ITT: things that make you hate your players, sometimes without

>players avoiding any and all conflict they are more than capable of dealing with
>players refusing to take any type of risk, will only proceed if there's a 100% chance of success and will bail at the slightest thing going wrong

FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU

>>50349287
>Getting pissy that people name their beloved weapons
Stopped here, clearly you are a faggot with no honor

>>50349339
A weapon is a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. It's like a dick. It's nice to have one, and it's nice to have a good one, but naming it is weird, and using its name is even weirder.

>>50349321
fucking this

>you see some goblins who are carrying a dead boar
>seems ominous better circle around them

>>50349379
A personal weapon is an extension of your warrior's soul

>>50349339
>shitty names without any logical backing
That's the problem. I can understand if you slay a dragon with a sword and then name it Dragonbane or whatever.

I refuse to understand when you have a +1 katana or whatever made for yourself and immediately name it something edgy like BloodrinkerMcLifender, and then horribly fail at using it due to shit rolls.

>>50349379
>not naming your dick
named weapons and tools are harmless fun
you are being THAT DM

>>50349399
Does that mean that it's possible to destroy a warrior by destroying his weapon?

That's a shitty warrior.

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>>50349379
>not naming weapons you go through hell and back with
Talkabout nofunallowed

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>>50349287
>all treasure distribution, whether coin or magic items, is a comedy of politeness as every single fucking player puts everything items in the party inventory bag instead of claiming anything themselves because "someone else might want it"

One time this happened in a Star Wars RPG Saga Edition game. There was a rifle specialist soldier in the party, and they had just found an experimental blaster rifle that had a cool secondary fire and was stronger than off-the-shelf blaster rifles, with only minor drawbacks (higher repair cost and lower ammo capacity).

Dumb fucker set it aside "just in case" and never actually got around to using it.

>playing on Roll20 or IRC and tell the players that I'll be back in 30-45 minutes and to RP among themselves
>return and find three posts, total
>nobody has done any significant roleplaying

>twelve sessions and sixteen battles into the game
>"What do I roll to attack, again?"

>>50349403
>Playing D&D

>>50349411
"Hurr you can destroy a warrior by removing his limbs, what a shitty warrior!"

That is you.

That is the level of argument you are making.

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>>50349287
>>players rolling when not asked to and bitching when their critical result is declared null and void
I thought you said "without a clear reason" OP.

Oh well, here's mine

>player gets attached to a murderously evil NPC

>player starts romancing said NPC

>player acts shocked once the known evil backstaber NPC that kills people betrays them and blame the GM for being bad

>>50349287
It gets better after high school.

>>50349379
So you wouldn't mind if I removed your dick?

>>50349339
>>50349399
>>50349430
>>50349457
A good warrior can function at peak capacity even with the most generic weapons. Otherwise he's a shitty warrior.

>>50349379
*tips katana*
You lost because you brought a tool to a sword fight.

>>50349287
>PCs treasuring their gear like it's their private parts, to the point of giving shitty names without any logical backing

I do this. Everyone seems to enjoy it, and as a result the rest of the players have begun getting more into personalizing their own characters leading to better RP.

>players insisting on doing everything according to the RAW and bitching when RAW fucks them over

>players second-guessing every description and action
Annoying

>players rolling when not asked to and bitching when their critical result is declared null and void

>above, combined with social rolls

I agree with these. However, my group isn't shitty when I tell them that they had nothing to roll for so nothing happens. We all interrupt each other A LOT so it's usually taken well. Except from one guy who absolutely cannot stand rolling poorly or not getting his way.

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>>50349411
>>50349457
Hand to hand is the basis of all combat! Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon!

>>50349379
Joking about one's 'Trouser Titan' is an excellent icebreaker, though. Who doesn't have a pet name for their dick used in playful moments?

>>50349487
You would obviously perform better with a weapon you know intimately rather than one you just just picked up, this is simple logic OP.

>>50349339
>honor
What's it like living in 1403?
>tips UAV control station

>>50349379
Dude what? Naming weapons is a time honored tradition of most civilizations on Earth.

>>50349379
Even Tankers name their tanks... mass produced pieces of soulless coffin machinery cranked out by a factory given affectionate names and treated as if they have 'personality' rather than manufacturing flaws.

It's part of anthropomorphism, the desire to recognize part of yourself in another, it's a fundamental part of human nature, you literally hate part of human nature.

>>50349559
>he can't function with any weapon he finds
Sounds like a shitty warrior.

>>50349534
And thats why you got killed by a giant robot, trying to h2h it.

>>50349566
>military
>humans

>>50349442
>not playing d&d
look at this fucking snowflake

>>50349567
>>50349487
>>50349411
What is with all this salt? You made a thread to bitch and were noted as being wrong by everyone.

>>50349560
>Not naming your drones

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>>50349287
>the party wants to split up
>constantly
>in dungeons
>in towns
>while one person is talking to a quest giver NPC the rest shout "this guy is boring I want to go to the blacksmith again"
>resident CE fuckwit breaks off from group as they leave for a dungeon and tries to burn down a town at level 3
>is shocked and irate when 20 city guards and adventurer guild members respond to the report that a guild member has gone mad
>is furious that he couldn't solo them all and dies immediately
>"Well maybe if my party didn't leave to do some stupid bullshit I wouldn't have died!"
mfw

>>50349612
Sounds like he thought he could load his last save in case things went wrong. Sounds like maybe he should go back to playing video games.

>>50349487
Here's the thing. People tend to get attached to things that don't have any self awareness and attach human properties to them where they don't or shouldn't exist. People who deal a lot with a specific dog will notice its personality, even people who spend a lot of time working on or with a specific car or computer will notice its "personality" whether real or imagined.

The same is even true of simpler objects like swords or axes, they have been with you through a lot and thus you begin attaching qualities to them even when they make no sense. It is no different than having a lucky sock or a favourite shirt. Pretty much you spend a lot of time with your weapon and you rely on your weapon so you start to care about it. You might not name it (I didn't even name my dog, I just call him dog) but that doesn't mean you won't become attached to it.

Honestly players that cycle through weapons are far less human than the ones who get attached to a single one. While pragmatic people exist it is nice when a player roleplays an attachment to a weapon to the point where they will use an inferior weapon even when better alternatives exist.

Optimization, builds, and discussion of characters more in terms of mechanics than any sort of meaningful attachment to the world other than how good they are at killing it.
I just want to play something other than 3.pf for god fucking sakes.

>>50349287
>PCs treasuring their gear like it's their private parts, to the point of giving shitty names without any logical backing
It's part of their inventory sheet in the same in the same way their stats or eye color are. Don't be surprised if they get attached to it.

>>50349321
Are they new players? Do they have experience with a previous GM in a high mortality game? Are you the high mortality GM?

>>50349691
>everyone needs to be a psychology major to play DnD

>>50349379
You clearly don't have a dick.

Players who act like hot shit and that any encounter are easy because of their "super optomised character" and then get pissy when anything challenging comes along and immediately declares "yep TPK this is bullshit" when they lose half their health.

>>50349399
>>50349407
>>50349565
>>50349593
weaboo trash


>>50349691
hey look, a reasonable argument

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>>50349792
Not that guy, but I am legitimately curious as to what kind of assbackwards logic lead to getting that from that post.

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>>50349399
It is if you're a soulknife.

>>50349871
>weaboo trash
Excalibur, Balmung, Carnwennan, Durendal, Mjolnir, Gram.

Fuck Off and learn your European Mythology.

>>50349844
>players who get sulky and upset when anything is even remotely challenging or dangerous

I feel like these are the kinds of people who either only play video games on easy mode or refuse to play a game unless they can mod the shit out of it or access the developer console to turn on cheats.

>>50349792
Why are you so fucking mad about people naming their weapons, OP?

>>50349916
All named by people other than their wielders, you piece of weeaboo trash.

>>50349546
I don't. I just refer to him as if he's a separate entity.

>>50349769
Not the guy you're responding to, but yeah, my players get the shit beaten out of them by the there DM in our group. I've even been at the recieving end of his bullshit.
For example:
>Party moving through dungeon
>Peek into next room
>Room is 6x4 squares on the battlemap
>Loaded with bone devils and some wierd demon type thing from MM 267-b
>teleport into room to try and disrupt formation
>Turns out the bad guy is CR 25 or something stupid, has an aura that causes people to start killing eachother, and a touch attack that sends you directly to Hell
>TPK
>lol, u guys were supposed to bottleneck them in that 10 foot wide corridor and fight this random, no build up boss battle that way

Seriously, I've tried to step in and run games of my own but I'm a DM, not a fucking therapist. Plus, this guy has it in his head that I'm out for revenge since I've never had a character survive more than 4 sessions in one of his games, so he always leads the charge on keeping the party out of any sort of adventure.

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>>50349871
>>50349959
>weaboo trash

>>50349457
>Equating a warriors warrior's weapon to his limbs
>Implying that stealing his sword will make him a nugget
>Implying that stealing his armour will make his skin fall off
If you puuled his mask off, would he die?

>>50349942
Because not everyone likes faggot weebs.

Starting to call into question OP's other complaints about his players considering his displayed autism over named weapons.

>>50349403
I bought a spear for larping.

I named it Pauperpoker.

My spear is awesome. Fuck you and everything you stand for.

>>50350039
>>50349959
>>50349871
ebin 13/10 trolling breh

I can't believe that bulllshit can be genuine

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>>50349919
>putting mods on the same level as those other things
fuck you vanilla pleb

>>50349442
>D&D is the only game where you can make your own sword

The Twilight Caste Solar Exalted with Craft as his Supernal scoffs at your boorishness... he then goes and gets shanked by a Wyld Hunt because he only put one dot into Melee.

>>50350039
Roland didn't just name his sword, he fucking talked to it as well

>>50350159
I think his >Playing D&D was more about the "+1 Katana" bit.

>>50350119
Mods are for faggots.

Go back to your animu waifu companion mod, half-sister romance/rape storyline mod or changing a couple of numbers to give yourself infinite resources and exp.

>>50349942
This isn't op, it's an ebin pretending to be retarded memester.
>without any logical backing
as in calling that +1 longsword you got off a dead orc dragonbane and then promptly abandoning it for deathrazor a +2 greatclub he got from an ogre.

>>50349287
>Players find hole in the ground when looking for Dungeon Entrance
>Just intended as a simple way in
>All I need is " I jump in "
>Most do
>Except One who goes " I surf down the side on my axe"
>Explain to them how many levels of retarded this is
>They still want to do it because "its cool"
>Let them do it
>Player is suprised when their character fails and takes damage

Whyi s common sense an alien concept to some people?

>>50350182
>Playing D&D

>>50350179
Totally serious here- I'm sorry some people get more enjoyment out of some games than you do.

>>50350195
Because some of them enter the game with the mindset of "I can do the retarded shit I saw on that cartoon a decade ago!"

>>50350179
>le ebin mods are cheats the balance is perfect because the dev is literally god fanboyism
Heaven forbid someone take responsibility for their own fun. I bet you only play modules because homebrew scenarios are cheating.

>>50350222
>I only enjoy games if I can rape the game

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>>50350115
>I can't believe that bulllshit can be genuine

didn't you get the memo? Becasue Fate/Stay Night exists, all of Europe's mythology has retroactively became weeb shit. I thought everyone knew that.

>>50350179
>Mods are for faggots.
>ever playing VTMB without Wesp's unofficial patch, or KotOR 2 without the TSLRCM + M4-78, or FO:NV without the restored content patches, or Thief without TFix, or Thief 2 without TafferPatcher

>>50350195
Wait, wouldnt the other players who just "jumped in" also take some damage? Why would him sliding down the wall change how he gets down? Seems like it would just end the same way anyways.

>>50350202
ex dee

>>50350246
The entire Fate franchise is a blight upon the world, fucking Japs.

ITT: /v/ simulator

>>50350255
Try jumping down the last 3 stairs and land on your feet

Now try surfing down the last three stairs and land on your face and elbows and hip

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>>50350246
>>50350280
>you'll never travel back in time and murder Nasu's grandfather to stop all this from happening
Fuck

>>50349321
>complaining your players are roleplaying correctly.
sounds like smart play to me.

>>50350255
Yeah, but the sliding player made the grievous sin of trying to have fun in a way his GM didn't approve of.

Alternativly the GM probaly rulled that the jumping characters landed on their feet. but the sliding guy fell awkwardly or something like that.

>>50350249
>or Doom without Sgt. Mark IV Brutal Doom

>>50350332
Sometimes you want to run AEoD or Russian Overkill.

>>50350255
The fact he did it on a bladed weapon was the cause of the damage.

>>50350321
THEY ARE ROLEPLAYING COWARDS
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE HEROES

>>50349287

>agree to set aside 4 hours weekend night
>do this two weeks ahead
>two out of the four players call it quits two hours in because they have "places to be"

>>50350179
Okay, look, the overabundance of anime waifu companions IS obnoxious, but are you seriously going to tell me that a mod like, say, Frostfall is somehow a bad thing?

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Any form of intentional plot aversion. I can GM around it usually, but it eats unnecessary time to convince my twinked-out, ambitionless, snowflake player that it's not against his character to be a semblance of part of a party.

More as follows

> the player that shows up late and has to roll a character up upon arrival due to their own unpreparedness.

>The player that purposely challenges the gamemaster by trying to creation dissention in the group, as well as trying to form plot holes to see if the gm can fill them as fast as he makes them.

>The "what do I roll for that" of a player that's not new.

>Can I try to find and purchase x magic item in this tiny fishing village?

> Above; tries to argue why it would be plausible to find said item for 20 minutes after spending an hour searching town.

> Arguing with the GM.

>Rules nazis. If a GM is overlooking a core game rule, it's typically on purpose. Don't argue unless they're just depriving you of GM-protection.

The player that creates an identical replica of an anime antihero and changes their name slightly to poorly mask their traces.

They always end up being an edgetard who Gary Oaks the main party.

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>let players find cool stuff like clothes and items, both magical and mundane
>they never wear any new clothes
>they never use items
>they never use new weapons
>only switch if something is absolutely positively superior in every single way
>we've been playing for a year and they are all basically wearing and using the same stuff they started the campaign with

>>50349287
Hygiene

>>50349321
If shit goes wrong my characters will get the fuck out, they aren't suicidal.

>>50349399
But so is your dick.

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>>50349321
> Journeying west
> "You hear a hydra in the distance"
> Decide to go around it at a safe distance because I'm on a very urgent quest and don't have time for monsters just chilling in the wild
> DM puts another hydra in my path
> Go around that one
> Mount's apparently faster than them so I can simply outrun them
> DM gets pissy and has a dragon come out of nowhere
> End up killing it almost immediately because of the homebrew crit rules he uses
> My friend who had been riding along and I proceed to loot the nearby hoard

>PC wanders off only giving the rest of the party a single sentence to convey this
>It's a monstrous PC who should not be left alone so the NPCs won't freak out
>Party forgets about the other PC and just starts heading out without them when it comes time to move on

And I used to wonder why so many groups would just stick together like glue during downtime.

>>50349534
Only a fool brings a knife to a gunfight.

Or, in your autistic case, brings nothing to a knife fight.

>>50351717
Why was the DM so keen about having that Hydra fight?

>>50351795
Because his quantum ogres are so very precious.

>>50350316
Your suffering empowers me.

>>50351795
Hell if I know, he's kinda been pulling random stuff out of his ass lately. Our other two party members decided to fight them both instead and didn't get anything besides experience. Honestly most of the session felt like "filler for while you travel from plot location A to plot location B",

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>>50349287
>sperging, esp when the sperg corrects a history teacher about history or an economist concerning money.
>sjw and victim culture in all its forms
>interrupting the game to talk about weed and or conspiracy theories for an hour
>sabotaging the game in the hope of playing a different game next week, namely pathfinder
>for bad gms, deliberately making the game more shallow, more mechanical or less imaginative, for the sake of "accessibility" or downright admitted laziness
>furfagotry and erp. no special explanation needed here.

>>50349287
>players demanding a scientific explanation for everything in a soft sci-fi setting
fair enough for that one, we're humans, we wanna know how stuff works, and in a game where you more often than not end up having to fight that stuff it's pertinent info.

>>50350179
t. consolefag who can't into mods

>>50349578
>military
>humans

>channer
>subhuman

Seems about right.

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>group sees a group of hulking minotaurs in a desert
>we're a long while away from our destination
>we're a low level party
>most of the group decides to avoid them
>Fucksticks McGee decides he can take 'em
>we tell him we won't follow
>"More xp for me!"
>surprised when he gets destroyed
>angry we didn't aid him
???
Hell, even the vorarephile only jokes about taking on dragons for a specific loss in mind; he isn't dumb enough to actually do it.

>>50350321
Smart play is not always fun/exciting play. Think of all the stories that would be over in 5 minutes if they just "played it smart."

>>50351717
>1-hit KO a dragon while outrunning a pair of a hydras.
Christ, were you two riding a tank shell or something?

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>>50350039
This is Lucille. She is awesome.

>>50352270
Apparently Phantom Steeds are just really fucking fast, or my DM was just being an idiot.

As for the crit, he uses a d100 table to decide the outcome and I just rolled high enough to wreck its shit. Honestly it doesn't fit well with his campaign since he sticks to books while our friend who made it does more homebrew such that it isn't so fucking OP.

>>50350316
Hey, at least it produces the occasional good waifu somewhere amidst the see of trash.

>>50351717
>Avoid monsters because you can't be bothered
>Outrun them with ease
>Oneshot the one that gets close enough to annoy you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TUTJ0klnKk

>>50349321
I wish I had a group like this.

>you come across the main stronghold of a hostile group. 200+ enemies. Do you guys want to just scout it out from afar?
>nah lets just rush em.

>>50349287
>PC's assume every encounter is winnable by force alone...

Seriously guys, you can talk to people, run away, bribe etc etc.

>Every mirror is smashed in every setting / campaign / dungeon / game

One fucking time I do a "Mirror You" fight. It makes zero fucking sense in a modern military spy game shit climbs out of mirrors. It's Spycraft not the fucking ring.

>>50352101
not
>>channer
>>faggot

come on...

>>50349982
Do you guys ever feel like you're getting cucked by your own dick?

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>>50350404
>>50349919
>>50349844

if it's utility vs combat strength, they never take the utility...

>everybody always loses drive for real time campaigns, IRL or online chat, if this happens twice in a row
>get tired of this shit
>try Play by Post
>can't convince autistic nerds who spend 8+ hours a day on a computer to spend 10 minutes posting every 2-3 days

This hobby is kinda hard to like at times. I think modern video games ruined a lot of potential pcs. Most are completely unaware of it too and think they're very clever people.

>design a small dungeon bit
>a simple puzzle
>put in one brain dead simple approach: loot this clearly trapped room and leave it alive
>there's also a small riddle chamber that lets you avoid the trapped room or double up on rewards
>half the party kinda goes catatonic because woah gotta think

Now I want to run a Sphinx just to see what happens. It's so hard to run puzzles when people just give up if the answer isn't obvious. I think it should be like an Adventure Game: you should feel like trying to apply everything to everything else just to see what happens! Or at least examine the environment.

>try to run combat according to intelligence of adversaries after reading a neat primer in the Book of Vile Darkness about how devils are cheating cunning bastards.
>PCs always get out foxed by anyone using even mild tactics
>if the enemy sets traps, flanks, sets ambushes or use any other advantage they will see 100% return on investment.
>all common sense stuff. Put ranged combatants on high ground, block chokepoints, etc.
>this should reward PCs who make use of ways to get around that are more involved than running in a straight line
>nah

It's just frustrating. You end up with people who can't do any critical thinking without a fucking arrow and line telling them where to go. All cues are ignored, subtle or obvious. People are genuinely surprised when bad things happen, like they never considered that their enemies want to win too.

>players demanding a scientific explanation for everything in a soft sci-fi setting
isn't that why it's soft instead of hard?

>>50353361
It's 'soft' as in 'Because SCIENCE!' should be taken as explanation enough for all the sci-fi shit the GM is throwing at the players.

>But how does FTL work?
Fuck you Steve, if I knew how it works there would be a Nobel on my shelf.

>>50353101

..Yeah, I fucked up.
>sudoku

>>50349287
>>players insisting on doing everything according to the RAW and bitching when RAW fucks them over

My fucking favorite
>whaaat? this rule actually leads to a bad consequence for me? can we homebrew this one i don't want bad things to happen to me

>players demanding a scientific explanation for everything in a soft sci-fi setting

I can one-up that one:
>players demands scientific explanation for everything in a soft sci-fi setting. Said players also have a very poor grasp of physics and science but do not realize this.

>>50349287

>Insisting that a good roll equals success, no matter how dumb or impossible the activity is.

It wasn't an actual in game example, but when I asked if he "deserved" to be able to have his human character fly by flapping his arms if he tried real hard and rolled 100, he in all apparent seriousness said yes.


Also

>Blatant, and I mean absolutely no attempt to even hide it, metagaming. "GM, how many more fights are we going to have before we reach the Big Bad? I need to know how many charges in my wand to save for him."

>>50353548
>>Blatant, and I mean absolutely no attempt to even hide it, metagaming. "GM, how many more fights are we going to have before we reach the Big Bad? I need to know how many charges in my wand to save for him."

I love these. I always give a non sequitur, lie, or tell him to use his head and study the situation(if I'm in a good mood and actually including some cue he could find.)

I'm a big fan of doing the same when somebody tries to ask you to do their math for them. I'm running EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD that isn't you PCs, why would I look up the rules for a running jump for you? Are your eyes on the fritz?

>>50353287
>
It's just frustrating. You end up with people who can't do any critical thinking without a fucking arrow and line telling them where to go. All cues are ignored, subtle or obvious. People are genuinely surprised when bad things happen, like they never considered that their enemies want to win too.
I always give players the benefit of the doubt when it comes to stuff like this, because they can't s'see behind the screen', so to speak.

>>50353548
>Insisting that a good roll equals success, no matter how dumb or impossible the activity is.
This is your fault, at least in part. Never cal for a roll when failure is impossible, and never allow a player to roll when success is impossible.

>>50353607

I'm well aware of the problem of "Obvious to the GM, insane gibberish to the PCs", especially in puzzle set up. But a lot of problems come from things visible on combat maps and such. Or just reading situations and pulling the worst possible move. PCs who won't help each other set up flanks, avoid friendly fire aoe, or avoid being cornered.

Thinking about it, it's like everybody is their own shithead MOBA superstar, wondering why the match is going badly and why everybody else is dragging them down.

I find most of my PC kills come from just running things straight-faced. I've had a caster start a fight with a mob boss by throwing a fireball at him. While surrounded. He gets swarmed, gets pummeled, tries to fly and regroup with the party. Hit twice in mid-air and hits 0 HP, fall damage for deader than dead. No planning with the party, he just felt it was time to fireball. Rest of the group won the fight, the dude just started in the absolute dumbest fucking position possible.

>but I could do it in Fallout...

>>50351785
>use disarm
THIS IS A FISTFIGHT NOW, BITCH!

>>50353671
I don't call for impossible rolls. The usual progression is

>I want to do X
>you realize that'll never work, right?
>I rolled a twenty, how much loot do I get?

And then a small temper tantrum when I tell them that no, you can't unilaterally declare success like that.

i hate when players demands me to play out his sex with bar-maid since iam a guy and he is also a guy... its just akward

>>50353748
>pulls out second knife
no it isn't

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>>50349321
>mfw my players all do this
>mfw they complain my campaign "lacks direction"

>>50353840
You start to hear dark rumbling. Your oponen suddenly switches position then you see something horrible. Third fist is rising up from his asshole "Hehe nothing personel kid" you can feel it rage even more than you smell shit and blood. Its fistius the fist born. and his fist will destroy you.

>>50353945
"Heh. not bad kid. but i'm about to end this" and with a wink, he is gone. a clink of metal on stone alerts you to the fact he is behind you. He opens up his black trenchcoat, and from the depths within pour thousands of knives. As the flow ebbs, a single, gigantic knife is left in his hand, it is hard to look at, containing extra-spacial properties. it is... the infinite knife.

>>50350693
>tacking survival elements onto a game that wasn't built around it
yes I am going to tell you that

>>50353999
smell of body odor catches fistius by suprise. His third fist however flings ball of ball and shit toward oponents fedora. Giving him chance to escape nice trips

>>50349431
>tell players that I'll be back in awhile, RP among themselves
>three posts, total

NOTHING MAKES ME FUCKING ANGRIER. AND THEN THEY BITCH ABOUT NOT GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY FOR DEVELOPMENT AND CAMPFIRE RP

>>50353778
You need to train your players better. I've always made it clear that rolls only count once I call for them - if they roll ahead of time, it isn't a roll. Mainly because I used to deal with a player who'd roll his dice as an idle gesture, but when he got a good roll would pretend it was for perception.

>>50354066
i used to do that but i dont because i dont waste my good rools and idle rolls. But when i get streak of bad rolls i roll the die until i get good numbe

>>50354095
That's fine, you do you. We all have our idle animations - I make dice golems. But it's not a roll unless we've established it's a roll before the dice leave your hand.

>>50349287
Getting lore facts wrong.
Especially in heavily established or popular settings (Exclude FR There is just TOO much in that.)

>>50354245
I like to call eldar Space elves. I cen feel bit of our eldar loving DM die everytime i do it.

>>50354066

I've never had much luck with training players. I tend to only get results by booting and bringing in new, better players. Unfortunately, said better players also sometimes leave the game for various reasons, which means I Need to start a process over again by bringing in new, potentially idiotic players.

But honestly, I can't think of a player who started off shit and became better, the good ones were good from the stat at things like understanding the context and the expectations. System mastery was the main thing that improved with practice.

>>50349339
>>50349379

Here's my own take on named weapons. They aren't named because the person who wields them names them, they are named weapons because other people named it. It's like having a nickname, you don't get to pick you're nickname someone else gives you one. Hell I've was called high school and Mexican't for most of my time in college.

>>50349287
>PCs treasuring their gear like it's their private parts, to the point of giving shitty names without any logical backing
>Fafhrd&Graywand.jpg

>>50349379
>keep a weapon since my character was first level
>it was a weapon they managed to use fairly regularly, but for whatever reason never upgraded or replaced
>finally name it after a particularly tough battle, where you finally realize how much you rely on it and how much it has become a part of you as a warrior

>>50349691
It's frustrating when the pragmatic person doesn't understand why a player might get pissed that they sold their backstory-important sword for a slightly better sword.

>>50349287

>You walk through the arch way, before you is...

>Oh god here comes the party wipe guys, what horrible thing are you going to do to us this time DM. I hope everyone bought healing potions.

>umm, well there is a treasure chest...

>OH GOD it's a mimic everyone stand back, someone shoot arrows at it.

>Uh the chest now has arrows sticking out of it

>OH GOD!!! it's a super tough mimic!! the whole place is probably trapped too lets just leave guys, Anon, you're always trying to dick us over.

I've not once used a mimic in my 4 years of DMing with these people.

>wearing plaid at the table
Every time I see plaid at the table I know the new guy is a dick head or my session will be a meme orgy.

>>50355594
Make the door they try to escape through a mimic

>>50355611
oh

>>50353497
>>players demands scientific explanation for everything in a soft sci-fi setting. Said players also have a very poor grasp of physics and science but do not realize this.

worse

>player is an engineer undergrad and tries (poorly) to lawyer the rules to let him do stupid shit

>>50349287
>Players that immediately try to work for the big bad and try to weasel as much money out of them as possible to start a business.

It stops getting interesting after the 4th campaign.

>>50350119
I don't mind mods, I just mind people who use them to make games ridiculously easy.

>>50356370
Why would you care how someone else plays a game?

>>50356500
Because I am a petty wretch who cares about things that are entirely beyond my control, obviously.

Realtalk though it's less about that and more about the connotations it has for how they play other games. You can usually (but not always) figure out the type of roleplayer someone will be by how they play video games.

>>50356521
I think I misused connotations there and meant implications.

>>50349321
>DMing for millennials

>>50349287
>Looting every single weapon from every single encounter and then asking me each fucking time if there is something special or better than their current, custom-made shit made on special order from highly-skilled smith

>Abusing hypnotic powers to the point no plot ever can happen, but never even considering this might be their own fault, even after shitload of talking about it

>Absolutely ignoring any form of roleplay the moment more money (or any money at all) can be made by going against own character

>Bonus points if this involves going against declared alignment or something similar to it

>Never ever taking care about gear, mounts and similar, then bitching how it wears down and how the horses underperform. Especially if it's part of the rules and everyone is familiar with those

>Never, ever, taking the armour off, in some paranoid assumption there is an enemy sneaking in every shadow. Then bitching how expensive the healing salves are and how can ever the armour give bruises and intertrigos.

>Bonus points if it's part of the rules the players invented themselves.

>Players trying to insist how the NPCs should react to their threats or intimidation, without either roleplaying nor rollplaying through this, but just declaring "I intimidate them".

>>50349379
> t. woman with penis envy

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>>50349431
>>playing on Roll20 or IRC and tell the players that I'll be back in 30-45 minutes and to RP among themselves

>>50349287
>Player dodges every single attack aimed at his character
>Getting butthurt the moment a bad roll happens or the enemy got critical
>Trying to bend the rules and never take a hit, doesn't matter if it's some insignificant attack or even outright slap in the face

>Player uses fists against heavily-armoured enemies
>Consistently and constantly surprised they shrug those off
>Never, ever able to grasp this is not D&D and he's not playing a monk

>>50356806
Gimme a break, I had to take a monster shit. These things sneak up on you sometimes.

>>50349720
Play 5e, then?

>>50349287
>Players can't make a decision

>The moment something goes wrong or they end up in trouble, they try to reverse the whole thing and try again with different setup

>Players spend literal hours to make the simplest plan on how to act and what to do; the plan itself takes less than 5 minutes to implement

>While they are making the plan, it's made entirely OOC

>Players never actually read the rules and are extremely salty when their assumptions don't correspond with how things actually work

>Players are surprised NPCs don't act how they imagine things should go; to avoid That GM mark - would you really asume vendor being nice to you after you tried to extort him and try to openly rob him?

>Players describing the world and situation in which they act, completely ignoring the given descriptions and narration. Especially if they rewrite already established facts, item placement and ground to get advantage out of it.

>>50349287
>PCs treasuring their gear like it's their private parts, to the point of giving shitty names without any logical backing
Excuse me for trying to roleplay.

>>50349287
There is one thing that annoys me to no end.
Munchkin attitude combined with ignorance.
I can take on people who are obsessed with optimalisation and getting OP, that's a standard fare. I can deal with idiots who are simply disruptive and actively or passively try to derail the scenario, that just happens and usually needs just talking.

What I can't stand are munchkins trying to break the scenario down, so they can loot as much shit as possible while being completely oblivious to the fact they are ruining the fun for the rest of the group and then even go a step further, trying to buy their loyalty with in-game present, in some stupid assumption everyone at the table is playing for the e-pen value.

>>50356889
Not the OP, but which part of "without any logical backing" you didn't get?

And besides - if you consider that what amounts to roleplaying, I've got bad news for you

>>50356931
>Munchkin attitude combined with ignorance.

This gets me, too. When a player thinks he's found some unbeatable brokenly powerful combination of abilities, and then gets sulky or tries to argue when it's pointed out right there in the rules that this combination of abilities doesn't work that way at all.

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>>50350179
>There are no increased difficulty mods
>There are no immersion-improving mods

The only games I've ever modded have been Mount & Blade and M&B: Warband. I'm not some Skyrim Nexus mod junky, I'm just bowled over by your bullshit.

Die. 9/10, made me respond and made me mad.

>>50356870
>Players never actually read the rules and are extremely salty when their assumptions don't correspond with how things actually work

Holy fucking shit this.

>>50349379
>not naming your dick

>>50356940
Not >>50356889 but I'd root for someone who's giving their equipment a rudimentary bit of flavor on the grounds that they're at least going that little extra bit of calling their weapon something neat instead of '+2 flaming longsword'.

If someone's putting in a little bit of effort then the prudent response is to encourage it so that they feel more incentivised to roleplay further.

>>50356940
>thinking you need some legendary event to name a tool/weapon
The fuck is it up to you to decide what's "logical" for my fighter?

Maybe in his home they have a culture of naming weapons and hoping they one day gain souls via use? Maybe they forge them specifically for that character? Maybe he gets fucking lonely and pulls a Wilson?

>>50356964
Nah, that's actually solvable and easy to fix.

What I mean by ignorance is this complete lack of self-awarness, where someone just goes on abusing every single game-breaker he/she can muster, never mind the consequences for the game, scenario or rest of the party.
You know, like when the rules for telekinesis are badly worded and you end up with a mage tossing cavalry charges away, since "according to the rules I can" and thus loosing the touch with reality or the concept he might do something really bad when there is mounted military unit chasing him for his deeds.

>>50356998
And I'm a completely different person who says "fuck this shit", because it's always pretentious, forced and usually done solely to get 1 or 2 points more "for the effort" when the scenario is over.
I'm sick and tired of people who think getting overboard is how roleplaying should be done. But what do I know, I'm just GMing for past 12 years.

>>50357058
>A thuggish warlord calling his baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire "Lucille" and pretending it's a sentient being is somehow ok and not fucking ridiculous to the point you can't take him serious
Yep, totally going to support this shit, let's give all the gear names! That brings SOOO MUCH out of the character

>>50356733
nice buzzwotd, care to elaborate?

>>50357097
>A thuggish warlord calling his baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire "Lucille" and pretending it's a sentient being is somehow ok and not fucking ridiculous to the point you can't take him serious
I would not so much as blink at this.

>>50349287

>upset about naming weapons
>what is Excalibur, Gram, Gungnir, Tyrfing, Caladbolg, Durandel, and Tizona

>>50357107
Millenials. Aka Generation Y, the next generation after Generation X.
Which means kids born between late 80s to mid/late 90s. In short - children born before 2000, but old enough to finish their childhood before 2010 or so.

And surprise, surprise, it's not a buzzword. But 4chan should fucking learn what it actually means and to whom it applies.

>>50357110
Not the first anon, but I will anyway recommend acquiring some fucking taste, man.

>>50357126
>Not seeing the difference between Excalibur and random pitchfork sharpened by random peasant

>>50357097
>Warlord: Listen here you punks. You better tell me what I need to know or I'll get Lucille to start asking for me.
I don't know why you'd have a problem with this

>>50357110
>Not even getting the reference
No wonder you see no problem with such behaviour

>>50357151
Okay, we get it, you've never had a strong attachment to an animate object in your life.

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>>50357065
I mean, ignoring that you consider naming a piece of equipment to be "going overboard", I'd still take someone who is trying but making a pig's ear out of it than someone who doesn't try at all and treats their character as a walking statblock and little more. Shockingly enough, people who aren't very good at roleplaying tend to improve when their DM encourages them for giving it a shot. But what would I know, my first tabletop was 4e.

>>50357159
I wouldn't, if that was actually how things were going.

Instead, there has to be some half-coherent bullshit about Lucille being thirsty for blood and jeleous about other weapons. Nobody is scared of this shit. They might be scared of the bat, but the moment this shit starts rolling, you are not laughing only because you are one smile away from being raped to death.

>>50350179
>nofunallowed.jpg

>>50357175
>But what would I know, my first tabletop was 4e.
That explains more than you could imagine.

And people improve when they are given reasons and ways to improve, rather than dig deeper in their shit.
Which average "namecalling" is, because this or that bumbling fuck read the part of the rulebook for GMs how all the signs of "taking role-playing serious" grants extra experience points or any other reward. Naming weapons and other gear is in fact very often provided as an example of such "awarded" behaviour, so it's what all the idiots greedy for points do.

I have zero tolerance, remorse or qualms about this shit. It's toxic. It needs to be punishable, so people start going all hammy, because the rulebook was written for complete morons with zero experience in roleplaying and teaches them from the very start most toxic behaviour.

>>50357229
*Stop going all hammy

>>50357142
It is a buzzword and just like other buzzwords like autism it has a definition, but people without two braincells to rub together use it to mean whoever I don't like.

>>50351422
This is the problem with +(x) weapons.

You have to think laterally. Like, nicer areas of the cities have dress codes, or certain styles proclaim allegiances and will cause NPCs to react differently.

Weapons don't have bonuses to damage, but instead cause different types of damage. Or give bonuses against certain other types of armour and weapons, IE Axes can be used to try and pull down someone's shield giving a bonus to another players attack against that enemy.

>>50357229

God forbid someone create motivations, character quirks, or familial relations in your game.

They should just all be chaotic neutral orphans who only care about eking another +5% out of their next weapon, rather than getting attached to the one they killed a robber knight with, or the one they found in a hill giant's lair.

>>50355648
Whole dungeon is a mimic.

>>50357229
>this or that bumbling fuck
>all the idiots greedy for points
>complete morons with zero experience in roleplaying
I'll be honest mate, I've got doubts that you've DMed for 12 years because this is a pretty unfriendly attitude to have.

If someone's looking in the rulebook for how to roleplay and applying it, albeit in a flawed manner, they should at the very least be condoned for trying in the first place, because that encourages them to ask more questions and further read into how to properly roleplay, whereas your unnecessarily hostile and punishing take on it is just gonna push them away. Catch more flies with honey than vinegar, or so they say.

>>50357268
Nope any act of roleplaying is done solely to get more XP.

>>50355594
I don't ever plan to use mimics, I'll only ever employ them when the players try to make stupid jokes about it
>you start climbing the tree and-
>IT EATS YOU CUZ ITS A MIMIC LOL
>Yep, roll to resist a grapple
>DUDE WHAT!!? NOT COOL
>Roll initiative

>>50357164
Not that guy, but the peasant who names his pitchfork something pompous and legend worthy sounds actually pretty interesting.

Shit ton of bluff and manages to scare away armies because of his pitchfork's name.

Sounds like something from a fairy tale. the brave little tailor I think? 7 in one swipe?

>>50357229
>>50357182
So basically you saw something done poorly once and now you hate that thing?

No wonder you hate 4e.

>>50357268
You are missing the point so fucking hard it's not even funny anymore

Let's study two examples, from the same party I've been GMing for two years ago
>Player A
For the entire duration of our gameplay, he was writting a diary. Entirely in character, mixing both all the data gathered by players with PCs thoughts and insights on things. This also included plans and maps drawn on scraps and random sketches of intentionally poor quality (the player was Arts major)
>Player B
He read in the corebook that GM should award players for explaining their characters and their motivations. So he brought with him one day a 30-pages long backstory. Thing is, it had absolutely NO relation with his character or what he was roleplaying

If you still don't get it, sorry anon, but you should change hobby for rollplaying

>>50357298
Actually I would believe he has been in the hobby awhile. He sounds like a lot of set in their way older GMs I've met.

>>50357298
>this is a pretty unfriendly attitude to have.
Not him, but have you ever heard about being burned out or tired?
I have a hard time not to smack some of my players from time to time, even if I fucking love playing with them.

>>50357273
They're the mimic. A Wizard was experimenting with getting mimics to work on sentient beings, and being forced to mimic the PC resulted in them forgetting that they were one.

They're being chased down by the original PC who was hurt by the magical experiment and now acts erratically and has to struggle against going "out of focus" from his own shape whenever he gets close to the mimic, so the party thinks that THEY are the mimic.

>>50357337
>Thing is, it had absolutely NO relation with his character or what he was roleplaying
I'll take 'Shit that has never happened' for 100, Alex.

>>50357337

Or maybe you should have been clearer from the outset, rather than saying "argh! roleplayer just want xp to powergame!"

Context motherfucker.

>>50357307
>Once

I wish this was just once.

>>50357337
How long has each player been playing RPGs?

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>>50349287

> a player constantly bitches about the result of his dice rolls, will demand the dice to be switched with other ones if he gets consecutive shitty rolls. Acts like he doesn't understand what RNG is but has been playing for years now.

> a player who isn't at all invested in the role playing part and just the game part of a RPG, will often give simpleton responses to everything, never engages in party talk or banter, and shows visible frustration when the rest of the party is taking some time to just develop character and chill. Isn't happy unless we are literally just dungeon crawling every time we play.

>>50357298
Please tell us all how THE FUCK giving people encouragement to dwell in their mistakes is good for anyone. Jesus Christ, what the fuck?!
It's plain and simple - player does bad shit, you inform them after the game this shit is bad. You do not award them a fucking prize for doing bad

There is such saying in my country, translating roughtly into "Hell is paved with good intentions". Think about it for a while.

>>50350179
My mods all just turn the game into a vastly more difficult survival experience, sounds like you've only dealt with shitty mods.

>>50357393
People aren't saying you reinforce bad behaviour. People are saying that the behaviour of weapon naming isn't bad.

I bet you hate it when a PC tries to court an NPC or buy a house.

>>50357366
Maybe you should just hone up your reading comprehension instead?

>>50357380
It was their first time playing. As in - I was their first GM and this was the first time they've both played anything at all.

>>50357393
>Hey, the DM seemed happy that I was roleplaying
>I should ask and read about roleplaying and get more in-depth to keep that shit up
Not really that difficult m8.

Also, what >>50357409 said.

>>50357409
>I bet you hate it when a PC tries to court an NPC or buy a house.
... because?

The fuck it even has to do with the subject at hand?

>>50357411
So you're pissed that one newbie didn't pick up roleplaying as fast as the arts major?

>>50357424
>The fuck it even has to do with the subject at hand?
I'm accusing you of only being for murderhoboing. Because it's "logical".

Look at one of the codifiers of fantasy, LoTR. Almost every weapon in that story has a name.

>>50357411
Maybe you should stop GMing for a while, it kinda sounds like you don't really enjoy it unless the PC's are playing exactly how you want them to.

>>50357298
Reading so far through his posts (assuming they belong to the same guy), he is very much an "old-school" 90s GM. You know, the type of highly-demanding bitter prick that can run great games, but you better never try to pull some rookie shit and react rather than act.

>>50357452
Not him, but how does being an art major relates with the speed of picking up role-playing skills? What are you implying? That my accountant buddy is some sort of abberration, because he's a neat, collected dude filling tax forms for fun and gigles, while in the same time being perfectly capable to roleplay as far back as I care to remember?

>>50357505
Not him, but I'm sure it was just an offhand comment. You probably shouldn't look into it so deeply.

>>50357471
I don't give two squats about PCs. But I do care when my players assume they can try milk the system or treat role-playing as a way for some extra, mechanical reward. If that's why you roleplay in the first place and not for the sake of it or the fun it brings - the doors are there. No hard feelings on my side, either.

>>50357542
Why assume that all attempts at RPing is for extra EXP?

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>>50357517
I know this is an offhand comment. I'm just pointing out it's making a truly retarded argument and draws a corelation between completely unrelated factors. Just check pic related

>>50349916
Oh you wanna be like that? How about more recent examples, such as the Enola Gay? Pilots and crew in WW2 named their planes and tanks all the damn time! They're weapons too; just weapons that you happen to ride in.

>>50357554
Because why else would they do something he doesn't approve of?
He's been at this for 12 years he is obviously an expert.

>>50357542
That's not the way I roleplay but why assume that's the way I, or anyone else is playing? I get that you're an experienced GM, so you've probably seen lots of types of players but why be cynical about the idea of naming a weapon? You're in too deep my man, it's time to pull out for a while

>>50357411

No. My reading comprehension is fine. But there's a vast gulf of difference between "giving shitty names without any logical backing to gear" and writing 30 pages of backstory hoping the GM will hand out xp for it.

One is silly and possibly harmless, the other one is clearly just an attempt to munchkin.

If your beef is with roleplaying xp (and it clearly is), that's fine.

But speaking as someone who has been GMing for significantly longer than you, you're That GM for being this butthurt about a newbie's lack of understanding. Worse, if it was actually a rule in the game books you were using, you should have been upfront that you don't give roleplaying xp, and explained why.

Also, have a goodnight. I hope you have sweet dreams, are rested in the morning.

>stab somebody in the back once to pull out the victory
>it's brought up every single game night since and people will refuse to do deals with you even if it benefits them

>>50357554
If you were following the whole argument, you would notice it's not about "all RPing", but rather hamming things up and going overboard.
Dunno, it's like you never had to deal with a player who assumes it will be such a brilliant idea to play as Film!Gimli 2000, ramping up already hammy character to just unbearable degree. And most of it done, because the player
- assumes it's right
- the book stated they should be rewarded handsomly for doing so

It all boils down to experience, really. You simply see when someone is just trying to milk it after certain point, making a clear distinction between people who genuinely can't roleplay and those who have no clue what the fuck they are doing, but they don't care either, cuz reward.

>>50357621
>Surprised money can buy friends
>Especially imaginary money

>>50357624
If you don't like roleplay XP then be upfront about with your players.

>>50357651
And what makes you think I'm not?

When we are done with the scenario, it's usually another hour or so discussing how the game went, who and for what got rewarded, what could go differently and what could be done better, both in and out of character.

But if you seriously think saying to people "I'm not giving XP for gimmicks" will stop them from trying, then you are just naive.

>>50357684
Maybe they aren't trying to get XP for gimmicks, and you're just assuming they are?

>>50357701
I can't say I've ever had a player outright be like "I named my sword, so how about a level chum?"

>>50357684
If you tell them that action x won't get them extra XP and they continue with action x maybe they just like doing it regardless if reward.

>>50357606
To not repeat myself: >>50357684

>>50357701
When people outright ask you how much extra they will get/are getting for doing X, there is no place for assumptions. And then there is talking with them after you suddenly see someone dialing everything up to 11, even if previously they were doing just fine roleplaying their own character and you learn they've read that brilliant manual that advised doing so.

>>50357606
Not the other guy, but giving xp for roleplaying as a can of worms that shouldn't be ever opened. If your group consists entirely from roleplayers, then you will reward them anyway for their effort. If you have rollplayers, they don't care, so there is no point giving xp for something that didn't happen.
But when you end up with munchkins, you get what that anon describes - people trying to reap as much xp as they can, in most distasteful and simply cringeworthy ways possible

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>>50349379
>bringing tools to a swordfight

>>50357624
>Dunno, it's like you never had to deal with a player who assumes it will be such a brilliant idea to play as Film!Gimli 2000, ramping up already hammy character to just unbearable degree. And most of it done, because the player
What, are you honestly bitching about requiring players be nuanced and understated? Half the fun of an RPG is being able to play as outlandish and dramatic characters.

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>>50350195
Iktfb
>last session
>player bitches about not punching enough shit on a stealth mission
>constantly plays lolrandumb monk
>NO social skill points
>tries to convince me out of character
>thinks PCs are super heros and throws his title around every chance
>next mission is assaulting a assassins front business to shake them up
>player trys to constantly argue that burning the place down would be better
>constantly asks out of character if he can toss a "fire 'nade"
>constantly shouts "OH I KNOW what to do/what this is/were this is going/where we are"

Just end this lol randumb drunken monk bullshit already. Never again.

Also /tg/, how well have your groups switched systems? I want to try to run a 1920s CoC game but everyone is a 3.5 diehard.

>>50349339
Honor is a construct of primitive societies that couldn't rely on law enforcement and had to base all their deals on mutual agreements, safeguarded by something to ensure they won't just backstab each other, with no means to get justice later.

In short - strong law enforcement and the existence of Rechtsstaat and similar entities makes honor redundant. And there is nothing wrong in lacking it.

>>50357869
If you can't see the difference between being outlandish and intentionally failing at being outlandish - you are part of the problem I'm having.

>>50357591
Or we can go big, Fat Man and Little Boy are god damned bombs, they are meant to explode, and they STILL got names.

>>50357896
Honestly, man. It sounds like you've had bad experiences and proceeded to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

>>50357933
it's ok though, it was a brown baby

>>50349339
>>50349399
>>50349407
ITT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ItKF3xyci8

>>50357766
How do you deal with these people? Do you call them a faggot at the table, or do you just tell them no when they ask for xp?

>>50350780
whats the name of that card again? I remember a greentext of a guy jerking off to it.

>>50349287
Oh hey, I'm the only one who thought about their character in context of the gm's world. Guess I'm defacto plot guy again. I sure do love having my characters completely take over the flow of the game because everyone else will just sit there until the gm gets bored and pokes them with a stick.

>>50357362
Not the guy you're responding to, but I have seen someone with a five page back story for their character. Thirty sounds really heavy and it might not have happened to him personally, but it's within the realm of possibility.

My shadowrunner is a novacoke addict satyr decker.
He/she gives a name to her deck and his guns.
They forget them.
then call them a different name.

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>>50349287
This one guy at my table is kind of unhinged. Every time he kills anything (literally anything, stepping on a fucking ant even) he chants "come on timmy come on timmy suck it down for sally"

Like, it never fucking stops, he chants this stupid shit while everyone else is trying to do their thing. I fucking hate that guy.

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>>50357972

>>50357884
What about agreements and deals that aren't safeguarded by law? You wouldn't want an employeer saying they would hire you, but then giving the position to someone else.

>All this "STOP HAVING FUN WRONG" autism
God damn it /tg/.

>>50358326
How am I supposed to have fun if I know other people are having fun wrong?

>>50354245
my DM drives me batshit with the opposite of this.
"Okay guys were're playing forgotten realms, you're in cormyr, in suchnsuch city, in this year"
*Make reference to something that is 100% cannon and is accepted fact by everyone in the setting"
"Oh well no no not in my setting"
Fuck you man we're either playing FR or not, you can't just decide whole sections of the lore don't exist because you personally don't care of it.

>>50358074
Thats some good, possibly great, accidental rping. Which makes it beter the longer I think about it.

>Rides here. Grab Sammy and lets go!
Maybe I should bring Bruce instead
>Bruce? whos Bruce?
Yeah, Bruce, you know?
>no!
I've had him since we started.... Duh.
>the sniper rifle?
No... Thats Clyde
>what? Whatever, Just grab the fucking shotgun!

>>50357337
>Create a large backstory so my GM can pull whatever he thinks would work in the plot from it and put it in the game
>Instead he gets angry at me and insists I'm trying to cheat him

>Start a new game, with all new players
>One is just playing himself, two have concepts but lack creativity, fourth has a backstory but can't roleplay
>Play for only an hour and a half each week
>Slowly start introducing mechanics one at a time
>Week one is combat
>Week two is skills and NPC engagement
>Three is travelling and camping, four is non-combat equipment, etc.
>Coax them into roleplaying with over eager and obvious NPCs
>Gratuitous combat for the rollplayers
>By the end of the 'introductory' arc:
>Player A spends most of the time memeing or throwing a single spell
>Player B is a complete edgelord, with the social grace of a steamroller
>Player C has a bad build, is only interested in combat, doesn't know the rules - and has the worst luck I have every seen.
>Player D is the inverse, only in it for the story, but goes catatonic in social situations
>They can't remember the name of a single npc, town, or event
>Most still need help with the rules
>Metagaming, everywhere

But you know what I did? I stuck with it. They were interested, but only to a degree. I took things slow...

>>50358550

Three months later:
>Player A is the social driver, spreading the name of their group, excelling at combat support
>he's asking when he can roll for skills, and he's dedicated to learning the lore of the world
>Player B's edgelord was the mistake of an enthusiastic, but inexperienced roleplayer
>still covered in chains, spikes, and skulls, but he's learned to roll with the jokes and embrace the campyness
>Player C is reworking his character to a new class, and turns out he is very interested in the story, just unsure how to express it
>his roleplaying is quiet and deadpan, serving as an excellent straight man to the others
>Player D has warmed to the group, serves as the moral compass, and is constantly adapting her spell list
>also making good use of skills and is damn inquisitive - when people aren't involved, that is

Best of all:
>"What about the X?"
>"No, we can't ask about that, we wouldn't kow that yet."
>"Oh, right, sorry!"

>"Isn't Y the town to the east?"
>"Yeah, it's the one with the tower from the war, remember?"

>"You're not gonna make it if you have to run around..."
>"GM, Can I jump that gap?"
"Can you?"
>"I'm going to try. Otherwise that guard will die."
>proceeds to ONE PUNCH a hellhound after leaping a massive gap

>"GM, you said that big leafy cloak we got off the plant monster was like leather, right?"
"Yeah, it's spongy but tough."
>"Well, instead of a cloak, could we get it made into armor?"
"Hm?"
>"Yeah, how big is it? Could we take it to a leatherworker?"
>And now two of them have custom, matching magical plant armor

They're not the best players, I'm not the best GM, but I'm proud of how far they've come.

Just some good to balance out the bad in the thread and give some gm somewhere hope

>>50349287
They treat everything as a joke. Everything. They will never not seek to mock what I do for them as a GM.

>>50357251
I think his problem might be more of a shadowrun, wh40k or ffg star wars one instead of dnd one.

I know in age of rebellion, I never had to change out of the armor or use anything but the vibroknucklrs I got in chargen.

In shadowrun, I spent 26000 nuyen on a dress and there was no difference in stats while my fellow players bought 2000 nuyen suits with bonuses they wore to every negotiation and party.

>>50354054
Worse; Only War, where everyone is RPing - but solely with their comrade.

>>50358605
>In shadowrun, I spent 26000 nuyen on a dress and there was no difference in stats while my fellow players bought 2000 nuyen suits with bonuses they wore to every negotiation and party.
The clothing may have the same social dice bonus, but there's a list of social modifiers in the core book, and NPCs should react differently to different things - creating different effective dice pool modifiers.

>>50350195
>Whyi s common sense an alien concept to some people
Combination of general stupidity and an over exposure to anime and other absurdist forms of fiction.

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>>50350244
Yes, because installing a mod to make my inventory sortable, or to correct sticky interface resulting from a poor console-to-mouse port, or to update the graphics, or to add new music, or to stop the game from crashing, is clearly "raping" it.

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>Complaining about encounters when I've been exacting in almost all of my calculations and run playtests of shit with copies of my players' sheets behind their backs
>Actively trying to make a big climactic showdown with the villain anticlimactic for the sake of a tactical or mechanical advantage, even if I can't fault them for actually doing it
>Rolling eerily-similar PCs across multiple campaigns
>Not paying attention
>Refusing to use the IRC dicebot for whatever reason
>Looting everything in a game that might not necessarily be about fucking bitches and getting money, going full murderhobo, and generally having little to no excuse for it in the setting
>Reducing everything to memes and jokes
>Complete lack of any kind of real tactical thinking or coordination among the party
>Not knowing what to do on their turn when it comes around to them
>Any kind of doomsaying on the part of any player when the encounter has been devised specifically for the sake of being challenging-but-survivable
>Complaining about their PC getting killed when that's just a facet of the game
>ANY rage-quits, ever

And yet, still wouldn't trade my group for the world.

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This Saturday, I am going to my first ever RPG session. What are some tips I should know so I don't become another horror story?

>>50358854
First Tip: Never come to /tg/ for advice

>>50358854
Remember to tip the dm.

>>50358877
This above anything else.

This place is not even good for mechanics help anymore. Just listen to other players in your group and the gm.

>>50349565
Even into modern times! It's why no one would know what B29 44-86292 is but everyone knows the Enola Gay.

Speaking of gay, though, maybe OP means naming shit that then gets treat like shit. All the trouble naming it like it's important and an extension of your character's body then tossing it aside for a few gp when something else comes along that adds .0002 to your dps.

>>50354326
I've had the same experience. I often see people on this board talking about helping players to get better, or asking how to teach players to be more involved. I've spent years doing it and ultimately, it's like trying to teach fish how to wear hats. Some things can't be learned.

>>50358854
As long as you actually have some sort of social skills, you'll be fine. The horror story players tend to be sociallly broken people with little to no self awareness. Also hygiene.

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>>50349287
>things that make you hate your players

Describe something happening in a horror game.

"Oh, is this the monster from the movie such-and-such? It's okay guys, all we have to do is" (relates entire plot of movie)

It's fucking infuriating. He isn't even right half the time, because he's referring to some anime I've never seen, and when he is right, he's still wrong, because I don't follow the plots of movies closely enough for what he says to matter. Which often leads to people following his suggestions, based on nothing in the actual game, and then being frustrated when, surprise, that wasn't the answer.

But at least he ruins any semblance of atmosphere or creepiness, so I guess good for him.

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>Party is fighting their own personalized bosses on the way to the final villain
>Finally, the party duelist is face to face with the villain
>Villan taunts the duelest with the death of one of her lovers
>Mentions another character who was the crux of the entire first half of the plot, betrayed the party, and was brutally beaten to death by another PC, acting as a catalyst for their character development
>Duelest: "I honestly have no idea who he's talking about"
>mfw
>Try to jog her memory by retelling a portion of the plot thus far
>Nothing
>The player has been so far completely engaged in the story and characters, but just blanked on most of the plot up until this point
>Have to take a break for food because I'm so caught off-guard by this
I was able to recover and the final duel was every bit as climactic as I had planned with dramatic rescues, heroic speeches, and bear puns aplenty, but the whole experience was so jarring to me.
Honestly, it's caused me to become a little self conscious of my GMing. The party is always telling me that the games I run are always their favorites and the current game is my best one yet, but if I can't even make a main plot point stick with a player how good can I be?

>>50350039
>Charlemagne is a weeb
Neat.
People name things that they use, this is seen all the fucking time. People name cars, people name computers, people name cows and pigs they fully intend to eat, people name rifles, and yes people even name swords. People give shit names all the goddamn time, we like to attach personalities to things without personalities even when it makes no sense.
>Oh Laverne here (a sword) works better when I sharpen this edge first and polish her from tip to hilt
It probably doesn't work better when you sharpen a specific edge first but you attach those personality traits to it anyway because you are a human.

Here is some people talking about car names
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3nwv95/what_did_you_name_your_car/
And people naming their guns
http://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2012/05/robert-farago/question-of-the-day-do-you-name-your-guns/

But yeah clearly characters naming inanimate objects is something no person would ever do and any player who does that should be kicked out of their group.

I think my favorite is the fact that none of my party thinks it is a wise idea to have someone watching for enemies while they rest in the middle of plains or dungeons.

We've been sneak-attacked by goblins on several occasions. I've suggested taking watch. They'll agree and fake waking up only to go back to sleep after my character hits the sack, and then we get sneak attacked again.

>>50359276
Why even respond to that shitter?

>>50357393
>"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"

The English saying isn't that different.

>>50352487
waifus are just noxious kind of trash

>>50359194
It happens to the best of us. You're fine mate. Player blanked. We're all human. but it sounds like you played it well. kudos

I've learned through the years, that there is no silver bullet when it comes to these things, just the bullet that gets through. Likewise as long as you're hitting most of the notes, people ignore the hiccups.

Sounds like you took a hit, but were able to keep going

>>50358995
I've made little tally marks and notes in campaigns tracking how often someone has been wrong. Is it petty? Oh yes it is. Is it fun when you tell them and show them your notes? I almost want to be in a game with players like that again just to see the reaction.

>>50359194
Believe me, the players do NOT remember as much as you do.
If they did, one of them would have realized that the swords they picked up two real-time months ago (only a few in-game days) are the same swords a sketchy character is looking for.

>>50360031
I'd like to clarify I've only done this as a player and not a GM.

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>>50352030
I usually just go
> scientists admit by all logic this should not function
Or
> I could explain how this works but it would take three hours and you would need a doctorate in Bio-Informatics to understand

>>50349287
>>players rolling when not asked to and bitching when their critical result is declared null and void
Sometimes I humor this, because I play-by-post and I don't want to waste time asking for rolls.
>>above, combined with social rolls
This is why I include the Emnity Clause in my games. God, that rule is fun.

>>50355594
Maybe they had a bad experience to a prior DM, or heard some horror stories.

>>50360041
Sometimes.

I remember one time; the party murderhobo innocuously decided to take a stone hammer with them as we wrapped up. Come the following session, their curse kicks in and they do stuff only the GM knows of - but the rest of us find blood and corpses, with a stone hammer planted squarely in the middle of it.

"Didn't you take that stone hammer with you at the end of the last session?"

Holy fuck, I was not prepared for the level of denial and barefaced lying that came from this. Even a retcon to avoid suspicion would have been ok with me, but I remember the fucker's gleeful look while asking about his new hammer's damage.

>>50349387
It would be so easy to fuck with this type of player

>you attempt to circle around the goblins and step on a dragons tail

>>50360327
Because the dragon lost his tail and is recuperating after getting goblins to help him

>>50350249
What the actual fuck do those mean?

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>>50349287
The fucking dices...always is with the goddamn fucking dices.... when the players not calculate where the dices are going to land... rolling over the miniatures knocking them. When asked to roll anywhere but in the grid/miniatures then start fucking rolling in the edge of the table making the die to fall down the chairs and table then fucking moving down there to find them. Also, this fuckers always wanting to pick the most blurry/erased dice avaibable so they cant even read their own result.

>>50360460
>I can't into Google

>>50358320
>verbal contract isn't a contract
But it is

>>50353287
I wish my GMs would add more of that kind of lateral thinking puzzle to his games. One time I played a pacifist paladin with maxed out diplomacy. I tried playing him like a real hero, who tries to spare defeated foes and recognizes when someone is not a real threat to him. But every single evil creature/character he came across would charge him like lemmings until they were knocked out or killed.

>>50349379
I call my dick Lil' Soldier. Always stands at attention.

>>50349321
Our young first time DM kept trying to get us to go against a Greater Daemon of Khorne. We ran away every time.

>>50349287
Oh man the second guessing and cold feet shit irks me. Guy in the group has the biggest flip flop about randomly attacking shady characters first even if they arent hostile but have numbers on us. Instantly clams up if anything unknown is encountered and says we are going to all get killed.

>>50360205
That sounds like an insane character and a player staying true to that.

>>50350001
It would be very painful

>>50360164

We all started playing at the same time, the only other DM they've ever had is in the group as a player...

>>50360882
He's a big warrior

>>50357302

it's honestly not just even mimics, every NPC they meet they think is some kind of BBEG in disguise or something.

>>50349460
He also said "sometimes"

>>50360783
It was taken OOC as soon as I asked the question. The character was sane, but given a very specific curse.

>>50360460
All of them are mods which restore content the developer originally intended but had to be left on the cutting room floor. At that point you're using mods to play the game closer to how it was originally intended, not farther.

>>50353945
That made me chortle.

>>50361069
TFix and TafferPatcher aren't, but they come with the updated engine (NewDark) needed to make the games function properly on modern OS's.

>In my setting...

>In D&D...

>In X vidya...

>In X anime...

HOLY SHIT SHUT THE FUCK UP WE ARE NOT PLAYING YOUR HALF-EMPTY RIPPED OFF SETTING OR D&D OR YOUR FUCKING VIDYA OR ANIME

>>50352010
>sabotaging the game in the hope of playing a different game next week, namely pathfinder
why

>>50352111
I think he blame is half on the DM's part for this one.
I get it was probably a random encounter, but when it can't be fought the DM should try to make it interesting in some other way.
Like, I dunno, the minotaurs seems to have kidnapped the local lord and he was the one that was supposed to pay you so if you want money you'll have to free him without fightning. Or something, anything to avoid the:
>roll
>There are a bunch of minotaurs in the middle of the road
>we avoid them
>k
Because it means you rolled for absolutely nothing. It didn't add anything to the story and it wasn't a real challenge.

>>50353418
>But how does FTL work?
I dunno. Nobody really understands. It was discovered by some lucky bloke in his basement and others were able to replicate it, but no one really get how it works. The most widespread half-baked explanation has to do with gravity waves and ripples and strings and rubber, but even quantum physicians have a hard time unraveling this mess.
That's also why if you don't overlook methodically your navigational computer you can end on the other side of the galaxy five years in the past and forty-six billions light years from any inhabited world, when you had just enough fuel to reach the neighbouring star. So pray Gagarin and be careful.

>>50353690
You can use fire magic in Fallout?

>>50358854
If you're not the DM, it easy, really:
Ask your DM and other players to be sure what the tone and genre of the game will be. Don't bring Guts to a Scooby-Doo game.
Take a shower before going. I know you're not necessarily a fat, dirty neckbeard, but I feel like sometimes you need to remind people of the most obvious things. Sometimes they get too obvious and we forget them.
It's okay if you don't understand all of the rules. It's not okay if you don't even make an effort and try to understand the rules.
Don't get drunk or high if you're not 100% sure the group will be okay with that.
Everyoone has their own way of having fun. Don't interrupt the game unless you really can't keep playing with someone at the table because he really is an asshole. Take some time to talk about it like adults after the game.

And, last but not least: don't be an asshole yourself.

>>50356663
Your point still stands.

>>50360327
>you all step in snap traps
>turns out the Gobbo approach to hunting is "traps EVERYWHERE" and they were walking the one safe route

>>50352992
Party wipeout.

>>50349986
lol whu dat guy?

>>50353418
Just say "your character already knows how it works", I mean if FTL ever becomes a thing IRL I'm sure that even third graders would be taught how it works.

>>50361535
Right, because we already teach them rocket science and brain surgery.

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>>50361576
>rocket science
Huh? I've learned in the 5th or 6th grade how rockets work.

>>50358816
>Anime causes stupidity
I bet it's the gun's fault you shot someone too, huh?

>>50361600
>3rd grade
>well I did that 2-3 years later!
Settle the fuck down, Jimmy.

>>50358031
Etched Champion

>>50350244
It's not like the balance of Bethesda's games is any good to start with. Might as well dick around and see if there's anything worth changing.

>>50360681
Might want to see a doctor about erections lasting for more than 4 hours.

>>50361576
we do teach them the basic principles of rocket science

>>50350179
hey i have to find some way to slaughter the children of skyrim

>>50350179
>not full-sister rape storyline

>>50358445
>Plays completely different character than the backstory is about
>Somehow this is good
Anon, what the fuck?

If you need a proper example - imagine a guy playing your average NE character, that just cares about himself and nobody else. Then the player brings in LG paladin backstory that shares only the character's name with his PC.

This is the contrast we are talking about here.