What would an ancient Egypt themed game have to involve?

inb4 kangz

>>51069151
Incest.
Bee vibrators.
Kangz.

inb4 furfags

>>51069151
Card games on motorcycles

>>51069151
Mummies
Sand
Pyramids
A river
Khopeshes
Depending on where you want to go storywise, not!Rome
Kangz

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>>51069151
Bread helmets!

>>51069151
There's a giant ass river nearby. You can't really go far from it for very long. Watch out for floods wrecking the entire plot and the PCs plans

>>51069151
Various alien conspiracies are true. Like, all of them, at the same time. Ancient Egypt is a battleground for Greys, Lizardmen, People of Starts and multitude of other factions and people are caught in the crossfire.

>>51069151

Deserts
A Nile analogue
Animal-headed gods
Strong themes of Order vs Chaos
God-kings
Priests and huge temple-complexes
Technomancy, and magic in the form of talismans

The Nile. The desert.

Those are two constants in an Egypt game, no matter how far in the past, or how far in the future.

>>51069151
Desert background
Half naked to nearly naked people with beach style erotic fashion sense.
Amazing large architectures
Cults and wandering warrior tribes
Lots of undeads and traps in abandoned tombs.
Secret organizations planning on conquering the region and later the world.

Magical girls and anime.

pyramids project a magical field that alters time

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>>51069151
Goa'ulds shol'va.

>>51069151
Crocodile

>>51069151
Remember people drank more beer than water.

>>51069151
Badass chariot wars with Nubia

>>51069729
Faggot pls.

Bast cannot have egypt without bast

Settra

>>51069151
Psychic God-Kings killing people with their stands
Tiddies
Lawful good final destination

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>>51069151

sub saharians

>>51069893
WE

>>51069893
Funny.

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>>51069151
Black kings.

>>51069536
The pyramids however have nothing to do with the alien battles and really are just elaborate royal tombs.
The sphinx is totally an alien tho

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>>51069916
are the crystal gems

>>51069999
>tumblr: the animation
Fuck off

>>51069893
That image is a really solid argument in favor of eugenics.

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>>51069151
Undead.

>>51069992
But who won those war?

>>51069151
A Children's Card Game.

>>51070145
>old, used, and dried up
No thank you. Fishcunt best girl!

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>>51070157
>dried up
You just need to refill.

>>51070017
Facebook just attracts retards of every race and /pol/ love to cherrypick

>>51070195
One good way to spot retards in real life is seeing if he bought up any /pol/ or tumblr garbage.
Both are imaginary mockery fiction designed for attention whoring and only idiots believe them.

Egypt

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Fashion

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>>51069151
Brown catgirls.

>>51069151
Doctors
Scheming
Secrets
A woman seducing her way out of a punishment and coming out on top

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>>51069536
Nothing to Jaffa Kree about

>>51069151
Wincest.

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>>51069893
>black people could hear and see for miles, were giants, kangz, ruled the world, and had magic
>africa today

What the fuck happened?

More godly homosexuality than you would initially expect.

>>51069151
8 parts of human soul

magic frog god that influences the world with repeating numbers

>>51070005
For fucks sake steven universe is not tumblr tumblr just deluded themselves into thinking it was.
Except beach city drift that episode was blatently tumblr.
Its possible there have been some more tumblr episodes since i have not watched it in a while

>>51069893
You do realise that most giant-believers are white Christian Americans?

>muh NEPHILIM
>THA BIBBBLE WAZ RIGT ALL ALONG

>>51070548
White people.
Duh!

>>51069151
Denial
Slavery
KANGZ
Incest
Shitty lives.
Probably some Egyptian myth

K O P E S H

O

P

E

S

H

>>51070157
Fortune=Valentine>Peacock>Everyone else

>>51071331
Mah nigga.

>>51069151
Don't forget include a very real afterlife world and hugry hugry crocohippo who LOVES eating sinners hearts

>>51070548
man that donkey sure has had enough of this shit

>>51071020
You come across like you're stretching hard to find parity so you don't feel racist for thinking the pictured are morons.

Don't suppose any amateur -or professional- Egyptologists can tell us about Egyptian magic? It's occured to me I basically know nothing about that aspect of their mythology.

>>51070253
Well, yeah. But every setting should have those.

>>51070548
Yakub created whites.

>>51069151
>What would an ancient Egypt themed game have to involve?
Basically a late copper age civilization hanging around bronze and early iron age ones.

>>51070647
No one cared about Kek back when he was part of the Egyptian pantheon. He only does so well now because all the other old gods (except Moloch, of course) are still sleeping.

Chariots.

Chariots are cool.

>>51070241
>male bikini

The Pharao was a trap.

A ruling class that is of different ethnicity than the people's class.
A ruler that is divine
One big important river

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>>51071670
Kek a shit.

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>>51070253
And brown awooo

>>51071733

Female pharaohs were traditionally reverse traps. Hatshepsut who was a very powerful female pharaoh (technically regent but she decided she'd just take the full title) depicted herself as a man in art to reinforce her status as a ruler.

>>51071303
Back to your containment thread /sos/.

>>51069151
The same as every other game, but set in Ancient Egypt. It's tht simple

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>>51071755

>>51071757
Female Pharaoh mostky happen when shit happened and the dynasty was about to disappear. Then dynasties truly disappeared just after thoses cases.

yu̶g̶i̶o̶h̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶d̶s̶

Undead, chariot races, slavery and a big golden box that steals your soul if you open it (or simply put, artifacts).

>>51071792

Duels using ANCIENT EGYPTIAN LASER BEAMS

>>51069729
Theres a magical girl anime about egypt stuff?

>>51071879
Isn't there a Medjeb anime planned this year ?

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>>51070253
>>51071755
Now we're talking

>>51071854
Duels using ANCIENT EGYPTIAN STANDO

>>51071889
>Medjeb
Never heard of it

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>>51071762
Fine, but you'll come back for me, the ring of steel in your ears and the murmured sweet nothings of the kopesh upon your pillow. Driven mad by your unobtainable desires. And I'll welcome you with open arms and whisper "beat the blade, hook the leg".

What foods would you include in your fantasy Egypt?

>>51072015
Hang on, you're supposed to stab a fucker with a khopesh I thought, not use it as a hook.

>>51072040
lentils

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Ptah/Wojack, and Kek, Lord of Slaadi Why the fuck do you think green Slaadi are made from wizards, and Black Slaadi, their final form, are pure darkness?

>>51071539
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Egyptian_religion#Magic

>>51072040
Lentil, plain bread, milk, fish, beer, beef, pork and fruits for the wealthy (and the builders of the Pyramids).

>>51072051

Kek and Keket. Sadly no Jej and Jejet in the Ogdoad.

>>51072040
A kopesh is a cutting weapon you tool. Look at that fucker in the image there and tell me you're supposed to stab someone with it.

>>51069151
If done by /tg/?
Fuckload of shitty-ass memes, obviously.

The Ptolemaic dynasty

>>51069151

From the players perspective, a bazaar.

Assuming the players are coming from a non-Ancient-Egypt-themed place, the first place they arrive in town will be a busy marketplace. Sensory details include a lot of people shouting, and the smell of spices mixed with the smell of animals. Try to include both "camels" and "horses," or the setting equivalent. One animal able to go long distances without water, and one fast animal for desert bandits and other warriors in a hurry. If your players are local, "you all meet at the bazaar" functions like a tavern as there are usually drinks someplace and people looking to hire others for a job.

Try to foreshadow a bit here. If you are including an ancient Egyptian princess like in your picture or an even an evil reincarnated priestess, add some veiled "dancing girls" to the bazaar so your players know what's up. If they are going to have rivals in exploring the ruins, have the rivals show up in the bazaar at some point. If there are going to be bandits, have a few "black turbans" in the crowd watching the players.

>If there are going to be "bugs," and there should be, have a few buzzing around the animals at the stall. "Biting flies" are a common enough problem that you may want to do a roll to see what players are bitten. This is good foreshadowing, but the thing about "biting flies" is "malaria." Insects in settings like this can carry a host of diseases, but it is too soon to include something like this.

Once they get on the road, scorpions and giant scorpions can become an issue. One important thing for an ancient Egyptian theme is scarabs, to the players "flesh eating scarabs." There's not as much precedent for giant beetles, so you should probably use a swarm instead. Roll a random encounter table to determine which "sand storms" are actually just sand and not plague locusts or something.

Once you get from marketplace to lost ruins, expect rival factions, traps, and "guardians."

>>51071939
Minor god who become a mem in Japan after an expo.
He looks like a ghost (aka a white sheet with eyes and feet).

>>51072247

>the smell of spices mixed with the smell of animals
SPICE MUST FLOW

Reminder that all the Egyptian gods had male and female manifestations, so dickgirls would definitely be a thing.

>>51071750
>A ruling class that is of different ethnicity than the people's class.
Nubia only held Egypt for a very short time. Less than a century. After and before that they were all Berbers, both the people and the rulers.

Later Hellenistic Egypt is also not what most think of when they imagine Ancient Egypt. Nor is Islamic Egypt, so they aren't worth talking about.

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>>51070253
>>51071755
>>51071895
Somebody said delicious brown Egyptian girls?

>>51069151
Temples must play an important role, they have their own land, their own labor.

Different cities will have different pantheons. It's not like the other gods are false or something, but in your opinion these other guys got it wrong who created the world or who you really should worship.

Dwarves. Not fantasy dwarves, but midgets. You get a lot of depictions of midgets, sometimes creating goldwork. There was a pharao that instructed one of his generals that when he gets to nubia for slaves he really needs to bring him a midget, because he loves these small endearing creatures so much. There was also a high-ranking official that was a midget, which scored himself some prime egyptian wife.

>>51072247

Keep in mind that the "guardians" could also be humans who have kept the ruins safe from outsiders for generations.

There is probably something big and bad in those ruins that the players are going to "wake up." That's par for the course in these adventures, but you can see how a "real person" might think it is a "bad idea" to do in their "world." Depending on your players, it might be a good idea for a rival faction to do the actual "waking up the ancient evil." This makes it easier for the players to ally with the guardians to save the world.

Alternately, a lot of traps in these old temples are for grave robbers, designed to temp and trap the greedy. If your players fall into too many of these traps without learning their lesson, the big bad is your last chance to convince them to change their thieving ways. A good rule of thumb, if your players are high-level enough that a prophecy about their arrival in hieroglyphics doesn't seem far fetched, let them put down the ancient evil. Guardian allies are mostly for lower level adventurers who need the help, and at higher levels true rivals are hard to come by.

You'll have to decide if the "rivals" are the true villains, minions of the true villain, or if the ancient evil buried in the temple is the main villain. All three can work and have worked in the past. Review your campaign notes, and try to play things by ear, or at least listen to your players. If the villain your players have been fighting over the campaign is just a misguided extremist or has enough sympathy for a heel-face turn, the ancient evil might actually be the truly evil one. A lot of mummies are basically just liches with more bandages on their undead army, but mummification is normally for high ranking officials who go with the pharaoh in the after life. An evil vizier or perhaps even a cunning courtesan could be deceptively effective once unleashed on the modern world. If the players are too busy fighting the pharaoh...

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>>51072272

>>51072290
>so they aren't worth talking about.

And yet Cleopatra is one of the names people think of when Egypt is mentioned despite her being an inbred Greek. Although to her credit she was one of the only members of her dynasty to speak Egyptian and certainly the only queen of her dynasty to do so.

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>>51072346
DELICIOUS BROWN EGYPTIAN GIRLS?

>>51072247
>no president for giant beetles
KheprI dissagrees, but he's a total bro

>>51072495
Because of pop culture. People don't know what Hellenistic Egypt even was.

>>51072529
It gots better - people think that Egypt didn't pretty much cease to exist after times of Ramseses (or whatever is the English plural) and remained the same fucking culture, ruled by locals, up until times of Romans took over.
Hell, most people don't even know that Cleopatra was Cleopatra the SEVENTH

>>51072442
BAST AND HATHOR TITS

HORUS, SETH, SET'S AMAZING GAY FURRY ASSES.

NUBILE YOUNG BROWN EGYPTIAN BOYS IN LOINCLOTHS

JACKAL LOLIS


WORSHOP THEEGYPTIAN FAITH AND EARN YOUR AFTERLIFE BECAUSE FREE TICKETS ARE FOR CASUALS, THAT'S RIGHT, WE PU TYOU IN DARK SOULS IF YOU WANT INTO OUR AWESOME SUPER SECRET FURRY TRAP LOLI THICC BISEXUAL EXTRAVGANZA SEX CLUB.

IF YOU FAIL YOU GET VORED, OR YOU SUCC SET'S BBC FOREVER.

>>51072499

I wonder what Nefertiti would think of today's pop culture interpretations of her. She'd probably be okay with sex considering the decadence in Egyptian courts, but she'd probably be really weirded out by the art styles.

>>51072529
>Because of pop culture.
I think this is what this thread is running on.

Kangz

>>51072114
To be more precise, only peasants ate pork (as pigs were some of the most despised animals), and even though nobles often ate fish, the pharaohs and priesthood didn't as it was also considered to be unclean food.

>>51072561
Egypt really hated progress as far as I can tell, nobody dare say they had bad art it's the tradition, we got a brief stint of an attempty at realism but that was vetoed with his legacy and his attempt at monotheism

>>51072578
Odd as both are quite nutritous meats

>>51072578
To be fair, eating pork in a really hot country isn't the best.

>>51072640
What's the catch?

>>51070585
To be fair that's true for most parts of history.

>>51072606

In general Egyptian culture strove for consistency, although there was naturally a lot of religious and social drifting over the 3-4000 years people were maintaining the culture. During the Intermediate periods there was usually a huge influx of "new" cultural values, often personified in a foreign influence/rulership, such as the various foreign dynasties that briefly or not so briefly ruled. But after that, each of the reformations at least TRIED to return to what was "proper" (IE the Middle and New Kingdoms).

The Amarna period was certainly an oddity in that sense, since Akhenaten just seems to have up and decided to change everything around by his own accord.

He still did the same sex stuff as previous dynasties, though. He possibly married his daughter and had kids with her, and there was generally a lot of incest in the 18th dynasty.

>>51072667
I remember the Greeks thought that male gods could give birth because a god of men is better at everything then women, and they thought the woman provided nothing but a vessel for the man's seed, Greeks in general seemed to think of women as a bothersome necessity at best at times

>>51072680
Well nobody knew about inbreeding and it seemed the best way to keep a line clean

Which of the Egyptian gods would you put in your settings?

>>51072663
Very dangerous if you don't prepare it very well.
Full of bacteria and parasites.

Some believe it's the reason the jew started to forbid it.

>>51071518
No no, I'm not trying to find parity.

I am fully aware that the amount of retarded tinfoil /x/ whities vastly outnumber the retarded tinfoil /x/ blackies.

>>51069744
I know Small Gods is one of his best works, but Pyramids deserves some love too

>>51072663
Food poisoning and/or parasites
Which is, however, negligible because meat was either prepared and eaten immediately after slaughter or cured.

>>51072663
It dehydrates you very quickly.

>>51072619
Pork is full of disease and parasites so without modern cooking methods it's dangerous to eat.

Fish just tastes and smells disgusting.

>>51072680
Basically, Egyptian history is a perfect example why conservatism is a shit political ideology.

One day, someone else will come along and kick your stagnant shit in.

>>51072663
Turns you into a fat human pig.

>>51072247
This sounds like Arabian Egypt, not actual Egypt. Nobody wants to do the same old song and dance you have EVERYWHERE in the Middle East after the spread of Islam if they're setting their game specifically in an Ancient Egyptian setting. They want something unique to that place.

>>51072272
No it doesn't. They only ever manifested as one or the other.

>>51072663
>>51072714
not to mention pigs need lots of water and when you are a desert tribe only a cruel or wasteful person would raise pigs when that amount of water could be used for several times more people and animals

>>51072786

It happened repeatedly too, and each time the Egyptians were necessitated to make changes to their culture in order to survive. The adoption of the wheel and developing chariots is one example which changed their warfare. Large-scale employment of foreign mercenaries was another (which later probably bit them in the ass). It's a miracle that they managed to maintain the kind of influence they did over northern africa and the Levant even when more forward-thinking empires like the Hittites arose.

>>51072700
>Well nobody knew about inbreeding and it seemed the best way to keep a line clean

Pretty much, and I guess they just never figured out that deformed children and stillborn births were a sign of something wrong. Or rather they probably did but just assumed some god was angry.

>Which of the Egyptian gods would you put in your settings?

Amun-Re (or whatever you want to call him), Isis, Osiris, Seth, Horus, Bastet, Sekhmet, Neith, Ptah (or possibly Knhum if you're a southerner), Nephtys, Bes... This is turning into the Prince of Egypt song.

>>51072499
>lass (lad)

>>51072700
>Which of the Egyptian gods would you put in your settings?
I can't decide if I would use pop culture and make Anubis way more significant than he actually was or stick to a more accurate portrayal and be mentioned in passing in embalming.

>>51072663
You get killed by Muslims.

>>51072727
You'd be surprised

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9SiRNibD14

>>51069916
WUZ

>>51072680
There's was nothing special about the 18th dynasty regarding incest, it was widely practiced by the royal families for thousands of years and even foreign rulers adopted the practice as their wanted to appear more godlike to their newly conqured subjects. The 18th dynasty is just the most well understood dynasty; details of the family dynamics of the other royal dynasties are less well known. In fact ancient Egypt is one of the most notorious examples of societies where incest was practiced among commoners and wasn't taboo.

>>51073134
>There's was nothing special about the 18th dynasty regarding incest,

That's what I meant. While Akhenaten certainly performed a lot of large-scale reforms (or tried to), he was still sticking by the tried and true when it came to courtly life. He just moved the whole thing out to Amarna.

>>51072989
>He doesn't like magical lass neferty's fighting anus

>>51073048
I'm watching the death of thinking.

Holy fucking shit.

>>51073158
>not sure if puffy or bulge

>>51072975
Note that inbreeding can be ignored easily when children mortality is high anyway.

If 4 out of 5 children die anyway, how do you know yous die because you fucked with your daughter.

Even modern nobles continued marrying cousin anyway.
I think the most important factor is the fact you want to marry with some one of the same rank, for pharaoh, it's only the family (even if there was slaves too probably).

>>51073048
You really don't know much about conspiracy freaks and religious nutters, do you?

Believe me, there are more crazy white people out there than crazy black people.

>>51073058
KANGZ

>>51073285
>You really don't know much about retards on the internet, do you?
>Believe me, there are more retarded white people shitting up the internet in languages you understand than retarded black people.

>>51069729
>Magical swole boys that hunt vampires
fixed it

>>51071499
it's a donkey

>>51069151
Tiddies

>>51069893
What are those "stairs"?

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>>51069151
One obvious and unpopular terrain

>>51073474
AN

>>51073195
Does it matter?

>>51073657
SHEIT

>>51073657
BOONGAZ

>>51069893
>since wewe're all awake in here

>>51071545
A game with the Yakub mythology an sheit would be fun.

>>51072040
You slash with a khopesh, but the whole point of the hook is pulling down shields.
Some bright mind wanted a sword's versatility and an ax's ability to pull down shields.
But they failed. That unbalanced shit might as well be scrap metal.

>>51073613
You think about Cretans

>>51069893
>we wuz giants an sheit!
>we had psychic powers and flew across the planet in giant magic pyramids!
>truest we are the master race!

I never got this shit. I understand that these people are probably just stupid and reaching for some way to feel superior in the same way stormfront fags do, but think about this for a second.

If you were a society of thirty foot tall, psychic, technologically superior Nubian god kings, you STILL for your asses plowed into oblivion by six foot white guys with sharp poles.

This is not a theory to be proud of.

>ctrl+f cats
>no results
egyptians basically domesticated cats
they were saced to them
fucking bastet, even

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>>51074106
>fucking bastet, even

>>51074092
Because they forgot how to turn poop into wine.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b74_QhTCSH8

>>51074092
It's an US American thing. That''s really all you Need to know to understand it.

>>51072700
I love Khepri, there is just something oddly enderring about a big beetle guarding the sun at night time while Ra fights apep

>>51069181
Card games on motorcycles?

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>>51074106
>he didn't ctrl-f Bastet

>>51072877

>Yeah, ideally they'd start out in a museum where an actual Egyptologist, voiced by GM, gives an hour long lecture on ancient Egypt.

On the off chance OP is playing "Adventure Ho!" with murder hobos, send them to generic marketplace so Conan-clone can punch out a spitting camel.

>Otherwise, actual Egyptologist becomes their NPC guide to the setting. They arrive at the Egyptian seaport, tour some authentic Egyptian cities, ride the Nile river closer to their destination. Usually the only places where adventure happens are "newly discovered tombs" lost for centuries.

Whether new clues to its location or uncovered by earthquake, this is so cinematic GMs and Hollywood don't have to worry about historical accuracy. Really mummies are a little "dry," and they don't do much besides sit in their coffins. Players usually want a little more adventure than that, so skip the museum go to the market, fight bandits, fight monsters, explore ruins, fight guarians, dodge traps, fight monster, divide the loot between adventurers and "the museum."

>Seriously, there's some stuff you donate to a museum because it is cursed, and you don't even want to try reading what is written on it.

Adventure hooks, but try not to look directly at it and wear gloves while you're putting it in the "donation box" and nailing the lid shut.

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>>51069151
Ridiculously long royal titles and incest (I know you wanted to go there Terry).

>>51069151
End boss would be the sea people, of course.

Get seduced by a goddess because you have been faithful.

She then transforms herself into a male form and gives you your reward up the butt

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>>51075367

Religions that are club houses for gobs

>>51075438
Goblin illuminati controlling the world's religions confirmed.
Creation was an inside job.

>>51072786
This happens to all cultures, no matter how preservative they are.

All casters must masturbate to do spells.

>>51072727
Either filled with intense self loathing, or a bonafide kang is in our presence.

>>51075068
What kind of fucking posting style is this? I can't understand what you're addressing.

>>51074278
Card games on motorcycles

>>51075633
I think he was assuming a modern setting for Egyptian Adventures.

>>51074278
In the shadow realm mang.

>>51074275
>go 'way!
>is my sun!
>you can't have
>keep toasty toasty warm!
>my sun is best sun
>stop trying take sun
>gotta move move move across sky now
>going now!
>don't try take sun
>okay bye now

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>>51072989

>>51069165
>Bee vibrators.
that has no historical basis (I spent more time than I care to admit researching this)

>>51076683
I'D be fine with that too, but the comic features horse cocks.

>>51076742
That's most certainly a legend, and it's very anachronistic, too much to even consider plausibility.

>>51075263
>I know you wanted to go there Terry
there was an incest joke in the book, he did go there

>>51076848
Yeah but for most of the book it seemed like the main character would end up banging/marrying his sister.

>>51070331
Damn, Apophis was the best evil worm in the series.

>>51073617
It's an escalator for horses with chariots and wagons.

>>51072578
So the Egyptians were Jews?

>>51072714
Nah. Ritual cleanliness really isn't the same thing as hygiene. The germ theory of disease wasn't developed until much later. Would you argue that the prohibitions against clothing of mixed fibers and against goat meat mixed with milk were cleanliness ones as well? No. These prohibitions are primarily a religious matter and about not worshipping pagan gods. Keep in mind that the Jewish bible largely consisted of conservative monotheist nationalists who were preaching to the illiterate pagan peasant Canaanites.

Black people

>>51077380
Apophis is an interesting piece of Mythology

As a god it was prayed against instead of to, any images of it always had to also contain another god to mitigate the risk of giving it more power, small models of it were frequently made just to be spat on and generally abused, and priests handed out booklets on fighting Apophis when you got to the afterlife

>>51069999
fucking kill yourself

>>51069151
numidians?

>>51072499
>>51072346
send me source

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>>51069802

>>51073285
>Believe me, there are more crazy white people out there than crazy black people.
In the West maybe. And likely in raw number due to whites being the majority population. I'd wager the ratio is the same.

>>51073799
I don't know, for the time it's a acceptable blend of axe and sword.
sure it's not a kopis or a Falx but what are you going to do.

>>51074092
they're Americans try not to think about it too much

>>51073579
>Magical sissy boys that get fucked by monsters

Fixed again

>>51069151
Black people.

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>>51078192

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>>51078216

>>51074092
What's funny is, they're not even descended from nubians

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>>51078234

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>>51078212
joke the century

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>>51078279

>>51072247
>>51075068
>camels
>in ancient egypt

Reminder that camels weren't regularly used in egypt during BC years

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>>51078212
t. Alberto Barbosa

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>>51078417

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>>51078561
my personal favorite. Games gotta have bird women

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>>51078591

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>>51078633

>>51078444
Forgive my ignorance on this but were there Bedouin nomads in Egypt back then? If so what were they using?

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>>51078658
Not ancient Egypt, more like, post apoc egypt

>>51070257
I used to like those books when I was 13.

>>51078633
Someday, in some game, tabletop or otherwise, I will marry a sphinx and defend her temple/territory. I find then really atractive and normally they have human level intelligence. They are like fluffy dragons.

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>>51078720
Ancient Egypt is in part, all about godlike, colossal structures built by the blood of ten thousand conscripted farmers

>>51078830
Mating with mythical creatures and defending them against rampaging armies is why man created tabletop. May you find success on your journey anon. Especially in ten years when VR lets you get away with the most ridiculous shit

>>51078885
Boy that picture takes me back.
Can I please go back?

>>51078659
I don't think there were bedouins in egypt back then

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>>51079290
Then we have an opening for a quest hook in this sort of setting.

Can you help Crazy Hassan introduce these magnificent creatures to the people?

>>51079374
Sounds great.
Traveling the desert was particularly hard back then because they didn't have camels

>>51072247
What about domesticated giant scarabs, that are trained and bread to be docile beasts of burden, as well as dealing with issues like sanitation, with carapaces that range from deep shining blue to rich purple color.
There's something about big domesticated bugs that I really like.

>>51074092
It's the same shit as the Turks that think that humanity started in Turkey, or the Serbs that believe there's an ancient crystal pyramid buried in Serbia that contains mystical Serb power.

People believe retarded shit.

>>51078279
>>51078417
fluffy kitty cats

>>51078885
Actually, building structures for the Pharao gave common people in ancient Egypt tax reductions.

It wasn't like the retarded jew tales at all.

>>51079488
>or the Serbs that believe there's an ancient crystal pyramid buried in Serbia that contains mystical Serb power.
Wait, what?

>>51079409
Well you can have them now! Just come on down to Craaaaazy Hassan's Used Camel Emporium! I tell you that we have the camel for you!

>>51079527
Slaves dont pay tax, and thus dont benefit from Tax reductions.

Although I dont think the bible every said that the Jews were set to building pyramids, just building in general. We also know that the Pyramids werent made of the clay bricks the Israelites were said to be making

>>51079527
They also fed the workers like kings so they'd get and stay swole and content. Also, monument building generally happened in the off season where the farmers didn't have much to do.

>>51070152
no one
because theyre still fighting

>>51079617
Or we can ask the archaeologists and historians instead of the bible and discover that the whole Jewish enslavement thing was bullshit.

>>51079617
Peasants were used because during the Nile flood they didn't have a lot to do.
Fucking pharaohs ruining my vacation i fuckin swear m8

>>51079617
Slaves in Egypt are Jewish fiction and fairytales.

>>51077380
>implying the best wasn't Baal

Remember that according to Herodotus, the Egyptians were the only people who MASTERED the art of having sex with crocodiles.

>>51080027
Why was Herodotus such a dumb gullible housewife?

>>51079541

>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bosnian_pyramid_claims

The tldr version is that there's an ancient-astronauts-tier nutjob from Yugoslavia who keeps claiming that a series of hills in Bosnia (that are very obviously just hills) are actually giant pyramids that outdate the ones in Egypt and Mesopotamia. He's been proven wrong repeatedly but he keeps making the claim and using it to support a narrative that Bosnians created civilization and spread it around the world.

So yeah, to continue what the original anon was saying, pretty much every ethnic/cultural group has their own brand of pseudohistory and pseudoarchaeology that says they're the best and everything important that humanity has ever done descends from them. Just as you have Afrocentrist lunatics claiming that everyone from the ancient Egyptians to the Shang Chinese to the Olmecs to Charlemagne was actually black, you also have Eurocentrist lunatics/white supremacists claiming that everyone from the ancient Egyptians to the ancient Ethiopians to the builders of Great Zimbabwe to the twelve-foot race of giants that ruled over the pre-Columbian Americas were white.

As long as that stuff stays in the fringe where it belongs I think it's actually kind of fun. I would love to play games set in some of the worlds from these people's delusions.

>>51080192
Too high class to hang around with the common folk like sailors, so when he got curious and started asking travelers what foreign lands were like, he didn't understand that they told him tales specifically meant to be humorous/fool settled people/make him look stupid.

>>51080255
>Bosnia
Bosnians are Muslims.

>>51080255
The problem is that the kangs and kweens crowd has actual purchase and 'credibility' in American pop culture and media because people are too pissant to want to contradict them and be seen as 'racist'.

>>51080303
>Implying there is any difference between serbians and bosnians other than butthurt

>>51080396
If you convert to Islam you give up any claim you can make to being white or European.

>>51079617
>>51079782
>>51079903
There may have been slaves but they were not used on grand construction projects.

Also could have been an exaggeration of increased taxation or being forced to work the land of others.

>>51080255
>the ancient Egyptians to the ancient Ethiopians... were white
Depends on your definition. The ancient Egyptians are related to the Berbers who live in North Africa today, and they are caucasoid, most closely related to other North Africans, Middle Easterners, Indo-Aryans, and Europeans.

Ancient Ethiopia is a bit more of a mess and depends on when you look at it. The most ancient Ethiopia likely contained Somalids, like the rest of the Horn, and tests have been done on those to show that they're (Somalids) more closely related to Caucasoids than they are Sub-Saharan Africans. The thinking is that they split off from the ancestors of Caucasoid populations very early on, before lighter skin and softer hair evolved, but after the facial structure had (if you look at the people in somewhere like Somalia today, most of them have flatter, thinner faces and narrow noses like Caucasoids have) and thus they generally get lumped in there with them.

Now, back to Ethiopia, it was later invaded by the Bantu migrations. If you don't know that those are, it's when the native people of West Africa decided to invade all of Africa they could get to (which was most sub-saharan africa) and genocide the natives living there, replacing them with their own. Bantu-descended people are what you normally think of when you think of Africans.) Basically, they couldn't make it beyond Ethiopia, but they did make it there. As a consequences, Ethiopia became pretty Bantu for a while. But then even later, a back migration of Arabs came, and their men breed with the Bantu women there. The end result is that Ethiopia has a ton of ethnicities, but the end result is that 62% of the blood of the two largest ethnicities (who are coincidentally 61% of the population) is Caucasoid of Somalid and Arab type. So you wouldn't call them white even if you conflated that with 'Caucasoid', but when you start talking about minority ethnicities like the Somalids in Ethiopia, you could.

>>51078272
Yeah, if they want to claim a kingdom, their best shot is Mali.

>>51070990
kys

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>>51069151
There was a previous thread with good results, but I'm not finding it on the archives.

What I remember is that religion and government are one and the same, the priesthood is also the bureocraucy, taxes are the pharaoh's due etc.

The civilization is very stable and long-lived, but the temples enforce a estagnation in arts and general culture.

Delicious brown catgirls are actually fitting, as Bastet was a goddess of joy, music, dance, motherhood and love. They would be bards, courtesans and wives of the favoured ones.

Actual egyptian clothing was often skimpier than many current pop depictions. Some long dresses let the breasts bare and were see through.

Someone thought of a dark umber hulk that gathered up waste to burrow and feed its larvae. You could find one rolling a huge fetid ball of assorted nastiness down the street, and the locals are going to defend it if you attack their valuable pet.

There were also some links I got:
http://www.reshafim.org.il/ad/egypt/index.html

http://anthropology.msu.edu/anp455-fs14/2014/10/23/ancient-egyptian-sexuality/

http://luwianstudies.org/bronze-age/egypt/

>>51081110
>What I remember is that religion and government are one and the same, the priesthood is also the bureocraucy, taxes are the pharaoh's due etc.
Well that explains a lot. I've heard it mentioned often that the Egyptian priesthoods were immensely powerful, but I wasn't quite sure why. It reminds me strongly of the Chinese bureaucrats, who were the servants of the Emperor, who was the Son of Heaven.

>>51074275
>Ra fights Apep
I was under the impression Ras bodyguard/bitch Set (Seth) fought Apep (Apophis) during the journey through the underworld.

Something about Set being the only one immune to the serpents hypnotic stare.

Which reminds me; if Norse and Egyptian styled culture lived in the same fantasy world Apophis and Jormungandr would likely be two names for the same god killing serpent. Hell, with a little modification you could have it be the Typhon too.

>>51081593
the Serpent was also one of the forms Geb took

>>51069151
I ran a game once where pagan gods left Earth and took thousands of people with them (may or may not have happened after watching Stargate), and each pantheon founded a new civilization in their own star systems. The system of Egypt was comprised of planets arranged at the Lagrange points of the same orbit, each one a carefully sculpted paradise. The souls of the righteous dead went to the Sun, to fuse with Ra in a divine collective of wisdom and experience that could be tapped into by the Pharaohs. Their bodies were mummified and fused with divine technology to become undead magic cyborg super soldiers that wait in the orbital pyramids to come to the realm's aid. The cowardly and criminal were cast out into the void to feed Sobek the cosmic crocodile, who patrolled the system's outer reaches against foreign danger.

>>51069158
the unfortunate truth is that blacks and the msm are going to force this into everyone's face every time the egyptians are mentioned anywhere until some historian brings up hard evidence proving that they are incorrect.

>>51072495
Most people who can only name Cleopatra also don't know that she was from an hellenic dynasty.

>>51082251
Wasn´t she the only one of that dynasty that bothered to learn her peoples language?

>>51082206
>evidence against it
Such as? Daily reminder that limp-dicked white boys can't PROVE the Egyptians weren't black.

>>51069151
>You want to sit in the taverns, surrounded by prostitutes. You want to become tender and enjoy yourself, you tarry with the girls and are bathed in oil, a garland of herbs around your neck, and you are drumming your belly.
Definitely a questline involving an exasperated scribe hiring you to drag his wild, drunken students back to him from all across Upper and Lower Egypt.

>>51082366
the coptic egyptians have been there for thousands of years and are the native population, they are kind of white, and they are definitely not black.

>>51078279
>those guys kneeling before that sphinx

So what exactly do they get out of the deal? Is it just "she doesn't eat them," or...?

>>51069492
The Nile was extremely easy to calculate flooding for though. Basically no one dies because it will always flood at the same time in the same way every year.

>>51069893
wait. if they were giants, how did they fit inside the pyramids?

>>51083375
Obviously they were magical giants who could shrink.

>>51069999
Nice get, but wrong board.

>>51073617

looks like they could be places for stalls in a tiered marketplace

or maybe an amphitheater

>>51077515
>So the Egyptians were Jews?
There's the theory that Moses and Akhenaten were the same person.

>>51082366
Genetic studies on bones from Ancient Egyptians show them to be most closely related to Berbers and other native North African people. So, yes, we can prove the Egyptians weren't black.

>>51077849
One of them is by Pish Lover, I'm sure you can find it.

>>51069916
ARE NUMBER ONE

>>51085881
HEY!

>>51071020
You sound so assblasted

Also I highly doubt that. America's religiosity wanes with each passing year. I'm sure somewhere like indonesia, Brazil or Nigeria has us beat in Giant worship anyway

But yeah, stay salty as all fuck

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>>51071545
So what exactly are whites good at?

Blacks are the all around jack-of-all stats race who can be built into any play style though excel with slight bonuses to music

Asians are the intelligent race with bonuses to sneak and single edged weapons

Middle Easterners have bonuses to magic, alchemy and numbers with bonuses to sneak/steal and curved swords

Natives are good trackers, make excellent rangers with proficient usage of bows thanks to bonuses

Hispanics have a boost to charisma and speech checks

What are white people?

>>51085993
>What are white people?
The race that forces all the others to do what they want at sword-, spear- or gunpoint.

>>51085993
White people are similar to Asians with a boost to Intelligence but with bonuses to diplomacy and halberds. The Imperial race with a widespread territory and high technology/organization.

>>51085993
White people generally excel at strength sports and swimming competitions.

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>>51069151
Grain Storage.

>>51085993
The ones who kick their asses despite all this.

>>51086030
>>51086034
So bonus to strength and a bonus to swim checks too, but balance it out with a wisdom penalty representing a tendency to be excessively greedy and a lack of connection to nature.

>>51069151
Weird 2d perspective.

>>51085993
Seafarers, traders, and avid tacticians whose military nous is honed mostly by fighting each other.

>>51085993
we can live in cold places, really good at trading, historically good at building empires and bureaucracy, bonus to thrusting swords, metallurgy, armor, and engineering.

negatives: we live in cold places, we get skin cancer really easily, and if the economy crashes we are completely useless until it gets fixed somehow.

>>51086170
When you put it like that we sound like Piratical Jew-Orcs.

I'm an Englishman, so maybe it just hits home for me.

>>51082306
yep, she also actually demonstrated that she gave a shit about their culture and religious beliefs, which made her rather popular

>DURR WE WUZ
I want /pol/ to just fuck off and die. They shit up every thread.

>>51077849
>sauce literally spelled out in the image
Anon, are you retarded?

>>51085948
>implying brazilians are black
>implying indonesians are black

Are you retarded? Oh wait, I'm sorry. You're a /pol/cuck. Of course you're retarded. Kek.

>>51087138
/pol/ does not need to come anymore. They memes have infected us, if we mean it or not.

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I know these guys are Aztec but throw em in anyways

>>51087349
>Brazilians
Brazilians actually are mostly blacks and mulattoes, so he was right there.

>Indonesians
He's very wrong there, though. They're mostly Austronesians and Asians. Generally fairly mixed between the two. Maybe he was confusing them with Papua New Guinea? Which is full of Melanasians who are also not black, but who have a close resemblance so it's hard to blame him for the conflation.

>>51086926
That seems a pretty negative way to frame it, but essentially yes.

Piratical Jew-Orcs with a long philosophical tradition whose travels and wealth let them discover more and more ways to make piles of money.

>>51073285
Idiocy transcends race, an insidiously pervasive affliction.

>>51087349
Cute, you moved on to this thread when you were blown the fuck out in the last one.

REMINDER THAT ANCIENT EGYPTIAN RULERS WERE CAUCASIAN, AS HAS BEEN PROVEN BY GENETIC RESEARCH.

>>51087475
Which thread're you talking about?

That said, it depends on your definition of Caucasian, but they 100% were Caucasoid, genetics tests have shown this. If he's arguing that they're not, then he's probably just trolling.

>>51087475
Not all of them, you dumbfuck, learn history. The Kushite rulers were black.

>>51087437
>Brazilians actually are mostly blacks and mulattoes, so he was right there.
You mean, mostly native americans and spanish.

>>51087499
It's ironic how /pol/cucks are quick to claim Egypt as "white" yet when people discuss ISIS and the Middle-East being a fucking shitheap of retarded religious crazies, the North-Africans and Arabs suddenly no longer count as white.

>>51087970
Not the same times. you know things changes since antiquity right ? Even DURING antiquity.

>>51087970
>>Brazilians actually are mostly blacks and mulattoes, so he was right there.
>You mean, mostly native americans and spanish.
Brazil was a massive slaver nation, the number of African/african descended slaves was higher than the amount of Iberian Portugese owners by far

>>51082366
Except all the evidence that proves it.

>>51086947
Did she? Still find it a shame that she lost. She sounds like an all around awesome and beloved ruler.

>>51088187
Are people just so focused on the 100 years or so of nubian rule that the forget about the over 3000 years of the other dynasties?

>>51082366
>PROVE the Egyptians weren't black.
Some of the pharaoh tombs remained robbed until 20th century.

>>51070548

A period of instability that Africa is getting out of

the 90s are over. Ghana, Angola, Gabon are rising. Chad is a regional power. Algeria and Morocco are stable enough to bitch over Azawad and the Western Sahara. South Africa maintains a tough industrial base. Kenya and Tanzania are forming the East African Community. Ethiopia has had enough of Somalia and Eritrea's shit and flexes like no tomorrow. Nigeria pats down the north and flows oil out of the south.

The continent is fine. A few countries in it are not. Boo-hoo. The skyscrapers and highways still rise.

>>51082943
>Coptic Egyptians
So you are saying the descentand of extremely mixed population that was the effect of Roman rule,and before that few different countries conquering, ruling and breeding in Egypt are representative, because they fit your theory?

Ever since the fall of 20th dynasty, Egypt was a non-entity. For next 1000 years it was ruled by foreigners: barbarian tribes, Assirians, Persians, Greeks and then ceased to be a country, integrated into Roman Republic, soon after Empire. Where it remained for next 600 years.
You seriously assume any kind of "native" stock survived in one of the most cosmopolitan regions of the ancient world?

And here is a clue - Copts don't match genetically any of the mummified remains. They instead match Greeks.
Rings you any bells?

>>51088263
While I agree with your post, this part:
>South Africa maintains a tough industrial base
Is not exactly true. SA is progressively getting worse and worse over past 20 years, while the industry is shrinking.

>>51088263
I am genuinely optimistic about Africa's prospects. So long as they can fend off China until it implodes in the next ~50 years they should be in a nice strong position.

So long as they don't go full Boko Haram.

Of course last time I was feeling optimistic about this sort of thing Zimbabwe happened not long after and ruined everything for everyone.

>>51088410
SA is going through a political renaissance. Young (black) people aren't going to vote for ANC because they got rid of apartheid. Young (black) people in SA want a party that actually does something for SA.

>>51087978
Actually when you look at genetic changes in people, almost nothing changes. Common people aren't displaced. Only the rulers and nobility are displaced.

The ancient egyptians are the same egyptians as the modern egyptians.

>>51088443
B-but muh kangz!

>>51088431
And I'm not saying it's not true. I'm just pointing out how fucked up the situation in SA got over the years and in how bad shape is their industry. On the other hand, they are still one of few places that has their own industry, rather than being taken over by Chinese

>>51088443
>The ancient egyptians are the same egyptians as the modern egyptians.
You couldn't be more wrong. Especially after Arab conquest in early medieval.

>>51088532
>>>/pol/
You have to go back. Fuck off.

>>51088541
What the fuck did I just say you goddamn /pol/cuck. Read a fucking history book.

The only things that change when a culture is conquered by another culture, is which people run the society. The common people do not change. Ever.

When the English got German royalty, did the English suddenly become Germans? No. Shut the fuck up you goddamn cocksucking mongoloid wanker cunt.

>>51077380

Thats a funny way to spell Ba'al

>>51077762
Now that is interesting. I will remember this.

>>51088557
>Extensive colonisation effort from between 8 to 12 century didn't happen
You were saying something about educating oneself, right?

>>51088557
>Let's compare change of kings with literal invasion of foreigners
Are you by chance Egyptian butthurt about your Arabic roots or something?

>>51088725
No, I actually read up to date books from the uni library instead of wiki'ing shit.

>>51088761
Yeah, the "up to date", meaning published in the 60s and 70s, long before DNA sequencing became a things.
Deal with it - ancient Egyptians, as a distinctive ethnicity, cease to be a thing around Roman times

Also, you should learn how to use ad homs and how to imply lack of knowledge. Just randomly accusating people doesn't work. You need to first lay groundwork for it.

>>51088557
>If I compare 3000 years of migrations, conquest and changing circumstances with establishment of single dynasty, it will somehow make my example stick or work at all.
Son, you've failed logical reasoning forever.

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>>51088263
>Chad is a regional power
Must be all the squatz and oatz.

>>51088814
>Yeah, the "up to date", meaning published in the 60s and 70s,

You never went to uni, did you? Or are you a fucking Mexican or some shit?

>>51089018
You still didn't get the memo about inefficient ad homs the previous time?

I've got a clue for you. List us all those up-to-date publications that strenghten your arguments. After all, they are abundant. And don't say you can't remember them, because if you were attending uni, you still have your library card with full history of your readings, Oh, the glorious digital age, with everyone living a track that can be accessed at any time, anywhere in the world!

>>51072549
>>51070253
>>51072346
>>51072499


Egypt was way more lewd, irl.

Shows what you know, Anons.

The ancient Egyptians wore the minimum of clothing. Men were commonly bare chested and barefoot. They wore a tunic around their waist. Women commonly wore a loose draped or see-through fabric. Women entertainers performed naked. Children went without clothing until puberty, at about age 12.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_nudity#Ancient_Egypt

>>51089724
>nude is lude
Prude pls go

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>>51070548
Africa is so ahead of everyone else they are already in the post-apocalypse.

>>51090299
They kinda are. Half of the soil in the continent is useless due to climatic changes that occured 20-18k years ago