Stat her, /tg/

I think thats a guy

>>50928043
What's her nature?

>>50928057
Timid. Very timid.

>>50928043
HP 68
Attack 65
Defense 65
Sp. Atk 125
Sp. Def 115
Speed 80

Psychic/Fairy

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>>50928043
>>50928055

https://youtube.com/watch?v=GMLwSkzT5lI&

renandstimpy.swf

>>50928043
>[3.5 owlbear statblock].meme

>>50928043
Lv15 Psion, Lawful Good alignment. Flaw: Will deliberately and compulsively endanger its own life to protect the one it considers its master.

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>>50928109
>Psychic/FAIRY

Get your new gen shit out of here. We play Pokemon 3.5 around here, where the Fairy type doesn't exist yet.

Damn Gen 5'ers and their dumbed down no-options garbage.

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>>50928043
Best Waifu, also a Not!Elf.

>>50930111
What's going on here?

>>50929829
Enjoy dragons filling your assistance all day and night.

>>50930125
Gardevoir's trying to kiss their master, but he won't let them.

>>50930125
This is the part where you mash circle

>>50930291
Or alternatively if your playing the Human, you don't.

>>50930111
>>50930125
>>50930276
>Not fitting your Pokemon with the Macho Brace

>>50928043

+2 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, -1 Strength, -2 Constitution: Gardevoirs are naturally intelligent, although their physical strength is greatly lacking.
Humanoid
Medium: No bonuses or penalties from size
Gardevoir base land speed is 30 feet
Naturally Psionic: Gardevoirs start off with 1 power point at first level.
Natural Telekinesis(Ps): Gardevoirs have a very high telekinetic capability. As a free action, they may use Mage Hand without penalty. At level ten, they can also use Telekinesis as a free action.
Natural Telepathy(Ps): Gardevoirs may project their thoughts to targets up to 50ft away. They may send thoughts in any language they can speak or read, although the target must be able to speak the language to understand it. They may also attempt to read the surface thoughts; the target must either be willing or fail a Will save (DC 15 + the Gardevoir's level) for the thoughts to be read. This is a standard action.
Elegant: All Gardevoirs earn a +2 to their Perform skills OR to their Profession skills, at the player's decision. This can not affect both Perform and Profession, and is determined at the character's creation. Perform and Profession become trained if they are selected.
Sense Emotions: All Gardevoirs have a +2 bonus to Spot, Search, Sense Motive, Diplomacy and Listen checks if the target is alive. Undead creatures do not count as alive for this purpose. The DM applies this bonus secretly, should it apply.
Automatic Languages: Ralian, Common. Bonus Languages: Any (except for secret languages, such as Druidic)
Favored Class: Wizard, Sorcerer or any Psion.

>>50930276

Pokemon and Trainers should not have that kind of a relationship! The Trainer is right to refuse his Gardevoir's lusty advances!

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>>50930471

Says who? Humans and Pokemon used to get married, after all.

>>50930532

>Gardevoir
>Wearing a turtleneck
>Not her signature dress

Absolutely disgusting!

Gardevoir's obsessed with making sure their trainers are taken care of and happy! She'll use her considerable psychic powers to make sure senpai's out of harms way, even if that means quitting as a trainer!

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>>50930532
And she has any say in it, they will again.

Size/Type: Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+14
Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab
Special Qualities: Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Track
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

You are all irredeemable

>>50929829
Dumbass hoennbaby doesnt even know what he's talking about, Fairy was Gen 6

>>50930650

>Sharpedo
>Bannette

I like this trainer. Rad Pokemon > Waifu Pokemon

>>50930771>Gardevoir
>Large
Macrophile detected under all that anger

>>50930881
>implying the pasta is different for any of these garbage threads

>>50930913
Shut the fuck up

>>50930771
the quality of a stat me thread's prompt is directly proportional to how many comments in it will take for somebody to post the owlbear statblock.

ergo this stat me thread is damn good and there's nothing you can do to change it.

>>50931115
Sometimes I wonder if these are still being posted by the guy who originally forced the meme, or if someone else thought it was funny.

>>50931394
Probably out of sense of tradition I guess?

>nothing you can do to change it.
You're not wrong, but >>50931115 this sort of off-topic meta-post kills thread quality
My posts not doing the thread any favors either, mind

>>50931394 >>50931463
I post it all the time, and it was here when I joined the board

>>50931463
Tradition of old, quite a stale meme.
At least it's not raining "Excuse me,..." Memes. Gods, those are awful.

>>50931394
they are a staple of /tg/ at this point. there's only ever a problem if there are like five of them floating around at the same time. one to three and i'm fime with it. four and you'd be pushing it.

Really as long as the subjects are intresting i'm fine with it.

>>50930650
>>50930804
Based on the fantasy his team seems to be: Sceptile, Salamance, Banette, Sharpedo, Skitty, Gardevoire.

That trainer has fantastic taste.

>>50932399
Most likely a Delcatty rather than just a skitty.

Walking into the Elite 4 with a plain skitty is almost as bad as walking in with a Feebas.

>>50932424
Not as bad as showing up to a World clas event with a pachirisu though.

>>50932683
To be fair, the fact that Magikarp sweep teams exist means that pretty much anything is possible.

>>50932424
The tail and pink-ish colouration makes me think Skitty.

I did go into the Elite 4 with an Eevee one time though, despite being about 5-6 levels lower (screw victory road and Gen 5's elite 4 being mostly resistant to normal types) it still did a bit of work.

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>>50932683
There were better options, but hey whatever works. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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>>50932399
>>50932424

>>50933059
>Sharpedo waifu
good shit

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>>50930111

Have you ever heard of a wizard in a relationship with their familiar? Familiars are intelligent, and a ring of polymorph self isn't too hard to get.

>>50933217
>ring of polymorph
That's extra steps.
>relationship with their familiar
Implicit, familiar literally means family.

>>50933402
>Implicit, familiar literally means family.
The literal meaning stopped mattering about... Actually, I don't know.

>>50933059
>...hug...?

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Goddamnit, I already loved Shupett and Banette based on their pokedex descriptions, but seeing one actually being cute is too much.

>>50928043
sometimes I fantasize about stating every single pokemon as normal fantasy races but always give up about three in when I realize just how big a number 700+ is

>>50928043
Gardevoir
Psychic/Fairy
Level: 60
Item: Gardevoirite
Loyalty: 6
Female
Nature: Timid (+Spe/-Atk)
Trace/Telepathy/Instinct
1.6m(Medium)/48.4kg(3)

Overland 6, Swim 4, Jump 2/1, Power 4, Aura Reader, Naturewalk (Forest/Urban), Telekinetic, Telepath, Teleporter 4
Athl 2d6, Acro 2d6+1, Combat 3d6, Stealth 2d6, Percep 4d6, Focus 6d6

HP: 24
Atk: 5
Def: 10
SpA: 30
SpD: 28
Spe: 27

Hit Points: 143
Phys Evade: 2
Spec Evade: 5
Speed Evade: 5

Shadow Ball
Moonblast
Barrier
Psychic
Teleport

>>50928043
A bro.

Waifufags can have a different opinion to me, quietly, somewhere else.

>>50933978
800

>>50930324
Man, I need to read that again. Good stuff.

>>50930798

>>50929829

>3.5
>5
>no options

...gee, anon, it's almost as though he were referencing some other game that had an edition war or something.

>>50930798
>missing the joke
or am I falling to 9d chess?

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>>50929829
>Playing Pokemon 3.5.
>Not updating to PTU or Pokerole like the rest of us.

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10/10 on the Waifu Meter

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>This thread

>>50934185
There's not enough good chastity stuff around, and 99% of it is male.

>>50934738
That man's reaction was entirely justified.

Holy shit.

>>50934970
>Implying any of that ever actually happened

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>>50934636

>>50930532
>>50930471
Pokemon+human is probabaly ok but Pokemon+Tranier probably a no-go the same way student+teacher is considered fucked up.

>>50936514

...I seem to recall it said somewhere that pokeballs actually influence the mind of pokemon when they are caught to make them more obedient.

>>50928043
+10 Porn Generation
+10 morals degredation

>>50937218
Alright so I can fuck machamp or mewoth or whatever if i walk out into the woods and ask it out on a date but if i get that bitch in a pokeball ya gotta keep that shit platonic for Ethical reasons.

>>50937218
Isn't that only for certain types of pokeballs?

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+20 a best

>>50937540
Luxury and Friend ball make them Friendly faster. Presumably since they're comfier?

>>50934636
11/10

>>50928043
+10 waifubait
+10 ridiculous psionic powers
+10 cute

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High int low wis, at least

What was Nintendo thinking?

>>50938092
>Sun and Moon features a female-only lizard pokemon that uses pheromones that can control humans as well
Game Freak lives up to their name.

>>50938061
Since it's based on empathy, it should have high cha.

>>50938180
S&M have some fucking crazy ass Pokemon entries, man.

Like, I guess they decided that shit should get fucking real in Alola.

>>50938092
perfection

>>50938234
I mean, Alolan Meowth is Dark type because regular Meowths all died out because the local trainers thought Meowth was a garbage pokemon.
Primeape apparently gets so angry sometimes that it will fucking DIE

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>>50938350
Fuck, they published this picture. I mean, Jesus.

>>50938234
>S&M have some fucking crazy ass...
as a member of that community I can agree...

>>50938492
Sun and Moon might as well have been named "Pokémon Cute" and "Pokémon Waifu".

>>50938234

I feel like some of the more out-there entries might be the fact that your dex is possessed by a poltergeist, who is probably messing with you for shits and giggles.

>>50938525
oh my...

>>50938350
Or that one pokemon that just eats hundreds of Corsola and leaves their corpses behind on the ocean floor.

>>50938956

To be fair, from the NPC talking about it, it sounds like they mostly just eat Corsola's branches and leave the body alone, but this is an utterly terrifying experience for Corsola.

>>50939046
Mareanie Eats the branches and leaves the corsola
Toxapex Does the opposite. For fun

>>50939093
To be fair, the starfish they're based on is just as ravenous.

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>>50937648
+30*

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Stat them, /tg/

>>50934636
More like 10/10 on the entry-level tier garbage meter

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>>50939333
>I take elitist pride in waifu-ing the weirdest of Pokémon. You can't really have good taste unless nobody's heard of your waifu.

There's Harmless Waifu-faggotry, and then there's shit like this asshole.

>>50939369
>abloobloo someone shit on my overrated waifumon

Stay salty, my dude.

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>Trace
>Emotion Reading
>Forges powerful bonds
>Gardevoir take on the traits of beings near them

>>50939333
trips of truth

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stat him

>>50939427
Is that... is that his tongue?

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>>50939390
>Gardevoir gets fat and develops some odd fetishes
I'd welcome it

>>50939427
-10 vs Fire Types in Tournaments.

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>>50939390
>Gardevoir take on the traits of beings near them
Well that's a recipe for disaster.

>>50939436
yes

>>50939453
God, that must be uncomfortable.
Also,
-10 vs. Charizard

>>50939436
Yep..

>>50939427
BURASTO

>>50939460
Already done >>50939445

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>>50939437
>>50939390
Can I have a blank, please?

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Stat them.

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>>50939505
>She only evolves if she knows stomp
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>>50939538
PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGUE

>>50937540
Afraid not. There's Purrloin in BW2 that was stolen from a family five years before the events of the game. When finally located, it's entirely loyal to the abductor, who has a small speech about the cause being the Pokeball it was in, and that being the fate of all Pokemon in Pokeballs. The game makes no effort to refute this iirc.

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>>50939850

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>>50939850
That's a pretty tame dream to be having, thought she would have a better imagination then that.

>>50939908
>handholding
>tame
Go back to d, perv.

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>>50939966
I THINK HE'S IN EXACTLY THE RIGHT PLACE...

>>50939390
>>50938061
>>50930532
>Amorphous Egg Group

Even if you successfully brainwashed it with a Pokeball, even if it imitated your grotesque feelings, even if you emotionally abused it too some unthinkable point, you still couldn't sex it. It doesn't have the parts. Unless you lower half is actually a chandelier, you simply can't interact with it.

>oral tho

Have you seen it's neck? Unless you have an actual pindick that's not even remotely viable.

>that just makes it tight

That just makes it how you irreparably damage a Pokemon. Damaging the throat's support and causing it to collapse prevents medicine intake and causes suffocation, and good fucking luck focusing mid death throes if you were intending for it to teleport to a Pokecentre. Maybe you were hoping for it to telekinetically hold it's own throat open? You think it has that surgical precision from training to telekinetically hit things as hard as possible?

And even if you did, how are you going to explain that either that or the scarring to a nurse?

>>50940007
There's having a spanking fetish, and then there's this.

>>50940038
2 THINGS...

1.) WILDLY VARIABLE IMPACT-PROFILES

2.) I MAKE AND SELL IN MY LOCAL COMMUNITY

>>50940032
As discussed, humans and Pokemon used to interact far more freely in the past.

>>50940032
>It doesn't have the parts.
Pretty sure it has, just under skirt.

>>50940049
Oh, I've got no problem with the width, it's more about the depth...

>>50940038
You wouldn't dominate your Gardevoirs delightfully delicate derrière? No? Your loss then, weirdo.

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>>50928055
>>50928378

>>50940067
I'm more into denial, myself. Why inflict pain when pleasure can be so much more effective?

>>50940062
>it's more about the depth...
IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE ORKS
NEVER ENUFF WHACKA

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>>50940032

I have to assume pokemon sex doesn't really work how it does for humans and normal animals.

If you're not convinced, then YOU explain this, smart guy.

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>>50940032
>not having mindmeld orgasm sharing brainsex with your waifu

Do you even Psychic types?

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>>50940088
Anon everybody! Give him a hand!

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>>50940067
>delicate
I actually have things too big and heavy to swing on anyone you could describe as "petite" or "delicate" unless they're into broken pelvises.

>>50940079
the opposite side of the line from me. neither better or worse.

the real artists though, the most skilled, tread the fine line down the middle like the tightrope that it is. I approach it sometimes(the blue-green-black braided flogger, hitachi, the fire-wands that didn't make it into the pic), but I inevitably fall off to my favorite side.

>>50940115
...I've never earned a rimshot before.

>>50940049
Then what's with the back scratcher rake looking thing?

>>50940054
There's a stigma about it present day, however, probably due to health, safety, and abuse issues like which I described.

>>50940058
>Amorphous Egg Group

There are no Pokemon in the Amorphous egg group that even overlap with any Pokemon the Human-Like egg group. None.

>>50940103
I mean, pindicks and/or hyperactive sperm.

>>50940113
If you show me a move or ability that allows for full blown mindmelds I'll concede the point. Though, with it being hyper empathic it probably could enjoy an orgasm with a with a pretty literal 'vicariously'.

The only things you have to morally contend with then is Pokeball brainwashing and abuse of trust as a trainer.

>>50930276
>plural pronoun for a single entity
>>>/tumblr/
>>>/english/

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>>50940290
>not accepting them as both the plural pronoun and the neuter singular pronoun that English sorely lacks

>>50933059
>>50930650
>>50930111
What are these from? Some sort of webcomic? Can't find a source

>>50940317
Artist's name is Bano Akira.

>>50940248
first, it's for when my fingernails are too short

second, when combined with candles a small propane torch or other heat sources they can be more fun

third, when combined with a Violet or Neon wand kit(it's like a desktop plasma-globe at 20 times the voltage and an effective arc range of around 1 inch) it's even MORE FUN THAN THAT...

fourth, if you have a subject that marks up with a good level of contrast then it's great for inscribing clean sharp parallel lines in your skin-art. (this can also be good for planning knife and needle play)

fifth, you can tap the sharp tips against a sensitive/sensitized area for an interesting prickling effect.

sixth, with a little pressure they break the skin enough that chemicals like menthol, alcohol, topical lidocane, hot-sauce etc., have either a deeper effect or a more exaggerated one in places.

and that .188 steel wirelineing wire is like, SUPER EASY to clean and keeps its shape all the way into incandescent heats...

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>>50940032
Honest to god, How even is Gardevoir in the same Egg Group as slime, sentient clouds, and a fucking chandelier, instead of in Human-like. Bipedal, forward bending knees, displays facial expressions, social animal with importance placed up on the familial unit, It is one of the most Human like Pokémon in the game! I'm actually curious as to what the fuck Gamefreak was thinking.

>>50940290
The singular they has been in use since the 14th century, you knuckle-dragging toglodyte. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

Also, get the fuck outta here, prescriptivist scum.

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>>50940371
My headcanon is this: The thing we think of as Gardevoir is actually a psychic construct made of manifest emotions. The actual Pokemon is the red crystal in its "chest" or as the horn of Ralts and Kirlia.

>>50940371
Someone on the art team had the foresight to know that this particular pokemon would create a metric ton of porn, so told someone in coding to put her in a different egg group. OR she doesn't look humanoid enough to justify being in the human egg group. The very same group that contains Jynx is saying something...

>>50940420
WE

someone please get what I'm trying to do with this so I don't look like a total dumbass

>>50934185
Link?

>>50940436

I get what you mean, but I don't know if you're trying to get to a particular place with it.

>>50940436
w-wuz

>>50940436
Wrong board, friend.

>>50940544
>>50940565
This thread belongs in /vp/ to begin with, if moderu-san is to be believed desuyo

>>50940591
B-baka.

>>50940436
ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS!

Seriously guys Anon was replying to a post that had a headcanon that basically turned Gardevoirs into Crystal Gems, and Crystal gems are a popular way to combo-break "WE WUZ KANGZ" posts.

>>50940436
>>50940613

I honestly have no idea what the fuck this is.

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>>50940032
Why the fuck would I want to sully my waifu with sex

Man don't be disgusting

What the fuck man why you gotta be making this all weird.

She's a pokemon, not a human

You can't go fucking that

Fuck outta here

>>50940700
>>50940706
>>50940714
>>50940718
I am aroused and ashamed, but also curious.

Positive reinforcement is a hell of a drug.

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>>50940694
>You can't go fucking that
WATCH ME

>>50940694
You can in Sinnoh...

>>50940754
>>50940771
Disgusting

Platonic love is perfect

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>>50940794
Married love is more perfect!

>>50940762
Wow, my search for sauce led me to some weird places on that one.

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I seriously don't get how people don't understand the appeal of Gardevoir. Even putting aside her design just look at her entries.

>Gardevoir has the psychokinetic power to distort the dimensions and create a small black hole. This Pokémon will try to protect its Trainer even at the risk of its own life.

>It has the power to predict the future. Its power peaks when it is protecting its Trainer.

So on top of being cute and feminine she's completely loyal and loves you unconditionally. What's not to like?

>>50940843
she is often a man

and that is gay

>>50940843
People get weird about it though

Just look at this thread

>>50940843
they aren't used to people being killable in the games. it basically makes it an empty statement.

it never comes up that the gardevoir needs to protect it's trainer like that in game right?
(I have exactly 40 total hours playing ANY pokemon game ever so I don't actually know)

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Gallade never gets any love. I blame Game Freak for not inventing him until Gen IV.

>>50940913
Gallade never gets any love because it flat isn't as good as Gardevoir and requires more effort to get it

It should be fairy/fighting, not psychic/fighting

>>50940912
Well there was one point in Black/White 2 where the BBEG straight up tries to skewer you with ice spears, but that's the only time in any of the games I remember somebody explicitly trying to kill you.

>>50940938
I'm pretty sure Beast Lusamine was meant to attempt to kill you, but it's pretty clear that whole storyline was changed late in development.

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>>50940957
I haven't played Sun and Moon so I have no clue.

But the PCs in the games are basically one man armies anyway. It'd take a lot to actually hurt them when they're literally tossing out deities from balls to serve them.

>>50940103
Simple: https://youtu.be/0GKy3kdQA2k

>>50941006
>tfw you'll never summon a god to teach some punks a lesson and protect the honor of your girlfriend.

>>50940843
It's only particularly feminine in fanart. Also almost all Pokemon are completely loyal and love you unconditionally because, you know, Pokeballs.

But you're right, I just hate the fandom for irrevocably sexualizing my bro.

>>50940448
https://exhentai.org/g/491599/fee621639f/
Enjoy.

>>50941535
>It's only particularly feminine in fanart
I call bullshit. Gardevoir's always looked like a thin woman in a white dress.

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>>50941556
Yeah, but its canon appearance is still pretty alien.

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>>50941556
It was a paper doll with fish-eyes.

>>50941713
Are you going to try to tell me those paper dolls aren't feminine?

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>>50941636
That depends on what makes up the canon for you.
This is an illustration from the anime.

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>>50941720
... Yes? The left is pretty obviously something like this.

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>>50941729
What.

>>50941729
Wasn't that from the same scene where Espeon was giving Meowth "fuck me" eyes as well?

>>50941815
>that manjaw
Is she actually a trap?

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>>50941834
Yes. It was from the already fucked-up Mimikyu episode.

>>50940032
Egg groups don't mean shit really. Biologically there's no reason to believe it's not built like a human down there, with a sensitive birth canal and everything.
All that the egg groups really mean are that for whatever reason Gardevoir eggs can be fertilized by say, a Muk, but not by a Machamp.

>>50933978
Well, considering some of the separate numbers are are either evolutions, or direct variations, that number will decrease by a bit.

>>50928043
Pokemon GSC was the best edition.

All the later ones added on too much superficial shit.

>>50941848
>a man in some stereotypical Samurai garb

I mean, it's a trap in the sense that you might get stabbed.

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>>50941899
>here's the evidence that this doesn't make sense
>WELL IGNORE THAT AND JUST LISTEN TO ME

>>50941856
Meowth's fantasies have always been weird though. At least this one didn't have Giovanni boxing a Chansey.

>>50941998
>Evidence
You didn't post any evidence, you claimed "Yeah well she's in this egg group and not this one" like it means anything at all.
Why would the "human-like" egg group be equipped like humans down there?

The human-like egg group has, among other things: A frog, a mineral ghost, aliens, edgy chess pieces, a BIRD, and two different types of BUGs
Egg groups don't mean shit for what you can stick your dick in. Especially since everything reproduces by magically generated eggs anyway.

>>50940274
>If you show me a move or ability that allows for full blown mindmelds I'll concede the point.

Abilities aren't so strictly codified, even in the games. So your requirement is not sound.

>>50928043
>Hey, there are a bunch of monsters around capable of doing supernatural shit, what do we do?
>LET'S ENSLAVE THEM AND FORCE THEM TO DO DIRTY WORK AND ENTERTAIN US!
Really makes you think, huh.
I mean, Pokemon Stadium isn't that far off from Pokemon Coliseum. The only thing that's missing is chariot racing.

>>50942154
There was episode about pokemon racing, though. When Ash had to rent Rapidash because all his pokemons suck.

>>50942094
For the record, the pokemon list here is
Croagunk/Toxicroak, Sableye, LGM/BEM, Pawniard/Bisharp, Hwalucha, and Volbeat/Illumise

There's also >>50942132
Psychic types can do and have done a lot of crazy vision/mind melding shit all over the anime and manga, even mind melding shit. And I wouldn't doubt it from a psychic type that knows how to trace and synchronize things.
I mean, it can apparently mind meld the feeling of being burned among others to it's opponent via synchronize.

>>50942154
Eh the series and games have gone out of their way to show that most pokemon are pretty happy with the current arrangement. It's really a symbiotic thing.

>>50942195
>Have to fight for your life in nature.
>Get transcended above the food chain, and in response you get to fight and train to be stronger as well as free healing and food.

From what we've seen it seems like most pokemon are predisposed to some kind of combat by their nature, and the ones that hate it are fairly rare (and in the anime, the plot is usually "you need to get over your fear of fighting to save your trainer!" or something).

>>50942011
>Giovanni boxing a Chansey
Did he beat that egg?

>>50940436
WUZ

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>>50941729
This is an animation from the games.
I'm not into tentacles.

>>50940032
Dude... pokemon medicine is typically spray on. I mean, you can feed them bitter garbage herbs if you're too stingy to buy the good stuff, I guess. Or, just go to a PMC and get the thing digitally healed.

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>>50942352
That's her dress separating because she keeps floating up and down. She has legs under there. Always has.
It's more obvious in the 3d stadium games but I don't have those on me.

>>50940913
Gallade does get a stylin shiny mega form. Gardevoir gets a fancy black dress.

>>50942440
But her butthole must be tiny

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Where is the statblock anon

You said there would be statblock

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>>50940913
>never gets any love
>posts the fucking Mega

HYPOCRITE THAT YOU ARE

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>>50940913
>>50942538
A shit

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>>50940923
>Gallade never gets any love because it flat isn't as good
Heard u wuz talkin shit m8. Let's see if a couple crits will change your tune.

>>50942701
Rotating photos is pretty trivial, anon.

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>>50939436
Yes.

>>50943186
>post pic as-is
>gets rotated
>rotate pic before posting
>doesn't get rotated
I've given up on trying. No matter what I do, it comes out sideways.

>>50940312
>a language can lack something that occurs neither in reality or fantasy
Okay, SJW. Sure thing.
>>50940387
>lol people have been writing incorrectly for centuries
>that means trannies are perfectly normal
Try harder next time, you fucking leftist.

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>>50943420
Dunno what's worse, that such low effort trolling exists or that people will post lol/pol/ and feel justified

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>>50943420
>Am I actually this retarded?
>No, it's the other people who have been writing incorrectly for centuries.

>>50943438
>facts are trolling
Enjoy your mental illness, I guess. 0/10 for you.
>>50943465
>no one in the history of human civilization has ever been incorrect except you, so you're a troll
At least that's original, but damn if you're not the most audacious bastard I've ever seen.

>>50943222
Did you make sure to actually save it in a rotated fashion rather than just rotating the way you're viewing the image in, say, Irfanview?

Because I know that some software can be kind of bullshitty about that sometimes. They'll rotate the image within the viewer but not actually rotate the file, if that makes sense.

>>50942538
Finally has dragon dance :^)

>>50940436
heh, I get it
Fucking clods

>>50932880
It was actually the best option he had to fill a very particular niche in a heavily restricted format.

>>50941856
>that pokemon choice
THEY KNOW

>>50944713
They've always known, anon. Just like your parents, they knew from the beginning.

>>50944713
Pokemon Waifu and Slut when ?

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well since this is a gardevoir thread may as well put this thing here

>>50944757
Waifu would obviously sell out faster than Slut.

>>50944713
Newest gen has a female only lizard with thick hips that's literally mentioned to have a "harem" in the Pokedex.

I think they've stopped giving a fuck.

>>50928109
I came to this thread just to see how long it would take for someone to post base stats

>>50944797
What move is that?

>>50944950
Hyper Voice.

>>50944950
She's using defog on the steam around her.

Pokemone are for cute And terrifying, not for lewd.

>>50939850
Dude! blue board!

>>50940113
>that picture
Tfw there's a brand new fourth way to get that much desired kiss (and a whole lot more) in Play Rough

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Gardes are pretty smart, maybe you should ask them what their stats and abilities are

>>50940733
>>50940742
I have a very uncomfortable boner.

>>50940420
That sounds suspiciously like the Crystal Ge-
>>50940436
>>50940613
Oh, I guess these anons beat me to it, in their own weird vague way.

>>50943499
>>50943420
>>50940290
>They, for when the target's gender isn't clear
>As is the case with Gardevoir, who can be either male or female and is not always the latter

Well hey howdy hey fuckface, you're wrong on every single level! Goooooo fuck yourself, you /pol/lack!

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>>50945496
Stop giving him (you)s you fucktard. Just let him get the last word so this stupid arguement can end.

>>50940290
>>50943420
Jesus Christ.
They can be used as singular for a person who's gender is unknown. It's not SJW bullshit, it's fucking standard grammar and has been since the fucking 14th century.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/they
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/they
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/they
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/they
http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/they
https://www.ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=they

Take some fucking elementary school English classes.

>>50945472
>these anons
>plural

Samefag tho.

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>>50945242
But Anon, that would hurt him, and she would never do that!

I can't believe nobody posted this technically SFW picture from the Skypenotized guy.

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>>50946644
Nobody wants to visit your Tumblr.

Besides Cute Gardevoir > Lewd Gardevoir

>>50945242
Gardevoir can't get that, though. Sadly.

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>>50946644
Ask and ye shall receive.

>Flash
>Hypnosis
>Attract
>Draining Kiss

Dat moveset tho.

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Keep going i'm collecting these for an Flist profile

>>50946991
I recognize those trainers! The one on the right is a cow!

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>>50947131
>tfw can't find a scan for a doujin you want

>>50930650
holy shit this guy's team is badass

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Just look in the PTU Pokedex.
Most of the work is done there.

>>50940613
Fucking hell I've had that headcanon for years and never made the connection.

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>>50948613
I-is that an Absol

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>>50949494
Yes, of course.

>>50949577
dat face

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>>50949577
This is not okay

>>50928043
Its a psychic blob that only takes the form of a humanoid and move around thanks to its psychic powers.

>>50930369
I like this.

>>50949659
>this picture

It's funny how accurately it describes my life.

And by funny I mean sad, pathetic, and contemptible.

And by that I mean I cannot self-terminate. You must lower me into the steel.

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>>50949611
Cutest face.

>>50949659
Man, and I didn't even have to post anything lewd.

>>50946991
Why do I love this picture so much?

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>>50939390
>Gardevoir traced [pokemon]'s Big Pecks
>>50939437
>Gardevoir traced [pokemon]'s Thick Fat
The possibilities are endless!

>>50949801
Of course you didn't

This is my life now

>>50950473
Because you have a hypnosis fetish.

>>50951418
It's not that, it's just this picture in particular.

Is it bestiality if it's a pokemon?

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>>50951110
>Big Pecks
Kek

>>50951678
Yes

>>50945397
Just surrender to it. I have.

>>50945397
You should adjust your pants, then.

>>50951678
That's actually a tricky question.

Apparently at least in Sinnoh it used to be a very common thing, and some Pokemon (Alakazam and Metagross come to mind) are /smarter/ than not only the entire human race, but also supercomputers - something that intelligent would know what consent is. I mean, unless the Pokedex lies.

Also, many Ghost-types used to be human themselves, so it gets weird there.

Basically, I wouldn't risk it unless you were absolutely sure it'd be allowed under the rules of your local jurisdiction.

>>50951708
>Apparently at least in Sinnoh it used to be a very common thing
Got a source on that? Pretty curious what the exact wording was.

>>50948613
>>50949577
>>50949801
>tfw absol is treated as a leper due to it being able to predict coming disaster and never showing up to keep it from happening, when all it wants to do is warn and help people.

>>50951727
Canalave Library in Gen 4 has Sinnoh Myths. One of the folk tales says that Pokémon and people used at the same table because "there were no differences between the two" in the localized version. The Japanese apparently mentions marriage specifically.

>>50951807
>be an Absol
>have to watch innocent children die because you're cursed to effectively never make it in time to save anyone
>also nobody can understand your warnings because you can't talk

Being Absol is suffering.

>>50951727
A book in the Canalave Library in D/P/Pt. "Sinnoh Folk Story #3."

>"There once were Pokemon that became very close to humans. There once were humans and Pokemon that ate together at the same table. It was a time when there existed no differences to distinguish the two."

Apparently only the literal translation of the Japanese text refers to marriage, and goes like this.

>"There once were Pokemon that married people. There once were people who married Pokemon. This was a normal thing because long ago people and Pokemon were the same."

Look up "Sinnoh Folk Story 3" if you're looking for more.

>>50951867
>The Japanese apparently mentions marriage specifically.
It apparently mentions it? Let's ask a Japanese person then.

>>50930125
>rape

>>50951911
http://legendsoflocalization.com/did-you-know-people-used-to-marry-pokemon-all-the-time/

Things get changed due to localization all the time.

>>50951727
"Sinnoh Folk Story 1"
Pick clean the bones of Pokémon
caught in the sea or stream.
Thank them for the meals they
provide, and pick their bones clean.
When the bones are as clean as can
be, set them free in the water from
which they came.
The Pokémon will return, fully
fleshed, and it begins anew.

"Sinnoh Folk Story 2"
There lived a Pokémon in a forest.
In the forest, the Pokémon shed its
hide to sleep as a human.
Awakened, the human dons the
Pokémon hide to roam villages.

"Sinnoh Folk Story 3"
There once were Pokémon that
became very close to humans.
There once were humans and Pokémon
that ate together at the same table.
It was a time when there existed no
differences to distinguish the two.

Closest I can find. Direct from the games.

>>50938350
Alolan Meowth is Dark Type because it's prissy purebred bitches, regular Meowth isn't native to Alola at all.

>>50938659
>Rotom is trying to scar a small child for life

>>50940058
That's not a skirt, that's its skin.

>>50952255
It's kind of like a foreskin if you think about it.

>>50952210
Rotom does spend most of the game fucking around.

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>>50951807
>tfw you will never have an absol to warn you about disasters before they happen
>tfw you will never pet an absol

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>>50945242
>Play Rough
Mawile is reserved for Ampharos.

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For research purposes, if you were a 13 year old (gender) traveling alone through the wilderness for months, with only your very close Pokemans, which ones would you be comfortable fugging?

>>50953778
If I were 13, I don't think I'd be thinking about my pokemon in that manner too much.

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>>50953811
Point. 15ish.

>>50953778
i cant be alone in the wolderness for month since km not a moron and have pokemons that can fly

>>50953842
15 year old me definitely had a thing for Gardevoir. Pretty vanilla, but still.

Charisma: 30

>>50953778
>With its astonishing capacity for metamorphosis, it can get along with anything. It does not get along well with its fellow Ditto.
What did they mean by this?

>>50953778
I want the Linoone dick.

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>>50953845
You're in a really big damn forest looking for the very well hidden Pokemon league, clearly.

>>50953811
I guess I matured early. My entire life was in a sexual filter at age 13. And I cooled down to general indifference by 16.
>>50953778
As it were, Kirlia or Gardevoir are really it. I've never really had much attraction to many pokemon, honestly.

>>50953778
>>50953842
>>50953903
Probably the ones that are makin' moves, and also are more hominid than not. Something like Politoed is where I personally draw the line, maybe a little farther back. There's a fuckton of pokemon yo, I can't quite remember where each of them are on the "human-anthro-furry-disney-animal" spectrum.

>>50953891
It's probably a reference to gen 1 where if two Ditto fought each other, they result in an infinite Transform loop that never ends.
Or just a general acknowledgement that facing a Ditto with a Ditto results in having to burn PP until you Struggle to death and that's frustrating and generally unpleasant.

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>>50953778
Not in a sexual manner, but sleeping on a giant, internally heated, fluffy tigerdog would be fucking amazing.

>>50953778
I'd probably be dead of starvation.

>>50954053
Not if you had a Tropius.

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>>50954047
My nigga. Arcanine is my favorite of Gen 1.

>>50953778
Kirlia/Gardevoir. Ditto, because the Transform possibilities are endless. I haven't played any of the newer generation stuff, so IDK the rest of my roster.

>>50953778
None.

>>50953778
Ralts line for sure.

>>50953811
Really? 13ish was where my libido hit, personally.

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>>50953778
>Be 13
>Be out in the woods on a journey because fire-breathing dogfighting champ in the making
>Sleep in a giant pile of somewhat tamed monsters you trust your life to while exploring because comfy
>Start feeling funny around girls
>Your best friends, most of whom (excepting your starter, probably) are older and more experienced than you
>They take it upon themselves to teach you about it
>Seven friends, six of whom are giant monsters, just exploring each other, the world, and themselves

>>50954063
I mean, you're right there. Snorunt also works.

>>50943420
Dude, have you ever taken a foreign language in your goddamn life?
Unless you think the Roman's were SJWs too, you just need to shut the fuck up

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>>50933059
11/10, this team is the perfect mix of bromons, cutemons, and useful Pokemon, and it would be fantastic in an anime that actually tried.

>>50954205
>When you accidentally raise your pitbull as a lapdog

>>50952070

Man, the folklore was pretty darn interesting, especially if you take it as literal truth.

>Some water-types can reincarnate (this might be why the vast majority of canonical prey pokemon are water-types)
>Poke-Selkies might exist
>Humans were once indistinguishable from pokemon, but diverged for unknown reasons.
>A legend of a swordsman indicates God/Arceus banned people using weapons to kill pokemon, threatening to take all pokemon away forever if humans did so again. This might be why few conventional weapons exist in the pokemon universe.

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>>50941856
And here I thought /vp/ was the only place that sexualized Glaceon. Color me disgusted.

>>50954577

Have they moved on from Vaporeon? That used to be the flavor of the month when I looked at /vp/.

>>50953778
Lopunny

>>50954389
>silvally
>pitbull
Mild understatement.

>>50954689

"Blasphemous Testament to Man's Hubris But Also Gentle Reminder Of Our Saving Graces" doesn't have the same ring to it, though.

>>50953778
Kirlia/Gardevoir, any Eeveelution except Jolteon, Blaziken, Absol, uh, Ditto.

I feel like if I was at that impressionable age I would go for the first pogeyman that busted a move and then develop from there, since these answers are filtered through the sexual deviancy of a 26 year old pariah and are thus biased.

>>50954703
>these answers are filtered through the sexual deviancy of a 26 year old pariah and are thus biased.
Next you'll tell me water is wet or something.

Honestly every girl ever in the Pokemon universe is 10/10, so that'd probably also cut back on that sort of thing. Hypothetically.

>>50954716
Maybe that's why they crank out so many identical clones of Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny

>>50954734

Well, if pokemon and humans were once impossible to tell apart, who's to say Nurse Joys aren't just pokemon that diverged later than most?

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>>50954743
That kinda makes sense

>>50953842
I didn't want to have sex with my dog at any age.

>>50953701
OTP.

>>50954350
Dude, stop apologizing for mental illness. There's one common thread in all usage of singular they, and it's faggotry and leftism. Period. Holy fuck, retard.

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?cat=27

>>50945496
>lol singular is magically plural because I say so
>lol 'it' doesn't exist so we better be grammatically incorrect instead lol
Try harder.

>>50954734

Maybe they really DO just have massive, identical families that all have the same name for some reason.

Although it seems statistically unlikely that a family that big would have entirely girls, and the Joy clan is HUGE.

Unless there ARE male Jennies and Joys and we'd never fucking know because they too are identical to their sisters and cousins

>>50954633
They never move on from one. The Pokefuckers find a new fancy for a moment, but always return at some point to older fancies.

>>50954799
>There's one common thread in all usage of singular they
No, there isn't. Read science fiction book, where robots are they.