The most fucking scariest quotes that DM may say

File: bugs_bunny_just_saw_the_ring_by_genkitron.jpg (63KB, 380x247px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 380x247px

>>50514676
>Let's try 4th edition for a change!

>>50514676

>How near to the wall are you?

>Did you close that door after leaving the room?

YOU ARE LYING!YOU MUST BE LYING! VIRT CANNOT, MUST NOT BE UNBANNED!

>>50515135
You called, faggot?

>>50514676
>Huh, interesting *notes shuffling*

>>50514676
>Who was the first in line?
>Everyone, make a perception check.
>Something wakes you up.
>The NPC hears that thing you just said (even if you said it OOC)

>>50514676
>Are you sure?

File: IMG_6442.jpg (194KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

194KB, 960x960px

>>50514676
>Were you wearing a glove when you picked up the crown or did your skin touch it?

>*disbelieving laugh* hooo, ok.

>>50514676
>Okay, come with me to the other room, please.

>>50514676

>I thought you'd say that.

>>50514676
>Out of curiosity, what's your will save like?
>Anyone got sound effects on their phone? Can you look up "T-Rex Roar?"
>How much HP do you have? Base?
>Hey anon, your character defect is Rage, right? Give me a roll
>After any given action the DM rolls several dice, marks them down and then says nothing

>>50514676
>Do you make eye-contact?
>Hey guys, I've been reading the Book of Vile Darkness, I have some campaign ideas!
>Ever hear of a Demi-Lich?
>Since this is a difficult campaign, I decided to give you some NPC party members. Why yes, they ARE Kenders.

>>50515771
>that last one
I straight up quit a game over that.
He was not joking.
I regret nothing.
Nobody else in the group new what kenders were, everyone left the group shortly after and nobody in the store apparently (moved since then) wants him to DM anymore since it went that badly.

>Did you remember to look up?

>>50515178
Suck-fuck-cuck niggery

>>50515408
Oh god no no, that's the worst.

>>50515852
You have to know at least a little of what occurred after.

Do you really want to do that?

>PC does something innocuous
>From his armchair throne, the DM sits up
>His back goes ramrod straight, his eye begins to twitch
>His lips pull back into a horrible, twisted grin
>He begins sweating profusely, grabbing his papers from behind his screen and giggling like a child
>He leans forwards, his eyes bulging, and with a falsely calm voice, he asks
>"Are you sure you want to do that?"
>You hear a thump as his horrible erection hits the underside of the table

File: 1474145335110.gif (3MB, 470x400px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 470x400px

>How many Corruption points is your character on again?

>>50514676
>Wait, what did you hold in your right hand?

>How much are you carrying right now?

>How did you open the door?

>How much fuel did you load on this thing?

>>50515408
this.

>>50515135
He's just banned from the trip he posts all the time.

File: tg - why play 4e differently than 3e_1.jpg (126KB, 1213x255px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 1213x255px

>>50514756
>Let's shitpost on /tg/!

>What's your [stat] again?
>*Rolls* Okay, never mind.
Even more terrifying when taken together.

>>50514676
>Implying the deadliest thing the DM can say is absolutely nothing at all.
I scare the fuck out of my players much more efficiently when I STOP talking much more than when I don't.

>>50520527
Yeah, that can just screw people up.
You ever hear about that one DM who designed a super hard dungeon that had one empty room where the party would be able to rest and regroup at, but the party was so paranoid from all the prior rooms that they took ages checking the thing for traps?

>Roll. You don't see anything.

>>50514676
>*inhales sharply*
>*begins stroking chin pensively*
>Lets take a quick break while I get something together.

>>50514676
>Are you sure about that?

>>50519262
The thrill of being the GM in this situation is matched by the terror of being a player. Perhaps it is worse when you aren't the player in question and are merely an onlooker, about to be reamed with everyone.

File: fear.jpg (239KB, 800x450px) Image search: [Google]

239KB, 800x450px

>>50515402

>Are you lighting this room with an open or closed flame?

>>50514676
>Hold on, I gotta look something up.

The buildup to a thing that you don't know about and even the DM seems hesitant to throw at you.

>roll to see/hear anything [fail]
>roll for concealment [fail]

>GM gets the most regretful "I was starting to like your characters" look
>just goes into the beast's attack without introducing the monster at all

File: 1438892352313.gif (2MB, 659x609px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 659x609px

>>50519262
>MFW

>Playing Werewolf The Abrocalypse
>PC horny as fuark after a battle against a Pentex First Team
>Seduce tiddy monster bimbo
>Take her to the restroom
>Bone her hard
>GM: "You feel something crawling into your urethra"

I think the best one I've ever done as a DM

>Group was in combat with goblins and human mercs
>The Paladin walks around a corner and ends his turn
>His player turns away from the board to talk to someone else
>Mooks turn starts and I pull up the hobgoblin warrion mini a good head higher than his already big paladin mini and place it behind him
>Everyone else at the table starts going "Ooooooooh"
>Paladin's player turns around and actually jumps seeing the hobgoblin

Its not super impressive but very entertaining if you were there.

"Alllriiight... At this point... "

>>50514676
>Hey did any of you read that contract?

The contract they'd just signed was from an Elder Vampire, wasn't even anything suspicious or malicious on it, just the stuff they'd already agreed to do.

I exploit the fuck out of common GM "fear phrases" to scare my players into paying more attention.

>>50517027
Says the double nigger.

File: PcJ5YLw.jpg (907KB, 1200x808px) Image search: [Google]

907KB, 1200x808px

>>50514676
As you sail through the water, you notice through the corner of your something dark moving beneath the waves.

>>50526713
>You're in the Crows Nest right?
>The ocean's current begins flowing in your direction about a mile out
>From all directions

>does your character have danger sense?

>Roll for anal circumference.

>Your character wasn't carrying any noble metal on them were they?

>>50524622
FUCK NO

>>50526759
I would legitimately ask my DM what the fuck they were doing and how I am honestly expected to know that off the top of my head.

>>50524622
>>50526761

Speaking of, so GMs ever use stuff like stealth parasites on players? "You feel a tingle every so often." Like urethra worms.

>>50526783
You don't know how are you expected to know off the top of your head if your character carries gold, silver or platinum?

I can understand the other five but come on, man.

>>50526895
>Actually carrying the majority of your wealth on your physical person
That's a great way to get shanked in an alleyway. Any non-D&D system would have that painting a target on your back.

>>50527251
It's not about if you carry or not. It's about knowing if you carry or not.

>>50527284
True.

>>50514676
>Are you SURE there's nothing else you want to do before you leave the room?

>>50514676
>"What's your marching order?"

>>50514676
>no, it's not a prop. it's a real gun. this is the last time you derail a campaign with your shitty fetish character. stand the fuck down, the door is locked anyway.

File: 1475291620606.jpg (78KB, 600x626px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 600x626px

>>50519262

File: 1296504816086.jpg (7KB, 252x240px)

7KB, 252x240px

>>50519262