Stupid shit you've done in a game

>find dead bodies with treasure in their laps and WE WERE FOOLS written on the wall in blood
>pick up treasure

rolled martial in PF game

I handed a man we had captured a gun and told him to shoot himself in the foot and we'd let him live.

He was too stupid to take the offer, and not accurate enough to hit me.

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>pirate campaign
>kill crew of another pirate ship
>notice captain was wearing a really nice silver ring
>pick it up and it sucks itself down onto my finger
>think "well he obviously kept it for a reason"
>think "maybe it's a ring that gives a curse but also lets you breathe underwater! :O"
>throw self over ship railing
>ring turns rusty and instantly gets as heavy as an anchor
>only survived because our rig monkey knew I was about to fucking die and dove in with the whaling hoist right when I jumped

>take bear trap
>Attach bear trap in the open and loaded position on my shield
>First encounter afterwards is against orcs
>Orc lunges at me with spear
>step inside his lunge and shield slam him
>Bear trap triggers and bits into orc
>Orc now attached to shield
>Orc body shield to heavy and unwieldy
>Have to leave orc body shield behind to fight the rest

Not my brightest idea but I thought it was fuckin cool.

>>50966559

Where the fuck do these pirates find this kind of treasure.

>>50962770
>Spray paint my runner name on my chest because it's "cool".
I love that being distinctive is an actual disadvantage that you can take for points. And you just went up and took it for free.

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>>50962770
>Party gets framed for kidnapping a countess's daughter.
>Elite guard comes to arrest our party.
>Rest of the party gets the fuck out, I end up being the straggler and getting caught.
>Get thrown into dungeon, beaten, burned, and generally tortured to the brink of death, but not killed because the Guard Captain wants to make us suffer.
>Manage to escape my cell, get back above ground which is basically on the palace grounds.
>Unarmed, at like 2 health, covered in blood, wearing prisoner rags, only a few spell slots left.
>My best choice now is to burn my spell slots on vanish and escape the palace grounds, and eventually try to escape the city or find the rest of the party before the guards do.
>Instead I use my vanish spells to sneak into the countess's private quarters, and basically throw myself at her mercy begging and pleading and crying as a bloody mess mess in rags that we didn't do anything and that's why I'm here instead of running.
>Rest of the party looks at me like "Welp, GG."
>It ended up working and keeping us all alive.

>>50962770
> Shadowrun
My character is super loyal to the party, because they're best friends forever.
She thinks using a sword on rollerskates is a great idea.
Even though her backstory explains her cyberware with 'fell off a truck and got run over by it while using a sword on rollerskates'.

Running a game of my own, I have had to remind players there is no 'driving' skill. Only 'diving' and 'pilot ground craft'. Not doing so nearly led to a game where nobody could drive a car, but everyone could hold their breath for ten minutes.
I explained Contacts to one player as 'your cousin Cletus or someone like that', and they added Cousin Cletus to their list.