/ccg/ Custom Card General

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>>51029749
Well, this is weird. Why does the last ability deal damage equal to the number of counters on it to the player it just did damage to? And I think using DeathStrike with that last ability is way too obvious. I say just drop one or the other. I mean, you already have Menace.

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Kinda stumped here. I want to make a top-down card representing calling forth the contents of paintings. So far all I have is pic related (enchantments being paintings here, I guess), but it feels too much like Metallurgic Summonings IMO.

How would you do this, /ccg/?

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>>51031465
I'm not sure if this needs to be mythic. It does seem cool though.

>>51031465
>>51031554
Oh yeah, and the proper wording is now
>Whenever you cast an enchantment spell, create a 2/2 blue Spirit creature token.
Wait, why are they Blue? Aren't most tokens 1/1, White, and have Flying?

>>51031554
Mythic is just a placeholder until I figure out the whole card.
>>51031570
Brainfarted on the proper wording, thanks
>Why are they blue?
These are intended to be the inhabitants of the paintings, physically stepping into the real world. 1/1 white flyers are just dead people. DESU I was on the fence about making them Illusions, but I felt Spirit would convey my intentions better.

>>51031935
mistyped this version, I originally costed it at 2UB

>>51031935
Templating nitpicks:
>reveal that card
I think this should be "he or she reveals it"
>If it is an...
"If it's an..."
>unless your opponent loses 2 life.
"unless that player pays 2 life."

Also, this needs to state that the opponent draws the card if the life is paid, because otherwise this just keeps it on top. That might require a complete rewrite.

Card itself:
Cool effect, but combined with the body it's way too good at 3. Make it 4 and it's probably a solid Vintage card/Modern sb card (?). 5 if you want another bulk EDH mythic.

>>51032089
see
>>51031949

>>51032106
>>51031949
Good to know you're not insane.

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>>51032150
I'm a different guy, just wanted to pointed it out to you.

>>51032254
Figured, so I replied to both. Card seems solid, maybe a bit off-color. Just reading his wiki page (not much comics knowledge outside the occasional Moon Knight/Hawkeye), he seems WR to me, but I'm no expert.

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>>51032308
Well, as much as I might like the colors to match the character, I learned a long time ago that mechanics have to come before fluff. But thanks.

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too pushed?

>>51033155
lmao just realized it says "viligance"

>>51033155
Can't say that i'm a fan. At least the heavy color weight makes it difficult to protect. I'd drop the doubling every turn at least.

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Kinda wish I could think of more stuff for lightning-users to do than ping. At least this guy can mess with metal.

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Kinda mill but also leaving some stuff open commander. Wording on the 2nd ability is specifically to increase functionality as a commander but if that's too good I'm not above making it the wording you'd expect of "exiled by ~"

opinions/criticism?

>>51033620
I think it should be fine without carrying the cards over between deaths. You always get a chance to copy a spell unless it has SS.

>>51033620
If you wanted to be really nasty you could try something like
>UB, T, Put an instant or sorcery card an opponent owns from exile into that player's graveyard: You may copy that card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

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Give white/red/boros some card draw, Wizards. Pls.

I'm building a power cube with some friends made entirely out of custom cards. Anybody interested in seeing the sections already finished?

Is there a way to make actually high-res cards ? I need to print some for the boardgame café I'm working in

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Friend asked me to make a R/W commander that isn't just focused on combat so I whipped this up

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>>51034057
Might want to word it like this so you can draw cards from an empty hand

>>51038755
Can't*

>>51036114
Check the OP.

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I was thinking of the most WU effect I could come up with, and this ended up as the winner. I'm sure though you fine gentlemen can tell me at least 10 different ways why this won't work/why it's broken as all fuck.

>>51038605
I'd make it
>you may have ~ deal that much damage
To prevent the very fringe case where it creates an infinite loop.

>>51039792
That's not how that ability works. It would have to be something like
>When ~ enters the battlefield, exile target spell.
>When ~ leaves the battlefield, the exiled card's owner may cast that card without paying its mana cost.
As per Spell Queller.

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>>51039792
>>51039937
It could be worded similar to Ertai's meddling's oracle text

"X can't be 0.
Target spell's controller exiles it with X delay counters on it.
At the beginning of each of that player's upkeeps, if that card is exiled, remove a delay counter from it. If the card has no delay counters on it, he or she puts it onto the stack as a copy of the original spell."

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>>51035289
No interest? Sounds like It's time to post cards regardless, fuck the haters. I need feedback anyways.

>>51040097
it's shit

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>>51040097

>>51040082
Well, yeah, but... god that's a pain. It's easier to just cast it anew.

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>>51040222

>>51040097
>>51040222
>>51040279
This is, unfortunately, all I have available to me right now. there's an unfinished U/G section, and a B/R section is finished but I don't have the cards available to me right now. I could also post some of the draft-centric cards, but, eh.

>>51040218
k

>tfw a mechanic you make is put into an actual set
I don't know whether to be mad that I can't use the name I came up with in my set or to be smug that I managed to do such a thing.

>>51040388
Show us a card you made with the mechanic.

>>51040409
Can't since I'm phone posting, but it's the artifact convoke, which I posted a few months back. I called it "refract" as it had to do with a crystalline race in the set.

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Me and my friends play a game where they give me a word and I make a card/mechanic based on it, this one was reverse infect

>>51040627
Honestly it seems expensive, especially when compared to ghostly possession or whatever that card is from the original Innistrad. It probably doesn't work much differently from pacifism in practice.

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>>51040627
Effect seems cool, but I'm pretty sure you'd need entirely different wording.
>If enchanted creature would deal damage to a creature, put that many +1/+1 counter on that creature instead.
>If enchanted creature would deal damage to a player, that player gets that many experience counters instead.
Hmm, should it give loyalty counters to planeswalkers? But if you wanted to simplify it, you could just have it gain people life.
>If enchanted creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, that player or that permanent's controller instead gains that much life.
Maybe.

>>51040680
When I made it I figured one less than Indestructibility would be fine, and I thought it cost 3WW. Then I it's actually cheaper than I thought. But seeing the combo potential (especially with Boros Reckoner) that costing it any cheaper might be too dangerous

>>51040740
Explain the combo potential to me, please.

>>51040748
Boros reckoner can infintely do damage to himself for infinte +1/+1 counters, pingers would get you experice counters like crazy

>>51040716
I based it on infects wording
"This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters." but that is only reminder text, but i like the parallel of poison to experience counters

>>51040803
Why would you use it on your reckoner to get +1/+1 counters when you could just use the reckoner to kill things (including your opponent). Exp counters aren't much of a balancing concern unless you're designing just for EDH, and even then they're not that prevalent of a mechanic. There are way more busted combos than this.

>>51040828
Right, but that's an innate characteristic of the ability. Here's a few of the relevant rules from the comp rules.
>702.89. Infect
>702.89a Infect is a static ability.
>702.89b Damage dealt to a player by a source with infect doesn’t cause that player to lose life. Rather, it causes the player to get that many poison counters. See rule 119.3.
>702.89c Damage dealt to a creature by a source with infect isn’t marked on that creature. Rather, it causes that many -1/-1 counters to be put on that creature. See rule 119.3.
Notice how none of this is actual rules text. So I don't think you could really apply the same wording to rules wording.

>>51039937
I'm not exactly convinced the Pausing whatever's ability couldn't work like it's framed in the card. There's precedent in spells simply being put onto the stack, and the comprehensive rules outline how to handle simultaneous stack entries. the italicized text even pretty clearly explains what happens when the exiled spell returns.

>>51041293
>There's precedent in spells simply being put onto the stack
Sauce?

>>51041321
Storm copies are put directly onto the stack, and aren't cast. They're fact they're copies doesn't change that they're also spells.

>>51041321
See >>51040082 for at least one example

>>51041380
Yeah, that doesn't really count, because the copies are pulling all their information from the original spell, which was cast. Basically it's just a shorthand version of the wording used in Ertai's Meddling. >>51040082

>>51041413
Yes, but that uses extra wording to specify what the spell becomes, it's not just reminder text.

For example, if you exile an X-cost spell then it got put back onto the stack later, it won't "remember" what the X value was, which is why the Ertai's Meddling wording of "as a copy of the original spell" is so important. Also consider extra circumstances like Splice.

So, again, you can't just use the wording here >>51039792 because it doesn't actually work.

>>51041460
I'm not sure why an X-cost spell SHOULD remember the value of its X. If you cast an X-cost spell without paying its manacost, there is no X, so X is 0.

>>51041460
That's an excellent point, I see what you mean

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Rolled 8, 10, 2, 8, 2 = 30 (5d10)

Guess I might as well post this already.

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Rolled 6, 2, 5, 6, 6 = 25 (5d10)

>>51041938
Multicolor (UR), planeswalker, card advantage, CMC 5, common (obviously ignored)

Ugh, not doing that. If anyone else wants to give it a shot, be my guest.

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>>51042037
Colorless, instant, voltron/buff, CMC 3, uncommon

Nevermind.

Wily Wizard
URR
Creature - Human Wizard

First Strike, Haste

U: Exile ~, then you may return it to the battlefield. If you don't, ~ returns to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.

3/1


Izzit op or fine?

>>51041460
>>51041618
Also, [CR 702.46e] clearly says that a spell loses all splice changes when it leaves the stack.

I'm sill not seeing why the proposed wording can't function. No contradiction exists in the comprehensive rules I can find. If there's an X cost, it's 0. If the spell was spliced when it was originally cast, it's not spliced anymore. Sure, it's not identical to the spell that left the stack, but it doesn't need to be.

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Rolled 7, 10 = 17 (2d10)

>>51041938

>>51042385
Wizards could've used your wording for Spell Queller. But they didn't, and they probably had a very good reason for it.

>>51043412
>A wizard did it

On a more serious note, just because they didn't use this wording doesn't mean it couldn't work. Maybe they used the wording they did because it led to some other kind of interaction they liked and wanted to keep?

I mean, don't forget that while the basic idea is the same in both cases, the two are mechanically a bit different. For example, Spell Queller's text leaves it open to the Oblivion Ring trick which was the reason Oblivion Ring's future variations use the Stasis Snare wording (also used by the CC we're arguing over), and also enables, say, Eldrazi who usually run off of "when you cast" triggers to trigger twice. The SS-version wording doesn't do either of those.

I'm not saying the Stasis Snare like wording is better than Spell Queller wording, but that your assertion it can't work at all isn't correct. There doesn't seem to be any (obvious) reason it couldn't work.

>>51044004
All evidence says they wouldn't use Spell Queller's wording, as they know how people can abuse it with stack manipulation. But they did anyway. Why? Probably because they don't have any better wording. Your wording, if it works, is better. But they didn't use it. Probably because it doesn't work.

>>51033155
I think it's kind of a boring design. Honestly. I think the high power restrictive cost design should have more flare.

Maybe drop protection from creatures and instead "has landwalk for each basic Landtype you don't control." To go with the crusader vibe.

>>51044594
"I don't know why it doesn't work, it just doesn't!" is a sad argument, anon. C'mon, you're better than this.

>>51045000
I am looking at the facts and drawing conclusions from them. I'm sorry that Wizards doesn't like your wording. Get over it.

>>51045000
Not that anon, but putting a spell directly onto the stack skips all targeting and mode choices.

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Anyway, let's post some cards.

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I don't know about the wording, but I thought this would be a good idea for another hate bear. Stopping Daze and FoW from being cast for "free" seems really cool in my book. Then I realized it'd stop Invigorate as well so its not just good against legacy counter spells. The card could be too samey to Thalia, Guardian of Thraben though.

>>51045310
Ahh, mode choices. Well yes, that would do it.

>>51045441
Yeah the idea is fine, although I'm not sure it would be that impactful. Wording should be "Alternative costs of spells can't be paid." I believe.

>>51045381
Wouldn't it be easier to just have 3 damage divided as you choose? A bit more powerful but not so much so and means you don't need a modal choice.

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>>51045441
Hmm, maybe
>Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell if no mana was spent to cast it.

>>51045698
OK, sounds cool.

>>51046647
But then that would counter Memnite which isn't really in the flavor of the card. I feel like there should be a more precise wording to it.

>>51046711
Maybe word it to only affect instants and sorceries?

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>>51046711
Uh...
>Whenever a player casts a spell with converted mana cost 1 or greater, counter that spell if no mana was spent to cast it.

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Friends and I decided we each wanted to make custom commanders to build decks around. I ended up choosing BUG as my color combination. What do you guys think? The flavors not really great because I built it thinking about the abilities and just kind of slapped on a name and type there at the end.

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>>51046973
>Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield under a player's control, each other player creates a token that's a copy of that creature.
First ability seems fun, but the last ability is super tacked on and weird. Not entirely sure how to make it truly BUG though, sorry.

>>51047754
Why blue for a double death trigger?

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>>51047735
Actually, a card the copies another continuously uses really weird wording.

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Any suggestions for these fuckers? I'm not entirely happy with some of their current states.

>Silara is garbage, only things I'd keep if it was redone would be Flying and counters subtheme.
>Edlyn was designed originally as a looter, but kind of evolved into a voltron looter where you aim to steal equipment along with combo pieces.
>Runo feels like he's teetering that fine line of being strong but busted. Maybe increase the amount of life you need to pay for his second ability by 1 life so you can't abuse it too much.
>Ryfon feels straightforward, but also pretty boring. Not sure where to go for him asides from an aggro-focused direction.

>>51047998
Oh yeah, Lychnus had a "deal 1 damage to target opponent for each card discarded this way" effect for his tap ability, but that seemed a bit too broken if you got too many tokens out. He and Runo were the ones I felt the best about, followed by Edlyn, Ryfon and Silara in that order.

>>51047998
Oh my god, you don't even understand the basics, and you want to make 4-color commanders? Are you joking?

>>51047055

Yeah, I came up with the first ability one night and always wanted to use it. Since this was a BUG project and the ability I wanted to use was very UG I honestly just tried to shoe-horn a black ability onto the card.

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>>51048483
>I honestly just tried to shoe-horn a black ability onto the card.
Well, obviously. I think it would be better for the card if you make it purely simic and cut out the Black ability, and just make a BUG cards from the ground up.

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>>51048148
I was bored and wanted to come up with some commanders focused around the 2016 decks and their basic structures (GWUB counters, WUBR artifacts, UBRG chaos/discard, BRGW aggro, and RGWU Politics).

I went and reworded the cards too, even redid Silara and I like how she sounds a lot better now.

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>>51049014
Oh my god this hurts. Well, let's begin.

>Silara
>Whenever a creature is put into your graveyard form the battlefield
While technically different, the wording
>Whenever a creature you control dies
is far more succinct.
>remove a time counter.
Should say
>remove a time counter from that creature
or something similar. Though the entire ability has memory issues. I think it would be better if it perhaps made a token that's a copy of the creature and just gave it Suspend 2 (unless it already has Suspend). Maybe something like
>Whenever a creature
Actually, this needs specifying. Should it be
>Whenever another creature
or
>Whenever ~ or another creature
Because Wizards generally likes using those two now. Anyway, I'd make it
>Whenever another creature you control dies, create a token that's a copy of it. If it doesn't have suspend, put two time counters on it and it gains suspend.
And I see no reason why the last ability specifies creatures with time counters on them already. Just, why? And the ability isn't Green or Black.

>Edlyn
>combat damage to an opponent
Oh yeah, wouldn't want it to trigger when it deals combat damage to you, right? Seriously, what's the point of specifying opponent?
>top X cards of that opponent's library, where X is ~'s power
Eh, I'd prefer a static number, like 3, but it's up to you. And also, the general rule for legends is that you have to use the full card name the first time, but you can skip it every time afterwards.
>their library
God I hate it when people use "their" on cards.

Oh my lord, there are like five things wrong with the last ability alone. Look, I'll just give you proper wording for that ability, because pointing out every flaw would take so much longer.
>1WR, T: Put an artifact card an opponent owns from exile onto the battlefield under your control. It gains indestructible until your next turn.
Also, this ability isn't White in the slightest.

1/?

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>>51049014
>>51049307
>Also, this ability isn't White in the slightest.
I take this back. The ability is White due to using Indestructible.

>Runo Stromkirk
>Shroud
First, this ability belongs in Blue or Green. Second, Shroud is dead, replaced with Hexproof, though it also belongs in Blue or Green.
>Whenever a creature card is put into your graveyard
Let's just shorten this to
>Whenever a creature you control dies
Also, same thing I said with Silara, use either
>Whenever another creature
or
>Whenever ~ or another creature
Anyway, I don't see why is uses the wording "target player" instead of "target opponent".
Proper wording for the last ability is
>GU, Pay 3 life: Put the top three cards of your library into your graveyard.
The rest looks fine. Also not Blue, or really Green, though it could easily be Green if you dropped the life payment and the Zombie and Vampire specification. Otherwise it's just straight up Black.

>Ryfon
>First Strike, Forestwalk
You only capitalize the first keyword in a sentence (and even then only the first word if a keyword has two words). Also, Forestwalk, and all the Landwalk abilities, are dead. They haven't really been replaced by anything.
>discard a land card from your hand
Obviously your hand, you can't discard cards from anywhere else. Cut out "from your hand". But other than that the ability seems fine, though I'd personally change it to
>At the beginning of combat on your turn
I dunno, I just feel like it's weird to Fight in the middle of attacking. But that's just me.

The last ability is mostly fine, but why not just creatures you control? And why 3 or less power?

2/?

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>>51049014
>>51049307
>>51049487
>Whenever an opponent plays an Instant or Sorcery spell
Ugh, no. You only use the wording "plays" if you are referring to any group of cards that includes lands. Otherwise, you use "casts".
>create a */* Saproling token with "* is equal to the number of Instants and Sorceries in your graveyard."
Oh lord. First, specify a color. Second, you don't need to use */*. Third, why your graveyard? It doesn't make sense, it should obviously look at the I/S cards in opponents' graveyards. OR it should create one whenever you cast an I/S spell. Anyway, the proper wording for the ability would be
>Whenever an opponent casts an instant or sorcery spell, create a green Saproling creature token with "This creature's power and toughness are each equal to the number of instant and sorcery spells in your graveyard."

Last ability is OK in wording, but why exclusively creature tokens? And it's not really very Red, despite the discard, way more Green and Blue I think.

Man, I'm sorry, but it really feels like you're trying to run before you can walk, which happens a lot here. I know that multicolor mythic legends look cool and can be fund to design, but you seriously need to step back from them for a while until you have all the basics down.

3/3

>>51049014
>>51049577
Sorry, for Lychnus, I used wording that made the Saproling Green, it would probably be better to make it Green and White.

>>51047792
Because blue copies abilities.

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God these threads have been doing poorly.

>>51051573
I don't really know how this would be used, but it looks like it could be interesting. I do feel like it's weird that the discard-draw effect doesn't just apply to whoever cast the spell though.

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Seriously, is there anyone else here?

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>>51059280
Uh, I can post some of my stuff if you want, here's a really out there card that I made

>>51059694
Well, not really useful in a lot of cases, but completely sadistic with Iona.

>>51049198
Bump, looking for some feedback on this. It is my first planeswalker.

>>51060762
Nothing is worded correctly, and it's underwhelming and overcosted. Can't really go in-depth because I'm on my cell. I recommend changing it so one of the first two abilities can affect creatures on the board so the walker has some sort of defense. Also, don't be afraid to ditch Kamigawa mechanics, most of them are bad anyway.

>>51060762
>>51060875
Also, don't feel too bad, planeswalkers are an absolute bitch to design for.

>>51060762
Lower the mana cost and make the creature type Mizu

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>>51061017
Planeswalker type*

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>>51061081

>>51060875
>>51060970
>>51061017
Thank you very much for your help. I thought the second ability would be enough to protect Mizu. I could change the first so that it draws a card and also creates a flying Spirit token for defense. I also see that the card is severely overcosted compared to other planeswalkers.

>>51061081
>>51061122
Seriously? Goku and Vegeta, in their Super Saiyan forms, are only as strong as BEARS?! I'm not even a big fan of DBZ, but that seems really insulting to the source material.

>>51061285
>I thought the second ability would be enough to protect Mizu.
Well, it kinda does, sure, but it needs you to already have creatures and continue to risk them in combat. A planeswalker at 6 mana would have some better protection than that. I mean, when I talk about protection, take a look at Narset. She has no real way to protect herself, but she comes with 6 loyalty at 4 mana.

>>51064781
When you use P/T defining abilities, the P/T of the creature should be */*.

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>>51065217
If every planeswalker was as mechanically powerful as Narset, that would be... a problem. But I see your point. Better?

>>51065217
Eh, It's more like relative power, they were designed from the fusion reborn movie, where the demon Janemba heavily outclassed them, even SS3 goku didn't stand a chance, so they fused. Also, they're only ss1, It's not like he went Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Kaiokenx10

I want this thread to stay alive. I'll be back to hopefully post some of my stuff in the morning.

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>>51066620
Who are you and why aren't you posting now?

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My attempt at a 2 mana planeswalker. Thoughts?

>>51066761
So weak it's nearly useless, which is the entire problem with 2-mana walkers. Also, do people actually care about Cipher?

>>51066761
Who's the artist? Also, I don't remember what Cipher is, and probably no one else does either.

>>51066761
>>51067159
That said, I see what you were going for. It's just that a weak mill effect each round may not be worth playing for a lot of people, especially since "everyone" includes Bashtila's owner.

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>>51067159
Not him, but I found some art. It's from some MMO called 9Dragons. No idea who the artist is, good luck.

>>51067297
Thanks!

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Wait /ccg/ is back and alive!? I missed you guys!

This is dead bird anon weeb anon, by the way. My computer got thrown out the back window of my car in a crash this last month, so I lost my previous set file. I had luckily uploaded all my exports though so I still have those, at least.

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>>51067519
>Wait /ccg/ is back and alive!?
Barely. The last one was looking good then died, and I've been struggling to keep this one alive.

>I missed you guys!
Same here. How've you been doing?

>My computer got thrown out the back window of my car in a crash this last month
Ouch, you OK? What happened?

>I had luckily uploaded all my exports though so I still have those, at least.
That is lucky.

>card
Eh... I'm always iffy of cards I'm not 100% sure actually work, but it seems like it could be interesting. Though I think I'd much prefer it if it only worked on stuff you control.

>>51067519
>>51067694
Also, what is your new set symbol?

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>>51067694
Was driving home from college (4 hour drive), got distracted, and managed to roll my vehicle. Car was totaled, but nobody was injured, even myself. Not even a bruise. Unfortunately my computer got launched out the back window, which necessitated some replacements. I was planning to show my friend all the cards I'd designed, so I uploaded them to Imgur to send to him, so I had that backup at least.

>set symbol
It's 東, or "Tō". It looks better on non-future sight cards.

>Starfire
I like. Its very red, although I'm wary of the body on top of that ability. Maybe a 3/3?

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>>51067803
You already got a new computer and new car?

>It's 東, or "Tō".
What does this mean for us who don't know moonspeak?

>Starfire
Eh... I think I'd honestly just prefer raising mana costs than lower her P/T. As much as I talk about putting mechanics first, I have to admit I'm a bit particular about the P/T of my creatures.

>Stellar Crash
>1RR
>~ deals 16 damage to target creature.
Don't really like it. I really think the design is way off, since it's going to encourage people to pack things they would normally never use, and things they even can't use, just because it lets them abuse this. Or I could be way reading into this, dunno. Good idea to make it only hit creatures though.

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>>51067930
No new car. Took the bus down to college this quarter. Working off my old laptop that I left at school. Will be slowly rebuilding my computer, since some of it was salvageable.

>東
Well its the first character in Touhou (東方, Eastern) and means "East". Associated with a certain series of shooting games featuring girls in silly hats.

>Stellar Crash
Hmmmm, can't win every time. The concept was "good value, but forces deckbuilding restrictions", since exiling your bomb or running a playset of Dracos to make your creature removal work is a downside, but you're right in that it reads poorly.

>card
I swear to god I designed this at least 12 hours before they spoiled that construct in AER.

>Rac Shade's Madness
I don't think it should be instant speed, because the second clause doesn't let you circumvent timing restrictions as written. So there's a high chance somebody will try and cast it on their opponent's end step, hit a non-instant, and then be sad.

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>>51068081
>Well its the first character in Touhou (東方, Eastern) and means "East". Associated with a certain series of shooting games featuring girls in silly hats.
Yeah, I've heard of it. Hard to use Danbooru and not.

>card
Seems OK, though I really hope you make it an uncommon.

>Rac Shade's Madness
Good point, thanks.

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>>51068081
Not the same anon, but christ. Here's hoping you get back on your feet sooner rather than later.

Prodded a bit at ideas for mecha cards again, and ended up following a really, really bad idea.
>Giza
Two versions behind this guy, one that's got a slightly worse Ride Down and one that's got a way better Ride Down. Might be a little pushed with the Giza Twin, I think I was shooting for Gearhulk-ish levels when I first started. A few things I wanted to do didn't make it to the end product, like having the condition of needing a Desert to trigger the ability, but it's probably for the better. I think the mana cost could be bumped up some and it would still be fine.

>Sol Fortress
almost certainly busted, was originally WWRR. The restriction probably isn't enough on a legendary mythic land, even with an intended EDH power-level, but I wanted to experiment with it regardless.

>Tara
Started as a "let's take a crack at that UR artificer again", and went through a number of revisions. Toyed heavily with a search-and-ping-based-on-CMC deal, and she had various methods of cheapening artifacts for a while (tapping for artifact-only mana, reducing artifact cost by 1), before I finally ended on the probably-a-bit-too-decent ability she has now. More blue than red, but it's fine, I think.

The next four are loosely intended to pair with Tara, in the idea that they're Tara's creation, more or less. Thinking on the idea that there's a timeline where each one happened.

>Yvinn
Probably the worst overall in terms of design- I wanted a bit more out of her but didn't want to bog her down with a boatload of text (one edition forgot "partner" and was still pretty massive in terms of text, yeesh), and ended up with what is probably an utterly disgusting tapdown ability that can and will be abused by flicker effects. Hoping that her absurd cost helps balance her a little bit, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's no actual way to balance the mega-tappening.

>>51068465
>Lumis
Given that Lazav is a four-drop and she steals heavily from him, she might not be the most balanced in terms of CMC, but I honestly have no clue where to put clone effects. Her lower CMC is a slight artifact from her keeping her P/T through transformations, but that was scrapped in favor of giving her a lower overall P/T and giving her a slightly more versatile clone effect- the lack of repeatability and Hexproof also make her a bit more worthy of the cost reduction, I hope.

>Helila
Last one I actually built, and probably the worst in terms of wording and balance, but I fell in love with the idea halfway through designing her and I couldn't stop myself. Originally she was going to be an imbalanced Phyrexian Arena- I played around a bit with her giving it to the whole table, eventually scrapping it- but looking for inspiration lead me to Deadly Wanderings. At the time, she was a two-drop- but the addition of keywords and power forced me to change this, leading to the second idea- the "revenge" aspect that actually does something interesting and unique with the partner commanders.

>Solia
The first one I actually designed, and probably a dead giveaway that I'm a fan of Soulfire Grand Master and want a legendary version. She started life as a Sunforger-esque artifact creature, but quickly changed her tune when I decided to go full Soulfire and mix in a dash of Boros Battalion flavor.

>>51068518
>>51068465

To wrap up my own solo-commentary now that I've looked over the cards again, I'm:
>Unhappy that the "core" commander Tara doesn't actually interact very well with any of her supposed partners
>Realizing that Yvinn taps down everything her owner controls too, and liking her a little more as a result
>Wishing I could actually make a Solia/Helila deck, or hell, just wishing half of Helila's mechanics existed elsewhere
>Realizing I stayed up for an hour making these cards when it felt like half that at most

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>>51068465
Various wording and templating notes
>Tara
"If that card is an artifact card"
Because its not on the battlefield, it won't ever be an artifact, only an artifact card.

>Giza
Not really hybrid, i.e. R/W != RW. Red doesn't flicker or remove blockers like that, it tends to prevent blocking in the first place. But hey, its Artifact-Stangg!

>Yvinn
Titty angel. Always good. Big fat game ender that guarantees her own swing. I like. Probably my favorite of the set, although probably the least playable.

>Lumis
Clones are typically replacement effects, unless you really don't want them to get ETB effects.
"You may have ~ enter the battlefield as a copy of any artifact or creature on the battlefield or any artifact or creature card in a graveyard, except its name is still ~ and its legendary and an artifact in addition to its other types."

Alternatively, where :: is the bullet symbol
"When ~ enters the battlefield, choose one --
:: ~ becomes a copy of target artifact or creature, except its name is still ~ and its legendary and an artifact in addition to its other types.
:: ~ becomes a copy of target artifact or creature card in a graveyard, except its name is still ~ and its legendary and an artifact in addition to its other types."

>Helila
"As an additional cost to cast ~, sacrifice all creatures you control."
Note that commanders returning to the command zone is not dying (dying demands going to the graveyard), so this may not trigger as much as you'd expect. The other wording is
"Whenever your commander is put into the command zone or graveyard from the battlefield, [effect]..."
Optionally "Whenever another of your commanders" or something to that effect, or it'll trigger off its own return to the command zone.

>Solia
"As long as you control three or more artifact creatures, artifact creatures, instant spells, and sorcery spells you control have lifelink."

>card
I'm lazy and in a design slump atm, so have something I posted to leddit a while back.

>>51068755
>and its legendary and an artifact in addition to its other types."
Just want to point out that this could probably just be shortened to
>it's a legendary artifact in addition to its other types.

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>>51068810
Ah, true. Good catch. Sort of slamming abilities together and Sakashima the Metamorph doesn't have a clear cut example.

Where is that anon making the egypt set? Did he ever finish?

>>51071868
Time anon. And no, he was in the last thread. But he already finished the first set, you can find it in the OP.

>>51071948
>the first set
He's making another one?

>>51072109
Yup. First set used the Eye of Horus as the set symbol, the second uses the ankh. Gotta admire his dedication.

>>51072152
Holy shit. That's crazy.

>>51072160
He's made a block before. Here's his work, taken from the Pastebin for /ccg/ sets.

Time anon's Time set:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/7nv8u8ncj0gdw7f/Time.mse-set

Time anon's second Time set:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/13vubsmsv3tlqva/Time%202.mse-set

Time anon's Athnahr set:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/fwa7bmmt32wntk8/Athnahr.mse-set

>>51072271
Speaking of, if anyone has any completed or in-progress sets they would like me to add to the Pastebin, post a link to your set and let me know.

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>>51066718

I'm the guy who doesn't like posting his stuff because I'm trying to design a set with upwards of 270-someodd cards and people always give me shit for not having art. These threads need some kind of life infusion though, so I'm here to do what I can.

I'm going to be dumping everything I've got so far, mistakes and things that need to be completely revised included. Let's start off with the Common black cards and artifacts.

>>51073047
>dumping everything I've got so far
Please wait until you've gotten feedback for what you've already posted. I will give you feedback, though it may take a while since I'm on my phone.

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>>51073047

So I was probably going to take duress out because I had a 1 drop uncommon that was going to fill the spot discard role. I was thinking a mind rot variant with investigate.

Asset Confiscation is on the list of things to really scrutinize before accepting it as is. I feel like it should be an uncommon but there's a niggling feeling that tells me otherwise.

Forgot to finish CB11, oops.

Resonance as a reminder was changed really late into development. Resonance is now Harmony, and Harmony fills a niche closer the what Resonance did. I found that it just works better as a generic reminder that "if you spent only mana of one color, do thing" and not making them super restrictive and having gold color identities for no real mechanical reason. That being said, CG03 and CG05 are due for major overhauls.

CG07 is technically off-color because of said color adjustments. Yay, another thing to go over.

Next up is a bunch of multi-color commons.

>>51073151
See
>>51073086

>>51029711
I had an idea for a black counterspell:

>Broken Femur
>3B
>Instant
>Counter target kickable/multikickable spell.

>>51073369
Not Black, I don't care about the pun.
>Counter target kicked spell.

>>51040716
How about this:

>if they have poison counters, they lose that many, one by one
>if they don't, they gain life.
>if they have less poison than the amount of damage dealt, they remove all poison, then any excess damage makes them gain life

>>51073545
Eh, that's a fringe case, I don't think it's worth including. Really, I think just converting damage to lifegain is fine. Though in that case, I think it could be way cheaper, maybe 1W or W.

>Guardtower
>XGG
>Multikicker G
>Creature: Wall (0/10)
>Defender, reach
>It enters the field with X ammo counters on it, plus an additional 2 for each time it was kicked
>Pay 1 ammo counter: it gets +1/0 until end of turn. Use this ability only as an instant, and only during the declare blockers phase.

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You could say I'm a gambling man

>>51072271
This is mostly some pretty cool stuff. I'm surprised and impressed.

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>>51075400
Coinflip tribal is my favorite.

>>51076738
Here's one I just thought of.

>Wheel of Fate
>5
>Artifact
>Enters the battlefield with a skull counter on it.
>If your life total would become 0 or less, it becomes 0 instead.
>When your life total becomes 0, flip 4 coins. If the number of heads you got was greater than the number of skull counters on this card, put a skull counter on this card if there are less than three already there and your life total becomes 6. Otherwise, sacrifice this card.

>>51077381
Oh shit, almost forgot the most important part:

>You don't lose the game for having 0 life.

>>51077395
>>51077381
As more and more brushes with death occur, your probability of surviving them wanes, from 75% at your first chance, to 50%, and ending at 25% with 3 skull counters.

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>>51077381
Spicy and risky. I like.

>card
Coin flip lord.

>>51077673
It's actually not really that original of a mechanic. I got the idea for it from Bejeweled Twist, where if a bomb gem ticks down to 0, you have to defuse it with a roulette spin, or else you lose.

>>51077834
Speaking of Bejeweled Twist, here's a cycle of cards based on fruit gems.

>Color Bomb: (color)
>4M
>Artifact
All of them have the following ability:
>Sacrifice this card and two (color) permanents: Destroy all (color) permanents. They can't be regenerated.
>If you control four other artifacts named "Color Bomb: (M)", "Color Bomb: (N)", "Color Bomb: (O)", and "Color Bomb: (P)", destroy this card and those four artifacts, and you gain 20 life.

>>51073192
>>51073086

Guess I'll just resume dumping what I've got when I get home from work then.

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Figured too strong at 3, but maybe a defensive creature is crap at 4.

>>51080120
Three cmc should be fine.

>>51079890
Sorry, got caught up with stuff. I will give you feedback later though.

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It's Chandra's Terminatenition.

>>51079086
This is super niche, but I can't really talk about niche.

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Some burn with your elves

>>51082180
>What if Abyssal Persecutor were shit?

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>>51082180
Gotta agree with >>51083196 on this one. The fact that you get time walked and a half every time it connects, for a 6/6 semi-lifelinker, is pretty bad.

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>>51079063
Kinda interesting.

>>51079086
Eh, pretty limited. I'd prefer something like Parting Thoughts, or whatever it's called, where it's a useful effect that happens to get better when it interacts with counters. Then again, that card's default effect kinda negates the counters in the first place.

>>51080120
I say 3 CMC as well.

>>51081419
Why not
>As an additional cost to cast ~, sacrifice a creature you control.
>~ deals X damage to each creature and each opponent, where X is the exiled creature's power.
Wait a minute, I've suggested this before, haven't I?

>>51082360
Uh... Not sure. Kinda cool how it interacts with mana dorks, I guess.

>>51083290
Seems pretty cool.

>>51083300
Not bad. Firebreathing by itself seems to always be a bad idea.

>>51083404
I think it should be
>[...] If ~ was kicked, instead you draw two cards and you lose 2 life.
Also, when you use — to indicate a non-mana cost for an ability like this, you don't put spaces around it. Pic related.

>>51083404
The unkicked effect if pretty weak, just make the kicker mandatory and cut complexity.

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>>51083621
>Wait a minute, I've suggested this before, haven't I?
Not to my knowledge, since thats the first time I've posted that card. Also, your wording is more or less Chandra's Ignition, while this requires an additional mana and additional color to be able to target opponents creatures as well.

>Grave Portent
Ended up with >>51083681's suggestion. MSE doesn't like non-mana costs next to Kicker, have to bully it to get ones way.

>card
Hell if know where this should be costed. Sorta Wheel of Sun and Moon, sorta Descendants Path, sorta Lurking Predators.

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Here comes the spire

There is some fantastic card-making going on here but I have a question: is this the only design-related board on /tg/ anymore? Could've sworn there was /bgdg/ — that and /ccg/ were my favorites!

>>51073047
OK, here goes.

>Artifacts
They seem fine overall, but I'm a bit worried about Demolitionist's Device, I think it might be too cheap. Could be wrong though.

>Black
>CB05
Seems like an absolute garbage common. Making an Edict effect more broad just means that it's much less likely to get rid of something you really want to get rid of.

>CB07
Doesn't seem fit for a common, and I just feel like the entire design is clunky.

>CB08
I think using Clues is a huge flavor misstep, and I think CB08 is a great case for why. How does greed relate to clues and investigation at all? Maybe you have a lore reason for it that makes sense, but in a vacuum, it just feels really strange.

>CB09
Clunky and confused, trying to do too many things as a common. Also, why does the last ability not just apply to the defending player?

Unveil is OK I guess.

>Green
>CG02
Just put it on top of the library.

>CG03
Definitely not a fan of Resonance. Just use dual-color hybrid mana.

>CG04
Really not liking this use of Evoke.

>CG05
You realize that if you don't use the color in a mono-hybrid cost, you have to pay 2, right? Using the color is already an incentive, you don't have to pile another one on top of that.

>CG06
Maybe it's just me, and there's a good chance it is because I don't play much, but I feel like you really overestimate what commons are capable of.

>CG07
...You are really making me regret my promise to give you feedback. Another one that feels too complex. And why is Harmony even a thing? I just don't see any real value in it. Mono-color cards have an intrinsic advantage over multicolor cards in being easier to cast, why give another advantage on top of that?

>CG08
If you want this to stay in the set, you should make Flashback a bigger deal.

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>>51083923
>Also, your wording is more or less Chandra's Ignition, while this requires an additional mana and additional color to be able to target opponents creatures as well.
I have no clue what you mean by this. Yeah, my wording is similar to Chandra's Ignition, because your card is just Chandra's Ignition but it destroys your creature at the end of it. I just changed the destruction to sac.

>>51067519
Glad to hear you are alright, anon.

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>>51084178
Except its Chandra's Ignition that can "ignite" something you don't control. There's a "you control" on Chandra's Ignition that's missing on my card, quite purposefully.

>>51084198
Oh. Why?

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>>51084271
Because its a kill spell slash board wipe that can either blow up your opponent's fatty and clear their board, or blow up your own to clear the the board. Which is why it needs to destroy and not sac, because you can't sacrifice things you don't control. That's why it has black in it.

I considered flipping the order of the effects, but didn't want people asking what the power of the creature is after its been destroyed (last known information). I guess it could force a sac, but that's even stronger.

Is it really that obtuse of a card, or is the comparison with Chandra's Ignition throwing you off?

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>>51084400
>Is it really that obtuse of a card, or is the comparison with Chandra's Ignition throwing you off?
It doesn't help that I didn't understand it at first. But I'm really having a hard time thinking of how it would actually be used. I dunno, doesn't matter.

>Aether Ripple
Why "increased by 1."?

>>51084392
Definitely nothing wrong with this. A good card I'd say.
>>51084409
It might sound better if it were "Untap each green creature you control" and then "Until end of turn, blahblahblah"

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>>51084485
So you can bounce lands if they can't pay 1.

>how it would be used
It's a mediocre board clear that also damages them. You target their biggest creature, it dies, and in the process kills everything else, and does damage to your opponent(s).

Or you use it the same way EDH uses Chandra's Ignition, which is dumb Infect/Deathtouch/Lifelink shenanigans.

>Kat
Seems fine. Weak body offsets the strong non-combat abilities.

>>51084648
>Kat
Thanks. Any opinion on Blackfire? >>51084178 It's a brand new card, so feedback for that would be very much appreciated.

>card
I like the flavor, but how about it fights at random instead? Otherwise the opponent could just manipulate it to his or her advantage.

>>51084178
If your opponent doesn't have a creature, Blackfire doesn't get pumped.

>>51084895
"Another target creature you control chosen at random" it is.

>>51084178
I'm always wary of hasty, evasive bodies, even if we've come some ways since Volcanic Dragon. I'd feel more comfortable +1/+1 and -1/-1, because as it is, its very capable of clearing the path the turn after it comes down and then swinging evasively for 8 or more damage.

>>51084916
Really? Huh, thanks. What if I use the "up to one" clause?

>>51084989
OK, I'll lower the numbers. Thanks.

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First time making a walker. Did I do good?

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>>51084400
The wording should be: "Return target permanent to its owner's hand unless its controller pays its mana cost plus 1."

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>>51085203
The ult feels really lack luster. Sure it eventually wins the game but it's just really slow for a -7 on a 3 loyalty walker. I'd consider making the token on every upkeep instead of just yours.

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>>51085625
The art fits the card really well. Is this part of a set or just a one off?

>>51085646
"Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals an instant or sorcery card. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then, that player shuffles his or her library."
This effect is UB, by the way, not UR.

>>51086876
That effect is totally UR, what are you on about?

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I had some cool ideas for abilities, but I know the costs are probably fucked up. A little critique? It's a giant serpent that presides over battle and raises the dead.

(I posted a very rough version earlier but I don't think anyone saw it)

>>51091252
I may be wrong, but the wording's a bit strange there. As per Arsenal Thresher's wording, I suggest "Whenever you cast a spell, you may reveal any number of cards with the same name as that spell from your hand. That spell costs {1} less to cast for each card revealed this way."

>>51091252
I think you'd have to play with your hand revealed for it to work.
>You play with your hand revealed.
>Each spell you cast costs 1 less to cast for each card in your hand with the same name as that spell.
I think.

>>51091402
A triggered ability is too slow to apply a cost reduction

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Bleh. Ping ability for arm cannon, equipment ability for upgrades. I think my thought process for flicker was Morph Ball or jumping or something.

>>51089782
It's kinda hard to judge a planeswalker that's so big. That said, the ult feels at odds with the rest of the card because it's symmetrical and will screw you over too. If this were an actual card, I think most of the time people would deliberately avoid using the ult.

>>51092473
It is overly busy with non-synergistic abilities; why do you care about pinging blockers when the goal is to pump her up big with Equipment.

>>51092652
Because I was thinking more about what the character does than what would make a good card. To be fair, that's how I start a lot of cards, and I knew that this would not be the final version, but I needed something to start with. Hmm, so, how about having an Equipment focus, but changing the ping to a variant of Spikeshot Elder's ability, so that pumping her up with Equipment still helps make that ability better? I'll probably just ditch the flicker ability. Maybe make her a DFC were she dies and comes back as Zero Suit Samus.

>>51084038


Thanks for the feedback Anon!

>CB05

Yeah, I'll make it a little more narrow or something.

>CB07

Yeah, I wanted a Sign in Blood effect at common, but I didn't want it to *BE* Sign in Blood. It needs tweaking I know that much.

>CB08

Uh, yeah, that's a good point. The flavor is a huge fail there. I'll think of something else.

>CB09

It was supposed to be a cycle, but defending player is probably ultimately better. Thanks for the catch there.

>CG03, CG05 and CG07

As I explained here, >>51073151

The mechanic was recently changed and I need to go back and completely redo these. I will respectfully disagree about CG06 not feeling like a common. It has a lot of words, but most of those serve as a drawback. It doesn't fit within any of the archetypes nor does it showcase a set mechanic enough to be a workhorse draft card.

>CG04

Woah, hold up, what's wrong with it? I need more than just not liking it. Is it too strong, too weak? Does it turn on delirium too easily for your tastes? Give me something man!

Could I bother you for feedback on these other cards I posted here?

>>51073151

If not that's totally fine. My goal was to kickstart the thread and it seems I've actually succeeded so either way, I'm happy.

>>51094081
>CG04
I don't like it because the ETB effect is really forced. If it were an ETB or LTB effect we see on other auras, I think I'd be fine with it.

Cards I don't mention specifically are "Eh, seems OK."

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Hey, all. I'm back with some more of my set's multicolored commons! I've updated the old stuff and finished the UR. So, here they are. I still have BG and BW left to do.

Also, it was suggested that I change Disgrace of Defeat to a replacement effect. I did, but the new wording removed so much of the flavor that I was going for completely. So, I reverted the card back to its current, original wording. It makes interactions with the card slightly less intuitive, but I'm okay with the trade-off.

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>>51087874
UR is concerned with your own spells, UB steals other peoples spells, e.g. Psychic Intrusion, Memory Plunder, sort of Praetor's Grasp.

While blue alone can rip spells (Knowledge Exploitation, Stolen Goods), its still not super red (Epic Experiment is self-only).

>>51097376
Oh hey time anon.

>Disgrace of Defeat
Super pedantic, but this is actually a "when" and not a "whenever", see Mire Blight/Frozen Solid/Mortal Wound. If anything, it seems overcosted in comparison to those. Probably fine at RW, unless that throws off your set's CMCs.

>>51097376
Disgrace seems counter-flavor. If it wins combat with another creature and survives, it gets exiled. If it loses combat, it just gets sent to the graveyard.

>>51097562
>Super pedantic
Nah, man, it isn't pedantic at all. You're totally right. I have a bad habit of messing that one up.
>card
Super secret FoW tech. Beyond that, it's a cool card. Exile triggers are interesting some interesting design space.

>>51097731
While that's true, a replacement effect avoids combat completely, replacing the damage with the exile trigger. I like how the card still being sent to the graveyard from lethal damage aligns with the flavor text. I could be persuaded to change it, though, if consensus is against my opinion.
>>51097797
Your wording is a bit off. That comma after the first Nevermore should be a full stop, if I'm not mistaken. Other than that, it's cute, but a bit too heavy-handed for my taste. Or maybe I'm just sick of Poe. Who knows.

>>51098845
Second mode is not black.

>>51098908
Neither was Fortuitous Find.

>>51098967
Recurring artifacts is at the very least tertiary in black's slice of the pie. Instant/sorcery recursion isn't.
>>51099098
Free mana is super hard to balance. But as far as lotus variants go, I like it. The art matches nicely as well.
>>51099384
Most likely too efficient, especially at common.

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>>51099384
>>51099729
Maybe it should be an uncommon or a 1/1 creature then.

>>51099729
>>51098967
It's a color bend at most for the theme.
Fortuitous Find was a color bend for an artifact heavy set and Grim Discovery was the same for a land heavy set.

>>51100047
"Spell Mastery" should be italicized.
>for the theme
What's your set's theme? Instants/sorceries matter?

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>>51100299
Fixed. And yes.

>>51100047
>>51100445
What unique things are you doing with your mechanics? What does this bend bring to each color, and in what way does it appear in each color? Also, why do the green common and the white common have identical abilities?

>>51066761
I'd play it. If anything it's on the upper bounds of what I'd consider reasonable for a 2cmc walker.

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some zombi

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the red 2cmc walker I was toying with

>>51068755
>the card
To avoid having to put the reminder text, you could work the ability
Pay 4 life: Tap ~. Any player may activate this ability.

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>>51094081
Well, since you asked, I'll do the second batch as well. And again, any cards I don't comment on that are complete are just "Eh, seems OK." in my opinion.

>CM01
I read what you said about turning Resonance into Harmony, and I agree that it's an improvement. However... part of me feels like you should just be using Devotion. Though admittedly, I do really like Devotion, so maybe it's just me. Anyway, this card seems fine, but maybe increase the lifegain to 4?

>CM02
I think even though it can get counters, it should have a slightly better body since it has Defender. Maybe 1/3 at least?

>CM03
Eh... really doesn't strike me as GW. Maybe BG or something. I feel like GW would allow that destroyed (or exiled) creature's controller to tutor a land.

>CM04
You don't capitalize the "strike" in "first strike" or "double strike" regardless of whether or not the keyword is the first word in a sentence. Seems OK otherwise.

>CM05
For modal, I recommend using SHIFT+ENTER, since it creates a new line but doesn't use as much space as just using ENTER. As for Eureka, I REALLY don't like it, since it makes the cards so much better in singleton formats like Commander. I'd prefer cards to be better in Commander due to scaling with the number of players or taking advantage of the larger deck sizes and life totals, not on just being better because it's singleton. I do like the effects though. Maybe Entwine?

>CM06
I really don't see the point of giving a Wrath effect Rebound. I mean, really, why? The second cast will probably barely do anything, since it'll probably hit everything you want to remove on the first cast (otherwise why use it?). I feel like a much more useful effect to use with Rebound would be
>Return target permanent to its owner's hand.

1/2

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>>51094081
>>51100695
>CM07
I get it's a reprint, but unless you have a lore reason for it, I think you should pick something else to reprint. The problem with this card is that your opponent gets to choose what gets sacced, so they're of course likely going to choose something that has you draw as few cards as usual.

>CM08
I guess it's fine for a common.

>CM09
Nice.

>CM10
I said before how Investigate didn't really work in terms of flavor when it came to mercs and greed, but wow this is a flavor win. Maybe decrease cost to BR, but all you need right now is same really good art for this.

>CM11
Feels like an uncommon to me. Should be "another creature" so at the very least it doesn't Fight itself. Wait, why doesn't it just use Fight? Anyway, I really don't like the exile recursion on Salvage, but other than that I can't really see anything wrong with it. People will probably use it more for draw than the chance to recur it, but it's unlikely to result in repetitive plays, which is why Retrace is high on the Storm scale.

>CM18
I guess it's OK, though I believe the proper wording should be
>[...] 2 life. When a creature dealt damage this way dies this turn, draw a card.

>CM20
Why is this Blue?

>CM21
I don't understand the flavor at all. Anyway, it should probably just exile an I/S card from your graveyard as an additional cost to cast it.

>CR03
Hmm, seems interesting. If you ever get around to playtesting, I'd like to hear how this performs.

>CR04
Another flavor fail in my opinion, sorry.

>CR05
Eh, the name feels like someone who goes around asking questions, not a dude who smacks people in the face. I feel like this deserves a name like "Brutal Interrogator"

2/2

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>>51099098
>Another fixed lotus!
>Banned in Legacy, restricted in Vintage.
In all seriousness, it looks nice, but I am wary that it will eventually prove to be too powerful even with the restriction. Pretty cool design though.

>>51099384
Card seems fine, but I really like the art. Looks like something out of Alara (Jund specifically, I thought it was Bloodbraid Elf in the art.)

>>51092473
That's a good point, thank you.

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>>51100514
The spell mastery - +1/+1 is a cycle.

>>51100839
Enjoy.

>>51101093
>Cycle
That's a bit boring for a cycle. Also, what about my other questions?

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>>51100686
The point was a Time Spiral-esque weird use of the rules, even if its not necessarily the most direct way to accomplish it.

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>>51101985
>Senshi, Darksteel Chef
Nice.

>>51031465
I'd say maybe you should make an artifact that represents a painting whose contents can be called forth, instead of a card that tries to treat other cards like paintings. Something like

Surreal Vista {4}
Artifact [M]
{T}: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
{3}, {T}: Exile a card from your hand. Create an X/X Blue Spirit creature token, where X is the converted mana cost of the discarded card.

>>51103159
This gave me a dumb idea.
>Cruise Liner
>1
>Artifact - Vehicle
>Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice it. If you do, draw three cards.
>Crew 3
>4/4

>>51091919
>>51091440
>>51091402
>>51091252
"As you cast a spell, you may reveal any number of cards with the same name as that spell from your hand. That spell costs {1} less for each card revealed this way."

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>>51101149
Well it's a filler common cycle.

For draft:
1) sorcery/instant powerlevel will be on par with m11-m12 draft
2) it will be possible to draft a noncreature deck
3) enters the battlefield effects will be toned down to about as much as RTRs

For Mechanics, I'm aiming to create a mechanic similar to splice so you get a build your own spell.

Spell Mastery is also a placeholder as I may just make it a case by case basis for caring about instants and sorcery to open space for another mechanic.

>>51106201
And why have you made these design decisions? Seeding the set with enough noncreature spells to make a creatureless deck possible in limited seems like a tall order (especially since that makes pump and removal spells useless for and against such decks), and not one that necessarily leads to fun gameplay. How do you plan to balance that?

>>51031465
Honestly it doesn't seem overtly powerful. Id recommend cutting one of the U in the cost, considering its mythic and the creature has to be alive for the returning to battlefield effect.

How does this sound for a gimmicky WB commander?

When @ enters the battlefield, create a colorless McGuffin artifact token with "At the beginning of your draw step, draw an additional card" and "Whenever a creature deals combat damage to you, that creature's controller gains control of this artifact." under target player's control.
At the beginning of your upkeep, gain control of all McGuffins.

>>51106201
>>51106766
For instant and sorcery powerlevels on par with m11 and m12: this will encourage more spells being played, which will help activating spell mastery and other spell matters themes.

For the creature less deck: it will be possible but hard to do. Such as the dampen thoughts deck in champions or the defender deck in rtr. There will be some token producers as well but not to an extreme degree.

For ebbs being toned down: It's to allow more interaction and to make it less like creatures replacing instants and sorceries.

>How do you plan to balance that?
To be honest I believe it will be alot of trial and error based off of feedback.

I'll probably hold off on Commons for now. And focus on uncommons so I can seed which archetypes are in the set. And make sure Commons overlap with those archetypes. (Goblin fodder like card overlapping with go wide/tokens archetype, goblin tribal archetype and sacrifice fodder archetype.)

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I got bored and made cards based off my friends and I.

They're all fucking awful and unimaginative but I wanted to post them anyway.

>>51107372
I actually think a lot of these can be salvaged, and I really like the idea of a Goat tribal commander. Out of curiosity, which one is based on you?

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my first attempt to make custom mtg cards

how'd i do haha

>>51097376

The only one I really want to nitpick here is Plenitude. The care is fine, but you have Urban Evolution in the previous set too, right? It might be just me, but if I was doing a full set draft I don't know how I'd feel about having two or three of those combined floating around in a draft pool. It feels a little samey to me.

>>51100695
>>51100704

>CM01

I didn't think about devotion initially, but I have now. Devotion and Harmony want to do really similar things but I want tokens to get involved in the action and Devotion has a flavor connection associated with it that just doesn't fit the theme I'm going for. The best way to describe the G/W faction are as human supremacists whose first goal right now is to deal with the revolutionaries of the city and get shit in order. They're not particularly concerned about worship at the moment.

>CM03

This one was kinda rushed, but I wanted a kill spell for the Green/White. It was on the list to redo and your criticism confirms it.

>CM05

It's hard to tell because there's only the one card, but Eureka does more than select multiple modes. If I get time this week I'll try and really hash out my White/Blue faction to give you a better look at the whole picture.

>CM06

Yes, you're completely right here. This was another rushed card. I realized I needed a common to have rebound for the faction, so I just hammered something out. I like your idea a lot though. Now the question is CMC 4 or 5?

>CM07

I was toying with a version with delve, but I ultimately decided against it. I might just still make the better version of it though.

>CM10
>CR04

I think I got myself confused at some point cause looking at these now I have to agree. I need to redo the flavor on all of those.

>CM18

Thanks for the catch!

>CM11

I forgot they keyworded fight, actually. I know salvage is a risky mechanic, so I'm dancing around it, but I hope that it gets shuffled back into the library helps really limit the chance for abuse.

>>51108345
oops just realized the retardation of giving an indestructible creature first strike. maybe it should be double strike instead, but have him only have 5 power to start with.

also raiden's fight mechanic can't utilize first strike so it actually kinda sucks

im really bad at this

>>51104476

Hot holy damn. I like it. "You get to do this, but just once."

>>51104489
>>51104503

Saving these as all stars.

>>51105077

Crazy strong, but you already knew this. Maybe make it a colored creature to prevent Eldrazi shenanigans?

>>51108385
>CM06
Well, I'd say 5 CMC just to be on the safe side. It's basically Temporal Spring plus 2 for having Rebound.

>CM11
Yeah, like I said, I think people will use it more for drawing a card than the chance to actually get the card back. I can see people using it in the late game when their graveyards are full of Salvage cards and use all their spare mana to dig for their wincon.

>>51105086
This seems fun.

>>51108209
The treefolk. Thanks for not outright insulting the cards.

>>51108596
>>51107372
>Josenf
Not really sure how to improve this, as there isn't really a lot to go on. Maybe Treefolk or Defender interactions.

>Kristoff
Wow, there are way fewer goat creatures in Magic than I thought. Sad. Anyway, I think it would be better if it had Green rather than Blue and focused more on making tokens and saccing them for effects rather than something that is Goat tribal, since there isn't too much to go on for them.

>Joardo
I think just ditching the Blue and making him RG would help a lot. Not really sure what to do after that.

>Raeleigh
Not sure about this one. The first thing that comes to mind are the Goblin tribal tutors, but I'm not entirely sure how this compares to them.

>Donahl
I think I'd either make it nonland permanent or
>Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player, that player sacrifices that many permanents.

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>>51108345
>Raiden
The Fight ability at the end just seems tacked on, and doesn't really make sense when the rest of the card, taken by itself, says that it wants to be in combat as often as possible.

>Nanomachines meme
What is the context of that meme? I'd normally look up the video online, but I think looking at this game will give me cancer. Anyway, last ability seems really odd. What's the flavor for it?

>Smirk.gif
Kinda laughing at how you didn't realize MSE already put in the reminder text for you. Anyway, the card just feels kinda boring, nothing really stands out. Isn't this guy supposed to be an ultra badass or something? I dunno, again, cancer.

>>51109790
>Kinda laughing at how you didn't realize MSE already put in the reminder text for you

oh i didn't write in that reminder text, i guess MSE wrote it twice for some reason

also if you don't understand the flavor and you refuse to learn it, then why even bother replying

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>>51109882
>oh i didn't write in that reminder text, i guess MSE wrote it twice for some reason
Never seen that before. You didn't just copy/paste Bushido 3 from a card and accidentally include the reminder text?

>also if you don't understand the flavor and you refuse to learn it, then why even bother replying
Because I can still look at the mechanics and say what works and what doesn't. Like with Raiden and Sam. Honestly, something that bugs me is how sometimes people will say they'd like to give me feedback on cards, but they don't know the lore. At the end of the day, mechanics are what's most important, and having them reflect the lore is just secondary.

>>51110009
In lore, Jetstream Sam is a samurai that lives to fight, and also happens to be the best duelist. He also has a taunt move in the game, which gets enemies to attack him. I didn't want to overdesign him with tons of bells and whistles because overdesigned legendaries are dumb. Instead, he's a samurai that taunts creatures to attack, which is basically the only viable way I could come up for Bushido to ever be viable in Commander

>ultra badass

He actually eats shit and dies near the end of the game. By the way you talk like a 15-year-old, no offense

Also Armstrong's lore is that he's a politician that wants to be voted president in America and lead it to a new golden age through might is right politics. He's practically unkillable due to nanomachines which is why he's indestructible. The whole "tap a human to give him powers" is supposed to reflect that he's both a leader-type character that needs the support of his people as well as a brutish force of nature that likes to take things into his own hands.

>At the end of the day, mechanics are what's most important, and having them reflect the lore is just secondary

Actually wrong imo. mechanics guide the card-generation process, but in the end, flavor is what makes it a character reflected in a card instead of just a playing card. see: feldon breaking the color pie over his knee because his lore wills it

>>51110165
>Sam
The taunt is a good design choice. And it was also good of you not to overdesign him. I'm not entirely sure about Bushido, but I've never really liked that keyword much. Maybe some sort of pump that scales with the number of creatures or the greatest power?

>15-year-old
Sue me.

>Armstrong
I feel like to reflect being a leader, he should interact with other creatures, or just Humans, in a way that helps them, rather than just helping himself. Maybe something like a pump that affects everyone, or an anthem effect.


>flavor is what makes it a character reflected in a card instead of just a playing card.
I just don't think I'm explaining it well, but there are almost always going to be concessions you have to make in order for the card to play well, even if it breaks flavor, even a little. I guess if I had to choose something in Magic, it's like how Walls are obviously things that aren't alive but are still classified as creatures, even though pretty much every card that interacts with creatures treats whatever creature it interacts with as though it were alive, but doesn't go out of its way to say "non-Wall creature". Again, probably just not explaining it clearly. But I will say that you should never be afraid to cut something or change something just because it won't 100% reflect the character.

>Feldon
How does he break the pie? Red loves making temporary clone tokens. Probably the strangest things about it are that it turns the token into an artifact and that it chooses a creature card from the graveyard. As for the artifact part, it's a really small concession that doesn't have much impact so it's pretty fine, and Red's been getting more and more stuff tied to artifacts and creation anyway. As for the graveyard, it's just a generic resource zone used for many things, so it shouldn't be too surprising when Red uses it.

>>51110461
>>I feel like to reflect being a leader, he should interact with other creatures, or just Humans, in a way that helps them, rather than just helping himself. Maybe something like a pump that affects everyone, or an anthem effect.

oh he's a selfish fuck. he wants to "make america great again" but his ulterior motive is to make himself rich and powerful, not to really help the american people. i feel like it works thematically in the sense that he's a leader who needs the support of others, but when it comes down to it, he only cares about making himself more powerful.

>>51110563
>but when it comes down to it, he only cares about making himself more powerful.
Probably the most direct way to show that is sac effects. Or some static ability that makes him better depending on how many other creatures you control. I'm just really not seeing the activated ability that taps a creature as reflecting that well.

>>51031374
i think he wants it to have double strike but does not actually want it to have double strike deathtouch

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Should this be rare? I'm having second thoughts. It's based off an older card, but the activation cost is colorless and it costs 3.

Other alternative is to make it rare and make the activation cost 1W.

>>51110628
I don't really see this as White. Green or Black, easy, but not really White. But as far as the rest goes, I think uncommon works because you still have to pay mana, but I'm not sure about the cost. 1W I think would work though.

>>51105109
Eh, seems interesting. Kinda hard to tell by itself though.

>>51110999
>I don't really see this as White. Green or Black, easy, but not really White.

Nice trips, and yeah I'd been theorizing different ways that white could have "card draw". Seems like it just doesn't work the way I wanted, though.

Thanks for the advice! I'll scrap it and consider something else.

>>51113490
Why did you put card draw in quotes? Anyway, yeah, one of White's weaknesses is lack of draw. I'm pretty sure it's the second worst color in draw, only just above Red. Actually, yeah, here's a list

http://magiccards.info/query?q=c%21w+o%3Awhenever+o%3Adraw&v=card&s=issue

It's not perfect, but most of the cards here allow repeatable draws. There are only 12 cards here, compared to the 83 I got when I changed the same search to look at mono-Blue cards, and 51 I got for mono-Green. But again, it's not perfect.

Anyway, lack of card draw is a definite weakness of White, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad, since every color needs strengths and weaknesses. If I had to make a White draw engine, I think I'd just make basically Stone Haven Outfitter, but swap "equipped" for "enchanted."

>>51108385
>The only one I really want to nitpick here is Plenitude. The care is fine, but you have Urban Evolution in the previous set too, right?
Yes, I do.
>It might be just me, but if I was doing a full set draft I don't know how I'd feel about having two or three of those combined floating around in a draft pool. It feels a little samey to me.
That's fair. I designed this one as more of a divination variant with an upside, but the two are undeniably similar. I just want to make sure that the big mana themes of the set are accessible. What would you suggest for Plenitude?

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Fly, my loyal samurai! Die honorably, my loyal... birds!

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>>51115676
Probably too cheap at 3, given Gruesome Encore and Ashen Powder.

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Trying different art for Talia. I like the Adam Hughes art, but I think I'd prefer something else for the card.

>>51115238
I think I'd like it more if it just made Bird Samurai tokens.

>>51115782
Eh, nothing too flashy about it, seems like it could be fun though. So, are you making a set or what?

>>51115932
>So, are you making a set or what?
Nah, still doing the "this art looks cool, lets make it a card!" thing. Too lazy for overall design and too scattered for designing tight things like commons and uncommons.

Also I don't play enough "regular" magic (i.e. Standard and Limited) to really design a set that would be anything but EDH staples.

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>>51116062
Huh. I was wondering because the name Chione, Daughter of Boreas sounds like it has lore behind it. Oh, nevermind, just looked it up, it's Greek stuff.

>Also I don't play enough "regular" magic (i.e. Standard and Limited) to really design a set that would be anything but EDH staples.
Yeah, same.