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Monk quotes

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Thread replies: 109
Thread images: 28

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Give me something a monk would say.

>"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions."

>I applaud all styles, except hair.

>Sometimes the bird doesn't have wings or sings us a song.

>Smoking is a great way to forget why you're smoking

Kindness is contagious. So is gonorrhea.

>It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and gotten syphilis.
>>
Man who go to sleep with itchy bum wake up with stinky fingers
>>
>>50778443
Asking questions is a useful skill/habit, though.

"When you point a finger at someone else, the other 3 are pointing back at you."

And, or course, "he who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind, but he who sticks out in darkness is flourescent."
>>
>Whether you want one or not, always check for an adam's apple.
>Haste makes waste. Laxative makes both at once.
>The man who uses a volcano as a toilet is always hot shit.
>>
>>50778443
>Obachan ga itte ta
Followed by some amazingly appropriate zen-like phrase
>>
The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

postpone your tiresome quarrels if you can, or leave and take them home with you.

Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place

O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.
>>
>>50778443
A ton of Yogi Berra quotes, such as:
>When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
>We made too many wrong mistakes.
>Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
And my personal favorite
>The future ain't what it used to be.

also ORAORAORAOROAORAORAORAORA
>>
>http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/The_Way_of_Mrs._Cosmopilite

Because let's face it, these are more practical than what monks usually come out with.
>>
>The four elements, like man alone, are weak. But together they form the strong fifth element: boron.

>The turtle can't forget his shell, but you can forget your tent

>"I don't have anything enlightening to say today. I'm not a fucking magic eight-ball. Figure it out yourself."

>If God would live on earth, some teens would still throw rocks through his windows.

>Man who argue with cow on wall is like wagon without wheels: very soon get nowhere

>If you know not what I say, and I know not what I say, I suppose I am a priest.
>>
>Power is like sand. The harder you grip it, the more it slips through your fingers.

>Even the smallest tussock of grass can topple an overloaded cart.

>Do not cross the river in search of water

>A punch from a friend is full of honesty, a kiss from a enemy is full of deceit

>Over time, water eats through stone

>No one knows everything, but everyone knows something

>Never let a wolf guard your sheep

>Gold may open many a gate, but never the gate to tranquility

>Do not question a fool about a rock, unless you want it thrown at you

>Know a mule by its ears and a fool by his words

>Even a fool may look wise if stays quiet

>The Ki is with me. I am one with the Ki.
>>
>>50779219
>Even a fool may look wise if stays quiet
should be
>Even a fool may look wise if HE stays quiet
>>
>>50778443
"Ask not for a lighter burden, but rather for broader shoulders"
>>
>If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.
>Know your place in life is where you want to be.
>Just keep smiling, move onward every day.
>You don't get something for nothing.
>Even love must be limited by time.
>>
>>50778443
>Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and let them think you a fool, than to open it and let them know.
>Responsibility is whatever is within your ability to do
>When a wave celebrates the ocean, it becomes the ocean
>>
>"When you can balance a tack hammer on top of your head, you can head off your enemies with a balanced attack."

>Walking is an exercise in closing one's mouth

>When it comes to a question of commerce, we all hold the same god.

>Don't fall before pushed.

>Have you ever had anything exquisite as ice cream?
>>
>ctrl F "be like water"
>no replies
>>
>You insult him, call him fat; to be sure, the boy is stout. But you are a fool, and there's no cure for that.
>>
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>>50778443
Imma deck you in the schnoz
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>>50778523
>Knifehand
>>
>>50778443
These are all fucking TERRIBLE.
>>
>>50778443
You can dance if you want to, we can leave your friends behind because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine

It is not a wise man who fucks his girlfriend's sister

If you meet an asshole on the road, you just met an asshole. If you meet nothing but assholes on the road, you're the asshole.
>>
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>"Laws and History are written by the winners and the losers must abide by it. If you don't want this then become strong and win."

>"Speaking in vuageries is the domain of poets and philosophers who contemplate life sitting down."

>"You find the study and mastery of new weapons lacking in hornor? Romantics who play at war have the luxury of such thinking."
>>
Man who stand on toilet, high on pot
>>
We walk in harmony.
Be reborn.
Be one with the universe.
Embrace tranquility.
Free your mind.
Gaze into the Aether.
Open your mind.
Walk in harmony.
Bask in the shadow of doubt.
There is disquiet in your soul.
You are your own worst enemy.
True self is without form.
A closed mind is already defeated.
A disciplined mind is your most dependable ally.
A warrior's greatest weapon... is patience.
Consider only victory. Make defeat an impossibility in your mind.
Adversity is an opportunity for change.
The outcome is never preordained.
Overconfidence is a flimsy shield.
Pain is an excellent teacher.
Repetition is the path to mastery.
The cycle begins anew.
My spirit is strong.
I welcome adversity.
Excellence is its own reward.
>>
>>50781554
They aren't meant to hold your eight like that
So that's an excellent way to ruin the toilet/your ass
>>
[My former path of Harmonious Balance monk gone Drunken Fist...]

There is a path of balance. This is the harmony of life, death, order, chaos. I walk this road alone, you have simply stumbled across my way.

Patience and disciple empower you more than natural talent.

Do you know the sound of a single hand clapping? It's much like the sound your neck will make when snapped.

The wine does not strengthen me, it simply makes the pain less.

[After he takes a free 40' movement when nobody/nothing is actively listening/watching/paying attention to him...]
...wait, how'd I get here?
>>
>>50781085
due to the sheer stupidity one has to witness to resort to knifehand pointing the knifehand is usually justified.
>>
>>50780248
Be like water that flushes away the shit that is your enemies.
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>>50778776
>The future ain't what it used to be.
That's cyberpunk as fuck
>>
>>50779219
>spoiler
Yen's cadence made it sound as if the sentences are reversed. Then when Baze spoke it, I thought he was doing it wrong.
>>
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>>50782567
>Then when Baze spoke it, I thought he was doing it wrong.
Same.
>>
>>50782587
I mean, it would be thematic - he's so out of practice, he mixes it up in the heat of the moment.
But no, I was just hearing Yen wrong.
>>
>>50778443
>Man who paints toilet door is not a shithouse artist.
>>
>>50781556
Also from this author such wondrous phrases like "The payload and I move as one".
>>
http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf
>>
>dojo, casino, it's all in the mind
>>
>>50778443
>"Do not think! FEEL! It's like a finger pointing away from the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all of the heavenly glory!"
>"Now, you must remember: the enemy has only images and illusions behind which he hides his true motives. Destroy the image and you will break the enemy."
>>
Iroh has all the quotes you need
>>
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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU0wulD2ta4
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rwPPrxjqKY
>>
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>>50778443
"Me hands are shanks, used only fer shankin'."
>>
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>>50778443
>Magic must defeat magic.
>Mung beans, good for digestion.
>One more thing!
>Talismans not important!
>>
>>50778593
"Mama always said..."?
>>
I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me
>>
>>50778443
Give man fire, he will be warm for a night.
Teach man to make fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Setting man on fire also keeps him warm for the rest of his life.
>>
>>50782666
I am on fire

But an extinguisher is not required
>>
>>50783555
Came here to post this.
>>
>>
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Through conflict, one's nature is revealed.

I am harsh, so you may learn.

In war, a fool's first lesson is his last.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
>>
Seek not to predict your foes, for war is unpredictable. Rather, seek to stand firm, and let his force wash past you as a wave upon rock.

Strength D weapons on TEQs is still bullshit tho
>>
>It's called a garbage can, not a garbage can't. You may live in it, but you are not trash.
>>
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.
>>
>"Die 1000 deaths!"
>>
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes has always been a favorite of mine.

Not very Monk-y, but it's a damn good phrase.
>>
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>Watch the fucking backblast!
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War
>>
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>>50778443
"I DON'T WANT TRABLE!"
>>
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>>50783555
>mfw the boys in white finally got those traitors
>>
Remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty.
>>
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>>50778705
Come on man, at least post the source image.
>>
>>50783468
I know where you stole that from.
>>
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>>50778443
>Monk
Plebs.

Give me something a crazy murderhobo would say.
>"I laugh in the face of danger, hahahaha!"
>"When you can't solve the problem by blowing shit up, you are clearly not using enough explosives."
>"Whoops, almost fell! Haha, I'm good."
>"What do you mean calm down?! I AM CALM!"
>>
>>50785359
this was deliberately edgy right? at least i hope so.
>>
>>50778555
>>Whether you want one or not, always check for an adam's apple.
Nice.
>>
>>50783550
Grandmother. If I'm correct, anon is leaning onto Kamen Rider Kabuto, and here's the list of quotes in the show
https://denhurd.wordpress.com/2007/03/18/kamen-rider-kabuto-the-quotes/
>>
>>50785359
stop posting
>>
>>50782587
>>50782606
>>50782567
What is it from? Google is finding unrelated shit.
>>
>How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? Meditate on this.

>Though mighty is the wind, you can still break it. Meditate on this.
>>
>>50778443
"The man who walks the skies do not get wet feet."
"The man who grins at the face of danger may risk losing his teeth."
"To tread on the sun is to cast a shadow over a planet."
>>
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>>50785359
>>
>>50778523

But what of the thumb, annon? WHAT OF THE THUMB?
>>
>>50785508
>edgy
You mean silly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKRVugb1eao
>>
>>50785897
Well it's most likely aint' pointing back at YOU so is a bit irrelevant for the point being made.
>>
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>"It is natural to die."
>"Pain is for the weak."
>"Revenge is dish best served raw."
>"You blocking with your head again!"
>"It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and got syphilis"
>"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you."
>"Man who fart in church sit in own pew."
>>
>>50787701
>"You look like a stupid!"
>"You are tiny grasshopper."
>>
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If you should meet God on the road, kill him.

Reach heaven through violence.

Forgive me for this violence I am about to inflict.

We must constantly seek salvation and perfection through division.

I am Royalty and the undisputed master of the principal art of Cutting. I will fight naked with ten-thousand men.

The sanctioned action is to Cut.

To Cut means division by the blade of Want, that parer of potentials that excises infinities.

To train with the sword, first master sweeping. When you have mastered sweeping, you must master the way of drawing water. Once you have learned how to draw water, you must split wood. Once you have split wood, you must learn the arts of finding the fine herbs in the forest, the arts of writing, the arts of paper making, and poetry writing. You must become familiar with the awl and the pen in equal measure. When you have mastered all these things you must master building a house. Once your house is built, you have no further need for a sword, since it is an ugly piece of metal and its adherents idiots.
>>
>>50787701
I forgot his best one !

>"You are weak as a baby fart, go live in fear."
>>
>>50778443
>> I applaud all styles, except hair.
Clearly not a Monk of Cool.
>>
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>>50778443
Just watch Kung Fu.

Master Po is the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2yIkDVs0cA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ski6MYYqyQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2YS6KVrQqc
>>
>>50785723
Rogue One, my friend.
>>
>>50778443
A single wave may displace the stones, but the endless tide will wear them to rubble.

If you expect to only find sadness upon your journeys, then sadness will be the only thing you find.
>>
>>50785652
Some of these are pretty good
>>
>I see that you like to chew. Perhaps you should chew ON MY FIST
>We do not wash our pits in the pool of sacred tears
>Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear
>If the path you take always leads to yourself, you'll never get anywhere
>>
>Accept all you do as your own. Live with it, learn from it, laugh at it, but never disown it.
>If you wish to be dry, find a towel before you dive into the sea.
>>
>"Practice mercy and compassion, but know when they must end."

>"When forced to choose between gold and ground, only the fool chooses to be wealthy."
>>
>>50778443
I am the mountain; unyielding.
I am the storm; unrelenting.
>>
>>50780634
Kek
>>
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>>50791952
>> If the path you take always leads to yourself, you'll never get anywhere
>>
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>>50778443
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
-Thích Quảng Đức
>>
>>50781328
Got any better ones then, wise guy?
>>
>You have two hands: one with which to give, and one with with which to hold. Holding with both will leave you unable to receive, and giving with both leaves you with nothing that is your own.
>>
>>50778443
>A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
>Life brings death which brings new life. As it should be.
>Good fortune, Bad fortune? Who knows?
>Pic Related
>>
>>50798632
Too extraneous. Brevity is the soul of wit.
>Giving with two hands leaves you with nothing. Holding with two hands leaves you unable to receive.
>>
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>>50778443
Had a monk NPC once who spoke mainly in inspirobot quotes.
some highlights.
>Betrayals are just dead people without eyes.
>Water is a Mistake
>Don't Try to live forever. Wake up.
>Jeapordize proficiency. Sensationalize individuality. Maximize demolition.
and pic related.
>>
"Live in the moment, or be left in the past."
>>
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Strategy is like a fine wine and combat is like hard liquor
>>
>>50800170
Noic.

Did you fish for cool ones beforehand or just grab a random whenever needed and try to fit the meaning to the situation?
>>
>>50781556
You missed the best one.

>murders everyone and wipes the floor with their corpses
>Death... is whimsical today.
>>
>>50791366
A few of them are amusingly contrary to the common wisdom idioms but work because Tendo is a fucking sue, knows it and owns it.
>>
>>50803170
Like seriously
>gets into argument with another character about who's cooler with girls
>they decide a challenge: who picks up most chicks by noon
>other guy goes around flirting and gathers a crowd
>Tendou shows up alone
>all the girls immediately flock to him
>quotes something about flowers turning to face the sun

then most of the girls turn out to be monsters in disguise and they gotta kill them with explosions
>>
>>50803904
Or just in episode 2
>in episode 1, he manages to kill a superspeed monster with difficulty, by catching it on a knife while it running
>in ep 2 couple monsters initiate their superspeed mode, start beating him up, in open area so he can't pull any tricks
>another character tries to yell at him that the suit has superspeed mode too and how to activate it
>"Oh I know. I killed the last guy without it just to show that I can."
>>
>>50778443

>Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>Who smelled it, dealt it.

>I am the real MVP.
>>
>>50783606
The Iris says that you need to eat my robotic dick-Zenyatta according to that one guy I played with yesterday, 2016
>>
Laughter is the best medicine, but also the worst contraceptive.
>>
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I realize she's not a traditional monk but a lot of her quotes have an unique kind of enlightenment I really appreciate.


The ocean is calm. It is our desires that stir it.

The waves will drag you down, unless you fight to shore.

Honor? Duty? Ha! What your heart demands is all that matters.

Your people seek a worthy death. Mine, a worthy life.

My god doesn't want you to kneel. It wants you to fight.

To die is to drown - so I will swim well, till I can swim no more
>>
>>50778443
" The strongest of shield is forged by the hottest fire."
>>
>>50778443
Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moooooonnnnnnnn!!!!
>>
>>50781554
Man who stick dick in peanut butter, is fucking nuts.
>>
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>>50798225
extreme kek, but it was more like

"..."
>>
You say I am the only one. You are mistaken. I am the first.
>>
>>50783918
>that episode of Sesame Street where Jackie Chan teaches Oscar how to defend himself from bullies
Thread posts: 109
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