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I'll go first.
>be chaotic neutral drow skeleton barbarian
>randomly meet lawful neutral wizardbro
>go into city and find bar
>kick door in, somersault to nearest barstool
>"Barkeep give me a glass of your finest milk"
>poor milk on head
>"Mm calcium"
>Wizardbro is mending door
>ask barkeep for info on where to find big bones
>"well are you gonna pay for that milk"
>lolno
>notice three mercenaries/bouncers getting up
>roll to intimidate entire bar
>wizardbro quietly slips into dark corner and casts peacebond on nearest merc
>19+7 for intimidate, barkeep visibly shaking, everyone else but mercs in pure panic mode
>two mercs preoccupied with calming customers, third one tries to draw weapon but can't
>barkeep tells me "go to troll hill for big bones"
>oh and one more thing barkeep... another glass of milk for the road
>get my milk
>kick door apart again on the way out
>zero fucks given ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Pic related, it's a general idea of what my skelly looks like, sans the hat. Also he's 6'4". Pic title is my in-game name, but some call me Mister Bones.
>>
>Playing a tiefling closet supremacist
>Being the "only talks when its clever" trope
>At tavern wasting time; party is having fun
>I want to too but my character wouldn't do anything so I didn't participate
>DM throws me a bone
>Two tiefling girls are gambling
>I ask them if I can sin too
>They make up a game where they both roll a die and then I have to beat their combined score with only one die
>lost around 20 gold doing this but didn't lose every time
>last roll I gambled ALL of my money (260gp)
>"Keep your money, if I win you lay with me tonight"
>A charisma roll got them to agree
>they rolled a combined 19
>I rolled a 19
>prestidigitation
>I rolled a 20
:^)
>>
>>50492445
you sound like a person that would be horrible to actually game with, but great to hear stories from those games.
>>
This thread is fucking awful.
>>
>>50492612
>Be OP
>Be a bored unimaginative faggot.
>Decide that it is time for shitposting.
>Create a greentext thread on tg with things that never happened and would have been weak even if they did.
>>
>>50492598
OOC everyone I've ever played with loves my RP, but for in-game purposes, yeah, I'm a troublemaker and do a lot of stupid shit.
>walk out of bar with wizardbro
>surrounded by at least 20 armed guards and not one but TWO paladins
>as an undead I have an evil aura (still chaotic neutral though lol)
>Paladins want to smite me
>wizardbro is mending door again
>what's all the commotion officers I am just a peaceful skeleton on a search for good bones
>paladin points at wizardbro "are you the one responsible for creating this abomination"
>he's like nah
>I attempt to reason with them, explain that if they let me leave they'll never see or hear from me again
>I just want those troll bones mang
>delayed reaction from me about five minutes into this debacle, look around surprised
>wait what abomination were you talking about
>"YOU you vile creature"
>after much talking and some persuasion from wizardbro they begrudgingly let us leave
>gates slam shut behind us
>so what we do wizman
>"let's circle around to a different gate and go back in, I need a job dude"
>k
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