Grim Dark Hobbits

>>50625659
I feel like racist white trash would be better, maybe add in cannibalism for some justified by being gluttonous.
>You ain't in elf country no more boy
>Or maybe you ain't a boy at all its mighty hard to tell with you elves

>>50625659
>Grim Dark Hobbits
Dark Sun.

There are plenty of evil hobbits in the penultimate chapter of Lord of The Rings.

>>50625681

>Party of elves walking through the shire
>Duelling Banjos start playing

>>50625659
Lazy, hedonistic cannibals.

Done.

>>50625681
>>50625689

That's trying too hard.

>>50625659
Skavens are basically grimdark hobbits.

>>50625706
How is being white trash trying too hard? They are already the equivalent of folksy country people, this just adds in the likely racism and hatred of outsiders likely to result from rural isolationism. They don't need to rape the PCs when they enter town, they could just be racist dicks who try to con or fuck over the party and won't help them unless they get something in return. Just pepper their speech with outsiders with insults or attempts to extort money.

>>50625659
So rather than grim dark you want imperialistic and capatilist hobbitsiz

File: 1399324917779.jpg (28KB, 175x175px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 175x175px

>>50625659
You can't have imperialistic halflings because of what they are, you nigger. They're short, rotund fellows who aren't even anywhere as strong or stocky as dwarves. Imperialism doesn't work when 90% of sapient creatures can wreck your shit purely on accident.

Though having them try would be hilarious. Having a bunch of halflings walk into a human city, plant a flag and declare it part of the Hobbit Empire. People would either laugh or ignore them, until one of them waves around a knife and accidentily hurts a child, at which point they just get their shit wrecked by a bunch of very angry human guards.

>>50625911
Hey, who says you have to take it by force? It doesn't matter if you're a tiny cunt if you've got non tiny cunt bodyguards and are bribing the mayor so hard you basically run the city.

File: fatness.jpg (201KB, 788x809px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 788x809px

>>50625659

Have another roast big Melvin. Have two, you're a hero now.

>>50625935
>It doesn't matter if you're a tiny cunt if you've got non tiny cunt bodyguards and are bribing the mayor so hard you basically run the city.
I wonder who could be behind this post...

>>50625681
>>50625751
This is the way to go. Even if the setting is grim dark, I don't feel hobbits ought to be quite as sinister as other elements of the world.
They represented englishmen and idyllic countryside. If you want to twist it, the logical direction is to keep the countryside aspect but change the carefree cheer to a real world equivalent of a countryside that is not as happy and welcoming.
Deep, deep, most backwater US south or exaggerated Appalachian mountain folk or even swamp dwellers if you want to take it a step further

>>50625659
>hobbits are based off good old traditionalist farmer folk
>what are the fucking farmer/hillfolk like near you?

Insular, backstabbing, inbred, xenophobic fuckwits that'll lure you in with country charm before drugging, raping, and then murdering you. You know, Trump supporters!

>>50625911
Sure it can work. See gnomes in Arcanum.

File: w1wwe8t.png (86KB, 605x602px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 605x602px

>>50625971
>Deep, deep, most backwater US south

You don't mean Florida hobbit?

>>50626116
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/florida-man-disembowels-girlfriend-after-she-yells-out-exs-name-during-sex-1520640
>he became a "monster" and inserted his hand inside his victim's vagina and began to pull out her intestines.

>>50625659
>Grim Dark Hobbits

Hobbits shoot to kill, Anon.

File: half.jpg (114KB, 1000x500px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 1000x500px

>>50626322

>>50625939
this was mah game

File: 1479103861502.jpg (572KB, 1273x2208px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 1273x2208px

>>50625659
>Grimdark hobbits
Anon, please.
We all know that hobbits would be nobledark, kinda like the Chicago mafia.

Sure, there are violent gang wars and exorbitant business protection fees.

But there are also speakeasies and ballrooms where life is wonderful and drunk on pleasure, where pipeweed is sold by the pounds, beautiful shortstack hobbits spin around the pole and swing those hips and shake them down, and booze flows freely.

Hobbits are defined by their sybaritic lifestyles, so why the fuck not?

>>50625659
All hobbit women are whores because they consider it an easier way to make a living than actually working.

delicious shortstack whores...

>>50625735
Honestly Skaven are a bad example of a rat race, who are actually intelligent and are an animal species that can explicitly display compassionate behavior, also much more hygienic than the 'filthy rat' stereotype suggests.

A 'noblebright subversion' of skaven as a ratfolk civ in a setting might actually be pretty good.

>>50625911
What if you give the halfling imperialists machine guns?

>>50626966
incase plz

>>50625659
Shadowmoor Kithkin. The thing you are looking for is Shadowmoor Kithkin. They are literally 'hobbits' forced into a grimdark world and their unity and community becoming extreme xenophobia for anyone who isn't one of them.

>>50626983
furry spotted

>>50627137
Its true though. Rats are highly social and intelligent animals, these qualities make them much better as pet species than mice.

Bad hobbits are a subversion of Tolkien now?

Scourging of the Shire.

Gollum.

Then again, given what it is applied to, Tolkienesque would seem mostly to mean "fantasy that's nothign like Tolkien's works".

>>50627164
I had a pet rat. He was the best.

>>50626966
>>50627071
Then of course there's the violent gangwars between bands of Goblin and Hobbit whores as each tries to corner the midget-prostitute market.

>>50627208
Uncommon instances. Saruman's goons were mostly men and Gollum was perverted by the Ring's corruption.
The topic is about 'what if majority of the hobbits were bad in some way'.

>>50627318
across all three counties of the Sweetwater creek, no man's crotch was safe during those dark times

Grimdark Hobbits?

Regular Hobbit society exists BUT the Hobbit Intelligence Agency goes around committing atrocities and inciting war among the other races. All with a goal of destabilizing the realm and keeping the larger races from expanding into Hobbit lands.

Hobbit SAD (Special Adventures Division) goes on wet ops deep into human, elf and dwarf lands to assassinate kings, princes, dukes, and merchants to keep the pot stirring and the Hobbit way of life intact.

>>50626071
>>Heilary supported
Report for deportation, subhuman.
We're done with your kind.

>>50627447
Reminds me of the Trust of Zilargo, in the Eberron setting. Those guys will fuck your shit up.

File: send help.jpg (60KB, 497x750px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 497x750px

>>50627164
They have no problems switching their sleeping-cycles to sync up with human's and they like being petted and enjoy closeness with their human owners.

All the same, folks keep buying hamsters, who're noctural, and rabbits, who're fucking terrified of being in the vincinity of humans.

>>50625659
FemBilbo is something so pure I want to corrupt and twist it.

>>50628980
Yes, because they're more conventionally cute rodents.
Pet rats are cute to many, else they wouldn't be a thing, but they seem to require a bit more discerning eye.
The image of common rat as a sign of filth and pestilence is so ingrained to us culturally that some just can't get over it even if the rat in question is a selectively bred domestic rat.

>>50627130
This.

>>50629102
>FemBilbo is something so pure I want to corrupt and twist it.
Reminder that The Ring did it before you.

>>50630497
Actually funny.

Merge hobbits and goblins. You are welcome.

>>50630608
...Hobgoblins?

>>50625751

Like the Asuras from guild wars 2 maybe?

>>50629940
The only thing I have against rats is how short their lives are. I know we'll outlive all our pets that aren't African Greys or a dog we buy when we're old or recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, but two or three years for an intelligent and fun animal is kind short for the emotional sting it'll be when it dies. I really like pet rats, but don't think I'd ever get one.

Grimdark hobbits are making them small slave people, totally brutal victorian child labour type shit, except with hobbits.

They're not likely to be the evil ones, but the victims of such.

File: image_14.jpg (158KB, 500x660px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 500x660px

>>50626150
I'm not even a chick and I closed my legs.
There are some things you just don't do.

>>50630608
I like it. Like a whole race made of Rumpelstilstkin.

>>50632740
That's Dwarves.

File: gobbet reads your post.png (186KB, 709x353px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 709x353px

>>50630608
A gobbit you say?

>>50632779
Made my day.

File: gobbet and is0bel.jpg (75KB, 640x855px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 640x855px

>>50632797
Gobbet makes everyone's day.

>>50625659
I consider it more neutral but I have been considering religious separatist hobbits on the fringe of the wild maybe in the wild

I saw a pathfinder video of halfling gods and I wrote that they are religious separatists of the god of community who want only to be associated with their community(because while most halflings like humans they are insulted they took their god and made him the god of hearth and home)

>>50625681
>I feel like racist white trash would be better
As somone who's spent his entire life in the American south, I'm absolutely fucking sick of that caricature. Shit you see in Deliverence is fringe groups at worst and pure flanderization at best. Yeah, we don't drink our mineral water with our pinkies raised like they do in the overcrowded cities. The meth and moonshine is real, but there is nothing inherently evil about the lifestyle.

>>50631607
Neither rural and rustic nor isolationist and their attitude is only somewhat condescending.
And certainly not uneducated because the whole race is built around the stupid idea of 'we are all super geniuses, you can't even begin to undesrtand our intellect xD'

>>50627337
full gollum folk. cannibal tribe of halfling that hunt done people at night. Plus it connect to their fay-folk origin.
Alternatively, if you want hobbit in a grimdark, imagine them forced to live in an industrial revolution setting, working in factory, living in crowded slum, and getting spat on by superiro races (elves/humans/other)
Kind of like if saruman would have win

>>50632374
You don't usually get rats as singular pets anyway due to their inherent sociability. They like people but kind of need another rat or two as buddies.
You'd have to go through multiple deaths and then procure 'new ones'.

>>50633001
What about a set of Hobbits forced into cannibalism by scarce resources in the grimderp hell of no sun, no crops, only industrialized plunder, podunk anti-tech, or blood magic and secrecy in the setting where evil won?

>>50633024
Yeah, that's grim as shit. Death is the way all things go, but you get emotionally attached to pets and that kind of cycle would be depressing as shit. I've heard if you get ferrets that aren't breeding farm ones you might get up to eight years on them and have been thinking of maybe getting a pair. I don't have much living space to myself (and work five days a week) so couldn't really countenance getting a dog but have been wanting a pet. I was thinking about a couple ferrets, since they can keep each other company in their cage during the day and come out at night. Unlike a dog which will, especially when new to a home, not be especially happy to be left alone in a small apartment all day.

>>50633001
Is there readable/bearable/not full retarded fanfiction of Saruman win scenario
Yeah, I know
>fanfiction
but I've just never thought about this and it sort of sparked some form of interest in me.

>>50632950
Settle down Cletus, go back to fucking your cousin after getting her smashed on moonshine.

>>50633160
Don't you have some Starbucks to get before your Polynesian literary history class?

>>50632950
You think anything in grimdark is at all based in reality?

>>50633160
I can't hear you over the sound of a Somalian raping you and your family.

>>50632950
>this triggers the redneck

>>50628980
Rabbits just need to be socialized properly. If you handle them a lot when they're young and respect their space, they're fine.

>>50633220
Yeah, when you fuck your family it's consensual.

>>50633285
At least I don't have to lock my doors at night and pray to god that niggers don't shoot yet another of my neibhors.

File: seriously though it's snowing so hard right now send help.gif (221KB, 275x210px) Image search: [Google]

221KB, 275x210px

>Be from the rural North.
>See this fight.

>>50633362
You knew what you were getting into when you chose to live outside of the tropics.

>>50633362
>rural North.
you mean Canada?

>>50633513
>>50633522
Upper Michigan. Honestly I don't even mind the snow and cold. I'd rather deal with that than heat.

>>50633541
I'm the opposite. I'll sit there in boiling soup-air and not give a shit or happily do yard work, but when the temperature drops below 50 I shut myself inside and layer blankets

>>50632950

> Oklahomafag here

I agree with this sentiment, but I don't mind redneck stereotype carciatures as long as there are other stereotype caricatures in the setting.

>>50626071

Also, your libcuck tears are delicious.

>>50633568
I have four-wheel drive and an extreme resistance to cold. I like it where I live.

>>50625659
I think WH40K has a race of tiny furry hedonistic snipers

>>50632950
> *Billie-Jean hollered from a distant hilltop*

>>50633337
Yeah, locking the door wouldn't do you any good when your brother-father-cousin wants his turn with grandmaw's ass and he's got a shotgun in the next room.

>>50633568
>>50633541

I lived in central Texas up until I was 18, lived in the Midwest for a few years, and now live in Coastal Maine.

Gotta say, while it's nice to have Spring and Autumn be shorts and t-shirt weather, I'd rather deal with the chill of a New England Winter, than live through another Texas Summer.

>>50635225
I'm the opposite, I will happily roast rather than freeze. Raised in south Louisiana, live a bit more north than that now. Where winters might actually do an ice storm or some bullshit like that. Unnatural, I feel.

Actually, now I really like the idea of some imperialistic hobbits.

A human army lines up against regimented rows of tiny hobbits in sharp 18th century british styled uniforms. "Look at those little shits! All they brought to battle are some sticks!"

The halfling commander gives orders and the sound of hundreds of muskets rocks the medieval battlefield. "By the Gods! They have boomsticks!"

>>50626812
That's literally how halflings operate in our campaign. They're secretly the real reason why society doesn't get wiped out every time the Apocalypse happens by being the ones that actually run everything behind the scenes. The result is a giant mafia that keeps tabs on literally EVERYTHING in the kingdom and typically leads to cultists getting thier throats slit before they can leave royal archives and a lot of poisoned spelunkers.

>>50635419
>>50635225
As someone who has to deal with both the insane heat and the insane cold (living in Syberia), I prefer the cold.
I mean, sure, winter is shit, but at least you can still think comparatively clearly during the cold. When it's hot, I feel like my brain overheats.

File: Image.jpg (32KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 223x310px

>>50627130
This

>>50627231
Everyone always talk of their rats int he past tense. Apparently they live no longer than a gnat's fart, which makes me not want to get too emotionally invested.

>>50625659
They sell WEED

They become fat NARCOS that invest heavely on real state.

HOBBITON HAS INVADED CHINA

>>50636215
I honestly cannot get the cold stance here. I get in the cold and even under a million layers I'm miserable. Heat, sure it kind of sucks but I'm so used to it that it barely registers besides needing to drink (a lot) more water

>>50625659
Hobbits are a slave race of the orcs. They castrate something like 90% of the men, treating both them and the women like cattle.

>>50636439
During the cold, you can keep warm simply by wearing a lot of clothes.
During the heat, you need refrigeration/conditioning just to remain at a comfortable temperature.

>>50636285

Most domestic rats come from laboratory stock somewhere down the line, which means that they're generally prone to health conditions that shorten their lifespan to about three or four years at the most.

I've heard anecdotal evidence that some breeders crossed wild rats into their domestic stock, and the resulting offspring lived for around seven years.

File: Consider-The-Following-random-31200159-500-500.jpg (37KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 500x500px

>>50633541
>>50633568
>>50635225
>>50635419
>>50636215
>>50636439
You can always put on more clothes to warm up, but you can only take off so many. Save money, keep the thermostat down.

>>50625681
That's retarded. Hobbits are English as fuck and racist white trash is an American stereotype. You might as well make your elves surly mountain-dwellers with beards and a fondness for ale first, how fucking original. Racist stereotypes don't make for good worldbuilding, just lazy worldbuilding.

>>50625971
>If you want to twist it, the logical direction is to keep the countryside aspect but change the carefree cheer to a real world equivalent of a countryside that is not as happy and welcoming.
Stepford Halflings?

>>50637056
Sure as hell better than making them redcoats because reasons. Hobbits and halflings are simple country folk, if you want to make simple country folk grimdark or scary utilize the fact that they are simple country folk instead of just going "yeah my Hobbits are imperialistic redcoats." I am sure British have their own negative stereotypes for people who live in the country, if the idea of "Americanizing" hobbits gets your britches in a bunch just use those stereotypes.

Changing hobbits to be more American isn't like making elves into dwarves, you aren't changing their physiology at all and are keeping the core of their culture, it is more like making wood elves into jungle elves. Now they have tribal body paint and are darker skinned, maybe throw in some cannibalism if you want it to be grimdark. The elves are still light, graceful people in tune with nature, the hobbits are still simple country folk.

>>50631167
>goblins: chaotic douchebags
>hobbits: lawful gentlemen
>hobgoblins: lawful douchebags
Son of a bitch...!

>>50637056
>>50637131
Chaotic countryfolk are an ageold stereotype.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ng3fG1u4Xg

File: skeptical hobbit.png (234KB, 397x355px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 397x355px

>>50637131
>Hobbits and halflings are simple country folk, if you want to make simple country folk grimdark or scary utilize the fact that they are simple country folk instead of just going "yeah my Hobbits are imperialistic redcoats.
They're not "simple," you dipshit. Not every Hobbit is Merry, or even Sam. Starting from there means you're already confused about the foundational aspects of hobbits. I'll show you:

>agrarian, generally inhabiting fields and hills, but not especially connected to nature or shamanism
You could play with this by tweaking their naturalism: what if hobbits were even less invested in nature, and existed in boroughs instead of villages?
>generally insular and/or distrustful of outsiders and outsiders' businesses. See: opening chapters of the Fellowship, the opening and closing chapters of the Hobbit.
You can play with this, as many other sources have, by ramping up the insularity and xenophobia to higher degreees. Somebody else here has already mentioned Shadowmoor, I see.
>family- and comfort- oriented, but not above petty squabbles. See: the Baggins -- Took grudge.
You can play with this, as has also been suggested, by making Hobbits even more family and/or grudge oriented: this is where the idea of hobbits as Mafiosos or mob leaders emerges.
>fond of festivals and shows of luxury, sometimes shown via acts of required generosity. See: Bilbo's birthday party and the noted customs of hobbits in this segment
You can play with this by tweaking how this is expressed. In Arda, it's usually shown off with picnics, banquets, and presents, but what if hobbits were bankers instead, and had to show off with jubilee celebrations where debts are forgiven?

I expect you'll try and retort by accusing me of clinging to Tolkien tropes, but considering that Tolkien literally invented hobbits tells me that his works are the best possible source for informing any argument on what constitutes the fundamental nature of halflings.

Faggot.

File: 1445804976636.jpg (248KB, 1280x1280px) Image search: [Google]

248KB, 1280x1280px

I'd go with clannish, gentlemen farmers who hate outsiders trying to tell them what to do and who use money from cash crops to hire mercenaries to protect them. They would consider non-hobbits to be stupid and only good for physical labor. Their families would stretch out past the horizon with young hobbits spending an ungodly amount of time learning just how they are or are not relate to the dizzining number of aunts and uncles that stop by for months or years at a time. Think a mixture of Chinese, Antebellum American South, Jews, and Mafia.

>>50632950
That's what happens after you lose a war to corporatism. They purposefully killed your culture and made you hilarious carricture hill folk people. Southerners in the US are basically Kulaks of the Soviet Union.

>>50625659
What about making grimdark Kender?

>>50637056
Clearly you have never met rural Englishmen.

Give groups of Hobbits the ability to fuse into giant horrific abominations of flesh.

You are a hulking barbarian bandit raiding a halfling village, it's gonna be a milk run right? They are basically fat children with loot.
Walked up and stabbed a couple of the pudgy midgets and are going through their pockets.
But then all of a sudden BY THE CRUEL AND HATEFUL GODS! You are being smothered by a massive wave of flesh and limbs and teeth that lurched out of nowhere and is eating you alive!

It then consumes the hobbit corpses before disgustingly breaking into multiple fleshy sacks that reform into the individuals that formed, who proceed to tidy up and go back to their regular lives, leaving no evidence behind of any strife.

>>50644056
Hi, Raggi.

>>50644056
I had a similar idea for a Gibbering Mouther except the mouths are all conversing in a small english town folk sort of way. Constantly gossiping as it dissolves your flesh and eats you alive.

>>50637131
>I am sure British have their own negative stereotypes for people who live in the country
yeah, and that is exactly what the Hobbits are

The Eveningtide block of Magic the Gathering had Kithkin I thought of as hobbits.

Small towns of small people who could see well in the dark, because it was always night.

Their homes were hidden from other races and trapped. The people had standing millitias to protect their homes, and were raised to fear everything outside of their home. Their leaders used that fear to make people trust them and obey.

Because everything outside of their home was dangerous and would probably kill them. And they were right. If one of them left the village alone, they were not expected to come back. And if they did, it was probably some changeling, so don't trust it, and possibly lynch it just to be safe.

Not sure how relevant to the thread this is, but in "Wicked Fantasy", the halfling equivalent race (Haffuns) are essentially a grittier take on Pathfinder's halflings; they're a race of born servants who love to serve humanity... because they suffer a magically charged super-empathy that makes them compelled to be generous to those in genuine need. Also, they consider protecting their chosen charges important enough to be worth the life of anyone who isn't a "designated master".

So, that cute shortstack halfling maid neatly dusting in the corner and who's giving you coy looks? When a burglar broke in two nights ago, she gutted him like a fish, fed his body to the pigs, and then cleaned up the mess so that you never knew he'd been there. After all, she wouldn't want you to worry about little trifles like that.

>>50646336
Less hobbits and halflings then, more like Harry Potter house elves.

>>50646470
House elves are terrible, well, more like all the magical stuff in harry potter is terrible.

>>50637163
Would that mean that there also exist gobbits, who are chaotic gentlemen?

File: 1460238885377.png (699KB, 900x1155px) Image search: [Google]

699KB, 900x1155px

>>50648261

Oh the gentlelings of gobboshire are already well taken care of.

>>50625659
There's a faction that's more grimdark hobbits in Conquest of Elysium 4. Hoburgs are that game's generic hobbit, and there's a split off faction lead by a type of baron called a Markgraf. Basically, they live in shitty less arable lands and the population pressure and the ruthlessness of the Markgraf make them turn to necromancy to support the population, in particular resulting in ghouls that eat entirely too much in addition to zombie armies, vampire, lich, and wraith leaders and such.