>Go to Friday Night Magic >The non-smoking section is full

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>>50712611
But with chicks like that it looks like the smoking-hot section still has seats!

>>50712611
Remember everybody, get married to a cute girl who loves butt sex BEFORE you make a thread on /tg/.

>>50712611
>fnm in new city
>chair dispenser only takes card

wtf man. TAKE MY QUARTERS REEEE

>>50712611
>smoking
Sorry, is this the 1990s?

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>Own a game store
>Pump extra oxygen into the store to keep players extra alert resulting in higher level of level

>>50712611
Cry me a river.

>>50712915
I wish I had a higher level of level.

>>50713209
Do you even level your level level?

>>50712915
>Own oxygen tent
>Sleep in it naked, believing it'll give me sexual powers.

>>50712915

>Turn the oxygen generator to maximum
>Everyone gets carbon monoxide poisoning

>smoking indoors at all
>smoking around collectible cards

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>>50713342

>Not smoking your cards to give them a nice smoky scent

>>50713342
>not scenting your cards
>not playing a high tide deck that smells like the ocean
>not playing a burn deck that smells like smoke
>not playing lantern control that smells like your own farts

>>50713342
>>50713387
>not smoking to prepare your cards for preservation
pleb, it's like you want microbes to eat your cards in their hermetically sealed sleeves.

>>50713555
>sleeves
>not carbon fiber cases

What a pleb

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>>50713658
>you can't make sleeves out of carbon fiber

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>There are people who don't quadruple sleeve their decks

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>>50713790
>You will never make a Top Gear themed vehicle deck complete with Carbon Fiber sleeves

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>There are people who actually play their decks and not leave them in a pressurized glass case

>>50713987
>there are people who can't shuffle pressurized glass cases
Manlets go please.

>>50713235
My level is so overleveled next to your level levelit's like your level level compared to his level level my level.

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>>50714033
I laughed harder than I should have.

>>50713859
Only quadruple? I'm disappointed. Septuple sleeve your cards if you care about them

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>people in this thread, RIGHT NOW, actually look at their cards instead of storing them in a vacuum sealed safe, in a building you specifically built to be 30 stories high in a location accessible only by drone, 12 floors beneath basement level in a corridor reachable only by elevator, but you cut the elevator cable years ago and climbed out slowly pouring cement in the shaft behind you, in a room with eight different locks all of which require a different scrambled 24-character password, each of which only your best friend knows but you killed him three months ago because he mentioned one single digit of one of the passwords to his mom

>>50714199
My sides are on alpha centauri

>>50714291
>Not storing your cards on alpha centauri.

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>>50714327

>>50714327
>storing your cards in this dimension

>>50714422
>His cards aren't abstract concepts

>>50714422
>Actually having physical manifestations of your cards instead of storing their thought-forms in the endless tunnels of an eldritch being's mindscape.

>>50713030
Some people have asthma

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>>50712611
>the red-haired one blows smoke into your face
>get a boner

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>>50712915
>higher level of level

>>50712611
Who the fuck allows smoking near the mtg cards? They will lose their smell

>>50712790
Chair... dispenser? You mean your LGS makes you pay to sit down? Man, they must not want business or something.

>>50714569
>an
>he doesn't have a RAID array of eldritch mindscapes and multiple offworld backups

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>>50713859
>There are people who don't encase their cards in blocks of amber

>>50714586
Maybe your lungs should stop being such little bitches.>>50714569

>>50714040
But do you lose a level level if you need to rez and there's no cleric nearby?

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>>50715882
>There are people who don't encase their cards in amber, store them in Fort Knox and play with a basket full of cameras with pictures of the cards right before being encased in amber and only showing the pictures to judges while the cameras are inside a fortified bunker and only way for the judges to see them is through a reverse periscope that shows a mirror with the reflection of the cameras that are in the adjacent room that has been welded shut save for one clear diamond window from which the reflection comes from

>>50712611
>Inside a store
>Any level of smoking

What is it like living in a 3rd World country?

>>50716801
I wouldn't know. How is It living in a bureaucratic fascist shithole?

>>50717031
Well our new dictator is going to disband the bureaucracies for not being fascist enough so it's getting better.

>>50716706
>people in this tread actually use their cards to play instead of never opening them before storing them in the rafters of the Sistine chapel

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>>50712611
I'm not a loser like you, OP.

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You guys have any advice about the correct place to leave your falcon during FNM's? I mean, my opponent has his on the table and I find it really annoying when I ask if a spell resolves and his falcon just fucking screeches.

Pic related, I have one of these

>>50716706
>with a basket full of cameras with pictures of the cards

Funny, that's how most of my vintage matches go. It's way cheaper.

>Players smoking near me
>Can't smell my cards
>Can't tell what the next card is by its unique scent
Fucking inconsiderate assholes.

>there are people in this thread who actually play with cards instead of making decks of printing press plates

>>50719009
>using plates
>not dedicating a numbered press to each individual card and drawing numbers out of a hat

>people itt play MtG
You don't play games here. Just bitch about them.

what the hell is going on in this thread

>>50716597
No, i just level around until I find a leveled cleric of level level the level god of levels so he can level my level again to my former level

>>50718348
Just teach your falcon to play too, that way you both can have fun.

>>50712611
Wait your lgs has a smoking section
Thats retarded a good 70% of our players are smokers and you are still expected to go outside.

The fuck happens when a smoker gets paired up with a non smoker

Where the fuck do you live anon

>LGS has mandatory pre match showers
>people still reek after it
How the fuck does this happen?

>>50713544
Why would lanterns smell like farts

>>50721141
Gas lanterns.

>>50721165
Im pretty sure lantern of insight is powered by magic gas

>>50721138
They shower in piss, probably.

>>50713209
I try to keep my level of level level

>>50712611
>Go to Friday Night Magic
>The non-smoking section is full
>Realize you've traveled back in time
>Run to warn everyone about Bill Cosby
>And 9/11 I guess

>>50721879
>Run to warn everyone about Bill Cosby
Fuck that im making preperations to prove rolf harises innocence

I should visit /tg/ more often, this is my favorite thread of the week

>>50721228
>showering in filthy microbe-laden water instead of clean, sterile urine

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>there are people in this thread who don't digitize your collection so they live on forever in the cloud

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>>50712915

>Police find man unconcious in own house
>Holes drilled in the walls for more oxygen intake
>Man seems comatose, note lies on the ground near
>"Must achieve higher level of level"

>>50722222
Quints say the truth. From now on, I'm showering in piss.

>>50722222
For once, quints are not wasted.

>>50720783

Falcons unfortunately lack the dexterity to shuffle decks or draw hands, so that's not an option.

However, maybe you can get the falcon to be a referee? He/she can't possibly be worse then the usual crop.

>>50721879
>Cosby, 9-11

It all makes sense now. The planes weren't hijacked, their pilots were given time released roofies.

> playing MTG ever

>>50715625
implying that standing isn't the superior way to play your Chinese children card games

>>50712611
Where I'm from, there is no smoking section.
Just the "Go the fuck outside" section.
That's not my house. That's everywhere.

>>50722222
Sorry friend, unrine is not steril, it turns out.

t. microbiologist

>>50719174
>he doesn't know how to level his level
Get on our level, nerd.

>>50715714

>backups
>devaluing your cards yourself

>>50723945
He wouldn't need to shuffle the cards with his physical limbs if you would store them on fort know/alpha centauri/ as abstract concepts or in an elder beings mindscape like reasonable, sane people.

>>50724595
You're right, the only real games take place in the un-time where the players can battle wielding the very essence of their cards without being restricted by physical concepts such as smoke,space-time, or bathroom breaks

>>50712611

Just smoke, don't be a pussy

>>50725798
>Just voluntarily get lung cancer, don't be a pussy
smokerfags ae the worst

>>50722289
>there are people in this thread who don't realize bit rot is a thing

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>>50726291
surely they'd be called fagsmokers?

>>50726291
>be afraid of cancer
lol what a pussy

>>50726474
fagsmokerfags?
>>50726499
you got me, its true, i am scared of my own body consumeing itself
what a coward i am

>>50726509
Well aren't you the master of your own body?

>>50713544
Wasn't there a Yu Gi Oh episode where boob lady scented her cards so she could play without looking at them?

>>50726499
>Not containing your cancer though source of will

Level your level, my man.

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>>50729578
That's how I scent my Ensnaring Bridges

>>50729781
>source of will
What is the source of will

>>50712611
So Hasbro kicks out Magic players with criminal histories, if the SJWs scream about them, because they "want players to feel safe", but doing something that actually physically harms other players is just fine?

>>50722289
>>there are people in this thread who don't digitize your collection so they live on forever in the cloud
Wizards of the Coast has history on stealing people's virtual cards, so good luck with that.

>>50731682
Well being of customers != well being of PR numbers

>>50731814
Well let's hope that comes back to bite them in the ass long term, including in PR numbers.

>>50729578
Yup it was more so she could tell her next card than it was to show off. It's hilarious because the main character uses Egyptian voodoo to bring his cards to the top of the deck and still has the audacity to call her a cheat.

>>50732353
>It's hilarious because the main character uses Egyptian voodoo to bring his cards to the top of the deck and still has the audacity to call her a cheat.
Magically manipulating probability is totally different from essentially peeking at your deck.

>no one ITT has activated their cardboard yet

And here I thought I was in good company.

>>50712611
When you say Non-smoking do you mean the area designated for people who don't smoke or for people who aren't Smoking hot?

>>50712611
>Go to FNM looking to smoke some nubs.
>Smoking hot babes.
>Play them and loose on purpose because then they will be my girlfriends
>They are lesbians.
>Light a fag.
>Thrown out and banned.
>Im smoked.

>>50733156
>>Play them and loose on purpose because then they will be my girlfriends
Girls don't like weaklings.

>>50718230
Dubya was a coke-fiend. So was Jeb. And the entire USA Olympics team that Bush Snr praised as an example of winners not using drugs were pumped so full of steriods that one of them spontaneously exploded into a chaos-spawn.

>>50722181
And then we can ressurect Saint Jimmy Savile using science what man was not meant to know.

>>50729514
Because he hasn't levelled his level.

>>50731682
>So Hasbro kicks out Magic players with criminal histories
Only criminal histories against women. After all, Patrick "Snitches get Stitches" "Cardboard Cocaine" Chapin is still playing.

>>50733671
I'm sure if drugs trafficking could be characterised as a crime against minorities or LGBTs he'd get kicked out too. It wouldn't have to be women.

>>50722289
>>50731708
http://observer.com/2015/07/wizards-of-the-coast-bans-a-magic-the-gathering-player-and-sets-off-a-tizzy-among-gamers/
>In 2013, when the “Magic Online Championship Series” crashed, kicking out every player, the community didn’t take it sitting down. The value of digital Magic cards dropped 11% overnight in response to what players considered to be the poor quality of the gaming and customer service

>>50721122
>The fuck happens when a smoker gets paired up with a non smoker
The non-smoker whines endlessly. Just like everywhere else.

>>50731682
>secondhand smoke is harmful
Since when did /tg/ drink the Kool-Aid? I expected better.

>stealing /tv/ memes

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>>50736557
>LGS starts enacting a no singles policy to encourage more players to show up
>as expected the store is filled to the brim with people next Friday
>want to get in and play with all the new players but I get denied at the entrance
>thought my cinema falcon would be a good enough partner but apparently the only bird they allow is crows because of le Storm Crow memes
>try to bribe the WotC official designated LGS bouncer with a playset of Hedron Crabs but he says mill is an unfair mechanic
>get furious and decide to promise that I'll leave if they at least let me use the shower room before I go, the bus won't be back for another two hours
>they reluctantly let me in but tell me I have to leave my falcon outside to fend for itself
>true to my promise but still more frustrated than the local town rapist on Curfew Day I head straight for the showers and decide to take out my anger on my pet Alaskan crab
>the steam is hotter than expected and Michelangelo perishes as soon as I take her out of her tank
>I didn't want to kill her but figure this might be just the thing I need
>quickly de-leg the poor girl and try to blend in with the crowd as another waiter
>someone quickly realizes the crab I'm passing out isn't Dungeness
>also I wasn't wearing a pinstripe tailcoat or serving them from a silver gilded platter but whatever
>they trip me and both my mill deck and collection of crabs legs fall onto the floor
>after looking at my cards they tell me that the Modern room was the next door over
>I had spent this whole time trying to get into the Standard room
>get so embarrassed that I run home crying without picking up my falcon
>never got to play Magic

>Going to Friday Night Magic ever
>not laughing at the nerds who play magic instead of drinking with their friends
I win :O)

>>50736556
Are you >>50734923 by any chance?

>>50721879
>Run to warn everyone about Bill Cosby
>And 9/11 I guess
double kek

>>50712611
The smoking section is ideal. People who smoke prove they are poor at making important decisions. If they can't realize that paying to slowly kill themselves is a terrible choice, then how can they manage a card game?

>>50736866
WOTC employees Tifa Mayen's Lady Planeswalker Society did actually run female DCI sanctioned tournaments. Men are only allowed as a plus one to a woman.

>>50712791

>not smoking

anon the faggot nerd store called, they're running out of (you)s

>>50712611
I wish my gaming store had a smoking section.

>>50738342
>intelligence-shaming in current year

>>50738342
This is bait

>>50738485
Keep thinking it is so you can justify your pointless stupid addiction. You're too weak to quit smoking, it doesn't surprise me you'd also be in denial.

>>50738342

This is a reminder that I smoke and I make way more money than you (unless you make mid-seven figures).

Poorfags make terrible choices by default, or else they wouldn't be poor. How can you even manage a card game you fucking poor retard? kek

>>50738507
How much is a year of your life worth? How much are 10/20/30 years?

You ask the richest man and he would happily give 7 figures to live a year longer.

You're a fool with a face covered in motley, everyone sees it and would laugh, if they weren't to busy pitying you.

>>50738576

No, only poorfags are worried about doing things quickly. Literally every single day of my life is pretty great unless I'm sick. I could die tomorrow and it'd be alright. I won't, though, because I can afford pretty solid health care and if cancer is ever cured I'll afford that too. If not, "YOLO", seeing as I'd rather enjoy smoking and die a few years earlier

Deal with it, moralfag-poorfag untermensch.

>>50738576
>You ask the richest man and he would happily give 7 figures to live a year longer.
He might be a retard who would literally pay to have a shorter life.
Plenty of people do.

>>50713342
I put double sleeves on my cards just because of this

>>50738427
Isn't that super fucked up?

>>50738807
Did you misread or something? It's men who aren't allowed without a female chaperone, not the other way around. How is that fucked up?

>>50738576
>responding to bait

Does /tg/ ever learn?

>>50738576
On strictly pragmatical level as long as the amount of money to live another year is less than or equal to how much you can earn in a year (after subtracting necessary life expenses) it will always be worth it. Even if that earning takes working 12 hours a day 7 days a week.

>>50738839
No, I read it right mate. Do we have FNMs where women are only allowed to go with their boyfriends? I thought not.

>>50738807
The real question is, if I, with rather stereotypical male anatomy, were to put on a skirt and say I identify as woman, would they let me participate or not?

>>50738853
Is it? Unless your work is for some reason amazingly cool, working 12hours everyday, no breaks, so you can live another year to do it again sounds like not living at all. You'll be back from work to sleep and nothing else.

>>50738869

wow sexist

fucking dick this is why more women dont play magic, pig

>>50738869
What the fuck are you suggesting? Are you some kind of sexist MRA? Why do you hate women?

:^)
You see where I'm going here?

>>50738874
The kind of people who would form a girls club for magic would problably be very much sjws. They would certainly be thinking you're a massive creep, but none would have the balls to stop you.

'cause they don't have them

>>50738898
Oh. It's hard to pick up sarcasm online.

>>50738920
Sadly it's impossible to tell the difference between this sort of parody misandry and what plenty of people really believe.

>>50738883
>You'll be back from work to sleep and nothing else.
That's more like working 16 hours a day. And even then it would be worth it.
Why? Either you can find the right work or attune yourself to the work you have now and the work becomes its own purpose.
Alternatively, because extending yourself for another year can inherently give you options. Better job so you can work less and have more personal time or cheaper cost for extending yourself.

>>50738930
4chan doesn't thrive on the blurred line, it is the blurred line.

>>50738920
>>50738930
>>50738915

>retarded neckbeards "hurr durr all women are this caricature i just made up"
>"BUT DONT CLASSIFY ME AS ANY BROAD GROUP LIKE NECKBEARD /pol/TARD MRA REDPILL FAG, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR"

toppest of possible keks

>>50738946
It's only on the blue boards that we need to blur things.

>>50738949
Somebody show this fag the "tell men not to rape" twitter screencap.

>>50738968

>show this [homophobic insult] the "gotcha" moment i found on /pol/ haha its genius man

yeah okay there cheeto-lord

>>50738943
Have you ever worked 12 hours a day, daily, for years? I have, and it's not fun. Office jobs make you want to kill yourself exponentially for every minute longer than 4 hours, and physical jobs ACTUALLY kill you like that.

>>50738949
I don't even know what you're trying to say with all this sperguing

>>>/v/

>>50738977
>[homophobic insult]
I like men myself. Get over yourself. Pretending to be triggered might work where you normally post, but here it just tells us you need to eat shit.

>>50739007

>get btfo
>HAHA SPERG LOL

gb2/pol/

>>50739019

>I like men supposedly (in theory, based on my anonymous internet post) so it's totally cool if i spread hate against gay men because, you know, i'm totally one of you guys

fuck off milo

>>50739024
I'm not "spread hate against gay men". I'm spreading hate against worthless faggots like you.

>>50738981
When you phrase it exactly like that the honest answer is no. But I'm going to assume neither did you because you had either weekends off, public holidays off or at least one instance of sick leave over the years.
I've worked with similar intensity though and I enjoyed it wholeheartedly. First couple weeks are pain before you pick up the pace, but once you do it just feels natural. I'm extrapolating from there.

>>50739051

I honestly hope some /pol/ack bashes your fucking head open and pisses on your corpse and does it because you thought shitposting about "those terrible gay faggots who totally arent like me" was a good idea, idiot

/pol/ will never like you and you're an idiot for trying to be le cool alt right dude

>>50739051

Please see >>50738851

Just stop man.

>>50738949
>>50738968
I've found better than that screencap. Watch this.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38313555
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2gwjlllPiw

>>50738342
well if they didn't make poor life decisions, why would they want to play mtg?

>>50738977
Faggot here, as in "I've gone to pride marches, worn the rainbow, fucked men, been fucked by men, and so on" full blown maxed-level reincarnated-twice faggot.

I prefer homophobes to you white-night cunts.

>>50739147
If we did not make poor life decisions why would we be posting on 4chan?
It's about making the bad choices an exception not a tendency.

>>50739159

>my experience goes for all gay men

Okay dumbass but I'm gay too so how about you shut the fuck up and take your "I totally prefer the guys who want to kill me" retardation back to /pol/ where it belongs. maybe if you're lucky and say "gas the gays" you'll get a "based faggot" comment, Milo. fuckin idiot. gas yourself if you're gonna gas someone.

>>50739082
>I honestly hope some /pol/ack bashes your fucking head open and pisses on your corpse
And you call others homophobes?

>/pol/ will never like you and you're an idiot for trying to be le cool alt right dude
I'm not alt-right and I hate /pol/. Try again.

>>50738839
>It's men who aren't allowed without a female chaperone, not the other way around. How is that fucked up?

Wait, are you trying to say that "men aren't allowed without a female chaperone" is somehow not fucked up, but "women aren't allowed without a male chaperone" would be?

Because that's fucked up.

>>50739195
>And you call others homophobes?

yes, dumbfuck. 1 i'm gay 2 if you get bashed by the /pol/ retards youre trying to impress it might remind some other gays not to go down the absolutely pointless milo route

>I'm not alt-right and I hate /pol/. Try again.

yeah ok there mr "i hate fags 1488 see guys im not a gay fairy LOL i hate gays too i just like dick look at my gf (male)"

>>50739225
>I don't like someone
>they must be into traps
Wrong again faggot

>>50739224
Watch >>50739124 if you want to understand that way of thinking.

>>50738930
The autist's defence. A classic.

>>50714291
You mean Rigil Kentaurus. There's no "Alpha Centauri" anymore.

>>50712611
>The non-smoking section is full
ITT: no one gets the joke. What has 4chan become?

>>50739320
If you're telling me I have to become a "smoker", sounds good!

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>>50731682
>>50733671
>>50738869
>>50738915
Get back to /pol/ or /b/ and stop breathing, you sick failures of humans.

>>50739401
You support Wizbro's bullshit?

>>50739401

lol cry more

>>50739224
Pretty sure that was sarcasm.

As for the tournament, I think those were just some side events to give female proplayers more visbility. The entire goal of the lady planeswalker society is to get groups into magic that don't feel welcome.

>>50739311
That's why nobody can find my cards, dumbass.

>>50739462

>Women
>Don't feel welcome

LOL

>>50739462
>The entire goal of the lady planeswalker society is to get groups into magic that don't feel welcome.
by excluding boys because they are the wrong sex.

>>50739484
The male side of the market is pretty saturated at this point, so...
Yes.

Hasbro needs to make those dank NEET monies somehow.

>>50739637
>The male side of the market is pretty saturated at this point, so...
That's not how customer demographics works and even if it was, it's no excuse for sexist discrimination.

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>>50739670

>>50739670
It is. If you have an overwhelming demographic, you want to keep that demographic.

If you try to pander to others, people will see right through it and immediately say "You think that making this PINK appeals to women? Misogynistic cunt!" or "Adding a black guy appeals to black people? That nigga ain't black, he's a white guy who looks black".

>LGS is out of fresh butter

>>50739687
>>50739715
>have 10% of men and 2% of women
>better alienate the men!
>after all, we'd only lose 5% of people!
>and there's 49% out there for the taking!
You're retarded.

>>50713658
>Not encasing your cards in the hardest metal known to man
>diamond

>>50739462
>Pretty sure that was sarcasm.
I'm not sure anymore, because this really sounds like something someone might actually say, these days.

>The entire goal of the lady planeswalker society is to get groups into magic that don't feel welcome.
What pisses me off is the double-standard. That women absolutely have to get in on "boys stuff", but men aren't welcome when it's time for "girls time". It's fucked up.

>>50739917
I know. It's pretty frustrating that I can't talk about sewing with women. They lose all interest in me. I don't even sperg about it, I just mention that I've made some of my own clothing for various things.

>>50740048
Then perhaps you are dealing with fucktards and should take your sewing elsewhere?

>go to FLGS
>they ask me to hand in my firearm at the door

>>50740064
Oh I do. It's just annoying that I mention I do something that isn't strictly considered masculine and most women magically lose interest. Never mind that my primary hobbies are games (TT and vidya), shooting sports, and cars. In that order.

>>50712915
>Higher level of level

Anyway... What would happen in case of a fire?

>>50722222
>t. Bear Grills

>>50712611
A gaming store I went to actually had a policy that said "Non-smokers have priority over smokers, thus smokers are subject to expulsion when the non-smoking area is full"

This was before a widespread smoking ban

File: 41618.png (40KB, 335x245px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 335x245px

>>50740048
Go on...

>>50740174
>It's just annoying that I mention I do something that isn't strictly considered masculine and most women magically lose interest.
Why would women be interested in someone who even just possibly might not be willing to give them the man-woman treatment?

>>50723945
>his falcon can't shuffle cards
Falconlets please go