Differences between male and female wizards.

>>50919275
A lady wizard's rod is enchanted with locomotion.

>>50919275
Not much once they figure out how to transmute themselves.

The pockets in a she-wizard's robes are just there for show.

One stores his magic energy in his beard, the other in her breasts.

>>50919275
The male has spurs on either side of the cloaca to grip the female while mating.

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There is not a single apprentice on the planet who has not swapped genders before, whether as an experiment, punishment, or just because.

There is no appreciable difference once the apprentice has spent their last fuck, and graduating to full fledged wizardry does not grant them additional fucks.

None; they can both lactate liquid gold if they want

One wants a rod and the other has a rod.

>>50919275
One has just a slightly higher sense of right and wrong.

>>50919275
one is male the other female

>>50919275
One produces more wizards via genetic donation and recombination from another specimen. The other produces more wizards through vegetative.

>>50919275

The genitals. Definitely the genitals.

>>50919275
none if they are good enough

>women always play yandere sorcerers
>Men usually play mad scientists

Bam

>-4 str

>>50919275
Where they place the wand

>>50920079
goes to same place regardless

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>>50920105
>Missing the joke this hard

>>50919275

A male wizard puts out a fire by drawing the heat out and putting it into a rock or something that wouldn't notice it.

A female wizard puts out a fire by smothering it in a bit of water, or pulling the air away.

>>50919275
>Oh, damn, I can never find ANYTHING in this spellbook!

>Sweetie, just use a Find Location spell. Pull over, I'm sure that man has some material components.

>Oh, damn. Honey, could you cast Open Container for me with your big, strong arms?

>>50919275
One enjoys The Three Knavish Brothers, the other prefers Fornication in the Fiefdom.

>>50919275
The location of their beard

>>50920423
>No, we are NOT spending this Thanksgiving with your pact demon! Ugh, just remembering all the last year's mess.

>>50920475

/thread

>>50920487
New project: Home Improvement-esque sitcom with wizards.

>Honey, did you paint the dungeon like you said you would?
>Just a sec. I've been perfecting a spell that'll do it for me.
>For the last two weeks?
>Look, when I get this baby running, it'll paint the dungeon in seconds!
>Seems like you could've painted the dungeon in less than two weeks.
[laugh track]
>Look, next time you want me to paint the tower, you'll be thankful I've got this spell done.
>Next time I want you to paint the tower, the dungeon will still need to be painted!
[laugh track]
>Okay, step back. Just about... there! Let 'er rip!
The spell whirs and sprays the entire room with paint, covering both wizards.
>...ta-da!
The wifezard wipes the paint away from her face, revealing a bemused expression.

Scene transition: a rabbit flies out of a hat, opens mouth, hat flies out of rabbit. Second hat turns towards camera, causing it to fade to black.

The size of the wand

A male's wizard sleeve is only on his robes.

>>50919275
One prefers crystal balls, the other uses scrying orbs.

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>>50920178

>>50920684
I'd watch it.

The male live for a thousand years while the female burns at the stake

>>50920684
writing this down somewhere
if I ever make it big in hollywood I'll credit you as Anonymous 50920684

>>50920684
The B-plot: Stacey wants her and Ben's relationship to go to the next level, and is trying to persuade him to summon a joint familiar together, but unbeknownst to her, he can't cast conjuration magic and is too ashamed to admit it.

>>50920423
>cast Open Container for me
okay, that was funny

>>50919275
I know this isn't what the thread is going for, but Pratchett wrote at length about just this topic:
http://ansible.uk/misc/tpspeech.html

>>50920475
kek

Female wizards can make a sandwich without expending a spell slot.

>>50919275
In general, the major difference between male and female humanoids lies in the shape and mechanism of the genitals. Assuming, of course, that you are talking about humanoid wizards.

>>50919275
One is destructive, egotistical, nearly unstoppable force of chaos, which bring only calamity and disasters.
The other one is a male.

>>50920684
I'd watch it.
>wifezard is in bed with another wizard
>legitimate wizard comes home
>wizard jumps naked in a closet
>there's an army of skeletons in that closet
>turns out the wizard has a plan to conquer the world

>>50925920
It's a good way to introduce a "negromancer" pun too

Buying a one-way trip to LA now

>>50920684
And of course, you've got to have the "Wilson" wizard in the tower next door.

>>50919275
One of them wears dresses
The other one is a girl

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You're more likely to get bullied as a Femwiz ;^D

but equally like to get bullied as a Manwiz >:^(

>>50919950
>>50919275

One has -4 str, and the other is also a wizard.

one produces extra fluids of magical utility

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Greatest hits of dwarven music

>>50928617
Whistle while they Twerk. Ft. Lil' Jon

>>50928617
Gold Gold Gold Gold (Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold)

>>50928617
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzHqXzcuWuE

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>>50919275
>female wizards
The wizard's staff has a knob on the end.

>>50919574
t. Ed Greenwood

>>50928617
"Heigh-ho!" By the Single Word Character Descriptions

Culturally, most Wizards eventually learn illusion spells to make them look however they please.

Male Wizards generally make themselves look old, learned, and long-bearded, mostly because that's the trend or style. They may grow old naturally, but these spells will keep them looking wise and powerful but being just as spry. Comparatively, female Wizards generally make themselves look as youthful, beautiful, and shapely as possible, meaning a 145 year-old can look 21.

Though there's usually only so many Wizards/magic users in a setting before it becomes unbelievably JRPG-ish, there are still a few exceptions to this.

>>50928617
I wanna rock!

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Tits.

>>50919275
What's the deal with this guy? Who is he?

>>50930001
dude from the threads where /tg/ comes up with funny responses
alternatively, dude from Whose line it is anyway

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"Things you can say to your healer, but not to your wife"

>>50930096
you make the pain go away.

>>50926273
what the fuck is wrong with you you fucking faggot
it's large busty female spellcasters that do the bullying in the first place

>>50930096
Get on your knees already, what the hell do you think I keep you around for?

>>50930096
"I love you too"

>>50930096
I don't care that it smells, get in the hole!

>>50930096
It's not violence when there's love.

>>50930096
How much I owe you?

>>50930096
Thanks, that felt pretty great

>>50930096
Marry me

>>50930096
Please don't leave me.

>>50930096
Hey, I bought a new wand for you to use on me

>>50920684
Wifezard and Wuzband

>>50930096
"Remind me, how many people you can manage at once comfortably?"

>>50930118
*giggle*

>>50930096
Stop squirming, there's nothing wrong about being princess carried once in a while.

>>50930096
Welp, it's dead. Time to get a new one.

>>50930096
I got chlamydia... Yes again.

>>50930096
Lay your hands on me.

>>50925920
Yfw when the legitimate husband wizard is ted cruz.

>>50919894
A wizard that can't alter its own gentiles is not worthy of the title.

>>50931698
>A wizard that can't alter its own gentiles
>gentiles
So we talking about some kind of Kabbalah wizards here?

>>50931776
>Year of the Messiah 1065
>Not owning 2800 gentiles

I shoyim goyim.

>>50931776
Of course, don't you have any gentiles you shmendrik?

>>50920684
Just like the real Home Improvement, Thaumaturge Time is the best part of the show

>>50925345
>The message is clear, boys: that's what happens to you if you let the real powerful magic get into the hands of women.
Having read up on Arthurian lit myself, I thought the point of Nimue/Nivian was that Merlin was thinking with his dick and was blind to her hating him with every fiber of her being.

>>50920684
>Honey, where are the kids?
>The apprentices are out searching for the ingredients you asked them for!
>Oh, right, I did need dragon powder. But they should be back by now, the market isn't that far
[MEANWHILE]
>Apprentices die horribly/hilariously to a dragon
[laugh track]

>>50926082
Who's just a disembodied head in a jar, the bottom half of which opaque.

>>50930151
Yes, but petite, boyish spellcasters are among the most bullied of all party members.

>>50928617
The Rolling Stones.

>>50931776
When they talk about transmutation, jews are talking about that inflation

>>50930096
"1d6"

>>50930096
You don't mind if I drink right from the potion bottle, right?

>>50930096
I glad you're around

>>50919275

This is one dank meme I actually enjoy seeing. Keep posting Anon.

>>50919275

We call one "witches", and burn it at the stake.

>>50920197
Yeah but only if the male wizard doesnt go mad first, or the female wizard isnt too bust pulling her braid.

>>50919932
Under rated post.

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>>50942936
>too bust pulling her braid
I don't think Nynaeves tits are THAT big

>>50942936
>Implying a female wizard wouldn't invent spells specifically designed to make her look objectively perfect at all times

>>50943505
I dont know, they like to compare their figures fairly often too.

First time reading through the series and the female half of the books drives me up a damn wall when they arent learning new shit about the age of legends or the one power.

>>50943608
Given half a chance and enough time, they'll also just throw in some spells to make everyone want to treat them like their master.

>>50943642

If your reading the series past the first book, your doing it wrong.

t. someone who kept reading past the first book

>>50943812
I don't know. I'm on the fifth book, and I'm still enjoying it The women get more insufferable, but learning the lore and magic system has been interesting.

It's kinda funny. Pretty much all the males in this series seem to grow and mature, but very nearly most women with the power seems to get more and more childish.

>>50930096
Well I'm glad you're real

>>50930096
"Sorry I forgot to wear protection."

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>>50946477
points!

>>50943642

If you image the cast as being anime characters the female characters all become 100% more tolerable.