How anti-climatic would it be if it was made cannon that, the

>>50468797
It would actually be a much needed fun poke at the grimdark seriousness of the setting

File: 1372618677168.jpg (47KB, 571x460px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 571x460px

>>50468797
>anti-climatic

>>50468797
my head canon now

>>50468797

A little more boring, but one of them dying by simply landing on a wrong planet and being killed by something, while another not surviving some kind o war they started (almost every primarch started some war on his homeworld) would be really into the general atmosphere of 40k grimderpness.

>>50471641

I would still like it if one of them publicly proved Emps wrong about something, who had them and their entire legion deleted from history in an autistic shitfit.

Preferably something inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, one step up from correcting his spelling or something.

>>50468797
>Primarch was fighting
>Ceiling fell on him
>NOO I MUST FIGHT THE ENEMY
>No Primarch, you are the enemy

>>50471682
> "Father, you don't understand! Pineapples on pizza are shit! Shit!"

I like to think that one of the lost Primarchs was someone named Bill Johnson who did amazingly through school and made a career out of taking over the world of business finance, and was never noticed outside his homeworld.

This is seriously one of the better explanations for lost primarchs I have heard here.

>>50468797
>the two missing Primarchs really did exist
they did exist, until the space yiffs pacified them. the remains of the legion joined the ultramarines.

>>50468865
This. 40k was best when it was ridiculous.

Give me back my living DoomRider and Noise Marine Guitar Fluff.

File: a4b[1].jpg (110KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 680x680px

>>50474457
pic related

>>50474457
Well, someone got rightfully purged

>>50475438
>>50474457
fuck off peter

>>50474457
That's just objectively wrong though

File: IMG_0327.png (624KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]

624KB, 750x1334px

Oh shit nigger

>>50474859
So he's like that regular old guy who became a wise sage amongst the drow because of common sense?

>>50475456
>Defending pineappple in pizza.
There needs to be a court in The Hague for sick fucks like you.

File: 1473733214946.gif (614KB, 512x288px) Image search: [Google]

614KB, 512x288px

>>50475456
Mate, Pineapple pizza is an abomination.
The only rightful and prime pizza is the ham and cheese one.
Simple, pure, effective.

>>50479041
>Ham and Cheese.

Eat a fucking sandwich then you peasant

>>50479099
I eat my ham and cheese sandwiches without butter you pompous twat. Plebeian and proud!
I just feel like it hides the taste

>>50478951
The great sage, Barry.

>>50475456
Pineapple Pizza is indefensible.

File: 1477014651996.jpg (27KB, 268x268px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 268x268px

Pineapple can work very well on saltier pizzas, like bbq-glazed beef and pepperoni. It's a sometimes topping though, not an everyday choice.

>>50479131
>The real message Magnus sent that got the TS ruined.

File: image.jpg (671KB, 1900x1425px) Image search: [Google]

671KB, 1900x1425px

>>50474457
>the Chicagoan Heresy

What kind of pleb puts pineapple on his pizza? Why is it even called pineapple? It's not a pine nor an apple.

>>50479196
>the deep dish massacre

>>50479613
>American "cuisine"
I went to a pizzeria with an Italian bro during a trip in the US. He completely freaked out and wanted to call the chef because the pizzas were so shit compared to what he's used to eating. Fun times. Italian pride is definitely something.

>>50475456
>>50475497
Barbarians spotted.

>>50479041
I think you mispelled Margherita.

>>50479196
I will gut whoever invented that like a fish.

My head canon is that one of them simply refused to serve. He was excited to meet his father, got the grand tour, was introduced to his legion, but was so horrified by E's plans that he went back to his home world and refused to
budge. E couldn't have a son that wasn't with the program, so exterminatus'd the place and struck the guy from history.

>>50479041
No offense, but something tells me anon, that you never have sex in any way other than missionary.

>>50480022
Hey, sometimes we hold hands too!

>>50480058
... y-you deviant!

File: 68FB56BB-1AB0-482E-B11F-C10A838A1AD4-1091-0000037AE8D4F3B2_tmp.png (155KB, 266x373px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 266x373px

Confirmed for lost primarch?

>>50471682
Maybe he contradicted the emperor's rejection of religion and/or xeno acceptance, or was a pacifist.

More likely and more sad would be if they were raised on a xeno-accepting planet and didn't want to betray their alien followers.

>>50479196
Papa el'Jonson, on his flagship The Pineapple Express.

>>50476124
what this is

>>50480019
What if that Primarch refused to join Emps, because he could not leave his world for other reason? Like him beeing the only thing to stop it from beeing fucked over? Imagine a non-fucked-in-the-head version of Konrad Curze the night haunter. He gave an oath to protect that world forever for it's inhabitants saved his life when he crashed on the planet.

Primarch's homeworld has has a warp rift on it, Emperor foresees that Primarch will slowly get fully corrupted by chaos influence. With a heartache, Emperor orders an exterminatus.

>>50480113
So basically Superman but gets killed by General Zod.

>>50480147
Actually, it follows this anon's ideas:
>>50480113
He's a pacifist and religious leader. Think Buddha, but a living weapon. His planet has a webway gate and frequently hosts harlequins as guests. When the exterminatus happens, he leads some of his people into the webway and finds a maiden world to resettle.

Also he is a blank, with a null field that occludes an entire solar system and causes none of the negative side effects in normals that normal blanks do.

Also his name is Sensei cuz winking at Star Child.

Also I am very good at making sues. But that's unrelated.

>>50480432
Actually blank patriarch sounds cool as fuck. Why make him immune to blank effects? People he gave an oath to protect hate him, but follow his leadership because he is a fucking primarch after all.

You theory of him beeing bros with eldar goes against lore though, psychers get fucked over when a blank is nearby, now imagine a blank that can cover an entire system in a null field.

>>50478994
>>50479041
>>50479131
>>50479940
In Queensland we'll put banana on pizzas with prawns. Sydneysiders will put egg on it. It's a good time.

>>50481399
That sounds atrocious. I must try it.

>>50468797

I like to think something along the lines of event horizon happened to one of them and he ended up melded with and becoming his warship. So then there's a very angry, very confused, agonized world-killer floating around in the dark between stars, waiting.

>>50481399

For a second I wanted to send a screencap of this heresy to my Italian friend (Italian as in from Italy not Italian from NYC) but then decided not to, he's kinda cool after all, why kill the poor fucker.

>>50468797
i like the idea but that example is terrible

that wont kill a primarch

>>50480997
The idea behind the side-effect less null powers was to have him be a peaceful counterpoint to Big E, embodying all the 'right' ideals of peace and serenity, granting the feeling of peace to those around him, and thus showing that it actually could work as an alternative to the Great Crusade and Imperium. Which would make it sting all the more that E destroys it all in favour of conquest, war, and domination.

As an alternate take, I like the idea of a blank so disturbing that it fucks with E's powers, and must be destroyed for the good of everything, let alone everyone. Make the primarch fully aware of the horror his existence inflicts on others, understanding that his death would be for the best, but made vows of protection to his home world and can't honorably discharge them. He stands on the surface watching the virus bombs drop, surrounded by the corpses of his suicidal retinue, and whispers through his tears a thank you to his gene sire.

>>50480113
>Maybe he contradicted the emperor's rejection of religion and/or xeno acceptance, or was a pacifist.


I think better still might be he rejected Emps views on human supremacy, and could articulate why. Point out that humans need something to hate, and that even if he succeeds in his Grand Crusade, he's going to have to reconquer the galaxy every millenia or so, because these fucks will never stop fighting each other over stupid shit.

>>50481399
Are Aussies even human

>>50471682

The thing is, even the Chaos Primarchs agree that it was a good kill. Hell, even LORGAR goes "Okay, I guess they had to be killed."

>>50482333
as an italian i can confirm, this killed me.

>>50475431
Noise marine guitar fluff is right now though. It's literally there in Fulgrim (the HH novel).

>>50479613
IIRC, it was because "apple" was used as a generic name for fruits in that time's dialect and the thing kinda looks like a pinecone if you squint enough.

>>50482853
Rip

>>50471641
I believe that was the intent behind them. Since I doubt they were as shit at their jobs as angron, it's more likely they failed in conquest, alongside their legions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Teutoburg_Forest

I like the thought of a primarch ending up on an alien homeworld and going native.

Also didn't emps have interest in the webway? Mayby he had webway explorer marines that he wanted to keep secret

>>50474457
Pineapples on pizza are objectively shit though, Emps was in the wrong here

File: download (1).jpg (10KB, 239x211px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 239x211px

> Pic related was literally killed by cutlery

>>50485130
have to show-off that immortality