The Uniform

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>>50587651

So how do I put on the zipper if it's on the back?

Okay. What's the point of this thread?

>>50587663
The same way you pull up a zipper on a dress.

>>50587663
"Computer, unzip me."

you're on a fucking starfleet ship

>>50587669
Star Trek uniforms are fucking lame.

The right way to do a space military uniform is anything copying the Nazis.

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>>50587663
>doesn't know how to use the zipper clams
MAXIMUM PLEB

>>50587651
I think the belt loop isn't true. Doctor and such always seem to have the phaser or scanner handy, but never visible on their hips when not being used.

>>50587679
So how would it do that, genius? With the hands it doesn't have? With the motor that's not on the zipper? Tiny tractor beam? The helpful robot servants that aren't in the setting?

>>50587694
Wrong. Sashes, Tight Cowls, and asymetrical capes or mantles.

And workwear is a jumpsuit/coverall.

Apparently the reason they switched to the two-piece toward the end of TNG was that Patrick Stewart refused to wear the old one any longer, as the stirrups were causing him severe back pain.

>>50587724
I bend one arm behind my back, pull the zipper up halfway from my hip. And then bend my other arm over my back, grab the zipper, and pull down on the outfit with the original arm as I pull up with the arm behind my head.

Zipping the back by yourself is not hard. Drag queens been doing it for a hundred years now.

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>>50587694
wrong

>>50587731
>Wrong.

Right.

>>50587651
I quite enjoyed a novel where an older member of Star Fleet possessed a decommissioned Starfleet parka, with heating coils for the cold and, something that made him the object of some envy, very large pockets.

Christ, imagine how naked the Away Teams feel when they're told to beam down to some alien planet just wearing their PJs.

>>50587760
I didn't ask how to unzip a zipper, I asked how the computer would do that for you. Do you have short term amnesia or something?

>>50587777
Yeah, a military uniform without pockets is kind of a terrible idea, no matter how advanced their technology is.

>>50587813
That's the joke, sperg. The computer wouldn't do it for you. You'd be told how to do it and your incompetence logged for discussion at your next performance review.

>unzip
I clearly explained how to zip it up.

I will NOT wear the red one.

>>50587847
Depends on the series. After TOS, red is also Command.

...hmm. You can either go for (relatively) safe Engineering or Science posts, with the respective hazards, or risk it all and go for red, being made either a Redshirt or Captain/etc.

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>>50587694
This.

>>50587768
What were the Empire's uniforms supposed to be made from? Leather and metal? Or just slightly shiny fabric?

The art style of 80s and early 90s anime does materials really badly.

>>50587882
Command track is where you go if you're too stupid to do anything else.

>>50587957
Not security?

>>50587651
1. Needs retractable sleeves. Long sleeves tend to catch on things.

2. Belt should come with a waterproof pouch that Is tucked on the inside of the belt loop, and is otherwise unnoticeable until you pull it out. The pouch is insulated, temperature resistant and able to be used for chemical sampling, boil water, etc.

3. Belt clip needs a retractable edge that can be used as an emergency knife.

>>50587928
>olive drab fabric
>off-center coat closure
More of a Soviet rip-off than Nazi.

>>50587993
Security is trained in combat.

Command is trained in fucking up and ignoring code of conduct when it suits you.

There have been dozens of episodes on this. Pay attention.

>>50588005
They always reminded me more of Imperial Japan to be honest.

>>50588017
I can kinda see that, especially the collar on the uniform jacket.

>>50587996
Also, pockets. Pockets would be nice.

>>50587928
rip tight pete-o

>>50587694
I could go for this. The Nazis were horrible people, but they were VERY snappy dressers.

>>50587760
Why did your mind go to "drag queens" before it went to "women"? No judgment.

>>50588456
Girls can ask for help. That's not uncommon

Trans have to do it themselves.

>>50587953
I always assumed they were black cotton or wool (or the future equivalent) and the shine was just highlights. Even in a tux today, you can see reflections where it picks up bright lights.

>>50588456
The asker is no doubt male, so the answer would best be delivered so that a man would use the knowledge. I don't know how women zip up. I'm sure it's not much different. But the fact that broad shouldered men are capable of finishing a dress and have been for a hundred years punctuates how stupid a question it is.

>>50587694
>The right way to do a space military uniform is anything copying the Nazis.
Are you children so young you haven't even read the evil overlord list? You NEVER dress like the nazis. That makes you lose the first time a rebellion starts.

>>50588559
Broad-shouldered, but also long-armed. Unless they're wearing a sleeved dress that's too small, I think it'd actually be easier for the average guy to zip up than the average girl, though to be fair I don't exactly have a study with which to back up that claim.

Though also, there are a lot of side-zip dresses nowadays.

>>50588479
Drag queens and transgender are two different things. I'm kind of a stickler for terminology.

>>50588388
That's the power of a Boss designer. A Hugo Boss.

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>>50587694
>The right way to do a space military uniform is anything copying the Nazis.
If you're going to dress your space army as obvious bad guys, don't half-ass it with Nazi uniforms.

When it comes to evil uniforms, the more over-the-top it is, the better.

>>50588842
The ones in your picture don't look very evil though...

>>50588842
Having a uniform for the evil army is the first mistake.

Encourage underlings to wear whatever is practical including whatever their favorite band/singer is. But to occlude their face whenever they intend to do something clearly against popular opinion.

Otherwise wear whatever, and be loud. Bonus points for special snowflaking and claiming to be rebels. Do whatever you can to discredit those that would oppose us without being associated with us when you're doing it.

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Outta my way, fashionless plebs!

>>50588869
>not keeping what you kill

>>50588883
George Soros please go, and take your "Antifa" rioters with you. Everyone knows they're an organized army of darkness just pretending to be rebels.

>>50588959
Heaven's me, anon. I was talking about CIA operatives. Not useful idiots.

But they're strikingly similar, aren't they..?

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>>50588974
Different branches of the same organization, anon.

>>50588974
>Implying the CIA puts their operatives in danger
>Not just having handlers who hold the leash of avarice consumed foreign dogs who would do anything for a scrap of the US's dinner

Also
>Implying the CIA is evil

>>50588959
>>>/pol/

>>50588959
Wow you really provided a surprise twist to the post of that other poster who is a different poster than you. You must be quite a jokester to have such mastery of humor to take a thing that you did not originally write and spontaneously wrap it up into a perfect humorous package

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>not using sleeve ranks aka the greatest acheivement in rank dissemination ever devised in recorded millitary history

so much for the future lads

>>50589097
>embroidered rank emblems
Enjoy having to order a whole new set of uniforms every time you promote an officer.

>>50589185
>paying for the uniform of the members
It comes out of their pay.

>>50589185
Or just have people who know how to embroider.

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>>50587651
>This is your uniform. It is an efficient single piece garment with a zipper in the back. Rank displayed by pips on the the collar. It comes with boots and a belt for carrying a sidearm and scanning device.

>>50589015
>Ixrdnl, we don't mind you being on the council to represent your race, but we'd like to ask you to not slouch in your seat, it reflects poorly.

>>50587651
If the zipper is in the back how do I pee?

>>50589576
...huh. I guess this is where the dress comparison falls apart.

I think you'd have to ask someone who wears rompers.

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>>50589576

>>50589633
The only guy I know who wears a romper regularly shits his pants and is better at throwing creamed corn than eating it.

>>50589720
Aww.

But I'm more referring to adult women who wear rompers. You have to have juuuuuust the right body to pull it off, so it's rare, but it does happen.

So now we just need someone to wait outside a Forever 21 to ask women how they go to the bathroom.

>>50587651
I always thought they were two-piece suits and you just couldn't tell because the waist on both the shirt and pants are featureless black.

>>50589784
I think they changed to uniform to that mid TNG

I much prefer the latter DS9 uniforms

>>50589954
Yup. The actors had problems with >>50589576

>>50588828
Stop spreading this meme! The Hugo Boss company was involved with manufacturing some Nazi uniforms but they were designed by party insiders. Hugo Boss himself had no input on the designs.

>>50589720
Grandpa??

>>50590250
The "I was just following orders!!" defense.

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>>50589097
To hell with sleeve ranks, pips forever!

>>50588388
>>50590250
Boss joined the Nazi party in 1931, and was an enthusiastic supporter of the Reich and Fuhrer. While he didn't personally design the SS uniform (which was designed by Karl Diebitsch and Walter Heck), he did continue to manufacture clothing and uniforms for both the SA and SS from 1932 until the dissolution of both on Germany's unconditional surrender thirteen years later. He was subsequently severely punished for his political actions, and was unable to vote as a consequence at the time of his death from a tooth abscess in 1948.

However, while Diebitsch (no, really, stop laughing) and Heck 'designed' the uniform, it was in the main simply a modified M36, which drew on decades of extant German military uniforms and, as a consequence, had no true 'designer'; it did not innovate in any practical way, but simply differed slightly in style (reflecting the international fashions of the 1930s) from earlier uniforms, with the bells and whistles the only real contribution that Diebitsch, Heck, or Boss could possibly have made - it's a functional, hard-wearing military uniform in a similar form to contemporary modernized uniforms worn in other nations.

Regardless of design attribution, however, Hugo Boss (the designer) and Hugo Boss (the manufacturing concern) were both deeply involved in manufacture of these uniforms, and the man himself was an enthusiastic supporter of Nazism and Adolf Hitler, and also of using slave labor to cut costs.

>>50590987
Interesting. What's your source or sources?

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>>50587651
Engineering to bridge. Captain, you know we're working with energized plasma under magnetic containment down here, right? The goggles, they do nothing.

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>>50591039
>>50587651
Sickbay to engineering. Can I have your goggles? I've got a surgery to perform. Some surgical masks and somewhere to scrub up that isn't exposed to the corridor would be nice too.

>>50591023
http://group.hugoboss.com/files/Study_on_the_Companys_History_Abridged_Verson_en_final.pdf

Most of it's here. Read around, you'll find the rest.

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>>50587651
>>50587694

So, I polled some of the admirals, and apparently >>50587768 has the right of it. Two admirals looked at that shit and kicked me out of their office. Two of them required all their reserve to not laugh me out. One simply sneered in derision.

>>50590987
>Diebitch, Heck, and Boss
the fakest law firm

>>50587928
Imperial officers uniforms were designed by Tarkin, meant to look good but also be comfy as fuck.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_military_uniforms

>>50591520
"While I can appreciate devotion to one's sartorial programming, I've no interest in initiating a fashion trend on Coruscant or anywhere else. I simply want a uniform that fits. Especially the boots. The stars know, my feet have logged more kilometers aboard Star Destroyers than during surface deployments, even in a facility of this size."
―Moff Tarkin,

>>50591530
Why don't they use hoverboards if they have to travel such great distances on starships that are kilometers long?

>>50591798
Why don't high-power executives wear heelies? Because they're too stubborn to recognize progress when they see it.

>>50587953
>The art style of 80s and early 90s anime does materials really badly.
Nah, it's just a depreciated art style. Most concurrent people have no problem interpreting it.

>>50589202
Or you could just have pips and pay them less. More for the war treasury!

>>50588842
I never understood why that guy just sort of accepted Riddick as his ruler instead of murdering him immediately to take his place

they just showed Riddick becoming the Necromunger king or whatever by killing the other guy with a knife and he had a big-ass halberd in his hand, and Riddick had his guard down because he was mourning, why not kill Riddick and take his goddamn place?

>>50591981
That's a good question.

I guess Riddick could order his newly-acquired troops to attack him?

>>50591981
Riddick is Space Conan.

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>>50587651
>Zipper in the back and no pockets
You had one job starfleet.

>>50587651

I am wondering if that is Glenn Close on the left there.

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This is now your uniform. Kill anyone that laughs.

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>>50591382
The most stylish law firm

>Sir, why do we keep hiring these guys? the lose every case!
>Yeah, but they look so good doing it

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Say what you will about Star Trek Enterprise but at least their uniforms made sense.

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Spare ammo? Right here in my Liefeldpouch.

>>50587651
Where's the pockets

>>50593197
Now this is a uniform!

>>50587694
What if I copy the Soviets or ChiComs instead?

>>50590987
Fuck I never realized how evil Boss was, I just thought he did it cause patriotism not "hey maybe we should get some slaves just saying"

>>50593056
Reminded of the Mass Effect uniforms.

They were pretty good. Not necessarily the best, they didn't look particularly stylish unless you made Shepard wear a dress uniform but it looked useable and something you might give to your spaceship crew.

>>50589436
now he just looks like a silly billy

>>50587996

I always find it weird that Bones had short sleeves in TOS because he was a doctor, yet everyone wears long sleeves in every other series.

>>50587676
>The same way you pull up a zipper on a dress.

Have your husband do it for you?

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>>50587694
While I won't say you're definitively right, you're definitely not wrong.
>>50593320
You get ten pieces of unfuncioning shit for the price of a functional piece of shit. Sure, the soviets made the kalashnikov rifles and some good space rockets, but would you really prefer a chicom or a russian ballistic vest over a german one?

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>>50587731

Don't forget the cravat and swagger-stick.

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>>50598153
>over a german one
Yeah.

>>50590862
But those are shoulderboards.

>>50587651
but i'm fat, it'll be extremely grotesque.

>>50591835
Fuck that, I'd buy professional looking black leather heelies right now if they existed.

>>50602016
Have you tried not being fat?

>>50588559
This.
I used to have to wear a stupid pizza costume and stand in front of my first workplace, holding a sign. Even with the limited movement of the arms and four-fingered hands I managed to zip myself up with little to no trouble after practice.

>>50587663
>OP is just a statement
>reply comes less than a minute later turning the thread into an actual discussion
Why didn't you just use your trip and post the question in the OP? You clearly made this thread after all.

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>>50587651
>Rank displayed by pips on the the collar
This was the only thing I liked about the TNG uniforms

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>>50604053

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>>50604077

>>50587651
>single piece
But what about when you need to adjust the dick and balls?

>>50588823
Transvestite, last I heard, had 'trans' in its spelling.

>In the future of Star Trek people have stopped using camo
Whatever I love it when people can easily spot me

>>50587694
>Starfleet
>military

>>50589784
They are and that's the one featured int he OP.

The first season and mid second season was a single piece suit with the zipper in the back and pinstripes on the shoulders.

It also has stirup style zippers on the legs.

>>50605286
What are you talking about? There's plenty of black in the uniforms to camouflage you against the darkness of space.

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>>50587651
>This is your uniform. It is an efficient 87 piece garment with a dashing fez, a pleated miniskirt, iron-studded clogs with decorative pompoms, kawaii stockings, poofy blouse, ribbons, garters and yes this is a real thing

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>>50590987
Really put the /fa/ in /fa/cism.

>>50587651
>one piece
Haven't we seen men with their shirts off and the pants of the uniform still on? Or was that just Kirk?

>>50606174
>kirk
>pants on

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>>50594283
>>50589436

>>50606065
Loli commanders are the best.

>>50606514

Why don't we put little girls in charge of real-world militaries? It seems like a plan that can't fail.

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>>50606539
You fool.

>>50606539
Worked for the French.

>>50606619
ONCE. And that woman may or may have not been chosen by god for some reason

>>50603093
You do know there's a 1 minute moratorium on posting right? It can't be him unless he busted out another device just to shitpost.

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Snaps and Turtlenecks ladies and gentlemen. Efficient and stylish and none of those god awful neckties.

>>50607006
Not pictured: claw marks, streak of civet shit down one side

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I liked the Peacekeeper approach. "Black and red leather for the base and enough rubber and straps to start a fetish club".

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Lads, if you're gong to be a fuckheug naval empire, you should look the part.

the only uniform any TRUE spaceman needs is a grey jumpsuit and whatever you find in the maintenance tunnels

>>50587694
Not really a fair comparison.

They had Hugo Boss designing their shit for them.

>>50601188
They might be shoulderboards, but they clearly have pips on them to show rank. Pips and crowns. Easy as pie to remove and replace when promoted.

>>50607882
No they didn't, the designer was Karl Diebitsch.

Hugo Boss manufactured some of them.

>>50587760
>he thinks drag queens have been around for a hundred years and aren't a millennial faggot cult

l o l

>>50587651
It's a personal head-cannon that the reason Starfleet has SO MANY uniform variations is that it is a regional thing. Each sector, and each ship type, have different uniform styles so that you can immediately identify where a person is posted and who their commanding officer is. One look at their rank and the color coding on their uniform tells you what their most likely job description is. It's literally turning people into living bar-codes so you can easily identify them.

>>50587651
>zipper in back
>everyone needing to tug it down
>no pockets
Star Fleet designers are stupid.

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>>50607720
get back in the jail cell you fuck.

>>50588456
faggotry

>>50588823
>Drag queens and transgender are two different things. I'm kind of a stickler for terminology.

They're both faggots, though

>>50589436

Hey, I'd wear it. It's sad that guys wearing dresses hasn't become as acceptable as women wearing pants.

>>50606903
Pass users are 30 seconds.

>>50606055
More ceremonial then anyrhing else tho

>>50607923
Close enough

>>50608036
Neither of them are necessarily faggots... technically.

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>>50607927
>he thinks men dressing as women is something new

bless

>>50607931
If you compare to the United States military over the past 30 years, there have been an awful lot of uniform changes.

What is stupid is Star Wars with their armor changes. "Hey, we've made a slight improvement in the armor, so we need to recall millions of sets on dozens of worlds and tens of thousands of ship, and get the new ones out pronto."

>>50608185
To be fair they probably just push the specs for the armor out through subspace transmitters and then everyone in Starfleet dumps their obsolete equipment in a replicator and replicates a new up-to-date version.

>>50608185
>>50608287
Wow, that was a fuckup if i ever saw one.

>>50607951
>no pockets

COURAGE

>>50606055
>those shoes
That is literally the goofiest looking uniform in the history of ever.

>>50608325
Yup. I fucked that one up. I think that's enough internet for one night.

>>50604077
>Boucher
Who or what is that?

>>50604585
'Trans' is for the transgenders, 'tranny' is for the transvestites.

>>50608089
It can only be... say... roughly as old as differing clothing conventions between men and women.