Teaching noobies woes

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>>50876113
>new guy wants to learn "regular" 40k after playing nothing but kill team, so I offer to do a 1,000pts game to show him how the game works
>Poor guy owns mostly riptides and other big shit because when he initially bought in the only other player was a knight army and he thought that was his only way to fight it.
>MFW I'm showing up with an Executioner Leman Russ and a little over a 100 guardsmen
>Fully expect to be murdered horribly, but dammit I'm going to get a lasgun kill on a riptide as a personal victory and noob will get to kill guardsmen to learn how shooting works
>He gets first turn, sets up kind of aggressive, I tell him about seizing and how its usually a good idea for shooty armies to go for it. He says go ahead and roll for it
>Of course I roll a 6
>que about 100 guardsmen lighting up one riptide that is in the open and dropping it to one wound before the game even really starts
>Game devolves into "Conscripts: Yahtzee edition" as they charge across the board anally devestating anything in their path
>Noob has to end turn 4 as we took a lot of time teaching him his codex and learning what all his units did, but not before 2 riptides have gone blind from amateur LASIK surgery.
>Barely even lost 20 guardsmen, an unheard of record for IG, and was closing in on a lot of the objectives
>Noobie laughs, said he had a great time, and thanked me for being so patient as I calmly watched the worst small arm in the game brutally murder one of the most efficient monstrous creatures I know of.
>I keep apologizing for the ridiculous rolls and try to explain to him that normally riptides don't fail every nova reactor test for 4 turns in a row, but he's cool with it and says he can't wait for the next game
>MFW

Not even the only time, continued...

>>50876113
>In and of itself I probably wouldn't mind winning so much, the problem is that I win

>Winning so much
>I win
>win

I...I don't think you understand how tabletop works friend. DMs who wipe a party don't "win" it's not a competition at all. It's a "coop storytime" with rules so its fun and interesting.

>>50876193
Tabletop isnt just rpgs, guy.

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>>50876119

>X-Wing this time, have some guys I met shortly after I showed up to the area looking to get back in.
>One has already played a few times but has been out several waves, other is pretty new.
>there's three of us so we decide to do a 2v1, with them both playing playing rebels and I'm running a 200pt imperial list so they have plenty of stuff to shoot at
>Fun fact, this is not a balanced scenario it turns out. How the hell I didn't think that 1 homogenous 200pt list doesn't have a huge advantage over two seperate 100pt lists being run by two people I will never know
>Either way I bring some goofy stuff that I've always wanted to try, like the ramming speed decimator with the daredevil shenanigans trick to show them how card combos work.
>Guy who's been out for a while mentioned how he loved defenders and the look of the new special forces tie, so I decide to include them as the rest of my list.
>Que Marek Steel in a TIE D decked out to the 9's with VI and two Glaive Defenders with X7, backed up by backlash.
>turns out these ships are really good. Problem was I didn't realize HOW good they were.
>As in, delete Rey/Finn Millenium falcon in 2 turns good.
>MFW even with all my ships in arc, the Falcon makes maybe 1 evade
>At one point Steele shows Poe that EU is best U and hits every single shot at range one, double critting him and knocking him out in a single pass
>wipe them without even losing a ship
>"haha awesome game anon can't wait to play you again

>>50876193
These aren't RPGS, they're wargames/boardgames with win conditions. Imagine if you did a PVP scenario with a new guy to teach him to ropes, only to watch him fail almost every roll as your goblin rolled nothing but 20's. That's what it feels like.

>>50876216
>>50876119
>>50876113
So yeah does anyone else have this problem?

I've got a few more stories but I was curious to see if I'm the only one who runs into this.

I try to curb my lists back a bit for intro games but usually new players don't like to feel like I'm holding back, so I stopped doing it.

However it doesn't matter how much you try to tailor your list to be an easy matchup when the only thing your dice seem to roll is 6's. You would think they were loaded until I play another person who's used to the games, where they turn with a vengeance.

>>50876245
I've never had the problem but I'm interested in the stories

>>50876245
I used to kick way too much ass with the worst warlock in my Warmahordes faction until I realized that his gimmick of model efficiency is ridiculously good when there's only 4 models per side on the table.

I purposefully lose all engagements if possible.

>>50876320
>I purposefully lose all engagements if possible

Stop wasting everyone's time

>>50876245
I find when I have nothing to prove (i.e. teaching noobs) I get fantastic rolls, probs b/c some gestalt psyker bullshit on dice.

We're like a really lame version of Orks.

>>50876364
20mins of learning is superior to a 10 min victories.

>>50876320
>purposefully lose

Come on man newbies hate that unless they're 12. It feels patronizing and like you're trying to trick them into buying because "whoah you're so good at this." It's the GW store scheme and feels really dishonest.

Nothing wrong with a handicap or something to even the odds, but purposefully losing is too far.