to other lawyer and we both decide to become wrestlers
> Shout RAGE CAGE at eachother a lot
> Wrestle people in the hallway who are using fucking screwdrivers little bitches
> Constantly scream YEAAAAH BROTHER
> Overhear that the Mime is in jail, we got to wrestle him
> No access
> We go yell at Angel for her maid costume who is in the cell nearby
> Wrestle the sec guard and get arrested
> Talk to Vex (other lawyer, who is a green lizard) and we decide since we're criminals, we must put out an album
> First track is ASS BLAST USA
> Get thrown out 10 minutes later without my camera, ID, or headset
> Taken forever to uncuff as we keep getting moved
> While we're uncuffing a headslug explodes from a guy who's being brought in
> Second track is "That's a lot of blood"
> Eventually waddle into Brig and my pAI lights up
> It's Jared F.O.G.L.E.
> o shit
> Get that doorjack bacon and we talk about our history as rappers while we wait for the door to get jacked off
> Vex retrieves his ass and puts it on his head
> Third track is "Ass on head"
> By the way, the pAI starts actually rapping and continues to do so throughout most of thiss
> Ask Jared for maid outfits
> He gives us looks and says "n-no"
> We finally notice there's a dead botanist in the room
> Fourth track is "Reviving shitty unrobust botanists"
> Get our shits, get some signs, and get botanist to medbay
> My sign is "OH YEEEAH BROTHER" and Vex's is "Lynch all niggers"
> ok
>Jared: YEAAAH CLONE EM THEN SMOKE SOME CRACK
>Me: Wait, drugs ain't legal
>J: Gotta get us a snack
>M: Nutritious! GOTTA GET US AN APPLE
>J: AND A LIME AND GET A PEN
>M: AND FINISH THE COLLEGE ESSAY
>J: WE GOTTA GET THAT KNOWLEDGE, BE SUCCESSFUL
cont.

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>>51138296
> Fifth track is "Getting healthy and passing college"
> Jared is now our bodyguard as per his request
> Skanderberjerg asks how got the signs, and then punches Vex
> I run after him throwing the pAI to get em
> We wrestle people and then lynch a person of african american descent
> Actually what happens is Vex tells me to go wrestle him, I chase him, he has a seizure, I take his clothes and run away
> Sixth track was something along those lines
> Go wrestle a moth in the bar after he disarms me like the little shit he is
> Angel is passed out in the bar
> Take her costume and run as she gets up
> Give it to Vex at escape, who is breaking glass with Skander
> The last track is about that
> Some assistant brings Angel to escape, she went braindead
> Jared proposes he do an encore last track, I give him the thumbs up
> He starts copy pasting the DK rap after I give him a directive to
> The three of us join in
> We do this while the round finishes by us jumping on the escape shuttle and no bombing this time around

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And to round it off, here's a much better story by Mezzo.

Probably my best story though, I was captain, and for some reason, got a hunch at roundstart, when the manifest thing mentioned possible nuke ops.

I went down to science to grab something, then went about my business.

My hunch proved to be right, and the nuke ops arrived. The HoS and HoP flanked me to protect the disk, but they had a Dark Gygax, and eventually we got split up. I ran to escape, and tried to get away, but he took me down, went into my backpack, and took a disk out.

I watched via deadchat, and he told the others he had the disk, and so they did their general fluke ops things and ran back to the shuttle or murderboned or whatever.

he made it back to the shuttle, grabbed the nuke, pulled it onto the solars. Deadchat was full of "gg gg", because the shuttle was still a good minute and a half from arriving.

He sets the bomb where he wants it, and then:

"NUKE OP has hit nuclear fission device with the technology disk (nuclear authentication)"
"NUKE OP has hit nuclear fission device with the technology disk (nuclear authentication)"
"NUKE OP has hit nuclear fission device with the technology disk (nuclear authentication)"
A pause from the Nuke Op, then, "IT'S THE WRONG DISK"

The nuke team flipped out as the shuttle arrived and the surviving heads managed to early launch it, and the nuke op who had grabbed the disk threw it into space and screamed "DAMN YOU, CAPTAIN!"

Fortunately, the crew had brought my body, with the ACTUAL nuke disk on board, so the crew got a Major Victory.

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Also, let's have a round 7 PM EST tomorrow. We haven't had one in a few days.

who makes all this ss13 art?

>>51138456
There's a guy called "spessmenart" on tumblr that posts on r/ss13, which is where I get art.

Some of this stuff is from drawfags and taken from other anons reposting it. I only have this one semi-OC.

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>>51138497
Forgot pic, fuck.

Can we make the nuke both spawn on the station and then rideable?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snTaSJk0n_Y

I'm going to try to get some
>friends
to try out SS13 here, wish me luck spacemans.

HILARIOUS BUG

Toasting a sandwich in the mircrowave causes it to produce activated charcoal, making it impossible to eat.

Also Cyborg problems

>service borg beer cans can be put into vending machines, easily can break the module
>service borg serving trays can pick up items from across the room, cannot place them on tables
>service borgs cannot use the lighter they are provided with
>cyborgs can buckle themselves into chairs, but cannot unbuckle

oh ss13
This game fills me with depression. Never at first. At first I feel happy. I do my job, wave at co-workers, feel fulfilled.
After a few rounds, the existential dread sets in and I'm reminded that I'm as alone in-game as I am irl.
I need some eyebleach

>>51139765
I'll play with you tomorrow anon.

Also can the RD still be a traitor?

>>51139816
I don't know if you'd actually play. I thank you for the thought. What's a good server now? I was on Para, but I've heard things.

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>>51140069

Ritual Midnight Bump

What do you anons think the purpose of botany is?

>>51138497
>go to spessmenart
>see furry art
nope.jpg

>>51140574
Food, drugs, and the hidden power to mass produce all kinds of rare materials.

>>51140574
Death nettles and rainbow weed

>>51140069
Come around here when we actually put the pop together for a full round.

>>51140593
Huh, well THAT doesn't get posted to r/ss13.

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FireIce2k8 updated:
>Minor animation for shower mist so that it isn't completely static.

PrPleGoo updated:
>Medibots will no longer disapear when they inject you.
>Medibots will now inject you with hemoglobin stimulant when you have low blood.
>Medibots will now inject you with antisprin when you have wounds.
>Medibots will now inject you with bicaridine when you have mangle.
>Toilets are now chairs.
>Changed the toilet paths on ministation to the new path.
>Teleporter terminals now have their ID in the name.
>Fixed an issue where IVs would not update their icon when you remove the motor.
>You can now swallow items by targeting your mouth.
>You can now clickdrag yourself onto a toilet you are buckled on to poop out items you swallowed earlier.
>Changed the description of antisprin.

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>>51138362
This is why you always check the goddamn pointer to make sure you've got the right disc.

>>51145884
>Toilets are now chairs.
>you can now cuff people to toilets
erp when?

>>51145884
GOO IN LOO

>>51145884
I better damn well be able to suicide by swallowing glass shards or live batteries.

Can we surgically remove swallowed items?

>>51145884
What happens to swallowed items when the body is put through the gibber?

>>51149173
>I better damn well be able to suicide by swallowing glass shards or live batteries.
Nope, didn't think of anything like this.
>Can we surgically remove swallowed items?
When you remove the stomach you can attack it with a hemostat or wirecutters to extract items from it.
>>51149212
Right now the items get deleted. I'm going to make it so it lands on the floor with the meat instead.

>>51149452
>Nope, didn't think of anything like this.
But... the battery decrips explicitly say not to. And now we can!

>>51149452
it will be fun when I accidentally hit myself with something and had the mouth selected
now instead of reporting to medbay for self inflicted bumps and bruises ill just kill myself instead of having to admit I accidentally swallowed my wrench

>>51149452
Does vomiting have a chance to expell the items?

I hope there isn't a size limit on items. Inducing vomiting and then throwing up an obrez and a box of nugget food would be hilarious.

Do swallowed items add to inventory weight?

>>51149643
>it will be fun when I accidentally hit myself with something and had the mouth selected
There's a do_after based on w_class.
>now instead of reporting to medbay for self inflicted bumps and bruises ill just kill myself instead of having to admit I accidentally swallowed my wrench
Just go to the toilet and poop it out.
>>51149518
>But... the battery decrips explicitly say not to
Currently making them deal damage to you.
>>51149673
>Does vomiting have a chance to expell the items?
No, vomiting is a spaghetti thing.
>I hope there isn't a size limit on items. Inducing vomiting and then throwing up an obrez and a box of nugget food would be hilarious.
There isn't but your stomach size might be too small to hold some items.

>>51149741
->>51139552
->>51139612

>>51149741
oh nevermind it will be boring then

>>51140593
it's primarily requests from /tg/station players, what do you expect

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I'm going to hop on, let's get a round going today.

>put oxygen tank on back since surgery has nitrogen in it
>it's an anesthetic tank
rip

also get on niggers, we have 5. also where the fuck is everyone we had 60 posters last thread

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from /vg/ a little while back

First time guy here; some people suggest playing as the Assistant for a first time player to learn the ropes of the game and whatnot while some other people have told me to never touch the Assistant for various reasons. What do you guys think a first time player should play as to learn the game?

>>51154908
Bartender, Chef, Janitor or Cargo Technician are good for first-timers. Personally, I recommend the Janitor.

>>51154933
What about Librarian, is that good for a first timer?

>>51155343
Yeah, why not. Pretty much any civilian job (with the exception of HoP) is okay for a newcomer.

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>spawn as Irvan
>just HoP on
>gear up to fix arrivals lights
>do so
>hobo joins
>I fuck around in chem remembering recipes
>Hobo proceeds to break into everywhere and steal everything not bolted down
>throw a thermite grenade in the den and apply welding tool to all the walls
>He slips on oil as I run away and yells YOU FUCK
>I almost got blinded so I go to science to ask for a welding gas mask
>guy just stands there, not braindead
>I start to wrench the table when he becomes sentient, attacks me with the table, and suicides
>Heal him up dexalin, he goes braindead
>okay
>Go get the mask and get to welding again
>Autolathe is gone, and while I'm making a new one in medbay I hear that Josiah has been capture by the hobo
>Hobo demands my brain
>I make a polytrinic acid smoke grenade and another thermite and head over to negotiate
>I talk to him and then he walks towards me with a stunprod out, and then we do an odd dance where he has a gun out
>I slip him, cuff, and drop the grenade while I'm running away
>Awkwardly uncuff josiah, take the hobo's body, and write "HOMELESS GO HOME" with crayon
>Go to harvest his organs when I keep falling asleep in the surgery room
>Put an oxygen tank on my back... and it's an anesthetic tank
>I ghost and cry in my chair
>I respawn like 15 minutes later as Zachary May and I want to just make a comfy ba- YOU ARE THE CHANGLING
>Oh yeah I forgot I wanted to learn how to be a good traitor
>Go to bar, put out a few drinks, gear up with a few tools, and start work on bluespace tomatoes
>not sure how to be a fun traitor, figure this'll be better than anything else I can think up on the spot
>SPIDERS
>Eventually I see half dead trisha and a critted clown go to medbay
>She's my target
>I follow her into CMO office and throw her repeatedly into the grille
>Take them awkwardly with now all access to morgue and give them the SUCC
>Trisha wakes up and says that he is Josiah and is a fellow ling
cont

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>>51155959
>No mercy for dissenters of the LingDom
>Take that all access, get up from the armory after encountering warp 10 spacelag, and call the shuttle
>Have a shoot out with 3 people in front of dorm, and kill Josiah
>Strip, throw into perma naked, and close it
>Space lag into oblivion, change from trenchcoat to ablative since they only seem to have eguns
>Biomass is in way of arrivals, go get the slime core objective quickly with 2 minutes left
>Go to shuttle, biomass everywhere and the doors are hacked
>Shoot out the grilles and clip them
>Shoot guy in medbay with barely any health left with a laser
>Get him the SUCC, kill the laser carp in the bridge, and throw out Trisha
>Throw out my bag and other traitor shit as though I'm entering Centcomm as a poor defenceless human

I failed because technically the person has to be dead which I didn't know about, and I threw out the slime core so RIP

I need to learn how to FUN traitor more, but it might take awhile.

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>conrad joins
>autoloom is added
>the machine in the game I have the most love and hate for
>lee and slare kinda fuck off I dunno
>april 1st 2015
>no fighting as a nonantag
>science became a ranch
>corgis and cats are tajarans and werewolves
>warning about running in the hallways
>i don't know if bay is still shit but twas a good laugh
>cats can 2 shot spacemen when adminbus tons of mouse happen
>corgis become STRONK and can be breed for maximum health
>activated almonds and charcoal are added
>also a very imporant update
>gordon proposes to make actual AI for simple mobs
>this never happens
>ammolathe finally gets its own sprite
>computer sprites finally get reverted from the shitty ones veyveyr made
>lots of spriting happen
>we get ded serb'd and people are hoping for the power of SUMMER to save us
>hahaha no
>cuck goes into full overdrive and is the baddest of memes
>I get the bomb testing suit and name myself THE WALL
>Gordon proceeds to code in / port THE WALL in and it's goddamn OP but amazing
>Commie and Old Glory flags are in, Gordon and Emiko hold america and commie gun shops but slare runs them out of business with stealing the armory
>space lube gets nerfed but not by removing the rest of its power besides surprise, but removing the surprise factor
>eh
>April 22nd 2015, our first anniversary
>Admins put up the original build, and no one really played that day
>I got pretty sad, and kk said it was dumb
>I liked the sentiment, wish people joined to play
>slare finally gets perma banned
>a lot of people observe, and the chaos sort of dies down
>TRAITORS, PLEASE IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MURDERBONE, BUT FUCKING SABOTAGE
>Anyways...
>janitor's bag is a toolbelt but better
>science finally gets a fucking maint access door
>the first round its implemented a reinforced wall is under it because niggers were uppity about xenobio having them or something
>lee stops polyaciding everyone because he gets permabanned like three times

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I had fun today, let's do another round tomorrow.

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1700-1800s uniforms are in the works boys
russia and coldmeme gaurds soon aswell

>>51156401
hey man I made badly coded greytide AI
all it does right now is look for guns and ammo and shove them into their bags

>>51156984
Oh, never knew any of it got finished. You talked about it and we all got excited and then we stopped talking about it.

Ruskies throwing ammo to each other when? Tactical rolls when?

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>>51157006
never because getting them to manage something as complicated as their own inventory fucked me over as well as feature creep

Dear Lord why has this game not been implemented on a real framework yet.

I cannot stand having to grapple with literally the worst controls in gaming.

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>>51157119
as shit as it is the simplicity of adding code makes it easy to add content and breathe life into the game

like some never ending cpr

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Bumping the thread

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One more to be safe

I still want botany ideas, I have about 6 but that's about it.

>>51158369
A mutated variety of corn that is that real colorful mosaic pattern with its kernels. Dunno what would be its secret power or ingredient though, besides sprinkles.

>>51140574
Bicardine, Plasticide, that one rare medicine that chemists can't make, and Killer Tomatoes.

>>51159037
>Plasticide
???

>one rare chemical
Carpotoxin to make into Rezadone, wasn't it?

Is viro good yet?

>when you are just a simple man trying to be on a spacestation but it gets attacked by carp so you hold out in cargo and ship their dead bodies back to centcom to get better guns so you can survive more carp and ship their bodies to centcom to get better guns so you can survive more carp attacks so you can ship ther bodies back to centcom to get better guns so you can survive more carp attacks and then take a shuttle ride to centcom
>when one of the crewmembers was infected with spacecarp eggs and exploded into 20 mechacarp
i hope you had a good round spessmen and if you tell anyone about our little secret your parents will blame you and you will get in trouble so dont do it

>>51158369
Lifenettle.
Heals you when you are hit, amount of healing depending on its potency. The leaf is destroyed after one hit.

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>>51158847
I like this one, how do people get sprinkles normally?

>>51162374
What about a nettle that's a lot more effective against stuff like carp and such for Dorf? I don't know the fluff, but there'd be the choice of the PVP (that feels disgusting to type for ss13) nettle, and now a PVE nettle.

Thoughts?

>>51162939
nah everyone knows guns are most effective against carp
carp have 40 hp so most ballistic weapons kill them in one hit and lasers can double tap them, and any sufficiently robust melee weapon may be able to last you if you have armor or a shield though we neglected to make fortifications during the attacks

the point being a botany item specifically for ai mobs would be pretty specialized and would end up not being effective enough to warrant mutating or overpowered

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>>51163103
Okay how about a nettle that acts like a welding tool and does do damage, but it's less and is burn damage. The Building Nettle.

>>51163160
also specialized as fuck since you'd just use a welding tool

maybe plants that are capable of making raw materials like a mutation of tower caps that make metal or some shit I don't know

>>51163185
Yeah I do need to make a silver plant.

>>51163212
Just make a money tree or something along those lines.

>>51139612
>service borgs cannot use the lighter they are provided with
They actually don't need to "light" it before using it. Just tested this, attacking cigarettes will light them.
Even attacking people in the mouth with it will light their cig.

Patched up the serb before the thursday restart:
>Gibbing people with the gibber will now also expel any stomach contents they may have had (barring reagents).
>Silicons can no longer put reagent_containers into vending machines.
>Trays can no longer remotely teleport items onto them.
>Trays will now dump everything they carry on a table when used on a table.
>Borgs can no longer buckle anyone (including themselves) to chairs.
>Toasted sandwiches will no longer get carbon.
>Empty reagent_containers will no longer throw run times when used on autolathes.
>Powercells that are inside stomachs will damage the stomach and burn the stomach's owner.

>>51158369
Mutated potatoe that can be used as a battery?

>>51163648
already is one
>>51165415
using cable on potatoe already makes potatoe battery

>>51162939
>I like this one, how do people get sprinkles normally?
You need to make space drugs, first.
Then space drugs catalyze iron into confetti.
Then you blend confetti with nutriment to make sprinkles.

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>>51164600

SAFETY BUMP

Has anyone had a successful hostage situation? An unsuccessful one?

How do you come up with gimmicks? What are some no-nos?

>>51171955
>drag someone into maintenance
>keep shouting "i have a gun"
>have to pepperspray them over and over
>buckle them to a chair
>start asking questions
>they unbuckle and start punching me
>shoot them twice
never again

>>51172324
The trick I think is to take an NPC like Ian as hostage.

>>51171955
>start as engineer, but no one is on for ~2 hours
>decide to get the captain's uniform and ID because why not
>learn RnD from Ray Parker Jr. (thanks again btw)
>Hobo Goo and Irvan get on, Goo starts messing up the station
>Walking through arrivals maintenance trying to fix the power that Goo messed up
>Slip on space lube, Hobo Goo kidnaps me, accuses me of trying to attack him in his own damn home
>Starts trying to negotiate with Irvan for the "captain's" release
>Demands Irvan's brain and he agrees
>Hobo Goo pulls a gun on Irvan and gets shot down
>Irvan releases me, all is well until a reincarnation of Irvan murders me with bluespace tomatoes at the end of the round

HOMELESS GO HOME

>>51171994
pick a stereotype
try to act it out
avoid unfun stereotypes like "mass murderer"

>>51154908
Do not play on this server if you want to learn SS13.

>>51173589
Why?

Be advised I will be rebooting Doombot within 1 hour because Windows Updates.

I've also reworked the automated reboot/startup procedure so it's less retarded.

How do you get higher definition pictures out of the dmi files?

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>>51173716
if you mean how to get a 32x32 sprite in a not fucked up format save it as a .png and if you're shooping it on something never let whatever program you're using try to smooth it out

if you're trying to make a sprite bigger than 32x32 in a .dmi file, each .dmi file will only allow sprites of a single size, i.e you can't put 32x32 sprites into a .dmi with a setting for 64x64, it will only accept sprites of 64x64 size. there's a option in the top right of the .dmi file to change the file's image size
>>51173589
excellent use of supporting evidence

>>51173674
Doombot has been updated and rebooted.

For those interested, changes to the automatic reboot are below.

>Reboot takes place every Wednesday at 0700, GMT-6
>5min after kernel load, startup script runs
>script starts the controller for the HTTP and SQL servers, waits for them to fully initialize
>script starts the BYOND pager, gives it 10 sec to load
>script starts DreamDaemon, loading up the default d20 server

Elapsed time from boot: 7 min give or take because DreamDaemon takes a bit to load the server.

Once I get the replacement server, I plan on further reducing our downtime with CPU/RAM/SSD upgrades.

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>>51174122
but will it increase autism by allowing the master controller to leak more memory on shenanigans before crashing???

>>51174165
Maybe? I might be able to trick DreamDaemon into allocating way more RAM than it has any right to. I mean, it does already, but I bet I can increase the number and fuel autism with technoautism.

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Need some ideas for the background

>>51174477
background alternates between FIRE, biomass, ayyliums, and greytide

are we doing more dorf autism this weekend?

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>>51174655

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Friday night tomorrow, we've been having lowpop this week. Where's everyone been? We should gauge how many people want dorf and how many want mini so we don't get 3 people on dorf.

I'm personally in favor of dorf in so far we have like 7 people at least wanting to join.

Here's a strawpoll:

http://www.strawpoll.me/12094899

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>>51175784
can't play dorf this weekend work all weekend
so the dorf station is doomed to poor logistics and destruction

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>>51176641
Damn shame, I will fulfill the legacy of Ray Parker Jr.

Seriously though, where has everyone been? We had a good 17 pop round last week, and now it's dead-zone ova' here.

How hard is it for someone who has never played before to get good enough to start having fun?

>>51177258
Classses start up soon for me, just have been busy preparing for those.

So I'm not caught up on medical, how does one produce more blood?

>>51177858
Time, and hemoglobin stimulant.

>>51178359
Okay, is there a known mixture to make hemoglobin stimulant?

>>51178374
What makes up blood?
Water
Iron
Salt
Sugar

How do you unbuckle from a toilet? clicking on it only raises/lowers the lid.

>>51179453
Resist?

http://www.strawpoll.me/12094899
http://www.strawpoll.me/12094899
http://www.strawpoll.me/12094899

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>>51178374
>>51177450
It depends on the players around you. New people are often visibly shy and are too focused on proper hand switching to notice what's going on around them.
>>51179453
Huh I thought I made a special case for that, fix incoming.
>>51181799
>5 votes for "maybe dorf"
>1 vote for "dorf no matter what"
Should I go prep dorf? What time do you guys want to start dorfing if it does happen?
This is a bad poll.

Does D20 have a wiki anywhere? When's the time the server's most active?

>>51182171
That info is in the misc links. Wiki is ded and we're trying to get it back up, and 7 PM EST.

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>>51182126
I don't speak for the trees, but 5 PM EST works for me, but I'm ok with 4 PM EST to let euronerds get on.

>>51181799
>>51182538
Okay so dorf got 7 votes.
http://www.strawpoll.me/12097115
Vote for the time.

>>51172324
6-7 years ago. Spent 4 hours saving the station as captain. Kept trying to call shuttle but some fart knocker would recall it back. May have been admin.

Had my right hand crew, HoS was dead after aliums attack, Queen was dead after Scientist bro dropped bomb in her nest, we were mopping up stragglers and dealing with goo incursion at same time when assistant joins.

Welcome her into crew and give her a medkit and baton for when things get hairy.

Fight a few more running skirmishes against aliens, w/o casualties on either side.

Walk to assistant for some healing, make small talk.

I'm glad we had no more traitors. I fear we would have already fallen were that the case.

Well captain... Anyone could be a traitor. Even you, even me.

Nonsense, you've saved our lives a dozen times now!

About that...

"Lady Assistant stabs you in the face with a pen"

Wha? Trea- "unconscious"

I wake up in engineering strapped to a chair. A little while later my second, the HoS also arrives bleeding on the floor and being dragged. Gets set up in the other chair, facing left and immediately in front of me. She treats his wounds tells us to sit tight and comes back a while later with the lady scientist who made all the low yield bombs we had relied on.

Slaps her in the seat and handcuffs her.

Gives us a 5 minute monologue about how she has already won.

As captain I tell her she'll never get away with this! Centcomm will stop her!

The lady scientist jumps in and tells her that if she wanted to die to some idiots hands she would have stayed in the lab.

Lady scientist bro gets beaten to death with a wrench slowly. Screaming at traitor to stop, doesn't.

Puffing a little, traitor drops bloody wrench in front of me.

Everyone else is dead. Aliums overrunning the ship. Goo has eaten other half. Shuttle is unreachable now.

She laughs, than hits the engineering... Gun? Laser emitter bolted to the ground a few squares from us. We burn. Round is lost.

>>51183993
Oh yeah, name was Alpharius Omegon.

>>51183993
HoP arrived after I did. Derp.

>>51158369
sugarcanes with the special property that they also pack a ridiculous amount of caffeine and maybe amphetamine?

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There's a round ending now. When it ends the server will go off-line for a moment then reboot with dorf.

>>51189173

Feels good to end the round so dorf can start.

>>51189173
Sadness.

>>51189800
Sadness?

>>51189916
I am being whisked away on business for some hours, just as dorf is beginning.

>>51137853
Come on guys, you can totally griff and have fun at the same time.
You just need a good soundtrack in the background.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82VtBxeJH3I

Dorf is up fags, we're doing great.

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The best feeling as HoP is giving someone a job / tasks and they fall in love with it.

Nice job so far janitor

12 people on dorf.

>>51158369
coconuts. peanuts. garlic. faggot tree. ALMONDS

>>51158369
A Venus Pest Trap that eats small things (like rodents, bugs, and the hands/feet of small children stupid enough to get close to a plant with teeth).

Pretty good dorf thus far boys. Having no RnD definitely makes the experience different.

How is Dorf? Never played it before

>>51194974
We're doing a 3 man run to get botany in the middle of a carp invasion. Shit gets intense.

>>51194974
3 people who know how to build attempt to build things
Everyone else runs off and dies in the wast or goes braindead twenty minutes in
Carp invade and kill everyone regardless of attempts to stop them
Server stays unnacessible for 8 hours due to carp infestation

Dorf was a mistake.

>>51195193
Sweet, going to join now wish me luck, already played on different servers so I know the controls at least.

post yfw carp invasion

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>>51196781

>>51196781
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIflOVYEBu0

The problem with late join dorf is I always feel like I'm getting in people's way.

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We easy mode now boys

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>>51196781
the next hurdle for fucking over dorf players is making turrets consume proper amounts of energy (I.E use almost 1000 powercell charge per shot, approximately 200,000 watts from a PACMAN) and making carp actually attack turrets

dorf is for nerds

>>51200139
gordon no pls

Can we keep this round going until Monday? We're doing pretty well.

>>51198639
>>51201192
Sounds like a personal issue boys

>>51137877
Stolen from tg

>>51204782
but this is tg anon

science is up, 1000 supply points, turrets, expanded rooms, dorf is going good lads.

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Proper disposal methods

Just for reference, how many people are playing per round and how long is each round on /tg/ on average?

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If you were dead you're probably alive now.

I want to touch Lee's Hair.

>>51207201
on actual /tg/ player count is too high for longer rounds so they're usually 30 minutes or an hour but I don't actually play there
they probably get anywhere from 40-60+ players

If a Son of a Shepherd arrived on the station, what would you do to prepare against his wrath?

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>>51213243
bombs

>>51213816
>1062 regular carp
>134 las carp
>141 mutant carp

>>51138296

I got one from about 8 months ago

>Start playing as a syndicate mime
>Mission was to assassinate a scientist
>Begin round by observing his routes, begin to lay framework for plan
>Start drawing graffiti and leaving notes that said guy was evil and that I had seen him kill a man(which I had, hobo had requested death)
>Then tried to kill him (with a pocket crowbar. I know I know was still fresh to SS13)
>Failed miserably, got knocked out, handcuffed, and put in the species holding cell aka solitary in R&D
>Manage to kill self by hitting self
>Start leaving ghostly graffiti implicating said scientist
>Sec starts to get suspicious(actually really good sec player, kinda felt bad playing im like that)
>watch events start to unfold, sec guy sneaks from outside to check confinement area after scientist admits to locking me up(they did the whole shebang forensics , interrogation etc.)
>finds corpse drags it outside and around to cloning bay(almost lost my body a couple of times in space)
>reenter body as clone, become janitor, bide time
>some spooky AI/cyborg stuff goes down, but spend time playin music.
>bonkers cyborg gave me a heartattack but left me alone for some reason, just kept playing(the show must go on)
>eventually see chance to grab captain armor
>everyone treats me like captain even though I dont say a word(id was still a different assumed id sec gave me for disguise so speaking would give it away)
>eventually station is no longer salvageable, shuttle gets called.
>last chance, begin prepping
>still in role as mime,(havent broken role once) grab paper pen
>write note stating said scientist was actually evil murderer prolly syndi
>board shuttle, pass note to friendly hobo.(mind im still in captains armor)
>Shuttle starts, target was not buckled in, unbuckle and start swinging with pocket crowbar yet again.
>Actually manage to do some decent damage but still get downed as scientist had las pistol
>Friendly hobo had shotgun, laid waste to im

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>>51215702

>All hell breaks loose, im bleeding out on deck
>Think this is the end and I lost, just then shuttle docks
>Still alive and eck out win, with no syndi items bought and still not breaking role

Mfw I mastermimed them all.

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>>51215724

Finally found the posting, man that game was even older than I thought. Over a year ago. Secs side of the story here.

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>>51216123

>be on a family trip
>miss dorf

FUCK

>>51217189
but anon dorf is still up

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>>51214113
>deleting the carnage

>>51217313
b-but i only get home in about 10 hours

When do we want to revert to mini?

>>51217570
has anyone made screenshots of the slaughter outside the dorf fortress?

Miles of nothing but dead aliens, carps, filets and blood.

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Mini is back up.

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When do we want to play today? I'm fine for any time to be honest, but let's try to get people all joining at the same time.

>>51222053
Later.

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Not SS13 general but fuck you
>Start as detective on bagil because d20 is fukken ded
>Start to narrate out loud over the radio as there's Centcomm declares there's no traitors
>As I leave the AI locks me in my office
>I contemplate these and return to narrating in my chair
>He unbolts and says emergency in captain's office, but I third person tell it to fuck off
>I walk around narrating as I find a xeno poster
>The clown knows what to do and lubes me up
>He tries to prove that I'm a pervert as I do shit like say over radio "I told the clown that I liked vanilla porn as I thought to myself about the xeno in that goddamn beautiful poster"
>Eventually he vapes so hard I end up in a locker and he locks it with his PDA
>He gets it welded as I fail at drinking booze, realize how smoking in a cabinet would be a horrible idea, and why I have so many alternative coats
>Eventually the clown get lasered to death by shitcuridy and I walk out
>I rub my eyes at the flush of sunlight as I'm immediately tazed
>I get up before cuffs and leg it while narrating fast
>I shoot him 3 times as he keeps missing tasers and run into a different maint
>I get in a locker and consider my conflicting locker and xeno fetishes
>I head to the bar when I get tazed like 20 minutes later without him or anyone else saying anything over sec comms
>He brings me to the brig and nobody knows what I did wrong
>Apparently the AI now has a law that narrating to oneself is harmful, and the captain put that bounty on my head
>The sec officer takes my gun as I say if he takes it, I will kill him
>He takes it
>Kelthuzad the warden uncuffs me, I baton the officer, table him, grab my gun and go
>I shoot the officer as he follows me missing more tasers
>I fuck around still narrating when in front of science I get into a shoot out with another officer
>12 bullets later, he's in crit
>I drag him into maint, get hud glasses and realize I'm wanted
cont.

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>>51224241
>I get the warden to take off my wanted status
>This does not prevent Eric from trying to tase me
>I shoot him into crit as he tries to taser me
>A doc grabs him and I shoot him in medbay, and drag the sec officer to maint
>I explain what's happened and everyone just is dealing with the xeno outbreak that may've been causing by my waifu shitposting
>Go suicide in a pod as the shuttle leaves
>No traitors

Detective is mechanically designed to be a loose cannon to be honest.

I threw up like 4 times that round.

It was a good round.

>>51224279
Also I should clarify they wanted me permabrigged, so I'd say that going off the grid and killing anyone that tries to bring you into the gulag is a good enough escalation.

Anyone got the image of the heads playing DnD and a guy runs in asking them to deal with the cultists?

Anyone up for a round?

>>51228094
soon

>>51228326
Hopefully my BYOND works, getting an error where I see nothing in chat.

>>51224241
Ey I'm that engi borg. My roboticist creator had the voice of an Alien. Was super spooky.

D20 still have the nursedroid form for mediborgs? That was a good form. Every server should have waifubots.

>>51229004
Was the AI actually mad over computer speak or was he just bullying me?

>>51228968
ye

>>51228968
Jukebox when

>>51229178
>>51229422
guys that proposition never happened shhhh

I have no idea how to pirate and this is technically illegal so I'm not going to risk a 5 million dollar fine for giving anons space music

It would be cool to have an admin verb for playing this music though.

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>Want HRP
>not sure if autistic enough for it

On the one hand, I do actually like roleplaying.

On the other, goddamn HRP servers are slow.

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>>51230414
It's actually not all that bad to roleplay on low-mid RP servers, makes a nice mix. I honestly think d20 had a golden age in May to July 2014 because we had both sides of the spectrum and the polarization of servers is what makes for a less interesting experience.

Maybe I'm alone on this though.

>>51230710
You're not wrong. HRP in a low administration environment is god tier, but it's a fragile situation, especially when the roleplayers aren't as robust (like most of us were then)

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>>51228094
The time is now.

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>>51230755
I don't think it's only lessening the confines for a HRP to think of a response that makes HRP so nice for stories. I think it's the way that low RP players both make action so well while the HRP crowd makes great reactions to it, and then the low RP crowd can actually jump on the bandwagon and become MRP. It's hard to describe but I think that if there's nothing happening, HRP is just sitting in a bar, but if there's no RP, then SS13 is a shitty COD clone with shitty controls.

I think another part is that the population needs to be high enough that everyone on the crew has an interaction with one another so people aren't being left out or feel excluded, but not so low that again no escalation can occur without fear of removing 1/4th of the playerbase of a round.

I'm personally trying to be funny and enter every round with a gimmick, but I'm not a very creative or funny person but I encourage all of you to try. Lee is good, or at least I imagine him to be, good at making responses that are unusual and are thus funny, and people can roll with it.

>>51229119
I didn't hear a thing about your harmful monologing, but I was only converted into a borg halfway through the round cause I joined into a science team that was full up.

Personally I think it sounds a lot more like a prank the Captain or HoS pulled, but Kel is always sort of a manic depressive when he ends up as Security.

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Speaking of players, 6 on.

Serber ded?

If so please recompile

>open astv up because he swallowed his lunch box rather than eat it
>remove his stomach
>start removing contents
>end up removing the same zippo lighter a dozen times
>cannot access any of the other items
>pass out because his anathesia tank leaked somehow, and I inhaled some despite internals

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>>51231670
SPAGHOOTS

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE PLASMA RABBITS

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( ._.)

9 people

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>>51232039
The tide is high tonight

>this is alive
I swear you fuckers died, is lonelee still a faggot who erps with the admin cabal? Has freeman appeased his inner anger? Is emiko still autism?

>>51232379
Isn't erp against the rules?

>>51232417
Not when you pay astv 39.95 a month

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>>51232424
Just fucking legalize it then. No point in not allowing it if you're gonna be a jew about it.

>>51232440
thats not good business sense.
You can access payed good via putting a bag of holding inside a bag of holding though

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>>51232527
Sweet, so I just have to do this and... OH GOD PLEASE NOT LORD SINGULOTH!

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>>51232791
You rang?

Aight, I'mma try to greentext this shit It's my first time actually doing it, be gentle
>Wanna be Cargo tech kid
>Spawn as Tech, get auto-aged
>Fuck dat shit
>Suicide, respawn as kid assistant
>YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>Whatevs, go reclaim my stuff Shuuuuuuuuuuuush It's k
>Start doing cargo stuff
>Wait
>RABBIT CRATE
>Order dat shit
>It only comes with one
>Pray for a mate for it
>Space gods deliver, demand repayment
>I gather a live cat, a washed corgi meat, and a bunch of splatted mice
>Ritually slaughter the cat
>Gods accept my sacrifice

>In the time spent, rabbits began breeding like, well, rabbits
>Get idea to prank barkeep by dumping a shitton of rabbits in his bar
>Also a goat, but the goat flipped out on Gideon's mech and he murdalized it
>As I'm leaving, notice plasma damage (This will be important later)
>Bring trash can of rabbits to bar
>Unfunny clown opens it, spoils surprise
>Unfunny clown continues to be unfunny, assaults a child for little to no reason

>>51233138 (continued)
Timeskip because nothing really interesting happens for a while, also was blacked out for that time
>Annoying clown was lynched
>But a new problem has arisen
>PLASMA RABBITS
>Nearly die just being near it
>Go and repent for whatever sins I must have done to bring this upon me
>Decide to finally get to work on my objective: steal facehugger
>bust down like 4 rwalls to get into captain's room
>THE GOLDEN TICKET HAS ALREADY BEEN JACKED
>Get mad about this
>Just as I was about to get to work on my 5th rwall
>EXPLOSION
>EXPLOSION
>LORD SINGULOTH HAS ARRIVED
>Die like a dumb idiot because of space exposure

And thus ends the tale of how I actually fucked over the station for once

>>51233143
so
much
rabbit meat

>>51231670
>>51231893
Both fixed, thanks for the report.

Early bump

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Ghetto Changelog for Botany:
*Trays are fixed
*Blood oranges are in, they have hemoglobin stimulant
*Watermelon helmets are craftable with a screwdriver

So for coconuts, what if they could be screwdrivered to give two containers that scaled with potency and contained milk in them? Also using a crayon on the coconut would make it act like pAI but it can only whisper to you and nothing else because it's a fucking possessed coconut. I think they would be a lime mutagent.

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>>51236492
Also for upgraded botany trays, what if they had two new options: kill the plant immediately and it'll compost to the tray, and a Stasis mode that the plant won't age in so the botanist can fuck off and not have all the plants die.

So are all the "reboots" of SS13 officially dead now?

I was hoping at least one remake would be successful.

>>51237655
Its hard to reach the level of autism that ss13 has gained, just remaking the atmo system is fucking impossible

>>51237655
The problem of "reboots" is that they aren't corporate-backed. They don't have a good professional dev team with actual financial backing and project overseer.
So they will never be good or successful.

dead server desu

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>>51239269
the problem with them is they feature creep a game with already incredible depth

it doesn't help when the games are more complex and content is harder to make, so they burn out

>>51236492
>screwdrivered
why would I not split my coconut with that hatchet I have in my pocket

Also, making players into shitty coconuts would be bad, but I'd be pretty intrigued if the haunted coconut switched back and forth between offering genuine gameplay advice, and sowing paranoia about everyone else aboard.

>>51244089
players can opt in/out of PAI anytime and can wipe themselves if they want, I don't see any reason its bad as long as it doesn't force people into the coconut

Can the health analyzer give the message "foreign objects detected" if someone has a cavity implant / swallowed items?

>>51244142
No, I'm planning to do cavity searches.

>>51244201
*snaps glove*

I can't wait for gordon to write the paperwork for this.

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>>51244274
at my office we just have a body scanner for that
I hear it is very funny when someone intoxicated has to get on it as it moves them through the scanner

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I did a thing that I was inspired to do after yesterday's fiasco.

>>51245978
How strong is this method? Is it fast to fill up a canister?

>>51247054
10 rabbits and 2 scrubbers set to filter plasma will give you between 25 and 50 kPa per tick if my math is right. They WILL breed and the non-plasma rabbits die almost immediately.

The babies magically mature into adults despite being dead, which is horrifying.

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>>51247088
Are you saying one could make this setup and hook it up to the distro for maximum death

>>51247120
I was thinking fuel the TEG with shenanigans and rabbits but if you're a tator and want to be the rabbit god of death, go for it.

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YES GOOD

>>51248596
Is this the new face of dwarven power generation?

>>51249202
>lmao 2cat

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>>51249323

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>>51249468

Are there any community problems we should be addressing?

I keep worrying about playercount, avoiding meta and metafriending, and such. Are we faggots?

>>51251224
ree metafriend is okay as long as you aren't niggers about it, knowing a guys character name and shitposting in bar together a fine, don't reveal you're a traitor to him and have him help you like a nig reee

Viro not shit when?

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Recently I was playing on /tg/ Station and I was just a Grey. Now the round started and I along with other assistants greytide into the tool storage and raided it for the glorious loot. Pretty normal right?

However just as quick as they come, some Grey marches in, grabs one guy and murders him so fast none of us have time to react. (Not like we would...) But he had no weapon! He just grabbed a guy and bashed his head in into the table or something. Maybe he had a tool box? Im not really sure.

I haven't played this game enough to build great Robusting Skills yet. Plus I was convinced without being a Wizard or Nuke Op, you cannot just skill someone so quickly. Clearly I was dead wrong!

Can someone tell me how to go about how this fellow Grey might have done it? It was not even a minute into the round, so I doubt he had anything built or anything. Just his hands and maybe a tool box?

>>51256085
screwdriver, eyes.

>>51256085
i'm pretty sure greys are /vg/station's, but either way if it was some grab-related thing they probably added some dumb overpowered wrestling shit or he used a tator item

either way, you're probably better off asking them about it, not us.

>>51256099
would've come up with a more obvious message
but speaking of goddamn we need to fix blindness already. i'd do it myself but i'm ridiculously out of practice.
might just be something retarded like somebody fucked up an icon state or something though

>>51256644
>might just be something retarded like somebody fucked up an icon state or something though
No the alpha gets set to 255. Used to be some layer thing that happened but that broke in 510.

>>51256644
>playing on /tg/ or /vg/
>expecting him to notice the X gets stabbed in the eyes by Y message

>>51256694
I thought at one point you made it so people incapped couldn't see anything around them for some reason

>>51232379
admin cabal gibbing me (You)s when

>>51137912
Yup, it's all medbay can do on slow rounds

>>51256085
Tg station has a traitor item that teaches the user martial arts. Intent combos can be used to disable the target and cause massive damage.

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>>51196781

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>>51258983
I should have known lee would have been corrupted by that ai

emergency bump

bump of fucking life.

I want to dorf this friday by the way.

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>>51264528
im free this friday and will play dorf by myself if I have to

Fun fact: Deathnettles are capped at about 70 dmg regardless of potency.

>>51249719
Gold.

Okay, I waded through simple_animal make_babies to find out why rabbits shit runtime errors.

I won't bore you with the details but it's fixed and I've ensured that bunnies, cats, dogs, etc all can still breed.

A good side-effect of fixing the bunny-related runtimes is that bunny genetics is now working.


Bunny genetics work as follows:

If mom and dad bun are the same color, 5% chance for a random, non-purple bunny, otherwise the baby will be the same color as its parents. If mom and dad bun are different colors, 10% chance for random color excluding purple. If the baby passes the 10% chance for random, there's a further 15% chance of a purple bun. If the baby doesn't pass the 10% chance, it's the same color as mom bun.

This is just me making the existing bunny genetics work, I fully intend to rework the probabilities and if/then statements because AAAAAAAA

Additionally, since plasma bunnies will rapidly make an area inhospitable to non-plasma bunnies, you need to isolate a breeding pair of plasma buns or you're going to experience the bunny holocaust.

Did I accidentally start a rabbity renaissance for the server?

I'll take what I can get

>>51267198
You revealed a bug, at least.

>>51266952
Good work ASTV

inb4 it crashes dorf

>>51266952
plasma bunnies probably shouldn't occur normally, to be honest

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>>51267308

>tfw still no idea what to do about anamolys and disposals spewing shit out of them
One day I'll understand how these things work

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>>51267519
i'm talking 'you have to actively mutate them with mutagen and shit, or maybe just leaving nuclear materials around' rather than 'let's have this shit spew plasma at complete random'

>>51257225
i am an admin now and of course i still erp with all the admins :^)

>>51267902
>someone gave lone lee admin status
W H O

>>51267941
Now im guna show those bullies
im gunna make columbine look like a fucking joke
ok no more (you)s

>>51268233
REEEEEEE GIB (You)s OR WILL META GRIFF
WILL PUT WAIFU THROUGH GIBBER
WILL TRIP IN HALLWAY AND LAUGH AT YOU
REEEE STUPID DUMB LEE

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I'm still working on greentext history if anyone cares.

I went on TGstation and honestly our code is pretty robust compared: designed for fun not just for killing a traitor or being used by one.

Favorite unique thing on d20?

I think mine has to be relabeling boxes and floor.dm we have, it's pretty damn good.

>>51268274
the unwinding of some spaghetti that makes lag slightly less shit

>>51268274
i like that even tho ive played for so long im still finding new things
the changelog is for losers

irvan is a massive fag and mechs are silly
keep bullying me see what happens it only gets worse from here

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>>51268492

>>51268274
>just for killing a traitor or being used by one
Is this, is this really a thing servers do?

>>51269670
TGstation was cool once, but now it's 110% power gay men.

>>51269788
Oh. Does it have all the waifushittery of bay or vg?

>>51267564
There's pamflets for anomalies

>>51273293
This tells me very litle

>>51267564
>anomalies
Scan with analyzer, ping with radio signaler.
>disposals spewing shit out of them
Nothing.

>>51271277
It's worse than vg, better than bay.
/vg/station's waifushittery is mostly contained to the thread, which is a shithole. The server itself is mostly free of waifushittery aside from the stray autist. Looking at you, Chase.

>>51264528
>>51264616
Do the poll thing again please. People will have definitive reference when/if dorf is happening.
>>51266952
>>51267725
Might be nice if plasma bunnies were only made when born on plasma floors in addition to some rng.
>>51268274
Their code needs to entertain ~70 people at the same time. Our code needs to help 5-20 people entertain themselves and each other.

Lord singuloth has consumed the server (and my internet for a few minutes)

Also, one thing I was wondering, can you set an event to occur when a number of other events occur?

Like, if 10+ plasma rabbits explode in a short amount of time, spawn a singularity?

Also, shit, this was supposed to be posted last night

>>51275403
that would require a way for the world to continually monitor everything in the world for very particular changes and then keep track of them and act based off of that. Possible but severley spaghetti

>>51276296
If you made areas into processing atoms, you could hack something together that wouldn't be too much of a crime against the codebase.

>>51276296
Or hell, for that exact idea you could just keep a global fixed-length queue of the times rabbits exploded, and if the first and last element are within a certain time of each other it tells the rabbit's destroy() or gib() or whatever() to spawn a singulo.

>>51276728
As fun as it might be to set up some kind of Rube Goldberg rabbit exploding chain reaction that ends in singulo, that is a bad idea that would require equally bad spaghetti.

>>51276756
Not really?
Keep a global list of timestamps. Whenever a rabbit goes kerpop, write a timestamp to that list. If list length > however many rabbits need to kabam in the timeframe, remove the first element. Then check if the first element is within the timeframe of the last element. If so, singulo.
Should be doable with just a global list and some rather simple code in whatever method the rabbits call when they explode. I mean, unless BYOND is terminally retarded with how it handles lists and removing elements, but even if so that just means you have to manually move the list elements which is ez.

>>51276849
How about we just forget I asked anything

>>51276849
Pardon, omitted a step. If you singulo, wipe the list. I mean, unless you want shittonnes of singulos, which very well may be intended behavior.

>>51276849
Okay, but do you have an idea for this that isn't cancer?

>>51279847
You're going to have to explain what's wrong with the algorithm before I can start making improvements.

>>51279886
Not necessarily the method, the idea of that needs to be critiqued by someone more experienced, but the purpose, the end result.
Singulo spam is shit on a shit biscuit.

Maybe a modifier to mob spawn as more carp waves happen?

>>51279963
I'm just proposing code I feel is perfectly resonable to implement what the tripfags upthread said couldn't be done without fuckawful code. The actual result of this is mostly academic, I'm just comparing dick size coder-style.

>>51276849
lets revisit the idea of spawning a singluarlity just because rabbits die

that's just silly
>>51280030
its entirely doable with a global var or something forget first post about world monitoring something

I can't connect. Is relaxe DDOSing the server again?

Server recompiled, minor bugfixing along with a performance patch courtesy of Freeman.

>>51283340
>performance patch
give me the deets

Apparently shift + middle click points at things.

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rip server

>>51283575
Freeman modified roundstart setup because there was a spaghetti formula that determined the icon-state of space tiles.

Due to terrible lag spikes, I've reverted the changes I just compiled into the server.

>>51282485
Mega Chicken beats this stupid idea at lengths!

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Ideas for making this image SS13 related?

>>51285956
assistant saying "this is only a toy eword,capitain!"
or syndi saying "this esword cost only 500 dosh" in mays styke

>>51285956
Make it a stun baton, give him some shooped sec outfit in the tasteful blues. Include a dead clown somewhere.

Alternatively, make it a man hawking an esort for sale.

>>51286245
>>51286245
>>51286245

new fred