How do we make rescuing captured princesses interesting again?

>>51103285
She had a dick the whole time

>>51103285
The princess is the lure of a castle-sized anglerfish-like creature that eats adventurers.

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>>51103285
> it's expected of all Princesses to learn how to fence as part of etiquette training, so she can at least hold her own
> Her higher education means she can read ancient glyphs the party cannot
> crazy fucking high CHA

>>51103285
>>51103686
>You're rescuing the Princess once she gets too out of her depth adventuring
>Turns out she's pretty much your average paladin

Towergirls seems to be doing a good job of it.

I don't get the comic.

Someone explain it to me because I'm fucking retarded.

>>51103821
The real princess is in the bag. That's a demon masquerading as the princess.

>>51103821
He defeated the dark knight and found the "princess" tied up and "helpless". A princess who happens to have demon features, doesn't look worried, and has a very suspicious "totally not the real princess tied up and thrown in a sack" by her side.

>>51103285
The princess being captured is farce, she's actually staging a coup. Your job is to return with her alive, stop the coup and keep up the facade that the princess has done no wrong

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>>51103285
She was the only child of an old, now dead, king. Due to be married to the princely son of a powerful King, to secure the protection of his armies against the invaders seeking to take advantage of the interregnum.

The invaders cut a deal with any number of brigands, dragons, cults, traitors, and assort assholes hiding in the mountains, cutting them a deal where they'd get their own slice of the kingdom in exchange for preventing the thing from going through.

This is a problem for you, because that kingdom pays your salary, and you'd rather not be out of a job.

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>>51103835
>>51103841

>My fetish incarnate

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>>51103285
Princess (male)

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>>51103285
>How do we make rescuing captured princesses interesting again?

Make the princesses very attractive boys.
Everything else can stay.

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>>51104746
>>51104708
>>51103350
something something never change

>>51103858
The only interesting suggestion on this thread.

>>51105024
True, but I would personally throw a dick in there to discourage 'roleplaying'. Also weird mutations and disturbing cyclopean secrets. To keep the players occupied, you see.

>>51103285
I'm serious when I say: Play it absolutely straight.

Heck, do the entire scenario as orthodox as possible. Evil wizard, bad! You, hero, Kill!

I'm willing to bet that most of /tg/ has never actually experienced orthodox bubblegum fantasy, mostly having delved into generic intrigue, investigation and dungeon crawl -scenarios.

I've heard from many that bubblegum fantasy would actually be a breath of fresh air with all these dark and gritty games the past 20 years or so.

>>51105418
This. The pendulum has swung far enough that playing things without a trace of irony is actually new and refreshing.

>>51105418

Having love interest in a tabletop session is only ok if you are playing only with your significant other. If you are playing with a group of people, don't do that or create romancable NPCs since it weird everyone else out.

Leave that for video games and your own online ERP.

>>51103285
Read Ruslan and Ludmila.

The princess has a kidnap fetish. She also really likes turtles.

>>51103285
It was all an elaborate ruse by the king to get you over there for a surprise birthday party.

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This is probably just as cliche as before but
>King: "PLEASE HERO, MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY [Villains]! SHE'S SO CUTE AND HARMLESS AND DEFENSELESS SHE WON'T MAKE IT VERY LONG OUTSIDE THE CASTLE WALLS! PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP HER!"
>You get to [Lair]
>There's lots of blood everywhere and definite signs of struggle
>You find find a trinket that the King mentioned to be his daughter's keepsake
>You: "Oh no! Are we too late? Did they already kill her/sacrifice her/eat her/rape her?"
>As you continue deeper into [Lair] you hear sounds of battle and wonder if other adventurers were sent in here too
>When you reach [Room] you're surprised to see a single woman clad in armor with a great sword absolutely wrecking the [Villains] 1v5
>After killing all of them while barely breaking a sweat she turns to you and asks who you are
>You: "We were sent here to rescue the princess of [Kingdom], have you seen her?
>Masculine Woman: "Yeah I've seen her, she's right here."
>You: "Where?"
>Princess: Me, you [Insert Region Specific Insult]!

Then she explains that she came here on purpose because the [Villains] were threatening her townsfolk. You then realize that she could probably take on all of you and wonder why you were sent in the first place/how the King thought she was defenseless. When you get back, the princess says "I have something to do, I'll meet you in the throne room." When you get there and the king asks you where his daughter is, she comes from behind you dressed in normal princess attire and starts acting like daddy's little girl, telling the King how she was so scared. She is so obviously pretending that you start to speak up, but then she tells the King how (You) and your party busted through the door just in the nick of time and beat up all the bad guys heroically. The King is satisfied and throws you a bag of gold and a Macguffin as the princess gives you a smile and holds up an okay sign like pic related.

>>51103285
princes is dead and dismembered, her remains have been scattered in the enemy's 8 fortresses.

>>51105655
Mario pls

>>51105655
Ooh, I like playing Raise the Dead.

>>51105518
did you reply to the wrong post

>>51105641
It was still cute, anon, have a (you).

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>>51103285
The princess has been kidnapped! You must save h- oh she was found in Wisconsin? In the castle. Ok. What do you mean Princess Wisconsin is missing? ...she's WHERE?

And then the players slowly realize every princess in the world has been kidnapped and is trapped in Another Castle. They must all be put back.

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>>51105767
I like it!

Leonor Princesa de Asturias was kidnapped by terrorists. You are a commander of an elite special operations unit of the Spanish law enforcement and you are charged with the rescue operation. You storm the terrorists' base and advance through it, searching for the princess, but the operation turns out to be too difficult, you fail and the terrorists kill her. Only it was a simulation in a specially built copy of the base, and it was your fourth attempt. The government is forced to pay ransom and free several convicted terrorists.

>You kill the mercenaries
>Rescue the princess
>Take her back to her kingdom
>Told you will be rewarded handsomely.
>Reach her kingdom after days of travel.
>People in the streets cheer you as a hero
>You hand her back over to the king
>Expecting your promised reward
>Given gold, land, and title
>Discover something awful that ruins mood
>King, and clergymen are into Lovecraft b.s.
>Princess is to be sacrificed in ritual
>Entire kingdom is along for the ride
>Ritual to summon a Great Old One.
>The princess has ben coheresed into it.
>The mercenaries you killed were the heroes
>Heroes kidnapped the princess from kingdom
>Tied princess up so she wouldn't run off
>Heroes were deciding what to do with her
>Then you showed up

>>51106073
Well, time to rise to the occasion.

And with some luck, so will the princess.

>>51106073
Sounds like an obscure video game plot desu. I'd play it.

>>51106073
great, sounds like your turn to capture princess

On a lonely road, you find a girl dressed regally, she explains that her kingdom has vanished.

>>51106452
And as soon as you get her safely away you're tracked down by a team of heroes.

>>51103604
Sounds like a big mimic.

>>51106599
We're not obliged to stupidity in order to set the plot in motion, so we'll talk it out and show them all the evidence we gathered.

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>>51103285
You were the princess all along

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>>51106749
I'm still miffed that this comic didn't say "A faggot in a dress"

>>51106599
not if we persuade them to our cause

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>>51106774
That's some obscure thesaurus shit anon. I like it.

>>51105641
Overdone in the 90's

>>51107190
Name 3 video games, 2 movies, 4 short stories that this happened in

>>51107213
>Shhhh anon, of course he can't, but he so badly wanted to sound knowledgeable !

>>51107213
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DamselOutOfDistress

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>>51107291
touche you cheeky bastard

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>>51107271
>if I don't know something, none knows it

I've played PnP for more than a decade, almost half of that being DnD/Pf and I've never once rescued a captured princess

>>51105641
>Help, the good sir knight (until recently) has kidnapped the princess!
>Turns out, the princess wants to take it upon herself to become an explorerer, adventurerer, treasure hunter, hero bandit pirate antiquarian boy-chaser whatever.
>Knight is bound to protect the princess, no matter what, so is forced to follow along even against the wishes and orders of the king.
>She is competent, at least, decently so, and always seems to be after the same thing the party tend to be, or working with the same allies (Or even villians) that they seem to run into.

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>>51107291
>Has to posts links to tvtropes, because he can't recall even a single one of those examples by himself, even though he just claimed that they were "Muh So Overdone"

I ain't even mad, just quite amused.

>>51107364
This.
In 25 years of gaming, I have never saved a princess from a dragon, but people swear it's a played out idea.
How is it played out if people don't do it?
Shit, you know the last time I ran into a dragon in Dungeons and Dragons?

>>51107403
> sir knight
>acting against the wishes and orders of the king
How can he call himself a knight if he does not obey his king?

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>>51107443
>I am right
"no, you're wrong"
>my proofs?
"here is a list of proofs"
>lol you posted proofs, what a loser

The princess is in fact two smaller princesses in an overcoat.

>>51103285
plot twist. you were the princess the whole time and you just fell deeper into the trap

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>>51107468
What I mean is that it is NOT overdone, if you can't even recall any of those so-called OVERDONE cliches from the top of your head, you dirty triple-mongoloïd.
Way to miss the point.

>>51107475
Now this is something new.

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>>51103285
>turns out the princess was "insert random monster here" the whole time
>you gotta save the queen, the princess is rather miffed that she was overlooked
>the princess(male) needs to be saved
>the princess was being kept in the tower because she was super evil and powerful
>that's not a princess! It's a bomb!
>you were the princess all along
>the princess never existed
>the princess AND the tower/dungeon never existed
>you must capture the princess and stop local adventurers from saving her, increasing the defenses of your tower/dungeon as the hordes grow stronger!

>>51103285
She already tied herself to the pole, just leave her there. She even did us the convenience of placing the genuine princess into an easily portable bag, too.

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>>51107501
>If you don't hold the names of X number of stories with Y traits in your head at recall at all times for just such an occasion, your point is invalidated

Not even him but that's pretty shitty arguement desu, especially considering that if he had just listed the names verbatim from the site then your argument would have no ground to stand on.

Sorry people don't find your "damsel in distress is secretly a strong, independent, woman who don't need no man" routine fresh anymore.

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>>51107443
>>51107501
You can't possibly be this retarded...
Not even the anon you replied to.

The princess is a humanoid gateway to the elemental plane of Princess; the font from which princess power flows into all princesses across the world.

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>>51108120
>trying to imply that is a narrative fetishism of mine
As if, you triple-moron.

You got me red handed

>>51106599
>stick an enormous banner over the entrance to your fortress
"Fuck off! The Princess is a cultist!"

>>51108094
>not tickling her with a feather

>>51108171
Overdone in media X doesn't mean overdone in media Y.

When have you last encountered a princess rescue campaign? I have barely even heard of one. Go to the explain your game in under 10 words and ctrl+f princess.

>>51106721
>>51106804
Implying you guys gave the first group of heroes half a second to explain themselves, or that the third group is going to try as well.

>>51108510
This.

Also need some sort of blindfold and if token magic dude could make some ice that would be super useful.

What were we doing again?

>>51108574
if rescue princess was not done enough playing it subverted is stupid

>>51108041
>the princess is actually your sidekick and was with you this whole time!
>the princess is an allegory for your suppressed memories and the dragon is your mother!
>you find the princess dead and must investigate her murder!
>you have to infiltrate the dungeon disguised as a goblin, but the princess herself is a goblin in disguise, and the evil wizard is the king in disguise and the king back in the castle is the princess in disguise!
>wait, then where is the real evil wizard?
>it was you all along!

>>51108586
running is a good trick, it will give enough time to explain ourselve

>>51103285
There is no princess.
What there is, however, is a dungeon full of increasingly lethal traps intended to cull the adventurer population and eliminate potential usurpers.
Anyone who retreats will have their reputation ruined, since they're cowards.
Anyone who doesn't will never make it out alive to spread the truth.

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>>51108574
>Overdone in media X doesn't mean overdone in media Y.
They have examples from 15 different media. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm bothering to spoon feed this to you. Why don't you take a look at the page?

>BBEG needs cash
>holds princess for ransom
>realizes he's upholding a sexist cliché
>writes ransom demand
>letter includes long-winded explanation on how this capture doesn't reflect poorly on the princess, how she's still a strong individual, how the BBEG respects women
>BBEG proceeds to list all of his female friends

>>51106599
>The Heroes save the princess but leave you alive for whatever reason
>GOO is summoned
>You go back in time to try again
>You disguise yourself and capture the princess again
>Your past selves track you down, kill you and return the princess to kingdom

>>51103285
Closest I've done:
>the princess is a member of your party and a sister of one (or more) of the PCs
>and in fact it's you who's "kidnapping her"
>because the game started with a coup by an evil vizier

The princess is actually the daughter of an Ogre King in disguise, and the capture is a ruse to find her a husband. Will you make this sacrifice and save your kingdom from the revenge of the Fey King? Or can you find another way out of this mess?

>>51103804
Anything that lets a guy jack off is worth SOMETHING.

>>51103285
The first quest I ever ran had the party rescuing the princess from a necromancer who was trying to syphon some kind of power from her.

Upon fighting the necromancer it was revealed that the power within the princess was the fact she was the phylactery of the King.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE

>>51103285
>You weren't meant to interfere and you've ruined some elaborate plan
>The entire thing was a theatre production you thought was real
>It's actaully a monstergirl princess, the recruiters left that out
>She's bound to the castle and just wants some excitement
>She's actaully more than capable to free herself but uses it as a screener for possible lovers she's also Yandere
Any of those options

>>51109534
You might want to know you're arguing with two different anons. Nonetheless, all I'm saying is that yes, Damsel in Distress is the most overplayed trope in all of history, but.

But.

I'm just pointing out that actual damsels in distress are actually very rare in TRPGs. That's what I'm getting at. And I'm arguing only about TRPGs, I don't think Haramanon is right.

My only point is that I could bet that most people on /tg/ has never either rescued or kidnapped a princess in game, even though the trope is so popular. This screams opportunity in my head, because the classic becomes novel when the subversions outweigh the original, or as in this case, both are extremely rare.

Much like the meme of Benebot Conderdash, the meme got so bloated that saying his actual name is considered novel these days.

>You have completely ruined some insurance scam and are asked to help her and her family to pull off another one to save the family mansion

>>51110263
>You were hired by the insurance company to keep the princess safe.

>>51106073
Then what's stopping us from going the full carnage route and killing the entirety of kingdom?

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>>51103285
Read a fairytale for the demonlord.

>The princess was willingly captured and was doing so to gain valuable information knowing full well that someone would be sent to rescue her
OR
>The Princess was married off by her parents to a prince of a far off kingdom for the purposes of expanding their wealth before discovering that the other kingdom was almost entirely broke

The princess developed Stockholm syndrome and now you have to convince her that you did the right thing rescuing her. In the process you find out that the capturer really wasn't that bad and maybe you shouldn't have interfered. When you return her to her kingdom her parents force her into an arranged marriage with a man she doesn't like at all.

>>51106073
I like this

>>51111155
I like the first one.
And the second one could be really good, especially if the new royal family is able to restore the kingdom now that they have the legal authority to do so- and thus the far-off kingdom ends up becoming more powerful than the original one.

>>51105368
You throwing a dick in there is "roleplaying". Stop.

>>51103285

Your quest was one of self-discovery. The princess was the you all along.

The problem with most of these "The people you saved the princess from were good and the king is evil" things are that there is nothing stopping the captors from just telling the party what's up.
Hell, even if the party doesn't believe them the princess is there to vouch for them. The only way it would work is if the party was all murderhobos who don't care about doing the right thing, at which point the twist is wasted on them.

>>51111184
>it's interesting because you're a bad guy

>>51111535
Um... wut? You're not.

>>51103285
By the time you get there, they're dead.

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>>51111704
She was dead all along.

>>51109590
> BBEG is a nu-male
I love this idea

>>51111830
As were you. It's the afterlife. You will be rescuing the princess for eternity as a punishment for thinking that saving princesses is an overused cliche when you have never actually saved any in any of your games.

>>51106804
>Try talking to them.
>They don't even seem to acknowledge the fact that you're talking.
>Just mindlessly attack you.
>Memories start flooding back.
>The great feast held in the castle for your sending off.
>The delicious and exotic-tasting wine.
>Made you feel so alive.
>So ready for adventure.
>So ready to KILL.

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>>51108731
>the princess is an allegory for your suppressed memories and the dragon is your mother!
>dad says you still have to pilot her and fight the other dragons

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>>51103285
>Desert/Arabia setting
>Princess is in a Niqab/Burka
>But those hips tho
>No Monster in sight
>Return to Palace we her in tow
>Princess takes off veil
>HARAM
>Princess is Blue Dragon
>City falls to Blue dragon
>Am now a harem male to this Slut Blue dragon who has taken all the Money and oil and fucks us nonstop daily
>She Thicc tho
>Eats the ones she doesn't like

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>>51112104

>>51111830
basically the plot of Spec Ops: The Line

>>51112104
Hah, I was planning on using this in my current campaign as the resident desert overlord.
Exemplars is a useful book.

>>51112357
And also silly.

>>51112104
St-stop it! This is a christian imageboard!

>>51103285
The hero is married with a loving wife and children, the princess is also married to a loving husband that was crippled in battle. The hero tries to save her because she must take the throne from her evil uncle who murdered her father. No one spends countless hours talking about wether or not the princess and the hero will have sex because they're both in stable relationships, everyone just enjoys the story instead

>>51107475
> the entire royal family are gnomes and no one knew!

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>>51106073
I don't recommend playing it just for that, but you might be interested in Warframe's "The Glast Gambit" quest. It's got a layer of Scifi over it, but this is what it boils down to:

> help remote islanders: save the kidnapped little girl!
> girl actually is this year's volcano god sacrifice
> islanders have centered their culture and lifestyle around said volcano god
> girl is willing participant

Her kidnappers aren't heroes, but you get to be one yourself:

> end of quest, choice appears
> keep girl
> send back girl
> let girl decide

If you let her decide, she'll say something like "I know our ways must seem strange to you, but thank you for respecting them. I'd want nothing else but be volcano god food."

In classic video game fashion, your choice doesn't really matter because it's just a one-off side quest and you never meet the islanders again.

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>>51103835
>>51103841
I've been on this board so long that I didn't even realize anything wrong with the princess being a demon.

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Final Fantasy IX had you kidnap the princess because her mother in grief from the loss of her husband was being manipulated by an evil regeant who was going to sacrifice the princess.

Turns out the lord of another land who hired you to perform the kidnapping was her uncle who had concerns and santed to keep her safe.

>>51111184
With that line
>in the process, you find out that the capturer really wasn't that bad and maybe you shouldn't have interfered.

I thought you were going for a "her stockholm syndrome rubs off on you, and the group starts working for the "kidnapper" until another band of heroes is sent to rescue them + the princess.

What if you're rescuing the princess after she was abducted by a UFO?

>>51103285
The player is delusions enough to think they're rescuing when the princess isn't actually captured. They don't know they're the kidnappers.

>>51111998
Brutal.

>>51103686
artist?

>>51113224
Well, you should.
Succubi are shit in the bedroom because all they do is breed for procreation, know nothing of innovative sex toys and often just kill a partner on teasing or driving sex-off topic to torturous death sequences.
Erinyes Fare no better, really

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>>51103285
>the dragon is inside the princess
>you have to go in after him

>>51110180
>I'm just pointing out that actual damsels in distress are actually very rare in TRPGs. That's what I'm getting at. And I'm arguing only about TRPGs,

Currently very rare. TTRPGs have existed for roughly 43 years now and rescuing fair maidens/princesses/noble ladies was very common during the early decades. One of the D&D basic Accessory Module had a stock save princess from monsters. Palace of the Silver Princess (green) is actually another example of a save a trapped ruler and one of the monsters (decapus) in the original orange version was was a damsel in distress bait and switch. Rahasia is all about saving elven maidens from an evil priest.

Subversions (damsel rescues herself, is male, etc.) and bait and switches (damsel is actually a monster/illusion/villain/etc.) on the trope became so stupidly common that they themselves became reoccurring cliches.

>>51110180
>I'm just pointing out that actual damsels in distress are actually very rare in TRPGs. That's what I'm getting at. And I'm arguing only about TRPGs, I don't think Haramanon is right.
>a cliche is only a cliche in one genre at a time
but that's wrong anyway

>>51113379
>party walks into a room with the princess tied to a pole.
> Except her bulging stomach takes up half the room and has torn her dress easily.
>the dragon, though muffled, mockingly invites the party to take the princess home, or fight him.
>what do?

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>>51113738
>>51113379
literally every dragon thread

every single fucking one

>>51114235
Isn't it usually about dragon vore/spelunking with dragon(ess) eating or unbirthing somebody, rather than dragon being eaten?

Then again, this is a princess thread instead of a dragon thread, so I quess it's appropriate that "dragon vore" involved dragon being eaten by princess ("In Soviet Russia...").

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>>51112104
>Being conscripted into an evil dragon despots reverse harem

This feeling... It's overwhelming me.

>>51113224
is that Elf Only Inn fan art?

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>>51103285
The guy asking you to do it looks like that

>>51114692
Same shit.

teeg can't talk about dragons without it turning into someone eating someone.

Dragons are cool yo.

>>51115536
>>51116019
I don't see a problem here

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>>51116095
The problem is that /tg/ is inundated with raging 3rd Dan Fagmaster level faggots.

It makes Sithrak sad and their punishment shall be eternal and terrible. But no worse than the rest of us.

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>>51113379
>>the dragon is inside the princess
M-Mana transfer?

>>51103285
They're dead. You're rescuing them from the afterlife.
The country recently changed religions for political reasons.
But the princess ended up in the wrong afterlife.

It's not so much a rescue as it is a kidnapping.

>>51116113
What a waste of a cute looking princess

>>51116183
Then is it really punishments?

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>>51116400
Yes. Sithrak punishes all without fear or favor, there is no god more fair than he.

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>>51103285

I'm a fan of the King ordering his daughter to be kidnapped and quietly killed (maybe for reasons of succession), while tearfully sending adventurers to "rescue" her in order to cover for his involvement.

The heroes find her prison and save the princess against all odds, only to discover that this puts them on the King's shitlist right along with his little girl. Now they have to help the Princess overthrow the government if they want to live. Meanwhile, the original assassins the king hired are personally affronted that the party thwarted them and are committed to seeing them dead.

I feel like that would be a great adventure to start a campaign on.

>>51116506
That part was sick as fuck

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>>51115765
Elona.

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>>51116506
>I'm a fan of the King ordering his daughter to be kidnapped and quietly killed
Straight up ordering her to be killed is a rookie mistake. No, you have to handle these things with a little more finesse.

>>51107213
>Post this jokingly before I go to bed
>Thought it was obviously a joke
>Come back and people argued about it for half the thread
I already knew it was kind of overdone since it was the polar opposite of the original trope, which is usually just as cliche.

>>51107461
A man will do anything, if he is horny enough.

>>51103285

Have the princess be someone the party likes or is friends with.

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>>51103285
>How do we make rescuing captured princesses interesting again?

"You lot are adventurers, you said? Well, I've got a bit of a problem in the basement and I'd be really thankful if you'd take a look at it for me..."

>>51113379

How did the princess become larger on the inside?

>>51113738

Why unbirth a dragon though?

>>51113738
This is pretty damn funny

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>>51116822
The desire of smiting and cleaving its almost surreal.

>>51117132
>openly desiring to lay hands with murderous intent on the truly-crowned heir of Divine Will
Your tapestry is of a crusader, yet you are no knight of righteousness, ye, it is clear that you are but a scoundrel, an atheist, and a lawless brigand.

>>51116506

Or the party could convince the defeated assassins to work for them since the king probably isn't going to pay them now and may well punish them.

>>51117169

>Implying that your rhetorics would stay my smiting hand, Knave.

>>51108731
>you have to infiltrate the dungeon disguised as a goblin, but the princess herself is a goblin in disguise
I really like this part.
>You suddenly come across this one goblin who's acting unlike the other goblins
>In fact she's acting as if she comes from royalty with her manners intact
>She then tells you that the evil wizard is back at the castle disguised as the king, the king was disguised as the queen, the princess was disguised as the goblin you're talking to here, and the queen is somewhere in this dungeon disguised as the princess
>The evil wizard is actually an expert in transmutation and wanted to play a trick on the castle
>SInce he's broken like every law he's still technically evil and when you get back with the princess and uncover his ruse he polymorphs into a bird and flies away

>>51107501
Shrek did it

>>51117176

Generally, the only assassins a king is going to hire are A. paid in advance, B. see honoring their contract as such a badge of honor that they will NEVER stop until the target is dead, and C. are really, really skilled.

The only way the party can stop the assassins is by wiping them out (they tend not to be large organizations to start with for obvious reasons) or showing them proof that the King was planning to cheat them, thus breaking the contract.

>>51116822

We game of thrones now.

>>51103285

There never was a captured princess.

Two neighboring kingdoms are ruled by kings who have a friendly rivalry and a mutual hobby of building the most secure fortresses possible. After constructing their latest and greatest "impenetrable" castle, they challenge one another to infiltrate it as discreetly as possible. This game has a few rules:

1) No open warfare - this is a hobby and not the worst possible excuse to conquer each other.
2) Minimal casualties - at least a few peasants and guards will still die but this is more like a fantasy Mission Impossible-esque hobby.
3) The mission is always "rescue the princess" - it's actually a pass-code to identify which adventurers are "part of the game"

Basically you're unwitting white hat castle-hackers.

>>51103285

I have a question. What do you do with a prince or princess who is several siblings away from succession who manifests as a sorceror?

>>51117225
>divine right of kings, as passed to God's chosen people by his son Jesus Christ, the King of Kings
or
>lawlessness and hedonism in contradiction to God's laws, refusing to acknowledge the divinely-appointed monarch in defiance of the Lord Christ
You are less even than the least of the Moors, for they at least are not treasonous towards their monarch or their deity.

>>51117321

And to follow, you can re-use the setting 500 years later where all those fortresses are still around and used for real. Perfect backstory for a dungeon-riddled countryside.

>>51117376

>Implying that im not ordained by god himself.

>>51117353
Send them to a convent, hospice, or monestary of the local life/healer God, get them exereience helping and defending the weak and unfortunate. Then put them under the tutilage of an engineer before putting them on a team in charge of public works projects. If they are going to have arcane power then either make them too responsible to start trouble, or responsible enough to run things well after they seize power from their older siblings.

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>>51117321

We can go deeper.

>The party busts into the final room of the fortress
>They find a terrified chained-up woman surrounded by several surprised male guards. >Kill them all
>they ask her "Are you the princess?"
>"Yes! Yes, I am! Thank you!"

>They return the princess to the king
>King be like "what da fuq"
>"Princess" was just a random traveller the bored fortress guards had grabbed for rape
>but secretly
>She was actually the princess of a foreign country
>Massive
>Diplomatic
>Incident

>>51117104
Oh ye of little brain, anon, she didn't willingly take the dragon/use Swallow Whole, the dragon shoved their own body in there/passed a d80 escape artist check.

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>>51116019
>>51116113

>>51103285
Loli princess.

>>51117060
>it's not the king hiring the adventurers to rescue the princess
>it's the bartender
>she's holed herself up in the basement and refuses to come out
>she has a knife
>there are also rats
>they probably didn't kidnap her, but it's possible
>"I don't care what you do with her, just get her gone!"

>>51118164
I was thinking more along the lines that he had an infestation of princesses but this works just as well

>>51118436
>Skaven are a matriarchal society
>the party goes to the cellar
>finds a massive fucking rat in advanced pregnancy
>was actually a princess in some sort of a Skaven convoy that was killed off by a bunch of adventurers
>after wandering for a few hours crawled into the cellar to give birth
>will protect its offspring really really fiercely
>will claw with full force
>while shitting out rats

>>51105641
I like it. Heck, make the princess a competent martial artist/slash ninja trained by some blind old master. Her dad is naive and trusting typical incompetent king, so she stages these "kidnappings" every now and then as an excuse to go out and clean up the trash that threaten the safety of the kingdom. Now she uses her supposed romantic interest in (You) as a pretext to send you and the party on a campaign's worth of cloak and dagger stuff, culminating in her fake-marrying whoever was supposed to be the interest in order to lure the evil warlord/scheming count final boss into a kill zone.

>>51106531
That's a different quest, but it sounds fun. I'd play it.

>>51119727
Personally I'd rather her be heavily armored and strong rather than a martial artist. I can only think of Shrek when I think of a princess with ninja training though that at least makes it easier to disguise to the king.

>>51113368
Kevin Hong.

>>51111075
Wow, I'd completely forgotten about this. Has it even updated in the past six months?

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>>51117169
>>51117376
>Trying to Out lawyer an institution with their own rules.

Nigga, I don't know if you a punk-ass, Royal, Bitch-Nigga, or just dumbass Peasent, but let me let you in on a little secret. I AM THE POPE BITCH! THE BIG G-MONEY'S MAIN MAN, HIS DAWG, HIS HOMEBOY! Me an' him, we tight dawg, I even got tha nigga on speed Dial!

An' you know he tol' me? He said ta' give all dem bitch ass-wannabees gangstas who start talkin' sheet and disobey'n his commandments the Pimp hand! I will personally have my Crusaders beat yo' ass so bad, not even yo momma's gonna reco'nize you!

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>>51120338
Your Holiness, I simply thought it was ironic that one of those stupid crusaderfags who probably doesn't even go to Mass was questioning the divine right of kings as an instictive reaction to a libelous and irreverent claim made against Her Majesty with no grounds whatsoever. Either he is mad, your Holiness, or he is treasonous.

I'd like to at this point reiterate that the Queen and the Church remain on the most amicable terms. After all, what could an unmarried Queen head of state ever do about the Universal Church even if she wanted to?

>>51119844
Eh, it's not exactly easy to hide heavy armor and great weapons training. Tends to be noisy. Martial arts, on the other hand, can be taught by a seemingly-innocent "calligraphy teacher" or something of the sort.

>>51116506
And thanks to that one panel I read the entire manga, thank you very much.

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>>51103285
>implying I wouldn't the demon

>>51116183
Do you think my players will notice if I include Sithrak as a deity in my campaign?

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>>51117176
>Or the party could convince the defeated assassins to work for them

>>51111452
You caring about her genitals is the very reason that dick is there.

>le ebin subversion
It's just boring as the original, worse even because you think it's clever

>>51123080
Or maybe you just think everything is boring. Judging from your post that's probably the case. Try learning to enjoy something simple.

>>51123330
Lazy writing is bad and so is lazy writing + twist. There is no cruise control simple trick for making something interesting.

>>51123379
>Using a trope is lazy writing
>Doing anything done before is lazy writing
Okay, Drizzt

>>51123405
Are you replying to the wrong comment?

>>51103350
The princess is your twin brother, except he has a different hair color.

>>51105518
That's not even remotely true. I've seen a lot of good PC romances between two players who weren't dating. Hell, once when one of them was actually married to the DM.

As long as you have a decent group that's capable of differentiating between in-character and out-of-character, there's no problem.

>>51123426
No, I'm not. You think princesses in distress is boring and so are princesses not in distress. You're also saying they're both examples of lazy writing. The entire thread was about changing trope and you're saying that trope is boring and lazy writing.

>>51123451
I'm saying that it's boring because of lazy writing, not because of the trope. Just taking shitty writing and then flipping it still leaves you with shit.

>>51103285
The princess is your sister.

>>51118050
Who wants the D so fucking bad she can taste it and, by virtue of being royalty, is educated and neurologically sound (a wizard did it) enough to make rational decisions thereabout.

>>51123479
Just saying "It's lazy writing" isn't argument. You haven't actually said what's lazy, you're just assuming everything is lazy writing. Simple doesn't mean lazy. Rescuing a princess isn't lazy writing either, it's just a simple trope that can play out any number of ways. The thread was about ideas concerning the trope, not the fact that everyone that uses the trope writes it lazily.

>>51123526
I'm saying that the problem isn't the trope, it's the writing of the person using the trope. All the twists and subversions won't fix that. Also you seem to be saying I said a lot of things I didn't, what's up with that?

>>51123560
>you seem to be saying I said a lot of things I didn't
No, you just never said anything at all so I had to go off of what I thought you meant. You never said anything about the person writing the trope, you just saying "Lazy writing". Who exactly are you even saying is writing it lazily? The thread wasn't about a specific thing, the whole thing was about subverting the trope.

The only thing ">le ebin subversion
It's just boring as the original, worse even because you think it's clever" tells me is you think everything is boring.

>>51123618
We seem to be having a failure to communicate, let's start from the top.
>How do we make rescuing captured princesses interesting again?
Implies that the OP encounters boring princess rescues on a regular basis. A great deal of the posts in this thread are just 1 to 1 flips.
>the princess rescues you
>the princess is actually a prince
>the princess is actually the bbeg
etc.
These bandaid fixes aren't going to fix anything. Making an interesting story is much more complicated than that. OP will be better served by improving his writing on a more fundamental level rather than hoping making everything the opposite will magically make it more interesting.

>>51103285
>Yours is one of multiple groups sent after the princess and along the way you have to keep others from taking her
>The princess is an evil and powerful sorceress but also the only hope for the country against an invading horde
>There are multiple princesses and you've been conscripted by one to keep her alive and eliminate the others

>>51105418
True. That's not to say there can't be anything weird going on but if you want those to hit home you have to have a normal world around that event.

>>51118164
>Brave adventurers, we need you to save the princess!
>Has she been kidnapped?
>... probably not, we think she's throwing a tantrum and is hiding in the basement with the rats, any guards we've sent down have had rats thrown at them until they went away. While she shouted "Only a true hero can save the princess!". She's been down there for a few days, I think she's enlisted the court mage to teleport her meals to her.

>>51123756
You're assuming that the encounters are lazily written instead of assuming that he just thinks it's boring or he thinks that the encounters are lazily written even if that's not the case. You're also assuming that this thread was designed to be about creative writing, when it's not. Any trope is bad with lazy writing but this isn't about
>My gm is shit at writing and he made a bland save the princess encounter

The princess is a very able warrior and has saved a lot of other people on several occasions, and befriended the heroes during her adventures. However, this time she is in deep trouble and can't get out herself, so the rescuing plot is played completely straight. The princess feels humbled and has to learn that even the greatest heroes may need help sometimes.

>>51103285
You save the princess successfully, but while you and all the other knights were out galavanting the coup went off without a hitch. The princess is now the only member of the royal family left alive and the kingdom is no longer safe.

>>51122708
source?

>>51124266
Have you tried googling it?

>>51107461
Depends if the knight was sworn to the King or to the princess. If his oath and loyalty was to her, then he would be fully in the right.

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>>51103285
/x/ has a way

>>51106774
That is literally the joke though, making it that obvious would diminish it.

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>>51124276
google reverse search algorithm is fucked now for some reason. Doesn't search similar images, just makes a quick approxiamtion based upon patterns and colors and spits a keyword (here is was "design").
On top of that Iqdb, saucenao and tineye failed too.

So, yes I reiter: can I have a source

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>>51124472
>inb4: why niggers

>>51124472
Since you at least tried, you get a source. Spirit Circle. Also, try yandex.

>>51103285
well just making her a badass not in need of rescuing leaves the PC's feeling kind of unnecessary.

way I see it you can either do the badass in distress trope where the pc's can storm the place because they lost most of the troops capturing her, but she's so hevily bound and cursed right now she can't fight, or play up that she's really good at noncombat stuff. as in when the pc's find her the fight with the end boss is winnable explicitly because she got his lieutenant to get into a fight to the death with him, but she's more or less useless in a fight and kind of rattled about actually seeing violence.

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>>51124472
Hello? Do you think google is the only search engine on the internet?

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>>51124480
>>51124483
Thank you I just missed the notice.
You advice will be put to good use.

>>51124554
>On top of that Iqdb, saucenao and tineye failed too.

>>51124614
>Ignoring that did work

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>it's a tomboyish knight saving prince from a dragon

>>51103285
You have to save the Dragon from the princess.

>The royal family has worshipped and sent offerings to the dragon to keep their kingdom safe from other dragon threats, at this point it's mostly tradition and a symbiotic relationship where "worshipping the dragon" is just a term thrown around with no worry for what it usually would entail.
>The princess has stolen the dragonslayer sword used to defend the kingdom from other antagonistic dragons in an effort to "save" her future people from the menace of the dragon forcing them to worship it.

>>51122489
Do it.

DO EEEET!

Even if they do it's will make no difference if you need a destroyer god of fucking shit up indiscriminately.

If you were my DM I would not mind even if I noticed but unless they read Oglaf they probably won't.

>>51124730
From an evil witch. And her prince is a Muslim saracen. Then she saves him from a well-intentioned wizard, who then captures her, but she's rescued by another knight. Then they all save a bunch of other people, she fights another lady warrior who turns out to be her beloved prince's sister, then she marries him after he's converted to Christianity. Yeah, those renaissance writers weren't fond of simple plots.

>>51103285
The princess is a cuntboy.
The dragon is his sister.
The king is a wizard.
The king was not a wizard.
The wizard was not a king.
The wizard's child support is due.
The child is the dragon's mother.
The dragon's mother is an elder wyrm sleeping under the mountain.
The elder wyrm hatched from an egg.
The egg was laid by the cuntboy.
The cuntboy is a sorcerer.
The sorcerer is a dragon.
The dragon kidnaps the princess and the king hires you to rescue her.

>>51124766
Or
>The Princess wanted X dragon as a pet
>Father is a big enough pushover to listen to her and uses his court wizards and knight forces to capture the dragon and put in the dungeon so it can be trained
>That dragon was the only thing keeping the Y race/faction/ancient evil at bay and without the threat of a dragon they now have free reign over the countryside/want to invade the kingdom/are going to awaken and bring darkness unto the land
>You have to get the key that the haughty conceited princess is wearing as a necklace, fight through the swarms of guards she's called after you, find the dungeon, and free the dragon
>Dragon thanks you and gives you a plot device

>>51117880
I was playing this recently too, fuck

>>51124804
He's really not a destroyer god, he's pretty close to a run off the mill mostly benevolent god being the bouncer to the afterlife based on your deeds.
Some fuck with a big enough terra cotta army overthrown him and chucked him into hell.

>>51124970
It is such a quiet thing, to fall.

It is far more terrible to admit it.

>>51124976
The terra cotta part could have been only a fanfiction from his disciple.

>>51124730
Of love, fair marquise your beautiful eyes make me die.
>>51124964
Fair die me eyes, marquise your make love of beautiful.

>>51125070
Actually his disciples are the ones fanfictionning he hates everyone see >>51116437

>>51125084
Well they weren't fanfictionning until that point because the only book they has on him was his edgy teen period diary.

>>51120035
It ended, but I don't know if a sequel/prequel is to be expected.

>>51105641
>le princess is actually strong capable fighter meme

Why rescue somebody who doesn't need it?

>>51125374
He actually explained why.

>>51125374
>le i didn't actually read any of the post and I'm going to make up a random arguement meme
The entire point of the post was that the king thinks his daughter is incapable of fighting and hired adventurers.

>>51106073
Isn't that like a chunk of the plot from Conan the Destroyer? Except instead of evil wizard it's actual heroes?

>>51115765
Elona.
In this game you technically can marry ANYTHING.

>>51124957
First, that just sounds like more than one plot to me.
Secondly, which Renaissance writer wrote this and what is it called? I want to read it.

The princess that was kidnapped was actually the kobold princess who was stolen as a wee tot, polymorphed into a human child, and raised as a human princess, all as a show of force to the kobold underground empire by the human queen who had thoroughly routed and decimated them in a war. The spies finally figured out which member of the royal family and their direct branches was their princess and abducted her on their own ruler's orders to bring her back to her "true home" and break the long standing polymorph. The queen has not let the party in on the political machinations regarding this false human princess. Said princess has no idea of her true species.

You and the princess are both captured. Both of you work together to break out.

>>51127249
>First, that just sounds like more than one plot to me.
That's a brief summary of only one of the several major plotlines there. It's Orlando Furioso by Ludovico Ariosto.

>>51103285
play it completely straight and follow the trope exactly while dropping hints that there's a hidden twist. Watch your players tear themselves apart trying to figure it out when there isnt one

>>51127381
I sorta did that. The premise for my party's start was that they had all been captured and enslaved by goblins. I gave them several NPCs to help, one of them being a young lord kidnapped on his way to claim his lands, his father having died.

>>51103285
You're working for a dragon who wants to capture a princess, but this princess has already been captured by a different dragon. (Other dragons are dicks.) So now you have to go rescue the princess so you can capture the princess.

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>>51103285
The princess will only agree to go with you if you defeat hear in a wrestling match

>>51103686
>it turns out she's the DMPC
Nope. That's pretty normal.

>>51130162
I voluntarily lose.

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>>51130162
>wrestling match
There was no princess, it was Billy Herrington the entire time.

>>51131140
Hey, buddy, I think you got the wrong door. /hm/ is two blocks down.

>>51131379
Fuck you.

>>51131388
No, fuck you, leatherhead!

>>51131539
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPJvGMYxDPs

>>51130162
>Wrestle her
>Princess carry her out of the dungeon

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>>51129754
You must rescue a princess captured by a dragon, but that dragon, along with the princess, was captured by another dragon, and this dragon was enslaved by an evil wizard...

>>51106672
U U
U U

>>51106073
That's some Berserk tier shit anon.

>>51103285
The Princess is the harbinger of the end and you need to rescue her and hold her captive elsewhere to make sure she never completes the Armageddon ritual.

>>51103285

When you rescue her she claims to be someone else.

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Your party consists of a bunch of radical democratic/republican revolutionaries, and you take the princess captive to blackmail the king into abdicating so you can create a constitutional republic. He sends a traditional fantasy party after you and you guys need to stop them from penetrating your Evil Lair of Democracy! Only you can save the Revolution! Send these royalist thugs to their graves!

No need to subvert the trope entirely. It's the small things like pursuing an enemy on the move rather than one entrenched in a hideout or liar, or having the princess distrust the party once rescued and attempt to escape.

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>instead of "knight rescues princess from dragon"
>princess rescues dragon from knight
>she and the young wyrmling have been friends for much of her life
>as she starts to come of age, a knight tries to court her
>she continues to refuse him
>somehow, he kidnaps and shackles the dragon
>tells her to marry him, else he kills the dragon and spreads the word the beast had magically enthralled he, painting the knight a hero and her friend a horrible monster
>she agrees to see him, to make sure he follows through on releasing the dragon
>when she gets close enough, she pulls a weapon and leaves him unconscious or worse
>frees dragon
>marries dragon

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>>51103285
The PCs have to rescue the Princess from herself.

>>51103285
Once you rescue the Princess, battle royale between the heroes that have come.

There can be only one valiant knight, because all of the stories she was told as a child there is only one.

>>51141779
>abandon bratty princess acquire knight/heroic allies

Her obsession with stories makes me think of a bard, and everyone knows that you shouldn't fuck them on principle (lest they cause a 'simple misunderstanding' by feigning belief you cheated on them to 'spice up the relationship').

>>51141779
>>51142450
>This is actually a secret test of character
>Turns out she set up the rescue to give you all practice because she's actually a wizard princess
>Completely disregarding the fact that she put you in deathly peril and deliberately deceived you because she gets off to knights rescuing her
No sense of right and wrong. Ever.

I remember the first campaign I was ever in involved rescueing a princess on behest of our party's rogue/assassin who was the princess's hand-maiden.
As the game wore on, we finally ended up asking the big question, why was a hand maiden trained to be an assassin?
The Princess had actually ran away to join an enemy faction, the 'hand-maiden' was sent to assassinate the traitorous girl and we were just a bunch of stupid adventurers with dreams of fame and heroism caught in this political power-play.

In the end, the would-be assassin defected to join the princess, having had prior history together, and we ended up taking her signet back with a false report that she'd been killed and the 'hand maiden' was also killed in the rescue attempt.

We then skipped country when the ruse was exposed.

>>51113229
I still have no idea ho Brahne ever got laid.
I guess she didn't if you get the true end.

>>51106721
>I wanna cast berserker fury

>>51116822
>gangraping a princess
What the fuck.

Princess actually fled to a third world country to get the epic breast implants she'd been slowly preparing for these last three years. The intense martial training was because she didn't want to have back problems later.

>>51111998
Jesus.

That's pretty good.