M/tg/ Flavor, Lore, and general bullshitting thread

I kinda liked today's story for that cute moment between Chandra and Gideon. Still though
>Gids
pisses me off to now fucking end. Also why are they trying to make EVERY white PW a fucking pacifist now, i actually agreed with Lilliana in that conversation. I HATE Lilliana, being a fucking attention whore and DINDU NUFFIN bitch and all.

>>50579577
What did you expected? the only interesting story ended horribly with the victory of nahiri and the death of avacyn

>>50579615
I just kinda keep hoping that these idiotic writers MIGHT grow a brain one day and improve upon their writing. After all you are supposed to improve with time and after most of BFZ there is literally nowhere else to go but fucking upwards. Either that or just taking a massive shit on your keyboards everyday and posting that instead.

>>50579577
I think the not wanting to kill the consulate members goes back to Gideon not wanting the gatewatch to become magical tyrants like he said. The guys are doing their jobs, and he'll most likely be in favor of Chandra shanking Baral.
As for Gids, yeah, but I nickname a lot of my coworkers because I talk to them regularly enough so I don't have too much of a problem.

>>50579577
Did they retcon Chandra's age? They're writing her like a 15 year old.

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OK so can someone explain how my favorite two titans, ulamog and kozilek died? All I heard was they went up in a massive fireball and disintegrated, and I'm fucking pissed that was wotc's answer to dealing with them.

tl:dr on today's episode

>Be Gideon
>Currently in charge of stopping someone because Necro Whore and Captain Autismo say he's a bad guy
>Really the only bad thing I've seen him do is confiscate a bunch of weapons and kitchen appliances local inventors made
>Okay fine he did try to get Chandra's mom killed but she's in the government-toppling camp
>Whatever, I'll believe their word
>Local coffee is shit
>Firecraker doesn't understand that the government is just trying to control a substance that the stuff between the planes is made of and could literally destroy the whole plane if used improperly
>Necro whore is apparently incapable of telling the difference between self-defense and manslaughter of public officials trying to keep a lid on riots
>Does not understand what keeping a low profile means
>Insults my fashion sense
>Mental note: try to determine if the Bad Guy actually did something other than trying to give her an ethics lesson
>Try to clear my head by going out on a walk
>Finally made a mental map of the designated shitting streets so I can make those walks without stepping into fucking poo
>End up almost becoming a victim of a hit and run
>Thank fuck for indestructible
>At least there's the Furfag who understands what not wrecking shit means
>Local Curry Chick is being smarmy as fuck, takes credit for what is probably Autismo's investigation into where Bad Guy is
>Hippie shows up for no reason with her friend whose pronouns I can't remember and whose place we're crashing in
>Apparently Pronouns is neither male nor female
>I'm too old for this shit anyway
>Necro Bitch insists on going after Bad Guy
>Chandra's mom suggests a diversion
>Okay sounds reasonabl-
>Burn down the main aether pipeline
>...you know what I don't have the energy for this
>I'd go there but I'm going to keep an eye on Necro Bitch
>Furfag, Autismo, Hippie and Pronouns on the diversion
>Firecracker and her mom on getting the riots started
>Oh god I just want this to be over

>>50580054
Please, my sides

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Is Gideon the most reasonable of the group?

>>50580151
I think he's the only one acting like a grown up so far.

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>>50580054
Ah yes, more Gideon's Adventures in Planeswalkerland

I hope you don't stop making these, if you're the same guy who did the previous ones

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>>50580151
He's the most responsible and adult, yes

>>50580039
They lured them to one location, Nissa used a spell to try and make Zendikar one large hedron to seal them in. This had the effect of pulling their entire form into Zendikar proper instead of just part of it.
They started chowing down on all the mana the gatewatch was using to trap them and it became clear the titans would have one that eating contest. So Nissa, having cast bonds of mortality, took her leylines and started running them through Chandra who then surged Fall of the Titans for "yes", targeting Kozilek and the now destructible Ulamog
Simpler version is that the leylines were still connected to the mana the titans were slurping and Chandra used all of that to make them explode.

The cringe is real in this thread

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>"What did he do to you?"

>Gideon's words stopped her, and Liliana turned back, an eyebrow arched into a question.

>"The way you speak. He must have done something to you. Taken something personal from you." Gideon returned her gaze, his face a mask of calm conviction.

>"He was the leader of an interplanar criminal organization that smuggled dangerous goods across worlds. His cruelty and madness is only outstripped by his propensity to manipulate and murder friends and foes alike. He's burned villages just to make a point."

>Gideon shook his head. "That's why you think I would want to stop him. Why do you want to stop him? To kill him?"

>For a moment, Liliana looked genuinely speechless.

Necro whore BTFO

>>50580054
>shitting street joke

Never gets old

Let's start with the good parts. I get Gideon trying not to become a tyrant (a W BBEG would rule lawfully, yes, but what would the laws be?), and I like the classic paladin dilemma of lawful or good. Gideon's being written rather well, and I appreciate that (even if I think Elspeth deserved the mono-W PW slot more than he did). Liliana's not being portrayed poorly either - she's fighting Tezzeret because he took and broke something of hers and she wants revenge, very mono-B motivation. It's even more mono-B that she doesn't care who dies along the way, so long as it isn't her - Consulate guards, renegade forces, all are resources to be sacrificed to her goal.

As for the bad...in the past few Kaladesh/Aether Revolt stories, Nissa has basically been transformed into a moeblob. She's accomplished next to nothing on her own, and has basically become a security blanket for Yahenni and Chandra. This isn't as much the fault of the writers as it is the fault of WotC. For some reason, they chose Nissa, but removed her status as Elf Hitler. Without her "muh superior elves," she's really not got anything to her character but generic mono-G "muh nature," and not even that - she's the PETA version of nature, not the Darwinian "red in tooth and claw" version. Oh, and green is inherently a non-confrontational color so long as you aren't going around burning down forests, so that makes her even worse. Just once, I want to read about her realizing that she has no motivation to stay with the Jacetice League now that Zendikar has been saved and Emrakul rekt, but deciding to stay anyway because mono-G enjoys having a "pack." Give her some motivation, dammit!

are we not going to talk about the fucking doge meme, Wizards' writers just get worse and worse in their attempts at humour

>>50580054
>Be Liliana
>Walking pile of meat and useless regulations is complaining about me killing people
>When he's the one walking around in full armor drawing attention to us
>wonder briefly why none of us ever change our clothes.

>>50580540
It was a cute remark on Liliana's part. It wasn't immersive but it let us know that Keks, dark god of memes, exists in every possible reality.

>>50580485
And then there's Chandra. Poor Chandra. You had a solid personality before Chris L'Etoile shat all over everyone and everything, and now the other writers feel obliged to follow his lead on you. You've been transformed from "impulsive, confident, maybe a few issues from seeing your parents arrested and (you believed) killed because of you" to "15-year-old girl who would probably run like Sonic, if you knew of Sonic, and honestly believes in the "kill it with fire" meme." Actually, check that - just "15-year-old girl," full stop, the rest is redundant. And when a character's personality can be summed up in a single clause - not even a full sentence, a clause - that's a problem. Bring back the Chandra of Purifying Fire, or - more recently, even - Offers to the Fire. Bring back the Chandra who knew how to accept responsibility, despite wanting no part of it. Bring back the Chandra who understood that actions have consequences, even if she didn't care about them. And most importantly, bring back the Chandra that didn't call Gideon fucking Gids, Beefslab, or any shit like that. She's a planeswalker at around 25. She is NOT a 15-year-old on Tumblr.

When will hot elven bikini gals be a thing again?

Question about the Planeswalker spark. Are there any limitations or stipulations with regard to a spark being transfered from one being into another? We've seen Urza give his to Karn and we saw Glissa and Slobad play hot potato for a while but I'm wondering if there is any particular lore there.

>>50580643
it's a fictional magical concept

any limitations exist on it can be broken by three simple words

Wizard did it

How did Chandra go from being the most based of the Gatewatch to being the most obnoxious of them? How did we get here?

>>50580540
Doge meme? What?

>>50580683
She is now the focus therefore the bad writers in creative get to fuck her stupid now.

>>50580687
During EMN, Jace asks Lili what he is to her (as in friend, friend-with-benefits etc.). She compares him to a dog. Insignificant, but you would feel sad if it died.

>>50580687
>"No, the large cat-man doesn't kill." Liliana threw open the wardrobe Yahenni had set aside for the Gatewatch and began rifling through it. "Not anymore," she said, doing an eerily accurate imitation of the Planeswalker. She rolled her eyes. "So righteous. Much mystery."
>She rolled her eyes. "So righteous. Much mystery."

Man i just noticed this too. Fucking dammit.

>>50580729
Oh please she actually has feeling for the retard, she's just too proud and DINDU to admit it. Fucking Christ alive.

Mtg lore is a meme. Please god. Please kill it.

>>50580765
It's called tsundere, and it's cute as fuck.
>"Stupid cloak-boy, it's not like I brought my zombie army out to save you or anything!"

>>50580751
>Man i just noticed this too. Fucking dammit.
It's meta. Lili is breaking the third wall to mock Wizards 2-bit writing team.

>>50580341
>Dat slow decent into niggerdom.
Being Gideon is fucking suffering.

>>50580827
i personally like that they've finally decided on a consistent look for him

previously they had artists drawing him as "greasy, grizzled old man" with no consistency between the facial structures of each piece

now when you see gideon in art, you actually know it's him from his face, not just his armor and sural

>>50580814
>tsundere
>Fucking worthless DINDU NUFFINS.
Yeah no its not fucking cute. You didn't even do the fucking stutter to try and prove your point.

Also if Wizards own writing team is mocking itself then they will NEVER fucking improve. Fucking shit man i mean come the fuck on. Its not fucking cute or funny. Its fucking sad.

>>50580858
>Also if Wizards own writing team is mocking itself then they will NEVER fucking improve. Fucking shit man i mean come the fuck on. Its not fucking cute or funny. Its fucking sad.
<dripping-with-sarcasm>It's meta. Lili is breaking the third wall to mock Wizards 2-bit writing team.</dripping-with-sarcasm>

>>50580621
Never. SJWs infest WOTC now and that is illegal according to their version of Sharia law.

>>50580854
Honestly I'll miss Gideon and his squad of stunt doubles.

>>50580897
>Dripping with Sarcasm
No honestly I'd fucking believe it at this point. Its utterly stupid that they cant even keep characterization consistent between the fucking blocks now. Used to be the "heroes" of our story at LEAST pretended to have consistent characters and motives. Now we have bullshit like Ajani suddenly being a fucking pacifist unless i missed something, Chardra going "LOL XD" at everything and Jace actually making up with/still crushing on a woman that tried to kill him twice. Fucking dammit.

I only play the game and enjoy the pretty artwork but never cared about the lore. Is it true that they try to force diversity and sjw topics and add gays and transsexuals and brown people to the story even if it doesn't make sense? Or is this just a meme exaggerated by bitter nerds?

>>50581158
Both.

>>50581158
In recent years, they've been adding more race/gender diversity for sure, but it's never "not made sense". At least not yet. It's just minor details that add more inclusiveness to the game and don't really detract from anything else.

Can spooky cursed Garruk just show up and kill everyone except Gideon so we can get on with our lives?

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Alright /mtglore/, time for a writing prompt. You are tasked with making a planeswalker that embodies a player type as best as possible, either with a short story or a custom card. Winner is judged by popular vote probably.

>>50581158

It's pretty much canon that gay people in love are immune to Emrakul's influence, so you tell me.

>>50581252
>spooky cursed Garruk shows up
>kills Lilliana
>forcibly takes her place on the gatewatch, but all he does is kill whatever the problem is without waiting for other options
>the rest of the gatewatch doesn't like this but are too scared to speak up against him because of threat of death by murder-hermit with retard demon strength

I approve.

>>50581158

It's mostly exaggerated by bitter nerds. They tossed in a side character with a side story on the website here and there- I recall one story about a random soldier in Khans taking his grandmother's name out of admiration and it amounted to "He was nervous, he proclaimed it, and it was treated like business as usual." Nothing so far that really applies to the core cast.

There is, IIRC, an art direction principle that says to try and include some diversity in the people they draw if possible but it's hardly overintrusive to decide that, say, Mesa Enchantress will be drawn as a black woman.

>>50581158
It depends on what doesn't make sense to you
They've added a lot more non straight/ non white characters recently but it's never really been a big deal.
The most it was brought up irrc is in Alesha's story that she was trans but the Mardu respected her choice because she had confidence and she had killed a motherfucking dragon. Even then it was the tale of her telling an orc to stop being so hard on himself because he went for the assist rather than the kill.
and that orc was named Albert Einstein

>>50581158
Sort of/kind of. There's a tranny and in, but (s)he wins the right to be called she by being a badass during battle, so it's more of a 'fuck yeah brutal meritocracy' then 'f**k yeah, safe spaces for LGBTQ'.

There's also a gay couple as the commander of one of the recent pre-constructed decks. It might just be a group hug joke though.

The one agregious thing that SJW's have gotten away with is censoring the Garruk Wins card of the Garruk vs. Lili combo. Lili Wins shows Zombies about to nom on Garruk.

Garruk wins was going to show Garruk about to punch Lili's face in, but "muh violence against womyn!" wouldn't let it happen.

>>50581255
So are old ladies and moon bunnies.

>>50581254
No flakes, plz. Kthnks

>>50581254
Vorthos (and Melvin) are on a different axis than the three others there.

>>50581310
>about a random soldier in Khans

It was one of the Khans.

>>50581255
Except it's not? The tracker felt herself slipping and had to use her connection to keep herself from doing so and fight back against the madness. She was in no way immune to it, just was able to resist the call.

>>50581317

Actually, it was more condemned for having a sexually suggestive pose or something than it was for showing an act of violence against a woman.

Still think it was absolutely blown out of proportion, mind. If you ask me the greater crime was having a card called "Triumph of Ferocity" have a particularly sterile and undynamic pose and composition.

>>50581369

Shame on me, with thanks for the correction. (I wasn't actively playing then)

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>>50581317
It was also that it looked a bit rapey with the whole spread legs thing

>>50580485
Nobody liked elf hitler either. she has been shit before, is shit now, stop complaining as if before were greater times
>>50581295
>Plenty good B characters for the jacetice league
>Chose liliana
Sorin should have his own Jacetice league with Garruk, Koth, tamiyo and karn,

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>>50581415
>>50581317
The card is right here, what did they censor?

>>50581610
Subsequent reprints used different art.

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>>50581610
Here's the new one

>>50580614
The worst part is that she's not even a thematically appropriate fifteen year old girl.

Before now, we've seen no evidence of Chandra's language of choice being used in the lore. Then suddenly, she's talking like her entire vocabulary was learned from a teen's Twitter feed. Everything she does is random and off-of-the-wall.

>But it's a multiverse with unlimited potential, of course there's bound to be people that talk like that somewhere! You're taking this too seriously.

Until now, no one's acted or behaved the way she does. No one's talked the way she does. It clashes with the established setting and drags me right out of the narrative. At least if other people spoke like that on Kaladesh, Regatha or anywhere else she's been, I could forgive its inconsistency but there's no sign of that. She might as well go full Deadpool and smash the fourth wall.

>>50581989
Do you think it's because the age and/or maturity level of mtg players has plummeted in the last 5 years?

>>50582163
Aren't most of the new players nerdy 20-somethings rather than kids these days?

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>>50581989
>>50580614
I actually like the new Chandra but only because of the Gatewatch as a whole. Everyone's character has become more stylized and exaggerated and while one might argue they've all become caricatures of their former selves, I'm all for stylization. Everyone's traits are contrasting and supplementing one another's making the group more enjoyable.

Yes, the new Charda could not drive the plot for shit but that's okay because she's not the protagonist, the Gatewatch is and if that means having to remove some <<depth>> from characters in exchange for a better group dynamic, I'm all for it.

>>50582470
People like you (and Tumblr) are why we're in this situation. If they can't drive the plot without reducing characters to caricatures, then either it's a shit plot, the characters are shit, or the writers are shit. Pick one. Or, even better, pick none at all and don't get into this situation.

>>50582470
>Liking new chandra
>When the only respectable character is gideon, and not by a lot
>Liking a living meme
>A character who literally is what we are suposed to think "red is not defined by"
>The main red character acting like a retard, to emphasize that red is full of retards
Are you a lesbian teenager or what?

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>>50582531
OR maybe this is not the type of story you're using to reading. Not everything has to be a Drizzt story knockoff to be enjoyable, god knows there's enough of that. You may want to lie down for this; some people actually enjoy a lighter story.
We got enough grimdark, oh-there's-so-much-more-we're-not-telling-you on Innistrad. You'll find you'll enjoy a great deal more things if you try to appreciate them for what they are instead of bashing them for what they aren't.

>>50582633
>Stop liking things I don't like

>>50582290
It's either teenagers, or people with the emotional maturity of teenagers.

>>50582470
>I literally want 2D caricatures
>I'm happy they removed Chandra's maturity
>I'm glad they took away her darker tendencies
>I'm glad we no longer see her self-hate
>I'm glad she's as hyper as an ADHD 15 year old with daddy problems
Fucking. Kys.

>>50581317

The gay couple in the commander deck thing is more following up on a bit of flavor text from Theros, and really if there hadn't been any mention of gayness in a set based on Ancient Greece we would've been making jokes about it anyway.

>>50581255

It seemed to be more of a something to hold onto element. The angels despaired when they felt Avacyn die and so Emrakul's power either killed or took them, but people that hadn't fallen into hysteria and despair on Innistrad during the inquisition and Avacyn's madness remained themselves and fought against the Eldrazi.

Hal and Alesha were nearly mind-woogied but kept each other sane, while some humans went full Shaman King to shield their minds with spirits.

And Rem Motherfucking Karolus was immune to eldrazi influence with no outside assistance because he was too fucking determined to kill monsters to become one. I don't see the point in lovers being able to be each others' rock in one story and a man defeating alien indoctrination with sheer bloody-minded refusal to give up even at the end of the world in another.

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>>50582806
You know your argument's falling apart when you resort to greentext. You could have stated all those like a normal fucking human but that would mean you acknowledge this conversation is happening. Come back when you've realized that being ironic doesn't make you right all along.

>>50582737
We've got a big boy here folks. He's a big boy with emotional maturity. He only likes big boy stuff now because hes big and mature.

>>50582989
Welcome to ad hominem, where the logic is made up and the intent doesn't matter!

Come back when you can explain why destroying the internal consistency of the writing in exchange for Tumblr-tier fanfiction is a good thing, without resorting to "lol maturity is stupid and overdone, and you're too stupid to like immature writing."

>>50582989
>You know your argument's falling apart when you resort to greentext. You could have stated all those like a normal fucking human but that would mean you acknowledge this conversation is happening
Are you for real?

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>>50582989
>We've got a big boy here folks. He's a big boy with emotional maturity. He only likes big boy stuff now because hes big and mature
Pfft

>>50582818
....it's showing how different people are resisting Emrakul's influence in different ways? It's mainly about not losing your identity through overwhelming despair/hopelessness: the hunters used their connection to each other, the order of Saint Traft used ghosts to shield their minds from it, and Rem used his own rage (emrakul killed his bunny).

>>50582806
Did you read the story or are you still just mad about that slice of life ur?

>>50583380
All of the above, fampai

>>50583380
Not that anon, but I read the story AND I'm still mad about Homesick. The recent URs have been much better, but even the newest one has been corrupted by it (Gids and beefslab, again).

>>50583437
Again, Gids is a nickname like Tami, Lili, Chanders, or elf hitler.
And did Liliana use beef slab again?

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>>50583162
You have to realize that somewhere between the characters' conception and today the story has shifted to a more comedy-drama than the removed high-fantasy it once was. You're upset they're writing a lighter story because it's not what you're used to and that somehow messes with the internal consistency of the canon. I say I like this shift in genre and along with it the changes in the characters because it serves the purpose of the story. If you want to tell different stories your characters will inevitably vary, even more so in a multi-author project like Magic Story.

Again, once you realize you're reading a different genre and try to appreciate for what it is instead of what it isn't, you'll find yourself enjoying a lot more things. If not, wait until Amonkhet comes for some sword-and-sandal action. You don't have to call tumblr on everyone who disagrees with you.

>>50583437
what's a UR?

>>50583547
And do they call themselves Tami, Lili, Chanders, or Elf Hitler in story?

>>50583581
If, as you say, they're really deciding to write a lighter story, then the problem is that they're marketing it as the swords-and-sandals action that it has been before now. Also, the core plot itself (a rebellion against Kaladeshi authorities) isn't any lighter to suggest what you're saying, and many of the stories and characterizations HAVEN'T been any lighter (see: Yahenni, Ajani's first story with the Talewatch, etc) to confirm your claims. So either they're lightening parts of the story at random, or they're writing a lighter story now and adding heavier parts at random. Neither makes sense, which is why I'm calling out the writing team.

Also, your claim entails an entire paradigm shift on the part of the lore writers. Mine involves only poor writing.

>>50583666
Uncharted Realms. It's what the lore used to be called, not sure if it is still or not.

>>50583335
Rem Karlous for Lunarch 2016.

>>50583437
Reminder about Chandra's vocab in Homesick:

>Super gross
>Beefslab
>Gids
>hell no
>Come the hell on
>Jerk
>Easy, big fella. Not attacking mom.
>Sowwy
>The hell.
>punchybag
>blah blah blah
>FFFFFFFFF...
>super embarrassing
>super dog noses
>freaking idiot
>SHUT UP SHUT UP.
>WHAT IS COMING OUT OF MY FACE?
>super pi—uh, real angry,
>WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?
>...I think I'm gonna puke.
>made you feel weird
>SorryIblewupyourthingy
>Big Sis

All of these things were either said by Chandra or thought by her when she was the perspective character.

>>50583708
Does he call himself Gids in the story?
Do you get mad when Liliana calls Chandra 'sweetie' or Yaheni calls people 'darling'?

>>50583796
Yes, Chandra is cute as fuck.

>>50583877
We clearly have different perspectives of what's cute then.

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>>50583708
I don't see how they're advertising the story as a heavy epic. Maybe the source of the confusion is that they didn't explicitly come out and say 'hey we're trying a lighter story this time'. The way I see it, wizards handle their story the same way the same way they handle card art; commission a bunch of artists on a central theme while allowing them the freedom to stylize as they see fit.

I think the lighter tone is a directed move and not a communal screw-up of the writing team. So far we've seen less big-picture narration and more characters having moments that other stories. That's not to say one style is better than the other or that they'll stick with this style forever but I like seeing them try new stuff. For me, self-doubt Chandra is a lot more relatable than self-hatred Chandra and Gideon having a coffee pondering the nature of justice only adds to his character.

Why are MTG lore buffs some of the most sensitive people on /tg/? Seriously, you guys are as bad as /co/.

>>50584400
This. I really hate how these threads always quickly degenerate into "muh sjw character pandering, reeeeeeeeee!!"

Fuck that. Let's talk about the actual storyline developing here and how it's going to flow over into Amonkhet.

I really hope we're not steering towards more phyrexians again. They're a good villian but I've been playing since Tempest and am kinda done with phyrexians.

Still, what else would a planeswalker need a planeswalking device for?

KALADESH IS BORING GIVE ME AMONKHET ALREADY

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Bring back Urza

>>50584486
To have his own personal planeswalking ship. He could be plotting to overthrow bolas, and use it to bring weapons and armies with him.

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>>50584639
that filename

>>50584486
I'm with >>50584676 , overthrowing Bolas is the most Tezzeretty thing I can think of. Like some random soldier said in one of the stories, 'first it's vases, then it's gearhulks'. He could drop a mana vault on Bolas to seal him in or bring some hedrons from zendikar or bring the FUCKING MOON FROM INNISTRAD. Looking forward to it.

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>>50580054
>shitting streets
kek

Also
>tfw one of the few half decent characters on Innistrad is barely given any lore because Muh Angels, Muh Eldrazi, and Jace League gay shit.

>>50584877
>Story about Thalia, Odric, Sigarda, Rem Karolus, Gisa/Geralf, those two lesbians, Arlinn Kord fighting against horrors that put the vampires and demons they're used to to shame
>Dealing with what happens when your entire faith is uprooted
>Sigarda dealing with being the last remaining Archangel and losing her sisters

Nope lol here's Liliana throwing some zombies at what looks to be a twenty story tall giant space monster while Jace spazzes out in everyones minds until Emrakul sticks herself in the moon

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>>50580054
You should write the new stories anon.

>>50584833
>transporting the moon from Innistrad
As much of a cool idea this is The Eldrazi have had enough printings for a bit. I personally hope that Bolas just wrecks the Jace league so we can start over with some better non shitter planeswalkers and who knows maybe come up with a original plane rather than revisit other ones.

>>50585022
It would be nice to see some other walkers too but they've spent far too long setting up the gatewatch to kill them off like that. I think they're here to stay for a time but I'm hoping the narration tales a break from them at some point because I really want to see new planes.

>>50580054
I havent laughed this much in the entire day, thanks anon

>>50580614
>She is NOT a 15-year-old on Tumblr.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but that's the target audience. See all that SJW they try to stuff in all the new stories.

>>50580621
>tfw you'll never have a beach episode of the jacetice league

>>50580939
Sides I do not have.

>>50581372
Because she used her lesbian powers, not everyone has those.

>>50583796
Sounds like a fat nerd girl.

WHEN'S GARRUK?

WHEN'S KARN?

WHY DID THEY FUCK UP ON ARLINN KORD SO BADLY?

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>>50581477
>rapey
>he is fully dressed about to punch her in the face
>this is considered rapey by some people

What the fuck. but shit like brain maggot is fine.

>>50586452
The spread legs and panicked look.

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>>50586503
Well the legs are kind of spread because his legs and the look doesn't really look panicked to me. More angry or something.

>>50581007
>tfw ajani went from badass beating nicol bolas with a soul clone to pacifist

What even happened? Next character that gets gutted is probably bolas himself.

>>50586527
Her legs are spread.

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>>50579538
>chandra gets mad and throws fireballs because muh red mage
>gideon can't use contractions to save his life
>WAY too many action tags which interrupt the natural flow of conversation, breaking the reader's spell

And finally,
>gids
>gids
>gids
>gids

CAN YOU JUST FUCKING STOP WITH YOUR AWFUL WRITING YOU SLIMY FUCKS, JESUS CHRIST. GET SOME COMPETENT WRITERS.

How old is Chandra?

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>>50582470
>Also I'm not Maro

alternatively

>Also I'm not Doug

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>>50584400
>>50584486

I, for one, don't care about the niggers and gays, what I do hate however is the crappy way of thinking "AVENGERS = SUCCESS", i.e imitating every superhero team movie/comic.

Instead of doing something unique and fun, they go for the easy path. Don't get me wrong, I love my shlock capekino shit, but (at least for me) is not what planeswalkers should be.

Anyways, it's a trend and they gotta make some money out of it.

>>50587225
>Says it once
>>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Anon, the problem might be you.

>>50583796
Hot

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>>50582470
>>50582684
>>50582989

>>50580341
So what exactly DID Tezzeret take from Liliana? I'm trying to work it out, but I'm coming up short. He didn't take the Consortium, that was Jace when he chose not to keep the memories. He didn't take her job, since while she was chasing after Jace she was still on decent terms with them secretly. And as it turned out Jace took over the Ravnica section of it for a while anyway. It wasn't even a chance to get out of a demon deal, that was Bolas when she couldn't give him the Consortium back. In fact, she was really with Jace against Tezzeret because that was her mission, not out of personal dislike for him.

What did Tezzeret take from her, exactly? Jace himself?

>>50586709

To be fair, Ajani's only a pacifist in the same sense Superman's a pacifist. He doesn't kill, and despite Liliana's excuses with his soul magic he really doesn't need to.

As for why he's got the sanctity of life on his mind, his best friend did get straight-up murdered right in front of him while all he could do was watch and futilely struggle with the agents of death as they took her away. I'd be depressed too.

>>50586709
that was Vengeant Ajani, a mad man with nothing to lose era. he's been pretty noble and virtuous since he earned his fellow leonin's respect on Alara. The no killing rule came out of nowhere though.

>>50587063
To make sure she can't move easily.
That's not rapey for fuck sake. He's about to cave her face in.

>>50580054
>Apparently Pronouns is neither male nor female
>I'm too old for this shit anyway

OH GOD MY SIDES! anon I literally just spit food all over my cpu screen. And it was fuckin worth it.

>>50582531
Most recent block with good story/characters was Khans. Everyone had a character they could relate to, Tumblr with Alesha, 4chan with Narset, etc.

But now we're leaning on themes like crazy. Hopefully Amonkhet works out alright since they should be used to the 2 block paradigm.

>>50591120
>Jace himself?
Got it in one, buddy.

>>50591120
She wants that sweet penis back and she thinks she can win jace back by fighting their old enemy.

I stopped reading at SOI, which new stories are worth reading and which should I ignore?

>>50593502
shits still bad, wait until tezzeret dies and jace and lili fug

>>50593729
I heard that the finale of EMN was good, is that false?

>>50593741
Finale of EMN has a good twist but it's written as atrociously as the rest

The main problem with the story is that the only relatable character from the Gatewatch is Gideon (well I suppose edgy 12 year olds can relate to Jace), with the rest of the main cast is composed of a sociopath, a moeblob and a 15 year old subject of Avril Lavigne's songs

>>50587434
At least 22. Pre-origins retcon she was about 26.

i.e. a fucking adult.

>>50580054
>pronouns
sides are gone. Thanks, I'm using this in the future.

>>50593820
You can empathise with jace when you accept his character is half lobotomized. He wiped all the memories he had of being in love with his waifu because she betrayed him and he couldnt deal with the heartbreak, and thats just one time hes done that to himself.

>>50593994
But the thing is that it's never implied that his lobotomizations cause lasting brain damage. He's characterised as a quick and efficient mindmage who makes no mistakes.

>>50584999
I sent them a portfolio a year ago when they were recruiting but they weren't willing to sponsor a work visa in the USA

>>50594017
His memory snips are exact and clean, but his memory loss is is even represented by his oath. The guy cant handle his own mistakes so he just nixes them from his memory to keep his own confidence and focus up. They dont cause damage but to a blue mage a loss of knowledge can be fatal, and people need memories to function or else you end up with jace in soi or dory from finding nemo.

>>50593074
>>50593229
So more tsundere for her cloak boy then. Got it.

>>50580008
Her mana alignment is red so flavor wise it makes sense that her emotions are erratic.

>>50594118
To be fair its a fairly underused trope for western media and the magic team at wotc seems weeb as fuck. I mean look at kamigawa and tamiyo. Hell jace in universe is a weeb and he can read kamigawan.

>>50593913
>>50593820
>oh no guys, the red mage has stakes in this fight and isn't thinking everything through fully. What shit writing.

>>50594657
This isn't about red mage being angry and emotional, this is about the red mage bitching furiously like a twitter whore every time someone says "let's take ten minutes to come up with a plan" instead of just going there and winging it

>>50594686
Can I get a passage showing this?

>>50591837
See >>50591166

>>50594141
Not necessarily, you can be passionate and/or emotional and not inmature.

>>50594657
g8 b8 m8 8/8

>>50594991
Not that anon but its on almost every Kaladesh story featuring Chandra so far.

Also I like how they're downplaying Jace. I was super tired of him since, fuck since he became posterboy. At least he's just there now as a secondary character.
>wait until the Tezzeret fight
FUCK!!

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http://markrosewater.tumblr.com/post/154165402523/hi-there-would-you-consider-breaking-up

Fucking normie reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

When did Elspeth meet tamiyo? Didn't she go from Bant to urborg to new phyrexia to Theros to kill?

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>>50584833

>>50597131
>20000%_mad.png

>>50597131
.... I'd find this acceptable.

There's no judge thread so maybe you cast help me:

I play furnace scamp, opponent lets it hit, scamp gets sacc'd, but interrupted by my collateral damage.

Only 3 damage goes through, correct? It's either the scamp or the collateral damage, not both? Or am I wrong?

>>50602499
Correct. You can't sacrifice the same thing to two different effects.

>>50602529
I fucking knew it. Do people actually willingly spread this disinfo? This is the 3rd person I've played who insisted that "a sac is a sac, it 'goes everywhere'."

>>50597131
Look im going to kill a jew and get called a nazi in,2017

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>>50597131
why would they even

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>>50597131

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SO WHAT ADVENTURES AWAITS TO OUR BEST FRIENDS OF THE GATEWATCH IN THE MYSTERIOUS PLANE OF ATLAZAN!?

>>50580212
>surged Fall of the Titans for "yes"
I like you.

>>50606090
snake pucci

>>50581477
>>50586452
>>50586503
It wasn't rapey but domestic abusey. Someone complained that it looked like when their daddy punched out their mommy or something like that.

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>>50606171
I'm okay with this.

>>50606248
That's so stupid it's hilarious.

>>50606090
AWAKEN, MY MASTERS

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>>50606090

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>>50611918

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>>50607613
>tfw you'll never have sexy gorgons -or sexy anything- since they went full tumblr

I kinda like Chandra calling Gideon "Gids". Not so fond of "Beefslab" because it sounds too real world, but "Gids" works.

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>>50613190

>>50613345
>lighthearted character has affectionate nickname for temmate she likes
What, do you want her to call him "Ser Gideon of Theros" everytime she sees him?

>>50613190
I like Beefslab because of Space Mutiny
>>50606171
>A snake priest resurrects an ancient god
>In return, he is given the power of FAST

>>50580054
You're doing the lord's work, anon

Theres weatherlight maros fapfiction level of not quite good and there is this level of shit. I feel insulted and memed on. Literally triggered

So im kinda new to magic and everybody says there was a retcon a while back that ruined all of the characters. So how did they all change? I know that Nissa used to be Litterally Hitler or something like that but what about the others?

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>"So righteous. Much mystery."
I liked the story but for fucks sake

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>>50612947
If they change the Boros Symbol because it's a white fist I am driving to Washington to kick Maro in the dick.

>>50617645
What if they changed it to a red fist with a white aura?
What if they changed the Izzet symbol to a dragon dildo?

>>50613836
He watches bbt so it angers and confuses him whenever people aren't referred to by name.

>>50617266
It helps with Lili being a condescending bitch.

so will gideon be able to convert chandra from jund to boros? Bitch is crazy and you know what they say about crazy.

>>50619158
Maybe they'll have some hot Saskia action.

>>50582470
I agree with you.

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>>50584639
>filename

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>>50612947
Oh, come the fuck on. We both know that's not true.
Besides, Magic's main demographic is teenage boys, and Hasbro knows that.

>>50620140
Her curves must have been phenomenal

>>50620140
>beautiful Nordic blonde
>defaced with spiky metal shit
You could have picked a better example, except you couldn't have because there aren't any. There hasn't been a single sexualised female character art this year and that's bullshit.

>>50620416
She still has beautiful giant sweater puppies, theyre just robo puppies now

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>>50620416
>implying chandra isn't hot as hell
You know, if you need big exposed tits to jerk it to just buy an old fire elemental

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>>50620558
Also Nahiri has a great rack

>>50620140
>>50620558
>>50620615
They sure have great racks and curves but COVERED nonetheless, where are my sideboobs? Cleavages? Big thights? Boob windows?

I want equality, girls have Victor, i want a sexy barbarian also.

>>50620615
>>50620558
attractive=/=sexy

>>50620558
If she acted the age that pic portrayed her as, yes she would be.

She's hot af.

>>50620558
>mind of a 7 year old
mi gusta

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>>50620851

>>50620416

Liliana's tits being one false move away from falling out of that dress isn't sexualized?

I've complained about it before, but they stopped showing bare skin on the thighs of Liliana and Chandra. It's slight, but it is still a slight step away from their focus.

>>50623533
If you're talking about LotV, that was almost 5 years ago

So I like reading the flavor text of cards and I was wondering if any of the story articles are actually good?

>>50624610
there might be one or two good ones, but overall they are very low quality. Magic story is only good if you are lightly invested.

>>50624610
imo the ones from yahenni's perspective are the only good ones in a while. yeah i know sjw genderspecial blah blah but the way they're written the aetherborn are way more interesting than anything the blfahkahafk-watch has done. if you want to explore actually good lore though you pretty much need to read the Brothers' War novel and go from there.

how much money dose someone wanna bet there's going to be a 6BB draw 3 with ingenuity, or whatever that artifact convoke is

>>50624610
Ob Nixilis stories were fun, also Feldon.

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>>50623151
Same set as Victor

>>50581317
>There's also a gay couple as the commander of one of the recent pre-constructed decks.
Nigga I KNOW you ain't chatting shit about Gaius and Aulus

>>50620140
"Breja" (pronounced the same way Breya is pronounced by English-speaking people), in Slovene, is an adjective describing a pregnant female animal

She literally is "breja"

With two thopters

Who wants to bet that Pia dies and Chandra has a minor breakdown and becomes more mature?

Here's my guess; Tezzeret kills Pia, goes hiding, Lili and Jace fight him and lose, Chandras saves the day much like Nissa with Ob.

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is it still worth getting into this game as a complete newbie?

why should I, a paying customer with disposable income, choose a physical card game over something more convenient, like Hearthstone? where do you even play Magic, with what frequency?

not trolling, genuinely curious.

>>50628355
Wizards has stores host weekly tournaments in various formats. The atmosphere at these tournaments is generally very friendly and there is no room for rules-lawyering (something that does not hold true for the more competitive tournaments in Magic's competitive play).

For me, the main perks a physical card game has over a digital one are socialization, forming bonds of friendship with other players and a strong sense of community that regular play in a store brings.

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>>50620558

>basketball tits

>>50628355
Cause nothing beats hanging out with friends, drinking beer, smoking weed, shooting the shit, and playing card games. It's basically poker, but with elves and dragons. Shit you got multiple formats to play, like 60 casual, edh, pauper and even shitty homebrew formats, like "only 1 cmc cards allowed", or "every creature must have a hat, or especially fancy pants"

>>50629332
Drinking and smoking while playing mtg is dank af

>>50628355
Worth it if you want a deep, challenging game with plenty of room for creativity and/or you enjoy the social aspect as people have said.

>>50630242
Word homie. Nothing is better then getting blazed, and playing some shitty tribal and flavour decks with your stoned friends. gonna fag out for a bit and tell about a game I remember.

>4 player game
> I'm playing myr, K is playing goblins, J is wizards and R is dragons or some Timmy shit
>K is building up an army of gobbos, I'm manufacturing my myr combo, R is doing something, and J plays Tim
>J sees K's army and pings him with Tim
>Mental image of a wizard climbing over a hill and seeing a goblin encampent and slinging a single spell into their midst
>K says fuck you and kills him in one hit with his rampaging horde
>Can't remember who won, but still gives me a kek when I think of it

>>50630699
>the wizard has a growing look of horror as the goblins run up the hill

>>50597131
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PLEASE NO

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Why does Wizards do this?

>difficult to aggro down and disrupts attackers, usually requiring multiple cards and/or turns to bring down, then wins the game 2 turns later if unchecked

>>50633752
k

>>50633752
Meh, kind of shit to me. Ult would of been a lot better on someone else.

>>50635471
Hello, Chandere

>>50625172
>Brother's War
The story of how the Mary Sue nerd genius was cuckolded by his own brother and declared war in spite.

>>50635953
Urza was more cancerous than the whole of the gatewatch.

>>50637085
How exactly? Not an urza/weatherlight fanboy, just enjoyed the book.

>>50637510
They shoehorned him into the weatherlight saga because originally it wasn't going to involve him
and then the retarded ass part where he decided to join the evil monsters he had spent thousands of years fighting.

>>50635471
Nahiri sees play in modern, and was the engine for one of the most popular decks for a couple of months. You are objectively wrong that it's a bad card. And considering the story of Revenge Of the Scars of the Return to the Shadows over the Eldritch Moon, her ult is even in flavour bringing out Emrakul

>>50584999
I don't see why Arlinn is RG
Maybe GW. R when she turns into a wolf I guess.
muh werewolves gotta be RG
I wish she had like 5 starting loyalty, she'd be good then. or was just 3 cmc

>>50587754
She also calls Ajani 'the cat'
>""If you think we're weird, wait 'til you see the giant cat," Chandra says."
He is a cat man that's stronger than Gideon but he's much more person than cat.
we have no real feats to compare Gideon's strength to Ajani's. Just that Ajani looks like he has more muscle but magic or something could make Gideon stronger

>>50630699
dude weed lmao

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>>50620558
>Chandra
would be hot but she acts like your average tumblfag
>>50620615
>Nahiri
Hot but she's a little crazy from spending something like 1300 years in the helvault. Don't stick your dick in crazy.
>>50626855
>LotV
Hot but gonna kill me, hot.
>Defiant Necromancer
acceptable
>Last Hope
tits aren't absurd, 9/10

>Nissa
Is actually hot except she's your typical hippie but 'muh ashaya'. If she was not so in love with nature and more like Kaladesh elves she'd be 10/10

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>>50640670
I used to like LOTV art until I saw it without the Dutch angle once and realised how fucking ridiculous the pose is and how Argyle has no grasp on human anatomy

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>>50641794
This is my favourite Liliana, by the way

Beautifully stylised art that radiates both evil and sexy

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>>50585694
Why even planeswalk?

>>50620140
She can shape my Etherium anytime.

Most PW art are fuckign shit.
Dumb poses, wrong anatomy, characters with a stick in the ass, dumb retraced faces that contrast with the rest of the art...
They really need to treat them as normal cards.

>>50640604
Are you sure she just didn't say it that way as a sort of joke?

>>50640604
Didn't Gideon hold back Ulamog all by himself at the battle of Sea Gate at one point?

In fact I just checked the MTGS wiki and it says this:
>In a combined assault, Gideon and Kiora's armies attacked the titan. Gideon then single-handedly wrestled with Ulamog, buying time for Nissa to unearth a massive number of hedrons buried around Sea Gate.

In the story there was a line akin to "unstoppable force versus immovable object."

So I'd say Gideon is mighty strong.

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>>50641869
My main problem with PW art is that it's no longer stylised but always done in the same heroic, photorealistic style

I'm not asking for dumb shit like MOBA key art, I'm looking for more cards like >>50641805

I wish they had Seb McKinnon do a planeswalker once

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>>50580281
>Look mom!
>Even on an Indonesian moving watercolor inspired message board for table top games, my battered woman-tier self-esteem requires me to announce that I'm monitoring the thread but I also would like everyone to know that I feel socially, and possibly even sexually, elevated above everyone else!

>>50642276
I like that freaky Setite shit

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>>50642411
The shit McKinnon did in Tarkir block is amazing

>>50642097
>Are you sure she just didn't say it that way as a sort of joke?
No. If it was a joke, it was a terrible 15-year-old girl on tumblr joke.

See also >>50583796

Unfortunately, someone who is mono-red would act like Chandra. The joke of people telling Chandra to not light things on fire was old after the first time.

>>50642264
Possibly. I'm not going to say Gideon or Ajani is stronger. In feats like that Gideon is going to win because he's indestructible. I'm sure there are other feats where Ajani would win that could also be strength.

>>50642691
I imagine that Ajani's capable of higher strength than Gideon, but Gideon has unending endurance (as long as you don't push his face in a puddle).

Ajani could probably deadlift more than Gideon, but what Gideon can deadlift, he can hold until the end of time.

>>50643150
Is Gideon also immune against being burned or just against blunt force?

>>50643261
He's supposedly immune to all forms of surface damage, which I assume would include being burned

>>50643150
That sounds about right, which is how Gideon held back Ulamog.

Ajani likely has more raw strength. not that Gideon is weak by comparison to someone else, like Jace

What even are Ajani's gloves that Grandma made him?

>>50643261
He can't be hurt if he knows it's coming. If you surprise him and put his face in a little puddle, he needs like 50 Jaces to save him.

>>50644366
The face in the puddle wasn't surprise, I think, it was more of an invulnerability shield not preventing him from choking to death on water

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>>50642276
I'd like a Wayne Reynolds one

>>50644366
Ajani's gloves are paw-operated prosthetic hands designed to make him blend in a bit better as a large, hooded stranger.

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>>50624789

The old 'Savor the Flavor' ones by Matt Cavotta are gold. Then again, he had an enthusiasm I don't feel from the current crowd of writers.

I really, really hope that Gideon and Ajani will become good friends and be bros.

>>50581158
There is definitely a push for diversity, but to what extent it is "ruining the game" is definitely just bitter nerds blowing everything out of proportion.

>>50646186
They're both buff white guys. Ajani is GW now but it's not like Gideon doesn't get along with Nissa. If Ajani keeps in contact with the gatewatch, even if he doesn't join, it seems like he and Gideon will be good friends. Gideon wants to help everyone and do what's right. Ajani is in a weird spot but he doesn't kill anymore.

>>50646663
thank god diversity hasn't interrupted gameplay yet

>>50648043
>Thank god diversity hasn't interrupted gameplay yet

"I tap my warrior of the x chromosome to get a feminism counter, and then I cast blades of the matriarchy to kill your garruk wildspeaker"