Wizard TV news

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Barbarians spend their lives in remote places, alone and self-sufficient. They enjoy searching for game to hunt and eat, and sometimes raping women, if they can find any that haven't been raped yet. They also take pride in their ability to rip people apart through the force of their arms.

Wizards spend their lives in remote towers, alone and self-sufficient. They enjoy searching for magical tomes to study and master, and sometimes raping the laws of physics, if they can find any that haven't been raped yet. They also take pride in their ability to rip people apart through the force of their minds.

We are not so different, you and I.

>>50464174
A murderhobo is a murderhobo no matter how you dress him up.
The difference between a barbarian and a wizard is that a barbarian murderhobo is fulfilling his potential while a wizard murderhobo utterly wasted his.

>>50464174
You guys can't read or write or build anything more complex than a barn.

>>50464122

Barbarian Wizard here. We aren't dumb, we just value being able to kill a man with our thumbs more highly than the ability to read or construct buildings.

>>50467484

And you can't punch a man's skull thru his face, but that's okay because together we can Hold Person him and I can punch every organ thru his body at our leisure.

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>>50464122
Being bookish, often of wealthy stock and living in ivory towers -being more concerned with theory than with fact- I imagine wizards would have the weirdest opinions based on pure ideology. They would for example not believe that "always evil" creatures are truly evil, as a peasant who just saw everyone he ever loved slaughtered before his very eyes would. Instead they'd try to analyze orcish culture and distill "toxic" elements in orc culture, then propagate the idea that an orc raised among humans would eventually become human. No matter how often this theory is proven incorrect by half-orcs eventually giving in to their instincts, wizards would still insist that the conditions were somehow not optimal and that in an entirely new (and borderline possible to achieve) set of circumstances orcs would be just as peaceful as humans. They also consider paladin, who consider it their duty to destroy all orcs, backwards religious zealots who don't belong in the current year.

>>50470402
Reminds me of a wizard I played as a atheist. During the campaign the party killed a god, worked for two others, the ranger received a boon from yet another and the final fight had them team up with... you guessed it another god.

He still claimed gods don't exist and are part of a backwards belief system to keep the peasants in line.

>>50470402
>>50470701
/pol/ get out

>>50464122
I've always hated the concept of barbarians in RPGs.

Persians were barbarians to the greeks, and they had a much more advanced civilization than them in many aspects. Celts and greeks were barbarians to the romans, and still the romans hired hundreds of greek wise men and celtic druids to educate their nobility

What a weird concept it is, and weirder yet that it has been turned into "big hairy guy with an axe"

Conan is actually a really cool concept, on the other hand.

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>>50471108
>What a weird concept it is, and weirder yet that it has been turned into "big hairy guy with an axe"
How strange indeed, that the modern usage of the word 'barbarian' refers to the stereotype the Greeks and Romans held of foreigners rather than the reality of the barbarians that lived south of the Alps. We can't have these cherrypicked stereotypes in THE CURRENT YEAR.

>>50471108
"barbarian" is actually just the fantasy way of saying "not!viking"

>>50471108
>Celts and greeks were barbarians to the romans,
not the greeks, cause they admired them

>>50471650
>S-Stupid Greek barbarians!
>I-It's not like I like you or anything!
>P-Plato is shit anyway! P-Polybios is a cool guy b-but he barely counts as Greek!
>Baka!

>>50464122
actually barbarians are not dumb, they are the same species of humans as we are, the difference lies on the conditions they live/are raised in. Barbarians often live in remove and sparsely populated regions where resources are hard to come by, so their cultures tend to be more focused on survival, a barbarian's life is often violent and full of hardships and they need to spend most of their time on the duties that will ensure the survival of his kin, hunting, foraging, bringing lumber or fighting enemies that menace his town/tribe/family. Some times even when they do all they can the resource they manage to gather on their lands are still very limited so they live in poberty. That's when barbarians turn to raiding and after some time that becomes part of their culture.

But in a richer enviroment humans have time to delve into more intelectual matters and develop a more "civilized" culture

>>50471677
checked and keked

>>50472798
forgot to add that "barbarians" are usually really andvanced in some aspect (usually things related to war or survival) for example, once i read that Germania means "land of the spearmen", the romans called it that because of the incredible way the locas fought with a Ger (long spear) with a very soffisticated combat style that was passed on between the warriors of each tribe

and the vikings had the most amazing ships of their time

>>50464122
So, it seems you're talking shit about the best class?

>>50464174
>if they can find any that haven't been raped yet.

Anon, you can re-rape women. Rape is the most eco-friendly thing you can do actually, because there's no worries about purity.

Just pumping that sloppy axewound with your beatstick.

>>50470402
> implying the wizards aren't right